This one goes out to the pseudo-therapist-sexologist quacks everywhere and the diploma mills who love them. I’m rerunning my piece on Chump Credentials. Join IAACS now! It’s about time I fluffed up my resumé. I mean, what’s keeping me from a TED talk and international corporate stardom? Goddamn it, I need an Institute! There, let me […]
I Don’t Write for You
Dear Chump Lady, I love the UBT letters. But, what if a cheater realized their affair was the biggest mistake ever, and they were truly sorry, and that they wanted their spouse back? What would that look like, exactly? Words, actions, whatever. Use made up characters if you’d like. A physical affair, emotional, or in […]
The First Chump Podcast!
Hey, I just wanted to let everyone know, it took AGES but I finally just recorded and posted the first Chump Lady podcast over on Patreon! It’s a half hour with yours truly and Mr. Chump Lady, discussing all the fun that is going to court. Mr CL is a trial lawyer, and the sort […]
Good Advice, Bad Advice?
Hey Amazon chumps! You know who you are — sort of person who responds to crisis with research. How many reconciliation books did you buy? Is “When Good People Cheat” still gathering dust on your shelf? This Friday Challenge is for you. Tell me what unicorn messages you got from the existing infidelity literature. Did you […]
When Entitlement Meets Vulnerability
This blog promotes a radical idea — that cheating is about entitlement and lousy character. Not unmet needs, not the baby weight, or your children, not the impossibility of monogamy, or the 53 ways you’re appallingly inadequate. NO. Entitlement. We don’t make people abuse us. They have agency. And we have agency in how we […]
Chump Lady Descends Into Middle Age
Happy birthday to me today. Every year I rerun this column, which has become one of the founding texts of CN. To the newbies, my 40th birthday was absurdly awful — I spent it shoveling shit. What a difference a few years makes. It’s 2018 now, I’m fifty&^%#two (!!!) today and I’m working on my […]
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t give up
Dear Chump Lady, Help. Help. Help. What is wrong with me? I simply cannot give up. The corner must turn? I haven’t done anything to provoke this wrath. One day will he understand how selfish and immature he is!? I need to not care if he’s great for someone else. He’s not great for me. […]
Dear Chump Lady, Can I go NC with my step-daughter?
Dear Chump Lady, My D-Day involved a stranger texting me about my cheater’s profile on a “sugar baby” site. He had spent $30K (much of it my money) on sex with dozens of women. He eventually revealed that he’d had an affair during his first marriage — something he always adamantly denied, saying “I wasn’t […]
UBT: Chump Lady’s ‘attitude’
Dear Chump Lady, Here’s a gem. I told my ex to read your blog. “You might want to know that CL’s abusive condescending and completely unempathetic attitude towards me (who actually wants to be a good person) has been very hurtful. I want to be good but she (and I guess you) just want to focus […]
God Rest Her Soul
There would be no Chump Lady without Aretha Franklin. I don’t know what the soundtrack of your grief and triumph was, but mine was — and has always been — Aretha Franklin. She was local royalty. I’m a fifth-generation Detroiter (now expat) and Aretha has always seemed a part of the firmament. I remember her […]
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