Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now and am learning tons about all the different kinds of fuckwits out there. For some reason I really need my cheater to be a narcissist. I’m stuck on the idea that if he isn’t a narcissist then maybe there was something wrong with […]
Wife Wants to ‘Renegotiate’ the Relationship
Dear Chump Lady, Without going into too much detail with our past, my wife and I are at a bit of a crossroads with our marriage. Long story short, there has been a history of insecurity and trust issues on my part due to various instances of her emotional cheating, sending inappropriate photos and messages […]
UBT: Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother
Who’s ready for another personal testimonial to the wonders of cheating? It brightens! It whitens! It dices! It slices! And it’s good for stubborn stains. I bring you Medium’s Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother — “My affair made me happier and, by consequence, also my kids” by Elle Silver. I know, […]
Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner
One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the affair partner! You’re a lot alike! You could be friends! The chump is absolutely gobsmacked by this (clearly, or they wouldn’t submit such nonsense to this blog). Which got me […]
‘I Thought You Were Okay With It’
This nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say was recently submitted to me: “Let’s be honest. You’ve had another man in your life for the past 5 years”. This is referring to our 5-year-old son! “I thought you were ok with it. Whenever I went out, the next day you just asked if I had fun.“ […]
How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?
Dear Chump Lady, Although he fits the readings, although the therapists tell you he is a narcissist, you don’t quite believe it. It isn’t quite human. How can someone be this weird? I decided when I worked out that our “reconciliation” was actually emotional abuse, when I discovered I had descended into a bitter, hopeless, […]
Dear Chump Lady, She has abs of steel
Dear Chump Lady, I need your help because I sabotage my own life by comparing myself to the ex’s new woman (one of the many OW behind my back). She owns a business. She is also a cross fit junkie with abs of steel. My body is soft. She is blond. I have almost black […]
When Your D-Day Is After the Divorce
Dear Chump Lady, How do I get over the Beauty and Beast fiction? Briefly: married my brother’s friend at 25, 2 girls and 20 years later, he divorces me. The 3 years up to divorce, I was a solid gold pick me dancer to a covert narcissist. (My diagnosis/skein untangling.) I was always successful in […]
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think he’s a narcissist
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a chump who discovered my husband’s year-long affair that took place nine years ago while dealing with the fallout of me discovering him messaging and dating a couple of women telling them we’d separated and that he was lonely. A bit of backstory, at the time of the messaging/dating, I’d left […]
“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]
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