Dear Chump Lady, I’m a professionally successful gay man in his mid-thirties. I live and work in the U.K. as a doctor and am on the cusp of my board level examinations. I should be the equivalent of an attending within a year. With me, for the last five-and-a-bit years, until the end of February […]
Snappy Answers to Chumpy Questions
Dear Chump Lady, My husband keeps cheating on me with the same woman. They were in a relationship before he and I got into one. For many years, I thought that they’d stopped. It was initially a 5-year gap before I found out about the second time. Our relationship has been threatened by her before […]
Is He Just Your Average Narcissist?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now and am learning tons about all the different kinds of fuckwits out there. For some reason I really need my cheater to be a narcissist. I’m stuck on the idea that if he isn’t a narcissist then maybe there was something wrong with […]
Wife Wants to ‘Renegotiate’ the Relationship
Dear Chump Lady, Without going into too much detail with our past, my wife and I are at a bit of a crossroads with our marriage. Long story short, there has been a history of insecurity and trust issues on my part due to various instances of her emotional cheating, sending inappropriate photos and messages […]
UBT: Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother
Who’s ready for another personal testimonial to the wonders of cheating? It brightens! It whitens! It dices! It slices! And it’s good for stubborn stains. I bring you Medium’s Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother — “My affair made me happier and, by consequence, also my kids” by Elle Silver. I know, […]
Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner
One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the affair partner! You’re a lot alike! You could be friends! The chump is absolutely gobsmacked by this (clearly, or they wouldn’t submit such nonsense to this blog). Which got me […]
‘I Thought You Were Okay With It’
This nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say was recently submitted to me: “Let’s be honest. You’ve had another man in your life for the past 5 years”. This is referring to our 5-year-old son! “I thought you were ok with it. Whenever I went out, the next day you just asked if I had fun.“ […]
How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?
Dear Chump Lady, Although he fits the readings, although the therapists tell you he is a narcissist, you don’t quite believe it. It isn’t quite human. How can someone be this weird? I decided when I worked out that our “reconciliation” was actually emotional abuse, when I discovered I had descended into a bitter, hopeless, […]
Dear Chump Lady, She has abs of steel
Dear Chump Lady, I need your help because I sabotage my own life by comparing myself to the ex’s new woman (one of the many OW behind my back). She owns a business. She is also a cross fit junkie with abs of steel. My body is soft. She is blond. I have almost black […]
When Your D-Day Is After the Divorce
Dear Chump Lady, How do I get over the Beauty and Beast fiction? Briefly: married my brother’s friend at 25, 2 girls and 20 years later, he divorces me. The 3 years up to divorce, I was a solid gold pick me dancer to a covert narcissist. (My diagnosis/skein untangling.) I was always successful in […]
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