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Is He Just Your Average Narcissist?

January 7, 2021 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now and am learning tons about all the different kinds of fuckwits out there. For some reason I really need my cheater to be a narcissist. I’m stuck on the idea that if he isn’t a narcissist then maybe there was something wrong with […]

Filed Under: Narcissism Tagged With: Divorcing a narcissist, Narcissism 121 Comments

Wife Wants to ‘Renegotiate’ the Relationship

October 5, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Without going into too much detail with our past, my wife and I are at a bit of a crossroads with our marriage. Long story short, there has been a history of insecurity and trust issues on my part due to various instances of her emotional cheating, sending inappropriate photos and messages […]

Filed Under: Narcissism, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Narcissist

UBT: Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother

August 27, 2020 by Chump Lady

Who’s ready for another personal testimonial to the wonders of cheating? It brightens! It whitens! It dices! It slices! And it’s good for stubborn stains. I bring you Medium’s Cheating on My Husband Made Me a Better Mother — “My affair made me happier and, by consequence, also my kids” by Elle Silver. I know, […]

Filed Under: Children and infidelity, Narcissism, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Narcissist, Universal Bullshit Translator

Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner

June 9, 2020 by Chump Lady

Stay friends

One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the affair partner! You’re a lot alike! You could be friends! The chump is absolutely gobsmacked by this (clearly, or they wouldn’t submit such nonsense to this blog). Which got me […]

Filed Under: Cheaters Decoded, Narcissism, Other Man, Other Women, Pick me dance Tagged With: cake eating, Ego Kibbles, Pick Me Dance

‘I Thought You Were Okay With It’

March 23, 2020 by Chump Lady

This nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say was recently submitted to me: “Let’s be honest. You’ve had another man in your life for the past 5 years”. This is referring to our 5-year-old son! “I thought you were ok with it. Whenever I went out, the next day you just asked if I had fun.“ […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Narcissism Tagged With: Blameshifting

How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?

August 14, 2019 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, Although he fits the readings, although the therapists tell you he is a narcissist, you don’t quite believe it. It isn’t quite human. How can someone be this weird? I decided when I worked out that our “reconciliation” was actually emotional abuse, when I discovered I had descended into a bitter, hopeless, […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Ego kibbles, Narcissism, No contact, Trust that they suck Tagged With: divorce, Narcissist

Dear Chump Lady, She has abs of steel

July 1, 2019 by Chump Lady

Muffin top

Dear Chump Lady,  I need your help because I sabotage my own life by comparing myself to the ex’s new woman (one of the many OW behind my back). She owns a business. She is also a cross fit junkie with abs of steel. My body is soft. She is blond. I have almost black […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Narcissism, Other Women Tagged With: Trust That They Suck

When Your D-Day Is After the Divorce

June 27, 2019 by Chump Lady

Narcissist Goldfish

Dear Chump Lady, How do I get over the Beauty and Beast fiction? Briefly: married my brother’s friend at 25, 2 girls and 20 years later, he divorces me. The 3 years up to divorce, I was a solid gold pick me dancer to a covert narcissist. (My diagnosis/skein untangling.) I was always successful in […]

Filed Under: Narcissism, Trust that they suck Tagged With: divorce, Narcissist

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think he’s a narcissist

May 29, 2019 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a chump who discovered my husband’s year-long affair that took place nine years ago while dealing with the fallout of me discovering him messaging and dating a couple of women telling them we’d separated and that he was lonely. A bit of backstory, at the time of the messaging/dating, I’d left […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Narcissism, Polyamory Tagged With: Narcissist, Open Marriage

“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”

January 8, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Character disorder, Gaslighting, Narcissism, No contact, Sociopathy Tagged With: Abusers

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