Doug Weiss and Joni Lamb’s Godly Engagment
If you’ll recall, last February I snarked about “sex addiction” therapist Doug Weiss’s divorce announcement. Shockingly, the unicorn could not heal his marriage. Yet, he’s got lots of blameshifting advice for chumps (excuse me, Intimacy Anorexics). Find your husband with prostitutes? Up your sex game, little lady.
Anyway, I wasn’t going to devote any more blog bandwidth to Douglas Weiss. Because, eww. Brain bleach. But then I got this nice comment from Al recently.
Obviously Chump Lady has not listened to Doug Weiss’s material. He completely blames the guy (or woman) who cheats. He constantly teaches compassion and understanding toward the wounded spouse. Sadly, his marriage was lost. We don’t know the facts but right or wrong it impacts his credibility. Chump Lady with your skewed analysis seems you have some hurts. Sorry. Try a relationship with Jesus.
Sadly, his marriage was lost. Did it fall out of his pocket? Has a golden retriever puppy run off with it and chewed it to bits? Did Doug forget his marriage password? OMG WHAT HAPPENED AL?
We don’t know the facts but right or wrong it impacts his credibility.
I was, in fact, snarking about the facts — he announced his divorce, and there are troubling reviews of Doug Weiss’s services. Also, hello… his godawful videos. But I’m curious why you think divorce impacts his credibility. If this was any other kind of counseling, a therapist’s divorce would be irrelevant. But if you shame people into thinking divorce is failure and if they’d only been sexier this wouldn’t have happened — why yes, it may have the stench of hypocrisy.
Chump Lady with your skewed analysis seems you have some hurts.
Nothing some sex tips from Doug Weiss couldn’t fix.
Sorry. Try a relationship with Jesus.
Oh Al. You had to bring Jesus into it.
Now, I’m a very lapsed Methodist preacher’s kid, but I seem to recall Old Testament God wasn’t keen on adultery. Now, I’m not saying sex addiction therapist Doug Weiss is a cheater, but getting engaged as the ink dries on your divorce is a classic cheater move.
Engaged? Say it isn’t so, Tracy! How can this hunky man of God with his Christian sex tips be off the market!
Sorry ladies. Christian broadcaster Joni Lamb got there first.
Joni is the cofounder of Daystar religious broadcasting. If you want to read about the long list of prosperity gospel controversies, check out the Wikipedia page. Joni’s husband Marcus died of COVID in 2021. He was also a cheater and settled some sexual harassment lawsuits. So, perhaps she and Doug were drawn together by the intimacy anorexia that must’ve caused Marcus’s wandering dick. I don’t know.
March 10, she announced via Instagram her engagement to “a godly man” Weiss.
And we know he’s godly because polygraphs for porn!
Funny how, the month before, Dr. Doug suddenly lets people know he’s divorced. Which is kind of weird when you run a marriage counseling practice, to keep that under your hat just in time to go public with your twu wuv.
Huh. If you’ve been divorced for months and dating a recent widow with a larger social media following than yours, why not mention it? Poor Lisa Weiss. I guess your platform wasn’t sexy enough to keep your husband.
Because “Godly” means what, exactly? That he would never, EVER cheat?
Or is it more that he thinks he is God?
Speaking of “godly man” if anyone has been following the trial of (Jesus Cheater) Lori Vallow Daybell like me (maybe it’s because as a post-Mormon myself everything is all too familiar and stomach turning yet I can’t look away), her affair partner and accomplice in murder Chad Daybell apparently claimed he was part of the Godhead. If you can find his “novella” he wrote (texted) about their twu wuv and can stomach reading it…just ugh.
the chumps were sacrificed (literally murdered) for the cheaters “loin fire”.
If their loins are on fire they might want to see a doctor about that…
and as bad as that is: unfathomably, devastatingly, they killed her two precious children for their own twu wuv loin fire
When we hear he is “godly” just ask “which god? Bacchus?”
The first google review on this guys counseling business says “It took me 13 years of polygraphs to realize that the trust and respect was never going to be restored.” Can you imagine pick me dancing for 13 years (13 years!) while making your FW do polygraphs to finally realize that it just isn’t going to work out?
You know what gets me, is God allows people like this to walk the earth. 🤢🤮 They are an absolute cancer! Their hypocritical “God and cheaters/addicts/liars/narc pricks are amazing! CHUMPS, on the other hand, suck and should let all of us amazing people walk all over them.”
That is why I don’t think God ever interferes with us. We are here and we are supposed to behave ourselves. I have seen absolutely no sign that humanity will ever do better.
I did not know Jesus when he was alive, but I do know he is famous for his lack of condescension.
And condescension in those who claim to be his disciples is a giveaway that they have a lot to learn.
Cheating, lying, and hypocrisy are even bigger giveaways.
Try practicing what you preach, Al.
Every word gold, Velvet. Spot on.
I want my $500.00 back from that BS POS. Typical. I take not one once of responsibility contributing to my ex pornhogs behavior. I hope they both get crotch rot.
Only 500.00$? Mine blew through close to 3500.00$ in 7-8yrs. That is only what he spent on porn and “accessories”.
Crotch rot = “loin fire” in Jesus-cheater speak.
One of her readers posted this, 6th comment down. I wonder if it will stay up, or be deleted:
knitannatank’s profile picture
Not good. Why did Doug divorce his first wife and not tell anyone? Why is Jimmy Evans supporting this? It all seems pretty shady. No problem with Joni remarrying as a widow, but this seems bizarre that Doug only announces his divorce a year after the fact right before announcing engagement to Joni.
The Bible I read and preach from as a pastor tells stories of Jesus calling out religious people–i.e. Pharisees and teachers of the law. Usually, they are very blunt statements. CL does this regarding religious cheaters, especially. That is precisely the medicine such people need. They don’t need coddling.
I wanna know what happened to “Go forth and sin no more.”
Jesus didn’t allow the adultress to walk away not having been stoned to death and tell her to go do whatever she wanted. He said sin no more. I’m pretty sure that means “Hey, stop doing this.”
If these folks were so godly youd think after divorce no. 1 they would iunno…maybe stop it with the cheating…
But what do I know I’m not Christian (shrug)
What would Jesus do?
Tipping over tables, swinging whips and addressing them with snarky comments about whitewashed tombs is what I recall.
New Testament God also isn’t big on adultery, and according to Jesus and St. Paul, it’s still grounds for divorce.
Who, or what, is Al ?
I think it was a reference to artificial intelligence (AI) writing the comment. It sure reads like it, yeesh.
I read it like that at first too, then I saw it was typed as “AL” but still lol
I am also Al, that is A-L, and it’s a bummer that A-I (literally the dumbest idea ever, but meh), has necessitated my using capital letters for my (post D-Day) name. I used to be ‘Alexander’ or ‘Alex’, but that was my chump name. In my case ‘AL’ isn’t short for anything. I’m Greek Orthodox/Russian Jewish, bi-lingual in English and German and ‘AL’ doesn’t mean anything in any of those languages. I liked ‘Alex’, but he’s gone, meh. But AL is here! I have retained much more than I’ve lost. CL and this community have allowed me the space to stretch my cranial capacity to understand that that trigger, that BANG!, isn’t coming from a real gun with real bullets. All triggers will always be triggers. Everything is a trigger. The only question is how do I react? The metaphor I have now is that of a starter pistol. I hear the bang, but what do I do? Do I start running the race/lap/maze or do I duck-and-cover? Do I cram my fingers in my ears and shout lalala? Do I try to run away through the crowd and hope I find the exit? Yes, to those and a thousand other Pavlovian responses; for 37 years. Well, now that I have grokked that it’s not a real gun with real bullets and that it’s just a starting pistol I am working on anticipating the ‘bang!’ and then not reacting. That is the state of ‘meh’ I was able to achieve and am able to achieve, but it is not easy and there will be setbacks. However, this is a yuuuuuge step for me after 37 years of hearing the bang and reacting as if it’s a real gun! I have been running the various races and mazes, dutifully sallying forth to chase the dragon of trying to find a finish line. I want out of that and into a state of meh. I want out of that and the only way is through meh. It isn’t numbness, it isn’t denial, it isn’t approval, it isn’t forgiveness and it isn’t grace; it is radical acceptance of a state of permanent emotional trauma caused by a serially cheating spouse that can be managed and I know that now.
Non sequitur: how does one sign up as a regular contributor to comments?
AL, I just watched a bit of Man on Fire, specifically remembering where Denzel is teaching Dakota how to get off the block after the starter gun is fired.
AL, welcome to the land of sanity. So sorry you need to be here but this place literally saved my sanity. I very much like your idea of a new name for a new person. I too feel like I am forever changed. Eventually the triggers are less frequent and less intense.
“the only way is through meh. It isn’t numbness, it isn’t denial, it isn’t approval, it isn’t forgiveness and it isn’t grace; it is radical acceptance of a state of permanent emotional trauma caused by a serially cheating spouse that can be managed and I know that now.”
You are spot on with this!
Wishing all chumps radical acceptance and meh
Chumpin’ ain’t easy, neversawitcoming, but perseverance furthers! Thank you for the warm welcome home BACK to sanity!
Er, ah, I guess AL I needed to do was make a comment, and a few forced puns, as guest and AI does the rest. #ItSucksLivingInTheFuture
“Bang, trigger, meh”. So much potential ire bubbles up daily, hourly, quickly yet inexorably and even on the best of them for the best of us. But, the key word there is ‘potential’ and the rest noisy imagery. “Bang, trigger, meh”: moment seized. Watch, rinse, repeat: day seized. Worried about tomorrow? “Bang, trigger, meh”: night seized.
I’d like to amend the above to: “Bang, starter pistol, meh”. The “Bang” is heard, recognized to be merely a “starter pistol” to which no reaction is required by you, ie. ‘meh’.
It’s so bizarre how some people think it’s reasonable to insult another person through suggesting that their legitimate experience of pain — and changes to avoid similar future pain — is some kind of weakness or failure. It’s literally 100% how human beings are wired to survive via learning from experience. It is EXACTLY how we are all created, whether you’re a creationist, a science devotee, or both.
Did CL have some pain, form opinions resulting from the lessons learned from that pain, then express those thoughts and feelings to others? Yep. Does that mean the thoughts and feelings are inaccurate or unfair? Nope. Doesn’t mean that at all. And it doesn’t imply weakness either. In fact, being able to identify and express one’s opinions and feelings accurately and effectively is mature adulting 101. (Any adult who can’t recognize that could probably use some education in adulting.)
Wherever this modern juvenile behavior of mocking others for acknowledging pain, and choosing better choices based on the lessons learned from the pain, came from, it can just crawl right back to its source. All that shit makes me think is that I’m hearing the words of a person who could benefit greatly from some cloistered years studying the teachings of a compassionate person like Jesus, so they can learn how to be well rounded human beings rather than being stuck spinning in their age 13 bully phase for the rest of their lives.
Al can stop sanctimoniouly throwing around comments about how other people can benefit from what Jesus taught, shut his mouth, and read his own material more carefully. Maybe he would learn a thing or two about becoming a person who spends more energy being kind to those in need than e-admonishing everyone whose opinions differ from his own.
Cynical me thinks this is all about money. Throw some cheating in, two people whose egos think they have God’s ear, have figured out a way to separate people from their money, get married, and you have the perfect scam. Not saying this is them but ducks sound like ducks, walks like ducks…
Thank you. This is really helpful to me, how you’ve explained it.
referring especially to ” It’s so bizarre how some people think it’s reasonable to insult another person through suggesting that their legitimate experience of pain — and changes to avoid similar future pain — is some kind of weakness or failure.”
and
“Does that mean the thoughts and feelings are inaccurate or unfair? Nope. Doesn’t mean that at all.”
I thought you got a comment from A.I. hahahahahaha
That happened to me at first, too! Ha!
Damn font. AL. As in Albert. Or altogether.
Al One, Al De Besth, Al Zahir, Al Znolonger Hirtn-Szobad, Al Gunn Quinn, Al Truist, Al Rapp-Zissup.
No worries, I thought the comment was as dumb as artificial intelligence, so it checked out XD
LOL, I should play it off like I was joking (above) when I though the same thing. You mean it wasn’t?!
I respect and admire people of true faith. However, I’m very suspect of people (actually they make my skin crawl) that need to constantly broadcast their religious beliefs in every aspect of their lives. They always twist the doctrine to excuse behavior that usually is in conflict with the 10 Commandments. CL’s “Jesus Cheater” label is spot on and unfortunately far too common.
I’ve come to regard the Pharisees praying in the streets, ahem, I mean “performance art christians” as religious cosplayers . They like the entertainment value and treat “saving” others like ponzi cons posing as multilevel marketers. “With your 10th convert, you get a complete set of steak knives!”
Rant over.
Brilliant as always Chump Lady – you have a gift of being able to cut straight through to the facts like a hot knife in cold butter – thank God you are out there to give us a voice – the cloud of RIC nonsense eclipses so many from seeing the real facts. Saturday Night Live needs to do a skit on this.
I couldn’t resist tapping on the polygraphs for porn link in CL’s comments. Towards the end:
“Just last week, an addict said, ‘Thank you Dr. Weiss. I’ve been in counseling for a couple of years. My counselor was letting me get away with not doing [what was required of him], you allowed me to take a polygraph test. Today is the first day I’m not a liar, and I feel good about myself.’ Now, when a person feels really good about themselves, they’re less likely to act out, and that’s the beauty of the polygraph — it works for EVERYBODY in sexual addition recovery.”
There’s so much to love for those of us who are finally inclined to snark, not least of which:
“ALLOWED me to take a polygraph”? I’ll bet my daughter’s college tuition he was ent there kicking and screaming
Many of us know that cheaters cheat because they’re feeling TOO good about themselves (entitlement)
“it works for EVERYBODY in sexual addition recovery” . . . especially the ‘therapist’ who profits from it
Lisa, I hope you’re here, recovering from the narcissistic abuse that a marriage to Doug likely entailed.
Joni…. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️. It’s so hard to watch chumps sign up for more abuse, but I understand it. I’ve been married to two cheaters. Mom is a pathological liar (she was prosecuted for telling people she’s a doctor and writing fake Rx’s— she never graduated from college let alone med school) and that’s the tip of the iceberg to the abuse suffered at her hands. I see now that these FOO caused many of my life choices.
Long time Chump. Most years spent in ignorant bliss. (Still working out the details to minimize the destruction.) First time commenter. I remember when Cheaty McLiarface and I used to joke about the common refrain of exposed Jesus cheaters. Went something like this. “If their love wasn’t meant to be God wouldn’t have put it in them”. Yup, take a moment to ponder that Grade A mind flog, CN. Oh, and I was personally gifted with “if God intends it to be it will work out.” Cheater speak for “if the effort I feel like putting into wreckonsillyation fails it’s not my fault. God just didn’t put it in you Rensselaer.
#Ireallydidtry
Welcome, R! There are a lot of people here who thought they were dealing with one cheating episode only to learn that there was serial/ chronic cheating and sometimes it takes years to learn of it. As a young, trustful wife…I had heard to watch for changes in him which could indicate cheating but he never had those changes – that is because he never did change, he was likely a cheater from the get-go.
The Big Cheat he was ready to leave us for (and did for a while but lied about it and got away with it) was likely the tip of the iceberg. He used the excuse of Old Testament men having multiple wives as one excuse and told me that the OW was “the most Christlike” person he knew.
Wreckonsillyation fail, the cheating itself, global warming, taxes, yard work…its ALL the Chumps fault.
It’s pretty easy for cheaters to blame something huge and intangible to avoid responsibility. Blame God, “It wasn’t in God’s plan!”
Blame the devil “I was tricked by Satan!” Twu Wuv “It’s a power bigger than us!”
It’s an entity you can’t confront or argue with. Gonna go knock on God’s door and ask him why it’s not in his plan? Gonna go confront Satan about why he messed with your marriage? You can’t and the cheater knows you can’t. And these entities can’t come out of thin air and say “We didn’t do this, he did.”
Cheaters blame forces that can’t actually be confronted all the time. It’s Jesus Cheater 101.
Yes, Kara. Thank you for your comment here. This applies to former friends too. You can’t argue with anyone who plays the “God card”. It’s crazy-making. One of the children’s pastors at my church – who attended my wedding to X (25 yrs ago), who led baby blessings for my children in our backyard, who I considered a friend – told me God had called her to “minister” to the OW, with whom pastor had no relationship. I had heard pastor was spending more time with OW (a good friend of mine), yet she never checked on me or my children. Everyone in our faith community loves this pastor. She is lionized. Yet she dumped our friendship/my children – who were literally in her care at church events – bc God “called” her away from us. Bullshit.
I went to a therapy weekend focused on spiritual healing when I was expecting my ex to kick off the divorce any day. I was in a rough spot financially and scared. A friend paid for it. It was indeed very balanced and helpful.
The female leader was a local therapist who had just completed a certification program with Doug Weiss. She was professional and insightful and talked about the program and how she was applying it with her clients. It was from her that I realized just how deeply my ex’s “little” (not at all little) porn habit was a red flag factor in the derailment of my marriage.
She offered individual and group counseling packages, but I couldn’t afford her rate. We did keep in touch via Facebook, and she’d message me periodically out of concern.
One Sunday, this gal’s husband insisted he was sick and stayed home from church. When she and their teenagers came home, he was gone. The Weiss certificate was partially because her marriage was falling apart over sex addiction. They divorced, and she dropped the Weiss credential from her website.
She was classy and never aired her dirty laundry, but I messaged her a few times on a gut feeling and got the story.
That’s very sad. 🙁 It sounds like she was actually a classy woman doing a good job trying to actually help people. I really hope her life gets better.
I imagine God wants to issue a disclaimer renouncing that “Godly” label (“No, he is NOT God approved!”) similar to how Stephen King and LeBron renounced the blue checks they didn’t want and didn’t pay for.
I’m in the UK and I don’t know who these people are. We have our own high profile cheaters here, of course. I’m one person who won’t be helping to line the streets on coronation day, but hey, true love, who am I to be disdainful! The more I read, the more I am glad to be 63 and to have no interest in a relationship. There is no way of knowing whether people are trustworthy or not and I’ve given up being made a fool of. Cheaters continually take the moral high ground and chumps continually get blamed, either openly or by implication. I stick to my own morals on my own, save for my dog.
Hey Tracy,
unrelated but I realized that I am officially 3 and a half years from D-day (I didn’t realize the passing of the anniversary this year, which has to be a good thing right?)
I just want to say thank you. I keep coming back here, although D-day was a while ago for me. Your blog and your book were the anchor I needed, at the time where everything under my feet felt like moving sands.
I know I would have eventually recovered but I credit Chump Nation and this fabulous community here for helping me get back on my feet much quicker than I ever dreamed of. Thank you all
Congrats! And it’s not even Tuesday!
I looked up Joni Lambs husband Marcus and read the story of his affair. I found it interesting how the church and the couple emphasized that her husband’s affair partner wasn’t with a man or transvestite:
Following her husband’s confession, the church also felt obliged to point out that his affair was not with a man or “a transvestite”.
In a bizarre statement, the couple’s marriage therapist said: “He had one inappropriate period of misbehavior with one person, and it wasn’t a man. It wasn’t a transvestite. It was with a woman.”
The Christian couple, who reportedly live in a huge mansion with a pool in Dallas, have a history of making anti-LGBTQ+ comments on-air.
Joni reportedly once claimed homosexuality is “ungodly” and “God cannot bless you and you cannot fulfill your destiny while you are operating within the realm of homosexuality”.
And conversion therapy too! The whole toxic Jesus mix. https://www.daystar.com/news-updates/sexual-identity-panel-on-joni-08-15-2013/
I am closely related to two homosexuals, one male, one female, and they are the kindest people I know. I don’t think either of them has ever done and unkind thing. They both have stable relationships, unlike hers. What is she thinking? Is is better to be in a relationship with a cheater and condemn my two relatives, who are decent people, or to spread all that hate. I do not get how those close minded people can believe that tripe.
I know and/or am related to a dozen-ish homosexuals and transsexuals. Most of them are wonderful; a few honestly aren’t. Kind of like the rest of humanity, you know?
https://dallasvoice.com/dallas-evangelist-christian-tv-mogul-marcus-lamb-affair-transexual/
And wow, check out the photo. Is it me, or does Marcus look a bit like Wolfman Jack?
God [face palming]: “I literally gave them A COMMANDMENT CARVED IN STONE about this.”
LOL That reminds me of this: https://www.teepublic.com/long-sleeve-t-shirt/19476681-jesus-omg-you-guys-thats-not-what-i-said
His faith in God allows him to blame shift and never take accountability for anything. Why I can’t stand the “you just need Jesus” in your life. Hmm I have a conscious and morals without memorizing scripture, thank you!
Jesus isn’t about the morals, though. They already had Law for morals. Jesus came for the chumps, not the cheaters.
Anytime I hear anyone talk about a “Godly man” or a “godly wife” all I can think of is the Duggers and their bat-shit soup of crazy. Bleh.
Yes, “beware the wolves in the pulpit and in the pews.” A current friend of mine who is a pastor and licensed therapist gave me that image.
I know of many cases locally (including mine) where people were put into public roles in churches without much thought. I realize that people can manage their images and lie, but my ex was never questioned about things that should have been red flags. Both of my kids are bitter to varying degrees about that and are still processing the role that religion had in what happened. That is on my ex, not me. I try to just listen when they share their thoughts that way because they have to work through it themselves. There are no pat answers.
Well where else was Doug Weiss going to cash in the big ol’ bag of victim-blaming he’d saved up? Kind of like how no one would walk into Bergdorf’s carrying a magnetic security tag remover and wearing a hollow prosthetic pregnancy belly if they weren’t planning a heist, if someone collects preemptive rationales to cheat even if it’s in the form of philosophical, generalized chump shaming/blaming, it’s an obvious sign of intent.
I don’t like “in your face” anything for advertising. Pretending to be Godly to sanctify ungodly actions is a stomach turner for me. But for me, old lyrics save the day:
Jesus freaks
Out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back
She just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad.
Thanks Elton! I’ll always be grateful for Tiny Dancer!
Maybe being able to laugh about the absurdity is my path to MEH?
Honestly, that first comment is hilarious. It’s basically, “Doug Weiss takes FULL RESPONSIBILITY for his cheating, that’s why he describes his marriage as being LOST rather than acknowledging that he DESTROYED IT! Don’t you understand how that wimpy, vague language shows his total accountability Chump Lady?!” RAWR! THE OUTRAGE!
I’m getting to the point where I just find them funnier and funnier. “Ooh, you think we should take accountability for our actions?! Ooh, who hurt you little lady? Ooh, you must be bad at sex or bitter, oooooooh.”
It’s so pathetic, it’s hilarious.
He is repellent. She is repellent. Funny how Christianity now is just frosted covered narcissism. I don’t see them down in Appalachia, funding treatment for Dew Mouth. I don’t see them packing up for Yemen, where children are being starved to death. She is curating her fucking Instagram with that sickening photo like it is Holy. That’s spirituality these days. I hope they both choke on it.
SJT- 👏
“Chump Lady with your skewed analysis seems you have some hurts. Sorry. Try a relationship with Jesus.”
How about a relationship with this, Al;
https://images.app.goo.gl/8sTC1ofYeRSyzDQA7
With your moronic commentary on Chump Lady, it seems you have no brains, Al. Sorry. Try learning some grammar and punctuation.
“…seems to have some hurts.” Who– other than a cheater, abuser or rapist– weaponizes someone else’s traumatic experience in order to discredit? I remember Esther Perel trying to do this to CL by insinuating that CL’s personal experience went way beyond the scope of “just cheating” (in fact, CL’s experience was boiler plate as most of us know) in order to invalidate CL’s perspective. I thought it marked Perel as either a particularly vicious shill or a psychopath.
Is there a difference? In any event, I associate the tactic with rape culture. I’ll always be grateful to a dear friend I met in college for warning about that method of meat market negging and mindf*ckery. She said that, unless you know someone really well, it’s not a good idea to open up about having any kind of past traumatic experience (which pretty much applies to every woman ever born) or slightly imperfect FOO issues (applies to most homo sapiens) because of the danger that someone will use the information as a means of taking control. I was pretty naive and needed the heads up. I was going into a creative field and probably thought talking about life’s complexities made me more “interesting” and “arty” but she was so right about the danger of it. It’s as if the post-Oprah 90’s era where everyone seemed to be outdoing each other in blurting their deepest fears and traumas supplied predators with a novel opportunity for coercive control and, like viruses, every creep adapted and adopted the tactic.
Let me correct Doug and Joni a bit, from my own Christian point of view:
If someone s cheating or into pornography because their spouse needs to “up their sex game,” the fault still lies with only the cheater. The Bible instructs that a married couple are not to withhold sex from each other, (except when agreed upon and only for a limited amount of time), but the Bible quite purposefully does not give instruction on how often sex is to take place any more than it instructs on positions or naughty lingerie. If there isn’t enough we going on for one partner, it’s up to that partner (the one not getting enough sex) to figure out why and up their game, perhaps making it more desirable for the other spouse to actually want it. OR…and here’s a good idea… to rein themself in. Question their own desires, their timing, their expectations. In other words, just get real. I will believe a Christian marriage counselor when he/she admonishes the sexually starved spouse to figure some things out.
Unless Doug Weiss’ wife committed adultery, he is not actually free to remarry. According to the Bible, doing so will actually make Joni Lamb an adulteress., and Joni Lamb knows this. Perhaps she is conveniently ignoring that fact? I’m pretty sure Jesus did not live and die so that people who are famous for embracing Him can go ahead an sin with impunity.
This will come back on them both. Count on it.
Lastly, as a Christian I want to stress that Christians are definitely not perfect, we sin, we fall short a thousand ways every day, and sometimes we truly screw things up. True Christianity — the actual following of Christ — involves humility that is almost always incompatible with celebrityhood. (I keep waiting for Joel Osteen to spontaneously combust onstage. Fingers crossed!). A genuine Christian counselor would never advise someone to “up their sex game” precisely because that’s only between a husband and wife, every couple is different, and cheating is never justified. Joni Lamb needs to cool her jets super quick, and Doug Weiss needs to slither back into the bushes. This sort of thing is an embarrassment.
I just realized that Al is a beat poet;
snapping fingers
Chump Lady!
Listen to Doug’s material
Material, material
And I wanna be
A material girl
He completely blames the guy
Or woman who cheats
Meets, cheats
My brother Pete’s cleats
He constantly teaches
The Passion of the Christ
Understanding the wounded
Wounded spouse bird
Why did you fly
Little spouse bird?
For want of a nail
Doug’s marriage was lost
You lost me, it’s costly
Did Dougie see a prostie?
Chump Lady!
With your skewed analysis
Seems you have some hurts
Sorry
Try a relationship with Jesus
Try a relation
Ship of fools
Sorry
Yeah.
Jesus cheaters are the next level up from plain Jane vanilla cheaters.
They hide behind the 10 commandment slabs with their ‘holier than thou’ crusadic stance, meanwhile doing the most damage they possibly can get away with to Jesus’ actual loving teachings. It’s pretty dark.
Reminds me a bit of the perverted clergy out there, who have used the camouflage of their collars to rape innocent young boys in droves.Too bad there isn’t a way to expose these religious cheating blogger predators that seem as destructive as heroin rings to the foundation of humanity, wearing their “Jesus loves me” lapel pins to grease their agendas. It’s just criminal. How do they believe their own crap is an utter mystery.
It’s depressing it’s even an issue at all to contend with, but it just seems to flourish so deeply in our societies, continually harming people through the guise of Jesus’ love and blessings, or whoever the god of worship happens to be in one’s lives.
It’s literally the exact opposite of any god of love’s teachings.
Crucifying homosexuals from their “godly” elevated platforms is one of the biggest flying red flags of proof that they are truly the farthest you can possibly get from any God of love’s messages.
At least a hopeful thought to clutch tightly is that not everyone on the planet falls for their destructive hypocrisies. They get called out over and over, but it seems not before they’ve probably caused some great harms to people.Hopefully when the final tallies of life are all called in, the good will prove to outweigh the bad.
Some days it’s just harder to believe that will be the case.
Sorry I got confused and thought that troll was AI generated, not a troll called Al. I’m glad I read on.
Jesus cheaters are funny in that they think everyone else who’s godly is too naive to see their game and just assumes the best possible scenario that they present is true.
Hmmmm…. I can totally $ee why Doug “wuuvvv$$$” Joni alright. 🤑
Get a PRENUP, Joni! Or better yet, RUN girl!
FW married his married Jesus cheater less than 1yr post divorce. Granted, she was one of MANY, as he was one of MANY on her side too.
I don’t do religious hypocrisy and FW knows that. This is so weird for the kids, who are young adults now.
A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction……….” (Galatians 6:7–9).
OK, let’s confess that I had simply no idea what part of the bible that was in and had to look it up and was slightly worried I might think it’s from the bible but it was some Jesse J lyrics.
I am not in the Jesus appreciating league myself but the sheer gall of these folk to do exactly what they almost certainly don’t preach.
Joni, we’ll see you here in two years when you figure out you didn’t marry a godly man.
In the meantime, here is a recording of FW Lori Vallow speaking with her normal sister, who is distraught because she’s just learned that Vallow slaughtered her two children and threw their bodies away like garbage. This conversation really struck me, because it is the best example I’ve ever heard of a narcissist/normal person argument. In this case, the heatbroken sister tries to explain to the narcissist that killing your kids is not OK. The terrifying indifference of the narcissist to anything beyond themselves is on full display. I’ll bet almost everyone here has had at least one of these explaining-the-world conversations with their FW.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-SEGXFI5Ug&t=1s
While sex addiction is not in the DSM-5, you know what is? Anorexia. What do we think Dr. Doug would say to a chump with an eating disorder?
Just spitballing (calm down, Al), but I wonder about the level of conscientiousness in a therapist who trademarks the term “Intimacy Anorexia.” Would he call someone a Sexual Schizophrenic, or would that be in poor taste?
Also curious: Is the porn polygraph as sexy as it sounds? Perhaps the UBT could do an interview?
Yikes, Al. Yikes.
This appears to be the opposite of a match made in heaven…
Thank you for calling out Mr Weiss and his hypocrisy. So many of these “sex addiction” therapists were cheaters themselves originally. But now, they find themselves enough religion to shame the cheater’s spouse and collect plenty of money along the way. They say how we aren’t sexy enough or spiritual enough to keep our cheater’s pants from falling down from around his ankles at every opportunity.
Oh boy. Somehow I missed your Feb snark. Will stop there next. Ok, so I have some quasi inside scoop. You might remember I used Dr. Doug’s workshop to force my husbands hand. He didnt go, and filed divorce, so I guess in the end I got to not be the big meanie. I did want him to go. I did want to save my marriage, I did want him to feel remorse. I am wiser now. Doug provides a mechanism for those that are willing to settle for that transactional quid pro quo. Indeed, Al is correct about one thing, the focus is all in the “bad” spouse. They are the ones that tend to be Intimacy Anorexics (aka Assholes) they withhold sex among other reasons to control their spouses. This is a real thing and goes with Sex Addicts at the same time quite often supposedly. They ARE there to support the spouse and put all of the blame on the cheater. There is even a book called Worthy, that is supposed to make chump realize why they settle for so little. In the end, I ended up spending my deposit to attend a self recovery workshop there with one of the counselors. There was very little emphasis on religion at all. I spent my time doing EMDR, beating the shit out of a piece of foam, and chair therapy. It was very helpful. They also have $25/hour phone counseling which helped me in the throws of my divorce. Not trying to promote a cheater, but Lisa I think owns half of this business too, and its not all marriage saving workshops. For better or worse it is probably now doomed. I guess that is a risk you take when you marry an admitted sex addict-but maybe she found out about that later. I vote Lisa and Tracy should team up and try to figure out how to take the good parts of this business and make it a win. I credit my experience there and this blog among the mental health tools that helped me continue to get up every day.
lol, Godly En”GAG”ment – freudian slip in the title.