Hashtags for #Cheaters

hashtagdoucheSo your fun Friday challenge today is to come up with hashtags for cheaters. #soeasy Create a brief infidelity scenario, and then snark using hashtags.

Here’s a couple examples.

She says, “I’m sorry if you feel hurt, but Bob is a good person. He’s a lot like you! Only, like, younger and better hung.” #feeltheremorse #Idontfuckmarriedwomen #bobsucks

He says, “You drove me to it!” #driveoffacliff #superpowers

Cheater is “undecided” between you and Schmoopie. Needs more time to think, but meanwhile could you keep paying the mortgage and raising the children? #cake #divorcepapers #Idecide

Your turn! TGIF!

 

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nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago

I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

(have been walking backwards ever since)

Roaring
Roaring
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Hahaha. Be careful with small earth tremors.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Roaring

“Small earth tremors”……..(sniff……memories) Hahahahaha!

Maree
Maree
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

nomoreskankboy says

I ask, “WHY?” He responded, “It just happened.” #mydickfallsoutofmypants, #tripsintostrangepussy

My ex’s said the exact same thing,
#Ihaveapenisthesizeofabeesdick,
#justlovemesomeAsianpussy,
#pussysmorgousboardyum,
#myerectiledysfuntionhasimprovedwiththehelpofaprostit-tot

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Maree

A BEE’S DICK? Is that what stings me? I feel sooooo used.

Maree
Maree
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Would you believe that the ex always used that term to describe Asian males penis size. His young chickee babe has traded many, many bee’s dick for the old one !! Lucky her … NOT.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Maree

Hahahahaha, Maree…..may I add #pussysmorgousboardcumnomorewithwasabi

Maree
Maree
7 years ago
Reply to  Maree

My ex said … !

Mag
Mag
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

# Itrippedandmydickfellintovag.

The Ex-orcist
The Ex-orcist
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

?????good one

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 lol. I see a high number of responses on the horizon of this post. I love Fun Fridays!

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Hilarious! My ex “accidentally” ended up making out with my sons music teacher. Odd, nothing like that ever happens when I go to parent-teacher interviews

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Vastra, you must be going to the wrong ones!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

OMG! How does that happen?!

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

THAT is effing hilarious!!!

Kimhopes
Kimhopes
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Ha, ha, ha. Love it.

paula
paula
7 years ago

As I am still doubled over in the early post d-day agony, ex declares “girlfriend and I have discussed it and decided that we will give our respective marriages one more chance. #nothinglike3rdparty#inmymarriage#making decisions

Anita
Anita
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

Paula, the girlfriend was probably about to get kicked out, which she didn’t want. ##idon’twantadivorce,juststrangedick

paula
paula
7 years ago
Reply to  Anita

Bingo! #predictablecheatingbehavior#neverwaversfromscript

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

#backupplan

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
7 years ago

#cheaterhandbookpage7

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

#whosmakingdecisionsaboutmymarriage #me

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

Only you can make those decisions, don’t let anyone else make those decisions for you.
#bemightyforyourself

Forever Tabooed
Forever Tabooed
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

#fucktard #marriagesAreAboutEveryoneButYou

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

#shoveitupyourasses

This Chump medicated for your protection
This Chump medicated for your protection
7 years ago

“I lied to you because he was your best friend and I didn’t want to mess that up.”

#shitstooclosetothehouse

just another chump
just another chump
7 years ago

#don’tshitinthekitchen

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago

#becausefuckinghimwouldnt
#messthingsup
#youfindingoutistheproblem

Lyn
Lyn
7 years ago

Hilarious, This Chump! Not the situation, just the absurdity of it. LOL

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

You didn’t need to get STD tested from my colleague! The prostitutes were clean and we used condoms.
#notacrediblediagnosis
#theregoesyourreputation

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

“We used condoms”…..oh that shit works……Just as my son, the condom that broke baby!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

#condomswork100%ofthetimejustasknomoreskankboy

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

ROTFLMRO!!!

You are a HOOT! You are on a roll today! That’s the cheater-free spirit!

CybeHugs, nmsb!

Love Ya!! as we both ForgeOn!!!!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  ForgeOn!

Hugs, ForgeOne!!!!! Love ya, too!

nomar
nomar
7 years ago

Cheater tells me if I knew OM I’d like him because he’s a lot like me and a really good person. #Udontknowme #gooddoesntcheat #umno

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
7 years ago
Reply to  nomar

My Switzerland MIL emailed me after meeting XH & AP at a family thing and said, “I think you would have liked under, under different circumstances.” #thesearentdifferentcircumstances

Beth
Beth
7 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

My ex MIL didn’t like me. I didn’t wear enough make up or dress up enough to make her happy. I wonder what she tells herself now that my ex is living with a stripper/fluffer who wears enough makeup and sequins for six women? I bet the ol’ bag hasn’t seen pictures of the flame tattoos shooting out of the GF’s vag. She’ll love that one. #classy Hey ex MIL: #becarefulwhatyouwishfor #guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Beth

“#guesswhoscaringforyouwhenyou’resick?”……Flaming Vagina, Toasted Twat, Fire In The Hole, that’s who!!

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

NWBiblio, my response would have been “I doubt it, my mom taught me not to associate with home wrecking whores, I hope I’ll be better at teaching that lesson to my kids than you’ve had with your son.”

#get_yours_at_Values-R-Us

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

Love it!

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
7 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

#idontplaywithherkind #ihaveanoskankrule #thecompanyyoukeep #thxbutnothx

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

#idiotMIL

Buddy
Buddy
7 years ago

#someshouldnotbreed
#badapplenotfarfromtree
#sometimesbettertonotsayanything

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
7 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Haha Buddy, yes! #sometimesbettertonotsayanything

KibbleFree_MightyMe
KibbleFree_MightyMe
7 years ago

I so wish you had said to her, “I might have like YOU under different circumstances. Douche.”

Sorry NWB.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Or maybe not. Under any circumstances.

Forever Tabooed
Forever Tabooed
7 years ago

38 weeks pregnant, recently married, and living in the home I purchased…just to find out from the doctor that I’ve contracted herpes. His response? “I don’t know what happened. Maybe I had it and didn’t realize it.” #HerpesDoesntTransferItself #LiesToSomeoneWithBiologyDegree #CaughtMoreThanAClue #TrappedByVirusNotLove #CheaterOfTheYear #ItDoesntMatterBecauseWellBeTegetherForever #ImSorry (for being caught) #29YearsOfCleanToBeForeverMarkedByThenHusband #CheatersSayANYTHINGtoAvoidResponosibility

getting real
getting real
7 years ago

Jesus. Sorry to hear that. That fucktard douchebag just endangered you and your baby.

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

#suebothofthem

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

O. M. F. G. #completeandutterdouchebag

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago

FT… damn… Suckfest . Birth the baby and reflect back on what he did and said ask #KNOWTHATHESUCKSMONKEYBALLS!!!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

You have a biology degree and he tried that? #forgotallabouthealthclass

had-it
had-it
7 years ago

Anytime I asked a question he couldn’t lie around Id get “you wouldn’t understand”
#causeimnotanasshole #1800iunderstand #helloattorney

After 36 years of marriage (and one other affair that I KNEW of) at least he had the decency to say (to my face) “none of this is your fault”
#gotthatright #imouttahere #notdoingthatshitagain #eatshitanddie

And now that he (58) and his slut girl friend (30), opps, new wife, are expecting a baby girl….
#daughterwillbeyoungerthanourgranddaughter #wifeyoungerthanourson #youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook
#poorchilddoesntstandachance

#TRUSTTHEYSUCK

Smart is Hard
Smart is Hard
7 years ago
Reply to  had-it

Upon finding out the latest, random other person was a guy – “was it better or just different?”…”I’ll be damned if I tell you.” #don’ttalkwithyourmouthfull,Buster, #usedentalflossnexttime, #youAREdamnedalready, #dryupanddropdead, #buhbye

AmIFinallyDone
AmIFinallyDone
7 years ago
Reply to  Smart is Hard

#AnyPortInAStorm

AlohaFreedom
AlohaFreedom
7 years ago
Reply to  AmIFinallyDone

HahahahahahahH I just can’t stop laughing.

jumper
jumper
7 years ago
Reply to  AmIFinallyDone

LOL

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  AmIFinallyDone

Lol

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Smart is Hard

#thestrangeisuspect
#hewasdoingeverythingelse
#butiwontask

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  had-it

Mine goes right here. What 28 year old meets a married man turning 60 who has kids and thinks, “Excellent dating material!”?

He said it was just easier with her.

#robbingthecradle #datingmyemotionalage #nothingincommon #shouldvejustboughtasportscar #grandpaboyfriend #immapervert #nothatsnotmydaughterdammit #wheredidmymoneygo

getting real
getting real
7 years ago

Yeah. Life is a breeze without the responsibilities we committed too. He can go fuck himself.

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
7 years ago

I offered to buy XH a sportscar (before I found out about AP), to ease his midlife crisis — it was SORT of a joke, but boy did he get mad about the “midlife crisis” comment!

#TooCloseToHome? #TruthHurts

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

#themanywaystoearnyourA

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Your hashtags are awesome, neverwouldhaveimagined!! My then-H dating 34 years younger with gradwhore could have added #predatoryprofessor #haveasportscarneedayoungpussy #nowI’llstartwearingDieseljeans #noneoftheotherstudentsknow.right

just another chump
just another chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

#EasyA

happily never after
happily never after
7 years ago

#graduatedmagnacum

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Lol, Happily!! Well-played!

dixie chump
dixie chump
7 years ago

#golddigger

Tania Rochelle
Tania Rochelle
7 years ago
Reply to  had-it

#ioverstand

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Tania Rochelle

Certified Sex Addiction Therapy Model (CSAT):
#allaboutthecheater
#anothermindfuck
#butyourmarriagecan
bebetterthanever
#yourecrazytoo

Geode
Geode
7 years ago
Reply to  Geode

And that I overstand.

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago
Reply to  Tania Rochelle

Agh, that’s exactly it! It’s not that we don’t understand, it’s that we OVERstand!!! And when we overstand, we get the hell out! Brilliant, brilliant ….

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
7 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Overstand – this is priceless!

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Overstand … True that

Meg
Meg
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Yep. Good new word. Plan to use it all day, every day. I overstand. #lookingforwordstoexpresshowifeel.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  had-it

“#youlooklikeapedophileonfacebook” Ain’t that the truth!!! Old guys with young wife with a baby. Nothing creepier than that!

JeanM
JeanM
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Indeed, my 53 and scumbalina 23 almost 24, just had a baby! Creepy and bizarre!
#areyoubabiesgrandfather
#isscumbalinayourdaughtet
Mmhhmm, we have two grandchildren, 4 and 2 1/2!
#whatthefuckdoyoucallthing

JeanM
JeanM
7 years ago
Reply to  JeanM

Exhole, 53 lol
#grandfatherdaddyfreak

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

#heISapedophilemostlikely!

mickeyblueeyes
mickeyblueeyes
7 years ago

Me too Nomar, me too…

“He’s a nice decent bloke, you’d probably get on with him”

#NOIFUCKINGWOULDNT!
#ImALoverNotACheater
#DecentEnoughToBreakUpAFamily

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  mickeyblueeyes

#bitchwhycuzyouvebeengettingonwithhim#nothreesomeshere

Digbert
Digbert
7 years ago

I am so sorry for what I have said and done, I disrespected you and I regret not speaking to you before I fucked up! I suppose the reason I didn’t discuss it with you beforehand was because …… well… it wouldn’t have made any difference ……..#Icouldn’tgiveafuckaboutmyspouse#notworthy#whybother?#devalued#zerotalking

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

Damn, I hear that one loud and clear. #nohashtag

AmIFinallyDone
AmIFinallyDone
7 years ago

He says there is nothing left in our 24 year marriage. “We have nothing ” left. The wench “is everything to me, I never knew I could feel love like this.”
#SheStrapsOnTheDildoForMe
#SheUnderstandsMyBisexuslity
#IStillWon’tCommitToHerOrLeaveHome
#Don’tTellMyMotherOrTheKids
#IsThereDinnerForMe?
#CanWeStillHaveCake
#NC
#PutTheMeInMeh

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  AmIFinallyDone

#itiswhatitis
#theneveryoneshoukdknow

Digbert
Digbert
7 years ago

Ooh …. It missed out #notworthy……. Apologies ?

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago

He told me a week after D’day that it was not just same sex porn he was into but he had 8 years earlier had an affair with a man and during the eight years since had intermittently engaged with others.
#closeted.

5 months after D’day with no remorse or anything attempt to take responsibility for his actions or the effects his actions had caused, I asked why he had done this.
His response “you probably won’t believe this but six weeks ago I was delivered from an unclean sexual spirit”
#superspiro #anyexcusewilldo

Nearly 3 years on and he still thinks it’s my job to preempt what he wants regarding our kids and just keep an open diary to prevent having anything on that might clash with his plans. Often gives less than 24 hours notice of what he wants but when I refuse to just give in accuses me of trying to disrupt his long term plan.
#inolongerbendtonarctactics

CeliA
CeliA
7 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Narc tactics! Haha great word! :DD

#creepyaf

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago

Husband finally announces he’s leaving, but he’s too busy fucking OW to pack his stuff so he asks his shell-shocked chump wife to do it. She says no so he ends up leaving huge amounts of junk including custom-made golf clubs and his fancy road bike in garage. A few weeks later, chump remembers the reaction of Tiger Woods’ wife & and connects clubs and the bike #midlifecrisisboystoys #notusuallyviolent # godthatfeltgood

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Hello Craigslist. Sell his shit and treat yourself to a spa weekend.

ohthisagain
ohthisagain
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Ahh memories

I had a #deerantler moment. It felt good.

Option #2 was #bleachingallofyourfuckingclothes so I guess it could’ve been worse for him. #subduedrage

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago
Reply to  ohthisagain

I love this cathartic thread! Option 2 for me was soaking all his underpants in the unbearably hot chillis from our garden (I didn’t do it).
#genitalsonfire

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

#ispitinyourshoeseverydayuntilyoumovedout

Not easy to do at 6:00 am when your family is falling apart. But I somehow managed ?

Sunshine
Sunshine
7 years ago
Reply to  Sunshine

#ispitinyourshoes
#everyday
#untilyoumovedout

Santafewombat
Santafewombat
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Why do they have to always have custom made golf clubs? My cheater too! Yep he left his behind in garage! Somewhere in town someone is enjoying a nice set of clubs and nice custom made suits cheater HAD to have. Of course he HAD to have his OW! I’m seeing a pattern!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Santafewombat

Give one club to each thrift store and send him the receipts in the bag. 😉

paula
paula
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

This makes me unspeakably happy! #takingkarma#intoyourownhands

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago
Reply to  paula

Less violent but equally satisfying was refusing his red-faced enraged demand I pay $5000 to replace the mangled bike.
#youdeservedit

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Vastra, did you yell fore????

Roaring
Roaring
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Vastra, did #bikeandclubs just #growapart?

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago
Reply to  Roaring

Sadly the bike and custom-made clubs had to part ways… along with the boat that ex had to have, but never sailed, and wouldn’t remove from the garage either – until my friend put it on the street. Ex is stuck with the cluster B gold digger wife though.
#materialistic #manchild

Beth
Beth
7 years ago
Reply to  Roaring

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

dealwithit
dealwithit
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

#BWAHAHAHA

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Love it!! #notusuallyviolent <<<< perfect! me neither, but #shit/ragehappens

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

The whore called me a frigid cunt and exclaimed he was the best lover he ever had.

#Fuckingasociopathwitha2inchdick
#itscolderinhell
#NOreturns

She also said he would never cheat on ME.

#howsJoannecherylandsharon
#2ndphone
#codewordsgymservicecallcantcallnow
#cheatsWHILEheswithyou
#likeslittlegirls
#yougotslimed

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

LOL
Sitting on OW’s porch (I was lining up my ducks then), and she calls me barren. I just stared at her and said- that’s someone who can’t have kids, I have three. Get your terms straight! X had told her I went through menopause, and she was kinda dumb.
#OWgeniusinherownmind

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  FreeWoman

Narcs love stupid people. They ask less questions. Which of course happens as they’ve no responsibilities share with the cheater.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  FreeWoman

#notthesharpesttoolintheshed
#what!childsupport?
#thatscalledatrilogyright?

Anita
Anita
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

I’m sorry, what is it with these whores calling the WIVES the c-word? Psychopathic Bitch called me that as well. Guess she is confused on the concept. ##CheaterPickedARealWinnerThere

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Anita

#psychopathicbitchwaslookinginthemirror

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  Anita

#sluntsareclassless

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago

“I feel like I’m finally becoming the person I was always meant to be.”

#alwaysmeanttobeacunt

jumper
jumper
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Good one UX!

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  jumper

Ha!!!

Buddy
Buddy
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

#forthewin!

The Ex-orcist
The Ex-orcist
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

UXworld-????????

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Hilarious UX hilarious! Just remember….
#youweremeanttobecheaterfree

lostntx
lostntx
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

+1

Untold
Untold
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

+101 #freetobeaslunt

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Me to!!

AmIFinallyDone
AmIFinallyDone
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Laughed for a full minute on that

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Hahahahahahahahaahahaahaha!!!!!!!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

lol 🙂

Digbert
Digbert
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

???

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

When I asked him why he needed to go out with Tim Whore-ton Coffee Snatch for drinks until almost 1:30 in the morning. He said, “I wanted to be a good friend (she just got divorced — aka “available”). I’m looking for friendship. I can’t tell whether my friends are male or female. They are sexless to me.”

#Geniusneedstogobacktoschool #biology/humananatomy/healthclass

Kiwichump
Kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

#soIhavetostickmydickintofindout

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Kiwichump

lol, Kiwi. 🙂

FearNot
FearNot
7 years ago

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” #fuckoff

Stephanie
Stephanie
7 years ago
Reply to  FearNot

#idontthinkthatwordmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  FearNot

#wordsalad

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  FearNot

#lovememore #justmeandmymirror #infatuationfeelssogood #whatslovegottodowithit #familyschamily

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  FearNot

#Iminlovewithmyselfmeandonlyme

Marked711
Marked711
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

#ILYBINILWY

Tessie
Tessie
7 years ago
Reply to  Marked711

#greatnowpackyourshit. #getthefuckout

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Marked711

#cantfixstupid

VulcanChump
VulcanChump
7 years ago

“But you see, she really loves me, and you never could.” #iwastryingasshole #shehasnomorals #youwanttheloveofathief

Sketchyokgirl
Sketchyokgirl
7 years ago

In the immortal words of our marriage counselor after I told her I was staying with him #watchyourback

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Sketchyokgirl

#runforyourlife!

Lulu
Lulu
7 years ago

Our marriage was pretty much over anyway.
#Bullshit #NoMemo

Waffles
Waffles
7 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

Guess that line really *is* a classic.

#NewsToMe #ShitSaidToWhoreNotWife #OverForMeNotYou #ImHungryGotCake?

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
7 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

I got the “our marriage was over” line as well. It’s a chapter in the cheater handbook.

#imnotoriginal

gonnbalright
gonnbalright
7 years ago
Reply to  Cheaterssuck

“You never listen to me” is one of the many reasons my ex hooked up with his best friends skank.

#tunedouttodouchebagradio

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  gonnbalright

Yeah, I get that from my H. The you do not listen to me is code speak for you don’t do what I tell you to do without any questions.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

YES!! It is code for “you do not obey me.”

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

Mommy Dearest told Jeffrey Dahmer all his life that he was “perfect and special.” Last time I heard her say this was Thanksgiving 2014. He was 45 years old.

Jeff said to me post Dday, “I think I have PERFECT personality to be in a relationship with.”

#perfectlydelusional

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

#dsmdiagnosispersonality

#notgoodrelationshipmaterialRUN

Blogdramedy
Blogdramedy
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha, my STBX was told since birth that he is “perfect” by his Mother and three older sisters. When he first told me that, I thought he was joking. And he’s turning 65 next week.

It’s true what they say. They get worse the older they get. Lucky us we got off the crazy train.

#perfectlydelusional is now my new #motto *grin*

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Blogdramedy

Blogdramedy, I would never tell either one of my kids they were perfect or special. They are special to me. I love them. But they are not perfect. I like you new #motto. #LOL:)

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Having a sane parent who recognises the risk of unquestioning adoration and constant pressure to be the “winner” should protect our kids I hope
#narcsgetworsewithage

unicornomore
unicornomore
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

#shecreatedanarc

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

#nodoubtaboutit

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

So creepy Martha!!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

“It wasn’t adultery. I knew I was done with our marriage.” #imnotapsychic #thereisthisthingcalleddivorce #shecanhaveyou #godsintervention #stillcannotfinishthedivorcewiththisfucktard

FearNot
FearNot
7 years ago

Oooh, also:
“You don’t love me, you love the concept of me.” #whatthefuckdidyoujustsay? #you’recertifiable

When confronted after a mutual friend saw them on a date, “This (our marriage) is obviously over.” #yathink? #thankscaptainobvious

Blindside
Blindside
7 years ago
Reply to  FearNot

Completely forgot that line, I got a variation of it — “you’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of me.” I mean, WTF??????

#bewildered #baffling

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Blindside

#don’twanttolivewiththeideaofyoueither

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

#tryinghardtoforgettheideaofyou

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

❤️

Anita
Anita
7 years ago
Reply to  Blindside

Mine said I only wanted him cause someone else wanted him. ##delusional

Stephanie
Stephanie
7 years ago
Reply to  Anita

Straight out of the cheater handbook.

nomar
nomar
7 years ago
Reply to  Blindside

#thereisnorealyou

FearNot
FearNot
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Oh, I most certainly did! #sweetfreedom!

Lovey dovey
Lovey dovey
7 years ago

He told me he had to cheat BC after I gave birth my vagina was too big. #yourdickisoneinch. He cheats with a teacher from Arizona last name box. #nailingboxeswithsmallhammer. They are both on multiple marriages. #hittingfootballdigitssoon

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

You never disappoint, Lady! 🙂

nic
nic
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Oh man I’m laughing – the direct report had more kids than I
#throwingastickinadamptunnelscreamssexy
#letsuseadifferentwetholethistime

Lovey dovey
Lovey dovey
7 years ago
Reply to  nic

Lol.

He also told me that stress from living with me caused him to go bald.

#baldpatchgrowing6yearslater

nomar
nomar
7 years ago
Reply to  Lovey dovey

Wow, that’s some superpower you have, LD– The power of depilliation!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  nomar

#humannair

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Human Nair – as in hair removal cream. Absolutely hysterical!

If I had the superpower to remove something from his body, I know what it would be.

Lovey dovey
Lovey dovey
7 years ago
Reply to  Lovey dovey

Oh…and I’m assuming a lot of narcs do this. His 4th wife is Navajo. So now he is “Navajo.”

#youareVietnamese
#manbunsonbaldguysnotcute

Kbchump
Kbchump
7 years ago
Reply to  Lovey dovey

Haha my ex wife is now Hawaiian! #aloha’Oe
#cantmakethisshitup

yo
yo
7 years ago
Reply to  Kbchump

#nolonger ohana.nolonger my problem.
#da.kine.cheating.ho

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Kbchump

#hangloosecheater

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Lovey dovey

Lovey dovey
Lovey dovey
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

That is totally the way he wears it! Lol!!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

#lol

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

HAHAHA….

fyi……NWBiblio needs your help in the “Private: Happy Post-Chump Life” forum….”How to post a photo/graphic”

Sweatpants
Sweatpants
7 years ago

Then husband told me decades younger girlfriend was a good person and going to church to ask forgiveness.
#firststopfuckingmarriedmen, #goddoesn’tlikecheaters, #spendsalotoftimeonherknees

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  Sweatpants

I asked my EX how she could sit next to me (and our children) in church on Sunday for 15 years and be serial cheating. Her explanation was “we were not really involved in the church.” So, there you go.

#wewerejustbenchwarmers

happily never after
happily never after
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

#rulesdontapplytome

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

#Icamefortheorganmusic

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

#shecamfortheORGANalright

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

lol 🙂

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

#justwow

Nyra
Nyra
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

LOL

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  Sweatpants

#GodForgivesDivorceLawyersDon’t

ImWithStupid
ImWithStupid
7 years ago
Reply to  Sweatpants

#bibleisclearonadultery

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Sweatpants

#spendsalotoftimeonherknees <<< lol 🙂

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

Jeff said to me post Dday, “You never took good care of me!”

#rewritinghistory #doitallyourselfnowjerk! #goodluckwiththat #Classifieds:neednewhouseslave

#needanewMartha #didntrealizehowmuchworkshedid #hewillneveradmitthis #fuckoffloser

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Awwww. Poor baby! He needed a mommy and you refused. How dare you??! He’s a fucking twit. Hi back to mama #dicklessspine

ArmchairPsychology
ArmchairPsychology
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

#datingmom

ImWithStupid
ImWithStupid
7 years ago

Stupid divorces me and marries Bitchface a few weeks later on the anniversary of the first time they cheated.
Stupid took new wedding vows on the anniversary of the day he broke old wedding vows.
#wivesaredisposable
#sacredvows
#classywedding

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  ImWithStupid

#soundslikestupidhasbeeneatingpaintchips

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago

ahahahahahah!

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago
Reply to  ImWithStupid

Wow – mine waited a whole 3 weeks too and Jabba explained the apparent haste was because she was a good Catholic girl who valued marriage
#sickirony
#expressticketforpurgatory

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

#pregnantmuch
#idovaluenarriagejustnotyours
#onlyfollowtherulesyoulike

Vastra
Vastra
7 years ago

Nope she desperately wanted a baby but he had a secret vasectomy after he left me – maybe he had a tiny amount of insight into the horror of reproducing with 37 year old OW who needed her mummy to go everywhere with her and take care of her own children
#tinybitofinsight
#redirectyourhealthfundletters

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

I would find it very difficult not to mail that health notice to new wife. Virtually impossible. Oh hell … I would definitely send it!! #noselfcontrol

getting real
getting real
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Yes. Mail the health report. In five years from now. She’ll love it!!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  getting real

5 years from now! LOLOL!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

A secret vasectomy! Wow, that’s a secret you definitely need to share with your new wife.
#familyplanningdone

Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago

After the dust of the two year custody battle settles, and I am awarded sole custody of our daughters, he decides to lecture me about child care responsibilities when my daughter has two cavities.

Umm… five year olds? Get cavities.

Of course, he never took her to the dentist, paid the bill, sat through the sedation of my daughter prior to drilling, bought tooth brushes, made her brush her teeth, OR GAVE A DAMN!

So I felt I needed to remind him that he had all of the legal rights of, say, an uncle… yep, that’s him! Uncle Dad.

#bitchplease
#igotyourlecture
#crawlawaynow
#enjoyyoursupervisedvisitation
#wheresmymoney
#hehasnttextedsince

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago

X said I knew about the affair before he did
#WTF?

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

#soundslikeyourexhasbeenspendingtoomuchtimeunderpowerlines

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

I want in on that hashtag – mine said I planned for him to cheat so I could get more when I divorced him. Huh? I still have no clue when his cheating started or the real number of women there were! I caught him with 1 and found out later there were tons more. Please explain how the hell I planned his cheating??

#WTF?

denvergirl
denvergirl
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

# gluesniffer?

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

#backwardscausation

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

#guiltydickblameshift

Pearshaped
Pearshaped
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Well, obviously you calculated how much money he would have at a certain point, then selected a girl you knew he would like, set up their meeting, and let his weak character do the rest! See?

#blameshifting

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Pearshaped

Hahahahahahaha!

TheMuse
TheMuse
7 years ago

“I tried to stop her, Muse, but she was all over me like a train wreck!”
#you’rethetrainwreck
#karmatraincrashcoming

Asked was he planning to leave me for OW, he said, his original plan was [cake]: “I ran the sharing idea by her but she wouldn’t go for that! so yes”
#sharethisredhotpokerupyourass
#pleasebehisnew#1
#did’ntrunthesharingideabyME

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

Got the same line, he was afraid of hurting her feelings, she was coming on to him so strong (note that she was 23 years old and he was 43)…

#cheatersbackbone=overcookedspaghetti
#mydickdoesthethinking

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
7 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

#TooBadTheTrainDidntKillYou

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

Haha NB!

TheMuse
TheMuse
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

+1

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

#checkyourselfbeforeyouwreckyourself

Blindside
Blindside
7 years ago

Years of denial, crying when confronted, making me feel guilty to even think something’s going on………”He’s a dork, I would never be with him……….I would never do that to you…..I love you…….I can’t believe you would listen to what other people say and not believe me………..”

The last half of my marriage in a nutshell: #GaslightMaster #Oscars

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Blindside

#gasbillispastdue

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago

Brilliant SureChumpedAlot!

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
7 years ago

When the MC asked cheater to say something he loved about me, he replied ‘she’s the most efficient person I know.’

#efficientenoughtodivorceyoursorryass

Lucky
Lucky
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Hahahaha….

My MC says the same thing. X got all red in the face, crossed his arms and looked at his feet.

He finally said in a small voice …

“she’s really good at keeping up with the laundry “

Roaring
Roaring
7 years ago
Reply to  Lucky

#keepinthewhitieintighties

#canimakeyouasammich

What an entitled prick. I hate his guts.

X is a coward also. Just a small man in every conceivable way.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

#documentdocumentdocument

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Prior to our marriage, cheater said the one thing he would never tolerate was cheating. Because he said that, I truly believed he would never cheat on me. Fast forward 24 married years later and I realize he meant he wouldn’t tolerate ME cheating, but it was ok for him to do it.

#gaslightedfromthestart #sicko

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

I too had been very clear before marrying him that I would not tolerate cheating. He had admitted to cheating in the past, and convinced me that he had matured and learned from the fall out of his previous actions.

Fast forward 12 years, I stumble across proof of his adultery (over a year of double life)… He tells me his affair is not important because he is able to compartmentalize his love and that his affair did not feel real to him because she didn’t live in town.

I wired 50% of our assets, moved out, hired a lawyer, and had a custody agreement set up 3 weeks post-DDay. He was as nasty as he could during the divorce proceedings… And post-divorce he is still outraged about my being NC, my signing like a canary about his adultery, and about having to pay alimony and child support.

#compartmentalizethatfucker!

Special snowflake ha!
Special snowflake ha!
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Lol, got the same line. Told me that if I ever thought about cheating to talk to him first. Yeah, always different rules.
#imsorightandsmart
#wifeactuaalythoughtiwashonorable

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Mine said he could forgive anything, including infidelity, at our premarital counseling with the minister. Took me 17 years to figure out that he wanted me to be the one doing the forgiving.

#i’mforgivingbutnotstupid

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
7 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

I fell for that line, too. #needtolistenbetter #nomorespackle #projectingmaster

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

+1. Sigh.

PalmTrees
PalmTrees
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Ditto :/
#chumped