Many alert chumps sent me the story of the Stinnett, Texas police chief Jason Collier, who was arrested this week for allegedly faking an annulment so his Schmoopie would think he was free to marry.
Jason is a married, ordained minister and father of four with a love triangle (rectangle, dodecahedron… I never tire of this joke).
He was outed on social media this week by his now former girlfriend Cecily Steinmetz who discovered he was married and had, oh, another girlfriend he’d also promised to marry. (Update: the body count keeps growing…) She posted on Facebook:
Chief Jason Collier is living a double/triple life. I was his girlfriend until yesterday. He lied to me and presented me with fake annulment documents when I found out he was married. I also found out about a 2nd girlfriend, Kristi, last night. He has lied to us, our children, and asked us both to marry him. He is a poor representative of your town. He would also visit me in Amarillo when he was on shift. We just returned from vacation in Taos on Sunday – meanwhile, his other GF was told he was on work assignment in Portland, OR.
This, of course, is just another typical day at Chump Lady. Jesus cheater with a double life? A sinister minister with a douchetacular dating profile? CN eats these run-of-the-mill sociopaths for breakfast.
But what makes Jason special, aside from amateur forgery, is that his outing went viral and got him arrested. Because while you may fuck around, the good people of Stinnett Texas do draw the line at felony with the intention to defraud. Dude was forced to resign his job.
Almost immediately, Cecily was called “bitter.” Because, of course.
Tina Marie, yes, justice should be meted on entirely on the basis of how much you, Tina Marie, personally “care” for someone. Judges LOVE that shit. Chief U.S. District Judge Beryl A. Howell would kick your ass into next week. Consequences are not “bitterness.” And your gooey feelings about shitty people are utterly beside the point.
Now, back to you, Jason.
A Magnolia hat? Really?
Your chick magnet game is so transparent. Ooh! I’ll wear a hat denoting my brand of evangelical wholesomeness and shiplap consumerism! Next, I’ll write a dating profile denouncing the casual hook-up. No, you, sir, are the kind of gentleman who wants “sincere conversation” and trust building.
You wouldn’t know sincerity if it shit on your Oakley sunglasses, Jason.
You’re a con.
May your chump wife Opal and your many ex-girlfriends find healing, and deep wells of schadenfreude at your sentencing.
Best of luck. I hear people in jail love ex-cops.