Jumbotron Cheater Resigns and the Memes Keep Coming
Astronomer CEO Andy Byron, the Jumbotron cheater, resigns…. and the memes keep coming. Has the narrative finally shifted?
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The comeuppance of a couple of corporate cheaters caught on a Jumbotron has really struck a cultural nerve, judging purely by the prodigious amount of memes.
Could it be at last that chump sympathy is in and cheater chic is out?
Have we all had enough of entitled fuckwits and their shenanigans? Are we feeling validated that they KNOW THEY ARE WRONG, because you can’t gaslight a Jumbotron? Cowering under a bleacher seat doesn’t exactly convey innocence.
Paging Esther Perel! The quest for aliveness experiment has gone horribly wrong. One minute Andy’s getting happy and handsy with his subordinate, the next, he’s resigning from his job. “Exuberant acts of defiance” sure look pretty mortifying. I thought it was just square ol’ me who thought cheating on your spouse is a bad look, but apparently a bazillion people on the Interwebs agree.
Oh! Including the Board of Directors at Astronomer who may or may not have shitcanned Andy Byron. I’m sure it’s a total coincidence that he resigned.
Astronomer gave this mealy-mouthed statement on X.
As stated previously, Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding. Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met. Andy Byron has tendered his resignation, and the Board of Directors has accepted. The Board will begin a search for our next Chief Executive as Cofounder and Chief Product Officer Pete DeJoy continues to serve as interim CEO. Before this week, we were known as a pioneer in the DataOps space, helping data teams power everything from modern analytics to production AI. While awareness of our company may have changed overnight, our product and our work for our customers have not. We’re continuing to do what we do best: helping our customers with their toughest data and AI problems.
Nothing says ‘standards’ like passive voice sentence construction.
The Universal Bullshit Translator had nothing better to do today than parse corporate HR speak. So here goes.
As stated previously, Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding. Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met.
Blame the standards. Who didn’t meet them? You’ll have to depose me for the answer.
Andy Byron has tendered his resignation, and the Board of Directors has accepted.
I have no idea why Andy Byron has tendered his resignation, cupping it gently under its breasts and pumping it from behind until rudely interrupted by a 65,000-square-foot-live-Jumbotron video display.
He resigned. Draw no conclusions.
The Board will begin a search for our next Chief Executive as Cofounder and Chief Product Officer Pete DeJoy continues to serve as interim CEO.
Keep it in your pants, Pete.
Before this week, we were known as a pioneer in the DataOps space, helping data teams power everything from modern analytics to production AI.
Now we’re known as the place where two doofuses had a workplace affair and got busted on a Jumbotron. #allpublicity
While awareness of our company may have changed overnight, our product and our work for our customers have not.
We’ve rebranded.
“Astronomer. Here’s looking at you!” (from the lens of a Jumbotron)
“We put the ass in astronomer.”
“Astronomer! We’d like to feel up your astral body.”
We’re continuing to do what we do best: helping our customers with their toughest data and AI problems.
We’re continuing to pretend this shit-show never happened.
Where are the memes, Tracy? I was promised memes!
OMG the memes.
My favorite is the one imploring people to visit Gaylord, Michigan and be unbothered by notoriety. Gaylord is chiefly known for being nearly wiped off the face of the earth by a tornado in 2022. You can flatten it, but you cannot kill the snark spirit.
But I think the Phillies might win it.
One small bit of sanity and respect. Ill take it. It soothes my heart pain. For five years I’ve mostly heard, “So what? Get over yourself. It happens to everyone. What did you do to cause it?”
Same, tallgrass. Same.
I don’t think it’s a cultural shift, though. I think it’s more of a point at the entitled, rich people and feel vaguely superior, briefly, because either a) not currently cheating b) not (currently aware of) being cheated on or c) look at the dumb, rich people who just blew up their families’ lives. Gosh, we’re so much better than them. A bit of smugness over those who are seen as far more privileged.
I wish it was actual empathy for chumps that was driving this moment.
Sadly, I believe you’re right. I think it’s a reflection of what’s going on in our society right now.
I think you’re right – it’s more a schadenfreude at how ‘the mighty have fallen’ rather than compassion based empathy for the Chumps (because the Chumps aren’t the central figures in the optics of all this).
However the very fact that these FW’s are deemed foolish and not glamourous or aspirational is a step in the right direction.
I think people are also delighting in the frisson of the huge disjunct between how this pair obviously see themselves (sexy, charmed, magical and gifted) with how they actually are (balding, stocky, beetroot faced and a bit nerdy). It’s that gap I think that gives this whole event its’ deliciousness. It’s all in the visuals…
“However the very fact that these FW’s are deemed foolish and not glamourous or aspirational is a step in the right direction.”
THIS! It is only a small step in the right direction, not a huge leap, but it’s still progress.
I also have seen a lot of comments about the kids, people acknowledging that this is bad for them, and that’s progress as well vs “oh chump jsut get over it and let your kids think it is fine for their sake”
The poor kids. What a way to find out your dad is cheating.
I sincerely hope you have excised those morons from your life
Ever notice how people with dirty hands are more likely to aggressively pipe in on the subject than gormless normies who tend to shy away from heated issues?
Just fyi HOAC. She Who Shall Not be Named Lest We Promote Her Product just launched her Masterclass on relationships 🫣🤣😂
It’s tapping into something. I really hope this is a Zeitgeisty moment.
At the very least it’s clear that nobody is aspiring to be like these clowns.
They’re not admirable in the popular culture space. The Jumbotron has visually shown what cheaters are with its own X-ray truth. Not superior, not sexy. Just red faced, creepy and cowardly. It’s shown them on the outside as they are on the inside- ridiculous. And given the hurt they cause, I’m so, so glad that they’re seen this way.
Yes this was REAL in a way romanticized affairs in movies and on TV is not. I hope members OF CN are posting links to this blog everywhere
The memes are BRILLIANT and so accurate. What I feel is that those “exuberant acts of defiance” have morphed into what they really are– shameful acts of betrayal and duplicity and we’re finally done placating the liars and cheaters of this world. Somebody on Twitter (never X) asked why people are so meanspirited to cackle at this “unfortunate” outing of a pair of cheaters and I responded “Maybe because there are other victims of infidelity that relate to the sort of schadefreude here that they didn’t get in their situation.” It’s another narcissistic spouse who doesn’t care who he hurts as long as he’s “happy” and following his “bliss.
As the other thread has shown, if the cheating goes together with sexual favoritism at the workplace, there are usually even more victims / casualties even beyond spouses and families. In my experience, these additional victims are often subjected to victim-blaming, ridicule and downplaying as well. I have been affected by this myself, but I have met other people who, under similar circumstances, had it even worse in terms of career damage and psychological harm. Maybe this is another reason why this blew up so much.
Count me among those who have been harmed by workplace affairs. (Yes, plural.) I also think it’s a flashpoint because everyone knows that HR won’t base its actions on ethics. Her behavior harmed her whole profession, because it reinforces the lack of trust.
A friend of mine got fired — fired! — three days after filing a sexual harassment complaint with HR. The perpetrator of the harassment? The CIO.
Apologies to CN members who work as HR pros. I speak of my own past experiences only. #notallHR
This bottle blonde HR OW is straight out of central casting for the stereotypical corporate HR airhead whore
Chump Lady can post about this all week – I can’t get enough. The humor and the sarcasm and the memes (what Tracy has provided for years) is healing and cathartic. Mel Brooks said when people were upset about his “Springtime for Hitler” song, that laughter and ridicule are more effective. “Listen, get on a soapbox with Hitler, you’re going to lose. He’s a great orator. But if you can make fun of him, if you can have people laugh at him, you win.” Not to downplay the hurt that cheaters cause – but it is SO good to laugh.
My new favorite word is jumbotronned.
“Coldplayed” is also great addition to the language.
Humor and mockery are very respected tactics in nonviolent resistance. It’s even recommended in the nonviolent resistance “bible” by Gene Sharp, was used by OTPOR in successfully taking down Milosevic and by Arab Spring activists.
Also researchers found that POWs who engaged in gallows humor tended to have better chances of survival.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.” Oscar Wilde
Alternatively, tell the truth, make them laugh, and have your #1 rated late show cancelled for political/financial expediency.
The HR lady just bought a house with her new husband five months ago. I will never understand how cheaters think.
I love the “coldplay’d” one — plus the Phillies of course.
Maybe she was hoping the house would make him stay around because of the sunk cost fallacy (more cake for her).
OMG so gross. Or they think they’ll never be caught. Seriously – just gonna get away with this -no problem!
I think it’s typical FW future faking
My ex tried that with me. We were having some repair work done in the kitchen and he suggested we take out a loan and redo the whole thing. I knew it would be harder for me to leave if we had to sort out a loan in the finances, and said no.
As a philly native, the Phanatic is one of the few mascots that can really pull this off. Someone like Mr. Met would just look like an asshole.
I’ll say it again: You wanted to get fucked? Guess what – yer fucked.
I read that the current acting CEO and founder of Astronomer “liked” a Tweet in which a former CEO poked fun of Byron so it’s possible approval for office bonkies may not be that high at the company.
And public approval for cheating may never have been as high as the mainstream media and the loudest online trolls pretend either. According to Gallup polls over the past decade or so which polled the public’s attitude towards 19 controversies like human cloning, gay marriage and abortion, infidelity dropped to dead last and remains below abortion as the “most unacceptable.” Meanwhile, approval for things like gay marriage and single parenting has risen sharply in the same time period showing that the increasing prohibitions against cheating likely aren’t a measure of increasing religious puritanism in the US.
In other words, the pro-cheating spin is just corporate media wag-the-dog bs and not a true measure of public views. I suspect it’s even an attempt to forcibly “correct” public prohibitions against infidelity, driven mostly by creepy media owners and editors as oblique backlash against #MeToo (because, shucks, they can’t outright defend rape) and the fact that most media is now heavily invested in the porn behemoth, an industry which depends on cheating mentality for market growth.
I think we’re all enjoying seeing cheaters exposed so very publicly. I found my friends didn’t want to believe that my ex was cheating at first. It would have been lovely to see it plastered all over the internet.
As a side note, why isn’t anyone talking about Kristin Cabot’s awful grey roots?? (I just have to snark!)
Whilst I hear you, Tiggerly – and she deserves every bit of our snark, wrath, and grey shaming – I also wonder how this whole scenario would have played out should the AP have been a young, beautiful, single woman?
I think there is more snark about this affair than if he had apparently “upgraded” physically. Call me jaded…
I hate this moment so much. So much attention and apparent offense taken.
When my moment happened, after 31 years of love and loyalty, I was blamed, shamed and too many Switzerland friends and flying monkeys popped out of our so-called friendship circles. It’s easy to be offended by a stranger’s lying and cheating, when you don’t know the “great guy” he apparently is..🤮🤮🤮
Why isn’t the head of HR also getting fired/resigning? Seems to me a head of HR who engages in a workplace affair with her boss has demonstrated the kind of hypocrisy that would disqualify her from her position.
This scandal hits cultural buttons other than cheating, too: a rich CEO being taken down in public, the head of HR shown up as a hypocrite.
Hate to say it, though, that even though plenty of people are enjoying this public shaming, I wouldn’t conclude that all those those enjoying the public unmasking are against affairs. I’ll bet some of them just think the two of them are stupid to get caught.
Read the comments on media. Cheating apologists are getting trounced by slews of point-by-point essays.
She resigned or something.
I hadn’t seen that. Good to know!
Justice. 🙂
Phillies definitely win the best meme! Love it so much!
I read a lot of posts (can’t help googling “Andy Byron” a lot) and there has been much criticism that he was allowed to resign and how firing him was more appropriate.
Those posts make me feel even better than the original Coldplay video! Waiting for the side piece and the assistant to be fired as well. Then I will feel a true measure of satisfaction.
My ex and the coworker/whore never got fired or had to face workplace consequences. Those coworkers who facilitated their affair never faced consequences either. Lovely.
The only satisfaction was my divorce settlement and knowing that my kids knew every single detail of the cheating. They were old enough and he had lied to them also; they also knew her. Lovely.
It’s definitely been rewarding to follow the fallout facing these Astronomer entitled idiots. As the woman who first posted the Coldplay video “play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.
Alyssa Stoddard is reportedly the “bestie” in the video, a VP at Astronomer who was reportedly promoted by Cabot four times which suggests she might have followed Cabot from firm to firm.
The company denies that it’s Stoddard but internet sleuths compared photos and they look like dead ringers. In any case, Cabot seems like quite the calculating climber who brings along flying monkey henchmen as she bonks her way up social and corporate ladders. She even married a Cabot. I don’t know if her STBX is descends from the founding Cabots or from a “Swamp Yankee” faction (great term Sarah Manguso used in Liars) but the name alone screams Boston Brahmin:
Here’s to the town of Boston
The land of the bean and the cod
Where the Lowells speak only to Cabots
And the Cabots speak only to God
She’s indeed married into the Boston Brahmin branch but not very long ago not the original wife. My theory is she’s an OWIFE who then cheats on the FW with another FW
FW is a serial cheater and now I realize that at least one was some HR ho at a very public tech company. I would have loved it if he was exposed back then
Resign vs fired may have something to do with how his contract was worded, or state law on firing. One may have had all kinds of benefits attached. I do know that there are a lot of boxes that need to be ticked to fire somebody in MA, so the company was just avoiding a lawsuit.
After all, what says twu wuv more than crawling under your seat? Or covering your face? Most of the chatter (memes, joke) I’ve seen have been about Mr CEO cheater boy & how much money his wife should get in a divorce (lots). But Ms HR cheater gal just bought a $2.2 million dollar house with her newish partner/spouse. That’s gonna be a delight to untangle. What kind of bets can I get that she cheated of previous husband with expensive house spouse?
That was my theory exactly upon seeing photos and articles about Kristin Cabot and the older wealthy hubby she married not too long ago. Seems like a serial cheater mate poacher who climbed the corporate ladder by laying on her back
Whores cost money one way or the other, just ask any wealthy guy.
It would not surprise me if she filed a lawsuit claiming coercion, and you know what; I hope she does. When companies start paying out millions for this shit, they might learn a lesson. He is cofounder of the company from what I read, so he will still get millions, he should lose a lot of it to the whore.
My favorite:
“Coldplay just released two singles.”
My favourite too 🤣
HAHAHAHA
Phillies for the win!!!
And is it just me, or is this every chump’s ultimate fantasy? I’m a private person and would never want my kid to go through this public humiliation, but it’s sure fun to picture the horror and repercussions my super sneaky gaslighter stbx would have suffered!
Yes, a fantasy only though. My FW was shameless, he would never sink through the floor. He was proud and happy for himself; after a 37 year relationship with his wife he finally found the love of his life.
The love of his life… the usual melted Barbie with zero ethics, antibodies from multiple STDs, credit debt and musty hair? 😉
Spot on! Add in a helium breathy voice and an IQ to match her shoe size. Geez I’m starting to feel sorry for her. 90% to meh I guess.
Not that I want him to continue with his employment unscathed, but I hope he’s ordered to pay spousal support at his previous CEO salary.
So do I. I also hope his business partner gets a settlement for damage to his side of the country.
You can’t spell “Whore” without HR.
🤣🤣
It’s so true in every sense.
HAHAHA
🤣 😂 🤣
Okay, that’s funny!
I feel this could be a turning point and outliers like you, Tracey, and professionals like Dr Minwalla may be listened to.
Your take on infidelity and how I felt were the only resources I could find in that moment.
Your book saved my life quite literally. And I was 37 years in when I had my final D Day.
Esther Perel (whose books I actually found fascinating for the most part) really needs to step up and comment on this. I actually think she is a cheater (or her long standing other half is) as she intellectualises cheating to make it sound ‘normal’ human behaviour.
This is a turning point moment.
No more ‘what did his wife do to drive him to it?’ But ‘It’s as it is. An entitled FW eating cake’.
Simples.
France’s culture of women hating is even more pronounced than ours. They had NO age on consent until 2021 after their #metoo inspired by ours. It is now -15. That’s right, 15, Burt before you could have sex with 10 year olds. Women and girls are just fodder- Discarded easily. I realize this comment is women specific, but make no mistake that I find the HR women unforgivable and hope she rots somewhere. But Esther Perel is shilling for the CEOs who pay her -like Nike. And – yeah. CEOs.
The feminist uprisings in more overtly and definably gender-repressive countries (as opposed to the more fragmented, ulcer-inducing, water-torture forms in most English speaking countries) tend to be the most passionate or humorous and energetic, probably because women aren’t confused about what’s going on and have been pushed past the point of spackling, playing nice and pussyfooting.
For instance, feminists from India seem to be more savvy and unapologetic than US feminists. Then during the outbreak of mass #MeToo marches around the world, women in Latin America threw huge and incredibly coordinated shock-and-awe demonstrations (I tear up every time I see these videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tB1cWh27rmI) and French women hit the streets carrying signs that read “Balance ton Porc” (hilarious way to say “Rat on your pervert.”)
I have speculated that this isn’t Kristin’s first rodeo as OW slash mate poacher. The timeline of her marriage to wealthy Cabot hubby and involvement in HIS company relative to the previous divorce from Mr Thornby seems to my Chumpy self highly suspicious. https://nypost.com/2025/07/20/us-news/kristin-cabot-coldplay-cheating-scandal-exec-married-into-bostons-wealthy-cabot-family/
She’s a dreadful cow. Zero integrity social climbing piece of garbage.
I wonder if she was a “church lady” type of HR director. The ones I dealt with always were. Snippy and self righteous. And that was just about training questions, or mandatory paperwork.
I’m watching the Dumbotron reaction coverage and I’m struck by how many people are not happy with the happy couple. Like CL said the zeitgeist may be changing, and now I’m wondering if ex-FW is sitting in our old home on a Sunday afternoon, watching the same coverage and thinking “Hold up – do you mean to tell me that betrayal is generally frowned upon? I had no idea, it’s a revelation…. But, no, that’s those other cheaters. Not me and my true love. Everybody was happy for us.” Dumbass.
My heart goes out to the wife and children. We all know the emotions she has to be dealing with. She has to be struggling with the reality of the end of her life as she knew it. A kind of death. Her life and will never ever be the same again.
My case was very similar to this. My ex husband was / is the CEO of a tech company that we started together. He had an affair with an employee which luckily did not become public. Then he had an affair with the wife of another tech CEO – an even larger tech company and someone who is quite public figure at least in our city. I sold my half, divorced and moved on. I keep thinking one day I’ll see him on the news though- he can’t control himself. I worry for my children if that happens.
“A kind of death. Her life and will never ever be the same again.”
I wish people could get this. And EP should be frog marched to prison for the shit she is selling. Business partners who are betrayed get compensation, I am betting the co founder of this company is already working with his lawyer to receive compensation for damage to his half of the company; but betrayed spouses get blamed for the abuse heaped against them.
Yes my heart goes out to all the children concerned as well. How painful and humiliating – and how conflicted their young selves must feel. I hope they have diligent mental health and school supports to protect them through this.
Imagine being that young and your dickhead dad/dickhead stepmom being recognised by Western world, at global scale, as being a foolish fuckwit that ripped your family apart. It’s really horrible for the children…
….and I hope the wife is able to use this time to gather her resources (legal, mental health, social supports) to lay good foundations to be the sane parent – and to get the outcomes she deserves.
Bravo to her for disabling her accounts and immediately removing the FW’s surname from her own. Shields up, we’ll all be thinking of her…
🤣 The Lego set!
I was wondering if resigning helps cheaters dodge child support and paying more in divorce settlements?
Hi is co founder and worth millions, I think they play by a different set of rules. I don’t know the circumstances, but his soon to be ex wife will be ok. And I hope she does well. Like many of us, she may have known something was amiss, but she may have blamed herself. Now she knows she is not the problem. Likely though in terms of a long term marriage, she was still blindsided.
Even when I knew my ex was treating me like shit, I was confused and trying to figure out if he had a stroke, or maybe was in some trouble at work he didn’t want to tell me about. (he was, she was his direct report).
Amy Robach and TJ Holmes are so yesterday. I don’t know if they’re happy or sad that the public’s attention has been diverted away from their sleazy affair.
How long until we get a “Andy Byron / Kristin Cabot Breaks His / Her Silence” article fearlessly telling how hard the public shaming was for these two and how what they did wasn’t really all that bad?
Can’t get enough of the memes on this one. Meanwhile the Feral Pest who peddles the bullshit that infidelity is AOK / has zero consequences / is not abuse just hard launched her Masterclass on relationships.
Wonder if the jumbotronned happy couple would care to weigh in on the cost of this particular exuberant act of aliveness? Maybe they will be interviewed by Amy Robach and TJ Holmes?
At this point nothing would be a shock.
I wonder if Astronomer’s investigation will look at the circumstances of Cabot’s hiring -just a few months ago? It would be interesting to know just how much involvement Byron had in that hiring process. Were there better candidates, who were not fucking him, overlooked? It does beg the question as to just what kind of headhunting was going on at that time!
It might also be interesting to look into her conduct while she was there. A few months isn’t much, but in my experience, women who rely on sexual favoritism to advance their careers are very likely to drive out anyone who either has a backbone and might stand up to them, might outperform them and thus make them look bad or is a pretty young woman who might catch their affair partner’s eye. As many people would fit at least one of these descriptions, this might lead to very high staff turnover.
Yep, if you are hired for the favors you perform, those don’t stop once hired. I still wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t try a lawsuit. After all, she is toast professionally. Who would want that mess in their HR dept. Either way, the only reason she hasn’t “resigned” is they have not figure out a way to get rid of her lawsuit free.
I have to say the meme above I love best is the guy sitting on the desk waiting for her to come to work. So adorable, and that look on his face. Kind of like “what was that you were lecturing me about yesterday”.
The outrage is very interesting. Who-da-thunk?
Those of us who have been chumped have received some level of validation. Who knows how long it will last, but I like it.
I was watching a comedy show yesterday and some blonde woman guest was asked about it and out of the gate she said. Well it depends on if it was soft cheating or hard cheating. She then said it couldn’t happen in her marriage as they she is in a very happy marriage. So of course if the marriage had been perfect like hers no cheating. Part of me hopes she finds out this week her perfect husband is a cheater. But, the decent part of me hope she never has to feel what most of us chumps have felt. I understand her need to think that way, because if chump was a good spouse then there is no safety for her.
Similar thoughts. My kids are grown. One of my oldest’s friends got engaged this weekend to someone he’s been dating probably less than six months, the daughter of a leader at our former church. And my first thought, unfiltered, was, “I hope he’s not like my ex to her.” My ex used to preach at that church and came from a family of preachers and missionaries. He truly despised me most of our marriage and then figuratively burned the house down and walked away to find himself.
My adult kids get that marrying someone from church isn’t a 100% safety net and know that dating long enough to see more ups-and-downs is very much required.
This does open up for chumps a little…I think it helps the conversation …..but it might be more about stupidity and getting caught. Entitlement and arrogance does not go away, it goes underground and these two morons felt entitled and above the law. It’s the Bernie Madoff of cheating. Bernie went to jail, but a million others are more cautious learning his lessons. It matters to us as educated chumps on CN and with CL It keeps the truth going and the blueprint of cheaters out there. It is of extreme importance to never stop showing the underpants of the cheater and all their apologists.
I agree, Chump Lady. The Phillies mascots video wins!