Natalie Portman Chumped


Add Natalie Portman to the star-studded list of beautiful, cheated upon women. It’s quite a deep bench. We’ve got Beyonce, Shakira, Halle Berry, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Aniston, Christie Brinkley… I’m sure I’m forgetting a few gazillion.

Because you might be rich, multitalented and drop-dead gorgeous, but there’s always some moron who thinks he can do better.

Take Benjamin Millipied, Portman’s (for-now) husband for example. A man who when God was handing out foreheads took seven. A person who became a dancer so people would stare at his feet instead of the giant expanse between his eyebrows and receding hairline. A man with a forehead so wide you could sell ad space.

That guy cheated on Natalie Portman.

Millipied, 46, — a name synonymous with creepy crawly insects — cheated with a 25-year-old climate activist, Camille Etienne. Who, instead of stomping out forest fires in Hawaii or haranguing Boomers to recycle, decided to fuck another woman’s husband. Universal sisterhood not being among the higher ideals to which she aspires.

The obnoxious tabloid the Daily Mail reports:

In June, the couple’s marriage was rocked by a report in a French magazine that Millepied, 46, had cheated on his wife of 11 years with a 25-year-old climate activist named Camille Etienne.

Last week, Portman was then seen without her wedding ring during an outing in Australia – sparking further speculation that the duo’s marriage has come to an end.

However, a source close to Portman, 42, has now shared some insight into the status of their relationship – shutting down rumors that they have ‘separated’ and insisting that the actress still ‘doesn’t know’ if she will walk away from her marriage, despite feeling ‘powerless’ as a result of the infidelity.

‘[Natalie] hates that [Benjamin’s] infidelity has made her feel powerless,’ the insider told DailyMail.com. ‘She doesn’t know if she can regain her power by staying with him or leaving him.

‘It is really a struggle to have to continue to deal with it.’

Oh Natalie, you don’t have to continue to struggle with it. Do you want a marriage or Clash of the Titans? Healthy people don’t define their relationships in terms of power vs. powerlessness.

When living a life in the public eye, I’m sure there are enormous pressures to be perfect. To look perfect, to respond perfectly, to have the perfect marriage, and failing that, the perfect divorce of warm bonhomie and zero anger. #ForTheChildren.

You don’t get to fall apart or be righteously pissed. If you do, the tabloids will drag you. Look at what happened to Jason Sudekis. The nanny reported his D-Day reaction to discovering Olivia Wilde was cheating with Harry Styles and salad dressing became a joke. Sudekis’s grief became a joke. (But not those 11 Emmys won for Ted Lasso. Stir THAT in your vinaigrette Olivia, you pathetic has-been.)

And here’s another thing that happens to chumps in the media spotlight.

Scorned? They always say scorned.

No. Scorned sucks, but I’m talking about how the cheater always gets the assumption of innocence. It’s probably because of lawyers that a magazine can post pictures of two people obviously canoodling with the cutline “ALLEGEDLY cheating.” Followed by the soft pitter-pat of blameshifting. We don’t know what goes on in a marriage. Natalie probably didn’t drop the milligram of baby weight. Who can blame a man so forehead-endowed for wandering?

But the chump? There’s no ALLEGED on their failings. When the relationship inevitably fails — is it the cheating? No it’s cast as:

She couldn’t forgive him.”

The failure is all yours Natalie! No tag backs!

Yes, the ol’ It’s Not What They Did, It’s Your Reaction To It mindfuck. Alive and well in the public discourse.

Instead of putting the heavy weight of instant forgiveness on chumps, why not write: “She never should’ve been put in this position”? Oh, ALLEGED position. Why not put the pressure on the cheater to measure up and not on the chump’s ability to choke down shit sandwiches?

I know, I know… I’m a crazy dreamer.

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I-throw-myself-away
I-throw-myself-away
9 months ago

Ehm… feel free to check me on this, but as far as I remember, I’m pretty sure that Natalie Portman was the OW during Benjamin’s previous relationship and became his partner shortly after. So this feels more like a case of “you lose them how you get them” to me.
Makes it hard to feel sorry

Confused123
Confused123
9 months ago

I was about the write this. I’m sure happiest person today in NYC is Millipeds ex-fiancé/GF. I’m sure it’s karma in her eyes, or perhaps she’s reached Meh! I hope so. That would be best feeling.

Cam
Cam
9 months ago
Reply to  Confused123

I hope she’s forgotten his name or at the very least, 11 years later, doesn’t give a fuck.

Luziana
Luziana
9 months ago

Correct. Millepied cheated on live in girlfriend American Ballet Dancer Isabella Boylston with Portman. I know two children and a marriage is significantly different but she was fine with this. I thought less of her.

I feel like so much of the straight dynamic with sparkly cheaters is that the women (think Ariana Grande, Julia Roberts, Claire Danes, Tori Spelling and Lee Ann Times) think they are soooo splendid that whatever and whomever they want is never out of bounds. We encourage this thinking by rewarding them with success, but they are usually so disordered they would still be Narc Fish in a Smaller Bowl.

For Narc Men, once they attain career success they think of women not as human beings but a smorgasbord of job perks. They believe will social climb like Millipied did, but always feel entitled to order women a La Carte, even if they don’t compare to food at home .

Not all actors and people in the arts are this way, but a segment definitely are.

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
9 months ago
Reply to  Luziana

Wikipedia says Isabella Boylston married Daniel Shin in July 2014. May they be every bit as happy together as they appear to be and may neither one cheat.

FYI
FYI
9 months ago

And she bought a gorgeous apartment in Brooklyn. Talk about meh.
https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/isabella-boylstons-brookyn-apartment

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
9 months ago
Reply to  FYI

Yay for her! Cool place

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  Luziana

I absolutely loved Homeland. I had no idea Claire Danes was a super Duper OW. Her cheating partner at the time, Billy Crudup FW actor, left Mary-Louise Parker (add her to the list) while pregnant and not far off from delivery date.!!!!!!
Danes showed zero remorse even yrs later. She said she was in love and had to explore it.

She certainly didn’t suffer in her line of work, even after showing such a sense of entitlement and lack of empathy.

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
9 months ago
Reply to  Zip

Zip, That Claire Danes situation happened long before I was chumped and I was still so disgusted with her and Billy. To be clear, I never thought cheating was “ok” but post-D-Day, I take it almost personally. Or well, more just that I now know how much bigger it is than just a simple act and how long lasting the repercussions are for the chumps. Previously, I didn’t think very deeply about it, just that it was gross.

I also am a big fan of Mary Louise Parker and just felt sick for her to have that happen so far along in her pregnancy.

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  SortOfOverIt

Exactly….same

Ginger_Superpowers
Ginger_Superpowers
9 months ago
Reply to  Zip

I can’t stand Claire Danes. I find her so full of herself. I saw her in an interview with her current husband, Hugh Dancy, and he didn’t appear very happy. But then I just heard she had another child. People have told me Asshat does not look happy. Who knows?

Billy Crupdup SUCKS! I can’t watch anything he is in.

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
9 months ago
Reply to  Luziana

I’d say the same about the successful in almost any profession… we have a good representation here —law, medicine, politics, academia…

OHFFS
OHFFS
9 months ago
Reply to  Luziana

So she lost him how she got him. Then fuck her, I’m not sorry for her.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

OHFFS , maybe she’ll learn from this, and get therapy for herself, and fix her picker. I hope so.

But I doubt it. Because as a rule, adults don’t change.

MamaMeh
MamaMeh
9 months ago

Cheaters cheat. Surprise!!!

(Except just quietly if I was as jaw-droppingly gorgeous and talented as Natalie Portman I would really think normal state of play would be suspended.)

Goes. To. Show.

As CL points out time and again: it’s a cheater-character thing. Dickheads.

threetimesachump
threetimesachump
9 months ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Wifetress to a little, lower earning, less famous, FRENCH!!, dancer…what could go wrong?

Persephone
Persephone
9 months ago

What’s wrong with being French?

alas rainy again
alas rainy again
9 months ago
Reply to  Persephone

I can pass for French. As a tourist, I always quickly clear that misconception. As soon as it’s clear I am not French, the host relaxes saying French are arrogant, exigeants, loud, critical of everything including ans especially service, and don’t take no for an answer. Sorry. You asked.

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Thanks Tracy,
But, I thought that whenever somebody “dumps” somebody to be with somebody else, there’s always cheating involved. It’s not the same as breaking up with somebody because it didn’t work out, and finding yourself alone.

Along that line, I even find that excuse of “I’m leaving you for somebody else “ sugar coating the abuse. Does anyone ever leave somebody for somebody else when there wasn’t a whole cheating relationship involved with the other person, while their current partner was still heavily investing in the relationship? To me it’s a euphemism, the emphasis is then on being left, rather than on the trauma that happens because of betrayal abuse.
Please add Toni Collette to the list! Andrew Shue as well, but I’m not sure if he was the other man at one point?

And how come we haven’t talked about Ariana Grande? She has a whole history of being the other woman many times over.

Sherese
Sherese
9 months ago
Reply to  Zip

Don’t forget about Julia Roberts. She’s never had a boyfriend/husband who wasn’t married when she started humping them.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  Sherese

Interesting because, from working in an industry that’s chock full of FWs and poachers, I never met a serial side piece who didn’t have Daddy Dearest issues with a violent or psychopathically menacing, usually alcoholic father figure.

Anyway, both Julia and her brother have admitted their stepfather was a “freak” and terrifying when they were small children. I was stuck sitting next to the brother at a work-related event because my mousy little industry veteran boss literally propped me between them. It could have looked like pimping the intern but it was clear my boss was just using me as a human shield because he hid behind me for the whole dinner. I could see why. Roberts’ energy was unmistakable– ticking time bomb. I’ve known a few people with that weirdly kinetic, malevolent “vibe” and the backstories are always horror shows. His wife at the time, whom he’d been charged with assaulting years earlier, looked like she was in the role of “animal handler.” He made everyone uncomfortable. When he left, my boss giggled nervously and mouthed “Redrum.” Yep, that was the feeling. If that guy never ends up committing murder, it sure felt like he thought about it a lot.

When I worked in advocacy, I read that, among children raised with domestic violence, it’s boys who statistically catch the worst brunt and are the most likely to be injured or killed by the abusive parent. But even the “bystander” kids hardly come away unscathed and may learn to grovel for amnesty by sucking up to or flirting with the abuser, in essence throwing other family members under the bus in the process. I feel sorry for the kids who are helplessly entrapped in families like this this but not so much for the adult former victims who internalize it and keep reenacting the dynamics at the expense of others.

SootheSayer
SootheSayer
9 months ago

I howled at the Chaka reference! Yes, I just age outed myself but that was funny as hell. I remember reading about them when they became a couple. Didn’t he leave his ballerina gf for Nat? What comes around, goes around.

Tornup
Tornup
9 months ago

They met during black swan and he had a life in girlfriend of 3 years at the time. Even if that relationship was ending. Jumping right into a new relationship is always a red flag as well. People should not be that easily swapped out with no recovery or or processing. It does state that she kept the relationship quiet for a while. Obviously to create distance between the 2 relationships and allow the old one to end. She should have seen the writing on the walls. Either way. Why can’t people stop cheating?????

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
9 months ago
Reply to  Tornup

Why? They don’t want to.

Orlando
Orlando
9 months ago

In the picture you posted, I see the eyes of a checked-out dude (with seven foreheads lol) while Natalie looks blissfully unaware…. he sure fooled her into thinking she was “spezshul” & he wasn’t a serial cheater at all 🙄 Next wife, beware. No one is spezshul with this dude.

Brit
Brit
9 months ago
Reply to  Orlando

Yes, he looks checked out. I noticed the way he’s standing next to Natalie, like a mannequin.
He has his arm around her but not really.

Not to be rude, what do these women see in him? He looks arrogant and superficial, he’s a cheater.
and that forehead.

Tempest
Tempest
9 months ago
Reply to  Brit

Sadly, a French accent and savoir faire go pretty far in the dating world.

Cam
Cam
9 months ago
Reply to  Brit

I never understood their relationship. I remember when they first got together years ago, I saw photos and thought his body language with Portman was odd and checked out.

Didn’t know until today that there was a fuzzy timeline/probable cheating on his previous partner, so suddenly things make more sense to me. The guy’s got the emotional depth of a teaspoon and doesn’t bond with anyone.

Susan
Susan
9 months ago
Reply to  Cam

It’s funny you picked that out. I saw the same thing in the Brad/Jen wedding photo. She’s looking up at him adoringly, and he’s smiling at the camera. That wedding was doomed from the start.

Brit
Brit
9 months ago
Reply to  Susan

Speaking of Ben and Jen-https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12078457/Jlo-Ben-Affleck-seen-arguing-red-light-Beverly-Hills.html

Chumpasaurus45
Chumpasaurus45
9 months ago

The forehead references were just too funny! LOL!! 🤣😂
Character challenged ppl go as deep as a splash of water on a kitchen counter. FW’s gonna FW, nobody snapping up one is ever going to be a big winner.
If Nat shacked up knowingly with a cheater, she deserved the fallout down the road. Karma’s a bitch.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago

“despite feeling ‘powerless’ ”

It is the very first feeling I had. I remember walking around and just having no energy and thinking, I can’t do anything about it. It is such a common feeling from the women I have talked to.

NoKibble4U
NoKibble4U
9 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

My therapist called it “spiritual rape”.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago

I meant to add that I understand what she means by powerless. She likely never thought of her marriage as a power struggle. I know I didn’t, but once I found out I was lied to for years, powerless was the feeling I felt.

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

Every one of us is powerless once we enter a relationship, Susie Lee. In this day of vanishing text messages, vanishing facebook messages, burner phones, endless on line hook up sites, pre-paid credit cards, we are all helpless. If you don’t marry them, they can’t cheat on you. If you do marry them, you are helpless in the face of their morals or lack thereof. ps I learned not long ago that the “Words with Friends” app is being used as a message board now. Also, online game boards are now hook up sites. Powerless, every single married person alive!

OHFFS
OHFFS
9 months ago
Reply to  Leftbehindlily

That doesn’t just apply to married people, lily. Anyone with a significant other can be cheated on.

I think the word you may mean is vulnerable rather than helpless, because we can help ourselves by leaving at the first sign of dishonesty and other aspects of crappy character.
So we are not completely powerless or helpless. Rare is the FW who is such an expert at hiding his/her/their true nature that there are not any red flags.
We just need to be highly aware, to trust our instincts and to not brush the signs off as being of no significance. If I had done all that I’d definitely have avoided being chumped, at least by the FW who did it.
Now I do know what to look for, but have no interest in pursuing another relationship. I don’t have it left in me after being with FW so long.

Tempest
Tempest
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

Agree, we are never powerless (even if we sometimes feel like it). Disordered people live for power, whether they are obvious about it or not. Once the chump asserts power by leaving, our greatest power comes from indifference (which admittedly, can take awhile to get to).

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

I agree; anyone in a relationship can be cheated on. However, I must repeat: we are all helpless in this digital world. We cannot predict or prevent infidelity. Once we enter into a relationship, we are helpless. There is not one single thing we can do to protect ourselves. Are you going to clone your partner’s phone and live surgically attached at the hip? And what good does it do if you discover it? You are still ruined. If I had known at 20 what I discovered much later in life, I’d have been a single parent by choice and I’d have answered to nobody and I’d have been vulnerable to nothing.

CBN
CBN
9 months ago
Reply to  Leftbehindlily

“You are still ruined.”

I think something similar sometimes, lily, although with a twist. For me, I often think that it doesn’t really matter whether I was cheated on or not. Would I be in a different place if he’d left “honorably” after 27 years instead of cheating and then leaving? Most times I decide no, it doesn’t matter. Either way, I still wasted the best years of my life on someone who didn’t keep his promise to me. You’re not supposed to leave your marriage absent good cause, period. It’s a life-long commitment. Does it really make a difference to me if my husband cheats and leaves vs walking away without cheating? Nope. Not really. “I’m still ruined.”

I think you can leave a marriage “honorably” for maybe a couple of years after the wedding, but there comes a point in the timeline where your spouse has so altered their life in reliance upon your promise, that there is no “honorable” way to leave. I’m probably in the minority, but that’s how I see it. There’s nothing “honorable” about divorcing your spouse after decades together, absent abuse or other good cause. It doesn’t make you a good person or “honorable” simply because you weren’t cheating before you dumped your spouse. You still broke your promise and devastated the person who relied upon it.

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago
Reply to  CBN

This, 100%. Society has let the art of honor lapse, to the detriment of all of us.

New Beginnings
New Beginnings
9 months ago
Reply to  Leftbehindlily

Yes, anyone can be cheated on but this is not limited to the current digital world. Cheating FWs have always walked among us. They were perfectly capable of finding opportunities prior to cellphones.

While I cannot control other people I am not powerless as I can control my responses. As OHFFS said, we can be aware of the red flags and trust our instincts.

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago
Reply to  New Beginnings

It is true that FWs have always been around; however, it has never in history been so easy to hide your infidelity as it is now. No amount of hypervigilance will render you immune. I’ve seen men at my former workplace carrying as many as three cell phones on their persons. An innocent, loving partner will likely not notice “red flags” for the same reason a legitimate shopper is unlikely to spot a pick pocket. Helpless is the only word for it. “Vulnerable” implies that it is your own fault you are not “invulnerable”.

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
9 months ago
Reply to  Leftbehindlily

Lily, My FW’s affair was conducted nearly entirely digitally. He claims he never slept with her. (I obviously don’t believe that, but she lives on the other side of the country- there were very few opportunities for them to have been together. It would be maybe less than 5 in a 6 year period. I am certain that they did take advantage of those opportunities, few as they were) Anyway, my real point is that while cheating is a tale as old as time, I do agree with you that cell phones and the web have made things so much easier. And there was nothing casual about his affair. They both claimed to be in love and destined to be together. Also, I have a friend that is single and is frequently on dating apps, there are tons of married people that state right in their profile that they are married and looking for a discreet side piece. And that is just the ones that admit it, she once dated a guy for a bit before she figured out he was secretly married. It didn’t take her long and she will never make that mistake again, but geez.

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago
Reply to  SortOfOverIt

We all of us should watch Hulu’s Betrayed: The Perfect Husband. Once the chump was forced into awareness by the FW’s arrest, she uncovered a computer file with photos of more than 60 women (some of them her friends). She had not one suspicion prior to the intervention of the courts. That was me: not one suspicion until my doctor slapped me in my face with an STD diagnosis. I am faithful, and just like Melanie Wilkes, the concept of deceit and infidelity was outside my frame of reference. You may be distracted by that AF’s distance; it will make you overlook what is right under your nose. I know a man whose wife had sex in the back of a car, parked in the lot of the biggest mall in the county, in broad daylight. Cheaters aren’t great lovers and they don’t need elaborate settings or large blocks of time. I know another man whose wife took up walking for exercise, walked to the city cemetery nearby, and had sex in the back of a van. She was a teacher and her AF was her school principal. Cheaters are like little dogs looking for another leg to hump. It only takes a minute and minimum of concealment.

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

Great points!

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
9 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

If you’d asked me about this during my marriage, I would have just been confused. We were a team, so why would I even think in about who had power and who didn’t?

I now see that XW was absolutely flexing her power (particularly in the latter days of the marriage, during the affairs) by doing things like picking ridiculous fights in order to force me to apologize, or engineering conflicts with my family to force me to choose between her and them. At the time I was mostly bewildered, but I now see that she was testing me. (Side note: these were unwinnable tests. If I didn’t cave in to her I was failing as a husband; if I did cave in to her I was failing as a man.)

We are many years into divorce now, but the power plays continue. Bizarrely, XW wins more often than she loses (usually because I am unwilling to stand my ground, even when justified, when it means the kids will suffer) but doesn’t understand that her “winning” these conflicts doesn’t make me more likely to grant her favors when she asks for them. There must be some deep internal psychological conflict going on, because she is otherwise a very smart person and savvy negotiator so her persistent use of techniques that undermine her own long-term goals is otherwise impossible to explain. I’m so glad that I’m only exposed to it even once in a while, rather than daily!

Sunrise
Sunrise
9 months ago

I used to think the same thing. I wondered why Douchecanoe kept approaching me in a way that proved unsuccessful during divorce proceedings and was ruining any chance at co-parenting. Then in came out during another of his unnecessary and failed post-decree proceedings. Our lawyers were off to the side speaking privately when I heard mine exclaim “just who is your client!?!” Later he explained that Douchecanoe’s attorney kept using the word “she” (as in she thinks this is fair, she wants this, she’ll concede that). It became clear that the howorker turned howife was running the show. My ex husband had so little control over his legal proceedings that his own lawyer actually forgot he was the client, not Schmoopie.

Falling Forward
Falling Forward
9 months ago

IG, this entire post quite perfectly describes my divorce and ex-FW, too. In fact, just this past week after a terse exchange, he tried to flex on the fact that I do not refer to his AP/fiance by her name, I’ve always called her Schmoopie or Schmoops (for the record, he picked this up and ALSO called her this for weeks while they were trying to keep her identity a big secret, but for some reason now it is suddenly forbidden). Like you, I just try to make choices based on minimizing trouble for the kids, which oftentimes leaves me at a disadvantage, one he is not empathic enough to even realize is happening. It is weird (dare I say satisfying?) to see him try to dictate something now, when we have mostly-grown kids and nothing left to negotiate with… For your enjoyment, here is the most unbelievable part of the text sequence: “First, do not refer to Xxxx as anything other than Xxxx. She is my partner and does not deserve to be called names. Second, the past two phone calls have resulted in you either accusing me of being a narcissist or not handling my responsibilities…” I nearly choked on my coffee!

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
9 months ago

I’m sorry you are subject to her continued abuse. Hope your freedom day is coming soon. My youngest turned 18 last year and it’s such a relief!

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
9 months ago

I am looking forward to that. Six years to go for me.

Big picture (on my good days): she is what she is and she will always by trying to push me for more. If we weren’t fighting about whether I am obligated to swap a couple of custody days we’d be fighting about something more substantial (does she really have to pay college costs? do I have to “embrace” her AP/husband?); it’s tiring but it keeps the zone of contention in a reasonable place. I know (because I’ve seen it happen) that if I gave in today it would just embolden her to ask for more. It’s kind of like dealing with a toddler (with the very big difference that you know that the toddler pushes boundaries because he is maturing and, ultimately, you want him to grow beyond the rules).

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
9 months ago

Although I still feel (sort of) sorry for Natalie for being chumped by this disgusting cheater, it does seem that she was an AP that followed the predictable script of actors cheating on set. He’s a pig… But she’s not innocent in this.

That said, did you ever see her movie The Other Woman (from 2009)? Warning… It’s triggering. I cried through it. But she plays the young legal assistant to a lawyer married to Lisa Kudrow (a respected OBGYN). Natalie’s character actively pursues the married lawyer and not only ends his marriage to Kudrow but then marries the lawyer and has a baby. But her baby dies and she feels it’s punishment. I couldn’t help but think of it during this news story. Why is it that all the focus is on the women and their reactions?? Why is the FW cheater lawyer kind of peripheral to it all?

Mia
Mia
9 months ago

Chumps are more interesting than cheaters because chumps tend to have an actual soul.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago

I gagged when I saw the trailer for that film– yet another old straight-to-video flop (2009) surfacing on Netflix but a particularly nauseating one. If anything, the film proves how whitewashed and reengineered ethical narratives (probably done from the filmmaker’s subjective crappy conscience) that try to exonerate types of people who, in real life, aren’t so charming or sympathetic and to rewrite victimized characters as perps or participants, make really clunky stories no matter how they try to spackle up the gaps and hide the stench with cheesy music. In short, it’s like watching “neutralization”– the classic mental gymnastics that serial offenders of all stripes engage in to deny having done harm, alter the characters of victims so that they’re cast as “deserving of/courting/benefiting from” victimization, condemn anyone who would condemn the perpetrators’ actions, etc.– in film form.

Art requires truth. BS ain’t art. The soundtracks often give it away. It’s so common that I’ve started to brace for that subtext whenever I hear a particularly sappy, manipulative film scores. Oops, here comes the abuser narrative flip! The cheesy music running under Portman’s scenes made it more than clear that it was– despite possibly displaying certain downside to “mate-poaching”– on an awkwardly transparent crusade to grub sympathy for poachers in general. Oh, side piece was swept away by passion, poor dear (swelling “passion” music). OWs aren’t bad people! They suffer too! (swelling emo music). Look how bitchy bitter bunny ex-chump puts an unreasonable wedge between her kid and the woman who helped blow up the kids’ life (some suspenseful horror movie soundtrack beats). Aw, isn’t it cute how the homewrecker gradually seduces (sorry, “wins over”) chumped kid? (cheery, peppy, light soundtrack).

Another example that comes to mind is Kevin Spacey’s choice to do “American Beauty” which attempts– also with the help of a sappy or swelling, wistful score– to gloss over pedophilia and blame others for the perving. In that case, I’d already heard about Spacey’s antics when I first saw the film on video because so many people working in media had personal stories about him (he reportedly had a penchant for harassing very homely straight teens he worked with or guys so young-looking they played teens. It was the first time I met guys describing harassment in the same flat, drained, charred and scarred voices that women often do). I never knew why that film succeeded. I felt mentally raped by it and got the feeling that Spacey pushed the project out of a personal need to promote that narrative. A little more FWitty backstory to the film that could illustrate project choices is that director Sam Mendes later met ex Kate Winslet when she was married to someone else and insta-divorce followed. Everyone on the project who didn’t really need to do it for money or careers seemed to show what is called “infidelity tolerance” if not pedophilia tolerance.

Unlike with American Beauty, when I saw “The Other Woman” trailer, I knew nothing about Portman’s behavior with Millepied but immediately wondered whether Portman was a fan of Perel even prior to the poach. It didn’t seem like she needed to do that B budget, POS project for the sake of her career but chose to do it because she agreed with the icky premise. In other words, she may have started out with “infidelity tolerance” and poaching and cheating don’t just “happen” nor does the fallout from it just “happen.” It’s not tragedy but life trajectory.

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
9 months ago

HoaC,
It astounds me how many films have truly problematic messages that not only are glossed over by society, but that I PERSONALLY glossed over. I am embarrassed to admit, I liked the movie. I mean, it was nearly 25 years ago, and a lot of questionable content was more frequently stuffed down our throats then. But still, I look back now, especially given what we eventually learned about Spacey and I am horrified.

Stephen
Stephen
9 months ago

I was trying to figure out where the Will Smith/Jada Pinkett Smith story fits into this since the first paragraph seemed to be fishing for other celebrities and the list did not include a man 🤣 😳 Then I went back and read a word-salad interview that Will Smith gave to CBS in 2022 a week or two before he hit Chris Rock and decided it does and it doesn’t. I think Will was in the middle of the pick-me-dance when he hit Chris Rock even though he said in his earlier interview that he and Jada had an open marriage; but I’m not sure how open it was or for how long or when he may have decided to close it. Either way I love this quote from Chris Rock on the whole thing: “Everybody in here been cheated on. None of us have ever been interviewed by the person that cheated on us, on television. None of us,” Rock said during his special. “Like, ‘Hey, I was sucking somebody else’s d**k. How did that make you feel?” So, I’d like to add Will Smith to the list because I think he was chumped and did the entire pick-me-dance right before our eyes on an internationally televised show in prime time. He was trying to prove to Jada he was man enough for her. In my worst moments I kept asking my ex cheating drug addict what kind of man she wanted in her life. It was a stupid question that got me nowhere

Stephen
Stephen
9 months ago
Reply to  Stephen

Clarification: “when he may have decided to close it” – should read “they”

Blizzard
Blizzard
9 months ago

I think I saw a post, might have been here, and it gives me strength each and every day to stay the course

All.Relationships.End.

Affirms my wanting to live solo and to never again being chumped.

The. End.

Elsie
Elsie
9 months ago
Reply to  Blizzard

So true. I can only think of a handful of marriages that I truly admire, and I’m not willing to roll the dice at this point in my life. I did the marriage and family thing for several decades with a marriage blow-up closing that chapter. The lovely adult children were the benefit there. Almost all of my divorced friends feel the same.

I appreciate that younger folks what to couple up again and all, but not me.

Rebecca
Rebecca
9 months ago
Reply to  Elsie

It’s not just younger people that want another partner/chance at love.
I’m definitely into my senior years but would like to meet a partner to enjoy my sunset years with.
I’ve been divorced long enough to understand that by the luck of the draw I picked a narcissist

Unicornomore
Unicornomore
9 months ago
Reply to  Rebecca

I now know there are red flags of various sizes that I missed along they way but when we are young ( I was 18, Cheater was 20 when we met) much of who they will be is still in flux…but I do agree – getting a nice guy or narcissist is the luck of the draw. At various times, I thought myself quite lucky, but I was wrong. When I was a teen, a neighbor girl my age got pregnant by a classmate shortly after HS, he was getting no education and drove a goofy sports car. Saw them at the 40 yr reunion…he is a lovely successful husband and they have a great family…damn…who knew he was the prize?

I remarried when I was 50 and Im glad I did, but I will use every modicum of flexibility I have left on this dear man and if he dies first, Im getting a dog.

nomar
nomar
9 months ago
Reply to  Blizzard

My parents were married 60 years before my father passed 5 years ago. Their relationship was imperfect, but she remembers him deeply and with love every day. In a sense, they are together still, and it comforts her.

DrChump
DrChump
9 months ago
Reply to  nomar

Nomar,
You reminded me of this:
” It ought to be easy, ought to be simple enough. Man meets a woman and they fall in love, but the house is haunted and the ride gets rough! Got to learn to live with what you can’t rise above if you want to ride down into, into this tunnel of love”
Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen’s “Tunnel of Love”
Seems very pertinent to what you are saying.
Unfortunately Bruce wrote it during the break up with Julianne Phillips his first wife. The time line suggests he was cheating with Patti Scialfa during there marriage. Good song by a FW

nomar
nomar
9 months ago
Reply to  DrChump

Yep, then he cheated on Patti with some some bored married housewife he met at the gym. Turns out The Boss is just another shallow douche nozzle.

DrChump
DrChump
9 months ago
Reply to  nomar

Yes he is

Unicornomore
Unicornomore
9 months ago
Reply to  nomar

I do think that this happens and a widowed partner bides their time until they join their beloved. My grand parents were like this.
When I was widowed young, I think I saw in many of my Catholic friends that they were watching for me to declare myself “forever married” to dead husband. (I think it has a lot to do with how they would want their spouse to act if they died and I got dragged into their drama when I didnt act as they wished.) I was having none of it and started dating.

Catholics marry “until death do we part” but if some couples want to extend it, that is up to them. Mormons marry forever but Ive been told that if widowed, they can marry a placeholder to finish life with but they both know that they are still promised to their first one. So glad that is not my tradition

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago

Sigh. In my own case, FW’s OW was the company skank, the town bicycle (every guy had a ride, so long as he was a MARRIED guy), and she had an amazing physical resemblance to his sister. Me? A former model, a high-income earner, a trophy wife actually….but, he sure screwed that pooch. Ladies, it has nothing to do with us. Nothing to do with our looks, our assets, our behavior in or out of bed. They do it because they can, and they expect to get away with it. This is one time when we should fail to live up to the spouses’ expectations. Dump that SOB at the dog pound Natalie, and live your best life single.

Ginger_Superpowers
Ginger_Superpowers
9 months ago

Girlfried, you are on fire this this morning!

Love the sarcasm. Just what this Chump needed on a Monday. It’s why I keep coming back for more.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

CurlyChump
CurlyChump
9 months ago

My ex has a forehead like Millepied’s. The first time I saw an article about Portman’s husband, I wondered if he was a long-lost cousin of my ex! 😂

Viktoria
Viktoria
9 months ago

For the cheater it is about power-over, and control, and entitlement to “variety” and helping themselves to random 25 year olds, no matter if they have made an agreement and commitment with their partner to have an exclusive, monogamous relationship. Cheaters do not care if they hurt their faithful partner. They only care about pleasing themselves. They are heartless.

Ginger_Superpowers
Ginger_Superpowers
9 months ago
Reply to  Viktoria

I believe some FWs are sadistic and are intentional about hurting their faithful partner. It’s a game to them and they get pleasure in seeing our pain. Asshat wasn’t really heartless–he had a black hole where his heart should be, sucking goodness and joy out of everyone around him because he doesn’t have the ability to possess those.

OHFFS
OHFFS
9 months ago

“She doesn’t know if she can regain her power by staying with him or leaving him.”

She doesn’t? I thought she was supposed to have a genius IQ. I read that somewhere. The answer to this question should be obvious to anyone with an IQ over room temperature. I get that love tends to short circuit the brain, but Natalie, c’mon. On what planet can you regain power by staying with somebody who abused amd humiliated you?

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

The cheating is true but that tabloid is a piece of crap. Probably not too much legitimacy to the whole power conversation. I’m guessing it took her a bit to exit stage left because of the whole traumatic shock factor and having kids… She’ll come to her senses, if she hasn’t already.
Karma.

Cam
Cam
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

It’s not about intelligence, it’s trauma.

Lot of us are smart people, and most of us were blindsided and too stunned to act after D-Day. It’s a rare story in Chump Nation when someone immediately throws the fucker out and calls a lawyer.

Anita
Anita
9 months ago
Reply to  Cam

You are so right, Cam. My friend was chumped (really bad) and was beating herself up about it. I told her that someone cheating on you changes You, at least temporarily, and you just aren’t yourself. Looking back, I can’t believe the shit I put up with the Cheater asshole. Makes me sick to think about it. But one day I snapped out of it, thankfully. It’s very profitable for so many people for chumps to put up with the abuse.

The RIC likes to call it hysterical bonding, lol. I like to call it temporary insanity. I actually thought the whore he admired so much was better than me, when she’s just a slimy skank and I actually thought I was getting a prize with the Cheater asshole. And that I was the problem, not those two. Temporary insanity, indeed.

Cam
Cam
9 months ago
Reply to  Anita

I’m sorry you and your friend had such horrible experiences.

And yes, infidelity is abuse… and temporary insanity is a very normal reaction to abuse.

KB22
KB22
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

I have a dear old friend…one of the smartest people I know, we’re talking off the charts smart. When it came to relationships she was thick as a brick.

Leftbehindlily
Leftbehindlily
9 months ago
Reply to  KB22

Off the charts smart is often on the autism spectrum. Pretty sure that’s why it took my doctor looking me in the eye and telling me I had an STD for the lights to come on. Maybe your friend is one of us.

Falling Forward
Falling Forward
9 months ago
Reply to  KB22

KB22, are you my friend? LOL I always thought I was smart, but looking back at my mirage and divorce is bewildering…the chumpiest chump of all chumps . Yikes.

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
9 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

OHFFS, many chumps on here are super smart but still get confused by the gaslighting, lies, love, and especially the RIC. We also don’t know what to do that’s right for the kids. I was lucky — the choice was taken from me (he left me for AP), so I give a fair break to Nat on this. Not to mention…these aren’t her words. They are from “an insider”….so we really don’t know what Natalie is up to. Fingers crossed she is lawyering up quietly (maybe with some Harvard Law shark buddies) and taking this asshole down.

Bridget
Bridget
9 months ago

Natalie is a wifetress. As others have already pointed out, Benjamin was with another ballerina and cheated on her with Portman. I don’t feel sorry for Portman whatsoever. She thought she and their love were special, found out the hard way that this wasn’t the case. Oh well!

Sandyfeet
Sandyfeet
9 months ago
Reply to  Bridget

We don’t know what kind of BS lies he told about his relationship with ballerina to Natalie especially if they weren’t married. Very eye opening to hear the crap FW said to Howorker and her mother about our marriage, it was news to me. All lies. He said I had seen an attorney. Technically yes, I was handling my parents estate- they had a trust. Had nothing to do with consultation for divorce. At that point I had no idea I needed one.

FW cleaned out his closet, I offered to drop it off at charity, he said he would on the way to office. Howorker said that was his proof he was moving out and had told me as much, LIES….

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
9 months ago
Reply to  Sandyfeet

Sandyfeet, I will never know what my FW said to his AP about me/our marriage. I can certainly guess, because he tried to rewrite history with ME, the person who was there for it. All the gaslighting and lies about “my part” in causing the cheating. I learned early on that the less I know about the affair, the AP, what was said/done etc…the better. But there is a part of me that is morbidly curious as to what exactly he told her. Almost like, I don’t REALLY want to know, because there would be too many things that hurt, but I am curious. I am not about to give her a call and ask, and god knows, the FW would just lie. But I would love to know exactly how far he strayed from the truth.

Sandyfeet
Sandyfeet
9 months ago
Reply to  SortOfOverIt

It’s is awful knowing some of the lies, I’m sure I’d be appalled if I knew any more. Just glad I found LACGAL and didn’t waste more energy and money on him. I was told by FW my part was being too trusting 🙄
Sorry SortofOverIt that this is their legacy.

Valerie
Valerie
9 months ago

Just here to say that I saw this first on your Facebook post. And immediately thought to myself, “What a forehead. He must have used a Ronco Forehead Stretcher. ‘And if you order one in the next 30 minutes, you can get a second one free, just pay shipping and handling.’ ” And here you addressed this, so funny. I suffered through my divorce during the time of Princess Di’s divorce and when Kathie Lee Gifford learned of her husband’s infidelity. I remember thinking how much more awful it is to suffer this in public. I really despise cheaters.

Zip
Zip
9 months ago

If we are being hilariously snarky about FW’s looks, how come we are not commenting on the weird looking SpongeBob dude who left his gorgeous wife and child for Ariana Grande?
(Minutes after posting a beautiful tribute to his wife on Instagram)
Ariana Grande, also cheated on her husband, even though it’s all covered up because of the $ her managers have for making their money earners look innocent and even great!
For example, Ariana is supposedly giving the broken up couple ‘space’ to work out the paperwork.
….such a saint/ after she poached the woman’s husband!
I’m so sick of hearing about all the trouble in the marriage stories when cheating stories come out… When the trouble in the marriage was the cheater!

Unicornomore
Unicornomore
9 months ago
Reply to  Zip

Yea, that guy just made a HUGE mistake. Ariana isnt going to stay with him, he is a temporary toy and will get dropped when she sees the next sparkily fellow walk by. Ugly dude will lose it all and end up alone.

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  Unicornomore

HUGE MISTAKE! Karma won’t take long in his case. What an idiot! And I love that his wife didn’t take it quietly for once.

CurlyChump
CurlyChump
9 months ago
Reply to  Zip

Yep! She called a spade and spade and said she and her son were just “collateral damage” to Spongebob & Ariana. Indeed those selfish FW’s have no concern for other people until the consequences make them, “look bad.”

Shann
Shann
9 months ago

Keep speaking that truth Mrs C💛

Mia
Mia
9 months ago

She was the Other Woman when she and Thousand Feet got together. He was living with his fiance at the time. Nevertheless, he is an asshole, clearly. But im having a lot of trouble caring about rich people lately. They will buy two mansions on the same street and their kids will want for nothing. Im more interested in the rest if us, who face real consequences (poverty) when we divorce.

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
9 months ago
Reply to  Mia

“But im having a lot of trouble caring about rich people lately. They will buy two mansions on the same street and their kids will want for nothing. Im more interested in the rest if us, who face real consequences (poverty) when we divorce.”

Ditto. It sucks when you have split 6 figures or more with someone after being a stellar employee or starting the business with a FW. But at least you still have plenty of money and aren’t facing living out of your car or trying to apply for SNAP or Medicaid for your kid.

OutButNotDown
OutButNotDown
9 months ago

Let’s not forget another beautiful, famous, multi-talented Natalie whom fans suspect was cheated on by her ex-husband (married 17 years): Natalie Mains. Out of that messy situation, and the other messy divorces with the other band members, came the album “Gaslighter” – instrumental to me as I recover after DDay #2. I love it when these famous chumps give us these inspiring gifts!

Roaring
Roaring
9 months ago

Weirdly, author Jonathan Safran For left his wife (better author Nicole Kraus) for Natalie Portman based on some emails they exchanged. She did NOT encourage it but that didn’t stop him from assuming she loved him.

loch
loch
9 months ago
Reply to  Roaring

Good lord. Exhausting.

CurlyChump
CurlyChump
9 months ago
Reply to  Roaring

I remember reading about her weird pen-pal relatonship with Foer years ago. I don’t think the article I read mentioned him being married (and subsequently divorced). Was she young and didn’t understand the need to have better boundaries with hetero married friends of the opposite sex? A sucker for cultivating male attention? IDK.

babs
babs
9 months ago

Eh, she lost him the way she got him. He was in a 10+ years relationship when she started hooking up with him.

MegaMeh
MegaMeh
9 months ago

You can add the fabulous and talented actressToni Collette to the chumped-in-public list. While her cheating ex was being photographed in the tabloids frollicking in the surf with his Schmoops, Ms Toni was graciously saying all the sane parent stuff about being there for the children. Eating a platter of shit sandwiches in private is one thing, but doing this in public must be another whole level of awful. You rock Toni!

FormerlyKnownAs
FormerlyKnownAs
9 months ago

My ex had a forehead that I think might be slightly larger…must be a genetic trait of cheaters. In my initial DDay trauma and grief I took family photos of me and FW to my therapist and pleaded, “look at this beautiful and happy couple and family, how could he do this to us?” And she looked at the photos for a long time and said, “He looks fake. His smiles look fake and it’s weird the way he reaches out to you with a limp arm.” I can see a bit of that with the above photo of Mr Forehead.

Brit
Brit
9 months ago

My Cheater has a long face with a high forehead. I wasn’t attracted to him at first, he was’t like the guys I normally went out with who were more “carefree and fun”. Cheater seemed awkward, nerdy, moralistic. Which I thought would make a good husband.
I noticed in photos of cheater his eyes always look blank. He might have a smile on his mouth but his eyes don’t match. He’s rigid and never looks relaxed or genuinely happy.. I began to feel like I was never quite good enough.
I also see a similar look with Mr. Forehead, Natalie is feeling something is off but not sure what as he puts his arm around her like a mannequin. I felt like I was hugging a mannequin when I’d hug cheater. He’d stand rigid and didn’t bend his arms. Weird

hush
hush
9 months ago

Natalie Portman historically takes a bit longer than many to finally SEE certain predatory men in the arts for the monsters they really are. In 2018, Portman apologised and expressed regret for signing serial rapist Harvey Weinstein’s petition in favor of child rapist Roman Polanski. I always felt icky watching Portman portrayed in such a sexualized manner in the movies when she was a young child in the early 90s.

Other gorgeous Chumped actors: Uma Thurman, Colin Firth, Sienna Miller, and Sandra Bullock, just to name a few more.

StraightOuttaChumpton
StraightOuttaChumpton
9 months ago
Reply to  hush

Gwen Stefani

Zip
Zip
9 months ago

And her current H

MsAzure
MsAzure
9 months ago

CL’s snark machine is lit today!

“A man who when God was handing out foreheads took seven. A person who became a dancer so people would stare at his feet instead of the giant expanse between his eyebrows and receding hairline. A man with a forehead so wide you could sell ad space.”

“Who can blame a man so forehead-endowed for wandering?”

Ooooh hoo, haha … (cradling stomach)

IF Natalie started to date him while he was living with another woman, then she was forewarned that he had cheater-pants DNA. Caveat emptor and all that jazz.

How ’bout … “a man who could open a drive-in movie theater if he could only stand still for a few hours.”

Zip
Zip
9 months ago

Ciara is another good one for the list… With a happy ending for her, the Chump!

https://www.laineygossip.com/future-remains-bitter-baby-daddy-as-ciara-russell-wilson-announce-pregnancy/74565

OverIt
OverIt
9 months ago

Natalie- what you do with them, they will do to you. She was the AP in the insect’s first marriage

Zip
Zip
9 months ago

I like what Crump lady said about the OW fucking someone else’s husband, rather than being out there doing good in the world #ClimateChange activist.

So many of these Fuckwits, in addition to being Fuckwits are also so self righteous. I think of Miranda Lambert (FW galore) recently having a sissy fit because somebody took a selfie at her concert -which was distracting to her the artist! Their entitlement is just so glaringly over the top!

Angelina Jolie is another Fuckwit who likes to poach other people’s partners… She’s done it more than once. Even with her busy activism schedule, she finds time to wreck other people’s marriages.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago
Reply to  Zip

All good points.

As if these “artists” would be anywhere without their fans.

Jokesonyoulynnjazzy
Jokesonyoulynnjazzy
9 months ago

These cheaters are all alike. My ex husband Jesus cheater made our special dish of Kung Pao chicken and took it to “the love of his life” and celebrated 4th of July.

I was in Colorado helping my sister who had an almost fatal heart attack.

He called to wish me a Happy Fourth and said he would be celebrating alone by watching fireworks from the top of our house.

Jackass took it in one of my good bowls that he left with her. They are both skanks of the highest order and wouldn’t miss a church service! They are best friends with the so called pastor and his wife who condoned their love affair and married them. 🤮🤮🤮

Lancasterbound
Lancasterbound
9 months ago

Well, well, well, @Tracy… did you know Portman was the other woman herself? Google away and please change the narrative here. Portman deserved it. Yes, I said it. Poor children.

Brit
Brit
9 months ago

A few more Chumps to add to the list:

Eva Longoria,
Fergie
Emma Thompson
Shawna Twain
Sienna Miller

The list seems endless, it’s surprising how many cheaters cheat when the Chump is pregnant, recently given birth, or cheated with the Nanny..

The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
8 months ago
Reply to  Brit

Both Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas and Sarah, the Duchess of York

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
9 months ago
Reply to  Brit

Sienna Miller was chumped, but also had affairs. See Daniel Craig and Balthazar Getty.

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  Brit

How could we forget Shania, OW- best friend ugh

Emma
Emma
9 months ago

I feel very much sorrow for Natalie Portman. The heartless and judge mental comments about her are the kind of responses here that often make me feel like I’m reading what happens to “mean girls” when they grow up. Sort of grow up. Get older, let’s say that. Are only those deemed “perfect victims” worthy of your understanding and empathy? If so, how can your comments be so sympathetic to other chumps here? After all, maybe they do t make the cut. You don’t know if your mean girl standards apply or not. Yeah, Natalie fell in love, fell for a jerk, fell for whatever lies he told her, fell for her own feelings of feeling special. That’s so different from all of us? Whatever. It just makes me feel like this is a hostile place when I read so much harsh judgement. The OW, one of the many, in my story was a young girl. I was angry at her many times, but in the end she was a fool just like me. A fool like Natalie Portman. A fool like all of us.

The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
8 months ago
Reply to  Emma

It is one thing to fall for a jackass — all of us here have done that. Some of us even fell for men who were involved with other women but didn’t do anything about it. A woman who gets involved with a man who she knows to be married, living with, engaged to or otherwise “taken” is a Schmoopie. Don’t expect us to have a whole lot of sympathy for Schmoopies, otherwise known as mate poachers, even if they are rich, talented and beautiful. Natalie Portman got involved with a man who was already in a relationship. She is undeserving of sympathy. As is the young girl your husband was involved with, Monica Lewinsky, Angelina Jolie, and any other mate poacher.

Cas
Cas
8 months ago

Once a cheater, always a cheater.