New Infidelity Euphemisms

Cheating is such an ugly word. That’s why the Reconciliation Industrial Complex has so many euphemisms. Cheating? No, they strayed or were wayward. (Blown off course! Get it? Apparently, the real fault was that they lost their compasses…) Fuck buddy? No, mistress, friend, or lover. So much more sanitized that way.

And cheaters themselves give us so many euphemisms! Disgraced politician Mark Sanford gave us “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” for “AWOL while fucking an Argentinian.” “I’m not going to tell you I’m cheating on you” is “You don’t want me to have any friends” and “You’re a jealous, controlling asshole!”

Well, you get the picture. One of the things we do here at Chump Lady is call a spade a spade. I have my own little vocabulary for infidelity. I call it cheating. I dispense with the soppy sadness of “betrayed spouse” and use “chump” instead. (There are no chumps without con artists.) I say “unicorn” for an unlikely thing we want to believe in, like reconciliation. And if you spend too much time thinking about this shit, I’ll tell you to stop “untangling the skein of fuckupedness.”

Language matters. So your challenge today is to come up with your own cheater euphemisms or translations.

Girlfriend — That person listed “Frank” on his cell phone.

Cheating — “Whistling past the divorce lawyers.”

Your cheater — “Dick dribble”, “The Great Waste”, “Farty McFuckface”

Give the Reconciliation Industrial Complex some new terms to work with. TGIF!

 

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Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago

Uncle Dad: The man who once cheated on me, and now has traded in his five year old daughters for a new fiancé with a shiny new three year old son.

Uncle Dad has supervised visitation, so he has all of the legal rights and decision making capabilities of, say, an uncle.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

It’s a terrible and sad situation, but “Uncle Dad” captures it perfectly.

Soyouseeit2
Soyouseeit2
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Thats what pisses me off
They retain their rights to the children they discarded like yesterdays paper.
They are allowed input and decision making over young developing minds when they are the most illeligible people to do so. Their twisted distorted logic should be kept as far away as possible.
Instead laws courts judges and lawyers protect these assholes and continue the cycle of abuse and help create the next generation of disorder.
My feeling is if you abandon your family and break that contract you lose all rights to that property.
Instead the disordered bounce in an out of kuds lives leaving a trail of shit that they have to wade thru forever.
If your going to leave then get the fuck gone and dont cone back EVER.
Just my humble opinion
Thank you and good night

James Blair
James Blair
4 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

It is a perverted society, ain’t it? In mass media adultery is all present and glorified, it changes consumer’s perception of what is right and what is wrong. Isn’t it so that the no-fault divorce filings are made to specifically protect cheaters and degenerate people?
It’s very disgusting, but we let down the bars on this in 1960’s and earlier than that even. If the stigma was still on adultery the way it should be, things wouldn’t be as bleak as they are right now.

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

There doesn’t seem to be consequences for their behavior. It makes me wonder why anyone bothers reciting marital vows, planning a wedding, inviting friends and family who take tine to attend the wedding some traveling long distance for that matter why or go through the trouble of getting a marriage license if you’re not going to take them seriously.
X lied so much about everything, he didn’t hesitate to continue to lie in court, after being sworn in to tell the truth, after his statements that I’m a pathological liar and an alcoholic, in front of the judge X calmly turned to me and called me a pathological liar…
I was under the assumption that as long as I was honest there wouldn’t be anything to be concerned about. I was wrong, I didn’t realize I was married to a disturbed individual who without a doubt is a sociopath.

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

Take a bow SoYouSeeIt2, applause!

Gail
Gail
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

I say spread the word (marriage is trap) for some! Educate girls in highschool about relationships, babies and the prospect of the legal system destroying their lives based on these choices! Tell them America is no longer a family orientated society! Tell them to realize the mistress is out there ! She may already be in your home, at spouses job, reviewing your finances and planning her attack on your children! These women are truly sad sausages with extremely low self worth but our society glamorizes them! America is society without god!

Sweetz
Sweetz
7 years ago
Reply to  Gail

This comment is exclusively for Gail…if that’s okay?
Gail, are you new here? As you can clearly see…the slightest mention of God here will only result in many comments against Him and most are designed to make you feel kinda stupid for even connecting the dots…even though what you said is crystal clear for some. Notice that no one would dare to step up and defend your right to express your simple observation…but those who believe opposite can feel comfortable here expressing theirs? ONE sentence has resulted in seven comments saying that the continued disposing of moral principles declared by God is NOT really the root of our societal problems. Okay, I’ll bite…then WHAT IS? Not having the right kind of education in High School? FOO issues? Poverty? Stricter rules or better upbringing? Gallows?

So, my recommendation is to go to Divorce Ministers site if you want to expound on the God connection. Here, well you can clearly see what happens by looking at all the people who could not just gracefully ignore your simple observation about a Godless society… basically saying that we don’t need a God or that there isn’t one or we can make up our own principles depending on the results we want outside of His. (Ever wonder where the idea of “adultery” came from? Or liar…or thief…or coveting…or lust…or betrayal…or treason…or extortion?) Everyone here is suffering the effects of those very Biblical violations. Ever wonder how an unbeliever gets ANY idea of what is clearly right vs wrong? Just by the way it “feels”? The newest edition of Cosmopolitan maybe? Our ever changing “laws”? I mock because I know that how we “feel” is no indication of right or wrong…our cheaters would then be justified regardless of the destruction they caused…you know…because how they feel MUST be right, and so by what/who’s moral principle should they be compelled to stop? Our Laws now days actually defend their right to do the worst of wrongs. It was not always this way.

If any of us DARE to say “God”…watch what happens…joining the Fuck thread is deemed to be a better choice for getting better results. Get it?
This is a place where you can vent in the most vile terms as long as you do not bring up His name. You can even get some good advice about steps to protect yourself going forward…practical things that you might not have even thought about. BUT, God is where you can get ACTUAL long term results for whatever is ailing you…if you can learn to lean on Him and trust Him regardless of going through this fire. He is near to the brokenhearted. He will guide your future. Many had the mind bending experience of having a “Jesus Cheaters” (I had one)…but you and I know that they were eventually exposed as being wolves in sheep clothing…they were influenced by demon spirits wearing religious masks…they love the pleasures of Darkness rather than the goodness of light. They. Did. Not. KNOW. Him. Those who cling to God and put their hope in Him will come to know that.

Blessings and His Strength to you Gail,
Sweetz

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  Gail

Gail, Most definitely.., girls need to learn to put themselves first, document everything even when the marriage is seemingly going well.
Trust your instincts.

Should be a required class for all high school girls.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Gail

Agree with WhichWay. There are a lot of ways to learn right from wrong and other tenets of morality. Places of Worship are but one choice. It’s about setting the compass correctly, not who set it.

WhichWayDidSheGo
WhichWayDidSheGo
7 years ago
Reply to  Gail

Hate to break it to you Gail, but there are quite a few of us on here who are atheists. If belief in God is all that keeps someone moral, that person scares the shit out of me.

Margo
Margo
7 years ago

I’m Catholic though more spiritual then religious, I totally agree with you Chumptitude….do the right thing because that’s what your sole should tell you not a “bible” or any any religious reason………PERIOD….everyone should believe as they choose but stop putting God into everything……..please these pieces of shit should do the right thing because in there heart that’s what they want to do….

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago

+4

Belief in God or participating in a religion is not necessary to live a life of high integrity centered around core moral prunciples of human decency.

Roman A Clay
Roman A Clay
7 years ago

+1 This has nothing to do with god. My cheating XW Narc and her AP/New Husband drag my kids to church every Wednesday and Sunday. Doesn’t seem to have made much of a dent in their immorality. Just made them more sanctimonious in their selfish entitlement.

Sadface
Sadface
7 years ago
Reply to  Roman A Clay

Yeah, god talk does nothing to me, except more anger

Sadface
Sadface
7 years ago
Reply to  Sadface

for me*

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
7 years ago
Reply to  Roman A Clay

+2

X and Skanky go to mass together every Sunday. Why the holy communion wafers haven’t burned holes in their ugly faces is a real mystery.

jadedmuse
jadedmuse
7 years ago

Yeah. STBX takes communion every Sunday, still. His ho-worker whore went to Catholic school and started affair with my STBX while she too was still married. Divorced now, and her kid goes to some private Catholic school. I’m sure her whoring, home wrecking ass is dutifully falling in line to receive communion same as my clueless STBX. Assholes, the both.

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Soyouseeit2

Yes! This! You chose to throw your family away and abadon them, you lose your rights!! I’m struggling so hard with this right now. D-bag cheated on me (and our kids) for 2 years then one night decided he “was done”. Cheating on your spouse is also cheating on your kids! 2 years of pick me dancing and trying to do what was best for my kids and our family got me nowhere. Now he expects the kids to accept it all like it’s no big deal and accept OW and respect her. OW seems to think she has the right to tell me what a shitty spouse and mother I was and hopes we can all put this behind us and get along for the kids sake. News flash bitch my kids don’t respect you and never will. They don’t respect their dad either and have been through hell. But I have to sit back and give these assholes visitation and then pick up all the pieces from the damage they caused and continue to cause!!! D-bag owes me for child support and medical too but judges don’t care about that either. He still gets his visitation! Where is the justice?? I’m new here and I’m feeling so angry and violated right now. Could really use some encouragement.

PuanoMom
PuanoMom
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

I think it’s so interesting that the court will say if you speak ill of your ex the kids take that on and you’re speaking ill of them. But by the same token, if the cheater cheated on you it has nothing to do with the kids. He didn’t cheat on the kids and discard his family he only discarded you and it’s just between you and him and has nothing to do with the kids! Such bullshit !

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago
Reply to  PuanoMom

Agree 100%, total bullshit! When a cheater cheats and leaves it has a huge impact on the kids not just the chump! Which is why CL is right when she says kids need to know be told the truth. They were chumped as well!

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

I completely agree, especially if the cheater moves in with their AP and the kids have to go back and forth between homes… That is a mega shit sandwich for the kid and the chump… Ask me how I know…

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Newbi, I will echo Kelli. When I decided there was nothing left to work with and asked myself what I needed for once(!) I decided to try no contact and looked at it as: x fired me as his wife– threw me and our 4 kids away — 25 years- like we were meaningless trash– he lost the RIGHT to have any contact with me! No more access to my phone, texts, voice, friendship, my eyes, my smile, my joy for life, my mind, my friendship, my support. I control myself and I refuse to share any of me with someone who held such contempt and disrespect for me.
Buh-bye douche bag!

My life is so great now! I won 70% of all assets,full custody…all our real estate and cash. I have an awesome sexy boyfriend who adores me and wants me and respects me and shows he does through his actions these past 18 months!

Meh is almost here!

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago

Thanks for the encouragement motherchumper and good for you!!! 20 years and 3 kids for me. I hope I can get there too! MEH here we come!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago

Motherchumper, you ARE right there. Look up at the signpost. Nothing more for the turd who fucked you over, a good life for you. Maybe you need to cross the intersection or go over that footbridge, but you are right there.

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

I think the hardest thing for me still today is accepting that there is no recourse for violating moral law. I try to remind myself that everyone’s moral laws are different (and well… some that have no moral compass at all).

I still haven’t reconciled this in my mind, but I will tell you that if I dwell on it, I know I’m letting his actions control my happiness. When I get stuck, I just remind myself that the best revenge is living a good life.

Your anger is justified, and yes, it’s completely unfair… as it seems like cheaters can do just about whatever they want morally, as long as they aren’t breaking any “laws”. I guess eventually you Just come to accept it, and realize cutting those types of people out of your life is your only recourse.

Cheyenne
Cheyenne
7 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

I DO totally agree that living well is the best revenge, especially in the wake of a cheater, because it just guts them to see that you’re fine without them (it reminds them that the world does not, in fact, revolve around them) BUT…every so often I like to imagine that we all relocate to Saudi Arabia, where there is still a very physical and brutal punishment for adultery. I’d be happy to offer all my fellow chumps first pick of which huge, jagged rock they’d like to throw at my cheater! Oh, and aim for his junk initially, let’s not put him out of his misery too quickly eh? Heehee ?

LisaLisa
LisaLisa
7 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

I am so glad I live in an “at fault” state for divorce. I ended up getting everything–all my retirement, the house, and everything in it. I hate that so many states don’t recognize infidelity as “fault” in a divorce. It’s so screwed up that they can blow up a family and still walk away with 1/2.

Lonelyguy
Lonelyguy
7 years ago
Reply to  LisaLisa

I think no fault contributes to divorce rates. My STBX knew that she would get 50% including my military retirement. That is what she is bringing as her financial contribution to their relationship. Without that money I don’t know if the OM would have been willing to move from Nevada to FL and buy or support the cow. They had planned and knew exactally what she would bring before I found out everything

OnceUponATimeChump
OnceUponATimeChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonelyguy

Lonely Guy,
Check on that part about your X getting half of your retirement. I was told by my lawyer that my soon-to-be-X can be kept from having any of my pension and 401K!

I feel for you and understand where you are…heartbreaking.

Stay strong!

he'llgethis
he'llgethis
7 years ago
Reply to  LisaLisa

Amen!!!!!!

DontMessWitMe
DontMessWitMe
7 years ago
Reply to  LisaLisa

Yah LisaLisa, when this is done, I’m going to see what I can do to change the laws in my state.

QueenMother
QueenMother
7 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Hi Got-A-Brain — you say there is no recourse for violating moral law? Here is what I have done:

— inform the church’s administrative board
— tell the police what he looks like and his car make/model/color for picking up prostitutes — I was told “We’ll eventually bust him, he will get caught.”
— arrested for domestic violence
— listed affair partners for depositions
— made use of free therapy for abuse survivors
— warned neighbors of his “peeping tom” habit

So, there may be no recourse, there may be, but wherever I could, I pressed told and asked for help: quietly and with dignity.

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Thank you got-a-brain. This too is my struggle! D-bag and OW homewrecker are happily moving on with their lives with no consequences whatsoever! It kills me. And to make it worse they have the nerve to blame me for the marriage failing. Leave me alone already! Sick to death of D-bag not paying his child support or bills he agreed to pay then lying about me to everyone he sees and not a damn thing happens to him!! I want justice and consequences so bad…

Isis
Isis
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

My ex called cheating “getting support,” as in, “But I needed support because you were being so mean to me by questioning where I was and who I was texting after midnight while not in bed with you.” She walked away and it looks like she’s having a great life on the outside, but she’s a mess on the inside. Sure, I get sad sometimes when I think about what my life was supposed to be like at this age, and I still get angry when she takes the kids out for an expensive dinner that I can’t afford (because she needs to blackmail them into watching our dog that she took away when she goes on trips with her gf), but I no longer feel anxious, because I am not being constantly screwed over, lied to, and rejected. I am no longer an emotional hostage. I have my LIFE back.

Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

And don’t feel bad about breaking no contact. It happens. We all make mistakes. Just know to do better next time. A few weeks ago, Uncle Dad texted me saying he was going to hold me in contempt if I didn’t let him see his daughters. I held it together fairly well. I said he wouldn’t be able to do anything until he paid his attorney.

I have found that complete and utter disdain works exceptionally well with disordered wingnuts if your goal is to get them to leave you alone. Not anger. Disdain. There is a difference.

Two strategies you might try that worked for me:

First, I saved him in my phone contact as Idiotic Twat. That way when I saw the name, I laughed and didn’t get mad. I was ready for whatever lame crap I knew he was about to pull. It was always a scheme, and I was ready.

Second, for about a year and a half, I decided that I was only going to communicate with him via text and with emojis. This was advice from a friend of mine. She said it helped her while waiting for court. Thumbs up for yes, thumbs down for no. It keeps things short and sweet. You can’t get too wordy and therefore get yourself in trouble by saying too much. You can’t cuss someone out with an emoji. Also, it subtly communicates that they aren’t even worth typing words. Just pictures. Oh, it made him so mad, too. So, that was fun.

Lady B
Lady B
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Mine is saved as the poo emoji x 4 in my contacts

Butterbean
Butterbean
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Kelli- You are kicking ass and taking names, a bon fide inspirational Rock Star. I don’t know you, but I am so proud of you.

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Again Kelli, your advice is priceless! I have sole physical custody of my kids which is a blessing.

Just contacted my attorney to get contempt process started. I was going to wait a while and give him a chance to make things right but after reading your comments I’ve decided to go for it now.

I have to stand up to him. I have to be strong. Thank you! You’ll never know how much you’ve helped me today! Hugs Kelli and Chump Nation!

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

? ? Who says you can’t cuss with emojis?!

Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Something like 3% of rebound relationships actually work out in the end. So they might be happy now, but I doubt it lasts. My ex was with the last OW he had when I filed for divorce about 9 months or so. They didn’t live together, and one morning when he didn’t answer her calls, she drove over to his house only to find him in bed with another woman.

Leopards do not change their spots, newbie. He did it to you. He will do it to her. Have you ever considered that they are putting such a happy face on things because they want everyone to think they are so happy, when really they are realizing what a mess everything is? Blended families are very hard. All of the experts recommend time to heal alone after the end of a relationship. Here they are out of the pot and into the fire. Their odds of happiness are slim.

Talk to your attorney about him not paying child support and bills he has agreed to pay. Start the process of holding him in contempt and garnishing his wages.

You have dealt consequences to him. He’s having to pay for an attorney, which isn’t cheap. He’s making up lies to tell family and friends about why the marriage ended. People aren’t stupid. If he is living with someone this soon, they know why. He has to live somewhere other than his home with his children. He only sees them during his visitation.

Talk to your attorney about visitation. In my state, at age 9 the judge begins to factor in the kid’s choice when determining custody. If they do not want to go to their dad’s, then that may help.

Also, living with a woman he is not married to might help. I live in the deep south, and I can actually have it put in my custody papers that my ex cannot have guests of the opposite sex after 10pm except blood relatives. Mine is not allowed overnight visits, so it doesn’t matter.

Get smart about what you send to his attorney. When my ex refused to pay bills he was ordered to pay, I faxed copied of receipts to his attorney’s office. 85 pages. 3 times a week. Never in the same order. His attorney billed him for an hour each time I sent a fax. $250. That’s how my ex ended up with $35,000 in attorney bills, and I ended up with sole custody. My attorney was my stepmom.

But, most importantly, and I say this as kindly as possible, find a way to move past it. The more you think about it, the harder it is to get over. It’s never going to be fair. It’s never going to feel like justice has been served. They never suffer enough for the pain they cause you. They never “get it” about how much they hurt you, no matter how many 18 page letters you write trying to explain. They never apologize and really mean it.

You have to find peace with knowing that you dodged a bullet. Yes, you married a scumbag, but on the bright side, you are no longer married to a scumbag. Meh comes when you start planning your life after divorce. You have been given a blank canvas. You can do whatever you want with it. That’s the best part of all of this!

SouthernBelleHell
SouthernBelleHell
6 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Kelli – same situation and need your advice in LA!

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Welcome newbie. We are all here for you. Navigating through the shit storm is not easy believe me we all know. Im four years from d day and over a year divorced. It hurts i still hurt but it does get better i promise you that. I wasnt until i got indifferent about a year in i was able to handle the madness better. Get indifferent, get angry dont show those motherfuckers your soft white underbelly. I straightened my spine, looked that asswipe in the face and said you cant hurt me anymore! And stuck it out for awhile to gain my life and you will too. Find cl “cool, bummer, wow” and apply it it sure helped me. Come back, rant, rave, cry, yell we are all here for you. Big hugs!!

Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Newbie, I totally understand your anger. I was there too. I still find my way back there sometimes. In my state (Louisiana), a parent can’t sign over their rights to a child unless there is another person who is willing to adopt the child right then.

It’s ridiculous, I know, but I think the thinking is that if a parent relinquishes rights, then that parent also gives up responsibility for paying child support too. As long as they are still on the hook for the rights then they are on the hook for child support.

Uncle Dad owes me about $10,000 in back child support because he has quit his job where his garnishment was active and found a new job. He refuses to tell me where he works now. So, I have refused to allow him to see my children–not that he actually saw them anyway. He threatens to file for contempt, which is funny because he left his attorney owing over $20,000. His attorney won’t file anything in his case until he pays the bill.

What makes me so sad is that my girls have asked me to find them a new daddy. My youngest has started calling her father by his first name. Last night, my oldest asked my dad, her grandfather, if he would be her daddy. This is what breaks my heart for my girls.

I make it a point never to editorialize when speaking of their father. When they ask why he doesn’t live with us anymore, I told them that daddy broke a promise to mommy. They asked what kind of promises daddy broke, so I said daddy had their little half brother with someone else when married to mommy, mommy couldn’t live with daddy anymore after that.

Newbie, I was lucky in that my attorney is my step mom, and one of the best pieces of advice she gave me what never to expect anything from him. He has shown me who he is, so believe him.

When I filed for divorce, my ex had found Twu Luv with his ho-worker, after getting another ho-worker pregnant, and left me (a stay-at-home mom) high and dry. He stopped paying any of the bills. The first paycheck he got, after packing a bag and leaving while I was at the zoo about an hour away with the kids, without so much as leaving a note, went into another account that I didn’t have access to.

That was January, 2014.

By April, I was begging family for grocery money and my utilities were about to be cut off. I filed for divorce in May with a house in foreclosure, a car about to be repossessed, and an overdrawn checking account. And, no job.

Now, 3 years later, I make more money than him, I have my house, my job which I love, a new car, and my girls. I’m happy, and the divorce is a distant memory. It’s a shitty thing that happened in the past. I’ve moved on and made a life that is my own. I’m too busy with kindergarten mom stuff and work and my own hobbies to really even think about it all.

You have to learn to never expect any better from a cheating asshole. Don’t depend on them. They cheated on you. You couldn’t trust them in your marriage. Why in the hell do you think you can trust them now? Don’t depend on them for money. Any money you get, treat it as a bonus.

Depend on yourself. You can trust you. It also turns you into one hell of a badass who believes in yourself. Once you reframe all of this from life happening to you to the perspective of YOU happening TO life, then amazing things happen.

Big hugs!!!

jadedmuse
jadedmuse
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Agreed – Kelli, great post, thanks!! That last sentencing about re-framing Life is AWESOME and empowering – thanks for the kick ass reminder.

Lady B
Lady B
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

You rock,’ frown at puppies ‘ made me laugh, you are mighty indeed.

Whodoesthat
Whodoesthat
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

True!!!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Kelli, and that same POS is probably STUNNED that you had the wherewithal to exist and persist and rebuild after he left you high and dry. The disordered generally want to see the suffering that they cause, and convince themselves that only they can alleviate that pain by tossing the occasional breadcrumb to keep their victims in line. Cutting all that groveling out of the story is hard for them to take. YOU ROCK!

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Love you Kelli, amazing post.

And newbie, it sounds like he’s fucked himself anyway, given you lots of cards to work with. Wish mine would play into my hands like that. Stay blessed

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago
Reply to  MidlifeBlast

Thank you Kelli! I needed to hear this today. You’re right, I shouldn’t expect anything from him. I’m guess I’m still in shock and can’t seem to comprehend how he can do what he does? I thought I knew this man. He blames me for our marriage failing and has been telling my kids and others I cheated on him. I want to get to MEH so badly but this hurts like hell.

NewbieChump
NewbieChump
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Kelli–your words are a lifesaver for me today! Just yesterday I engaged with ex after being no contact for a month and I hate myself for it today.

I confronted him about the lies and crap he is saying about me and it turned into a screaming match with him telling me how awful I was as a wife and still am as a mother. But you are right..look at the source. His credibility is shit. Anyone who truly knows me knows I did not cheat on him.

I am trying to tell myself that I was a good wife, I was faithful and I did everything I could. Sometimes that’s enough to get me through. Sometimes his words hurt me so bad I can barely function.

I want to be strong! No..I will be strong! I will do this and supportive people like you and CL who have been through the same shit storm are helping me move forward.

I beat myself up but one step forward, two steps back I guess. It’s been 7 months since he walked out the door and I’m feeling stronger everyday. Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement!

JJ
JJ
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Too true Kelli! I can’t quite believe how badass I’ve become in the same timeframe as you. Investing and trusting in myself is such a new approach to life! But my kids, and my daughter in particular, are watching and learning.

Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago
Reply to  NewbieChump

Why does he do what he does? He is a shitty person. Why does a person promise to marry someone, then never stop dating? He is a shitty person.

Why does a person lose custody on a Wednesday and convert his daughters’ room into a room for his girlfriend’s son on Thursday? He’s a shitty person. Why does a man say that he lost custody because of a technicality in his lawyer’s wording of his pleading? He’s a shitty person. And a liar.

You ask why he blames you and says you’re cheating. He does it because it shifts the blame from him to you. He can’t be wrong. Oh hell no. He is Mr. Sparkles. He’s Mr. Awesome from Awesome Town. He doesn’t make mistakes. No, that girlfriend he has? Well, you made him do it. You were mean, and angry, and you frowned at puppies, and loaded the dishwasher wrong, and put the milk in the door of the refrigerator when he *told* you that is not how to do it. So you drove him to do it. There was no other way. And, besides, you started it. You cheated on him first. That’s his story.

I caught my ex’s escapades when I went through his phone and saw his text conversations dating back over a year. Not only did I see the many, many (soooo many) women he was screwing, and the sonogram picture of his child (conceived on our youngest’s 2nd birthday), but I also saw the text conversations he had with his mother going back months.

He sobbed operatically to his mother about how crazy and unhinged I was. His mother was mounting this ludicrous campaign to have me involuntarily committed to a 72 hour psych hold for observation. My ex’s grandmother gave him the money to hire an attorney to start the process to have a court hearing to order the psych hold.

Luckily, my ex is a special breed of malignant narcissist with addiction issues, and he blew through the lawyer money on drugs and booze. Also, I’m not crazy.

So, yes, people who cheat, also have the tendency to lie and steal. My advice is not to engage. I referee the same arguments with my two 5 year olds. The conversations go like this:

Child: Mommy, she called me a [child-like insult]
Me: Do you think you are a [insult]?
Child: No
Me: Well, then who cares what she thinks?

Newbie, do you think you were a bad wife? Did you cheat? Moreover, your ex is a KNOWN LIAR! So why do you even care what he thinks or says about you? He’s not exactly a credible source. He’s the 5 year old of character expert, here. You took his cake away, so now you’re a stupidhead. You’re going to let that upset you? Be the adult.

You will always be your children’s mother. He can’t take that away from you. It may look hopeless now, but you will always win out. You’re their mom. You haven’t changed. They know what your heartbeat sounds like from the inside. He can’t compete with that. You got this, girl!

MudlifeBlast
MudlifeBlast
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Love you Kelli, amazing post.

And newbie, it sounds like he’s fucked himself anyway, given you lots of cards to work with. Wish mine would play into my hands like that. Stay blessed

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Love this! Well, the term. Not the fact that he’s a cheater and uninvolved dad.

Longtimechump
Longtimechump
7 years ago

Cheater’s words:

Main Whore/AP: Split-soul that once reunited with the cheater’s split part is there forever.

Other occasional whores: “just for fun”, different personalities that needed to be explored on the most inner level.

Cheating=curiosity that i can’t understand with my boring preferences.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Longtimechump

Also, I remember the term whorecrux from a CL post – the concept of how they split themselves (I’m reluctant to say soul) among their many whores, compartmentalizing.

ANC
ANC
7 years ago
Reply to  Longtimechump

Yeah. Commitment and monogamy are SOOOOOO boring.

BeowulfSabrina
BeowulfSabrina
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

SO BOORING, yes, and such an outdated concept, why couldn’t i be progressive like him and his 4 times married whore who still managed to rack up at least 3 other broken marriages under her belt AND be polyamory when it suited her so that’s where hub got it from. He didn’t cheat, he just “TOOK ANOTHER LIFE PATH”.
Right.
Asshole, I took a life path too, right to the divorce attny’s office. HELLO consequences!

Attie
Attie
7 years ago

I’m kinda embarrassed to say this but I used to refer to the ex as “Pencil Dick” or “Spaghetti Legs” – behind his back of course – no point looking for another beating. Then there was his “when we decided to separate” which in actual fact meant “six weeks after I moved in with the skank and stopped coming home completely, even introduced our kids to the skank, and then brought them with me as “bodyguards” to tell you I was going to divorce you and to expect the papers”. Which was strange really because I ended up filing as I guess it was “too much work for him”.

Feistyginger
Feistyginger
7 years ago
Reply to  Attie

I call mine Asswipe. I keep an excel sheet of what he owes each month for the kids’ expenses (I nailed his dumbass financially). I have the total labeled AW TOTAL. I cut and paste the info into an email each month. I usually delete the AW, but not always! Would love for him to ask me what it stands for. I wouldn’t tell him. Keep him wondering. Makes me smile. ?

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  Feistyginger

AW Total – I love it! Makes me smile, too! 🙂

Khris
Khris
7 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Wow, my ex also put on her Facebook that “we decided to separate”!

No, we didn’t decide, you decided to have a boyfriend! I didn’t have any part of that decision, did I? That’s what she should have put on her Facebook. But as I have found out, honesty is not her strong suit.

AN
AN
7 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Forgot that one! the MISTAKE.

18+yrs of mistaking rando’s, ho workers, aff’s, ‘massage’ people, xgfs , MOWs for me, the chump.

It was a MISTAKE when I told you I was meeting a client when I was actually meeting the MOW at the Hyatt on lake-cook. Man it was a mistake she was on a plane from LAX, landed at ORD and ended up at a hotel 5 miles from our home!

( one of the many MISTAKES by asshat)

NOW-I-KNOW-WHAT-HELL-LOOKS-LIKE
NOW-I-KNOW-WHAT-HELL-LOOKS-LIKE
7 years ago
Reply to  AN

Recognize your references: Lake-Cook and ORD. Is it just me or is Illinois crammed FULL of cheaters and hos??? Especially Northern Illinois?!! The “Hub City” west of DeKalb is literally crawling with them. Ugh!

Roley
Roley
7 years ago
Reply to  AN

AN,

“Mistake” love this! Yes mine said he made a “big mistake” yeah like forgetting to take out the trash or something.

Cheers to you AN!

KCChump
KCChump
7 years ago

One Mistaker: I only made one mistake, her favorite saying, even though she did it over and over again for three months, with two different guys.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago
Reply to  KCChump

Selections from the Kunty Kibbler “All About Me” Urban Dictionary:

mean
(adjective) calling me out on my own behavior, to the point where I become uncomfortable
“Why do you have to be so mean by bringing that I fucked a guy in our bed?”

move forward
(verb) completely erase any memory of my cheating from your mind, so that I can self-manage my image
“Why can’t you just find a way to move forward instead of dwelling on the past?”

healthy
(adjective) blissfully devoid of all memory of my cheating and mindfucking
“You may not believe this, but all I want is for you to be healthy.”

your children
(noun) the appliances I use to force my chump to break No Contact/Grey Rock
“It’s too bad you can’t interact with me for the sake of your children.”

The person I was always meant to be
(noun) the qualities and behaviors I am exhibiting at this moment, as determined by the person from whom I am trying to extract kibbles
“When I’m with you, I feel like I’m finally able to be the person I was always meant to be.”

———————–

Cast of Characters

The Kunty Kibbler = my cheater

The Tuftsy Builder = AP #1
The Bass-playing Druggie Slap Machine (BDSM) = AP #2
The Stockinged Fryer = live-in bisexual girlfriend of BDSM
The Frat Boy = AP #3
The Tattoed Gymdad = AP #4
The Country Lifter = AP #5
The Carrot Singer = AP #6
The Creepy Writer (aka Knight of the Purple Dildo) = post-filing polyamorous fuckbuddy #1, and current main squeeze
The Bearded Chef = post-filing polyamorous fuckbuddy #2
The Harvard Garven = post-filing polyamorous fuckbuddy #3
And the Rest (all of those I don’t know about)

Stephanie
Stephanie
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Dear GOD.

She must have been exhausting to be with. She’s such a fucking vampire. Never satisfied, never happy, always chasing, running running running after something that isn’t and never was and never will be.

Kelli
Kelli
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Yeah, in the South we call girls like her The Town Bicycle. Because everyone gets a ride….

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Calling from Burning Man for permission to do something you might not approve of? Something there sounds off to me.

gorillapoop
gorillapoop
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

My authentic self = the asshole that I have always been, but am now demonstrating to you in such a way that no amount of spackling can excuse, so you are forced to divorce me. Such as calling from Burning Man with a demand that we open our marriage so he can explore his newfound interest in kink (S&M). “The price of becoming my authentic self is a high one, but it’s worth it to me at any price.”

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  gorillapoop

Yes!! Same as the cheaters guiltingbthe chump for not loving them ‘unconditionally’

My new answer for that – “would you choose a cheating lying coward as the one person you promise to cherish and love as your spouse? Would you choose Maddoff as your CPA and the person managing your 401k money? Yeah, me neither.”

Trust the cheaters suck…

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Laughing so hard right now, UX. You take the KK horror show and make it…funny, in a tragic sort of way.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

@LovedAJackass — it’s like some sort of mondo, perverted Canterbury Tales, isn’t it?

(Uh-oh — I see a parody on the horizon…)

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

I’m mean. TheLimited always gets to implant something to devalue.

Just to clear that up, he lives with a crazy woman.

Cheated 18 times that I know of; hell when I’m mean it will be a knock out blow.

Just saying.

Skinwalker
Skinwalker
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

UX,

How I would love,to find the “carrot singer” on YouTube!

As for Creepy Writer, once you mentioned he was in the audience for one of your performances.

What was up with that? I’m curious as to how that situation came about that he attended your performance.

Skinwalker
Skinwalker
7 years ago
Reply to  Skinwalker

Especially attending your performance with his own chump wife in tow.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago
Reply to  Skinwalker

@skinwalker — and I’d love to direct people to that video, but that’s risky as you may well imagine. Especially since he appears with his wife (whom I suspect is divorcing him now); I’d rather not risk public comments directed at either one of them if she is indeed getting away from him.

As for the Creepy Writer (and I should have made is alias “Rider of the Purple Dildo” instead) — he miraculously started taking up story telling last summer, 5 months after I started doing it. (On his website he now calls himself “Author and Storyteller.) There a local competitions monthly, so there’s nothing to keep us from running into each other at them if we’re both intent on doing this as a hobby.

I can’t vouch for Creepy Writer Wife being a chump — KK was telling anyone who would listen that, despite having two children together, had ‘mutually decided they no longer wanted to be married, but couldn’t afford to get divorced” (though in the latest GAL paperwork, KK testifies that he is now in the process). Given what type of life KK presented as wanting to have, I suppose it’s possible that CW and wife have some type of open marriage understanding and that she’s aware of who KK is (and, because she’s seen me at these telling events, who I am). It’s taken every bit of my strength to keep from walking over, introducing myself and asking her, “WTF? Do you know what’s going on?”

Skinwalker
Skinwalker
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Yeah I know you can’t give that information and if I did happen to find it, I would not disclose the location of it on the web either.

Sucks that Creepy Writer decided to take up that hobby too! Bleechhhhh!

Anita
Anita
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

God, what a whore. Eeewww. Everyone in her city needs to be std tested.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

“And the rest …” brought to mind the original Gilligan’s Island theme song. I am sorry you know of them well enough to provide such descriptive names. KK is such a POS. I hate her.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

#AlwaysMeantToBeACunt

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

She sure is.

Elsie
Elsie
7 years ago
Reply to  KCChump

Such a hoot, she was!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

CN employs a wealth of creative terminology! I like to call his present arrangement Affairytale. As long as I can call him gone!

ImAPhool
ImAPhool
7 years ago

Hahaha, nice. Not the kind we grew up hearing about thats for sure.

Aeronaut
Aeronaut
7 years ago

neverwouldfaveimagined,

Affairytale. That’s brilliant, completely combines the seediness and the fantasy aspects. And remember, most fairy tales have a certain darkness to them, until Disney gets ahold of them and sanitizes them.

Hugs.
aeronaut

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Love it, NWHI!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago

Lol! Love that, NWHI.

brit
brit
7 years ago

“indescretion”

ANC
ANC
7 years ago
Reply to  brit

Tempted.

Wtf. Chocolate is a temptation, not a fat ass loser at a bar. Magical powers of the prolapse and the unfettered drive of a powerful penis.

ANC
ANC
7 years ago

My terms are pretty grotesque … cheaters are too.

* the illicit enema aka true love xhamster reenactments
* alternative clean aka Petri dish of festering diseases to give these gifts to the unsuspecting
* parental enhancement aka cheating makes me a better parent
* progressive relationship building aka cheating improves ME! ME! ME!
* “my needs” aka all about ME syndrome
* Disney dad/ Disney mom aka parent who is there for FUN! No real parenting with the unglorified daily living with kids
* he or she ‘gets’ me aka found someone who is as devoid of character and morals as myself while being attached to a Chumpy SO
* my spouse/so is frigid, repressed aka got busted wanking to nubile creepy porn; desperately seeking reenactment partner

That’s all I have for now.

VulcanChump
VulcanChump
7 years ago

Prince Charisma – Rhys
Prince Charmless – Mac

yooper01
yooper01
7 years ago

I call my X , Rainman, because all he brings to the table is tears. I call the OW , Storytail, because she writes shitty books and is his current piece of tail.

Lldodd60
Lldodd60
7 years ago

Ex is refered to by me as Prince Charming and his partner Cinderella. She needed him to rescue her from a life of drudgery and be her sugar daddy.

Redstarrising
Redstarrising
7 years ago

I refer to my cheater as df, aka dickface. Even my attorney refers to him as df in conversations and when in court with him.

Cactusflower
Cactusflower
7 years ago
Reply to  Redstarrising

I refer to mine as “TF” – trannyfucker. (One of the dozens of people he screwed!) also “PM” -Public Masturbator. Now that I am in the state of MEH, he’s referred to as Keyser Soze (Kevin Spaceys character from “the usual suspects” ) because his con was/is so jaw dropping, it had his family, some friends (some knew who he was and sat idly by) his employer, and my friends and family blown away once he was exposed.

Ugh no...
Ugh no...
7 years ago
Reply to  Cactusflower

Keyser Söze, perfect. The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing people he didn’t exist.
If that doesn’t nail it, I don’t know what does.

jadedmuse
jadedmuse
7 years ago
Reply to  Ugh no...

I’m totally borrowing the “affairytale”. It’s spot ON and describes “the dream”! Love love love it!!!!

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
7 years ago

I have moved on: As if our 20 year marriage, 2 kids, and me pregnant was just something that didn’t work out. You know, kind of like when you decide to leave a little of dinner on your plate to move onto dessert.

Aeronaut
Aeronaut
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

My ex used, “I’ve checked out of this relationship,” to me. My reply, “Marriage isn’t a hotel that you check into and out of at your convenience.” She didn’t respond.

Hugs.
aeronaut

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Aeronaut

If it were a hotel, mine would have had a revolving door for sure. All kinds of people checking in and out! Maybe there was some kind of group discount rate?

ANC
ANC
7 years ago
Reply to  GetMeFree

Ouch.

‘we grew apart’ ‘ we wanted different things’ ‘ we turned into roommates’

WE statements. Any kind of WE statement coming out of he mouths of liars. (I like to shut that shit down because all the ‘WE’ crap was done without the knowledge of the Chump so it cannot be a WE decision or action.)

jadedmuse
jadedmuse
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

Yep. Just ran down this conversation last night. Informed my fucker that “we” will be looking at extravagant legal fees if he keeps up that bullshit. HE made a unilateral decision to cheat and discard; alternative options were always available at any given time, but HE made a CHOICE and that choice was to go the dishonest and dishonorable route. That’s not my style, and, no “we” in that.

jadedmuse
jadedmuse
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

Oh hell the Keysor Soze reference is perfect!

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

This!!!!!!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

“We grew apart,” my personal favorite, = “I tried to fuck any attractive woman under 30, and it affected how I treated my wife.”

NoKibble4U
NoKibble4U
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Also counts if they fucked an unattractive woman – like my XH did. 🙂

Hurt1
Hurt1
7 years ago
Reply to  NoKibble4U

Also counts as I picked & fucked the lowest piece of hanging fruit I could find.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Hurt1

Lol! Any port in a storm, I guess.

Longtimechump
Longtimechump
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

He sent me a “We vs I” video recently as he was accusing me of my focus on “I” – my huge ego that could not take this shit anymore. The funny part was that in 12 years together he never used “we” but it was always you vs me. He was always able to come up with reasons on why we didn’t have to have joint bank accounts, why we couldn’t travel together, why “we” was such a killer of his spirits and “I” was just so original. Why would the “I”-guy want to suddenly switch to “we”-guy and start preaching how he wants a drama free life and how he is so focused on our kid’s well-being and I am just focused on my own ego and needs. Mindfuck of epic proportions.

I am still a “we” person. Only not with him anymore. My son and I together is a “we”. You rot in “I-shit”, cheater. Ariverderci!

lldodd60
lldodd60
7 years ago
Reply to  ANC

OOOOHHHHH I heard those too!

April06
April06
7 years ago

Cheater ex is ‘c×%#y clown” or cc for short & she is ‘boss hog”. Suits them.

Murphy Cee
Murphy Cee
7 years ago

We deposed my cheater during divorce proceedings & my lawyer nicknamed him:
Sweaty McSweaterson. He said he’d never seen someone busted in so many lies he practically drowned in his own sweat. I guess this makes his OW Sweates McSweaterson!

Clementine
Clementine
7 years ago
Reply to  Murphy Cee

I’m laughing out loud. 😛

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Murphy Cee

Hahaha!

Clementine
Clementine
7 years ago

My cheater is now Jagaloon McGee. 🙂

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Clementine

So Funny! Ties with Nanthony!! ha ha

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  Clementine

Clemmy this makes me laugh every time you write it. It’s up there with “Narkles the Clown and the Flying Whore” as the All-time best in my book.

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Oh, and the episodes of “Clementine sees right through Jagaloon McGee”… I love that you so have him pegged!

Clementine
Clementine
7 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

I never thought my life would be a telenovela… but now that it is, I might as well come up with creative titles for each episode of the crazy buffet. Sigh!

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  Clementine

I often refer to my life as a made for TV movie, but now that you mention it Telenovela is a better comparison. Made for TV movies have a beginning, middle and eventually end in a reasonable amount of time.
My life is an endless drama, I never know what to expect.
I’ll think there’s nothing more he can do to disrupt my life he does.
It’s truly unbelievable the crap he comes up with..

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  Clementine

Exactly right, sister! Hugs.

DunChumpin
DunChumpin
7 years ago

I made a list with 20. I erased them. They make me sick. No more room in my head for them.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  DunChumpin

Ooh, Yes. How about terms for CN and recovery? I know I call the chumps on the Fuckthread my squad!

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago

T-shirts. We need t-shirts y’all!

Aletheia
Aletheia
7 years ago

Kool kids table for sure! (Not just scal, of course)

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago

Yes! FN = my tribe! : )

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago

Because mine’s a serial cheater to the nth degree, I call him/them Fuckwit and the Cum Dumpsters.

He’s a gangster gaslighter, too.

Margo
Margo
7 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Gangster Gaslighter ! Love this! I’ll need to start using this too. I just refer to him as DH or DB – Dickhead or Douche Bag!

Clementine
Clementine
7 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

This sounds like the name of a terrible cover band. I love it.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Yes! Lol

Cccc uk edition
Cccc uk edition
7 years ago

My ex is simply Chuckles because he’s never made me laugh except by accident. The ex friend OW is Slaggy-Anne Whoreson as if you change a couple of letters. You have her real name. What can I say it was a gift. I do call her Slaggy for short.

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago

My ex once told a friend after D-day that he sees himself as a gladiator, always suited up and ready to go into glorious battle as the center of attention. If he said it once, one might write it off as an annoyingly hyperbolic metaphor. But he repeated this ridiculous self-aggrandizing shit like 20 times. I like to pair this with one of my son’s favorite cartoon characters, Lightning McQueen, a pompous, narcissistic race car.

So my ex has earned the nickname Gladiator McQueef.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

When I first read this, I thought it said that he sees himself as a gallbladder. I like that better.

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Something that causes major pain until it’s gone, then your life is better without it and you can’t figure out what it ever did for you in the first place? I like it better!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

I use “the ex” and “the skeevy ex” (not “my” because he isn’t “my” anything) along with “that guy I accidentally married”.

Others:

– He has a fidelity problem. I do not. Therefore, we weren’t compatible.

– He prefers children. I prefer well-adjusted adults. (His third wife was 16, no lie. He was in his 30’s. I was the first wife.)

– I was several years too old for him when he met me. (We were 19.)

They aren’t particularly funny, I know. These days, I prefer not to speak of it all in too charged a way when I discuss it aloud. I like meh, and I strive to mostly stay there.

Aeronaut
Aeronaut
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Amiisfree,

Sounds like the ex is working towards that magical ‘half my age’ barrier. Once he turns 36 (or 34 in some states) it will even be legal. Or do you think he might shoot for the stars and go for one third his age.

You have my sympathies. At least when he was with you, you two were close in age.

Hugs. Strength. Peace.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Aeronaut

He typically marries a woman around his age. The super young wife was a one-off. I think he’s on marriage 5 or 6 now. The APs are often, but not always, young and pangender. He is easy to follow online. I look in every so often to see if he is coming back to this area. So far, he has not, and I could not be happier. I don’t feel sad about losing him anymore. It’s the best thing that ever happened. I most feel sad for the destroyed people he leaves in his wake.

Thanks for the support, and right backatchya!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

As for the AP’s, I call them the “cast of thousands” and “one of the many” because there were SOOOOOO many.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

“the backup singers”

kiwichump
kiwichump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

10 inches from stardom.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Fucktard fancied himself a musician, at least as much as a delusional tone-deaf manchild who couldn’t follow a beat could, so he had “groupies.”

Attie
Attie
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Oh my God, pencil dick used to fancy himself a singer/songwriter à la John Denver. At the beginning he actually wrote songs for me which were SO TERRIBLE I was wiping tears (of laughter) from my eyes, but which the narc took to be tears of emotion. Fast forward 20 years and drunk pencil dick used to sing (repeatedly) the first five or six bars of a few tunes then forget the rest. And of course, the more he drank the worse the sound of someone torturing a cat came through. Recently my neighbour commented how they had wanted to call the cops when he sat outside at 3 am screeching but never did for my sake. Ha ha, I knew I wasn’t mad.

Ugh no...
Ugh no...
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Man, the imagined musicians are always the worst. The level of insanity I listened to daily made only worse by his new girlfriend and soulmate the other musician who couldn’t play an instrument. Not even the triangle or xylophone- which my kids mastered in third grade.
Now they song off key in awful pitchy screeches while strumming ukuleles on you tube. Yay!

Other Kat
Other Kat
7 years ago
Reply to  Ugh no...

Oh lord, don’t get me started on ukuleles! They seem to give even the most talentless of narcissists the opportunity to regale the world with their imaginary musical virtuosity. X happens to be a good musician, but it wasn’t until he started playing the uke that he went from playing at home by himself to creating a youtube channel and playing gigs in a Hawaiian shirt.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Other Kat

Fucktard “played” piano and guitar, both horrifically. To the point that I bought a metronome to assist his timing and even recorded his “art” so maybe he could objectively evaluate it. Nope, it all sounded like chart-toppers to him. He had this fantasy of playing coffee houses, but was laughed offstage when he tried that at the university where he did his research. That was widely reported, though I was not there. He said he would be too nervous, but now I’d bet $100 he had another potential victim in the audience and could not allow his universes to collide.

FreeNow
FreeNow
7 years ago
Reply to  Ugh no...

But her real musical talent is playing the skin flute. Ha ha ha…

So happy to be free from Turd McTurdson and Skank! Flushed my toilet, took out the trash and life looks and smells a whole lot better.

hopiumrecovery
hopiumrecovery
7 years ago
Reply to  Ugh no...

Gosh, did we share the same Durtbag and his slut puppet? Funny thing is neither has a day job, and now they are having a baby. Poor satan’s spawn…..guess slut puppet will have to go back to her waitressing profession to help support Life at disfunction junction. Hahaha. Karma…..

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
7 years ago

I learned the term Schmoopie to refer to the OW on this site. I like it. It implies a certain contempt and lack of respect for the AP without being vulgar. Not that there is anything wrong with vulgar and the APs certainly are vulgar, it just isn’t my style.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

I call her Homewrecker for the same reasons.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
7 years ago

The PI I hired said cheater ex looked like Saddam crawling out of his hole, called him that for a while. The OW is pathetic, complete loser. I was reading yesterday’s post today and noticed the OW called her married cheater ‘soul mate’. So did the loser call exasshole. Soul-less mate?

PF
PF
7 years ago

It’s not politically correct to disparage the “wayward” and the “soulmate other”. To call them Cheaters…..Douche…Manwhore…..Whore…..Slut…..etc… is insensitive.

The acceptable response is to romanticise the sensitive wayward and their soulmate and propel their victimhood. Everyone knows they wouldn’t “wander” if their spouse fulfilled their needs and to also recognise that their “lover….lovers” are performing an act of sheer goodness and are martyrs.

Waywards and the Others need a safe space…they should not be ridiculed….they should be respected and not called names.

If they hurt you, it’s not their fault….they are Wayward snowflakes and Other snowflakes. To call them cheaters and bad names is a sign of discrimination. it’s not them who need to change but those who judge them that are the problem.

Barf……

Lolololol…..Namaste Y’all

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
7 years ago
Reply to  PF

The romanticising is the absolute pits. I had a (former) friend tell me that it was so terribly sad to love two people at once in our society. Implying that I was obviously the barrier to some fantastic, windswept, epic love story. This despite my ex telling her outright that he never loved the OW and that he told the OW he didn’t love her. That he had fucked up when he had some life stressors and that he didn’t even LIKE the OW. This ‘friend’ decided that we never had a (nearly 30 year) love story, that I was shit in bed, and that OW was all that. And again, the ex told her the opposite. That we had amazing, exciting, connected and fulfilling sex. And that the OW was inert in bed. The romantic storyline was just too good for her to ignore. She is a (former?) cheater. First marriage was only a couple of years old when she had a affair with a client. Big surprise what viewpoint she took and spread around town like wildfire. And most of those idiots bought it. I think I might live in Switzerland? ?

brit
brit
7 years ago
Reply to  PF

After all PF they are sensitive and lets be frank, they wouldn’t be cheating if it wasn’t for our lack of understanding. If only we had been more intuitive to their feelings,

Longtimechump
Longtimechump
7 years ago
Reply to  PF

Hey and it’s also “so complicated!”.

And “you would not understand anyway because you are too focused on yourself!”

And “it’s easy to blame others but try to face yourself and be courageous enough to combat your insecurities!”

And “open-mindedness and courage have always been a sin. People don’t understand different-thinking grandious personalities.”

Valerie
Valerie
7 years ago
Reply to  PF

LOLOLOL

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
7 years ago

Just Friends

A relationship that has two layers: 1) the outer one for the casual acquaintance you “run into” what seems like all the time, just in case someone saw the two of you in public together and someone mentions it to your spouse and 2) the inner one for “running into” each other’s faces and genitals, groping, fingering, and breathless yearnings to be getting oral (in the back/distribution side of the parking lot where you “ran into” each other) all.the.time. IF ONLY they didn’t love their family so much, they could be together and finger each other incessantly! BUT- they can’t- so they’re Just Friends instead

brit
brit
7 years ago

Again, insisitonhonesty, thanks for sharing, a touching story of dear friends who valued and loved their families with all their heart, so much they were willing to fornicate in the back seat of an automobile, in the parking lot where they worked and risked the humiliation of being discovered. They were wiling to risk all that and endure the struggle in the name of friendship and more importantly to save their families, the families they love with every fiber of their being.
Imagine the stress, these two have had to suffer, the cold leather seats sticking to their bare behinds in order to maintain their friendship
There’s a song by Elton John, called Friends, the first line goes like this..
Making friends for the world to see, let the people know you got what you need..,
Could be their song..
I think their friendship story has ruined the song for me now, I won’t be able to listen to it ever again without thinking about their bare behinds and bobbing heads.

jadedmuse
jadedmuse
7 years ago

Wow. This is loaded. Love it. Wow.

JudyB
JudyB
7 years ago

I don’t talk about him much. In my phone I changed his real name into ‘Serial Cheater’. So every time he sends a Whatsapp (mostly in the family-whatsappgroup) I smile 🙂

Coco
Coco
7 years ago

My ex: Reason for divorce, I was too controlling meaning I wouldn’t let him respond to Craig’s Lust ads and meet couples/men/women

I call the OW the dog walker. Ex still refuses to admit she’s going to be his wife. He claims that his dog walker signed for court papers when he was deployed for a year. OWs name was the one that signed.

Lostandfound
Lostandfound
7 years ago

I call her schmoopie dicklips. I call him fucktard and cheaterpants. Thank you CL.

conniered
conniered
7 years ago

In My Boat: In real life, I refer to other chumps I meet as being “in my boat”. We have a common/shared experience and they get it unlike those who do love us and support us…but they just aren’t in the boat. And let me tell you, that “boat” is a damn cruiseliner!!! What the hell!!!

Everything that Happened: empasses all that occurred prior to DDay (the suspicions and research), DDay itself (the confrontation) and all the events that occurred directly after DDay. The surviving, the grief, the hurtful words, lies, life changing decisions to make alone, changing banks and direct deposits, realizing who the OW was……all that crap!!

Dick Chop: a chump friend calls his STBXW’s OM “dick chop”. Clever and funny…and he’s not even on CL!!!

Rage: The way others refer to MY anger about being cheated on. Apparently, my demeanor changes when I talk about the ex and it takes me a while to adjust back to “normal”. However, my rage is laser focused kind in that it is held for the ex and his Whore solely.

MightyMamaof2
MightyMamaof2
7 years ago

So many names for the ex: he who shall not be named (harry potter reference), man child, I often say I have 2.5 little boys – .5 ? people ask – that’s their father, the ex. Also like to call him synthetic things like Splenda or Velveeta. He thinks very highly of his mma skills and would constantly tell the AP how he was “going to go pro” (big lie) so I refer to him and Schmuck Lidel (play on Chuck Lidel) or ninkampoop ninja.

And for the lucky lady/ladies of his ego feeding them… they don’t have individual names. I just refer to them all as “the sluts” because his oh so empathetic reasoning for everything was, “he just wanted to fuck someone like a slut”. Oh how the skies opened that day. Such a gift. Such a shallow pool he exists in. Happy to be out of that piss water pool.

Oh and my EX inlaws – the absolute best part of the divorce – his parents famous line was “not my problem” soooo my standard response anytime he wants me to do something for them – they’re not my problem and I have no legal obligation to them. They’re also listed in my phone as not my problem.

Beth
Beth
7 years ago
Reply to  MightyMamaof2

MMo2, I LOVE “not my problem” for the out-laws. My ex MIL is an evil bitch and like you, never having to deal with her again was the absolute best part of the divorce. I’m not sure if she is still in my phone but if she is, I’m changing her listing to “not my problem”. That is brilliant!!

MightyE
MightyE
7 years ago
Reply to  Beth

My ex MIL might be the only one I’m actually going to miss. How such a sweet woman raised such a fuckup, I do not understand.

NoKibble4U
NoKibble4U
7 years ago
Reply to  Beth

+1

J$
J$
7 years ago

Emotional affair partners- Cuddle Sluts

Margrite
Margrite
7 years ago
Reply to  J$

J$, I love the term “Cuddle Sluts.”

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
7 years ago

Carpooling

When a female co-worker you’re Just Friends with is nervous about driving because some sort of precipitation is happening, those Just Friends may begin Carpooling. How would she ever get to work without such an excellent driver? Shortly after beginning Carpooling, your employer may begin having more pre-opening meetings and “the entire staff” may begin having team-building events in the evenings. Spouses aren’t allowed because the owner is cheap. Spouses also may not pay their own way because… team-building. Spouses are not part of the team.

Carpooling is also excellent for Just Friends because there’s a reasonable excuse to be seen together in public for extended periods of time. (ie “Sarah saw us at Pier 1 because we were killing time between closing and the start of the dinner.”)

Carpooling is always justified, even when no weathers are happening at all. It’s so GREEN. And what kind of monster doesn’t want their spouse to be GREEN? A selfish one.

brit
brit
7 years ago

Neighborly

When am attractive blonde neighbor shows up at other neighbors barbecue, follows X to the bathroom corners him and grabs his behind..
Same neighbors dogs suddenly become escape artists. Guess who volunteers to help her find them>
My good samaritan X.., if she wasn’t attractive he wouldn’t have helped her find her dogs.
Unfortunately I trusted X and never questioned the length of time it took for them to get her dogs back.

I shouldn’t have to be concerned about my X screwing around with our neighbor. I know if anyone were to grab my ass what I would say.., nothing complex, how about stop, I’m married?
X is quite capable of using his words, he didn’t want to use his words he wanted to see how much further it would go.

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
7 years ago

Absolutely spot on, Insistonhonesty! I too heard all about numerous “team events” that the employer jealously guarded from outsiders like spouses because they were all about team building. Out of state training, with hotel room paid for–off limits to spouses, because team building was so crucial. After work drinks in bars–only for members of the team. But wait, whoops! That time (or two) that he accidentally mentioned talking to a coworker’s spouse, who was in attendance. Well, THAT person just invited themselves and the coworkers were all too polite to run them off. I marvel at my former ability to believe bullshit. Decades of lying and gaslighting affect your perception.

Freckles Are Beautiful
Freckles Are Beautiful
7 years ago

Ugghhh, I felt all kinds of gross reading this. It was very well-written, and captured WAY TOO MUCH of the grim reality us chumps face. We beg to go to stupid (imaginary) office events but aren’t allowed? I got no time for that bullshit anymore. Glad you’re insisting on honesty now! #TeamTruth

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago

Him

Asswipe
Man whore
Puto
Master of bondage

Her
Whore juice
Hoovering fat buzzard
Stupid whore

His women
The harum
Slut puppets
The sex slaves

All of them
Pods!

cdclocks
cdclocks
7 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

Nice. 🙂

Beth
Beth
7 years ago

My ex is the Edgar Suit (the alien cockroach wearing a human skin in Men in Black) or the Fucktard.

There wasn’t an OW per se just a long line of strippers or hookers or strippers who fuck for money so I never bothered with a nickname for them.

“I was increasingly unhappy in the marriage” was code for “I’m fucking sex trade randoms every chance I get and then having unprotected sex with you but I’m entitled to because I’m entitled”

Mom Of The Good Guys
Mom Of The Good Guys
7 years ago
Reply to  Beth

I am in awe of you for coming up with “The Edgar Suit”! That’s one of my favorite all time movie scenes, and my husband uses to do a spot-on impression of “Egga” wanting “suuugrrr!” It also fits so perfectly for a cheating situation, wherein the person we thought we knew becomes someone else entirely. Brava! And, best wishes for a stupendously happy life!

Traveling the World
Traveling the World
7 years ago

I’ve been coming up with new names for all of them since day 1. I rotate them around as her name in my phone contact list every so often.

Her =
Adulteressa the Wonder Cheater Superheroine (or sometimes just “Adulteressa”)
Hester Prynne
Cheaterpants
..and my personal favorite:
Princess Sluterella

OM #3 (the one she left me for) =
Pillsbury Doughboy (he looks like a photoshop composite of me + the Pillsbury Doughboy; so, he’s like me, only uglier, shorter, fatter, more bald, and with an unkempt goatee)
Prince Cheating
The POSOM (Piece of s*** other man)

OM #1 =
Gramps (he was old enough to be her grandfather, eww!)
P*rnstache (he had that 70’s mustache from certain movies)

I have to add one from someone else. At the same time that my wife left me for the Pillsbury Doughboy, the babysitter’s dad (who works for a church, no less) left her mom for this ugly chick from Rumania.
She and her brother call the other woman “Slutsylvania.”

cdclocks
cdclocks
7 years ago

Hmmm. I think I’ll borrow POSOM and call HER a SOW…Shitty Other Woman.

JeepTess
JeepTess
7 years ago

…TravelingTheWorld…lying cheating coward is a grandpa and a ’70’s mustache…

…and he ‘dates’ girls 1/3 his age…

…hummmm…

he’s also a cliche in many other ways…traveling salesman for one.

…ugh…they just suck.

Almost At Meh
Almost At Meh
7 years ago

My x ran off with someone from Romania too – I love Slutsylvania!

heissobroken
heissobroken
7 years ago

Ex is inbred goat ? humper or fucktard or codependent pig

Skank is Alcoholic Aunty Whore or Cum Dumpster

Ex MIL – Trailerpark Grandma

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  heissobroken

Inbred goal humper (with pic) = effing hilarious!

MightyE
MightyE
7 years ago

Ooh, I have one!

Sexless marriage- I quit putting any effort whatsoever into maintaining a relationship with my spouse, and am shocked, shocked I tell you, that they no longer care to jump my bones on a daily basis.

Nagging wife- She’s busy earning 70% of the household income while my unemployed ass drinks all day on the couch, and she has the nerve to ask me to mow the lawn and do laundry once a week.

flutterby
flutterby
7 years ago
Reply to  MightyE

mightyE, “Sexless marriage- I quit putting any effort whatsoever into maintaining a relationship with my spouse, and am shocked, shocked I tell you, that they no longer care to jump my bones on a daily basis.”

This what got me hung up for a while. If I had known that x was going to say this to a very large amount of people, like he did to justify leaving me, I would have cut that f*er off years before he did leave. I felt so used afterwards, but hindsight is 20/20. x knows and I know that he f*ing lied about this and that’s all on him. Lame assed motherf*er is my euphemism for x.

FicoChump
FicoChump
7 years ago

Good topic!!

I call my RDH = Real D*(* Head, Fakeonator, Optical Illusion, Hypocrite, Child trapped in a man body, RAPOS= REAL AHOLE, POS :-), ALSO FB = FAT BASTARD (USED FROM ONE OF OUR CHUMPS SORRY), Sugar Daddy since the whore is like 15 years younger than him.
The picture on my phone when he calls is an Hologram of Star Wars

To the last whore I called her: Whore 9.0 version, The free fancy diner chaser, Horney Howdy= Kind of Matches her name.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

In the note I found about X’s affair with an undergraduate,

“grew close” = had an extended bout of oral sex before she demanded he leave his wife (me) before she would have intercourse

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Well, technically your cheater might be correct. How much closer can you get than with oral sex?

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

What a kindness! She only let him gore his mouth into her vagina but didn’t let his penis inside of her BECAUSE THAT’S GOING TOO FAR?

My God, what a LADY. Somebody hand this bitch a medal and thank her for showing such restraint!

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago

My favorite of the most eye roll worthy euphemisms for cheating remains Estel Perel’s: an act of exuberant defiance. There isn’t enough soap in the world to scrub up that kind of bullshit.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

“WE need to fix US” = I cheated on you multiple times, please clean up the fucking mess I made.

“Ted Bundy” = Mr. Sparkles name in my cell phone.

“L’amour du Jour” = Mr. Sparkles girlfriend of the month (year)

“#4” = Mr. Sparkles OW when he abandoned his family

“Minor inconveniences” = me and the kids

“We stopped having sex” = Mr. Sparkles responded to a Craigslist ad indicating his was a BiMWM

“I should be able to kiss you whenever I want to” = but I only want to when we’re out with other people

“We weren’t happy” = I was cheating all along, but it’s your fault… and heck, you could’ve cheated too

“You’re a BITCH” = I filed first, got everything I wanted, and he got the bill for it.

Chestnut Mare
Chestnut Mare
7 years ago

ICSMC, Cold-hearted bitch! That’s what the crapweasel calls me when he speaks to our children. Because I too filed first, hired a kick ass attorney, got what I wanted, and sent poor, poor crapweasel the bill. And then, of course he was so broken there was no choice but to marry the twatwaffle and make believe he is happy.
Hang on to that second wedding day smile, you dumbass. I got MEH and got more than half of the marital assets. And I got rid of you!

Newlady15
Newlady15
7 years ago

He who shall not be named–courtesy of my new nice boyfriend(sorry mightymamaof2 you’ll just have to share it!) or wackjob
Her–slut, wife appliance, sugar mama. A friend who sees them because her boyfriend still lets him drop by calls her boobs on 2 legs because she’s so stoopid friend can’t carry on a conversation wit her–says he took a BIG downgrade…
I’m MEH!!

Newlady15
Newlady15
7 years ago

Oops “with”

chumpionsahm
chumpionsahm
7 years ago

Cheater boy churns these things out a mile a minute.

What he calls his affairs: mistakes, a number of mistakes, poor decisions.
What he calls his lies: compartments, attempts to protect me, attempts to protect the children, playing by ground rules established to prevent harm, torture for him.
What he calls current slut: ideal partner, perfect companion, person he trusts, someone he took unfair advantage of, someone who showed signs of stress when the affair was discovered, someone he thinks he loves even though he is not sure what love is.
What he called his STD, fortunately treatable and not passed to me: a scare, not really an STD.
What he calls me: terrible partner, poor companion, reason for affairs, person he did not want to sully.

One of the many benefits of going and staying no contact is gaining distance from all of this double-speak. The obfuscation is terrible for mental health.

chumpionsahm
chumpionsahm
7 years ago
Reply to  chumpionsahm

Oh, what he calls himself: a flawed guy.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  chumpionsahm

OMG … that’s what mine says too. He’s a “flawed human being” … a ploy to get us to sympathize with them. The desired response: “Oh honey, we are ALL flawed in some way … don’t be so hard on yourself.” The actual response: “Sign here and then go fuck yourself.”

Sausalito
Sausalito
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Yeah, the “flawed” thing is straight from the self-pity section of the cheater handbook. My reply to that was, “that’s a shame. What are you doing about it?” Um, switching from strippers to prostitutes?

Tundra Woman
Tundra Woman
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

A “flawed human being” is not the same as a Pogo Stick. Especially one that keeps sticking one shallow mud puddle and vaulting to the next.
A “flawed” anything is aka a “Reject:” Did not pass Quality/Self Control testing.

JeepTess
JeepTess
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Thank you THANK YOU for the belly laugh Dixie 🙂 Thank you so much!

Love it! 😀

chumpionsahm
chumpionsahm
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Exactly! He wants to be seen as this otherwise nearly entirely amazing human being with, you know, just this one tiny, wholly understandable flaw. Not to forgive it immediately given the otherwise near perfection suggests profound deficiencies of character in the one who declines to let it go and celebrate him. Yup.

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  chumpionsahm

Oh yea! You just nailed it, exactly! I still, after months (and reading a bachelors degree worth on narcissism), can barely wrap my brain around it … “it” being this type of perspective … but that’s their reality.

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Lol.===> “Sign here and go fuck yourself.”

jumper
jumper
7 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

+1 sweet dixie!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago

Ex = Fucktard or Stupid Ignorant Assholean Idiot

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago

My ex is a really active sporty guy. Or so he says. He enjoys

“playing tennis” … getting blow jobs from married women out behind the bushes near the courts

“camping” … reenacting Brokeback Mountain with his buddy in a warm climate

“skiing” … reenacting Brokeback Mountain with his buddy in a cold climate

“hitting the gym” … hitting on married women at the gym over lunch

“going out for a jog” … getting those gym whores to go out on the trails surrounding the office with him

“walking the dog” … using drugs out in the woods behind our old house while sexting his bi-gender harem

It’s pretty surprising he’s got that roll around his middle given how very active he is all the time.

Tundra Woman
Tundra Woman
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Him aka “Poke-em-honest”
Them aka “Jawanna-ho’s”

Clementine
Clementine
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Hahahaha, oh Dixie, I’m snorting with uncontrollable giggles.

chumpionsahm
chumpionsahm
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Hah! Yes. “Going to lunch” and “working late” will never be the same.

Roley
Roley
7 years ago
Reply to  chumpionsahm

Oh yes the “working late” thing! Trouble is I believed it.

Mine wrote in his work calendar “off site meeting” when he was having an afternoon at a hotel with Skank

He also wrote “working from home” when he was actually at a home – just not ours lol!

He said to me that he was “just off to do some chores” – why oh why did I not check up? I just trusted that he was doing chores.

Yes I was well and truly chumped.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Roley

“Off site meeting” for me was “faculty day retreat.” Well, until I found the hotel bill charged to the credit card. Day only; king size bed.

Roley
Roley
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Survivor

Me too I found the hotel receipt.

To cap it all the same evening was my “girls night out” to celebrate my birthday and the skank came to help me celebrate (she was my friend). She gave me a Starbucks voucher that she bought in the Starbucks that was in the hotel foyer. At the time I did wonder why she didn’t buy me a small present (she usually did) but just assumed she was busy (she was – with my spouse).

When it all came out she texted me to say that it was definitely not an affair “Cheater and I met to buy you a Christmas present.”

Still in shock 🙁

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
7 years ago
Reply to  chumpionsahm

“getting a haircut” – for three hours?
“going to the gym” – until 3:00am?
“going flying” – in a thunderstorm?
He also spent a few hours at her house “introducing our dogs”. Our dog didn’t like her dog – good dog.
Really it should have been obvious but I was gaslighting myself by thinking all of the above was actually plausible because “he wouldn’t do something like that.”

Sausalito
Sausalito
7 years ago

Five hour trip to Home Depot… *sigh*