The Inevitable Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott Divorce

The unicorn has died for reality star wifetress Tori Spelling and rancid slab of Canadian bacon, Dean McDermott… they’re getting divorced.

Alas, CN, infidelity did not make their marriage stronger. (The Reconciliation Industrial Complex shall now gather for a moment of silence.)

Meanwhile, let us snark. Here are five reasons Tori and Dean’s divorce was inevitable.

1.) Their relationship began as an affair.

As you’ll recall (I’ve been reporting on this nonsense since 2014) Tori and Dean cheated on their spouses the day they met each other on a film set. Tori’s chump soon got the I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You speech. Yahoo reports:

The Scary Movie 2 star detailed telling her first husband about her affair with McDermott in her 2009 book, sTORI Telling. “I told him that I’d never been in love with him. I loved him and he’d been a friend to me, but I married him because he was a great guy, a guy who took care of me. Charlie didn’t want to hear it,” Spelling wrote. “He kept saying, ‘Where’s all this coming from? We have a perfect relationship.’ Then he turned to me. ‘Did you cheat on me?’ I said yes. He said, ‘It was with Dean, wasn’t it?’ I said yes. He said, ‘I should have known.'”

Charlie was unavailable for comment today, having likely overdosed on schadenfreude. Meanwhile, McDermott’s ex, Mary Jo Eustace, made a minor cringy career as a wronged wife, but not so wronged that she didn’t mess around with McDermott while he was married to Spelling.

Point is, these were two shallow people with a commitment as sincere as a 2 a.m. reverse mortgage ad. Tori was never special. Because…

2.) Dean McDermott did not get a character transplant.

He continued to be exactly what he is — a serial cheater. Remember Emily Goodhand? (A 28-year old Schmoopie with a double entendre for a name.) There were others. And booze! And Dean’s sorry. So, so sorry. But not so sorry he didn’t do it all over again. And again. And again.

3.) Babies make bad anchors.

Five children cannot tether that dick. He walked out on his first wife and child. Tori, did you expect differently? You do not have a magic uterus. Babies make bad FW anchors. But they do make good product placement judging by your Instagram. Shout out to the Beverly Hills hotel! Candy Spelling is going to have to pay for a lot of therapy.

4.) Tori Spelling’s hopium was not compelling television.

How many years must the public endure Tori and Dean’s Love Against All Odds? There was True Tori and the Lifetime specials. Oh, and Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings! where they rebranded themselves as celebrity wedding planners! (It collapsed after a $60 million lawsuit alleging they stole the idea.)

Hammy actor though he is, I personally think Dean got tired of playing the role of Repentant Husband. As I once wrote: “Come Back to us Dean!”:

Tired of bleeding, tired of answering Tori’s stupid questions about the babysitter. Dean’s soul wants a pancake. It wishes to be left alone in Canada where he and his demons can go ice-fishing. And maybe cruise for escorts. Anyway, Dean’s soul is EXHAUSTED. Enough, Tori! ENOUGH!

5.) Winning the ‘Pick Me Dance’ isn’t winning.

Whether they divorce or not, Tori and Dean demonstrate that the pick me dance sucks. Ever wonder what winning a cheater looks like? Read the Tori and Dean timeline here. His constant sex demands. The tax debts. The 6-digit unpaid Amex bill. The children they cannot afford. The divorce they cannot afford. That time Tori fell backwards into a hibachi grill. Dean tattooing his dick. Then hoovering his first wife, Eustace, saying it was a mistake to leave her.

Maybe Tori is going to rebrand as a plucky single mom. Maybe Dean is going to die in a tragic poutine accident. (Hot gravy meet intimate tattoos…) Maybe this whole divorce rumor is just another desperate bid for a new reality TV series RECONCILE OR DIE, where Esther Perel parachutes in to explain Dean’s exuberant acts of defiance.

Stay tuned. Or tramp stamp “Tori” on your butt crack. Or have a fifth child. I dunno.

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LadybugChump
LadybugChump
9 months ago

Oh wow! FW was that guy. Lying his whole life. Then convincing me his own son is a liar. Likely to take the focus off himself. And this was a TV program??!

LookingForwardsToTuesday
LookingForwardsToTuesday
9 months ago

Well that couldn’t have happened to two nicer people could it? I just feel sorry for their children (AKA collateral damage).

LFTT

cuzchump
cuzchump
9 months ago

I do not at all have empathy for Tori. She was served her own karma. Now maybe she knows how it feels to be cheated on. She was probably like most OW they think they are special and he would never cheat on me. Her husband is just another typical cheater who only cares about his wandering penis. My heart goes out to the children. Hopefully she had a good prenup.

nomar
nomar
9 months ago

Serial cheaters are utterly surprised when they encounter the most predictable of consequences. Like sticking your tongue into a spinning fan blade and being shocked when your mouth fills with blood. I suspect the apparent stupidity of this cheater obliviousness is a big reason so many of us suspect our cheaters have a brain tumor: they just seem suddenly so damn STUPID.

Falling Forward
Falling Forward
9 months ago
Reply to  nomar

YES! My exFW was scanned for brain tumor.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago
Reply to  nomar

“they just seem suddenly so damn STUPID.”

Exactly, it is so disorienting.

FuckWitFree
FuckWitFree
9 months ago

Enter the rerun Cheater Pattern Playbook:
1. Not enough freaky sex
2. Met my soulmate
3. Lying and controlling behaviors
4. Swears never leaving but always leaves
5. Using tragedy to get more attention kibbles
6. Breeds children they end up abandoning and later claim not wanting.

Barf barf barf barf barf barf

Living Free
Living Free
9 months ago

Ok, I literally LOL’d waay too many times reading this post. CL it’s too early for all this snark and sarcasm. I love it! To summarize: Schmoopies aren’t special and FWs gonna FW.

Hcard
Hcard
9 months ago

This is reality. They have big parties, travel, buy new things. It looks like they are happy. Behind the fake book post. They suck. They are not special. They both lack character. Don’t think they just walked away happy. This is their reality

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago

Ahh ha ha, I love this:

“Maybe this whole divorce rumor is just another desperate bid for a new reality TV series RECONCILE OR DIE, where Esther Perel parachutes in to explain Dean’s exuberant acts of defiance.”

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago

Schadenfreudelicious!

As emotional and psychological sustenance, I have often used the scene from TrueTORI where rancid snot-faced Tori is sitting on the bed screaming at Dean about his cheating while he fake-cries and faux apologizes.

If I peel back all the layers, what I really want is for the cheaters to feel what I feel. The only way that can happen is if there is a considerable investment of with episodes of betrayal and lies discovered. If you are choking on “they’re still together!”, think of it instead as the Investment Period. In my own case, he was discovered on Tinder by let daughter when she was using his phone. He was living with the primary Craigslist cockroach at the time.

My heart breaks for my daughter, who was also cast aside for a poor choice and a low quality garbage human.

I am sad for Tori and Dean’s children. They do not look happy and I don’t think the Beverly Hilton is the cause.

When discussing a salary increase at the business meeting this week, Traitor Ex actually said, “consider me your resident financial expert.” The same Traitor Ex that lied to me, deceived me, hid money from me, stole money from our business to pay for the secret apartment, etc. I laughed out loud.

I reminded him that he is an expert liar, and that verifiable truth and facts need to remain on the conference table as part of any discussions.

Rest assured, Grasshoppers. It’s already super fucked up no matter how it appears.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago

Typos corrected in caps….

“If I peel back all the layers, what I really want is for the cheaters to feel what I feel. The only way that COULD POSSIBLY happen is if there is a considerable investment of TIME with episodes of betrayal and lies discovered. If you are choking on “they’re still together!”, think of it instead as the Investment Period. In my own case, he was discovered on Tinder by OUR daughter when she was using his phone. He was living with the primary Craigslist cockroach at the time.”

bichonwheels
bichonwheels
9 months ago

“Consider me your resident financial expert.” LOL the AUDACITY.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago

My comment has a typo or two but is awaiting moderation….

In the meantime, remember that staying on the high road and keeping your side kf

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago

…..of the street clean REINFORCES YOUR POSITION AS THE WRONGED PERSON. This idea helps me follow
Mr. CL’a sage advice of “if it feels good, don’t do it.”

Another quote that helps me is attributed to Napoleon, who said “never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”

Wonderful people don’t screw around with people in committed relationships, and wonderful people in committed relationships don’t screw around. That’s from Dr. Frank Pittman, who is a treasure trove of snarky one-liners about the reality of infidelity.

Fern
Fern
9 months ago

Did Dr. Pittman get pitched as a potential podcast guest??

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago
Reply to  Fern

Dr. Pittman on a podcast would be quite a feat….he is deceased….

Fern
Fern
9 months ago

Well, that’s not funny but your phrasing did make me laugh. I’d recommend we take him off the call list 😉

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
9 months ago

Mr. Sparkles had three relationships that produced children (two of which were marriages)… he cheated through all of them.

As the last wife, I was only warned “he lies”… but we met just before the Internet exploded so marriage policing was a little different “back then” (ha). I eventually caught him answering ads on Craigslist and Backpage as well as having ads posted on AFF, Ashley Madison, Yahoo Personals, and OK Cupid. I stayed (face palm)… confronted him (2×4 to head)… went to marriage counseling that I scheduled (waste of money)… he discarded me for an OW he met at the gym after 4 d-days with ILYBINILWY.

OW subsequently dumped him for cheating on her. Funny that.

He is getting married for the THIRD TIME this coming Saturday. I couldn’t leave well enough alone this weekend when I discovered the venue is literally less than a mile from where I live… like close enough that I could sit out front with a lawn chair and popcorn and watch it… anyway, I discovered within 5 minutes of searching that you can find him actively seeking a woman/couple on Adult Friend Finder RIGHT NOW… 4 days out from his wedding. My heart breaks for his bride, but I warned her early on that I had survived a very abusive marriage (sexual, finanical, emotional; gaslighting, cognitive dissonance)… and it did not dissuade her… he’s very good at lovebombing.

Of course, it is all I can now to sit on this new found knowledge as it’s “not my monkey, not my circus”… and she wasn’t an OW. But I cannot run around protecting all the women that fall into his web of lies. I have my own life to lead (and shouldn’t have ever looked).

THEY DON’T CHANGE. Sorry, Tori.

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago

I’m in the same position now of having to remind myself that it’s “not my monkey, not my circus” and “I cannot run around protecting all the women who fall into his web of lies.”

Last year I learned, just after I returned from four months of caring for my mother before she died, that my ex had gotten together another woman, not the ow (an ex-student), but a woman I know (she was our son’s violin teacher and an adult student in two of my classes). I contacted her to give her the info on my ex’s crossdressing and secret sexual activities (I would have liked to have known, so I could have made informed choices about my life), but she chose to believe she is special and can trust him to be open with her.

I won’t pretend that I am not sometimes plagued with those doubts of “what if he changes for her?” or “maybe they’re happy together and I was the problem (like he always made me out to be)”, but then I remember “they don’t change” and “trust that he sucks.”

I did what I thought was my ethical obligation, she made her choice, and I, like you, have my own life to lead.

Spinach@35
Spinach@35
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

“I won’t pretend that I am not sometimes plagued with those doubts of ‘what if he changes for her?’ or ‘maybe they’re happy together and I was the problem (like he always made me out to be)’, but then I remember ‘they don’t change’ and ‘trust that he sucks’.”

Thanks for this, Adelante. I need this reminder.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

On Changing For Them

I don’t want someone who needs changing in this way. It’s one thing to get a different haircut or try a new cuisine or learn to get a glass instead of drinking milk out of the carton, but IMHO a cheater changing is like trying to get whole eggs back out of the cake batter. It doesn’t matter to me if they never do it again. It speaks volumes about a person if that’s on their rap sheet.

What comes to mind is an incredibly vicious, disturbing, grisly murder case where the perpetrator was identified decades later, living in suburbia, working in a respectable industry, and caring for a long term wife who had cancer. No criminal record. Not even a traffic ticket. He had never harmed her. Her world was rocked when he was arrested. BUT HE STILL LIED ABOUT AND HID WHAT HE DID, and denied her informed consent. Should she stay with him because the murder happened decades ago and he hasn’t done anyone in since? (That anyone knows of…..)

How someone has treated people is a factor of discernment. There are lots of people who completely disregard that and are happy to assume the risk (typical of side pieces). Be my guest is what I say. I want to associate with people who have outstanding records for loyalty and trustworthiness.

I truly thought Traitor Ex a nice guy who would never cheat. Once I found out otherwise, I became completely unimpressed by any outward appearances of change. I’m not capable of cheating and living a secret double life. I am fine with someone else assuming the risk. I will never trust him ever again, and I don’t think it’s wise for anyone to do so either.

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago

This is absolutely the best way to think about it. Even if he were to change (and I know he won’t) the fact of what he did to me remains.

tere
tere
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Yes! Just like you didn´t “make” him cheat, no one can “make” him a better person. It does NOT work that way.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Adelante – it is such a conundrum we face as good people with a conscience. I have thought of inviting her out for tea to show her the “proof”… but there are only two likely outcomes: 1. she cancels the wedding and blames me (or Mr. Sparkles would) and I become the reason for the break-up and not his infidelity… and I still have to co-parent with the monster after she’s gone or 2. she marries him anyway and he makes everyone think I’m stalking him like a crazy person.

We share a 17yo so my only concern, truly, is for him. That is what keeps me from taking any further action… because I don’t think either outcome would benefit him.

There will be no joy knowing my son is going to bear witness to his father marrying a woman while he is actively cheating on her, but all I can do is continue to raise him to be a better man than his father.

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago

I also offered to share the evidence to prove what I was telling her was true, but she didn’t want to see it. You are so right that we are in a no-win situation–no matter what the outcome, we somehow end up being cast as the villains. And I, too, try to make my decisions with the welfare of my son in mind. It’s truly a big shit sandwich buffet!

Trudy
Trudy
9 months ago

She wouldn’t believe you, most likely. I was warned or saw the red flags but I was a young silly person, easily duped. Sigh

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Believing the “right partner” could magically inspire them to be better is precisely what defines an abuser. It’s the same disturbed thinking found in batterers and serial killers– that victims have magical powers to make perfectly good people go bad. Abusers tend to believe this so deeply that it can be spellbinding to victims, bystanders and even helping professionals so part of detoxing from abuse is banishing that demented perspective. There’s literally no way an abuser on that scale will be “better” for subsequent partners. Not possible.

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago

Yeah, he found my weak spot and exploited it. I was raised to believe it was my responsibility to make my mentally ill, abusive, and suicidal father feel better–that I could make a bad person better–and what my ex did was just the reverse side of the coin, making me believe I had made a good person bad. The longer I’m away, the clearer my vision becomes, and it amazes me that I never saw then what I’m seeing now.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Aligning some perceptions and beliefs with a partner’s and including their perspectives are normal. But abusers aren’t satisfied with slightly boosted affinity and slightly reduced friction, they want full mental and nervous system control over partners/victims. No better means of doing this than with an insidious campaign to destabilize and terrorize. Victims start incrementally giving up more perceptual ground in the hopes of inspiring a bit of mercy or grubbing a few moments of peace.

Given the right set of stressors, it can happens to anyone. My dad, who grew up with a horribly dysfunctional Irish family who were apparently very clever, witty and lethal with their putdowns, said it’s like having someone saw down the legs of your chair a millimeter at a time, then waking up to find your chin on the table and not knowing how you got there. He refused to expose me to that side of the family, cut them off and barely talked about them. But maybe he should have periodically invited them over for behavioral research purposes? It could have been a cheap graduate course on gaslighting and subtle fear mongering.

SortOfOverIt
SortOfOverIt
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Adelante, I am in therapy and just this week we spoke at length about how the “lessons” we learn growing up carry on with us as we grow and go out into the world and we just don’t EVEN KNOW it. My situation is not quite the same as yours, but the outcome is. My father was an alcoholic and got very mean when he was drunk. I watched my mom tiptoe on eggshells around him, as she tried to mitigate the conflict. My stbx is not an alcoholic, but he IS mean, and I spent decades on eggshells, much like my mom. Ironically, had he never cheated, I still should have left because he isn’t a good person for me to be around. I was always on edge, trying to placate the unplacatable. But I think I would have stayed forever had there been no affair. For me the affair was almost more about “how dare mean / difficult YOU, cheat on ME, the person who lives to try to please you?” Maybe it was just the straw that finally broke this chump-camel’s back. But the audacity of him having the nerve to cheat WHILE simultaneously being awful in other ways just sealed it for me. And all of it opened my eyes to the fact that I behaved the way I did because of growing up in the dynamic I did. I am learning how to create and hold boundaries now, and can avoid it in the future.

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
9 months ago

The whole thing is sad. It’s sad that two fuckwits got so much publicity and their ex-spouses had to deal with the limelight of the fuckwits. It’s great for the ex-spouses that they get to see the blow-up of the respective fuckwits, but what happens to the children? How messed up are the children? Will they ever be normal human beings? Will they ever have empathy? They lived their lives on TV. I suspect they have no sense of reality because it’s always been play acting. And they lived in total dysfunction as pictures of their TV mom and dad were in magazines and posted on web sites over and over again. This time they’re in love! This time he’s cheating. This time they’re making up and fidelity just made them stronger! Fuckwits are sick. I feel very sad for the children, but unless they get some real intervention from really good therapists, they’ll probably go on and do the same crap to their future partners, because that’s all they know, i.e., fucked-up relationships, cheating, and lying. I must admit, if I was one of the ex-spouses, I’d probably be thrilled seeing the demise of the fuckwits’ marriage. (Something that I may never get to witness of my own ex-fuckwit.) But really…, would I be happy in the long run when/if my ex-fuckwit gets divorced? I doubt it. I would just think it’s so sad that two self-entitled fuckwits can destroy so many things. Their own lives (though they don’t care because they’re ‘in love with their soul mate’), their childrens’ psyches, and their childrens’ future relationships. Alas, this has been going on since the dawn of time and will continue till the end of time. I’m very grateful for Chumplady. She’s showing that infidelity is abuse. It’s not ‘soul mates’ and ‘true love’; it’s pure, unadulterated, abuse. Keep on trucking, CL!

CakeEaters'Daughter
CakeEaters'Daughter
9 months ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

“…they’ll probably go on and do the same crap….”

Or pick partners who’ll do it to them.

chumpedchange
chumpedchange
9 months ago

“Charlie was unavailable for comment today, having likely overdosed on schadenfreude.” hahahah SO BRILLIANT

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago

I had absolutely no idea who these people were before CL’s post today. I don’t follow or care about celebrity culture, but if CL writes about something, I’ll do a little looking around. Because all three of these people–Eustace, Spelling, and McDermott–make their livings as “celebrities,” I have my doubts about their characters even apart from the enmeshed mess they seem to have made of their three lives, but Spelling and McDermott, especially, seem like Hollywood bottom feeders. Of the three of them, I would have said Eustace was the most solid, even if she did do a hurry-up book after the divorce–I can’t find any evidence she cheated on someone or helped McDermott cheat before they were married and she finalized the adoption of the daughter she and McDermott were in process to adopt when he walked away–although I’m sorry she hung around for crumbs and let Tori condescend to her. I suppose what we see is the same playbook operating in celebrity culture.

Shauwden Froodisace
Shauwden Froodisace
9 months ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Whatever anyone thinks of Brandi Glanville, she was treated like worthless scum by the real scumbags; Deadhead Eddie & Smirkann Rimes.
I used to think I’d celebrate when those two cheating slugs split but it’s actually better knowing they are still together (keeps em away from decent humans); still pretending they are not as miserable as sin.
😏

Zip
Zip
9 months ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Gross…..I can’t………Ex discards you and you reward them with cas. Sex? At least I didn’t do that! I wonder how long after that was, because your head and heart are wonky for some time.

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I did see the entry about Eustace cheating with McDermott after he became her ex. Sorry I wasn’t more clear–I meant that as far as I could find out Eustace wasn’t cheating with McDermott back in the early 90s before they got married.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago

“I loved him and he’d been a friend to me, but I married him because he was a great guy, a guy who took care of me.”

This is Tori Spelling on marrying first husband Charlie Shanian. (That marriage was clearly a mistake on HIS part.)

Tori releases her book, sTORI Telling, detailing her affair. “I had no regrets,” she wrote. “Something was really wrong with my marriage. Not only because I slept with this guy — though that certainly wasn’t a positive sign — but because I didn’t regret it.”

Something was wrong with her MARRIAGE? No. Something is wrong with HER. Or, as Dr. Frank Pittman says to cheaters, “YOU are what is wrong with your marriage.”

HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
9 months ago

“…because he was a great guy, a guy who took care of me.”

Wow, yes, imagine how horrible it would be stuck in a marriage to a great guy. A solid dependable marriage to an ordinary great guy sounds so…miserable?

Much better to find herself an ordinary unfaithful cheater and live out a few decades of painful drama in which they both keep stumbling over their own self-entitlement, simultaneously wondering why they can’t make a fairytale income on hollow self-promotion.

I don’t follow this kind of story unless it is literally played out on the cover of the Enquirer in the grocery store line, but I feel fairly certain that somewhere in the background Charlie Shanian keep sighing in relief, content that he is safely detached from this whole dumpster fire.

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
9 months ago

She’s a cheater, he’s a cheater….seems they were made for each other.

The poor kids.

The Best is Yet to Come
The Best is Yet to Come
9 months ago

Oh barf!!! Just more Hollywood idiots! The true victims are those children, who will have to endure their parents bullshit for years. Sold them out for the almighty dollar, capitalizing on their stupidity! You better get real jobs Tori and Dean, these poor kids are going to need lots of therapy!

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
9 months ago

The whole thing is disgusting. I feel terrible for their kids.

Roaring
Roaring
9 months ago

I have sympathy for Tori Spelling, actually. She reminds me of Britney Spears (also a cheater with her first cheater husband). Because they seemed so young and kinda dumb and exploited by family and the entertainment business and never grew out of it (their early 20s). They embody the concept of arrested development.

I also have contempt for the on-going attempts to trap the cheaters by having human children who are sad collateral damage.

SouthernChump
SouthernChump
9 months ago

May the crazy Karma bus keep driving their douche bag asses into the ground and their kids figure out what normal looks like so they don’t repeat the patterns.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago

A Tori tramp stamp, Dean skank flank and Esther Perel, erm, um, slag scapula? Sign me up! I want mine inscribed over dead unicorns wreathed with buzzing flies.

HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
9 months ago

Yikes, the Beverly Hills Hotel really does let just anyone into it’s pool area. Where was security when this aggrandized Trailer Park family said they just wanted a photo op by the pool?

DrDr
DrDr
9 months ago

There are no surprises here.
The blog was hilarious. Lot of LOLs. Thank you!
FWs don’t have the capacity to feel shame. They pin all their self-hatred on the chump so they continue to enjoy their kibbles in fantasyland. MY FW did the whole: “I never loved you. You forced me to marry you….This isn’t the life I wanted . .. ” revisionist history shit. And even continues to tell my kids that. Recently we were going through old photos for my mom’s wake and I pointed out to my kids that I didn’t see any guns pointed at his head in the photos. Does he look like he’s being taken hostage here? (!!!!)
I hit my limit and kicked FW out of the house last year. He lives with his mom now and my kids have little to no desire to see him. Kids will eventually see who the FW is with their own eyes. It’s hard for me to witness their pain. He screwed over all of us with his toddler rage and entitlement victimhood. Covert narcissist poster boy. UGH.
At least Tori/Dean will get divorced. That might be the best hope for those kids to get out of that toxic stew. That is what I think for myself also. Time to cut the cord.
We all learn hard lessons in this life. Not everyone is up for that challenge. Love yourself. Love your kids. Laugh. Be honest. Life is better after you get rid of FW. Hugs to all of us.

Chumpasaurus45
Chumpasaurus45
9 months ago

“Dean’s soul wants a pancake. It wishes to be left alone in Canada where he and his demons can go ice-fishing.” 🤣LOL!! Good one CL, I laughed a lot reading that post, you are one of a kind!
All these ‘how many ways can I blow up my life’ stories keep me scratching my head for the big old fat why, why, WHY?!?!
Just seems like there must be a reason, other than complete soul collapse.
I was thinking after reading today’s post, of similarities FW’s have to mass murderers, school shooters. Or all the deep sickos of this world that do elaborate “ look at me and feel my pain!” exit strategies, instead of just solo suicides. There seems to be some sort of a connection theme involved to me between FW’s and mass killers!
Maybe it’s the need for both of them to have the world really feel their pain, the frustration, the deep hate and anger that bubbles over in their souls continually.
What about me?! Look at me world! The release valve becomes killing 30 innocent kids and then taking their own lives or letting law enforcement do it for them or for FW’s, it’s nuking their families.
Did they want us to view all the abject nilhilism and pain that lives in their hearts?
Perhaps in an odd sort of way, that’s what FW’s intend on doing on a much lessor scale, but still with great destruction.
They purposely blow up their lives and enjoy the irreparable tower tumbling down, so the world can SEE them and feel their existential agony. The focus on them, where they always want it.
And because of their pain, they want others to be in pain too, so destroying lives is their method to get that high. Spouses, children, families, they torch it all to be seen.
Maybe it is a kind of elaborate drawn out suicidal act, all their lies, deceptions and abuses over the years.
They don’t see the value in loving or living a decent life and don’t want anyone else to have that either, so they destroy as cruelly as possible to leave themselves no exit at all. Full commitment to destroy, that becomes their life’s mission.
So many of the stories here on CN are of FW’s who ‘appeared’ to have amazing lives, so very loved, but didn’t want that and so they just decided to blow it all up.
What benefit would that have to a person?! Certainly doesn’t make life any easier. It just doesn’t ever compute for me.
The constant distractions and juggling hook ups keeps them from any deep dive self reflections. They can’t look inside, that’s way the hell too scary. Thank God, there’s no time for that anyway, if you have to line up your next blow job.
I think on some level, possibly even subconscious, they feel undeserving of anything good because they know they have a darkness in them that has hurt many people and they don’t want to deal with that level of guilt anymore.
So instead, they choose to just blow it the hell up, in the worst and most damaging ways possible. Take as many ppl as they can down and live their last few years holding on to a flaming tail of a comet, caring about literally nothing and no one but themselves. Fuck the world and everyone else that ever mattered to them. Taking their last joy ride to hell and beyond.
It is pretty damn suicidal, but I am not handing out free passes on consequences, they have chosen the path they walked.
Maybe they even knew all along that’s where they were headed, but the cheap thrills for the countless moments seemed well worth the risk to them.
Their self destruction has allowed them to throw away every good thing in their lives and the remaining option is to hang with all the other soulless creatures who also took that dark suicidal path of no return.
That’s my theory of the day, trying to make sense out of the senseless!
Tomorrow I’ll listen to CL again and drop the skein out of my hands.
I do realize it’s not fixable but it doesn’t prevent me from attempting a knot or two every now and again.

Stig
Stig
9 months ago
Reply to  Chumpasaurus45

I think it’s a quest to force the world to recognise and acknowledge the sense of specialness and power that they feel has been denied to them by the world or the people they cheat on. For whatever reason, whether it’s deprivation or spoiling in early life, they feel entitled to force others acknowledge that they are special and different, to continue a pattern of special treatment or exceptionalism that they experienced early on, or because they feel they are owed something by the world because of their hardships (real or self-perceived). They never think it’s not their fault, they have been victimised unfairly by people or a person who they feel thwarted the great life they envisioned for themselves (I could have been, had X, Y or Z, if weren’t for YOU) and they are going to make them pay. At the heart of it I think they know, even if only subconsciously, that it’s their own inadequacies that are responsible for their unhappiness, but it’s too painful/soul destroying to face the truth of their own self responsibility, so they project that violent internal loathing outward onto others in destructive ways. Just my two cents, but yes, entitlement is a large part of the mindset either way.

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  Chumpasaurus45

I can’t help but want to untangle that skein at times. Mark Manson posted this just two days ago:

“People often mistake highs for happiness.

“Highs are short-lived and intense. They leave you feeling empty afterward. Therefore highs often become addictive.

“Happiness is long-lived and calming. It’s like pleasant background music to everything else you do in life. Happiness is the side effect of wanting to chase nothing, change nothing.”

Could this be why the fuckwits keep doing what they’re doing? Could it be that they’re addicted to the short-lived and intense highs? It could be…., or it could be that they’re just self-entitled, it’s-all-about-me fuckwits. I vote for the latter.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago
Reply to  Chumpasaurus45

“Take as many ppl as they can down and live their last few years holding on to a flaming tail of a comet, caring about literally nothing and no one but themselves.”

This sure seemed to play out in my fw’s case. He went on to do the expected which was to keep whoring around on whore wife. (guess her vagina wasn’t magical after all). Then destroyed his relationship with his son, then destroyed himself and whore wife with massive gambling debts.

MsAzure
MsAzure
9 months ago

The absolute best thing you can do for the OW (or OM) is to wrap your cheating FW in a bow and say, “Here ya go, he/she’s all yours…”

Let human nature do its thing. Click. (Sound of door bolt locking)

Quetzal
Quetzal
9 months ago

When I heard about, I rejoiced! But then I learned how Tori met him in the first place and it all just sucked again. Anyway, staying together is sure to be more dumpster fire, so one can only pray they’ve had enough

Beachgirl
Beachgirl
9 months ago

Tori has been feverishly trying to hold this crap show together since Day 1. I’m sure part of her insistence on cot with him was to prove to everyone this really was worth the other lives they destroyed to be together. Well if they’ll do it with you they’ll do it to you seems appropriate here.

I remember after Cheater died and I informed his current mistress who cheated with him on me that he had been cheating on her the whole time (with several women), she was SHOCKED, couldn’t believe he would do that to her. I remember watching her face scrunched in incredulous shock and she really truly thought she was so special, so beautiful, so so, that she was above that kind of betrayal. It was a truly satisfying moment.

pulchie
pulchie
9 months ago

Fake Plastic Lady and Mr. The Great Unwashed. Always thought they were both gross, even before they cheated and got together.

KADawn
KADawn
9 months ago

“Better than ever”!!! I mean… that timeline… whew. These 2. Those poor kids.

Conchobara
Conchobara
9 months ago

My mom was a HUGE Tori fan when the kids were little. She didn’t know that they got together through cheating. It really dimmed her enthusiasm when I gave her the real scoop. And that was long before my DDay. She now no longer can handle infidelity storylines herself (my stepdad had an EA and the fallout was awful). She is my biggest supporter and advocate. Her relationship and our family have had a lot of struggles so Tori & Dean and their delightful dances lost their shine awhile back.

In my book this is just karma all around and they deserve it all.

Honeyballs
Honeyballs
9 months ago

This is a good wake-up call for me. I was his AP. Twenty four years ago. I was 28 and I thought we were something special. All the time that we stayed together I thought proved that we had true love and were achieving our destiny. I WAS AN IDIOT!!! He is and always has been an entitled FW. Thank you for schooling me. I needed the lesson.

Crabby Tabby
Crabby Tabby
9 months ago

File this under “Cheaters gonna cheat.” Early on after the final discard, I was snooping on my ex. I didn’t want him back, but I was on fire to find proof that he and his Tru Luv Schmoopie®️ were going down in flames. He forgot to log out of the FB messenger app, so I was able to see his conversations with various friends and family. When I saw he had begun messaging the OW he had hooked up with prior to Tru Luv Schmoopie®️, that was all I needed to know. Not only did he suck, but he didn’t get a character transplant, either. I quit snooping and went forth to gain a cheater-free life. The moral of this story is that even if the cheater and their OW stay together, it doesn’t mean they are happy or faithful.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago
Reply to  Crabby Tabby

I agree. Sometimes we tend to think that they will be dancing in bliss all the day long. But we need to remember according to them they were miserable with us (well most of us) yet they put on a fantastic show. Why on earth would we think two bottom feeders who finally found each other would be anything but who they are.

Stig
Stig
9 months ago

Tori just seems sad and very mentally damaged, she obviously thought she was special enough to keep him from straying, but then would harangue Dean about the cheating as though her mind couldn’t comprehend why reality is not the same as her mind movies. I feel so sorry for the kids, some of them look older than Tories face, and they all look miserable.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
9 months ago

Those poor kids. I hope they don’t end up as screwed up as I am, but they probably will. Or worse.

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
9 months ago

Okay, why should I care about these idiots?

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
9 months ago

Okay, and why should I care about these fools?

2xchump🚫again
2xchump🚫again
9 months ago

These reality stars are interested only in a few things pretty much in line with all cheaters. Not to paint with a broad paint brush but…does Information management sound familiar? Using people( the public)for their own gain? How about It’
s all about me? How about, who worries about the children and their little lives? How about liars that lie? This is simply two cheaters doing what they do, pasted together to make money and give us a show. Two entitled, selfish liars that married each other. It shows me that 18 years and 5 babies do not elevate cheaters. These two also showed me what a waste it is try to figure bottom dwellers out. I only have time to gain my own life back.