Time for Another Round of Bitch Cookie!

bitchcookieEvery fuckwit deserves a prize — a bitch cookie! For those of you new to CN, part of the lexicon here (introduced by member emeritus Rumblekitty) is “bitch cookie.” A bitch cookie is that reward that jerks demand for doing something they should be doing anyway as a matter of decency.

Would your co-parenting fuckwit like extra credit for taking the kids on his scheduled weekend? Bitch cookie!

Hey, it’s not like I spent the entire 401K on sex workers…. Bitch cookie!

I was faithful for entire months. Double chocolate chunk bitch cookie!

See how that works?

So what great feats of underachievement would you like to reward with a bitch cookie? Weigh in — and TGIF!

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HM
HM
6 years ago

“I never dated anybody when we were together and happy”

Sitting Chump
Sitting Chump
6 years ago
Reply to  HM

I got: “I chose you – EVERY TIME!”

Me: Really? Please, don’t ever choose me again.

WhoamInow
WhoamInow
6 years ago
Reply to  HM

But I gave him 20.00 for pizza! (said after over-hearing a conversation where my son said he had +30 in student loan debt from earning his first bachelors degree).

Gorillapoop
Gorillapoop
6 years ago
Reply to  WhoamInow

It wasn’t cheating, it was only anal and genital stimulation.

Gorillapoop
Gorillapoop
6 years ago
Reply to  Gorillapoop

Him: “I paid 20% of the child care expenses last year. I should be able to claim head of household, and one of the kids as a dependent on my taxes.”

Me: how do you figure?

Him: “Because you promised and it’s only fair.”

Me: I didn’t promise, I said we could do it that way when you move out of your parents’ basement, get your own place, pay half the kids’ expenses, and match the $500 a month I put in their college funds.

Him: “I don’t recall any quid pro quo to our agreement.”

Me: What agreement? We have been divorced for 8 months and taxes weren’t addressed in our decree. As the earner with the higher AGI, IRS regs give me the right to claim both kids.

Him: As a lawyer I can tell you that IRS regulations don’t govern this matter, the divorce courts do, and family court judges tend to favor the lower-earning spouse.

You can’t break your promises to me, we owe it to our children to keep our word to each other and cooperate as coparents. If you don’t give x random amount of money now to compensate me, I will take you to court. I have set up a meeting with my accountant and my lawyer to discuss.”

Me: Please do contact your accountant and attorney, then contact my lawyer. In the meantime, here’s another reminder that you still owe me for the last 4 months of childcare expenses.

Him: “This looks like something we can negotiate without lawyers, we were doing so well coparenting together. You pay me x amount to compensate me for the tax credits I should have been able to claim, and sign a letter stating I can claim one dependent until our youngest is 18, then I’ll consider signing something that states my intention to put money in their college accounts later in the year once I have a chance to review my finances. Though that is not a commitment on my part since how much I’ll be able to put in their accounts is going to be contingent on several factors.”

Me: No. Are you saying you are withholding your court decreed payments to me until I comply with your demands?

Him: “No, I’m saying that by your decision not to pay me what you owe me for taxes, you are accepting that amount in lieu of the child care payments.”

BITCH COOKIE + WORD SALAD = NO CONTACt

Suzanne
Suzanne
6 years ago
Reply to  WhoamInow

Mine promised his away-at-college son $100 per month for “groceries and expenses (hahahahaha). Care to guess how many times he actually paid it? Are you wondering what happened when his son asked when he would pay it? Any idea who actually paid expenses? They have absolutely no relationship. Guess who’s to blame?

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Suzanne

Yup I know exactly mine uses our kids as a weapon and so he keeps the monthly child tax credit but the beautuful dog was just abandoned. No doggy tax credit from the government it disgusts me.

kimsoverit
kimsoverit
6 years ago
Reply to  Suzanne

Dick gave newly employed DS money for rent, but no money for food/expenses. But he wanted extra credit given because he bought him pants. Necessary work pants. cuz PANTS! But no food. Bitch cookie!!

This after he said I’d been a ‘dead-beat’ parent… lol, projection much?

WhoamInow
WhoamInow
6 years ago
Reply to  WhoamInow

And one of my favorites – I think I’m falling in love with you again……..

I thank God every day that he is out of my life.

Mommamarsh
Mommamarsh
6 years ago
Reply to  WhoamInow

Oh brother….I heard that one, too! There really MUST be a playbook!!

Lady B
Lady B
6 years ago
Reply to  WhoamInow

Yes I got that one too, comment made after seeing I had lost the weight I put on when he was treating me like shit in the discard faze.

ChumpedinCanada
ChumpedinCanada
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady B

After 8 months NC the hoover ex tried:
Him: I LooooovED You. But I LooooovE her. But she her and I are over.
ME: I am not your backup plan or fallback girl.
Him: I just figured one day you and I would get our shit sorted out and get back together.
Me: So you want to be with me until your other girlfriend takes you back?
Him; Why do you always twist my words???? I said I love you.
Me: No, you said you LovED me. You are in love with her.
Him: That’s not what I said.
Me: ???

This is a clear example of why you don’t break NC.

LovingLifeAfter
LovingLifeAfter
6 years ago

Gaslighting at its FINEST right there! Wow…

Not2DaySatan
Not2DaySatan
6 years ago

“Hey I returned all of our child’s school uniforms so he didn’t have to go to school naked next week”. – Bitch Cookie

“Hey, I know aindidnt show up until the final 1 minute left in the final quarter, but I was THERE to see him play for 50 seconds!” – Bitch Cookie

“Hey I made the OW make sure her crusty thong wasn’t entangled in my bedsheets, this time she took them home!” – Bitch Cookie.

“Hey, I only let our child play 17 hours of video games each day of my weekend. Usually I don’t monitor that. This time I monitored it!” – Bitch Cookie

“Hey our child actually did his homework AND studied for his upcoming tests!! At least I didn’t let him wait until YOUR days with him like I NORMALLY DO!!” – FUCKING BITCH COOKIE!!!!

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Not2DaySatan

I know exactly mine is pure trash, 53 year old teenager but at least I’m done cleaning is soiled gonch as he called it! Bitch cookie!

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  Not2DaySatan

LOL Not2Day. Naked school kids and crusty thongs… What brilliant ethical reasoning

Not2DaySatan
Not2DaySatan
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

He’s priceless isn’t he?

OCchump
OCchump
6 years ago
Reply to  Not2DaySatan

Ugh. The homework.

“I’ve actually been doing homework with them lately”

Gee thanks……bitch cookie!

Not2DaySatan
Not2DaySatan
6 years ago
Reply to  OCchump

OCchump; my child is failing 4 classes one would THINK homework and studying is important. STBX feels put upon with the homework. Yesterday he texted me “gosh I think I understand why you were so stressed after school all the time. But tbh many other women have more than ONE child, you should be able to keep up with ONE. Geese. “
I mentally punched him in the balls.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
6 years ago
Reply to  OCchump

OC Chump,
Did you give your STBX a gold star, too?

Maude
Maude
6 years ago

I only smoked meth in your garage.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

Ha ha ha!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

Aiee!

UXworld
UXworld
6 years ago

Me: “This is it. This is fucking IT! I’ve been putting up with this shit (lying, mindfucking, blameshifting, bringing guys into our home for sex after my daughters left for school) for three and a half months . . . “

KK: “Yeah, that’s right! It’s only been three and a half months!”

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Yup I know exactly at least your ex wife waits until the kids have gone to school, not my ex husband it’s right in front of our kids, my former marital bedroom and the latest slut showers in my ensure, bitch cookie!????

TheBestMe
TheBestMe
6 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

oh Wow..

DOCTOR's1stWife&Kids
DOCTOR's1stWife&Kids
6 years ago
Reply to  TheBestMe

“I took 3 weeks off of medical school (summer vacation) to take care of our son while you studied for the bar exam…(1987)”

The DOCTOR repeated this a dozen times over the next 35 years…as if it was a great favor HE did for ME and some kid…

YES We eventually had 3 kids and YES yours truly took care of the 3 kids AND worked full time for when the DOCTOR took his MCAT, his exams in medical school, his internship admission exam, his residency exam, his boards, and then his second boards…

To my knowledge, I never once heard the words “thank you.” NOT ONCE. The hallmark of a narcissist is minimizing other’s sacrifices and maximizing and playing up the things they did that are expected of any partner. God, thanks for reminding me of this crap.

Sometimes I miss who I thought he was and then BAM, I get a reminder…oh yeah, he was an asshole. Schmoopie can have him.

Maude
Maude
6 years ago

I am certain you would heal faster if you stopped focusing so heavily on his job. It is not relevant that he was a physician. It simply means that he was good in organic chemistry and tested well.

My grandfather was a doctor. He was also a raging alcoholic and a wife beater.

The man who cheated on me has a trust fund with several million dollars in it. However, he still has the character of a crocodile around a basket of kittens. If I constantly refer to him as the millionaire, I’m not sure how helpful that would be.

It seems you are attaching far too much Prestige on what his job was. It doesn’t matter if he shined shoes at the bus station. Just let go that he was a doctor. He was still just a garden-variety asshole.

moominmamma
moominmamma
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

Maude, I’m not certain about anything related to my own path, let alone anyone elses. It sounds like nitpicking, to be focused on her screen name rather than what she just said in her story.You don’t know what her reasons are for choosing it, but it means something to her.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

IMO this is a safe place for chumps as we seek to express ourselves through our devastation and trauma. Your response to 1stDoctor’sWife seems very unsupportive and harsh and feels like an attack on a precious member.
1st — sending huge hugs! You keep doing YOU! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ You are perfect just as you are.

peacekeeper
peacekeeper
6 years ago

How I see it, Doctor’s1stWife&Kids
Will always be his first wife and his kids, so I, as MtherChumper99, respect her name as chosen by this Chump.
I always admire both the above posters of CN and feel privileged to be connected to them.
It is the initial pain of DDay that has brought each of us Chumps to this safe place called CN.
Thank you CL, CN for reaching out to each Chump in our time of need.
We owe it to each other to show respect toward each other.

Canyoufeelthemehtonight
Canyoufeelthemehtonight
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

From a doctor, whose cheater X is also a doctor (surgeon, which does fall into a certain stereotype). Lots of people who go into medicine think they are special. They’re not, it’s a special job but usually very ordinary people do it. The unfortunate thing is, lots of people (often young women) seem very impressed by the title and status and income and perceived “he’s a good guy because he’s an MD” air. Of myself and many other female doctors married to male colleagues, we seem to be left with monotonous regularity for a younger model.

I feel I am very defined by my job. I’ve spent/spend so many hours pursuing it, I care desperately about patients and trying to improve the system in which I treat them. I probably talk about it too much. However I do not think my profession gives me the right to ride roughshod over other peoples’ lives. I receive a good salary and job satisfaction and that is the recognition I need from society. My cheater of course is the polar opposite. Entitled, thinking he’s better than everybody else, that the rules don’t apply to him. I think the profession attracts narcs, training hones their narc-ness then once they start practising, the rewards are rich for a cluster-B.

In short – we’re not all fucked up, just a significant proportion.

brit
brit
6 years ago

Cheater is an airline pilot, hasn’t always been an airline pilot. We struggled financially while X earned flying hours.
Once Cheater was hired by a major airline as X gained seniority, X gradually transformed into a pompous, prima Dona jackass
When he’s asked what he does for a living and people hear “I’m a Captain for major airline,” people suddenly want to be his best friend.., it’s ridiculous.
Wearing his uniform in the airport he gets lots of attention, pilots are given special perks, eventually all the privilege and admiration goes to their heads resulting in an attitude of arrogance and entitlement. I find it disgusting.

eirene
eirene
6 years ago

Canyoufeelthemehtonight: Before my marriage to ExH, I briefly dated a 15-year older guy who was a recently-divorced scientist/full professor at the university where I was a grad student. It was a very new and interesting experience for me to be wined and dined at fabulous restaurants, to see shows on Broadway, and to have skiing weekends in Vermont.

However, after a month of the whirlwind fun,fun,fun, he began to show more and more signs of being a pretentious prig. I was wildly uncomfortable with his making dinner reservations in the name of “Dr. So-and-so,” as I guess I’m a reverse snob. Modesty and being down-to-earth are so much more attractive to me than crowing about your educational and professional achievements. Granted, the guy might have been showing off because he was in a very dark period of covert insecurity, as I later found out that the ex-wife who had left him was an unmitigated snob.

So I, too, had an initial adverse gut reaction to reading what DOCTOR’s1stWife&Kids chose as her moniker, but I understand the sentiment behind it.

eirene
eirene
6 years ago
Reply to  eirene

A few chumps here have changed their screen names as they continued to evolve after DDay. My former moniker was ColdT-rk-y, which reflected not only my withdrawal from the hopium pipe but also a significant portion of my former life when I was married to a puffed-up, blowhard archaeologist.

WordPress kept blocking my posts because of some spammer from that country (can’t type it or else I’ll get blocked again), so I took the opportunity to choose a new screen name, one that reflects my progress from the anxious chump I used to be to the more peaceful woman I hope to become.

So, Maude, this whole process of self-discovery is an exciting journey for each of us, once we make it out of the curled-up-in-a-ball, sobbing, pleading-with-god stage after learning that we were married to lying cheaters. Probably more than a few of us here have taken a while to begin to think of ourselves in a new light. I know I did.

Maude
Maude
6 years ago
Reply to  eirene

Yes, I want to help her. Many people, whom I would like to bludgeon, have said things to me like: but what about all his money?

He’s a millionaire!

And I have to admit for a few months I thought well, am I making some terrible mistake just because this guy has so much money?

I don’t want her to think that because he is a physician he is something special. Or that she is not fabulous in her own right – not defined by his job.

But I understand if she saying it as satire to his own arrogance. But I do think she should come up with a new screen name just to claim her own sacred space. ????❤️????

Kellia
Kellia
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

I agree a person’s profession shouldn’t define who they are. I read that the more high powered the profession, the more likely the person will be emotionally messed up. I listen to Youtube videos and there’s a counselor I usually listen to saying that in her career, the most messed up persons are doctors, engineers and other high powered professions.

Unexpectedchumpiness
Unexpectedchumpiness
5 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

I want to listen to that counselor. Can you supply the link? I was suspecting mine of the same thing… such a big ego with his new promotion drove him to cheating because his head got so big he couldn’t think straight. He had to leave his chumpy frumpy loyal wife doing the measly job of rasing our kids, selling a bunch of houses, maintaining the household and running an Airbnb (that paid our mortgage). Ungh. I was soooo beneath him. And I had no college degree, I was definitely not worth his awesomeness with him about to get his MBA and all.

Regina
Regina
6 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

I once knew a nurse I worked with for several months (because I was training her). She ended up quitting because she was a dominatrix on the side and it became very lucrative. She said most of her clients were Lawyers, Doctors, Cops, FBI and others whose job it is to dominate. After work I guess some want to be spanked, told they are a “bad boy” and put in a corner with their blankie. Wish I was kidding. This was over 20 years ago and at the time I was shocked. Some of what they are paying for may not even be sex!!
She told me they did not want sex, just punishment. ???

Eirene
Eirene
6 years ago
Reply to  Regina

Regina, this does not surprise me at all. My ex always manipulated me into chastising him when it really wasn’t my natural bent to be a taskmaster. One time he admitted that his previous gf had claimed the same thing. ExH was also into role-playing, and if I hadn’t objected, I have no doubt he would have tried to manipulate me into being his dominatrix.

I’ve gotta tell you, I do *not* want to speculate what he is getting his new poopsie to do to him now. Blecch.

However, my eyes perked up when I read “lucrative.” I imagine that there might be a lot of chumps who might be willing to work their way out of debt by beating up straying husbands. Sounds like a win-win to me!

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
6 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Now I get why my relationships have been so awful…) only partly kidding.
There may be some validity to what counselor said–although I know a few guys who are not powerful/prestigious/suoer/talented who are also royal jerks.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

A narc magnet chiming in here on this topic “I’m a SURGEON/the BOMB/the SH*T”

I was on a cycling trip being harassed by one of the doctors, Mr. Handsy. The second night over dinner we all shared our relationship status (divorced,a widow,marriage #3,never married and I think a couple of cheaters who found their “twu luv”). Doc with the nasty blackheads all over his schnozzola whined about his long term girlfriend who refused to accompany him on his bike vacations. I flicked him off me with the help of the guides and he moved on to the widow.

Google search after the trip and I discover that he had to pay out close to a million dollars in settlements ! Now was this due to his alcoholism (every night started with an aperitif followed by at least a bottle of wine and then a nightcap) or did he do some creepy ass sh*t with a patient under anesthesia ? Yuck

torontoChump
torontoChump
6 years ago
Reply to  Maude

I think she explained, months back, she refers to him as The Doctor simply because that’s how he thinks of himself… not as a nerdly cheater who only got other women bc of the MD after a name but as a great and prestigious physician.

SheChump
SheChump
6 years ago
Reply to  torontoChump

Yep, The DOCTOR’s1st Wife has her reasons that she explained to me awhile back. I had the same issue. Made perfect sense. 😉

SheChump
SheChump
6 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

Like my X – his job totally defined who he was. Bond Trader X, I guess. And I certainly felt like BT’s Wife and not much more.

VulcanChump
VulcanChump
6 years ago

“I was really starting to fall for you” – bitch cookie.

“Why didn’t you show up, I actually wanted to see you!” – bitch cookie.

“I love you.” – bitch cookie.

renee62
renee62
6 years ago

“I didn’t see her while your father was dying.” which was about 1 week. Just before & after uggggh!

Riley
Riley
6 years ago
Reply to  renee62

Such a sacrifice 🙁
Have they no shame?

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Riley

Riley, mine was on how many different dating sites, lying right to my face I wondered why it took him so long to shit each morning

Littleghostchump
Littleghostchump
6 years ago
Reply to  renee62

Just wow. I have no words. What a remarkable act of self control! One whole week!

Carol
Carol
6 years ago

Agreed it’s unreal these pieces of SLIME! I just thank God my divorce has gone through

Sturkel
Sturkel
6 years ago

My ex baked the birthday cake for my 40th birthday luncheon that my friends hosted. (He is very good at decorating cakes). This was after D Day and before his planned departure which my fiends and children didn’t know about. I just wanted to vomit at the table while everyone remarked about the cake. Later, he got mad at me for not thanking him for the cake. I told him I hate cake.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Sturkel

I’m so sorry I understand completely mine had his slut baking Christmas cupcakes for me this year with my children aged: 16 and 11 in my kitchen

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
6 years ago
Reply to  Sturkel

I”m impressed that you didn’t throw the cake at his face.

You Deplete Me
You Deplete Me
6 years ago
Reply to  Sturkel

Ah, yes. Cake. Dr. Skankenstein got a store-bought carrot cake for my birthday one year and was ever so pleased with himself. But then naturally I had to go and ruin the whole thing by pointing out that the side was coated in slivered almonds, and that I have been allergic to nuts my whole life. And that he had said dozens of times that he himself hates carrot cake. Turns out it was just the first thing he saw in the store.

Bunny-shaped bitch cookie with a frosty glass of anaphy-lactose intolerance

ChumpedinCanada
ChumpedinCanada
6 years ago
Reply to  You Deplete Me

I also got a “log” cake for my birthday last year. Ex works at a grocery store and always came home with discounted food about to expire. We go away for my birthday and he brings along an expired log cake. So proud of himself. We are away for 3 days and no other birthday present is given to me. We are driving home from hotel, I am upset and we fight in the car about it. His response: “Whoop-di-shit, I’ll get you something on Tuesday, you know I have no money…”
Me: You’ve known my birthday was coming all year!
Him: I have no money.
Me: You just paid your half for our hotel, beer and steak.
Him: I’m a single father under hardship. Why can’t you understand?

Log cake birthday. Bitch cookie.

Maude
Maude
6 years ago

I am sorry- it is horrible but so hilariously tragic funny.

A discounted log cake…. Which resembles a turd.

He’s a real prize. You should be doing a tribal victory dance around a bonfire every night that he is not in your life.

KeepItMoving
KeepItMoving
6 years ago
Reply to  Sturkel

How fitting. A cheater who is good at making “cake”.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  KeepItMoving

Hehehe

Sturkel
Sturkel
6 years ago
Reply to  Sturkel

*friends

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Sturkel

Well, there was one fiend there… 😉

Sturkel
Sturkel
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

LOL!

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago

“I wasn’t always a horrible person. I just became one because you forced me to be one. I didn’t ask for much. All I wanted was a beautiful successful sexy wife. If you did what you were supposed to do this wouldn’t have happened.”

Bitch cookie for restraining the demon until after we got married. Extra bitch cookie for being a professional dickbag and lacing every comment with an insult.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago

I understand

Littleghostchump
Littleghostchump
6 years ago

I got this too, except he admitted he was always a horrible person. I wasn’t what he thought I would be bc of sacrifices I made for him and his all important career.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago

How about a turd cookie for that one. What an entitled ass. I guess he didn’t consider that you wanted a husband who wasn’t a horrible person. If he weren’t an asshole, none of this would have happened.

Triumphafterterror
Triumphafterterror
6 years ago

Ditto!!

Sausalito
Sausalito
6 years ago

Hey, at least he admitted he is a horrible person. I never even got that. But of course every terrible thing he did was my fault…

struggling
struggling
6 years ago

“I resisted her for as long as I could”

Buddy
Buddy
6 years ago
Reply to  struggling

This is a common lie that cheaters tell “I wasn’t interested at all and resisted, but he/she kept pursuing me. He/she was very charming, persistent, persuasive, seductive, enchanting, etc.”

Then they’ll combing this with “… and you weren’t meeting my emotional needs.”

But yeah, it’s just a lie – they were fully intrigued and interested and responsive and receptive from Day 1, because that is what they are.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Yup that one is also in my ex husbands play book!

ozchic
ozchic
6 years ago
Reply to  struggling

Oh you brave, brave soldier!!!

oldcrone
oldcrone
6 years ago
Reply to  struggling

How about: “I tried to end it with her”?
This was a ten-year affair with a neighbor. They had a “marriage” ceremony and exchanged rings, because she wanted a “commitment” from him. Yes, make sure that your fuck-buddy feels secure in your relationship when you are cheating on your wife of (at that time) over 30 years.
I guess he must have tried REALLY hard to break it off with her, but, gosh time just got away from him.
Still no word about how hard he tried to “break it off” with all the women and men from Craigslist he was having sex with for the last decade.
So, please give the guy a great big bitch cookie. Maybe I’ll serve it up with the divorce papers.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  oldcrone

Omg that is really fucked up!????

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
6 years ago
Reply to  oldcrone

Got that one to. But she kept calling him wah wah. I told him I wasn’t aware that we had to fuck everybody who called us. guess I’ve been doing it wrong.

SlinkyRacoon
SlinkyRacoon
6 years ago
Reply to  struggling

Got it, too. This one makes me rage.

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
6 years ago
Reply to  SlinkyRacoon

I got< "I just couldn't resist the looks."

WTF?! Googly eyed looks across the room? Are you effing 12?

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Golfgrrl

That’s exactly what I said your a 53 year old man with two kids and your running around like a teenager in heat

Librawoman
Librawoman
6 years ago
Reply to  Golfgrrl

I was asked, Do you think OW is pretty?

waffles
waffles
6 years ago
Reply to  Librawoman

On DD, XH, she’s a fucking dog.

Maude
Maude
6 years ago
Reply to  Librawoman

DEF CON 5 triangulation.
What a bitch boy.
I am sorry he said that to you.

PrisonChump
PrisonChump
6 years ago
Reply to  Librawoman

That is super messed us! Hugs to you fellow libra!

Sunflower36
Sunflower36
6 years ago
Reply to  Librawoman

No. She’s a big, fat, ugly whore.

J_O7
J_O7
6 years ago
Reply to  struggling

I got this one too.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
6 years ago
Reply to  struggling

Yes!

Thankful
Thankful
6 years ago

My ex is not getting any cookies, bitch or other wise.

He is almost $4000 in arrears in school fees and has instructed the shool to allocate any fees he dose pay to the eldest child leaving the younger childs unpaid. all because she stopped visiting his abusive ass last June.
And last months child support was a total of $13.14.
Yet to claim on the childrens heath insurance I need to just blindly hand over a $1200 paid account and trust that he will claim it and refund me when it comes back. Or I go without claiming it.

oh and is refusing to explain why he is not paying fees or provide me a list of what the children are covered for on the health insurance so I know there is no point in asking why the child support is so low.

NO COOKIES FOR YOU! BITCH!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Nope. No cookies for exh2 either.
He’s close to $10,000 in child support arrears, he only sees DD on his obligated weekends, does not participate in any other time in DD’s life, etc.
He’s worthless, not even deserving of a macaroon (blech!)

Blee
Blee
6 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Lawyer up and hammer his ass !

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Blee

Agreed

MyRedSandals
MyRedSandals
6 years ago

“I meant it when I said it”

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  MyRedSandals

Yep, got that one too.

Chumptastic
Chumptastic
6 years ago
Reply to  MyRedSandals

OMG.. I got that too. I had completely forgotten about it. HAHA

Susan
Susan
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumptastic

I meant it when I said it, but later I felt like me not seeing her anymore was just you demanding your way.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  Susan

Just you demanding a little respect and decency

Mg
Mg
6 years ago

“I did 50% of the tasks i set out to do and its my day off!”
Laundry – he washed and left the pile on bed so it gets wrinkled and frumpy.
Vacuumed (badly)
Didn’t do dishes.
What he *did do* was jerk off 5 times that day – after going sexless marriage for past 3 weeks.
Chocolate chip bitch cookie gor the 50%. I got verbal abuse for picking up slack on remaining 50% after coming home from work.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Mg

Omg GROSSE and I agree about the laundry that drives me crazy also

OCchump
OCchump
6 years ago
Reply to  Mg

Ah yes. They don’t want to do the work but get mad when you do it. Sounds familiar.

I would come home from work and finish all the housework. She told me even though I never said anything it felt like I was criticizing her by picking up the slack.

One of the many things that made me such a horrible person that deserved to be cheated on.

Good lord.

nomar
nomar
6 years ago
Reply to  OCchump

Ah, yes, doing more than your fair share of the housework AND being resented for it. Bonus! And sometimes even APOLOGIZING for doing more than my fair share, because she said, “you make me feel uncomfortable in my own home.” Because how I feel when our bedroom is overwhelmed with teetering mountains of your dirty laundry doesn’t matter. #goodtimes

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
6 years ago
Reply to  OCchump

“I was going to do that!” (Name whatever task) And when I finally give up in disgust and do it myself, then I have “injured” and “emasculated” him. Oh, and I certainly didn’t do it correctly. When confronted with this behavior at our MC, he very grandly asked me to make him a list of small, medium, large tasks, and he would attend to them. That was 18 months ago. Two have gotten done, and guess who did them?

Taking charge of my life, one task at a time.

The so-called emasculation is one of the many reasons I am such a bitch, and why he cheated.

All. My. Fault.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, asshole.

AC
AC
6 years ago
Reply to  ivyleaguechump

The act of making the promise becomes the fulfillment of the promise. He never had any intention of actually doing what he said he’d do. He just wanted me to acknowledge his good intentions and leave him alone.

Because, l discovered, talk is what’s important. Actions take time and effort, which means they should be done by someone else. Preferably someone he hired, to mow the lawn, trim the bushes, repair the screens, clean the house… and even better if he can avoid paying the bill himself.

Hey, he did the hard work finding and hiring someone to do what he refused to do. Why shoudn’t I be willing to do my part and pay the bill? Because, you see, even though he has plenty of money coming in every month, he’s always broke.

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
6 years ago
Reply to  AC

“Acknowledge my words! Pay no attention to the inaction!!”

Oh, AC, you are absolutely right. I think he believes that he WILL do (whatever), but when pressed to actually come through, the resentment and hedging starts. Then he accuses ME of being half-assed about doing (whatever). Inertia is King, in his world, along with flat-out lies.

OCchump
OCchump
6 years ago
Reply to  ivyleaguechump

Oh yeah the MC.

That was one of the things on her long list of stuff I did to make her have an affair.

She’s such an asshole.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
6 years ago
Reply to  ivyleaguechump

That brought back memories for me to. Heard the same thing. He was embarrassed in front of the neighbors because I made him look bad by mowing the lawn. I emasculated him. 34 years he was never embarrassed enough to actually mow the freaking lawn

eirene
eirene
6 years ago
Reply to  ivyleaguechump

Oh god, ivyleague. This brought back a torrent of memories.

I do NOT miss having to surreptiously redo the ONE thing that he finally got around to doing a half-assed job on, after weeks of my gentle reminders (verbal, email, text, sticky note, voicemail…). If I ever again hear the words “remind me later,” someone’s gonna get seriously hurt. Or “You just didn’t give me enough time to do it. You’re so impatient, eirene.”

I have to go meditate now and bring down my blood pressure.

MrsVain
MrsVain
6 years ago
Reply to  eirene

same here.. ..

i HATE to hear anyone say “i was going to___”.. .. i was going to do the dishes. i was going to fix the sink. i was going to do the laundry. i was going to throw the trash.. .. right 3 bags of trash and you were “going to” do it.. .. it drives me nuts… . i jump all over my kids if they say that to me.. . either do or dont do it but dont make excuses.. .. i hate that “was going to”

and of course the shit he DID do was always half ass.. . for example we had a dishwasher. he would literally put the plates, bowls and cups in the dishwasher.. .. he NEVER put the silverware or pots.. . like it is soooOOOOoo hard to load a dishwasher and turn it on.. . ..

if i ever said anything about it then i would hear how i was “never happy with anything he did”.. .. or how i bitch if it is not “done my way”..

apparently i emasculated him by expecting him to do it right and not half ass.

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
6 years ago
Reply to  eirene

Oh, here is a bitch cookie for just saying you will do something (not that you actually ever will).

Mg
Mg
6 years ago
Reply to  ivyleaguechump

Yepp. It’s the usual “*I’ll* be doing dishes!” When i set out to work, 9 hours later ctheome home to sink still full, he’d spent the entire fucking day either listening to music and drinking or jerking off to online whores and drinking and i silently started doing dishes he’d come flying into the kitchen in a drunken rage “i was going to do those! You just made me out to be a liar!”.

cupcake
cupcake
6 years ago
Reply to  Mg

“I wuz gonna” (it’s now done)… th’ worst!

Feelingit
Feelingit
6 years ago

Received this from fuckwit’s latest lawyer yesterday. My lawyer and I think he deserves a couple dozen bitch cookies for this one as there is a court order in place that he has to provide me with health insurance and we found out in January, I was no longer covered. Irony, I received this the day after I had surgery to remove a breast lesion with atypical cells. And fuckwit and good faith- a true oxymoron.

We have spoken to our client regarding the health insurance/expense issue. He has indicated that he is willing to voluntarily pay Feelingit’s monthly premiums to the June Court date, as well as the unreimbursed expenses that were previously provide to us. This is intended as a gesture of good faith; it is not intended to be an admission that he is solely or partially responsible for those expenses, nor does his gesture indicate some type of agreement regarding such expenses going forward. Instead, we are simply trying to (1) remedy a situation that will cost about as much in counsel fees to fight over as the health expenses themselves, and (2) show some good faith in an effort to get this case on a more positive track. My hope is that we will all be sitting down together in the near future to explore alternatives to a trial that will surely go well beyond the 5 days scheduled in June

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
6 years ago
Reply to  Feelingit

I’m sorry, but that just strikes me as funny. It’s so transparently “We all know I was supposed to pay this, and I am paying it, but I am throwing words on a page to attempt to deny what this obviously implies.” Check with your lawyer that this means nothing and take the money.

My ex wrote (and I signed) a statement that her leaving the house was not “abandonment”. It wasn’t legally enforceable but it got her out of the house. Check with a lawyer, but if letting him throw in meaningless extra verbiage gets you more money / more custody / more peace, then by all means accept it!

I accepted stuff in my divorce agreement that I knew was unenforceable because letting her think she was pulling a fast one on me smoothed the process. For instance, she refused to let me register our youngest in my school district (owned formerly marital home) instead of hers (short-term rental, 1 mile away) until I agreed that I would fetch the kids from her house whenever she needed me to; it’s what I refer to as the “beck and call” clause: “Husband shall reasonably assist Wife with transportation to school from Wife’s residence, if Wife needs his assistance”. I knew she would never use it – she just wanted it in there to prove that divorce didn’t end my obligation to help her manage her life.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
6 years ago
Reply to  Feelingit

Feeling It,
My husband took me off insurance plans and mailing lists for accountants several times. I’m sorry that you are going through this!

peacekeeper
peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  Feelingit

Feelingit,
After reading your post my kitchen looks like a war zone. I am baking up batches of bitch cookies for fuckwit and his legal team, be it one lawyer or whatever. Lots of cookies will be needed as they are fat pigs!
Seems I am low on some ingredients and have to run to the store. I can think of some very nasty things to add to my receipe.
Honestly you just can’t make this shit up.

“a gesture of good faith” they say. They need to look up the definition of “faith”
( they seem to be squirming a little and that is a good thing)!

I will bake extra “bitch cookies” for Chumps to give out, my oven will sing!
Fun Friday love to my CN Family,
You are amazing, thank you for always holding me up!

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  peacekeeper

Agreed you just cannot make this shit up it’s seriously hard to believe these are supposed adults??

Feelingit
Feelingit
6 years ago
Reply to  peacekeeper

Thanks peacekeeper! You make me smile! I would love to be at a cookie baking party in your kitchen. We could all laugh and help you clean up the “sh$t”!

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago
Reply to  Feelingit

Milk of magnesia works a treat as an ingredient

Jodi Lynch
Jodi Lynch
6 years ago

Mine doesn’t deserve any bitch cookies. Why? Because I think you have to do SOMETHING in order to get one.

He never did anything he was supposed to do ~ before or after his cheating escapades.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  Jodi Lynch

So, for you Jodi, it is one big “black hole bitch cookie”

coolinmn
coolinmn
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Yup. No bitch cookie for spending the children’s college funds on an engagement ring (not for me – we were married 21 years)!

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  coolinmn

Omg I feel so badly!????

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
6 years ago
Reply to  coolinmn

My ex spent what was supposed to go into our kids’ college savings fund on sex with prostitutes.
His relatives tell me that they are sorry that he divorced me and then, ‘But he loves the kids!’ One of these days I might tell them how he used the kids’ college money…

Linda
Linda
6 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

At least yours earned money. I have had to work and provide for us because (insert latest excuse) and it is all my fault according to CH. I love Chump Nation. I know that I am not alone and that we will find Meh some beautiful Tuesday.

Chumpmama
Chumpmama
6 years ago

“But … I made sure I did not have sex with you when I started sleeping with she-who-must-not-be-named (when I was 4 months post partum with our second child after a horrible miscarriage).” Bitch cookie

“She hides when you drop off the kids at my apartment (after we discussed the OW not being around our kids)… out of respect.” Dumb Bitch Cookie

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpmama

I know exactly the dumb slut comes right to my home when he brings the kids. She knew full well he was a married man that just encouraged her.

KAF
KAF
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpmama

Uggg – I got the exact same lines

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
6 years ago

He’s paying the mortgage on the family home, like he has for 13 years, and because it’s court ordered. – bitch cookie

He checked the kids grades online – bitch cookie

He makes the college payments for our daughter from the 529 plan in his name – bitch cookie

He shopped for and wrapped Christmas presents all by himself – bitch cookie

He wants to see the kids – bitch cookie, demanding to do it during my parenting time – entitlement cupcake!

He’s letting me keep things acquired during our 16 year marriage – bitch cookie

Thank you for this reminder CL! When the income earner is playing “starve out the other spouse” it’s easy to forget that they don’t deserve a prize for doing things they are supposed to do.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Mine plays starve out the other spouse what can you do about that?

Sunrise
Sunrise
6 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

“Well, I’m taking our kids (with still perfect vision) to WalMart for their annual eye exams Wednesday night during MY parenting time. As custodial parent, doctor, dentist, orthodontist, counselor and physical therapist appointments are your responsibility.”
3 Bare-minimum bitch cookies. Only 10 calories each.

Sunrise
Sunrise
6 years ago
Reply to  Sunrise

Forgot haircuts, music lessons, tutor, religious education, early morning/late night practices, school/church socials and volunteer activities.

12YearsWasted
12YearsWasted
6 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Entitlement cupcake, lmao….we need to add this to the vernacular around here.

Out West
Out West
6 years ago

‘Because of you, I can’t be the father I want to be’

AC
AC
6 years ago
Reply to  Out West

Because of you, I sure HOPE he isn’t the kind of father he wants to be. Your kids need a responsible dad in their lives, not a self-serving weasel accountable only to himself.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  AC

Exactly that’s what my kids have for a dad a male slut

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  Out West

Yep, same here.

“I don’t come around or ask for extra time with DD, because I don’t want to have to deal with you and your bullshit!!!”

Yeah, blame me for abandoning wife and daughter and going straight to OWhore.

Mandie101
Mandie101
6 years ago
Reply to  Out West

Got that. Along with ” let me be a good father!”

Drama anyone?

OhHellNo
OhHellNo
6 years ago
Reply to  Out West

fuck that shit, Out West. words escape me over this one

same here

harrietp123
harrietp123
6 years ago

But it was ONLY two women in 30years, the hookers, porn and dating sites meant nothing, it’s you I love , I promise it’ll never happen again ……..BITCH COOKIE !

Mommamarsh
Mommamarsh
6 years ago
Reply to  harrietp123

“It was only a blow job in the parking lot.”

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  harrietp123

Similar to my bitch cookie: Sparkledick von Glitterballs huffed and puffed for his last time under what had been our roof: “but I was NEVER promiscuous!”. Bastard!

cashmere
cashmere
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Hahaha. I got, “I only had four affairs.” Righhhhhhhhht. “Only.” But of course there were many more. Admitted to four, probably actually dozens. There aren’t enough bitch cookies in the world for that one.

IDeserveBetter
IDeserveBetter
6 years ago
Reply to  cashmere

I asked how many? He said only the 3 (that I had already told him I knew about) Then I asked “What about the woman on the cruise?”…..his response…Oh yeah that too.
Of course I later found out that he is a serial cheater there were too many to count.

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  cashmere

LOL, I love it I only had 4 affairs

Geode
Geode
6 years ago
Reply to  cashmere

I got the erectile dysfunction excuse: “I have a medical condition that only prostitutes can remedy.”

You’re f’ing kidding me bitch cookie.

coolinmn
coolinmn
6 years ago
Reply to  Geode

Then don’t stay married! If you want to live like that, get divorced. I’ll bet he did not tell you this gem until after he was caught.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  harrietp123

Yeah, it meant nothing, and it wasn’t about me. Well, that helps. (Not.)

livefortoday2
livefortoday2
6 years ago

Hey” I followed the divorce decree.” This comment only after I filed a motion to take him back to court and had him processed served. He thought he was doing something extra special while delivering said court ordered documents through our adult daughter and accusing me of using the her to deliver documents.

Double choco chip bitch cookie.

defeatedchump
defeatedchump
6 years ago

How about this: yes, I had unprotected sex with them all because I trusted them not to have STD’s and not to want to get pregnant, but I always used condoms with you anyway throughout the marriage to keep you safe.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  defeatedchump

OMG

Lady B
Lady B
6 years ago
Reply to  defeatedchump

Wow narc logic in motion, perfect.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
6 years ago
Reply to  defeatedchump

Defeated Chump,
I heard that one, too. I got to inform my husband that his AP told me, but not him, that she had a couple of incurable STDs. Joke’s on him!

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  defeatedchump

Ok, that is totally twisted, on the other hand, thank god he did use condoms with you if he wasn’t with them. No cookie though.

Indomitable
Indomitable
6 years ago

You’re assuming that he actually used condoms just because he said he used condoms? He is a liar. Nothing can or should be believed.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  Indomitable

In this case he used condoms with the chump and not the APs. I think she would know, unless he was poking holes in them or something but with these creeps who knows.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Indomitable

Spot on!

Spoonriver
Spoonriver
6 years ago

” I didn’t use condoms because we both have been in committed relationships.” This about the OW whore he met on Adult Friend Finder. I don’t think he understood the word “committed”.

Riley
Riley
6 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

omg this too! My jaw hit the floor when he said that.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  defeatedchump

The condom thing. Gawd.

nomar
nomar
6 years ago

“I never had sex with you and him on the same day.”

“He paid for the hotels, not me.”

“The sex wasn’t all that great. He always played weird music and kind of went into creepy trance.”

All said during brief effort at reconciliation. Hard to believe now that none of these were dealbreakers. SMH.

Stale, moldy, generic Hydrox knock-off bitch cookies. The kind sold by The Evil Girl Scouts outside the Wal-Mart in the Fifth Ring of Hell.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

LOLOLOL, yyyeeeaaaassss!!!

Maude
Maude
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Nomar- she makes a Lot Lizard look like Emily Post.

NotANiceChump
NotANiceChump
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Lol, I hear this. I got…”she was gonna reimburse me for half her plane ticket [for her flight to pursue affair with my ex]…I wasn’t gonna pay for the whole thing.”

Ahhhhh, such a gentleman across the board!

OCchump
OCchump
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Good God nomar. Well I’m sure you slept better at night with those nuggets of information.

I got “I wasn’t with him until I knew our marriage was over”

She forgot one small thing. Letting me know that the marriage was over!

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  OCchump

Oopsie. Forgot to tell you.

Wormfree2017
Wormfree2017
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Hydrox!!! Lolol. I’d forgotten those until now, Nomar!
Worm, “But I sleep at home every night”
and “I put money in our accounts every pay period”.
That apparently justifies cheating, punching me repeatedly in the face and throwing me across the room…..good times………

jme
jme
6 years ago
Reply to  Wormfree2017

so sorry wormfree. i’ve been pulverized too.

ChChChChump
ChChChChump
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Ah, I got, “Any time I had sex with both of you on the same day, I always showered in between.”: Butch cookie!

And, “OWhore was really mad at me and even threatened to end it with me when I refused to stop having sex with you, but I was loyal to you and kept having sex with you.”: pizza-sized bitch-cookie-topped-party-sized entitlement cake!

ChChChChump
ChChChChump
6 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

Lots of bitch cookies for OWhore:

“I never said anything disrespectful about you to Fucktard!”

“I urged him to go comfort you when you found out about us!”

“Sex was only a small part of our relationship – most of it was activities we could all have done together!”

“I never technically went to bed with him.” (No, they fucked only on some blankets she laid out on the floor, precisely so she could deny ‘going to bed’ with him)

“I tried to get to know you better so I would feel bad about having an affair with your husband.”

She should gain 30 pounds from all the bitch cookies I’d give her

Littleghostchump
Littleghostchump
6 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

Me too! Thank you SO MUCH for the thoughtfulness of showering after condom free sex w sparkle pussy! Downright gentlemanly!

Tbone
Tbone
6 years ago

Text to OW: “I’m washing dishes rn. Bc I know Tbone likes this. So I am doing it. Because…she won’t like what happens. I’m not going to treat her poorly. We will just….separate.”

Washing dishes after a family meal I planned, shopped for, cooked, and you ate—probably while I gave our DD a bath? BITCH COOKIE!

Delusional idea that after 19+ years of marriage that when I find out he’s planning marriage to one of his OW we will “just…separate”? Words fail me, but I suspect that it’s a major kibble for OW for winning at the pick me dance. Poor thing didn’t know he was cheating on her, too.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago

“I left the hotel before the she (Craigslist hooker) arrived, I knew I just couldn’t go through with it.”

“I only responded to those personal ads because I knew you had put spyware on my computer.” (Note: I found the emails in a trash folder from 6 months before I put the spyware on the computer.

“That was the first time I ever did anything like that.”

“I left her hotel room because I knew I couldn’t go through with it.” (Separate instance, business trip, same bitch cookie – these fuckwits are NOT original.)

Letitsnow
Letitsnow
6 years ago

“I may have done all those things, but I’m not a bad person”
Incredibly delusional.
He gets a seven layer bar.

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
6 years ago

“You should be answering my calls and texts…….. I left you a bunch of gifts at the house for your birthday……. I want to spend the weekend with you”
Previous weekend was spent “alone” with homeslice at the beach for her birthday. How fucking romantic. Bitch Cookie for remembering my birthday. And a fuck you just because.

Chumptastic
Chumptastic
6 years ago

“She is 10 down the list of women I would have an affair with. I have lunch all the time with women. ”

This statement was given to me when I found out he met the OW for lunch after the initial D-day.

Trying for Mighty
Trying for Mighty
6 years ago

Thirty-five years married. The morning of the first day I was to spend my first night in my new (but as yet scantily furnished) apartment I got a call from my doctor’s office telling me a cancer screening test I’d undergone “came back positive.” He said, “Do you want me to come over after work? Just because I’m not married to you doesn’t mean I can’t care about you.” Wow. Bitch cookie extraordinaire.
I’ve thought about that self-serving dispensing of emotional largesse, and I’ve decided that, actually, his not being married to me means he doesn’t get to (pretend to) care about me. Or for me. He didn’t care for me or about me when we were married, and he doesn’t get to earn “benevolent points” now.

Kibbled Again
Kibbled Again
6 years ago

Preach. I’m dealing with the same heroic a$$hole behaviour right now. I’m supposed to be gracious that he is so kind to me (even though that could flip on a dime if it suits him). He is not entitled to be “gracious” to me.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  Kibbled Again

The whole turn on a dime thing. That scares me. I know how good he is at resentment. That is why I am civil to him. It makes coordinating kids schedules/college tuition/child support etc. so much easier. Now he wants me to be civil to Schmoopie too (not that I am uncivil, I just avoid her and don’t ever talk about her at all with the kids, but that isn’t good enough). I can tell he is now resenting me for that and I worry about what that will do to our otherwise relatively amical coordination so far. I insist on holding that boundary, however. I will continue to ignore Schmoopie. That’s as civil as I am capable of being right now.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
6 years ago

Gah!!!
Nope. Not me either. I have never spoken one word to OWife, ever. That’s as close to civil I will ever be.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago

Exactly.

Carrie
Carrie
6 years ago

“We only slept together twice” my ex let me know after me finding his online messages to MOW #1 when he explained it really wasn’t cheating

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
6 years ago
Reply to  Carrie

I only slept with her once… maybe twice.. ok three times. It was only going on for 6 weeks…1 year… ok maybe 2 years. And that’s the truth, you can ask her. In reality it was TEN YEARS!

TaraBelle
TaraBelle
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

My favourite: “I only fucked her twice. Maybe less, 8 times” *insert eye roll and cognitive dissonace*. It’s not the Méxican Airforce one landing! Although he does claim to run a small country. Oops, business. ????

J_O7
J_O7
6 years ago
Reply to  Carrie

I got “we only had sex one time”, because you know, blow jobs, hand jobs, and other things like that are about as harmless as a high five.

Burnedtoomanytimes
Burnedtoomanytimes
6 years ago
Reply to  J_O7

This must be from the cheater’s songsheet. During a conversation about all the times he had cheated, my ex said of one particular person: “It’s not my fault I was with her – I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and it wasn’t cheating. I only fingered her. I didn’t have sex with her.” Well that’s all right then!

Thankful
Thankful
6 years ago

The year I came to terms with my husband being a gaslighting, cheating, son of a bitch. I also waked with my youngest daughter through her cancer journey. For her tenth birthday that year he insisted on throwing her a massive party in the park inviting everyone he could think of. Claiming that he had always wanted to do it (throw birthday parties for the kids) but I had always stopped him. He didn’t just want a cookie he wanted the whole shop. Fast forward 3 years and the kid had to wait three months for her birhtday presents and when he handed them over when she visited at christmas she was them forbidden to bring them home.

Narc only does stuff if he can get a pay of out of it. Bitch cookie, cake, slice, triffle, he will take it all. If he can’t have the payoff he is not interesed, not even in his children.

Thankful
Thankful
6 years ago

*walked

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
6 years ago

“She paid for all the times we stayed in hotels. She’s got a lot of money and she’ll get more when her parents die.” Bitch cookie.

“I chose you.” This was his argument that he was “all in” after dday, one that he repeated to our youngest son. Double chocolate bitch cookie.

J_O7
J_O7
6 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

“I chose you” – heard that one. Rolling my eyes so hard right now!

Gorillapoop
Gorillapoop
6 years ago
Reply to  J_O7

“I chose you.” Yay! Cue 3 years of wreckonciliation and pick me dancing before the next DDay. Our marriage counselor made a lot of money off me, keeping my hopium alive. What a chump.

Riley
Riley
6 years ago
Reply to  J_O7

I got this too. Like I should be soooooo grateful I won the bag o’ shite 🙂

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
6 years ago
Reply to  J_O7

Yes…..”you were the better choice, you’re more mature than her”.

Choose a tall glass of paying spousal support for several years asswipe.

TaraBelle
TaraBelle
6 years ago

Lost220# ???????????? these were the exact sentiments I graciously reminded him of when his Ukrainian bride didn’t ‘pan’ out. He assumed I’d be his plan b. #bitchplease … my eyebrows are fleek and require no permanent tattooing. Bahhhhh!!! The emotional and financial betrayal tab he rang up ain’t clear. Not for a while ????

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
6 years ago

Better than, “Don’t let her win…”

Bitch cookie with shit ice cream on top…

ozchic
ozchic
6 years ago
Reply to  Golfgrrl

I bet that stirred your competitive appetite Golfgrrl!!!! Yum!

Atthealtar
Atthealtar
6 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

“I chose you!” after another six months of “false recovery. ” (yes I fell into the RIC for years, what a waste!).

Yeah he chose me and I was so lucky cuz he’s the big prize. He’s with yet another and I kinda feel sorry for her.

hollowbunny
hollowbunny
6 years ago

One for cheater: “but I never loved her and I ended it before I told you.”

One for bitch mil:”I can’t fire mow, she’s shown this family and company loyalty.”

Oh Mylanta.

DavidB
DavidB
6 years ago

I was faithful the first 20 years!
I took my ring off before fucking my boyfriend because of how much you and it meant to me!

Drew
Drew
6 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

No words. Fucktard X ran off with his AP (we were married 20 years) but I wonder if that’s only because his life was blowing up and he could no longer juggle his lying house of cards. His AP had let him know that she was not going to fuck a(nother) married man until he dumped his wife, oh, but that she would also be calling me to let me know about the affair. So either way he was screwed, but I believe he actually valued his fuck partner because she seemlessly fit so easily into his life’s narrative. I stumbled onto a news article celebrating their nuptials by someone who knew them and apparently they had been an item for years, she went on to share they sacrificed their love to “raise their children while unhappily married to their spouses,” BITCH COOKIE. Looking back I wonder if perhaps X wasn’t cheating all along, and when Ms. Convenient came along it was “true love.” I was just too naive to know and he had plenty of opportunity. It would explain a lot of my feelings, I was often blindsided by some of his personal choices (going on vacations without me, purchasing expensive items, etc). Life with him always felt off balance. Our marriage was unequal, I always did more, and wanted to believe the “fairy tale,” but in the end it felt like he had always had secrets.

Chumpomatic
Chumpomatic
6 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

Mine didnt even take the ring off. Yeap, fun times at my expense while I get the payment.

Kathleen
Kathleen
6 years ago

I have feelings for someone else. If I take it to the next level (fucking her)
.. I’ll let you know!

Low life sociopath.. I will HATE him forever ????

jme
jme
6 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

what a waste of skin

OCchump
OCchump
6 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Yup. This. STBXW said the same thing.

NoKibble4U
NoKibble4U
6 years ago
Reply to  OCchump

I got a variation of this shit: “NoKibble4U, I am attracted to all sorts of women now whereas I never even looked before. I am particularly interested in one of my coworkers. We send flirtatious emails and have occasional lunches. I haven’t done anything…yet.”

Cookie Crisp Bitch Cookie. (The cereal that never tasted like it was supposed to taste – just a bunch of processed crap with a “non-nutritive cereal varnish” and “crunch enhancer”. Kind of like sociopathic ex.

jme
jme
6 years ago
Reply to  NoKibble4U

what a waste of skin

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Simple comment but one of the most evil. You just be a good girl and sit and quietly wait. I decide your worth and if and when I’ll bring the pain.
I hate him with you.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
6 years ago

Geeeeezzzzzuuussss.
Lord of Hell, he is

Kathleen
Kathleen
6 years ago

Whatringofhellisthis

Exactly!! And to think I had so many red flags..
Angry at myself for doing the pick me dance for too long.

I never hated anyone before but now I do wish him
all the pain I endured- 10 times over!

Hugs ???? to you

Kathleen
Kathleen
6 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Note; to make it worse, he was already f—-king
her: ????

Attie
Attie
6 years ago

I don’t think anything serious happened because when I woke up I had my clothes on. Said after returning from a business trip to Africa and after going to get himself an AIDS test. Got stinking drunk in the hotel bar and woke up with a prostitute giving him a blow job – but he still had his clothes on. Bitch cookie!

J_O7
J_O7
6 years ago

“I resisted his advances for a loooong time!”

“It’s not like I went with a bunch of other guys like some people do. It was only one guy”

J_O7
J_O7
6 years ago
Reply to  J_O7

“I told him that we couldn’t do anything on the bed I share with you, that would be too personal”

Ivy_Tech
Ivy_Tech
6 years ago
Reply to  J_O7

Please flesh, stop crawling!

Still I Rise
Still I Rise
6 years ago

I may have shared this one before…

“I should get credit for all of the years I didn’t cheat! I turned down so many chances!”

Oreo Double Stuf drenched in Godiva chocolate and dusted with 24k gold leaf for this!

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago

This isn’t ex but it is a guy who harassed me back in the day during a summer job (that I eventually quit-the boss was no help). He kept feeling up my breasts. I was too timid to slug him or kick him in the balls (wish I had) but I did try to avoid him and I did tell him to stop because it made me uncomfortable. I also reminded him that he was married and it wasn’t appropriate for him to be touching a young woman’s breasts. His response “I would never cheat on my wife, I would feel guilty about that”. Bitch cookie for him. He was just feeling me up (unwanted). It’s not like he raped me or anything. Then he would have been cheating on his wife (among other things).

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago

#kickhimintheballs
#punchhiminthethroat

Riley
Riley
6 years ago

Yes scumbag right there.

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
6 years ago

What a scum sucking psycho. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And I’m so sorry for his wife, too…

David2016
David2016
6 years ago

While she was still having an open affair:

(Studying her nails) “I really need a manicure, but I won’t; it’s too expensive. See the sacrifices I make for our family?”

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
6 years ago
Reply to  David2016

Delusional bitch.

TheBestMe
TheBestMe
6 years ago
Reply to  David2016

The cry of the disordered… always the victim.

No Shit Cupcakes
No Shit Cupcakes
6 years ago