TJ Holmes and Amy Robach Are Engaged
Workplace affair Schmoopies and mediocre podcasters TJ Holmes and Amy Robach are engaged. At last?
***
All you bitter bunnies who thought it would never last, sit up and listen:
TJ Holmes and Amy Robach are engaged!
What are you nattering on about Tracy?
Love moppets TJ Holmes and Amy Robach! I’d link to my previous snark on them, but Google made me take it down as “dangerous and derogatory.” Remember the Good Morning America broadcasters shitcanned by ABC News for their workplace affair who then re-invented themselves as podcasters? The dry-humping in the parking lot? Dry January?
Vaguely.
Well, they have pledged themselves to a giant circus tent of impression management commitment ceremony promising devotion and monogamy!
They made the big announcement on their podcast.
Holmes added, ‘We wanted to let you all know before anybody else was able to; we’ve learned that lesson, I guess, in the past about our relationship.’
I’m not sure which lesson you’re referring to. The one where you aren’t currently married to other people?
They named the episode of the podcast ‘Robach-Holmes,’ an ode to their new last names.
I can see the embroidered cocktail napkins now. Heck, I bet there is a new logo. You know there is a mood board.
Holmes explained during the podcast episode that Robach had been wearing her engagement ring out in public, but no one had seemed to leak the news.
Because no one cares.
Alas, it’s been three years, Amy. You may call yourself a “renowned television broadcast host” but you’re not on television, or many people’s radar despite the thirsty rebranding. This has been a long, slow tease with TJ. Forgive the public if they wandered off to go watch cement dry.
‘I was in three massive football stadiums three weekends in a row, wearing my engagement ring very proudly, very excitedly, and kept waiting for somebody to point it out or ask me, “Hey, what’s that?” And it never happened.’ Robach said.
Fortunately, you have a podcast to tell everyone! And a publicity budget! AMY ROBACH HAS A DIAMOND RING!
You know it’s going to work out between Amy and TJ because:
- He had other relationships with ABC staffers before Amy. But diamond rings keep dicks from wandering. Just ask TJ’s first two ex-wives.
- They took an entire January off from booze! TJ admitted to consuming up to 18 alcoholic drinks a day, two of which were before 10 a.m. He and Amy said they spent $2,869 on alcohol in December 2023 alone. That translates to a LOT of cocktail napkins. Check the wedding registry.
- Amy loves blended families. She wrote a whole book about it while she was cheating on her second husband with TJ.
Speaking of their exes.
A source told Us Weekly in June that the proposal had been “in the works for a while.” According to the insider, Holmes and Robach are also planning to invite their ex-spouses — Marilee Fiebig and Andrew Shue, respectively — to the wedding.
Coincidentally, Fiebig and Shue are now dating each other and reportedly moved in together in February.
That’s nice. I’m sure Fiebig and Shue are very busy that evening delousing the cat. Or weather stripping. Or counting their blessings they aren’t saddled with TJ and Amy’s dysfunction.
Anyway, for those of you who don’t want to follow the blessed couple on their podcast, you can also check out their advice videos!
Yes, they’ve been giving relationship advice.
Here they are dispensing wisdom to a 30-something guy who can’t get a girlfriend.
Hmm. I was expecting: “For better results, try hitting on your coworkers.”
Do any thoughts that I might have that their “engagement” is merely cynical clickbait to pull people into their Podcast merely confirm me to be the bitter bunny some would believe that I am? I don’t know and, to be frank, I care even less.
The two of them should learn to read the room (the reason no-one asked Amy about “the ring” is because nobody cares) and get proper jobs. Though thought of anyone actually following the relationship advice they give makes me shudder.
LFTT
Oh, I don’t think broadcast news jobs are in their future unless they start applying for jobs in Podunk, Iowa. And NOBODY will take both of them in the same backwater area. As far as I can tell it’s possible to make a living from a Podcast, but it’s like running your own business instead of being an employee.
EL,
I suspect that performatively monetising their sad existence via the internet is about the only option that they have left.
Oh well, what a pity, never mind.
LFTT
In true FW fashion, Amy is now sad because no one gives a crap about her “engagement”. What, no party? Will no one send me a blender? Will no one envy the size of my diamond ring, which proves the depths of TJs devotion to ME?!!!!
It’s not as much fun without all the drama, I guess. It’s just real life, which like all narcissistic a-holes, Amy seems to find so boring she can’t sustain it without copious amounts of alcohol and attention.
Better keep a close eye on TJ, Amy. You know what happens when he gets bored.
These two have all the depth of a puddle in a parking lot. They deserve each other.
Their exes are dating each other? Talk about blended families. So now there are exponential ways the kids can be retraumatized.
“Well, they have pledged themselves to a [giant circus tent of impression management] commitment ceremony promising devotion and monogamy!”
This is golden, CL! It’s exactly how I feel about my cheater’s remarriage last weekend. Sickening, how showy these freaks are, when they wouldn’t know monogamy from mahogany.
“Get confident.”
“Attract, don’t chase”
We were so confident about our attractiveness that we got fired from our jobs for having sex at work. Not wanting to let ABC News take away a thing from our confident attractiveness we are here with you know manifesting love. LOOK AT US! Our ex-spouses who did not know and are no longer confident nor attractive are invited to our wedding. WE ARENT’T CHASING! LOOK AT MY RING!
Excellent! You win the internet today!
With my internet winnings i would like to buy the answer to this question. When will the new edition of LACGAL be out? With a few token shekles thrown in (with a bit of lint from my pocket) will there be an updated Stupid Shit Cheaters Say video?
I should make one. That was a hoot, back in Texas. It’s scheduled to come out in September 2026.
It was hilarious seeing innocent regular folks reciting cheaterisms. You could do one every year and it would never get old.
Has Amy Robach ever publicly talked about how James Goldston at ABC News catch-and-killed her story on Virginia Giuffre? Now that would be a public service.
Whether or not Robach tried to break the story, by the fact that she didn’t stand up for the intern that Holmes reportedly perved on, she’s still just another vulture shill who pretends to care which is partly what I think drove Giuffre to her death.
She covered the story in good faith, it was killed by her bosses.
I just HAD to check out Amy’s Instagram account because she looks emaciated in that photo and I wondered what was going on. She recently ran a half marathon, so she has been training a lot. That is part of why she’s too thin. I guess her hobby is running away from her problems and TJ’s hobby is drinking. I’m glad to see that the two cheaters are with each other. They deserve it.