UBT: That’s What You Get for Loving Me
The Universal Bullshit Translator digests the breathtakingly misogynistic oldie by Gordon Lightfoot, “That’s What You Get For Loving Me.”
***
For some reason the Youtube algorithm goblins presented me with Gordon Lightfoot singing a 1967 tune “That’s What You Get For Loving Me.” It’s the most honest presentation of a f*ckwit singing about his f*ckwittedness that I’ve ever heard, and now I cannot get it out of my mind. So I must release it to the Universal Bullshit Translator.
But first some background.
Apparently, Lightfoot wrote it as his first marriage was breaking up from his many infidelities. It’s a taunt to a chumped wife. The narrator rejoices in her pain, tells her she’s nothing special, and that — chef’s kiss! — just as she’s getting over him, he’ll probably hoover.
He positively exults in her heartbreak and blames her for it. Kibbles! Have a listen.
The lyrics
[Verse 1]
That’s what you get for lovin’ me
That’s what you get for lovin’ me
Everything you have is gone
As you can see
That’s what you get for lovin’ me
[Verse 2]
I ain’t the kind to hang around
With any new love that I found
‘Cause movin’ is my stock in trade
I’m movin’ on
I won’t think of you when I’m gone
[Verse 3]
So don’t you shed a tear for me
‘Cause I ain’t the love you thought I’d be
I got a hundred more like you
So don’t be blue
I’ll have a thousand ‘fore I’m through
[Verse 4]
Now there you go, you cried again
Now there you go, you cried again
But then someday when your poor heart
Is on the mend
I just might pass this way again
Thanks for ruining Gordon Lightfoot for me, Tracy.
I know. I’m sorry. He was a Canadian treasure.
He came to regret the song and wouldn’t sing it in later years.
“I was married at the time, and it was a damn poor song to write when you’re married to somebody,” he said.
Gordon Lightfoot
“I learned a lesson from that, because after I sang that song for a while, I asked myself, What am I saying?! Even long after I was divorced and separated and she’d gone her way and I’d gone mine, I would sing this song and think, Geez. How did she ever put up with this?! I stopped singing it.”
Gordon lightfoot
Well, that’s all very fine and good. But as I say a lot here, sorry is as sorry does. Did you give your first wife some song royalties for her suffering and raising your children? According to an interview with his daughter, Ingrid, this is what the first wife got in the divorce settlement.
Gordon’s infidelities and his being on the road also put cracks in his union with Brita. They divorced in 1973, with Brita winning custody of Ingrid and her brother, $4500 in child support, and an additional $150,000 for a new home. During the court proceedings, Gordon had confessed to adultery.
When he died, he had a net worth of about $40 million. And other artists covered the song, adding to his wealth. But b*tch cookie, he stopped singing it and regretted his “chauvinism.”
It’s a good look into the mind of a cheater.
So now, without further ado, we’ll feed it to the UBT.
That’s what you get for lovin’ me
That’s what you get for lovin’ me
Everything you have is gone
As you can see
That’s what you get for loving me
It’s your fault it blew up. That’s what you get. Read the room, IT’S ALL GONE. Why are you still here?
I ain’t the kind to hang around
With any new love that I found
I ain’t the kind to hang around. I’m sorry you misinterpreted marriage vows, a mortgage and two children.
‘Cause movin’ is my stock in trade
I’m movin’ on
I won’t think of you when I’m gone
Are you sad? Crying? I never think of you. Some people might call that sociopathic. I prefer to think I’m a romantic troubadour in the Gentle on My Mind tradition. Just a rascally hobo, who leaves his knapsack on your sofa after a refreshing f*ck, leaves, but will gift you with a thought! Only in this case, no, no thought. The p**sy buffet beckons.
I don’t care about your suffering.
So don’t you shed a tear for me
‘Cause I ain’t the love you thought I’d be
I got a hundred more like you
So don’t be blue
I’ll have a thousand ‘fore I’m through
How dare you expect love from your husband! Your tears are ridiculous. Just as you cling to me kinda sorta caring “don’t be blue” — I’ll twist the knife some more. “I’ll have a thousand more.”
Now there you go, you cried again
Now there you go, you cried again
God, you’re pathetic.
But then someday when your poor heart
Is on the mend
I just might pass this way again
Your suffering (and my centrality) turns me on. I can’t wait to hurt you some more in the not too distant future.
***
Well, that was depressing, Tracy.
Wasn’t it?
But come on, it was 1967. Almost 60 years ago! We’ve come a long way since then! Um… well… okay. Maybe not.
Used spousal appliances are still a thing. That’s what you get for loving a FW.
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There’s also a version by Waylon Jennings, who I think seems like he’s in on the joke. But maybe not. Ugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa3I7wTOO8k
Me too. Ugh. I used to really like Lightfoot. 😳😤
There are a lot of songs out there that sound great, but don’t stand up to scrutiny when you read – really read – the lyrics.
I used to love “run to You” by Bryan Adams, until I found out it was about infidelity. Similarly, I used to love “Always the last to know” by Del Amitri, as I thought that it told my story (I was literally the last know about Ex-Mrs LFTT’s cheating, as the kids found out and then told me) …. but the line in the last verse when the songwriter sings “If he’s cheated on you like I cheated on you” still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
Getting back to CL’s point though, it sounds like Gordon Lightfoot could have been a lot more sensitive about what he wrote. That song wasn’t a confessional that was pleading for forgiveness, it was a “I’m going to rub this in your face” kind of thing … I wonder if there’s a word for that?
LFTT
Oops, sorry Chumplady, I forgot about the censorship gauleiters.👿
Fuckwittery. I can’t listen to, or read, anything that romanticises cheating. Sends my blood pressure sky high.
While we’re going back to the 70’s, try this one from Lobo on for size, reaching number 22 in the US in 1973 —
A cheating FW prattles on about the amazing qualities of his partner to his OW, then begs the OW to alleviate the burden of coming clean:
HOW CAN I TELL HER
She knows when I’m lonesome
She cries when I’m sad
She’s up in the good times
She’s down in the bad
Whenever I am discouraged
She knows just what to do
But girl
She doesn’t know about you
I can tell her my troubles
She makes them all seem right
I can make up excuses
Not to hold her at night
We can talk of tomorrow
I’ll tell her things that I wanna do
But girl
How can I tell her about you?
How can I tell her about you?
Girl, please tell me what to do
Everything seems right whenever I’m with you
So girl, won’t you tell me
How to tell her about you?
How can I tell her I don’t miss her
Whenever I am away?
How can I say it’s you I think of
Every single night and day
But when is it easy
Telling someone we’re through
Oh girl
Help me tell her about you
How can I tell her about you?
Girl, please tell me what to do
Everything seems right whenever I’m with you
So girl, won’t you tell me
How to tell her about you
Haha– retch.
Sounds like they were missing their frontal lobos…..
Barf! I didn’t have time for it but I did think that’s what you get for loving me… rhymes with STDs.
FWIW, I’ve never been married and I stopped dating in my mid-30s. Yet, this song is giving me flashbacks because I got a lot of the victim-blamey “It’s your fault if I hurt your feelings”, too. Whenever some of the guys I dated gave me the silent treatment, whenever they flirted with other women right in front of me, whenever they told me how “hot” other women were (while criticizing my own appearance), it was usually followed by: “You’re too emotional”, “You are loving too much”, “You are too clingy” etc. Sadly, pop culture kept reinforcing that (misogynistic) message, particularly in the 1990s and early 2000, as I remember it. It wasn’t just that one song.
A few months ago, my ex tried to hoover. He sent me a sadz textz: “I haven’t spoken to you because I want to respect your wishes about distance, but that doesn’t mean I want it like this. I still care about you. We should talk.”
I said, “I assume this new-found interest has to do with financial trouble that you are in, and that you must have heard that I have a good career and a house of my own now.” He was furious and sent snide, nasty texts until I blocked him.
Well, yesterday, it occurred to me that my wedding anniversary was last week, and it was the first time it had passed and I had totally forgotten it was my anniversary. I was pleased about that and also slightly curious, so I googled my ex’s name… and found that he is being sued for unpaid debts. I had been 100% right about the motive for his hoovering.
If I went back to loving him, Gordon Lightfoot would be quite a prophet. I’d lose my savings, my house, my career… he would destroy it all in less than a year. Absolutely not!
Yes, knowing that bigger losses were likely ahead helps justify the refusal to reconcile. That was very much my thinking when I took that stand.
My exFW grew up musically playing in country honky tonks. I think he was more influenced by the conduct of starring performers and women fans than the lyrics. He required adoration without much reciprocity.
My ex loved country music, which, of course, is full of this sort of thing. I didn’t like the sound or the topics, and was always more about folk and classical.
And this one is just full of ugly words.
As a Canadian Chump, I am so disappointed in the late F*ckwit Gordon Lightfoot. Dark fact: he also wrote the song “Sundown” about his feeling of jealousy towards one of his affair partners during his marriage, Cathy Smith. You might recall her as the woman who administered the lethal dose of heroin to John Belushi :(. Good ‘ol F*ckwit Gordie paid her bail. She was later deported to Canada where she lived until her death. Gordon never had a bad word to say about her. Birds of a feather…He gives me major moral ick!
Fully agree! When I was younger, I was always puzzled by guys who were showing very little respect for women in general, but (for unclear reasons) adored one particular woman who had glaring moral flaws. I kept wondering: “Why is she ‘better’ than us?” However, as you say, it’s probably all just “birds of a feather…”
Infidelity comes with the gift of new glasses and hearing aids for all the art forms….music, movies, books, art….changed forever with the new perspectives and awareness.
Just two days ago my daughter and I were having a conversation about the very subject of wanting to scream NOOOOOOO! while listening to sappy songs with romanticized lyrics about cheating.
I loved the movie Arthur. After DDay, my enjoyment of it vanished. Susan, I apologize for failing to feel proper outrage about your betrayal. 😪
I’m sorry to hear this about Gordon Lightfoot. His music is part of the soundtrack of when I lived in Chelsea (Michigan)….a happy time in my childhood.
I’m focusing on Artemis ll right now……I am enjoying vicariously escaping from Earth.
This would be a cool Friday challenge: to weed out all the cheater songs we can find 🙂
A lifetime of alimony
Children you will never see
I rejoice in being free
That’s what you get for chumping me
For the win!!!
I confess that I always thought the song was a take-down of the “narrator,” who in my mind came off like a schmuck. It never occurred to me the lyrics were meant to be taken straight!
So disappointed to know these things about Gordon Lightfoot. More disappointed than when I found out what a schmuck John Denver was, because I liked Lightfoot’s music better. Part of the soundtrack of my college years.
I actually used to listen to the Waylon Jennings version of this a lot when I was freshly chumped – I got a good chuckle out of it. It’s a good look into the shallow mind of the cheater.
This post should be required reading for every marriage counselor. Narcissistic entitlement and lack of empathy, straight from the horse’s mouth!
And here’s the Chump’s song to the F*ckwit:
https://youtu.be/6xYrSbZUhzI?si=SNpTJjUchqyxnnZb