Oh Tammy, Tammy, Tammy.
I’d taken a break from commenting over at HuffPo Divorce for a couple weeks. Just general life business and sorting things out on this blog (check out Chump Chat everyone!) But just when I decided to peek back in, Dr. Tammy Nelson is at it again with the most dreadful infidelity advice for chumps. It’s a bit subtler than her other stuff, but the same old, same old of We’re All Guilty Here, and — this was a fresh bit of hell — both parties must “grieve.” Left unsaid is who’s grieving what. Yeah, the chump is going to grieve the marriage. But the cheater? To achieve that New Monogamy Dr. Tammy thinks we’re capable of — they must grieve their affair partner. Hey, we all gotta grieve.
Instead of feeling polarized into the good spouse and the bad spouse, the two of you will begin to realize that you each share responsibility for what happened in your relationship before the affair.
Yeah, let’s not get into a pissing contest of who the Good spouse is and who the Bad spouse is, let’s look at how we BOTH made this happen.
Tammy? If someone goes out and fucks other people while married to you? That makes them the BAD spouse. I know I don’t have a PhD or anything in sexology from a diploma mill in Orlando, but I think I can still play the Sesame Street Game of “One of These Things Is Not Like the Other.”