Hi guys, today’s my birthday, so I thought I’d run last year’s column, which was rather popular — here it is — but then a better alternative appeared in my mailbox yesterday! It was a letter from Crista, who let me know how she’s doing 6 months on. She’s a meh master!
I love the inspiring letters — so when you’re further down the road to meh, hey, drop me a line.
I’m off to find pastries for breakfast — meanwhile, enjoy Crista’s “Message of Hope.”
Hi, Chump Lady.
I wrote to you back in April in a post titled “Why Won’t He Admit It?”
I was in dark place. I thought I could never, would never get to “meh” without some kind of admission, some kind of apology. I thought “meh” just wasn’t going to happen for me. I was WRONG!! I have crossed some magical bridge into the land of Meh and it is exhilarating and empowering. I feel amazing. Here is how I got there.
First, I had to clear my head. I sent my 3 small kids (9,3, and 5 months) to stay with my parents in Ohio for 10 days. I was alone in my house in Florida and I took full advantage of it. I never sat at home. I went out for coffee, went to dinner by myself, to the mall, etc. I met several people along the way who became great friends.
I CLEARED my head. I got some distraction. No washing bottles, no making PB&J, no laundry, no one pulling on my leg or asking me 1000 questions a day. It’s amazing what your mind can do when it has time to be clear.
I also met “someone.” A guy. A very nice guy who is also getting divorced, has 4 kids, and thought I was great. I didn’t think that was possible. If my narcissist didn’t think I was good enough, no one will think I am good enough. And who would want someone with 3 small kids? Well, my new guy did. We dated for a few weeks and he provided much needed distraction too. I felt alive again. And suddenly, I could care less about my jackass cheater. When he came over to get the kids, instead of getting mad or feeling inadequate (am I as pretty as the OW? Is he comparing me to her right now?), I looked right through him. He didn’t affect me at all. No anger, no hate. Just a peacefulness in my heart. I had reached “MEH”!! Talk about a huge weight off of your shoulders.
In the last couple of weeks I ended things with my new guy and I still am at glorious “Meh.” You can be at Meh and not have a boyfriend. I am extremely happy where I am. And I am actually glad that my ex did this to me because now I have a chance at a life I want. I am so hopeful for the future for myself and my kids. I know we are going to be okay. Better than okay and out of the grasp of that controlling narcissist ass.
So all of you who are feeling desperate and lonely and crushed and hopeless — I get it. I was there. But it DOES get better! I promise. Hang in there. Clear your head when you are ready. And get ready for the Glorious Place of “Meh”!!
Thanks, Chump Lady!