What sort of quack gives license to the mope-fest that is the tragic loss of cake? “Oh, if you reconcile, you must show love and understanding to your spouse right now. He’s mourning the loss of Cindy. No more weekend fuckfests at the Motel 8. No more furtive texting on their secret phones. Alas, it’s the end of “working late” together. Listen, it was a real thing, this love predicated on deceiving you. It’s going to be an adjustment as Ray copes with the monotony of your life together. The grim resignation of monogamy… to you. The psychic pain of attending your children’s holiday choral ensembles instead of an evening spent fucking Cindy. This will take some time. You need to be there for him.”
Does this advice work in multiples, I wonder? “No, it’s a very difficult thing to grieve the loss of 17 Thai prostitutes. There are stages of grief.”
Could reconciliation look any less appealing if it requires holding your cheater’s hand through their break up? To do this acknowledges that yes, you ARE the consolation prize. The sucky all-expense-paid trip to Detroit, without the luggage set. Plan Omega. Last choice, embraced with resignation and resentment.
Hey, chump — you better make it worth it. You better dance that “pick me” dance and dance it good. You know, to make up for the appalling injustice of life without cake. Gage your cheater’s mood each day. Do they seem happy? Did you fluff the pillows this morning? Are you eager to have sex with someone who’s imagining it with someone else? No? Well, chumps you need to fake it til you make it! Look, your cheater is HERE. That means SOMETHING doesn’t it?
It generally means they’re pissed off. Sulky. Snippy. Every bit as entitled. Somebody pulled rank! Somebody ALMOST imposed a consequence on them like divorce, can you imagine? Somebody is acting like the boss of them, and they don’t have to kiss your ass and take it.
Fine, you want cooperation? I forgot to do my therapy homework. Oops, I broke your favorite coffee mug. Did I neglect to mention those facebook messages? Can’t a person have some PRIVACY? You’re just punishing!
Okay, I’m sure there are some cheaters out there who get with the program right away and lose their taste for cake immediately and are happy about it. Haven’t heard of many. And to think there are shrinks out there encouraging this entitled nonsense tells me they don’t put much value on fidelity in marriage.
Should Bernie Madoff’s victims be asked to understand that his reduced lifestyle in prison is very hard on him? Perhaps they could bake him some cookies? Of course in this scenario, investors would be encouraged to continue some sort of relationship with the person who defrauded them. Which is ridiculous.
Unless you’re talking about infidelity. In which case, apparently, it’s perfectly acceptable. Encouraged even.