I used to see this “wayward” excuse all the time on infidelity RIC forums, and it came up again in that last UBT piece — the cheater isn’t a vapid, selfish, destructive person. No! They’re a people pleaser.
See, she cheated on you for the noblest of motives — to please another person. He wasn’t a horrid man — the OW needed him.
Unicorns buy this crap.
Eustace was just seeking validation in all the wrong places. You see, his mother never complimented him. She was all, “Tuck in your shirt” and “Wherever you left it” and this crushed his spirit. He longed to be… special. And so began a lifelong quest for kibbles. Eustace learned to flirt, cajole, and charm. People liked him! But deep down, Eustace didn’t like himself. So, when his self-esteem began to flag, he would promise to buy total strangers puppies, or bake them cupcakes, or snow shovel their driveways. People loved him! Of course, these things never materialized. Eustace was a people pleaser. What matters here are Eustace’s intentions. Is there a bereft seven-year-old child awaiting Godot the cocker spaniel? Hey, Eustace was just trying to say something nice. If you actually expected a puppy, that’s on you.
Next, Eustace grows up to be a sex addict because he’s got “poor coping mechanisms” for stress. The stress that comes from people expecting him to keep his word about shit.
Were you married to Eustace? At some point you probably asked yourself, “Hey, I am a ‘people.’ Don’t you wish to please me?”
Silly goose! Chumps are Un-pleasable. Oh Eustace tries and tries, but nothing is ever good enough. This makes him sad. He needs to go fuck someone he met on Craigslist now to escape your judgement.
You’re not pleased? Vicious circle.