Category: Cheaters Decoded

cheater overlap

Do You Think ‘Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater’?

Hi Chump Lady, What do you think about someone cheating when they’re younger in life and actually really not being that personality type, like learning …

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OW walk

Why Does My Cheating-Ex Show Off Around Me?

Hi Chump Lady, My ex, lying, cheating, drug addict, is a fitness trainer at the gym I belong to. I hardly ever see her and …

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crush with happiness

Decoding ‘I Haven’t Been Happy For a Long Time’

The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …

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gaslighting

The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender

There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for …

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word salad

Your Best Word Salad, Please

I created this site not just to offer an alternative to the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, but to lampoon the pomposity of cheaters. And there is …

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Stay friends

Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner

One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the …

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Do Cheaters All Work from the Same Script?

  Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1.) How did …

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mindfuck

So Why the Hell Isn’t She Happy Now?

Hi Chump Lady, So my wife had an affair and after being found out asked for a trial separation. She said she had been “struggling …

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crush with happiness

‘I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time’

The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …

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Beware the Timid Forest Creatures

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

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cheater overlap

“Do Cheaters All Work from the Same Script?”

Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1. How did all …

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Join the International Academy for the Advancement of Chump Studies

This one goes out to the pseudo-therapist-sexologist quacks everywhere and the diploma mills who love them. I’m rerunning my piece on Chump Credentials. Join IAACS now! …

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UBT: ‘Our Marriage Was Already Over’

Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” …

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cheat on me

Why blame the chump?

Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? …

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mask

Nice vs. Kind

There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters …

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I am not defined by my relationship.

Cheater Exceptionalism

“Marn” submitted this delicious nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say: “I live outside the boxes that others live in. I’m not like other people. I …

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Recidivism?

I usually bridle at the reductionist criticism “once a cheater, always a cheater.” We’re not the final word on anyone’s character. While I don’t believe …

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Muffin top

Cheaters Never Trade Up — The Lola Doctrine

While I’m jetting towards Australia, I’m running a guest column today by CN member “Lola Granola.” Enjoy! — Tracy Too often when we are on …

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Mindfuck blender

UBT: “I’m Not a Terrible Person”

Dear Chump Lady, I confronted my husband about his affair just before Christmas. He has been carrying on with a coworker who was also supposed …

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What Married Men Tell Other Women

Hi Chump Lady! I would love you to write about “What married men tell other women, to get them to join them in the affair.” …

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