Category: Cheaters Decoded

Is Every Cheater Mentally Ill?

Dear Chump Lady, I have a question: my soon-to-be-ex is a megalomaniac, socio-psycho-pathic compulsive liar. He lacks empathy and borders on sadism. No, no border. …

Read More
cheater overlap

Do You Think ‘Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater’?

Hi Chump Lady, What do you think about someone cheating when they’re younger in life and actually really not being that personality type, like learning …

Read More
OW walk

Why Does My Cheating-Ex Show Off Around Me?

Hi Chump Lady, My ex, lying, cheating, drug addict, is a fitness trainer at the gym I belong to. I hardly ever see her and …

Read More
crush with happiness

Decoding ‘I Haven’t Been Happy For a Long Time’

The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …

Read More
gaslighting

The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender

There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for …

Read More
word salad

Your Best Word Salad, Please

I created this site not just to offer an alternative to the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, but to lampoon the pomposity of cheaters. And there is …

Read More
Stay friends

Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner

One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the …

Read More

Do Cheaters All Work from the Same Script?

  Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1.) How did …

Read More
mindfuck

So Why the Hell Isn’t She Happy Now?

Hi Chump Lady, So my wife had an affair and after being found out asked for a trial separation. She said she had been “struggling …

Read More
crush with happiness

‘I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time’

The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …

Read More

Beware the Timid Forest Creatures

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

Read More
cheater overlap

“Do Cheaters All Work from the Same Script?”

Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1. How did all …

Read More

Join the International Academy for the Advancement of Chump Studies

This one goes out to the pseudo-therapist-sexologist quacks everywhere and the diploma mills who love them. I’m rerunning my piece on Chump Credentials. Join IAACS now! …

Read More

UBT: ‘Our Marriage Was Already Over’

Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” …

Read More
cheat on me

Why blame the chump?

Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? …

Read More
mask

Nice vs. Kind

There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters …

Read More
I am not defined by my relationship.

Cheater Exceptionalism

“Marn” submitted this delicious nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say: “I live outside the boxes that others live in. I’m not like other people. I …

Read More

Recidivism?

I usually bridle at the reductionist criticism “once a cheater, always a cheater.” We’re not the final word on anyone’s character. While I don’t believe …

Read More
Muffin top

Cheaters Never Trade Up — The Lola Doctrine

While I’m jetting towards Australia, I’m running a guest column today by CN member “Lola Granola.” Enjoy! — Tracy Too often when we are on …

Read More
Mindfuck blender

UBT: “I’m Not a Terrible Person”

Dear Chump Lady, I confronted my husband about his affair just before Christmas. He has been carrying on with a coworker who was also supposed …

Read More
>