I found this obnoxious piece of dreck “17 ‘Other Men’ Explain What It’s Like To Have An Affair With A Married Woman” by Jessica Winters because it was linked to Chump Lady. (Item #4) A clever piece of click bait, it’s simply an aggregate of whinging Other Men found on Reddit and elsewhere. Why “Thought Catalog” thought to include a byline baffles me. Guess it must be that New Journalism I’m too old to understand. (Back in the day, Jessica, we had to write actual stories to get a byline!)
Anywho, the Universal Bullshit Translator thought it would take a crack at the sorrow of Other Men. But only 7 of the 17. (Even the UBT has its limits.)
1. IT’S THE BEST SEX I’VE EVER HAD
“I’m a 30-year-old single male and I have been having an affair with a married woman, aged 32. She said the life went out of her marriage a long time ago but she hasn’t left her husband. I don’t love her but it’s the best sex I’ve ever had. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? I think I’m addicted to it. My friends are settling down but I’m happy with this—is there something wrong with my attitude to love and sex?”
Oh, right, the UBT translation.
I can’t get it up unless I’m fucking another man’s wife. Does that make me a douchebag? No! It was THE BEST SEX I EVER HAD! And that makes everything okay! ThoughtCatalog could run an article about me fucking endangered rhinoceros, but as long as it’s the BEST SEX I EVER HAD, I get a pass!
I had lovely orgasms, and isn’t that what really matters?
2. I FEEL SO ALONE
“I’m the other man. The worst part about it is that I can’t tell anyone. No one knows what’s going on inside. I put on a strong act, though no one can tell the hell I’m going through….I feel so alone…alone as a single solitary star in an otherwise cloudless night, alone yet surrounded by so many people who might as well not be there. The only things that keep me warm are my memories of her and I acting as if we’re together, all the while knowing it wasn’t true.”
I am a single forlorn snowflake, alone on the frozen tundra of desire. No one knows of my suffering. Surrounded by so many other snowflakes, who might as well not be there, such is their ignorance of my sorrow. Woe! Woe! I cry out to the silvery indifferent moon! Why must I be alone? I weep on the permafrost. I hear the baying of the snow weasels and the bickering of eskimos. The only thing that keeps me warm are my memories of Her. Oh no, I’m melting!
3. I KNOW SHE WILL NEVER BE MINE
“I love this woman and she says she loves me deeply, she tells me we are in love. I walk on clouds, she makes me feel great and I her — we speak all day every day via text — at night she calls me from her bedroom with hubby downstairs, we speak for hours — he doesn’t seem to give one fuck about her!!!…I LOVE this woman, she LOVES me (I don’t doubt that she does), but I know that I can NEVER have that happiness we have when we are together full time — I know that she goes to sleep every night next to him and not me. I know she will NEVER be mine — and it fucking kills me. It hurts me so bad.”
We speak all day via text and at night she sleeps with her husband. If we were together full time, I could NEVER have happiness. I LOVE THIS! Knowing that this is the deadest of dead ends makes me WALK ON CLOUDS!
She makes me feel great — and it fucking kills me.
Dispatch with yourself at once and end the suffering.
4. I WROTE A LETTER TO THE HUSBAND
“I don’t know if I did the right thing, but I wrote a letter to the husband. I felt betrayed and lied to. I still believed in her “love” and that she was stuck. I wanted it all out on the table. She had told me that he knew everything about our relationship after he found the letter. Well, what I received was the most painful, hateful letter from her that she does not love me, will never love me, can’t believe that she thought she did, does not have one ounce of respect or love for me, will never forgive me, don’t ever contact her again, I destroyed her family because she “fell into” a life of self-destruction and evil….Oh, and when I sent the letter — the husband called the police on me for stalking….Our relationship went from 100,000 I love you’s, wedding and family planning, to nothing. It’s been no contact for 19 days. I go from missing her to feeling deceived and wanting revenge.”
You knowingly fucked another man’s wife and YOU feel “betrayed and lied to”? You’re lucky that chump didn’t come after you with a threaded pipe and beat all the victimhood out of you.
5. JEALOUSY IS A HORRIBLE CONDITION WHICH EATS AWAY AT MY HEART
“I’m 60 and as the ‘other man’ I have no right whatsoever to expect the woman I’ve loved since 2012 to break the powerful ties that bind her to family. She lives in a lovely home with her husband and believes he would not cope with a break-up, as they have been married for over 30 years. They have two grown-up children and she is racked with guilt….Jealousy is a horrible condition which eats away at my heart. From time to time the most elaborate plans can come unstuck at the last minute. Imagine my sadness after booking a hotel for a weekend break which didn’t materialize….There are no easy answers to surviving a relationship as the ‘other man’ but I believe it is better to have the friendship and companionship of the woman I love rather than not having her in my life at all.”
Imagine my sadness at having a horrible self-inflicted condition that eats away at my heart and causes unfulfilled hotel reservations. I will never get my Starwoods Reward Points now! But better to have the friendship and companionship of a woman who prefers her lovely home and intact finances to me.
6. THIS IS KILLING ME
“I’m in love with her but she won’t leave her husband who she says she doesn’t love anymore. I am ready to leave my gf to be with her. I feel like she wants me and her husband; this is killing me; I just want to be with her more than anything. Why can’t she leave him when she says she is not happy with him and wants to be with me?…I find it hard to stay away from her but I think I need to remove her from my life.”
Question: Why can’t she leave him when she says she is not happy with him and wants to be with me?
Why don’t you leave your girlfriend to be with your Schmoopie? Oh right, you’re using her. Schmoopie is doing the same thing.
7. I’VE NEVER FELT THIS MUCH LOVE FOR ANYTHING BEFORE
“I met her at university, and was instantly attracted to her. We exchanged numbers and subsequently I found out she was married (from her). We’ve still been talking on and off ever since and we’ve connected on such a deep level, emotionally and spiritually. We’ve both fallen in love. However much I’d like to dismiss these feelings for her, I can’t. She’s smart, funny, loving, kind, friendly, generous, artistic and beautiful. I’ve never felt this much love for anything before and I am highly doubtful that I’ve deluded myself….We’ve both confessed our love for one another and I’ve woken up in the middle of the night, dreaming, as well as thinking of her. This isn’t some tryst involving two idiots that haven’t any regard for other people. This is really about two people accidentally falling in love after one has been married.”
The UBT just hates it when that happens! Just the other day the UBT fell head over sockets for a toaster. (But it got burned… you saw that coming.) As much as the UBT sympathizes with your accidental love (stay away from those appliance sales! Remain pure!), yes you are two idiots who have no regard for other people.
You’re an asshole. And the UBT means that insult on a deep, emotional, and spiritual level.