How do I handle this bitch?!
My husband left me last year because he needed “space.” Come to find out he has been seen with one of my “friends” — a mom at the children’s school — for the last two years!
They live in the same apartment complex. I spoke to her husband and they moved in at the same time. How special.
Anyway, they are still denying it, but using the kids to build this relationship. I have three kids and she has three. Our daughters are friends. It’s awful. But, the worst part is how aggressive she is. She walks by me on campus, smirks at me, and even says hello in a snarky voice. Of course I want to bitchslap her, but I don’t want to go to jail.
If I tell my husband, they will probably just rejoice in what is bothering me. I want to tell my children about this woman. They are young 2, 7, 9, but I think the older two are starting to catch on. My husband lets this whore carry my baby around. I know I have no control, but any advice? I have now learned about another full-blown affair he had for one year when my first two were 2 and 4. He’s such a douchebag. I hope they both rot in hell!
My first question is, why is this man still your husband? After a year of space, shouldn’t he have that space occupying a divorce decree? I think he needs all the lebensraum of court-ordered child support on three small kids, plus alimony. Release the fuckwit at once! Let the Other Women have him.
How do I handle this bitch?!
Which one? The married former friend with three kids? Or the fuckbuddy before that? Or the probably half dozen others I bet you don’t know about? How many bitches do you intend to “handle” while your “husband” lives in an apartment contemplating Space?
Do you think he’s pondering quantum physics in his off hours? Quasars? String theory? No, he’s screwing around on you. This cake arrangement works quite nicely. He gets his affair(s), his chump and family, and zero consequences. Oh! And he gets all the misdirection of your being incensed by the OW. Riles the OW up into a nice pick me dance, so she’s all smirky and superior to your face. Which probably has the intended effect of goading YOU into not giving him that divorce. Cake is maintained! And better still, you never mention your fury to him, to deny them both the satisfaction.
HBBB — STEP AWAY FROM THE TRIANGLE.
You know how you deal with aggressive, smirky, snarky OW? I’m going to tell you the OW Kryptonite secret.
Here’s what you do — the next time she crosses your path on campus and wrinkles her nose at you and sneers “Hi Heartbroken!” (subtext: I Fucked Your Husband) — you stand up to your full height, look her square in the eye, and convey in words, stance, or sheer telepathy — “Good luck with that.”
See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya. The secret to these encounters is simply TRUST THAT THEY SUCK. She sucks, he sucks, and you do NOT suck.
And when you really internalize that you do NOT suck, and you do NOT deserve this disrespect and devaluing, then you ACT on it, and you divorce the fuckwit and let OWs one through 57 deal with it.
Seriously, let her have the joy of wondering who he’s having “space” with tonight. The only thing to “handle” here is your own agency.
So many things here are out of your control — your husband’s cheating on you, your children’s friendship with the OW’s kids, the OW’s sneery countenance — embrace the one thing here you DO have control of — YOU.
I know you have a deep investment in this man — three children and years of your life — but is this relationship acceptable to you? A man who cheats on the mother of his children? And walks OUT ON THEM when the youngest is an infant?
If you’re financially dependent on him, start handling not being financially dependent on him. See what a lawyer says about alimony and support. Start training for a new career or go back to your old one.
When you are being a badass — leaving Mr. Toxic, focusing on a new life, being the sane parent to your kids, and OW tries to get over on you? What is there to sneer at? Would you be offended if a circus clown insulted your outfit? If Donald Trump said your haircut was funny? If a dimwitted dwarf wanted the contents of your diaper Genie?
Consider the source! (an OW) Consider what she wants! (him) Walk away! You’re too busy building that new life and raising three kids to trifle with that crazy.
As for what do you tell the children? You tell them you’re divorcing. Because Daddy cheats on you. And you’re all worth too much to tolerate that.