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Leave a cheater, gain a life

All Those Times You Didn’t Cheat

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If you believe the popular commentators on infidelity, unfaithfulness is an affliction that can happen to anyone anywhere anytime. All of our relationships are under the constant assault of sparkly new acquaintances and old Facebook crushes. And the only bulwark against the novel pussy/dick menace is a $399 “affair-proof” your marriage webinar. Affairs, we’re told, […]

The Futility of Confronting Affair Partners

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Here’s a rookie chump mistake — confronting affair partners. Maybe you did this. Maybe you agonized about doing this. Maybe you’re still waiting to come up with the perfect withering remark to deliver along with your poisoned umbrella tip. Let me spare you the trouble — don’t go there. But! But!  I know you want […]

Dear Chump Lady, Is this weird?

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Dear Chump Lady, I’ve recently just attended the baby shower of a fellow chump friend that I met recently. She told me the story of her past chumpdom and she now has a new partner and baby on the way. All lovely, but… in attendance at her baby shower was her first husband’s affair partner. […]

Stupid Requests Cheaters Make?

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Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out after discovering I was a chump extraordinaire. After uprooting our family of four for a new job that required I sacrifice a tenured faculty position at a major university, all while leading a double life, I found out about the OW — also married with a child. […]

Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop comparing myself to the OW?

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Dear Chump Lady, I am five months out from the last Dday. I did not do the pick me dance, I drew boundaries and protected myself by kicking his ass to the curb. The OW was older than me (11 years older than me and X) and had actually helped me with the relationship, until […]

UBT: “People Grow Apart”

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Dear Chump Lady I have a request for the UBT. I’m just over a year out after D-Day and am pretty much no contact with my ex apart from arranging his once-every-3-weeks weekend visit with the kids. I’ve had him and OW blocked on social media since last summer and it’s made a huge difference […]

Dear Chump Lady, I want him to stay with the OW

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Dear Chump Lady, I’m new to reading your column (just found it).  I’ve been divorced 10-years after 14 years of being married. I found out from my then 2-year-old that her daddy was “naughty” because he kissed “girl.” We also had a 10-month old baby at the time.  I knew from the look on his […]

UBT: “Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too”

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There is no sadder sausage than the Other Woman and her unrequited love. An alert chump sent me this submission, YourTango, “Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too“, for the Universal Bullshit Translator. After all this time, I still hope he leaves you. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Except for his pesky wife. We sit across from […]

Dear Chump Lady, He puts the OW phone to say ‘goodnight’ to our child

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Dear Chump Lady, I kicked my husband out two weeks ago after discovering his affair with a woman 20 years older than me. He’s now moved in with her, and within a week they had a bedroom set up for my son and are planning on keeping him several nights each week. My STBX has […]