Anthony Weiner, that irrepressible mongoose, is at it again. In case you missed it, last Friday the disgraced former New York politico and underemployed stay-at-home dad got busted once again for sexting.
Only, unfortunately for him, the object of his fantasies was not a comely young political woman, but a Republican, male catfisher.
And on Friday, a male college student told The Post he “catfished” Weiner on Twitter into thinking he was a female student named “Nikki.”
Weiner imagined “Nikki” wearing “strappy black heels” and “tight clothes” and bragged he was “deceptively strong. Hehe. Like a mongoose,” in a July 27 exchange on Twitter while on a trip in Los Angeles.
Confronted Saturday morning outside his Union Square home, Weiner grew irate and offered up a bizarre conspiracy theory — that he had been framed by Rupert Murdoch, CEO of The Post’s parent company, News Corp.
“It was set up by you guys, obviously,” he told The Post as he clutched a Louis Vuitton bag in one hand and his son in the other. “It was totally busted, as well.”
“Another Murdoch setup!” he railed, as his wife walked stone-faced in sunglasses toward a parked Ford Escape SUV.
Well, yeah, except in the previous weeks, according to reports, he’d come on to a GOP staffer and his previous mistress, Sydney Leathers told the media she was approached by another woman Weiner had been sexting with in May. Boy, that Rupert Murdoch must be awfully busy stirring up shit for Anthony Weiner.
In another lame-ass bout of blameshifting, Weiner also claimed his sexts were just a “playful joust with an obvious catfish.”
Weiner, the only thing that’s obvious is what a total douchebag you are. What’s not obvious is why your wife, Huma, stays with you.
To Huma, I address the rest of my column.
Please leave this guy. PLEASE.
You’re gorgeous, you’re accomplished, you have an actual job — why would you spend one New York second with this loser?
I know he once had potential, the popular, liberal crusader, New York congressman — but his dick cannot not be tamed. So after that disgrace, he runs for mayor of New York, vowing to the the New York Times, you, and the voting public that he’s changed, and he just wants a “second chance.”
How’s that second chance working for you, Huma?
“Carlos Danger” ruined that run, and now he’s been reincarnated as a mongoose. How many jobs has your husband lost thanks to his wandering dick? Do you really need a babysitter that bad?
Look, I understand the pain of breeding with a fuckwit. And many of us at Chump Nation know the personal mortification of being married to a ferret-faced narcissist. I know that on the very off chance you read this, you will flinch with defensiveness. How dare I call him names? We don’t know the REAL Anthony Weiner. The loving father, the sad, broken man who promises to change. Who is working on it, but these are deep, deep problems, and you must stay the course.
Huma, you can’t chump a chump. We see your spackle. We get it here. We’ve lived it.
Fact is, you don’t know the REAL Anthony Weiner. Because if you did, you wouldn’t stay with him.
All this shit he does? Flirting, sexting, handing out his personal cell number to pretty girls on Twitter? That’s HIM. That’s the real him. A guy who doesn’t give two shits about your pain.
Sure, you could GPS his dick and play marriage police for the rest of your life, but why? For HIM?
I know you’re close to Hillary and she stood by her man. Personally, I don’t think that’s worked for her. I think because she’s eaten such an endless buffet of shit sandwiches her whole life that’s why people think she’s inauthentic, untrustworthy, and phony. Of course that’s unfair, and cynically, that’s probably the only way a woman of her generation can get elected. But hey, she has my vote. I’ll take a competent, hyper-responsible chump over a narcissist trainwreck any day.
Still Huma, you can admire Hillary, but not be her. I admire Abraham Lincoln, but I wouldn’t want to be shot in the head.
Call a good divorce lawyer. Save yourself.
Your chumpy friend,
P.S., If Chump Nation would like to send Huma a copy of “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life,” her work address at the Clinton campaign headquarters is:
1 Pierrepont Plz
Brooklyn, NY 11201