It’s probably not fair to pile on about Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, seen pictured here expressing a fleeting moment of regret for raping starlets. But I had to snark when I saw that he’d checked himself into a WHOLE WEEK of sex addiction therapy.
Someone tweeted: “I’ve had periods longer than that.” But come on, it’s a special ranch retreat for a very special sexual predator. I’m sure Weinstein’s having a character transplant, along with the group hugs and kombucha.
Chump Nation, you’ve had some experience going to therapy with disordered fuckwits. Therapy for Harvey is going about as well as can be imagined, says Page Six.
Weinstein was reported to be at an inpatient facility, but our source says he is actually being treated at an intensive outpatient facility, which allows him to spend nights at a hotel. The clinic offers one-on-one counseling and group therapy sessions, among other treatments.
The source told us, “In one group therapy session, Harvey arrived 15 minutes late. Then, when it was his turn to speak, he launched into a speech about how this is all a conspiracy against him.”
The source added that as others at the clinic shared their personal stories, “Harvey fell asleep in his chair. He was only woken up by the ringing of his smuggled mobile phone [which is banned at the facility] . . . Harvey jolted awake, jumped up, immediately took the call and then ran out of the room.”
Arrived late? Check.
Sat on a squishy sofa in a soft-lit room and was thrown soft-ball questions that hinted at scintillas of whiffs of teensy tiny ions of accountability…. and responded that it was All A Conspiracy Against Him? Check.
Was bored senseless by anyone that wasn’t him? Check.
Yep, it sure sounds like healing journey that is therapy with a Cluster B fuckwit! Harvey will go through the motions of impression management (“It wasn’t rape, it was consensual!”), quacks will furrow their brows and cash their checks, and we’ll all tap our heels three times and believe in the magic power of sex addiction therapy! Then we’ll return to the consequence-free world where Harvey Weinstein is king.
Harvey, I just wanted to offer some words of encouragement. I’m sure your relationship is going to be STRONGER with the starlets. You know, after they own their part about how they made you whip out your dick in “business” meetings. You’ll learn some new therapy speak. It wasn’t rape, it was a bad coping mechanism for stress. Maybe make some apology-non-apologies noises. I’m sorry you were hurt by that. In the passive voice. Mistakes were made. And then appeal to us all to have patience with your recovery. Did I bully an intern into blowing me? Hey, relapse is to be expected!
Have a nice week-long reckoning with your soul. (Or the gelatinous ooze that approximates it.) Prosecutors anxiously await your return. Toodles!