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Weinstein Does Outpatient Quackery

It’s probably not fair to pile on about Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, seen pictured here expressing a fleeting moment of regret for raping starlets. But I had to snark when I saw that he’d checked himself into a WHOLE WEEK of sex addiction therapy.

Someone tweeted: “I’ve had periods longer than that.” But come on, it’s a special ranch retreat for a very special sexual predator. I’m sure Weinstein’s having a character transplant, along with the group hugs and kombucha.

Chump Nation, you’ve had some experience going to therapy with disordered fuckwits. Therapy for Harvey is going about as well as can be imagined, says Page Six.

Weinstein was reported to be at an inpatient facility, but our source says he is actually being treated at an intensive outpatient facility, which allows him to spend nights at a hotel. The clinic offers one-on-one counseling and group therapy sessions, among other treatments.

The source told us, “In one group therapy session, Harvey arrived 15 minutes late. Then, when it was his turn to speak, he launched into a speech about how this is all a conspiracy against him.”

The source added that as others at the clinic shared their personal stories, “Harvey fell asleep in his chair. He was only woken up by the ringing of his smuggled mobile phone [which is banned at the facility] . . . Harvey jolted awake, jumped up, immediately took the call and then ran out of the room.”

Arrived late? Check.

Sat on a squishy sofa in a soft-lit room and was thrown soft-ball questions that hinted at scintillas of whiffs of teensy tiny ions of accountability…. and responded that it was All A Conspiracy Against Him? Check.

Was bored senseless by anyone that wasn’t him? Check.

Yep, it sure sounds like healing journey that is therapy with a Cluster B fuckwit! Harvey will go through the motions of impression management (“It wasn’t rape, it was consensual!”), quacks will furrow their brows and cash their checks, and we’ll all tap our heels three times and believe in the magic power of sex addiction therapy! Then we’ll return to the consequence-free world where Harvey Weinstein is king.

Harvey, I just wanted to offer some words of encouragement. I’m sure your relationship is going to be STRONGER with the starlets. You know, after they own their part about how they made you whip out your dick in “business” meetings. You’ll learn some new therapy speak. It wasn’t rape, it was a bad coping mechanism for stress. Maybe make some apology-non-apologies noises. I’m sorry you were hurt by that. In the passive voice. Mistakes were made. And then appeal to us all to have patience with your recovery. Did I bully an intern into blowing me? Hey, relapse is to be expected!

Have a nice week-long reckoning with your soul. (Or the gelatinous ooze that approximates it.) Prosecutors anxiously await your return. Toodles!

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at [email protected]. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • CL – I adore you! As usual your post is spot on! On the news this morning Bill O’Reilly – another scumbag who abused his power. These guys make me throw up.

  • In fairness, TMZ updated its report to say Weinstein renewed his therapy for a *whole month.*

    I’m sure the cure is upon us.

    • In all fairness to The Meadows I think for therapy to work for anyone there must be genuine contrition and the realization that they have a problem. This is pretty difficult with Cluster B disorders. The cheating and sexual promiscuity are just a reflection of deeper issues. Combine that with someone in a position of power (something most of them aspire to) and you have a lethal combination. Unfortunately most of them just do the time to lessen the sentence rather than seek real help…

      • I second that one!! A month would have been wonderful–not like the 3 years it has taken to finally trust again!

          • Geode,
            Thank you for the great idea. My mediation is (supposedly) coming up in December.
            I will add that to the list.

  • The media doesn’t focus much on the fact that much of his harassment was CHEATING, on either his first or second wife.

    I get it: there are laws against sexual harassment and assault. No laws against cheating.

    That’s an interesting question, though. Which would I prefer?

    (A) Having my career stalled or destroyed after being humiliated by Weisnstein and refusing his advances, or

    (B) Being married to him only to be humiliated in finding out that he uses his job to find new women with which to cheat?

    I’ve worked in a *relatively* enlightened and egalitarian industries my entire adult life, so these occasional stories are good reminders to me of how wrong the world still is, and how far we have to go.

    • Good point. He is a cheater and a predator. Not every cheater is a predator, of course, but I bet there is a large subsection of chumps here who were married to lesser versions of Weinstein. Sexual harassment charges, criminal charges.

      It circles back to entitlement. All abuse does.

      • Ugh my ex kept getting sued by his employees and I never got the details yet supported him but he was enraged when my more numerous employees gave me awesome ratings. And if I brought him lunch on a day off he made me wait in the car instead of bring it to his office since he was “so busy”. What a chump I was.

      • My STBX is a criminal. What he did to me is now a jail time FELONY in this state. Too bad it wasn’t when he started it decades ago.

        But no worries, I’ve got two civil suits against him. That’s in addition to the divorce suit.

    • So many times I would hear my sons and husband discuss what they heard on ESPN about a sports star being falsely accused of rape by a woman who was a “gold digger.” I would always tell them, “HE IS MARRIED. HE SHOULDN’T BE CHEATING ON HIS WIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

  • This “effort” it impression management big-, bold-, Hollywood style. It’s a box that needs to be checked on the PR machine- driven transparent list of bullshit. With the money, power and prestige involved, unfortunately we shouldn’t expect anything else.

    • It looks like Hollywood is throwing Weinstein under the bus. I think it’s telling about the power of SPEAKING UP and changing the narrative.

      It took some brave women to tell their stories over and over and over and over. And get shit for it.

      • Hollywood is only throwing Weinstein under the bus because it’s a big enough deal now that they’d look like a-holes for NOT saying anything.

        The sad truth is that TONS of people in that industry knew it was going on, and everyone turned a blind eye. Personally, I think it’s a case of young pretty fame-hungry folks not tattling on the small chance that they could some day join the Hollywood club.

        The REAL heroes in this story are the women we’ve never heard of — the ones STILL waitressing and trying to make it — because they said, “F- you, Weinstein. An acting career isn’t worth selling my soul for.”

        • Ohhellno, OH HELL YES!!! That is so freaking spot on I don’t even know what to say!!!

          • Exactly chumpittychumpchump…. freaking spot on about the women we’ve never heard of…

          • Agreed … it is not terribly brave to come forward AFTER you have become an extremely famous person. Much more brave to put your future dreams on hold while you are a nobody.

        • And some of the, “throwing under the bus” statement are hardly that. Read Matt Damon’s statement?!? I am no Gwyneth “Conscious Uncoupling” Paltrow fan, but I would be piiiiiiiiiiissed were I her. Stating that, ” I knew that they had come to whatever agreement or understanding that they had come to—she had handled it. She was the First Lady of Miramax. And he treated her incredibly respectfully.” So, the fact that Harvey behaved respectfully towards Gwyneth in public somehow negates the fact that he harassed her? (Like the way our Cheaters often called us pet names in public where others could hear it but treated us like crap in private.) And what impression does Damon give to the reader when he says, “they had come to whatever agreement or understanding that they had come to?” Or Streep’s statement? Or Clooney’s? These people are all about covering their own butts, first and foremost. Disgusting. Yet another reason to never listen to Hollywood folk on any subject, except when they are spouting lines written for our escapism and entertainment.

        • Oh hell no: I also know, many feel ashamed. You get victimized and feel bad you couldn’t control it or see it coming. Wanting to be successful acting doesn’t always equate to being ‘fame hungry’, though there is plenty of it.

          I believe it’s shame. What victim wants her life reviewed, judged, and known for this? Big names can handle that, some woman can. Me personally. I couldn’t handle after everything my ex did, having the world google me and judge me.

          I think it’s ok to not say anything. We all have our own path and if trying to forget it happened is one- I’m all for whatever the victims need to do. Wether someone is fame hungry or not, no one derserves to be sexually harassed or assisted in life or on the job. No one.

          And I hope the other a*holes in the world, think better of doing it now.

      • Chump Lady, can you please throw Donna Karan under the Mighty Bus? She recently defended the Hollywood machine by saying how women dress is part of the equation of sexual abuse.

        She sat there with her bare shoulders and kholed eyes and literally blamed other women for instigating their own abuse through immodesty.

        It made me sick – sick to the soul

        • I literally gasped when I heard the words she said. Incredible how this woman would turn on VICTIMS.

          I feel for those who are speaking out – they will be tarnished forever by these types of idiots. If they spoke out early – they weren’t believed. If they speak out now – they are “piling on.”

          I worked in a usually male profession. I was fortunate. The prior lawsuits allowed me to work without (mostly) harassment and certainly no assaults.
          That said, it galls me when I see the shallowness of Hollywood and what passes for role models. Make me worry for the next generation of women.

          • Let’s make sure we raise our children to look to the decent people we actually know, rather than to Hollywood or upper echelons of sports, for their role models.

        • It’s disgusting. And a common reaction to hearing someone has been victimized — They Must’ve Done Something To Make That Happen. Ergo I Am Safe. #yourvulnerabilityterrifiesme #asshole

      • CL

        I used to do criminal defense law. And I’m amazed that good old Harvey is still in country. Why not flee (I mean, “seek treatment”) overseas in a country without an extradition treaty? Like Roman Polanski, another Hollywood hero…

        That may well be Harvey’s next move. And you heard it here first.

        • Weinstein has all the morals of a narc sociopath, so of course he’ll use therapy and his “issues” to advantage. Despite all of this, the man should be sitting in jail, along with O’Reilly.

        • I suspect he won’t flee because if you’re Harvey Weinstein you believe you’re infallible and there will never be any consequences you can’t spin into submission.

        • I’m absolutely astounded he wasn’t on the first plane to Switzerland when this story broke. Of course, he was convinced that his buddies and enablers would cover him the way they’d done for his entire career, so didn’t think he needed to get out of town.

      • Are we being a little harsh with the women that he harassed? I know a lot of them didn’t say anything until they were famous but if you’re a woman over 30, this kinda stuff was pretty common in every walk of life and no one ever spoke about it.

        When I was a teen, I worked at a fast food joint like most of my friends and most of the male managers were major perverts. If I had a nickel for every time one of them grabbed my a$$ or looked down my shirt or asked me to go into the walk in freezer so they could enjoy the results of that I’d never have to work again. I wasn’t the only one and I was only 16 while they were grown men. Well, adults anyway, not really grown.

        I had some harassing experiences in a more professional office setting right out of college too. Back then, you just lived with it or found another job if it made you really uncomfortable. I never came forward because no one ever did. Things are a lot different now then they were back then. Maybe that’s why they didn’t come forward. Plus when you’re younger I think you’re afraid of rocking the boat.

        Just my two cents

        • I agree. Unless it was out and out rape, a chargeable criminal offense of some kind, it wasn’t worth telling anyone in power.

          I also was harassed in the late 80s and 90s in the professional workforce. Nothing criminal, but harassment nonetheless.

          Hell, today (and I’m 54) a short bald creep approached me in the Lowe’s store, looked me up and down, and wanted to know if I needed ‘some cheap $6 trees for my yard.” I said, ‘uh, I just had landscaping done.” And he says, “Oh, you should let me show you these trees. Great deal.” OMG I almost barfed right there.

    • A week of outpatient therapy doesn’t strike me as anything close to big and bold. If he has his balls surgically removed, well, now he’s got my attention.

  • Chump Lady! I finally received your audio book today in the mail! I pre-ordered it months ago from Amazon – but, it seems to take ages for packages to make it from the US to the land down under.

    I love it – buuuuuuut…..I really wish that YOU had voiced/narrated it yourself. That would’ve been awesome!! May I ask; why didn’t you? Don’t get me wrong, Laura Copland did a decent job. But I would have absolutely LOVED to hear your voice instead. The REAL Chump Lady. That would’ve been ✨GOLD ✨

    • I know, to be honest, I don’t think I can listen to it — not because Laura didn’t do a great job. She’s a trained Broadway actress, but because when I write there is a cadence in my head of how the words are supposed to sound.

      I had the option to *audition* to read it. But it would’ve meant taking a week off of work and going to Connecticut for the *chance* — and I’d have to put myself up, and between the modest pay and the time, I had to pass. I didn’t have a week then. Also it all happened very quickly! From signing to recording.

      But all that said, I am VERY grateful Tantor took a chance on us and recorded the book. Audio is where it’s at. In the near future I hope to experiment with some podcasting and video here, so… you’ll be able to hear me. Poor you!

      • Awesome, can’t wait to hear your voice!

        Yeah, I was pretty bummed that it wasn’t your voice. I knew it wasn’t going to be, but I thought the narrator would at least stay true to the feel and sentiment of CL and CN. Unfortunately, Laura Copland sounds like she is reading a novel, not a ‘how to leave a cheater and gain a life’ guide. Did she even do her research prior to recording? Did she read your book?? It doesn’t feel very ‘you’, if I may say so. I’m sorry that Tantor didn’t just get YOU to do it. Would have been so authentic. Never mind. I’ll hang out for the TV series ????????

        (Sorry, I’m not complaining. I’m just bummed for you ☹️)

      • Just want to say, I listened to the whole thing in my car. Even though I’ve read the book(s) and I enjoyed it so much c

    • Gonna chime in to say that reading out loud for extended periods of time is a very specific skill that not many people have. Seriously, it ain’t easy.

  • Chump Lady, don’t feel bad about snarking Weinstein for going to sex addiction therapy: if one stands in the rain, one must expect to get wet.

    What I can’t understand is why a supposedly brilliant producer believes this impression management scheme of “sex addiction” “therapy” (separate quotation marks) is going to work. I bet his lawyer talked him into it. Can we imagine the scene of this meeting?

    • Didn’t Weiner also get therapy for his addition? See how well that worked out for him?

      • Yea these therapy ranches should have statistics on how many of their patients followed up “treatment” in jail.

  • Rah rah, Hollywood for finally dealing with Harvey Weinstein, who has been in the business for over 35 fucking years.

    Never mind the number of women Harvey has raped and harassed. Consider the number of people who have covered up his indiscretions for the sake of the almighty dollar. Other executives and powerful people in the industry (many of whom must have had daughters themselves) were willing to destroy the mental health and the lives of young women to keep those blockbusters rolling out. This problem, like all sexual harassment cases, is bigger than the perpetrator and the victims.

    “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Burke) Plenty of good men and women did NOTHING, and evil flourished.

    Isolated case? No; one in a string, that transcends vocational lines:

    • I remember my photography professor bringing in a nude model for us all to photograph. He would get real close to her nipple to take a picture, and touch her in various places with a pencil. He said as long as he didn’t use his finger he wouldn’t get in trouble. He also asked our class full of women to take photos of ourselves in the nude for one of his assignments. We all felt sick but this type of behavior was so common in the 70’s that no one ever spoke out. I remember taking a photo of my face with no makeup as my “naked picture.” Even remembering that professor now makes me feel a little sick.

      • What a disgusting pig. You can imagine he kept a drawer full of naked photos of his students (smart work taking a picture of yourself without makeup, Lyn).

    • There is a Harvey Weinstein in every profession and every community. I began my professional career 40 years ago, when women could not even sue for sexual harassment. Unfortunately, not much has changed for many working women.

      I personally know a married predator, a deacon in his church, his wife by his side when it matters (but otherwise nowhere to be found), constantly receiving awards for his “good works”, and more than happy to counsel young female professionals looking for ways to advance their careers.

      His “help” requires these young women to meet him after hours at his office (he is such a busy man, don’t ya know), take personal calls from him at all hours of the day…and night, and generally be at his beck and call for whatever he may need, sexually and otherwise. Of course, his counseling always “blossoms” into something more, until he tires of the pursuit, or the young woman wises up to his ways.

      I actually had a mother once call me and ask me if such conduct was normal. I emphatically told her no, and also told her he was not an honorable person. Boy, did I pay for answering that question truthfully!

      His conduct is very well known, but the entire professional community looks the other way. He stays away from me because I’m an emotional”man-hater”. Haha. He has made it clear, though, that I will be the one defending myself if I tell others what I know.

      How do I know about this man’s pattern of behavior? I was one of his first targets all those years ago. He has never ‘forgiven’ me for resisting his advances, so he goes out of his way to disparage my professional abilities whenever the opportunity arises. Naturally, he eagerly told everyone who would listen about X’s betrayal and my divorce.

      Over the years, other women have told me about their experiences, all of which are eerily similar. But to a woman, they are afraid that coming forward will have serious professional consequences for them. Many view what he did to them as their fault, or believe they should be grateful for the opportunities they believe he provided them. Also, like Weinstein, he is viewed as bullet proof and surrounds himself with very powerful friends.

      As a result, he gets away with abhorrent behavior and continues to garner accolades and awards, including many for his involvement in progressive and feminist causes. I keep hoping he will one day get his due (and I will definitely tell the truth if asked). I cannot afford to risk my job to expose him, though, because he is just too powerful (and vengeful).

      The most discouraging part of this narrative is that I am well-respected in my profession, in which I have worked for decades. I am not a newbie, nor am I someone who will back away from conflict. I have spent years supporting woman’s issues, and issues relating to social justice. If someone with my life experience is reluctant to speak up, think about the sheer numbers of women who likewise stay silent for fear of the repercussions which will follow.

      While we worry about whether we will be believed, these predators continue to sexually assault vulnerable young women. I can only hope that Weinstein will be the watershed moment in a much needed dismantling of the corrupting practices within certain industries.

      • You have just articulated the problem beautifully. As long as these creeps have the power to destroy and defame you, or influence others in ways which can cost you your job, they will continue to get away with their deviance. It is hard to blow the whistle, and lose your livelihood. I have put up with many advances and countless innuendos, and have been able to sidestep or outmaneuver these types of men for years. But, you are correct when you say they hold a grudge for the “one that got away.” It’s not just about sex, either. Sometimes they hate you because they know that you know they are not as great, or smart, or capable, or “good” as they like to be perceived. I have worked in schools, including church related schools, as well as in the public sector. These creeps are everywhere. I call them “Snakes in Suits” — a phrase I read once in an excellent article on the subject. They are narcissists, and when you don’t buy into their fantasy they are “injured”, and they are vengeful. “If you want my help, there is a quid pro quo . . . ” .

    • Another ugly b.f.f. (big fat f*cker) like Harvey !

      I don’t like Howard Stern but I had to laugh hearing him say Harvey should be required to wear a burqa-no woman wants to see that man naked.

  • Yeah, we did an intensive weekend with Dr. Weiss (a recovering sex addict himself).

    What did my spouse learn? He shouldn’t feel ashamed of his behavior… shame makes him keep doing it. Great! Have no shame! That’s helpful!

    He also learned a few new terms to blame me – his behavior is because I am an intimacy anorexic. Yeah, I’m not sure how my vomiting the pain he caused makes me an intimacy anorexic, but whatever!

    He was encouraged to recognize the underlying feelings that made him act out sexually, and do things to prevent those feelings, like share them.

    Great, not only was his behavior not shameful, he also gets to blame me for not being able to share his depraved ideas about sex. Hey, you can’t share with your wife that you want to partipate in group sex, she gets angry about that, she must be an intimacy anorexic.

    What did I learn from all of this? The only thing wrong with me was listening to this shit and trying to figure out what I was doing to contribute to it. Sorry, I had no contribution in your choice to stick your wanker in hookers! End of story!

    I burned all the books and notes not too long ago. If I hadn’t I’d have a whole book of perpitrator blame shifting vernacular for you!

    How about this explanation instead

    • Got-a-brain, I’m very sorry you had to live through the extended mindfuckery of sexual addiction treatment with your cheater. I did have to laugh at “intimacy anorexic;” if these jackasses spent half as much time working on self-control as they do devising clever terms to help them blameshift, they’d all be a lot better off.

      • Intimacy Anorexia is the active withholding of emotional, spiritual and sexual intimacy from their spouse or partner. This active withholding impacts the spouse or partner significantly but regardless of pain to self or their spouse/partner they continue.

        Or in the clarifying words of CL… it’s when you realize a turd with sparkles is still a turd, you take off your pick me dancing shoes, set down the shit sandwich and hide the kibbles in your pocket!

        One version places the blame on the victim, the other as a response to being victimized

      • GOT A BRAIN
        just watched the narc video on youtube. Makes me sick.

        I see how common the behaviors are and how my narc DOCTOR (i capitalize his title due to its’ vast importance) was/is almost exactly like the ones described. Not original, not unique. WTF was wrong with me?

        I pray to God our children are not like him, and I’ve got to STOP REELING from this. 35 years of marriage & I feel like a nutty moron who was blind.


        • You are still in the initial stages of grief and anger. What you are feeling is completely normal. And guess what, his being a doctor means exactly jack shit! Sounds like he has the MD God complex and somehow has browbeat you into believing him. He is just another loser, plain and simple.

          I refer to my former husband as X because he has no more power over me. He is just an X. Likewise, I urge you to look for ways to diminish your X’s power/hurt/control over you. Thirty five years of emotional domination is enough.

          As someone who also saw my long term marriage destroyed, the best advice I can give is go back to you, the strong you, the you who doesn’t need that loser. Wasn’t there a time in your life when you looked forward to your life completely unrelated to your marital status? Find that woman and invite her back into your life!

          My kids ranged from early teens to early twenties when the dismantling of what they knew as their perfect family began. They now are in their late teens to late twenties. I cannot tell you how they have blossomed in those years. Again, things are not perfect. We have suffered many losses and yes, even tragedies. My kids have not always made the right decisions and they have suffered the consequences. That is part of life as it should be.

          I promise you though, that if you keep moving forward, if you commit to being the sane, strong parent, you and your children will be so much better off in the big scheme of things. Most of my kids have completed their educations, have found jobs and have found romantic partners. One is engaged to be married. My point is, my kids are alright…and yours will be, too.

          Find someone other than your family to process your feelings of anger and betrayal. Be honest with your kids about what happened,though, and be in it together. Show them and YOURSELF how strong and capable you are. You don’t need a damn doctor because you can take care of your own badass self.

          This is painful stuff and there are still days I worry how I am going to get all my kids educated and on their own. But I am finally me again. I get to decide how I want to spend my time and energy, I am no one’s wife appliance. I get to drink milk from the carton AND control the remote.

          Because you are not yet divorced, you are still in “the belly of the beast”. View your divorce as a cold-blooded business dissolution. Do not allow him to play on your emotions, and get every damn dime you and your kids are entitled to. Once you are on the other side of that process, you will be shocked to realize what a great feeling it is to have the ten ton weight of infidelity off your shoulders. You can do this, we know you can!

          • VIOLET

            thank you. I’m reading your post again. A goal will be to eventually refer to him here as “X” and maybe in public as my kids dad.

            At the moment, they refer to him by name and not “Dad/father”, which makes me sad. But I know it’s not my problem.

            ((( )))

            • DOCTOR’s1stWife&Kids, when I read that you capitalise Doctor because he’s such a self important arsehole, I always laugh out loud. My opinion? You are dealing with this rather well at this stage if you can be snarky and capitalise the arsehole. Give yourself a nice pat on the back, you’ve smart and funny, you’ve got this. Keep laughing at him!!

          • “I get to drink from the carton and control the remote”! Ha, if that doesn’t just about sum it all up I don’t know what does. Brilliant Violet!

    • Oh, and these cheaters are more than happy to latch onto the addiction model when it is benifical for them. STBX was more than happy to have an excuse for his escapades. Now that we are divorcing that narrative has changed. Now it was a symptom of wanting a divorce and being in an unhappy marriage. Sadly there are countless articles that back up the narrative that unhappy men use hookers because of their unsatisfactory marriages! I’ve grown past the impulse to want to leave comments on such articles, yet the idea behind them still greatly pisses me off!

      It’s about feeling entitled to have their every whim catered to, not about their poor victimhood! It’s not bad feelings that make someone a victim, it’s perpitrating a behavior against them. Hey, she failed to feed me kibbles, I’m the victim, I was simply responding to my victimhood by sleeping with hookers because I felt bad! You know my behavior is all her fault, right?

      “Hey, those men wouldn’t have raped those girls if they hadn’t provoked their desire by dressing so provacatively, or wearing their hair like that, or left their homes to walk down the street. Don’t you know it’s the feelings they provoked in me that is the real cause of my choices!” Sadly this mentality is alive and well in our culture!

      • “Sadly there are countless articles that back up the narrative that unhappy men use hookers because of their unsatisfactory marriages!”

        Well, sadly, I think there is no such thing as unhappy men or unsatisfactory marriages. Since in our culture no one is forced to get married, there only men with no imagination, lazy men, boorish men, narcissistic men and entitled pricks.

        Talking about blameshifting!

        • Exactly Clearwaters, it’s not like anyone is forced into marriage or relationships in our culture. That’s exactly what I told the Traitor when we were first dating and he asked me if I’d ever cheated on anyone (red flag?). Why would I cheat? I’m a free agent and if I wasn’t happy in a relationship I would try to fix it or end it, no need to cheat.

    • I had just a few marriage counseling sessions with my ex and they weren’t nearly as bad as yours got-a-brain, but I wouldn’t repeat that experience for all the tea in china. It took my Ex only moments to recruit our therapist, it was astonishing and incredibly dismaying. They love therapy for all the ways they can learn to blame us chumps.

    • One of the things I discovered when I was Super Sleuth, Undercover officer for the Marriage Police, was that I DO NOT WANT anyone with a sexual/porn addiction to “share” anything with me. When I found the porn and the porn site stash, and realized what he really thought of women, I needed to throw up, too. I’ve never been accused of any eating disorder — I just had a hard time holding on to my cookies when I saw the utter depravity that passes for “consensual” sex.

      The odd thing was, I had always considered myself to be open minded to at least considering variations in technique. I had seen some “how-to” books which were tastefully done, and did not include pain or chains, gags, or ropes to achieve sexual variety. For me, part of the problem is with the word “addiction” — it is easy to understand with regard to a physical substance, but the mental contortions that go along with the substance abuse are the actual core of the problem. So someone could become physically addicted to a pain killer, or alcohol, etc — but the mental things that happen are far more dangerous, to me, than the physical things. There are some drugs designed to ease the physical pain of getting off of the substance. But how do you treat the mental processes successfully? I am sure AA and NA and related organizations deal with this all the time, and for some people they have great success. But for someone like Weinstein, or Weiner, or the Cluster B’s I had the misfortune to come into contact with — there is no mental fix, no antidote, no program I know of which works. The hope that there can be a fix for this type of problem is what keeps those programs alive. I really wanted to believe that behavior could be fixed, until I stopped believing entirely. Now — I just want no exposure to it, and I have no belief it will help advanced predators. They don’t feel they have a problem — it is the rest of the world that has the problem!!!

      • “They don’t feel they have a problem — it is the rest of the world that has the problem!!!”

        Yes! That perfectly sums up my life for the past 18 years!

    • Ugh. You should totally tell your story. More people need to be aware of what a total con this shit is. I’m sorry you had to live through that.

      I guess I’m an intimacy bulimic, because that crap makes me puke.

      • One of the biggest problems is the self trained and proclaimed folks calling themselves “Certified Sex Addiction Therapists.” My ex had 4 different ones in a year. None of them suggested psychiatric evaluation, the possibility of a deeper mental disorder, or asked for input from his partners. All of the diagnostic intake was self reported. The models make the partner who’s life has just blown up hopeful for a cure while beating her down with blame sharing. Many therapists still call partners “Co-Addicts”. Polygraphs are normalized and touted as a way to keep the addict honest. The partner is told “you’ll know if he’s acting out again” and is instructed to determine the consequences for various infractions. A wife who’s husband knocked her teeth out would never be told these things.
        But this is a lucrative business. If the therapist can keep the wife on board, then the husband stays in treatment. That combined with couples counseling is the tberapy trifecta they strive for.

        “Sex Addiction” was left out of the latest DSM. Again.

  • Weinstein is doing us all a favor by making a mockery of such therapy. And look how well it worked for Tiger Woods (not). And Weiner. They reinforce the archetype of the unrepentant cheater using therapy solely for image management.

    • The only permanent cure for sex addiction comes in a bottle marked with a skull and crossbones. There are critical periods for normal moral development; Tiger, Weiner, Weinstein, and my X all missed them.

    • I wondered when someone would mention Tiger Woods.

      It is not about sex or an addiction. It is about ego, power and control.

      If he was truly repenentent, he would be in intense therapy finding the root of his behavior, but these people rarely are.

  • After disgust at Weinstein’s and Hollywood’s behavior — My second reaction is surprise and disappointment that the powerful accusers didn’t come forward earlier:- Angelina Jolie – Gwyneth Paltrow – Mira Sorvino – Rosanna Arquette are all strong women with substantial credibility

    I hope all people who experience harassment in any form at any entity continue to have confidence to speak out — and have their claims of poor treatment HEARD!

    • The majority of first-time sexual abuse (I believe) is perpetrated by immediate and extended family members … people from whom you cannot easily separate yourself both physically and emotionally, especially as a child or minor. Heading out into the world having already been sexually betrayed makes the next incident(s) of abuse harder to report as the victim already feels “less than” as a person and thus accepts poor treatment more readily. Just my opinion based on my own life experience.

    • I agree, but sadly the shift away from giving the benifit of the doubt to the more powerful party is moving at a snails pace. That’s why these disorders fucks are sooooo good at impressions, because they know it’s those impression that will cast doubt on any accusations that they could even be considered of such behavior. That’s why when someone’s hidden life is revealed the neighbors say “ but he was such a generous person” or the local grocery store clerk says “he was so charming and knew me by name”

      Impressions are a powerful deterrent for many victims, because they often know they will not be believed. If they do try to speak out it’s often like committing social suicide, because they are the ones who have their character picked apart and scrutinized. Preditors know that image is powerful!

      “We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning. Like rapport-building, charm and the deceptive smile, unsolicited niceness often has a discoverable motive” ~ the gift of fear

      • Got a brain brings up many valuable points. Having been attached to cheaters/liars who occupied influential positions in the entertainment industry as well as other industries and who were masters of impression management, I understand some of the challenges involved in speaking up. I have often spoken up against abuse and often literally paid the price. Victims are often not believed and, even when they are, perpetrators go unpunished. After D-Day #1, I discovered that some fellow ‘rock star wives’ tolerated a huge amount of ugly, inappropriate behavior (adultery, drug use, etc) from husbands. I felt like an outlier for even feeling angry that my husband had cheated on me. (There’s a lot of ‘That’s just how this business is’) I am not sure if these wives felt financially or emotionally dependent on their husbands. Not blaming these wives, but I think that if more spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends of these ‘humans behaving badly’ spoke up, we could reduce the amount of garbage they try to get away with.
        I hope that the Weinstein case will help victims of abuse.

        • The culture of where your spouse works is definitely a factor. My ex was a professor. Always around young women who looked up to and idolized him. He was constantly winning awards. He also seemed to get attached to attractive older women who could help him up the career ladder. Meanwhile, I was always taking care of the kids, trying to work from home, dealing with the house, etc. while waiting patiently for him to come back from long business trips. Even if I’d had the same career interests I couldn’t have worked with him like these women did, because the University didn’t allow married spouses to work in the same department. I used to wish he worked in an all male environment, but that probably wouldn’t have made a difference. *sigh*

      • Everyone says that the STBX is “so nice”. They are surprised to learn of his behavior. Yes, I tell them. He is a nice person. But he is NOT a good person.

  • I was listening to some lawyer on Fox News saying that if these women didn’t run from the room after Weinstein’s proposal it was consensual. Because everyone really wants to watch an old gross guy take a shower in order to keep their job.

  • My cheating ex refused to do any MC – even when I offered to go to his own personal “therapist” who sells himself as a “family therapist”.
    I use apostrophes because Mr. “Family Therapist” has a Bachelor of Commerce degree, is not a psychologist, nor a member of the Psych prof association, nor registered with the practicing board, nor registered with the govt as a medical care provider, nor a member of the Family Therapy Association.
    So I reckon his therapy is probably as good as Harvey’s.
    I still have not come to terms with how/why a “Family Therapist” coached ex on how to depart but never insisted on involving me?!

  • Why has no one brought charges against him yet? Getting molested in prison would be some kind of in-patient therapy for “sex addition”, for sure.

  • Just to add to the depravity of the situation, I wanted to add that I know a guy who did some modeling in New York City in his late teens, early twenties … the sexual harassment situation for guys is not much better than for women. And I believe that the guys have just as much difficulty coming forward and being believed since we are all schooled to believe that all sex is welcome to guys regardless of the circumstances.

    I am glad that Weinstein is finally getting the negative publicity he deserves, but it is sickening to know that the world is full of his kind and not just in Hollywood. My view of humanity is pretty low and I am grateful I can spend a good part of each day with my dogs and cats … far more noble species.

    • Yes, all the shit that happened in the past two years with my cheating wife, has led me to a point where my view of humanity is lower then ever. But hey, it’s fine. I can do this on my own, with my daughters. I don’t need much. We really need a real life Chump Nation somewhere. It’ll be the modern Atlantis version of a society with actual good people. *Sigh* Dreams on.

    • Oh Dixie, I am remembering when I was studying ballet in NYC as a young teen. I wasn’t harassed, but some of my male classmates were harassased by other adult men in power positions. Positions where they could boost one’s career. Getting stuck in an elevator with a creep in action was the longest 1.5 minute of my life and I was a bystander.

      Not much difference in any workplace whether it’s onstage, in a lab, in front of a camera , in an office etc. Unwanted sexual harassment occurs between both genders, between straight, bi and gay people. The formula is someone in a position of power who has influence over a subordinate and that power person abuses their position to assault and manipulate a subordinate.

    • It does get depressing! I’m reminded of a quote from Mark Twain: ” the more I learn about human nature, the more I prefer my dog”

    • Lets not forget 80s child actors (male) who have talked about an un named very well known director who was a sexual predator. I wonder if this is the opening of the can of worms.

  • In general this discussion points to the larger issue of sexual relations in the work place. Yes there should be HR departments and employment contracts that prohibit predatory sexual behavior but too many times if the predator is powerful in his work environment they are allowed to do whatever they want regardless. In my case, my ex was the big boss and his side piece was bottom rung on the work ladder as well as a couple decades his junior. He violated his employment contract and as a SHM of a severely disabled child I had to very quietly negotiate my divorce in order to preserve his job and get a settlement. I would have loved to scream from the rooftops what a pig he was and taken on his entire filthy industry but had to be practical regarding myself and my kids. The whole thing makes me sick to this day and it all took place many years ago. My adult daughter said to me recently that any time a person who signs another’s paycheck has sex with them it is sexual harassment. I agree.

    • I can relate to that, PBS. The Narc was a vice-president in a large corporation while I was a SAHM, so speaking out would have meant him losing his high-paying job. I found evidence of a collection of women, all of them working at the bottom rung, as you say, and pretty much all of them married or engaged.
      He once had one of them working in his private office (closed doors) for a long time. When I complained about it, he told me she had to use a desk in his office because there was no room for her elsewhere. And it was a huge building! A few months later I found a naked picture of her in a motel. His excuse? “And what was I supposed to do? She kept crying because her husband paid no attention to her”.
      BTW, he managed to waste our money on hookers, strippers, ho-workers and bad investments (everything behind my back, of course), so now I have very little to expect when he retires. But I’ve been NC for several years and got my life back. Nothing beats that!

      • PBS and Chumpiest, I can relate as my latest ex-boyfriend is an executive who left me for one of his subordinates at work. Considering that one executive has a child with one of his subordinates and another married and had a child with a subordinate, my now ex-boyfriend probably feels as though his new relationship is starting under auspicious and condoned circumstances. He’ll probably get a pat on the back from colleagues although it seems as though he was conducting an ’emotional affair,’ which he hid from me for months, with his subordinate. To him, I was just practice (an ego stroke, provider of ‘physical comfort,’ and companionship) for someone he considered worthy of his devotion and commitment.

        I hope that I can ‘get over’ this grief and anger at my abusive/lying former partners and me (for letting myself be treated this way) soon so that I can ‘get a life’ (improve the lives of my kids, me, and deserving others). Any suggestions on how to prevent grief and anger from stopping you from
        developing the happy, fulfilling life that you deserve?

        • What worked for me is taking a good long break from romantic relationships. I concentrated and my kids, family and close friends…all safe people for me. My divorce was gut wrenching, long and expensive and required a lot of time and energy. I was barely getting by emotionally and just committed to not attempt to prop myself up with another man. I’m not perfect and made lots of mistakes along the way but staying away from a relationship was a promise I made to myself and my kids as I negotiated my shitstorm. To this day I try to keep a lid on the anger. He took so much from me already that I refuse to give him any more attention including letting ruin my day with a bad mood.

          • PBS,
            Thank you for sharing. It sounds as though you made choices based on wisdom and strength–very admirable. Wish that I hadn’t entered a romantic relationship during my separation. I didn’t really want to date then, but I didn’t want the guy who I thought was my friend of decades and I thought was a great catch to get away. (I had a scarcity and urgency mentalit–as in I thought he was my last chance at a happy relationship with a good partner. Perhaps he was to some extent, but it would be better to be alone in a happy, healthy relationship than be burned in a bad one with someone who neither loves nor respects you) I should have left that fish in the ocean. Would have had only one instead of two relationships to grieve and would have felt better about me.
            Will try to forge ahead to optimize every remaining moment of my life for the benefit deserving others.

      • Sick thing is that side piece lost her job but not the big boss. He married her but that didn’t last long and no kids so I would guess she wasn’t in line for any settlement. She would have been better off in a cash sense suing the company but that ship has sailed. Not that she was a saint but still the workplace is not the appropriate setting for this filthy behavior. Big guys like Weinstein toppling down is a start but power imbalance and a culture rooted in patriarchy and misogyny creates a seriously enliven playing field.

    • PBS

      my 28 y/o daughter was harassed and assaulted by a famous actor/professor in college in LA. The problem for HIM was that he also sent dozens of emails and text messages that were weird and sexual and creepy. What a pig. So there was no denying for him. Oh and yeah, he was 56 and married with kids. Nice.

      My daughter might not have reported him at all, if not for a female professor who came upon her crying.

      The college fired him, (& didn’t bill us for the extra semester she had to attend….)

      Yes I know we could have sued. I wanted to. But the thing is, my daughter was already getting hassled by other students and yes, mostly FEMALES.

      Telling her she “over reacted” or “just didn’t understand that’s how he is”…and “he didn’t mean anything by it.”

      She did not want to be the poster child for sexual harassment and she was in the industry. Bad enough she had to graduate late.

      SHE was blamed for his firing but worse, to me, is how it shook her confidence.

      She began to invalidate every supportive comment ever made to her. Maybe she wasn’t such a talented actress after all. Maybe it was all a ploy to get in her pants.

      Still bugs the shit out of me. And now she writes scripts and never auditions.

      • PS

        I am not sure where the hell my husband was at the time. AWOL of course. Guess I hope he was working.

        How telling. (Slapping my forehead. Christ).

      • I feel for your daughter. Ive been living through this scenario the past few months. It was very scary when men were harassing me. However, I have to concur, its the fleet of women that made it 100% unbearable between the gossiping and the shunning. With the help of some kind people, I was able to change companies. But the rumors followed. It was impossible to function at the new company, though I was super at my job. Now I am looking at changing industries, and possibly moving.

      • I’m so sorry for your daughter’s suffering. Losing your self esteem is tragic. I hope she is able to find hers again.

      • I’m sorry your daughter went through this. And I wonder how many other talented and sensitive young men and women self-selected themselves right out of the business, after an encounter with some Weinsteinesque asshole.

        What a loss for our culture and our arts.

    • I love how he NOW invokes his family and his Catholic faith. Because when someone asks, “What would Jesus do?” it very clearly is NOT “get powerful and put sexual pressure on underlings.”

      • I hate it when these assholes try to suddenly hide behind their religion. His Catholicism wasn’t that important to him when he was having any kind of sex with someone who wasn’t his wife. And if he was taking the farce so far as receiving holy communion while committing mortal sins–he’ll roast in hell. They don’t believe in God any more than they believe in marriage. They are narcissists—they think hey ARE God.

        • Bill O’Reilly is blaming God for his sexual harassment woes.

          I’m sure She’s shaking her head at him, saying, “No, Bill, that’s on you, you entitled piece of shit.”

  • It should be called ‘Entitlement Addiction’, even if sex is one of the outcomes, these types of people take advantage of people at every level. Even in ‘therapy’ Weinstein couldn’t be more bored. Breaking rules and being disrespectful. His entire life and career is on the line and he takes a nap?! Wtf!?

    Because when you are above the rules, it’s all fair game. Having been in Hollywood, had a career there, I’ve met Weinstein. There are so many more I’ve met along the way as abusive and preditorial. You do not stay in that business without having lived with many unwanted advances or ‘business meetings/auditions’that turn out to be some high powered perverts way of getting at you.

    For every one that comes forward, there are 100 that will not. It’s taken me months and months away from Hollywood and my Ex – to see he too was a man taking advantage of anything he could. Maybe not to the degree of Weinstein, but using his fame to take advantage and lie to women. I hope Weinstein gets charged, has real consequences, and never works in Hollywood again.

    • Getting caught changes almost nothing. Look at Roman Polanski. He is a CONVICTED child rapist. Hollywood still LOVES him. They periodically petition to get him back. I literally threw up when one morning on the View Whoopi Goldberg said “It wasn’t like it was RAPE rape.” WTF. If drugging and having non-consensual sex with a 13 year old doesn’t seem bad enough to constitute REAL rape to Hollywood, I can’t imagine what would. Sexual harassment is widespread, but in Hollywood it is a pandemic. I can tell you I don’t want any more morality lectures (on anything) from anyone in that cesspool that can’t identify rape as a problem until it becomes a PR problem for them.

      • I like woody allen’s comments about the shitstorm *barf*. These creeps are disgusting twats.

        • Woody Allen should climb back under his pedophile rock and STFU. What made him think he would be a credible source on this topic?

          (If you think application of pedophile is too harsh, check out the father role he played to the young Soon Yi):

          • Seeing that picture makes me sick to my stomach. I could just cry for that poor little girl. Having a famous, wealthy, educated adoptive mother and father wasn’t enough to save her from a pedophile.

            • One of Mia’s brother was sent to the slammer, ten years for child molestation.

              Breaks my heart how this kind of behavior can be passed down from one generation to the next or just be a branch on the family tree.

  • It amazes and terrifies me that the #MeToo has had the response it has. I had heard the “1 of every 3” people statistic often quoted for people who had been sexually molested/assaulted in some way. I think the response indicates that the statistic is off. Way off.

    The abuse of power — to gain sex or money, or job/position — has been with us since the dawn of time.
    “To the victor goes the spoils ” Is this the type of world we want to live in, raise our children in? If not, what else can we do? I can only hope that the number of people who are now willing to speak out will make an impact on those who choose to abuse. It probably won’t stop them, but maybe it will make them creep back under their protective rocks a bit, and not be so blatant in their nefarious ventures.

  • All cheaters feel entitled to cheat (rich/famous or not). After months my cheater wife finally admitted (or gave in to appease me after I had said it a million times) that she felt entitled to do it and she thought she could get away with it because I trusted her. She refused to admit that she was taking advantage of my morals/ethics.

  • “seen pictured here expressing a fleeting moment of regret” Ohhh CL, this is hysterical.

  • There’s still a social penalty for the women coming forward. women who report abuse are held to an astronomically higher standard of behavior and courage than the abuser. We can all think of the reasons the elite actresses didn’t come forward sooner. Yes they should have in an ideal world. But this is not a case of competing ideals: it’s about power and abuse. And the consequences of overcoming systemic oppression or abuse are always greater for the victims than those who have power over them. The opinion that being coerced by a person with the power to hurt you makes you complicit if you don’t run — she asked for it, it’s her fault, or to borrow a phrase from another famous abuser “she knew what she was signing up for” when she got into the business —shows that victim blaming is still the norm.
    So I’m glad some women are choosing to come forward — it creates social momentum for change but it is still a personal journey.
    And in my personal journey — I was very much afraid of the power my spouse had to hurt me or my kids or take away what mattered in my life. He was in active drug and alcohol addiction so he was a clear and present threat to my children’s safety and I put myself in between at all times. But no one knew it—only me. He was abusive long before I knew of the cheating. And I was afraid of him. I knew he would fight me and fight dirty. I knew the places he could out maneuver me. He was smart, strategic, connected, relentless and a master at image management. I knew that I had no witnesses- no one had seen him treat me poorly- he’s a delightful charming funny polished handsome fellow—who would believe it?
    I had been worn down by fighting the secret battle with a keen adversary— then bam —let’s throw the cheating grenade into the mix and more years of fear and mindfuckery. Then pile on the the farce and actual harm —bumbling or intentional—of sex addiction treatment by “recovered” sex addicts filled with 12 step accountability loopholes and it was head in the blender time. I wish I had known about cluster B so much earlier. You don’t treat cluster B behavior as rooted in shame. They are fucking proud of how they can manipulate the disdainfully ordinary among us, including their therapists -double win! Screw over the wife some more using the professional therapist like a puppet. See how smart, how clever, how deserving I am in all my specialness! See how adroitly I have devastated you—now bow down before my powers!
    Not to mention those recovered SA therapists who are also cluster B— I imagine my stbx and his “therapist” winking and high fiving-
    Keep her hooked on this crazy train and her money keeps lining both our pockets. There’s so much more to say about wreckonciliation—not enough time.

    • Great point. Remember all the bullshit around Brock ‘having some fun’ raping an unconscious classmate behind a dumpster, and sharing pictures of the rape with his bros? That statement came from his father, a married creep who also has a daughter.

      To paint a fabrication that any female deserves to be assaulted because she’s drunk and passed out. AND have the rapist’s father diminish the crime and blameshift it on the victim is Sociopathic.

      …this reminds me of the Orange Menace and his behavior to women.

    • Thank you for making the essential point about the victims. I don’t care how much money or fame they have, the subtle and not-so-subtle narratives that protect sexual predators is prolific. Add this to the basic victim experience of self-doubt, fear of retribution, etc. — and of course it makes sense that so many didn’t come forward. The onus should not be on the victims. Ever.

      When someone online commented that the women “went along with it” and “should have spoken up sooner” … I made the point that I had kept my mouth shut for YEARS about being molested by my stepdad. I was terrified of being ostracized. I was terrified it would hurt my mom. And I had reason to be worried. Once there was an eye-witness to what my step-dad was doing. The man sat there — he didn’t say a thing to help. He also didn’t do anything to help. The witness ignoring it made it FEEL like I was overreacting (inside) to being abused.

      During my silence, of course I acted like nothing was wrong — like he was a “great step-dad” …. otherwise I would have tipped off that something was horribly wrong. I was too terrified of the unknown fallout to do that. So, instead of speaking out, I self-mutilated starting around the age of 10.

      Years later, when the truth came out, my childhood fears proved to be completely warranted. Even though he confessed (because I brought the eyewitness up) … My own mother called me a whore. My entire family fell for his “I’m so sorry” and “I need help” routine. Besides, “he’s such a nice guy” otherwise. “He’s sorry, so it would be mean to ruin his life over this.”

      My point here is that my case seems pretty clear cut — I was being abused as a kid. My molestor confessed. And yet, even my own FAMILY still sided with him. What’s worse is that my situation is not isolated. It is much more the norm than an anomaly.

      THIS is the narrative Weinstein’s victims were up against. It’s one that will protect even child molesters — and victim-blame one’s own family members. With this narrative so prevalent throughout all of society (certainly not just Hollywood), it makes perfect sense why so many of the women refused to speak up. They should not be blamed for their reaction to being abused.

      • JM,

        I empathize with what you went through having been assaulted twice as a minor and having been sexually harassed in three different workplaces, including a school. I was shocked that a woman, my former teacher, defended one of my workplace abusers, saying, ‘We have to think about his career.’ How about MY career and my well-being? Is this the attitude we want to model for our students?! The students picked up on the harassment right away. Kids know more than a lot of people give h credit for.

        • Very sorry you went through that RockStarWife. No kid should have to suffer that — and no adult should have to worry about being “allowed” to make a living free from harassment and abuse.

          I fully agree with you that “kids know more than a lot of people give them credit for” … they may be young, but they are constantly ingesting adult attitudes and behaviors.


  • I recall working in a financial firm in the 70’s where I was the only woman who stuck my head above the secretarial parapet and got a trading license. So, I was the first female broker in that old guard firm, and one of the first females on the stock exchange floor. It was a boys’ club, almost a locker room atmosphere in those days. I was a nice looking young woman with great legs and the usual skirts and heels.

    I focussed on controlling my behaviour so that I made it quite clear that I had a husband, was not a slap-and -tickle girl or a barfly. Despite that….

    Not a day went by that I wasn’t touched, cuddled, and propositioned, offered rides home…drinks after work, and in some cases experienced some pretty persistent come-ons. It was a sport for guys in those days. But they would back off if you stamped your foot at them.

    And some of the worst “harassment” came from other women in the firm, who spread stories that my success “must” have been because I had slept with the right people. Honest, officer, I never once slept my way upward.

    Of I’d known my husband had a mistress all along, perhaps I could have conducted my career a little more to my advantage. So glad I’m about to turn 60 and never get propositioned any more!!

    Nowadays, it is as though the liberal amount of sex on the Internet makes everyone a potential pervert. It is as though there is no longer a boundary that men are taught not to cross, and perhaps women as well.

  • I recall working in a financial firm in the 70’s where I was the only woman who stuck my head above the secretarial parapet and got a trading license. So, I was the first female broker in that old guard firm, and one of the first females on the stock exchange floor. It was a boys’ club, almost a locker room atmosphere in those days. I was a nice looking young woman with great legs and the usual skirts and heels.

    I focussed on controlling my behaviour so that I made it quite clear that I had a husband, was not a slap-and -tickle girl or a barfly. Despite that….

    Not a day went by that I wasn’t touched, cuddled, and propositioned, offered rides home…drinks after work, and in some cases experienced some pretty persistent come-ons. It was a sport for guys in those days. But they would back off if you stamped your foot at them.

    And some of the worst “harassment” came from other women in the firm, who spread stories that my success “must” have been because I had slept with the right people. Honest, officer, I never once slept my way upward.

    OI’d known my husband had a mistress all along, perhaps I could have conducted my career a little more to my advantage. So glad I’m about to turn 60 and never get propositioned any more!!

    Nowadays, it is as though the liberal amount of sex on the Internet makes everyone a potential pervert. It is as though there is no longer a boundary that men are taught not to cross, and perhaps women as well.

  • He must be at The Meadows, but I honestly just lost a LOT of professional respect for them for taking him. Predators need a sexual offenders program, which is much tougher. This guy needs to be at Keystone in Pennsylvania, not so posh and waaaaay tougher rules. Whatever the opinions might be on Chump Nation about sex addiction (which I do think some genuinely suffer from, hurting mostly themselves, and I’m not talking about lying cheating cheaters here), sexual offending and predation is a much different animal and I’m incredibly pissed it’s not being treated as such. Weinstein is a sick fuck (AND a cheater, so glad his wife left him!).

  • Cheaters and predators hate women. Women are toys to play with then throw away. Hell, these jerks probably are more loving and faithful to their dogs.

    • Born Free,

      It’s not so much hate as disrespect. They don’t view women as fully human, but as playthings, things to be used and abused for their own amusement. And most of them don’t have dogs, because for a dog to be well trained and loving, you have to put time in – what predator would make that effort. Women are already ‘trained’, so much easier to abuse.

      Hugs. Strength. Peace.

      • Ha my ex made a big deal to me about wanting to see our dog (more than our kids) and how our dog would miss him but MY dog quickly started growling at him if he came to the door and did not seem to miss him at all. Good dog!

    • Cheaters and predators objectify women (mere sperm receptacles to fulfill my sexual needs). The same can be true for women cheaters (objectifying males- using them to get ego boosts).

      So let’s talk about the Schmoopies (prostitutes included)- Those forced into sex trafficking are exempt).
      Who are these disgusting sluts? Why would they want a “taken man?” Low self esteem? Lack of morals? What? Why would anyone fuck a married man? Schoopies are the flip side of the coin. The skanky hoes who KNOW he’s married.

  • The Harvey W. (not to be confused with the hurricane) therapy story provides us with a nice checklist for entitled behavior:

    1. Late to group therapy.
    2. Breaks the rules and brings his phone.
    3. Blames others for his action (“It’s all a conspiracy…)
    4. Falls asleep because why should he listen to other people.
    5. Takes a [forbidden] call during the session.
    6. Then walks out.

    No amount of therapy can fix an adult who believes he is this “entitled” and acts according to that belief.

  • The good news for Weinstein: fake therapy has a pretty good track record of “curing” fake addiction.

    The bad news: that blobfish rolled in Cat hair will still be a selfish asshole when the “cure” is proclaimed .

    • I’d wager that he’s using whatever time in therapy he isn’t asleep or ranting scoping out the women there and deciding which of them he should invite to his hotel room for some ‘aversion therapy’, as in, ‘I’ll have sex with you to put you off sex for a while to help your process.’

      I felt the same way about Tiger Woods when he went to a clinic for the same ‘issue’. Put a bunch of sex addicts together, and what’s gonna happen? Note that the group is self-selecting for high income, because poor people can’t afford sex addiction therapy. And the woman who can can afford it can also afford plastic surgery, liposuction, etc.

      Seriously, I need some way to purge these thoughts from my head. Yecch.

      Hugs. Strength. Peace.

  • Many Many years ago when I was just out of college, I worked as a sales rep. for a large corporation. I was just 22 years old and I had to travel and stay in hotels. One night, someone was in my room, it was another sales rep., I was shocked and told him to get the F*** out. Another time a store manager decided to come to the hotel I was staying in. . . I didn’t open my door. My next job was a stock broker, that was a lot of fun, being a female in the early 90’s. I was married at 22 to Mr. Attorney Man, he was the love of my life and I took a lot of crap from men in my 20’s and early 30’s and became a stay at home mom to my 4 girls. Now newly divorced, my ex husband was/is the same type of man. Creepy and sad at the same time. These men are so very disappointing.

  • Lived this in miniature. Now that I get how many people it took to look the other way (because money), it’s pretty stunning. So strange and creepy to know that people sat at my table letting me serve them in my home all the time understanding, in more specifics than I ever did, what the STBX was.

    And, yeah. I was only invoked when convenient. Poor Cashmere and her children. Mustn’t go after these harassment accusations too deeply, because it would be difficult for them. Yuppers.

    When I think of all the people harmed by my sociopath, it both gives me pause and strengthens the focus on freedom.

  • Ha ha ha!!!!!! Sex addiction is NOT even real. Patrick Carnes and his nitwit followers made it up. Acting out sexually is the product of a morally deficient person. Cheating, deception, lying, gas lighting and blame shifting are NOT disease symptoms. They are the traits of a selfish narcissist who does not care about anything but him/herself.

    Treatment cannot and will not help these disgusting pigs!

  • How do you cure a voyeur/pervert/porn junkie like Dancing Dick from the great State of Indiana?

    You don’t and you cant!

    For men like Weinstein and Dancing Dick…. Maybe someday a pimp will beat him to death or he will die of HIV. That’s the best we can hope for.

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