A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a subconscious way of blowing up our marriage to improve it. It was physiological, my brain enjoyed the dopamine. I’m assuming from the “my brain enjoyed the dopamine” Deaun is the […]
‘My therapist wants to know how I caused my husband to cheat’
Dear Chump Lady, I just finished reading your book. Your words about using caution when finding the right therapist were life changing for me. I found out after 24 years of marriage that my husband had been having an affair for over a year. In the many counseling sessions I have attended since D-Day, I […]
Where’s the Data on Reconciliation?
Dear Chump Lady, Here is what would have helped move me forward, something that seems more rare than unicorns themselves: unicorn research. I’d expected that relationship experts would have gobs of years-long, scientifically blessed research on topics that really matter when you’re struggling to figure out what to do, right? Because when you go unicorn […]
Worst Infidelity Advice Ever?
Sometimes you need a good example of a bad example. After you’ve been cheated on, a lot of the advice out there is atrocious, like don’t decide anything for six months to a year. If I could wave my magic chump wand and eradicate one bit of post-infidelity stupid that would be it. Do you need 6 […]
Have a Chat with Schmoopie? Just Don’t.
The Universal Bullshit Translator has choked down Lori Gottlieb’s “Dear Therapist” dreck before. But like an undigested glob of upchuck, she’s back. Splat. With advice so awful, I think she’s punking us. I submit to you: “Dear Therapist: My Girlfriend Had an Affair With My Co-worker — I’ve forgiven her, but I can’t forgive him.” A […]
Therapy Fails?
Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out hearts, brains, and courage. You either bring that stuff to the shrink sofa, or you don’t. So today’s Fun (?) Friday Challenge is to share your Therapy Fails. It can […]
UBT: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity
Every crime needs an investigation. Not to worry, Inspector Esther Perel is on the case! And now you can be an amateur sleuth too thanks to this free download on Amazon: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity. Whodunnit? Well, that’s obvious. It’s that cheater sitting next to you. (Gasp!) But is it really? Maybe… maybe… […]
Cheating Wife Needs a ‘Safe Space’
Dear Chump Lady, I got married 3 years ago and recently my wife and I had a baby. My wife and baby are both gorgeous, by the way. But a few weeks ago at a therapy session my wife wanted me to go to with her (she’d been a little depressed lately) — I was […]
UBT the Trust Bank
CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]
UBT: ‘Dear Therapist’
Sometimes I wonder if I made up the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. How could advice be so manifestly stupid and devoid of commonsense? It’s a joke, right? Some kind of cruel performance art? Then in waltzes Lori Gottlieb aka ‘Dear Therapist’ of the Atlantic Monthly. While other bullshit artists are pickling sharks in formaldehyde or suspending […]
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