Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out hearts, brains, and courage. You either bring that stuff to the shrink sofa, or you don’t. So today’s Fun (?) Friday Challenge is to share your Stupid Therapy Shit. It […]
Join the International Academy for the Advancement of Chump Studies
This one goes out to the pseudo-therapist-sexologist quacks everywhere and the diploma mills who love them. I’m rerunning my piece on Chump Credentials. Join IAACS now! It’s about time I fluffed up my resumé. I mean, what’s keeping me from a TED talk and international corporate stardom? Goddamn it, I need an Institute! There, let me […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is pain a choice?
Dear Chump Lady As I try to heal in the most graceful way (suppressing my revenge fantasies) this is what I am struggling with… Like many of you, I buy self-help books, read blogs, watch videos. One of the major shifts for me has been on a spiritual level (not religious – more like healing […]
Why blame the chump?
Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? Can’t they just admit that cheaters are sick fucks? Ugh. I loved my ex-husband and he knew it. I did the whole forgiveness thing and he acted remorseful and ultra […]
Making the Marriage ‘A Good Place to Be’
One piece of advice the Reconciliation Industrial Complex likes to give after D-Day is telling chumps it is their responsibility to make the marriage “a good place to be” after an affair. That way your cake-eating spouse will see what they’re missing. Often this advice is combined with the contradictory advice to be all 180 […]
UBT: Affair Proof Your Marriage
“Affair Proof Your Marriage” articles are so ubiquitous, I hesitate to feed them to the Universal Bullshit Translator. It just rolled its circuits at me. Really? This crap again? Don’t you have some juicy psychobabble from a certified Yoga Imago Sex Therapist I can parse? Are you really going to make me read “keep the home […]
Affairs Improve Marriage?
Last week several of you directed me to this God awful column in the New York Times (a paper that I dearly love, but which seems to have been dropped on its head lately) — “When a Partner Cheats” by Jane Brody. It was the Well column so I thought, huh, maybe they’re going to […]
How Can We Challenge Blameshifting Therapists?
Dear Chump Lady, I find myself truly saddened, perplexed, outraged, confused? Am I going crazy? or is this really the philosophy around infidelity and how can we possibly challenge it when it’s so ingrained? Recently I picked up a book (2015) by people I greatly admire Julie and John Gottman “10 Principles for Doing Effective […]
Esther Perel in the #MeToo Era
I really find it bizarre that cheater apologist Esther Perel is having a moment at exactly the same time as #MeToo. When the zeitgeist on workplace sexual hijinks is “Touch my ass and you’ll pull away with a bloody stump,” we’ve got this barmy Belgian defending sexual entitlement. (Perel, you’ll recall was the deep thinker […]
Weinstein Does Outpatient Quackery
It’s probably not fair to pile on about Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, seen pictured here expressing a fleeting moment of regret for raping starlets. But I had to snark when I saw that he’d checked himself into a WHOLE WEEK of sex addiction therapy. Someone tweeted: “I’ve had periods longer than that.” But come on, […]
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