Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out hearts, brains, and courage. You either bring that stuff to the shrink sofa, or you don’t. So today’s Fun (?) Friday Challenge is to share your Therapy Fails. It can […]
UBT: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity
Every crime needs an investigation. Not to worry, Inspector Esther Perel is on the case! And now you can be an amateur sleuth too thanks to this free download on Amazon: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity. Whodunnit? Well, that’s obvious. It’s that cheater sitting next to you. (Gasp!) But is it really? Maybe… maybe… […]
Cheating Wife Needs a ‘Safe Space’
Dear Chump Lady, I got married 3 years ago and recently my wife and I had a baby. My wife and baby are both gorgeous, by the way. But a few weeks ago at a therapy session my wife wanted me to go to with her (she’d been a little depressed lately) — I was […]
UBT the Trust Bank
CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]
UBT: ‘Dear Therapist’
Sometimes I wonder if I made up the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. How could advice be so manifestly stupid and devoid of commonsense? It’s a joke, right? Some kind of cruel performance art? Then in waltzes Lori Gottlieb aka ‘Dear Therapist’ of the Atlantic Monthly. While other bullshit artists are pickling sharks in formaldehyde or suspending […]
Rethinking the Psychologists Rethinking Monogamy
An alert chump sent me this tidbit in his Apple News feed: “Psychologists Agree: It May Be Time to Rethink Your Monogamous Relationship Research makes it clear that our best intentions are often worthless in the face of a compelling, and possibly unexpected, attraction to another person. The question arises then: Is it time to […]
UBT: Why Happy People Cheat
I’m sure you’re all curious “Why Happy People Cheat.” ChumpPrincess sent me a link from the Good Men Project with that title. The UBT groaned, “Haven’t I regurgitated this bullshit before?” Probably. There are about a bazillion exact titles of Why Happy People Cheat on the interwebs, from the Atlantic Monthly to Psychology Today to Esther […]
UBT: “People sometimes lie or ‘forget’ to keep their promises”
Do you know how many verses of the “UBT Is So Great” song I had to sing to get it to translate Dear Therapist? I need a lie down and a lozenge. Following up from yesterday’s bullshit — When the OW Doesn’t Trust Her Boyfriend — today we’re putting Dear Therapist’s answer through the chipper […]
Beware the Timid Forest Creatures
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
Esther Perel Can Bite Me
I first wrote this take down of Esther Perel’s bullshit in 2014. She’s only gone on to greater fame and word salad, which is striking when you consider we live in a #MeToo moment and Andrea Dworkin is being rediscovered as a prophetess. (I’d like to shamelessly point out I was ahead of this zeitgeist […]
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