Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

UBT: “I just want to help you!”

condescendThe Universal Bullshit Translator just can’t get enough of supercilious, OW twat waffle condescension. It’s like popcorn to the UBT. Popped fresh from Satan’s own blast furnace.

Amazon Chump sent in a doozy:

My ex’s OW sent me the below email when he decided to stay married to me after I filed for divorce. Stupidly I believed him. He started fooling around with her again within a couple of years. I didn’t waste any time the second time around. I divorced his adulterous ass. Now he’s with his skank. I’d love the UBT to work on this:

Your wish is the UBT’s command, Amazon Chump!

My therapist thought it might be helpful for you to have this information.

Harassing you was my therapist’s idea. Really!

I’m not a condescending twat waffle — I’m helpful!

I have really wanted to reach out to you many times in the past, but I just wasn’t sure how and what to say.

The UBT suggests “I’m fucking your husband” is a nice ice breaker.

Let me first say that I apologize for what you have been through and are still going through.

I’m so sorry for that nebulous Thing you are Going Through. Of which I have no pronouns or active verbs. Sometimes Things just engulf us, like sarin gas. Or fall from the sky like anvils. Who knows why? It’s one of God’s little mysteries. I don’t know what you did to piss off God, but I’m sorry for you.

You have a lot of life ahead of you and my sincere wish is that you find a true healthy relationship.

Stay away from my man!

You didn’t have a True, Healthy Relationship with him, like I do! Sneaking around for 11 years, fucking in cheap hotels, waiting for the one glorious day you would divorce his ass he would leave his wife for me.

I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him.

My affair was just part of God’s plan. I trusted in God, waited for years, and got your husband! See what happens if you just trust in God?

Although we have been house-hunting and planning for the future (living together, cruise/trips, one truck, not two, etc.),


Am I gloating? Hey, I’m the picture of modesty. I only have ONE truck. That I share with your husband… to have romantic adventures and house hunt with.

Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.

I keep him on a very short leash. I’d tether him to a bedpost if I could. The way best friends do.

I respect this but my concern is really for you.

I’m concerned you’ll win the turd back.

In order for you to have a healthy relationship you first must have a truthful relationship.

He only lies to you. Never to me! Too bad you can’t have a healthy relationship like I do.

You asked me before for information which I declined to provide, but I believe for you to move forward in the relationship, address the issues, you have to have full disclosure.

Please be the hypotenuse in my triangle! Don’t you want information that only I can give? Can’t you just beg pretty for it, so I can deny you and say it’s for your own good? KIBBLES!

Otherwise you are doomed to continue the life you had which you have acknowledged was unhealthy and unhappy for over 26 years.

DOOMED! If I don’t get some kibbles, shit’s about to get VERY ugly.

I don’t know if you both can overcome the past as sometimes there is too much to get beyond and rebuilding trust is very difficult if it can be done.

But I do know for certain that you will never be able to overcome the past if you don’t address it and in order to do that you need to have full disclosure which Dave will not provide.

You need us.

We’re all about honesty and full disclosure, except for Dave. Who won’t provide you with any details. But you should work harder to trust him. Or you’re doomed.

You also need a third party to help you with this so I hope you will continue with your therapist or a couples therapist.

You’re batshit crazy. I hope you work on that.

I’d rather not go into a lot of details in an Email

I try to avoid anything like legal documentation. I prefer in person mindfuckery.

but am available to meet with you in person in a neutral setting or even in the safety of a counseling session if you are willing to do so. I am not proud of my participation but suffice it to say that for over 11 years of your 26-year marriage, there has been a daily intense emotional and physical relationship between he and I that has included many out of state/in state trips (including M****, camping with the girls, MN, NC, TX, OK, AZ, CO, CA), countless meetings in homes, offices, public places, shared workouts/walks, gift exchanges, thousands of phone calls, Emails, there’s nothing we didn’t discuss and many, many lies and deception to you.

I’m not proud of those 11 years of shared workouts, gift exchanges, phone calls, emails, and surreptitiously fucking your husband. When I was roasting marshmellows with your girls around a campfire, I thought, “Gosh, Amazon Chump should be here to see the precious memories I’m making with her children.”

That daily intense emotional and physical relationship with your husband is something I regret. Daily. 24/7. Yes, I’m free next Wednesday, Dave!

I left off Rhode Island, foot massages, and putt-putt golf.

You may not believe me, but I have always regretted and will live with it until I die how you were made to doubt your own self-worth! You’ve been second guessing yourself and said in an Email that you’ve “been played for a fool”. And I know this because I have been made to feel the same way!

I’m a victim too! ME! In fact, my pain is greater than your pain. The regrets I’m burdened with… they’ll haunt me until the day I die. Just the other day, when I was house shopping — with your husband — I felt a twinge of sorrow. I had to lie down. And fuck your husband. It passed.

I was applauding you for taking charge of your life, seeking counseling, filing for divorce and recognizing the woman you can be!


You have to decide what kind of individual you want a lifetime relationship with and I know you have not always held males in high regard

You’re a hairy-legged, man-hating lezbo, aren’t you? That’s why you can’t keep your husband satisfied. Maybe you should consider dating women, seeing as you hate men. Just a friendly suggestion!

but I hope you know that you don’t have to settle for anything—what you’ve endured is not normal and not what you or any woman deserves.

I am not normal. I settle for side-dish fucks. I don’t deserve better. Let me cloak those difficult thoughts in  heavy spackle and projection.

Of course you could choose to disregard this Email, act as if all of this is in the past and just move on together, but then you will continue to live the same life you have had for 26 years and the odds are great that the same patterns will continue.

I’m not going anywhere, bitch.

Talk with your therapist about this—what do you need to move on and how to move on for you, and/or for you and Dave as a couple.

I saw a therapist when we were ending a 32 year marriage and one of the hardest things I had to get through my head was the idealization of a relationship that just wasn’t.

UBT: Apparently, it never got through your head as you’ve spent 11 years as a side dish fuck. Excuse me, confidante/best friend.

The therapist even got frustrated with me

I’m sure she’s not the only one.

because I kept saying, “well, if we could go back”, “if he would just do this”, “if I would do that”, etc. What I had to learn was that the relationship I had thought we could have was just not possible because that is not who he and I were together. My regret is that F* and I did not end amicably.

It’s shocking that F wasn’t amiable about me screwing other men. I regret his unreasonable animosity.

Should you want to discuss more I will respond to you. Should you not want to discuss further I will not ask again. Either way, I hope you accept this Email as it is intended.

I hope it fucks with your head. I hope you think of me always and forever. When you’re shaving your legs — Twat waffle! When you’re standing in line at the DMV — Twat waffle! When you’re filling your taxes — Twat waffle!

Please accept my desire to be utterly central. Kibbles!

I told you when you visited my office that I was speaking from my caring about you, a fellow human being.

A fellow human being, but a lesser one. I care about man-hating, batshit crazy lezbos. I speak with kindness to all of God’s inferior creatures.

I wish you the best whether you are able to work through the issues and come out as a stronger couple, or if you amicably decide otherwise.

Keep it amiable! I’d hate for you to come after me with a gun.

Take care of yourself,

Fuck off and die.


Satan’s Affectionate Bitch

Shits After Belching

Sweet Ass Bandit

This column ran previously. I’m still somewhere flying over the Pacific.


Every time you support Chump Nation on Patreon, the UBT gets a belly rub.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at Read more about submission guidelines.
  • Oh my god, what a disturbing load of shite! Is she insane? Who the heck does she think she is telling you what’s best for you and predicting your future of you don’t follow her friendly advice!? This OW is a special type of crazy and since it’s an older column I hope by now she’s been swallowed up and choked to death on her own word salad.
    What a twit!

    • It wasn’t a prediction it was a threat. Get out now while the getting’s good because your marriage is going to blow up one way or another. I am going to make sure of that. I won’t rest until your out and I’m in.

  • If I had received this, I would be absolutely sick to my stomach.

    How did AmazonChump react? What has happened to that relationship since this letter was written?

    • See the first grey box above, the OW managed to butt herself back into the relationship after a couple of years and AC divorced the cheater and now OW and cheater are together. OW is batshit.

  • Well …there is a lesson for us all in that little poison pen ….Don’t be a dick . Am I wrong for wanting to shoot her in the face ?
    Just hateful. I am am seriously struggling with just how many genuinely awful shit people there are out there…

    • “Am I wrong for wanting to shoot her in the face ?”

      If you are, then so am I. Let’s go out for lunch and discuss it! LOL

        • I know we are joking, but Tracy could get in serious legal trouble if it sounds as if we are advocating or planning to harm someone. Let’s be careful out there.

    • If wanting to shoot her in the face is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. What a vile, hateful piece of poops this other woman is. I cried as I read this and I hope the recipient immediately saw it for the piece of garbage, written by a garbage person, that it is.

    • “Am I wrong for wanting to shoot her in the face ?”

      Heavens no. I’d probably be headed for the Chair.

  • What a wasted space of air,
    the words of this woman!
    What a wasted space of air,
    this woman.

  • This lizard is crazy. @Amazon, give of a 411 about this crazy woman. This email was supposed to be send before divorce to have more evidence of their bullcrap. CL UBT was on the spot. Sometimes even being low key bothers OW/OM. I think deep down she knows she is in trouble. Advising for honesty & building trust ❓‼️ I would like to see her strategy.

  • Wow, just wow. How cruel could this women be? She is basically rubbing it in to the wife that she screwed her husband for years. She really has a high opinion of herself. I hope karma has chewed her up and spit her out. As for Amazonchump I hope she is doing well and has found piece.

    • Twatwaffle was cheating on her own husband too! With cheater Dave! Sneaking, lying, conniving…What a pair of vile people!And now she has the nerve to condescend to the wife she crapped on, and act as though she has compassion and wisdom to share with this unfortunate, lesser being! I could just puke in a bucket and dump it on her head. Who wants to take advice from a vapid whore?

  • Fuck you, you self-important, condescending, low-class, inferior, detestable cunt and the piece of shit excuse for a man you rode in on.

  • Holy shitballs I couldn’t even get through the whole thing that was such word salad…what the f gives someone that kind of gall…

  • This is why no contact is so important. Never let them access to your life or react to them.

    It is truly miraculous how people can justify their sick behaviors.

    I was told by the OW to work on saving my marriage. Sick fucks they are. My ex was hounding her day and night and SHE was trying to pound him off on ME. She found out how controlling he was. So insane!

  • The “helpful” ow needs a gripe on reality. She was with your ex when he had the kids. Your ex still won’t be honest, neither will mine. I think she sees what she wants to see. I wouldn’t be surprised if she plotted with him to never be honest with you. They deserve each other!

  • Don’t these asses have to justify their behavior? Just the fact that she admits to screwing this woman over for eleven years illustrates what a Sociopath she is.

  • “Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.”

    It’s telling that the word CONSCIENCE is misspelled. It’s all about his consciousness. He was well aware that he was sneaking, lying, cheating and robbing you.

    Thank you UBT, for all you do.

    • This is such a common error nowadays. In a fairly introductory psych class many years ago many students baffled my prof by saying conscience was awareness, being awake. I actually think the word and understanding of conscience- the Jiminy cricket voice of right and wrong- versus concious – being awake and aware of your surroundings- are being blended and lost by people’s utter idiocy. College level kids not knowing the difference and being completely sure that being concious was the same as having and using your conscience… well it goes a long way to explaining why people just do what they want. Maybe there is no conscience anymore and that’s why people are just so abhorrent to each other.

    • She has no idea what compassion is. “Reaching out” to the betrayed wife to inform her that she’s “househunting” with the husband (jab!) and that she went camping with their kids (jab!jab!) is just cruel.What a sick mind.

    • Yep, Hey AC, we’re still in touch and discussing you, and everything that’s in your best interests, like you are a child and we are important, generous people. I am willing to let you have your husband (after all, I did rent him for 11 years of your life) but you need to know some stuff first.

      I can imagine this woman being relentless. Have fun Dave, you’ve got a crazy lady on your hands 47/. She’ll ride you all the way to the grave, I hope you lie awake beside her at night sometimes and think wistfully back to the days when AC just trusted you to be decent and gave you all that freedom.

  • Best translation ever! … I’m a victim too! ME! In fact, my pain is greater than your pain. The regrets I’m burdened with… they’ll haunt me until the day I die. Just the other day, when I was house shopping — with your husband — I felt a twinge of sorrow. I had to lie down. And fuck your husband. It passed.

    Ugh. What a disgusting bitch. No Debbie Chump, you are not wrong from wanting to shoot her in the face anymore than I am for wanting her to catch incurable mouth cancer.

    • It doesn’t matter what this disgusting whore does, she will always be the victim. Why? Because it allows her to avoid responsibility for her own behavior. She’s not a lying, cheating, sociopath, who fucks married men. No, she is an absolute angel, who has been tragically used and misunderstood. Wash, rinse, repeat.

      There is zero reason to engage with this woman because she has nothing to offer, except more word salad. Sounds like she and the cheater X are a match made in hell. Here’s wishing her a lifetime of wondering who her “catch” is fucking now. After all, the cheater’s fuck buddy position is now vacant. Cheat with her, cheat on her.

    • Ok mouth cancer first then when she gets all clear – we shoot her in the face ….It would be a public service to humanity

  • The sickness runs deep. This gives such insight into just how disturbed the OW are to spend years sitting in waiting for the kill, referencing sinscerity and GOD.

    In the end they get the lying cheating prize thinking they are special.

    Recently I found evidence the Limited was seeing his side fuck and going on vacations a cell year or so prior to Dday. It’s what they don’t know. His plume records showed multiple OW while he was sleeping with both of us. And using her car with another OW sitting next to him. That’s the prize they get.

    All those plans they make with the OW are to fulfill their needs to get what they want. He’s in the wash rinse repeat cycle with her in tow. She has no idea about the child porn or the OW he has in Florida. OW are delusional thinking they are special.

    It’s a good pairing. A relationship built on lies.

  • Holyshit, my brain broke down 2/3s through this. It is the same circle which comes down to this.

    She is suffering from board-um and the excitement of fucking a married person is gone. Now that he is with her it is just a simple relationship so she wants to introduce NEW FUCKING DRAMA into it.

    This is typical Narcissism 101, no empathy.

    I would not respond to that damm letter at all. You are just feeding them kibbles if you do.

  • I remember this one, and it still made me laugh as much as the first time!! The UBT is the BEST!!! And Chump Lady, of course.
    I wonder where/what these people are doing now.

  • So glad I got on to Chumplady before I started to engage with OW, before the cat was let out of the bag that she existed that is, and that I didn’t go chasing after who the hell she was.

    On another note, how did the workshop go in Newcastle last week ChumpLady? Did you enjoy visiting down under? Did any of you in chump nation make it?

    • Yes plenty of Aussie chumps and even a US chump came! It was a pleasure to meet Tracy and Mr CL, now they’ve eaten tim tams they are honorary Aussies. It was great to meet other local chumps and talk freely in chumpspeak about spackling, sad sausages, timid forest creatures, cake and the good old UBT. I’m in awe of Tracy’s drive and her compassion for others.

  • If I had received that – and who knows…I might get a letter like that soon – I believe I’d have to take a teacher’s red pen and correct it like a poorly written essay and return it to the fuckturd ex. ????

    • I wish I would get a latter like that. It would make me feel better to know that things aren’t all sunshine and rose in OW land. Not only that, but it would provide proof that she really is the delusional self absorbed bitch that I think she is. I have no doubt she has similar thoughts to those expressed in the attached letter.

    • My Aunts best friend received a letter from the OW pretending to be a lawyer of all things. It was completely riddled with spelling and grammar errors. My Aunt was a high school teacher in an alternative school for 30+ years so she took out her red pen and corrected it, wrote a grade on it and sent it back to OW.

  • I am kind of dying to know what happened here.
    My ex left me for the decade younger other woman. I seriously never got it….she had 3 young kids and her grandmother was paying her bills when she got with my ex. Now he’s paying her bills…..whatever. His alimony check is paying MY bills and I no longer have to deal with him so…..#winning.
    The point is, and I’ve spoken of this on another post, that my father recently passed away very unexpectedly. Because my ex’s mother was still friends on FB with my dad ( only because he didn’t know how to delete her. He was older and mostly posted pics of his dogs so who cares…) my ex mil knew of his passing and told my ex who contacted me to express his condolences and I was gracious but brief.
    The next day I got a text from his mistress who was explaining that she was sorry about my dad and knew how I felt and went into this whole thing that happened to her so she can relate.
    I should of just ignored it, instead I called my ex and explained how inappropriate I thought it was that she had contacted me. All that did was make me look like I wasn’t gracious about someone offering their condolences. My son, who is the smartest guy I know, said to me “mom, this is page one from their fucked up playbook. If you were gracious to her, she thinks everything she did to you is in the past and you guys are good now. If you were awful to her, she gets to tell everyone that she tried to be kind to you and you were a bitch. You are the reason you guys can’t get along.”
    There is no end to their dysfunction.
    No contact…..ignore…..these are the words I now live by.

    • Paintwidow my guess is she feels threatened by you. The whole keep your enemies closer thing.
      What she did was wildly inappropriate. Because that is who she is.
      Your x should be tarred and feathered.
      All of these bastards should. You did nothing wrong. I’m so glad to hear that stupid isn’t hereditary.yoir son sounds like a good kid.

    • Your son is so very smart! That’s the exact truth. I foolishly succumbed to the temptation to email the OW upon her marriage to my EX (six months after we divorced…pretty fast to move from “just friends” to married…especially from another country!).

      She essentially responded with that condescending assholery so typical of her type. Too bad I was bitter. She was tired of being the bigger person, but was trying, since my Ex asked her to be gracious. It really is just too much for me to continue being so angry about their true love…something they had no control over.

      I wanted to puke. I learned my lesson though–she isn’t sorry, he isn’t sorry. They live in a delusion bubble. No contact is the only way. May you have a wonderful, authentic life without their smarmy presence. You deserve it!

  • Is it bad that I actually laughed at this one?
    Sorry, AmazonChump, that was just beyond words.

    • I did too.

      Some people are absolutely amazing in their delusions.

      I’m glad I’m not one anymore.

  • Amazon Chump:

    I have just two words in response to this “helpful” letter: ZERO CONTACT.

  • The underlying message from all of satans little helpers is move on.
    They are all completely terrified.
    I really hate being told what to do,especially by brainless idiots like my x and his gigantic whore.
    Ill do whatever i want to do whenever i want to do it.

    • The OW in Amazon Chump’s case is a sociopathic, narcissistic, sanctimonious, puke-inducing sorry excuse for a human being. I sense that she is only one millimeter away from Bunny Boiler mode. I hope that she is a million physical and emotional miles away from her target and Amazon chump is a million times better now away from that whole dysfunctional pile of dog poop.

      And thanks, Chump Lady, for in your completely appropriate, classy, snarky way of highlighting the outrageous behavior and attitude of the OW.

      • OW was with cheater for 11 years!! A side dish for 11 years? How pathetic and desperate can the OW be? OW is well beyond the bunny boiler point. The only reason cheater is with OW is because he has nowhere else to go. I am sure he wants to go home and OW is making sure Amazon Chump does not take him back. So the karma bus has already hit these two defects. Cheater wants out, OW is desperately hanging on……yeah their relationship was meant to be.

  • Absolute proof that the UBT has a German-designed engine to not fall apart after processing that drivel.

    I wonder what it is like to inhabit the psyches of delusional people? To have a self-image and behavioral justifications that are in no way tethered to reality? Does their “reality” look like the opening to the Teletubbies–all perfect (but fake) flowers and grass and rolling hills? Do they in their heart of hearts believe the nonsense they spout, or do they know that what they are saying is hogwash but convince themselves it is the truth after a sufficient number of tellings?

    • “To have a self-image and behavioral justifications that are in no way tethered to reality” I’ve often wondered the same thing – can it really be that messed up inside their heads?

      In my situation its obvious my soon to be ex actively seeks to manipulate the people in his environment to believe his warped sense of reality. In every situation, in every aspect of his life. I truly believe that he does exactly what you mentioned…convinces himself after sufficient number of tellings. I do think he believes the lies otherwise he would be able to engage in an adult conversation that challenges the details, not just shut it down. Which is what he does when he can’t figure out how to make it all fit together. Shut it down and move onto creating or participating in some other chaos. Never a dual moment when you’re on the crazy train.

      Woot! Woot!

      This behavior is dysfunctional and is killing him from the inside out.

  • Here’s a story: Two married cheaters move in together. Both end up unmarried to their then respective spouses or to each other, but live together for better tax benefits The male cheater starts cheating with another woman still living with the now unmarried female cheater, but doesn’t tell his prey that he is living with another current women. The deceived chump unwitting AP finds out the truth and tells the male cheater to “leave me alone,” He won’t. She tells him again “leave me alone or I will tell your current partner what you have been doing.” He doesn’t. The unwitting AP told the truth-she sends the current partner a certified letter. TWO MORALS FROM THIS STORY-1. IF HE CHEATS WITH YOU, HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU. 2. DON’T EVER ASSUME YOUR AP WILL KEEP SILENT ON YOUR SECRETS.

    • Similar story here as well. My soon to be ex husband had a few side dishes going on at the same time…trying to decide which relationship he “wanted to commit to” *spoiler alert he doesn’t commit to anything but cheating* – his wife of 26 years (me), his long distance lover (met on the internet), his co worker subordinate turned lover or his male “friend” (previous co worker/colleague). I had no idea the depths of his cheating until I took a call from one of the AP’s. I have no doubt their were many more before I learned of this handful.

      Certified letter…it’s all part of the game. The continued triangulation to keep up the chaos. I received emails, concert tickets, theatre event photos, gifts, text messages, recorded voice conversations, etc. from one AP because she was pissed that he “chose” another AP – as if I gave one flying fuck who he “chose” why are all these people being played to beg for the attention of this worthless piece of shit?

      Because his soul is a big empty blackhole. He has to play the game or he has no purpose in life.

  • Everything about this letter makes me LOL Everytime except for one thing — the fact that the cheaters roped the children in to the deceiving of their other parent is 500 times worse to me than the cheating itself. It’s so immoral to me that I would even be glad to see it result in a loss of custodial autonomy, like supervised visitation at a neutral location only, coupled with an increase in child support to cover therapy for the kids.


    • I was so happy to see the last of my ex that Tuesday came really soon after the paperwork was filed and he was out of my house. He is a pathetic waste of skin, a fat balding man in his fifties still trying to prove his manliness by closing the deal with skanks on Craigslist.

      The reason I stay is because my mom roped me into covering up her affairs from my dad, and blames me for having had to have them. He died before we could talk about it, and the guilt still messes with me. Whenever I can, I tell chumps not to stay for the children. I would have been so much better off if I’d stayed with the sane parent that loved me instead of the drunk narcissist.

  • My UBT: “Trust in God, but trust in me as well, for all of the reasons I’m about to lay out. Because, like God, I love you and wants what’s best for you.”

    As an agnostic, I’m oddly impressed (but not at all surprised) by someone who starts by saying “trust in God,” then presumes to take up the work on His/Her behalf.

  • “Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.”

    And that’s the crux of it right there. Dave has been talking about the Chump and making the OW feel nervous, so she’s launching a preemptive Dave-and-I-are-soulmates-bitch-you-need-to-move-on attack at the Chump to ensure she won’t take him back.

    I’d ignore it and block her email, but if I was inclined to reply, I’d go with:

    “Christ, that was long. Did it really have to be that long? ‘Dave’s been talking about you and making me worry, so I want to remind you that he’s mine now, and you better not think of taking him back.’ See? One sentence. Did we really need to go through a passive-aggressive novella of you wishing me Namaste while metaphorically peeing all over the place to mark your property? Don’t worry, SAB, 11 years of lies were enough and I’m not looking for more. If there’s lipstick on his collar it’s not mine. Now stop writing me. You aren’t my friend, Dave’s not my husband, and I’m not interested in having anything to do with either of you. Leave me out of this.”

  • Everything these “people” do is about fear and control. Their fear of losing control. Their outright lies are so sad and pathetic. Its all they know,all they have to work with.
    There is no way to make sense of it. My x has been telling lies concerning his own child. There is no low they wont stoop to.
    And they wonder why people think they are scum.
    They are desperate idiots.

  • These people are just idiots. Totally delusional idiots. I guess you’d sort of have to be to participate in this garbage. I don’t have anything else to say to this, I’m at a loss. Sort of like when my ex was babbling on to me about why she needed to sleep with her married bf all those years. I didn’t even respond, I didn’t even argue. I was just floored by the self-indulgent idiocy. Some of them may be intelligent, but none of them have shown themselves to be smart.

    • They are intelligent in the way a computer is. But they know they are lacking in every other way. Conversing with them is like conversing with an ai robot.
      There is something that is just missing.

      • There’s something missing alright. They seem to all completely lack empathy. There’s usually not a whole lot of self-awareness going on, especially when talking about the failures of others. Accountability is just a rumor to them. And often times, there’s a pretty big deficit in common sense.

        But they sure do make up for these deficiencies with an overwhelming load of entitlement.

        • My ex was always harsh to judge others he perceived as engaging in morally questionable actions (by his definitions) and he hated other people’s entitlement attitudes and refusal to take responsibility for their actions, but when it comes to himself, he simply doesn’t recognize the parallels between his own behavior and that of others that he finds abhorrent. He will not self reflect (beyond what do I want and what’s in it for me) or take responsibility for anything.

          • He sounds like the (now former) Governor of Missouri.

            Cheers! How’s that not taking responsibility workin out for ya?

          • Sounds exactly like my ex. Always judging others, but don’t dare judge him! When confronted with his bad behavior, he will then point out what he perceives to be YOUR bad behavior.

          • I think this is a deflection mechanism for image management. They think that if they make a display about how outraged they are about others’ lack of morals/accountability/integrity/etc., it will convince you that they share your values and keep you from examining them too closely. My XW used to tell me all the time that she would cut off my balls if I cheated on her. She even went as far as to say that a murdered girl in a dateline story on tv deserved it because she cheated on her marine boyfriend. She said this while she was cheating herself.

          • We judge others by their actions, we judge ourselves by our intentions. He never meant for you to find out or get hurt, you see…

  • Dear Shits While Belching,
    He’s been cheating on you for 11 years. Good luck lol.
    Amazon Chump

  • A simultaneous affair partner and cheater lecturing a chump about relationships and truthfulness.

    Sounds like my XW.

    These people are beyond saving. Don’t waste any more brain space on them.

  • What really grates on me here is that this woman thinks she has a more meaningful relationship with the husband than the wife. She is absolutely correct in telling the wife that she doesn’t have the relationship with her husband that she thought she had and that it will never work out. She may be telling the truth, but her motivations are selfish and cruel. She already tried to convince the husband to pick her and when that didn’t work she decided to attack from a different angle by convincing the wife to give up on her husband. It is such an obvious ploy. She had no motivation for sending this letter other than as another strategy to “win the turd” for herself. The translation of “I’m not going anywhere bitch” is spot on. The most disgusting part of all is that she thinks she is special. She thinks the wife just wasn’t right for the husband but she is and that is what makes it all ok. The husband and wife were just a mismatch and I am doing them both a favor by deliberately splitting them up for personal gain. Such arrogance. She isn’t special. She is a disgusting sick person who tears families apart to get what she wants. She is the lowest of the low. I really, really hope that the now ex husband eventually cheats on the Twat Waffle and runs off with some new “soul mate” and everybody laughs at her pain when she realizes she didn’t have the relationship she thought she had.

    • Her motivation is winning. I say let all these bitches “win.” and yes she was being cheated on for 11 years.
      Just like my husband cheated on the ow.
      The only difference is i didn’t know about the ow.
      But she defiantly knew about me.

    • All OW and OM think they have a more ‘meaningful’ relationship with the cheater than the spouse did. This is how delusional they are. I’m sure the slut puppet thinks her platinum pussy is all that….little does she know that I KNOW things she can’t possibly know and cheaterpants makes a fool out of her behind her back as often as he can. I can’t go into detail because who knows….she may find herself here someday. Cheater’s cheat. That’s what they do.

    • She should definitely find Chumplady. And also meet up with some fabulous Houston chumps who can give her the support and advice she needs to capitalize on being in a community property state before her H has to start paying child support to his pregnant OWhore.

      • My point is she is the wife now but she admits to having cheated in the past. I don’t know if she was the OW and ‘won’ her current husband that way; cheated on a boyfriend, or what. That is why I’m torn.

        I do want pregnant OWhore to suffer. I don’t want the baby to suffer.

        Summing it up with: Cheaters SUCK.

        • Ah, I missed that. If she was the OW and is now getting a taste of her own medicine, too bad, so sad.

  • At least I know these dipwads won’t be moving to Texas…because they only have one truck. It’s a state law that every household must own at least 3 trucks.

  • Block.

    But I know, it’s too late, this one already got into your head. It will take some time to process this shit and it will haunt for a long time. Just make sure to block them both every which way possible so that you don’t have to receive any of these again.


  • Never take candy from strangers… and never take marital advice from a delusional 11 year side fuck.

    (Maybe I should send the UBT the email I got from the OW after she broke-up with my X because she discovered he was cheating on her… she apologized for the “stress” she may have caused me… apparently in the English to Fuckwit dictionary “stress” = “blow up your family and destroy your son’s childhood”… who knew?!)

  • Don’t worry ‘honey-britches’ the moment things get hard, and Dave needs to start adulting, you’ll see what it’s like and have your own “unhealthy relationship” to deal with. Good thing you’re an expert — you can just re-read your letter and know exactly what to do to avoid a “doomed” life.

  • Two very sick people. She is just what a socio path needs – an enabler to help support and ‘splain his feelings.

    Amazon Chump will be best far far away so these two can just continue their path down to hell on a jet elevator.

    Hugs and kuddos to AmazonChump for sharing. Wow, what a cluster.

  • Ah, geez. Thank you for sharing Amazon chump, and thank you CL for the UBT!

    I got a short “apology” of sorts from his OW.

    “I’m sorry I had an affair with (your husband)”
    UBT: “I’m sorry you found out about it”

    “I truly believed my self-serving behavior was in your best interest”
    UBT: “I had anal sex with him! And I swallowed! I’m a sex goddess!! And you aren’t!”

    Among other things. Whatever. He may have given me HPV vaginally, but she has been exposed to it in every orifice of her body. Schadenfreude at its best.

    • Evil SIL told ME there were online dating sites for people with STD’S. Much later I found out she had cheated on her husband, picked up herpes & gave it to him. So therefore I deserved it when her brother lied and gave me an STD, I guess. Now she’s a religious zealot. Still married. I guess he felt like ruined goods so stuck around.

  • Dearest SAB,

    How kind of you to want to help me. Might I suggest that the help I need the most would be you and cheater husband both taking out a million $ life insurance policy, naming me and my children as the beneficiaries? Then you and MY husband can both drop dead.

    Had enough, he’s your problem now!

  • Just think…..this is what ALL OW and OM really believe. Their own horse shit. I couldn’t even get through the entire letter. I don’t know how you didn’t take it and shove it up her arse Amazon Chump. Delusional twats, all of them. Gawd, I hate cheaters.

  • Now see, I would deviate from my no contact rule, putit throigh the UBT and send it back to her with the translation. I way could I not.

    When I was divorcing my 1st husband, He brought some woman with him to our sons junior high football game. I was sitting with a bunch of people from our town when he approached with her. My friend Kathy said, out loud, “Well, isnt THIS uncomfortable?” Which made me laugh.

    This SAME woman, the one with the STBX, send me a 7 page, front and back, handwritten letter, telling me HOW MUCH my STBX wants sto stay married, how I needed to forgive him, how God gates divorce, blah blah blah. I don’t remember if Iactually answered it or not, but I SO WISH I had saved it, just for the sake of putting it through the UBT.

    • Length of her letter is directly related to the guilt she feels. (and if she wants absolution, she should find a priest.)

      • Guilt? No way. These narcissistic assholes have no guilt or remorse for their behavior! They enjoy the narcissistic supply they get from any response they might be able to elicit. Hence, no-contact becomes even more important. Not responding makes them bat shit crazier than they already are.

    • My husband’s AP at the time told me that I ‘should fight for him [my husband].’ I guess that she wanted to engage in gladiatorial combat. I would have gladly let her win without bloodshed, but then how exciting would her life be? (I heard that they split up a few weeks later, sick of each other.)

  • Twatwaffle’s reasons are obvious: she is afraid of losing the pick me dance and that Dave will return to Amazon Chump. So she’s decided to let Amazon know “the truth” about their affair, hoping that *Amazon* will Mighty Up and leave his ass.

    Oh, the irony. “I want to win the sparkly turd, so I have to tell it’s wife what a terrible, terrible person it is. That I want to win. Because I MUST BE A WINNER. Even if it’s just of a sparkly turd.” wtf?!

    “I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him.” This made me $hit my nice Christian lady panties. The gall of this bitch.

  • Take comfort in the fact he has got himself a wack job. What goes around comes around. Try to erase these two from your thoughts. Be happy and thank god your done with this very little of a man with a sociopath woman. They will both get whats coming to them with no help from yourself.

  • This is my imaginary response.
    Thank you soo much for your concern. I have been trying to divorce him for ten years because of his hooker and porn habit. He always breaks down and begs me to stay for the kids, the family and all we have built. Now that I know it’s more than just many hookers, I can divorce with a clear conscience. Please, know that I never want to reconcile, no matter what he says. He is just terrified of being without me.

  • After reading this, I feel like a scalding shower and a 5th of Jack before I’ll feel better. WOW this woman’s EGO!

  • I despise this OW with the brilliant, intense, and blazing heat of a white-hot sun.

    I was just going to leave that there, but what a pitiful, narcissistic, empty-life loser to have an affair for over a decade that included her lover’s kids for camping. And then to write an email intended to hurt and humiliate this cheater’s wife. The only person worse than this OW is the hollowed-out, morally bankrupt, lying, manipulative triangulating abusive weasel she’s pick-me dancing for.

  • It never ceases to amaze me just how cruel women can be to each other. I will never wrap my head around why a woman would have an affair with a taken man and vice versa. Never. At what point does one lose their morals?

    This bitch is bitter and wants to stir the pot because….she is a callous, deceitful bitch. She needs more attention and hopes to achieve it in a spiteful, narcissistic “let me hurt all of you more” way.

    I’d forward that email around.

    • I agree Portia. I would forward it as well, to all their friends and family. And post it everywhere. That is so callous!

  • Wow…..on many fronts…two women who both still wanted him after he cheated on both of them for eleven YEARS???? On second thought, wow doesn’t even begin to cover it…

  • This is Amazon Chump and I’m informing you all that 3 years and 3 months later I have reached the land of meh. Yay!! But I couldn’t have done it without all of your support. In fact, the ex-dick just married his ho-worker this last January and though my son was really concerned for me (he was worried that I’d fall apart when I heard the news), I could only think, “NOW he gets what he wanted and she gets what she coveted.” That may not exactly be “meh” as in a way I’m now going to see karma play out instead of just thinking “meh”, but I didn’t fall apart. I’m okay! It didn’t hurt at all. And I wake up everyday astounded at the feeling of peace in my life. No more condescension, no more lying, no more cheating, no more feelings that I wasn’t good enough, that I made a unilateral decision, that I took an unnecessary risk. Those last two items, a unilateral decision and unnecessary risk, were repeatedly used by the dick. It took me a year after the divorce before it dawned on me that the dick made a unilateral decision to screw his ho-worker, and he regularly took unnecessary risks potentially exposing me to STDs. It really did take me three full years to figure it all out and the conclusion is one Tracy touted from the beginning, “Trust that they suck.” I can almost pity him, but he made his own unilateral decision and now he can live with it. Or won’t. I guess it’s just a matter of time. I even went through the stupid thought, “Now he’ll be happy.” And I once again had to smack myself and say, “He’s the same man you were married to for 30 years. He’s a dick!” And now he’s her problem, and vice versa. Thank you again, Chump Nation!

    • Yay for meh land!!!

      My husband is baffled that I won’t invite his mistress to Thanksgiving dinner. Like for real. And he’s so sad that I refuse to meet her and wouldn’t it be perfect if we could just all have family vacations together!? (Of course, they’d share the bed and I’d be in the other hotel room with the kids. Of course.)

  • Oh, I forgot to mention that the ho-worker was a social worker at the local university and she provided family counseling. You just never know…

  • I thought I posted already! I’m doing great but it’s due to some mighty great folks, and Chump Nation, you were the best of all! My ex-dick married his ho-worker this last January and it didn’t bother me. In fact, what went through my head was, “NOW he gets exactly what he wanted and she gets exactly what she coveted.” I’ve pretty much reached the land of meh. Yay for me! I’m at peace. I’m no longer being treated with condescension, being lied to, being cheated on, being told that I made a unilateral decision, being told I took an unnecessary risk. It took me a year after my divorce before I realized that the dick made a unilateral decision having a skank in the background and that he took unnecessary risks by potentially exposing me to STDs. I was REALLY messed up. But now I’m great! Like Tracy says, “Trust that they suck!” And now, karma begins. He’s her problem now. Someday I might see her posted wearing an orange jumpsuit and he may be bobbetized. I think she’s that crazy.

    • Did you ever reply to that nauseating piece of crap the cunt wrote ?

      *So* glad it’s all over for you, and you’re in the land of meh.

      Bet she’s constantly looking over her shoulder now, and wondering who the sidedish fuck is ! 🙂

  • sounds to me like the ow is an insecure little twit who had get in all the sly little jabs to make herself feel better.

  • Kind of late to the party, but Golden D##k’s OW (in his case it stands for Other Wife, as they “married” each other in a ceremony with vows and rings while I was out of town years ago) sent me LOTS of messages when he “divorced” her via text message after he confessed to their 10+ year affair last November. She was pure evil as reflected in the 100 or so texts she sent to me. No UBT needed there. But she COULD have used spell-check LOL. She stalked me, harassed me, called me from any phone she could get her paws on, drove past the house, etc. All of her scorned-woman fury was directed to me. I had to threaten to call the police before she backed off. I think I would have preferred this ‘helpful’ communication vs the sheer crazy, rabid, obscene crap that she sent. But it still would have sucked tremendously hard to get this email. I am so sorry for what Amazon Chump went through, and so happy to hear that she is at Meh. One day I will be there too, I hope.

  • >