As I approach the one-year anniversary of D-day (September 26) I am taking time to reflect on what I did right and where I am.
I’m proud that while I didn’t find LACGAL and CN until later, I didn’t make too many mistakes. I did dump him as soon as I found out. Within a minute of him not answering my text “Who is [Schmoopie] Name?” I told him to move his stuff out of my house.
We were “only” engaged, together almost 4 years, and as we are in our 50s we didn’t have kids together and no shared money. So it was an easy disentangling. No lawyers or custody issues. Not that it was easy. I spent many sleepless nights. I even ran a half-marathon shortly after D-day, when I was averaging 2 hours of sleep per night.
I went to a few therapy sessions, but honestly the best advice and support was listening to LACGAL and reading the blog, and the CN stories and comments.
I have been no contact, in fact he moved 45 minutes away, into the home of his next victim, so I don’t even have to see him around town. I blocked him everywhere, but I still need to stop myself from secretly looking at his social media. I know he can’t see any of my social media. I even blocked his family and friends.
I am content; in fact I’m happier now than I ever was with him. I adopted 2 kitties, I have a boyfriend, and I love living somewhat alone (the teen is here every other week, the adult son stays with me sometimes).
I no longer care if karma visits him. I no longer find myself jealous that he is enjoying things we used to enjoy. I am making my own new joy for myself, not dependent on anyone else.
The Tuesday before D-day is appropriately enough my birthday and also one year from the last time we had sex. Once I am past these anniversaries I feel like I am totally free. Happy “Tuesday” to me!
May everyone find their meh!
Happy almost birthday and almost meh! While everyone heals on their own timetable, it’s good sometimes to stand on Shit Mountain and see how far you’ve come. Years out the “anniversaries” will just be dates on the calendar of no emotional importance.
In fact, take back anniversaries as something good. “Anti-verseries” commemorate bad days, but frankly, I’d shit can those too. Who wants to recall the worst days of their life? As you’ve demonstrated, the best way to rebuild is to grab life by the curly shorthairs and move on. Marathon, new cats, new boyfriend, new life.
Which brings us to our Friday Challenge — what’s the view from Shit Mountain like in your life? Any anniversaries you’ve taken back?