Dear Chump Lady, Does it really get better, or is that just another lie that people tell chumps to cut down on the suicide stats? My STBX was a Boy-Scout-leading, Sunday-school-teaching, neighbor-helping pillar of our community, right up until the day I walked in on him and his skank in my guest room. He lied and […]
What’s the Right Thing to Say?
When you go through some shit in life, there are those who say the wrong things (“Your messy hair drove him to it”) and those who say the right things (“Your hair is awesome. He’s an idiot.”) More important, however, are the people who DO the right things. What they say might be awkward. They […]
Is Betrayal ‘The Best Thing That Ever Happened to You’?
Dear Chump Lady, Thank you for supporting so many betrayed people. I’m 1 month from D-day. A reader submitted a comment on a recent article, “I’m going to make this the best thing that ever happened to me.” That angle is so interesting because infidelity is often the worst thing that has ever happened to […]
What Are You Taking Back?
In the early days after being chumped, the world often feels like a field of landmines. You step about carefully, so as not to set off the trip wire of Affair Objects of Great Significance. Motorola cell phones, BMWs, the crappy hotel chains of Harrisburg, Pa. Totems by which the affair was conducted. Polluted things, […]
Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop comparing myself to the OW?
Dear Chump Lady, I am five months out from the last Dday. I did not do the pick me dance, I drew boundaries and protected myself by kicking his ass to the curb. The OW was older than me (11 years older than me and X) and had actually helped me with the relationship, until […]
Bitter Bunny Dating?
Okay, as promised, the Fun Friday dating profile challenge. Part of gaining a life is considering the sort of life you want. Which chumps don’t do a lot. We get tangled up in other people’s visions, their needs, their values, and tend to neglect our own. So write it down. I’m a Nordic left-handed lug-nut […]
Dear Chump Lady, Where are all the single, available men?
Dear Chump Lady, Please throw some light on the very stormy waters of the dating world out there. The last page of your book encourages to love again strong and true, and I get this implicitly but WHERE do we meet these new guys? (Especially for those of us who were dealt the wonderful shit […]
Mightiness Update
I’m a glutton for Chump Nation’s “Tell Me How You’re Mighty” stories. People often ask if running this site depresses me (people who haven’t been chumps). Exhaust me sometimes? Yes. Depress me? Never. Because the stories here are amazing — chumps are resilient. MIGHTY. Just from a sheer story-telling perspective — there’s no dramatic arc without […]
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t get my ex’s voice out of my head
Hi Chump Lady, I am heading toward the end of the divorce process for leaving my cheater. Overall things are progressing rather well for me. I’m working hard on the the ‘gain a life’ portion of recovery to much success. While I am not quite ready to be thinking about dating again, I have occasionally […]
Your Heart and Your Wallet
I’ve heard a lot of chump stories. A conservative estimate would be hundreds of thousands. But Sheila’s stands out. I met Sheila in Australia last May — and she came up to me and said, “Well, I had to come meet you because you answered my letter.” Uh. Sheila lives in the United States. Australia […]
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