Dear Chump Lady, I am a year and a half out from discovery and four months since divorce. I am strictly keeping no contact. I’m pretty happy for the most part. One thing that I’m struggling with is inner conflict when making friends. During discovery, I found out that my husband had been cheating on […]
Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain go away?
Dear Chump Lady, My question for you and perhaps more so, Chump Nation, is when, how long does it take before the pain goes away? How many days, months, years does it take until you wake up and go a day, few days, weeks without thinking about him? What are the experiences of your readers? […]
Can I Get Some Mighty Here?
To any of the newbies, about every 6 months or so, I ask CN to Tell Me How You’re Mighty. Wherever you are in your journey through the Valley of Suck, you report on your accomplishments. And it doesn’t have to be Phi Beta Kappa stuff like earning a law degree while living in your […]
Dear Chump Lady, How can I hurt him to the core?
Hi Chump Lady, Do you have any tips on how I can hurt him to the core? We were together 10 years. No kids. He cheated. I left straight away. We didn’t even talk about the details of the affair. I mostly felt anger and disgust. I moved to a different city. Cut off all […]
Chump Lady Slouches Toward Another Year
Today is my birthday and every year I rerun the first birthday column I wrote in 2012. It’s a meditation on craptacular chumpy birthdays, and what a difference a new life — and a new partner — makes. (Not that you can’t have the new life without a new partner. This always bears repeating.) Fair […]
Real Monkey Love, Bad Monkey Love
I use the analogy here a lot of the Barbed Wire Monkey. Did you know bad monkey love was a famous scientific study? This scientist, Harry Harlow, studied primate bonding by putting baby monkeys in a cage with their real monkey mommies and other baby monkeys in a cage with barbed wire mommy substitutes, which […]
Chump Lady Gets a Check
A little miracle happened Friday night — and I wanted to post and say thank you to Chump Nation. I came home from work, went through the stack of mail, and found a letter that looked rather ominously official. It was from the literary agency that represents my book — Leave a Cheater, Gain a […]
How Do I Gain a Life Before the Divorce Is Final?
Hi Chump Lady, I’d love yours and the input of CN on the transition between Leaving the Cheater and Gaining the Life. I feel I’m in transit, like I boarded the plane to Meh on Monday, and I’m about to touch down into Tuesday with a few bags and a little bit of hope. It’s […]
You Might Be a Recovered Chump If…
Boundaries, boundaries…
Okay, so you were chumped. But how did you get mighty? When did you start enforcing boundaries that were previously trampled?
Be a Hell Raiser, Not a Chump
Every year, in honor of Labor Day weekend, I rerun this column about Mother Jones. Happy Labor Day and see you back on Tuesday! — Tracy I’m struck by how often the catalyst for an extraordinary life is loss. A friend of mine posts various nuggets of history on Facebook and the other day she […]
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