ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Real Monkey Love, Bad Monkey Love

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I use the analogy here a lot of the Barbed Wire Monkey. Did you know bad monkey love was a famous scientific study? This scientist, Harry Harlow, studied primate bonding by putting baby monkeys in a cage with their real monkey mommies and other baby monkeys in a cage with barbed wire mommy substitutes, which […]

Chump Lady Gets a Check

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A little miracle happened Friday night — and I wanted to post and say thank you to Chump Nation. I came home from work, went through the stack of mail, and found a letter that looked rather ominously official. It was from the literary agency that represents my book — Leave a Cheater, Gain a […]

How Do I Gain a Life Before the Divorce Is Final?

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Hi Chump Lady, I’d love yours and the input of CN on the transition between Leaving the Cheater and Gaining the Life. I feel I’m in transit, like I boarded the plane to Meh on Monday, and I’m about to touch down into Tuesday with a few bags and a little bit of hope. It’s […]

Be a Hell Raiser, Not a Chump

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Every year, in honor of Labor Day weekend, I rerun this column about Mother Jones. Happy Labor Day and see you back on Tuesday!  — Tracy I’m struck by how often the catalyst for an extraordinary life is loss. A friend of mine posts various nuggets of history on Facebook and the other day she […]

Meh Sightings?

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Have you had a glimpse of the Promised Land? Are you Meh? “Meh” — that liberating place of acceptance — is where you no longer are consumed with cheater drama. You don’t love them. You don’t hate them. You sort of pity anyone within a five-mile radius of them, but their existence doesn’t rock yours anymore. You’re […]

Courage Fairies

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I got a really lovely letter yesterday from a person who hadn’t been chumped but reads here, and applied “Trust That They Suck” to a different situation — her employment. She wrote to say that she Left a Job, and Gained a Life. No more over-thinking every word lest it be jumped on and nitpicked! […]

Rage Plumbing and Other Acts of Productive Anger

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So you were chumped. So you’re angry as hell about it. What GOOD thing did that anger make you do? I’m not talking about creating a funeral pyre of all your cheater’s things and dancing around it. We’re not about revenge scenarios here. I’m talking about the kind of righteous anger that creates showdowns with […]

Chump Emancipation Proclamation

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Hey, every day is a good day to overthrow tyrants, but a happy American Independence Day to you all!  On the Independence theme, KibblesNBits wrote this a couple years ago, and I thought it was worth a rerun.  Tell me in the comments what you’re doing for emancipation from fuckwits.  Happy July 4 everyone! *** Dear […]

Unspouse Your House?

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HGTV has a new show out “Unspouse Your House” — remodeling post-breakup as therapy. I’m totally onboard with this concept. Producers, call us. Chump Nation could give a master class. Raise your hand if you bought new bed linens after D-Day? Extra credit if you burned the bed. “What you think about what you deserve […]