I’m a chump with a 7-year relationship full of deceit and cheating under my belt. It just ended last week and I’m trying to stay strong. His whole thing has been that he’s a “sexual addict” to try to convince me over and over that he’s gonna be better and I should stay.
Not gonna lie, it’s obviously worked in the past. He is extremely convincing and I do love him, to my utmost chagrin.
So my question is — do you have sections or articles that talk about cheaters that try to disguise themselves as addicts in order to gain the sympathy from the chumps? I need to read more on this to give myself the power to keep seeing through the BS.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I don’t think it matters what cheaters disguise themselves as, the fuckwittery is pretty much in plain sight.
Let’s swap out “sex addict” for “clown problem.”
Erin, I’m very sorry I spent the rent on clown shoes again. You know I have a secret penchant for circus attire. I’ve tried to stop, but the minute your back is turned, I put on a red rubber nose and walk the streets as Squiffles. I can’t help it.
You’d ask — do you want to date Squiffles? Is balloon sculpture a turn-on? Was this guy open about his clown fetish when you met him?
No. Because that’d be a dealbreaker. So, he lied, and now he wants to you embrace his rainbow-ruffled deceit, even though this is not what you signed up for. Worse, he’s unclear if he really wants to denounce clowns, he just demands patience for his clown condition. Forget you know about Squiffles and don’t expect the rent money.
Now do “sex addiction.”
Would you ever have dated this guy if you knew he was a sex addict? (Assuming that’s a real condition. The DSM says it is not.) Are you okay with him risking your health? Do you really want to wait around while he figures out his fucks-around-and-lies-about-it problem?
Isn’t it curious how he diverted the attention and sympathy from you — a person hard-done by his deceit — to himself — a poor man bedeviled by addiction? I’m not feeling the sorry. I am, however, feeling the entitlement. Why does he presume more of your love and understanding, time and resources?
He has an “addiction”?
Well then, he’s not available for a relationship. So either way you slice it — a fuckwit with agency or an addict without agency — he’s NOT AVAILABLE FOR A RELATIONSHIP. He’s a creep and a user, or he’s a poor sausage who needs to do a lot of work on himself. Same conclusion — he can’t be in your life.
As for articles, check out Dr. Minwala’s Secret Sexual Basement.
Stay strong on the no contact!