Carl Lentz Cops to Being ‘Inappropriate’

Source: FX documentary

Carl Lentz, Hillsong Jesus cheater. Megachurch pastor, screws employee(s), the nanny, sees the error of his ways after being fired, and his marriage is stronger now.

I’m sorry, Tracy. What? Which Jesus cheater is this? Huh?

I know. There are so many sinister ministers, it’s hard to keep track.

Lentz is the hipster one. You know, Justin Bieber’s pastor with the $1000 sneakers.

Doesn’t ring a bell. You’ll have to be more specific. There’s an entire Instagram devoted to what televangelists spend on footwear @preachersneakers

Sigh. The cheater one.

Oh! The one with the pool boy? Who misappropriated millions?

No, that was Jerry Falwell, Jr. the other Jesus cheater.

Doug Weiss and Joni Lamb?

No! Lentz! Stringy hair? Looks like someone submerged him in the Baptismal font a little too long?

Not ringing a bell.

There are two documentaries about Hillsong. You know, founded by Jesus cheater apologist Brian Houston? Whose sinister minister father Frank Houston raped boys? (To which Brian allegedly said, they shouldn’t have been so tempting.)

Hang on, is this a Catholic thing?

No!

A Baptist thing?

No! I’m sorry the myriad of church sexual abuse scandals are dizzying. Let’s just focus on Carl Lentz for a moment.

If we must.

He takes full responsibility for his affair(s). He also would like you to know that he’s a victim too. Of sexual abuse and prescription drugs. And he has ADHD.

“Any sort of drugs mixed with any sort of sexual addictions mixed with any sort of pressure, it’ll create a storm of problems,” Lentz says.

Okay, I don’t know how I feel about that. I’m sorry he was abused. I also don’t really see how that connects to boffing the nanny. 

Bad drug cocktail. FOO issues. Follow along.

He is getting in front of this. A repentant sinner stands before you. He should’ve stepped down, but someone needs new air Jordans. WaPo reports:

Lentz notes that, in the months ahead of his firing, he knew he wasn’t fit to lead his church and should have stepped away, and he owns up when asked about his infidelity. “I did those things. Those are on me. I take responsibility for those, and for the rest of my life I’ll be making amends where I can,” he says.

Those! Fill in the blanks. Did you imagine a Furry Fandom kink? Goats? Those are on him. Those should cover it.  Look, Lentz is nervous. He needs the serenity prayer to continue.  Let’s not get into the specifics. This is very hard for him. He’ll make amends where he can. If he finds the stamina. Perhaps.

He’ll admit, okay, he was “inappropriate” with the nanny.

“I am responsible for allowing an inappropriate relationship to develop in my house with someone who worked for us,” he says on-screen. “Any notion of abuse is categorically false.”

Inappropriate relationships are never abusive. They’re just inappropriate. Like wearing tennis shoes with formal wear. Oh, hang on that’s a thing. Like burping in front of your grandmother. Fucking around with your children’s caregiver, in your home, traumatizing your wife. Hey, he said he was sorry.

Did he? I think he said he was “responsible” and “inappropriate.”

Good point. Anyway, the point is inappropriateness made his marriage stronger. The Lentzs celebrated their 20th anniversary May 5. Laura Lentz said on Instagram:

“Yep, it has been challenging and hell yeah it’s taken a LOT of work the past 22 months (but who’s counting 😂) to make our marriage what it has become, & we will never stop working on ourselves, for this marriage and for our kids!”

Hey, the Hillsong kiddy rapists are gone, the nanny fucking has been declared inappropriate, and it’s a new day! For the children!

Any thoughts and prayers for Carl Lentz, CN?

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SouthernChump
SouthernChump
9 months ago

It’s people like him, his wife, and the people that devotedly believe his BS that repel me from church or anyone that acts over the top churchy!

I dealt with a similar situation at my church except sprinkle in some good old fashioned physical beatings, mental abuse, financial abuse and, you know, all the stuff that abusers do on top of cheating. The Sunday before the mega beat down I got, called the police, and fled for my life our pastor did a sermon on “Supporting neglected/abused women”….the following Sunday our pastor was reaching out to me asking to meet with him and my abusive ex husband to “Save our Marriage”. I reported him to the board immediately along with the text he sent and the police reports. He was fired the following week, took a several year sabbatical, and now back in town pastoring another “Love Works” church where he openly accepts Jesus Cheaters/Abusers and takes their money. Oh! Here’s another kicker, he made a movie that came out last year about how “Love Works” of which he and his wife texted me numerous invitations to come see as if I was their “friend”. I blocked them for good! Fuck those assholes and fuck this asshole! People like this are nothing but narcissistic mindfuckers that promote abuse.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  SouthernChump

Sounds exactly like working in the entertainment and media industries. Art and journalism are given the moral weight and power of the church in many senses, the powerful believe their own magical hype and act with impunity in service to supposedly “higher purposes,” “true believers” are eaten alive while lackeys turn blind eyes and silence victims and the “everlasting life” bit is fame and people will whore for it and kill for it. The end result of all the carnage is mostly infotainment and shitty sitcoms and, more rarely, real art and brave journalism.

Magnolia
Magnolia
9 months ago

Preach, HOAC!

Magnolia
Magnolia
9 months ago
Reply to  Magnolia

(true believer in art and journalism over here, who has been eaten alive by blind disciples of the magically hyped more than once!)

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  Magnolia

It really attracts the best and the worst– mostly the worst. You might love the book “Testimony,” the autobiography of the ground-breaking Soviet-era composer Dmitri Shostakovich. He takes the very “radical” (not radical to me) position that sadists are never truly artists but are only perceived and mythologized as such because humans tend to grovel around the biggest monsters and “see something” in their work whether it exists or not. He’s actually quite funny about it in places. I think what makes this such an important historic chronicle of art and survival is that all the usual toxic politics and the battle between good and evil were amplified under Stalin where you could really end up dead if you didn’t smell the glove, sell your soul, turn blind eyes and get in line.

A musician friend in college gave me that book as a gift and I strapped it around me like a Kevlar vest the entire time I worked in media. I kept referring to that perspective to keep my sanity. The book also became a kind of litmus test for character. When I’d rattle off a synopsis of it, people would usually either look leery and threatened or would explode with validated relief and say, “OMG, yes!” I eventually figured out that purely “intellectual” reactions to the idea, even if the reactions seemed positive, aren’t conclusive. Only people who’ve repeatedly gotten it in the neck for consistently trying to maintain principles would do the happy dance. Those are my favorites.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago
Reply to  SouthernChump

” of which he and his wife texted me numerous invitations to come see as if I was their “friend”.”

Of course he did, if you come see his pig slop message, then he can say see she knows I was right. Cheaters are all alike, lets be friends.

KB22
KB22
9 months ago
Reply to  SouthernChump

I have nothing against religion and believers, but take issue with the creeps that become top dog (pastors, ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, etc.) in whatever congregation, that are in it for power, money and to inflict abuse. Then there are some that are just weirdos. Yes, there are some that are good, decent & devout but it seems they are in the minority these days. This could be the major reason why Christianity in the US is in decline.

Marcus
Marcus
9 months ago
Reply to  KB22

I’m a Christian, and today’s blog makes me squirm, because it is true, funny, and tragic. Jesus had some very harsh things to say about religious leaders who hurt or mislead the faithful. In case anyone reads this and wants a suggestion for a church where manipulation by the leadership is less likely, I might suggest one which has such a low profile and is so un-trendy, that leadership therein doesn’t have much to offer your average narcissist. I am a UK Methodist 🙂

(That said – when we do get the odd person who wants to big-time it in the pulpit, the fact they chose to do it to us usually means they are pretty low achievers! Perhaps that’s a good thing, as no-one is taken in.)

Heather
Heather
9 months ago
Reply to  Marcus

In the U.S. the Mennonite church isn’t bad. Committed to social justice but not very prestigious, & such a complex about not being flashy or authoritarian it would be pretty darn unsatisfying to a narcissist. (Also they don’t all wear bonnets and stuff, that’s a pretty small minority!)

Sammie D
Sammie D
9 months ago

If the is what her post actually said, her marriage is not good. I’d say it’s f’d. She picked her words very carefully so if confronted she can spin it if needed or just own up. Yep we worked hard to get it to where it is today……but it’s still f’d.
Pastors wives with in Hillsong are taught to converse in a way that allows them plausible deniability. You just have to learn the language to read between the lines.
After years of sitting in female orientated services at Hillsong I asked a senior female pastor, why does the church continue to encourage women staying in abusive relationships? She looked at me puzzled and asked what did I mean. I stated that one particular female pastor who often spoke would tell the female congregation “if you have problems in your marriage that you think are to big for god, I encourage you just keep showing up, keep praying, but stick at it, keep showing up for your marriage” women so want to trust that god would fix their problem that they stay in the abuse. The pastor who would peddle this tripe had what appeared to be a good marriage and often people trapped in the religious bubble see others living a supposedly charmed life and hope if they just show a bit more faith they could have a charmed life too. But sadly CN is proof that is not the case.

lulutoo
lulutoo
9 months ago
Reply to  Sammie D

I saw the picture of husband and wife together–felt like saying to her, “If you need help getting away from him, blink three times.” (in other words, she looks trapped)

Sharon
Sharon
9 months ago

Tracy, did you leave any comments in WaPo?

Orlando
Orlando
9 months ago

I’m okay with forgiveness if you apologized, made amends & stopped your abusive tactics. It doesn’t mean I want to hang out with you again though. This is where manipulators keep on with their sketchy behaviour though: they DO want to hang out with you still so they will tell & sell you whatever they think appeals to you to bring you back into their fold. I’m sure this is the same tactic this faker, um pastor, wants to use on his former flock. The bar should be higher for clergy (and those in positions of higher trust) and they should not be allowed to return to those positions. Me thinks (and prays) that Carl Lentz gets another job in a different field, preferably one in which he’s supervised better.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago

I agree that the power structure makes it abusive.

However, in my case thought she was his direct report, they had actually gotten together while she was working at the dog pound down town, he was not her supervisor. He and she schemed to get her hired into the dog catcher position and neither of them bothered to tell brass that oh by the way we are fuck buddies. At some point women have to take responsibility for their own actions, like the two high lever anchor folks who got busted. They were both at fault for lying their way into a job. The only abuse was to the folks that lost out those jobs to better qualified folks who weren’t stupping the hiring agent.

In my fw’s case the victims were the other women in the org who didn’t get a raise but whore did, because she was screwing the boss; and had been long before she even got the job. She and he both were lying, conniving, low life’s and yes they both got their just deserts.

KatiePig
KatiePig
9 months ago

I’m a very religious person but I will say that people need to be more careful about trusting people at church. Predators go where the victims are. Churches are full of vulnerable people going through hard times who desperately need support. Predators are going to go there. It’s the same with schools. That’s why you hear so many stories about teachers screwing their students. Predators go where their victims of choice are.

thingsthatmakemegrumpy
thingsthatmakemegrumpy
9 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

You’re absolutely right KatiePig. I’m Catholic. My two oldest kids were altar boys. This one priest at our parish just gave me the creeps. I got a bad vibe, and so when my kids altar served when he was saying Mass, I made sure I was in the doorway of the sacristy when they were getting ready for Mass and when they were done. A few years after he was assigned to another parish he ended up subject to a lawsuit and admitted to anonymous gay hookups in public places, but not the abuse I’m pretty sure he did. Fast-forward to the months following D-day. I sought counsel from the parish. The priest who was supposed to be counseling me was sleeping with a catechumen (someone in the process of becoming Catholic). Counseling me about my wife’s infidelity while he was breaking his own vows. This priest also got my radar up as being a narcissist. We should listen to our intuition and not make excuses. I wish I had done that with my wife. I would not have wasted 27 years, only a couple of years.

Falling Forward
Falling Forward
9 months ago

I really relate to this. I didn’t even consider that my situation was abusive, because I was in the marriage for good. If my eyes had been open to seeing the actual truth, I could’ve been out at 1-2 years not 23. Yikes.

Elsie
Elsie
9 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

Yes, I learned through my mess that the church is largely naive and will enable for appearance’s sake. For crying out loud, don’t you see that there might indeed be a wolf in the pew? My ex was one of them, and there were people for the longest time that could NOT believe that he could possibly be someone we had to get away from. I learned within month after he left that I had to stand firm in what I experienced, period.

Juniper
Juniper
9 months ago
Reply to  Elsie

“I learned through my mess that the church is largely naive and will enable for appearance’s sake.” Same here, Elsie. You said it much more kindly than I would, but yes.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

“That’s why you hear so many stories about teachers screwing their students. Predators go where their victims of choice are.”

Agreed, that is why churches/schools/orgs etc who have learned the hard way they can’t trust, need to establish and enforce rules on being alone with children. Our church does not allow one person to be alone with children, at any event, and they have to go through a background check and take a certification class etc.

KatiePig
KatiePig
9 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

That’s really good. The last church I attended did the same. Everyone who volunteered for anything had to have a background check and the children’s area was kept separate and people weren’t allowed to just go in there. I’ve currently moved and I’m looking for a new church and I want one that behaves similarly. I want to do volunteer work but I don’t want to do it next to a convicted rapist, you know? I don’t care how sorry he feels about it, I feel I deserve to be protected. As do the people we’re volunteering to help.

SouthernChump
SouthernChump
9 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

RIGHT! My ex (who was screwing the 26 yr younger than him nanny) claimed he did it because she was “broken” and Jesus called him to “help” her. He is a predator, cheater, and abuser! #icantmakethisshitup.

SecondSelf
SecondSelf
9 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

Agree. I’ve started trying to talk to people at church about this. My pastor gave a sermon the other day on humility, forgiveness and always being careful to examine your own motivations and faults, recognizing we are imperfect. I was sitting there whispering in my daughter’s ear that it was a good message but was dangerous to apply universally. I told the pastor after he needed to include the context that humility and self reflection and forgiveness are only appropriate when dealing with a non-abusive situation. Abuser involved? Stop with the self reflection and taking responsibility yourself and get the hell out.

Elsie
Elsie
9 months ago
Reply to  SecondSelf

I do the same at my church. There are times that you just need to get away from evil, period. Certainly, you can work through things and come to a place of peace with what happened, but forgiveness doesn’t require reconciliation.

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
9 months ago

These fuckers are SO boring. How can anyone fall for their performative BS is beyond me. Wifey needs a rock solid post nup in her and the kids advantage if she’s going to play All Forgiven, or GTFO of there!

Shann
Shann
9 months ago

I’ve got a GREAT one, for this!
https://lysaterkeurst.com/
Lysa is a biblical scholar who attempted to wreckoncile while her husband carried in with a double life.
When I read her book (“It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way”)
during dday and Covid, I was disappointed in her and didn’t care for the book where she and Art lived apart, got LOTS of Christian therapy and did all the “things”

This year I see her looking gorgeous and REBUILDING. She has had MANY talks WITH biblical scholars in divorce and infidelity. It’s very validating and refreshing.
Please peek around:)

Elsie
Elsie
9 months ago
Reply to  Shann

I read that book too and thought — I know how this will end. He’s playing her.

Yes, he was.

portia
portia
9 months ago

I live in the South. My parents grew up in a mountain community where there were families who went to church, or the Moonshiner families. Sometimes there would be crossover family members who denounced one or the other of the two choices. Another subgroup, those who attended church, professed the beliefs, and then met in the moonlight to consume shine and dance.

I was raised with one parent from a church going family and one parent from a moonshine family. Both said they believed some of the church going beliefs. Both would occasionally take a drink but I never saw them drunk. They did not attend church. They were fairly responsible parents who worked, housed and fed their children physically, but offered almost nothing emotionally. I bet you can see why I am ambiguous about organized religion. I’ve been to many events that were church related, attended several denominations church services, have read and even participated in some bible study groups. I think you could describe my interest as having an open mind and a historical perspective.

One reason I have never joined a congregation is because I have never seen true leadership skills or felt any of the professed preachers to be inspired to deliver any wisdom. They seemed more inspired to be admired. They wanted followers, and money, and privileges, and blind loyalty. I have met many churchgoers who seem to believe attendance will give them an advanced place in line on Judgement Day. They do not know their doctrine, and they do not lead the professed lifestyle. If questioned, they say Jesus died for their sins, and they are saved, and that is the only thing that matters. I just don’t believe that.

I found that I did not need organized religion in my life, just as I did not need to be married. I have an inner moral voice that has always told me “right” or “wrong” for me. I do not have to attend a service to find answers — I am capable of reading and processing information. I am capable of choosing a sane lifestyle which is healthy for my body and mind. I do not need to be told to forgive someone for something they show no true remorse for. That is definitely not my job.

With regard to sinister ministers, or Jesus cheaters — I just don’t have the time or energy to listen to their public statements or care about their messed-up lives. I do not have to associate with someone who has values so different from mine. It always comes down to that. Is this acceptable to you? If not, move away, nothing to look at here, don’t waste your precious time!

BeenThereandWasAChump
BeenThereandWasAChump
8 months ago
Reply to  portia

This is exactly why I am not a church goer, nor am I especially religious because all I can see is the hypocrisy in the people who are supposed to be ‘leading’. There has only been ONE minister who I ever found who walked the walk that he talked. I went to his church and could believe every word of what he said. It often felt like he was talking directly to me and what had been bothering me that week. There were many times that I cried about what he was saying because it meant something to me. But he was the only one I ever found like that in all of my years and I’m in my 60s.

Most of them I found to be fake and so where the people who went and sat in the front row. They just wanted to be seen as being ‘good people’ when they weren’t even close.

chumped48
chumped48
9 months ago

reason number 867 of why I’m an atheist. Liars all. FW was a “devout” catholic who gave more money to the church than he did his kids- his father is even worse. So glad my kids are done with religion.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
9 months ago
Reply to  chumped48

I relate to Einstein’s version of agnosticism but refuse to associate with current organized atheists. They’ve sullied the term. They seem to have their own church-style scandals and hypocrisies like Michael Shermer’s rapey harassment legacy, the circulating sex tapes of the late James “The Amazing” Randi with boys so young their voices hadn’t changed, Sam Harris’s and Richard Dawkins’ neoliberalism and warmongering racism, etc. The latter makes sense since the Skeptics have emerged as a front group for arms, oil, pesticides and big pharma in recent years but I don’t think their true believers really grasp this or the idea that making a cult of expedient science that you’re not allowed to question (like Skeptic hub ACSH claiming pesticides are good for toddlers, yikes) is the heart of fascism. Not so skeptical after all! In any event, Skeptic figureheads wield church-like sway over their “flocks” which leads to the usual creepy fallout. Absolute power and all that.

It seems some people can’t be good with or without the concept of God. It’s still entirely up to the individual. At this point I have equal respect for secular and nonsecular views depending on how the individual exercises their beliefs.

Kara
Kara
9 months ago

Ok…I can have empathy for someone who has suffered sexual abuse and struggled with their mental health and adhd diagnosis.

HOWEVER

The minute, the very minute, anyone uses it as an excuse for harming others, I stop listening. Especially when it only becomes the excuse when caught. Then it just becomes emotional manipulation.

I’ve experienced sexual assault. I’ve struggled with my mental health and seeking adult diagnoses for ADHD.

I have raped NO ONE. I have not carried on illicit affairs with coworkers or subordinates. I don’t use religious bypassing to absolve myself of my bad choices. And I would hardly think anyone here in CN would believe doing so would be acceptable.

Adelante
Adelante
9 months ago

Let me guess…he entered the preacher biz because the business of “personal trainer” was already saturated.

lulutoo
lulutoo
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Adelante, your comment made me LOL!

The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

And so was “life coach.”

Ka-chump
Ka-chump
9 months ago

As was “stand-up comedian”

Little Wing
Little Wing
9 months ago
Reply to  Adelante

Hey there, Adelante. Hope things are good with you. I have been keeping you in my “blessings cocoon” (best way I can describe it). I hope that your master’s program is going well, and that you keeping up with everything, and not dealing with too much craziness.

FYI
FYI
9 months ago

Lentz now has a job at Transformation Church in Tulsa. It’s a predominantly Black, nondenominational megachurch lead by YouTuber Michael Todd. Todd wrote a book called “Relationship Goals,” and — surprise — he is featured on PreacherSneakers for his expensive tennis shoes. And, yes, how did you know? He also teaches a “Money Mastery” course.
So glad to see that Lentz has changed his ways. 🙄
Girl (wife), RUN.

Elsie
Elsie
9 months ago

It just never ends, does it?

I married into a family along those lines. During separation, they told me that I had to reconcile “at all costs” and that the family name was more important than well-being and safety. I was expecting my ex to kick off the “righteous divorce” from his “rebel wife” at any moment, so I ended it with them over a year into separation. They felt that divorce was never, ever justified. NEVER! But my STBX figured he could weaponize his family against me, so he did. He fabricated a whole web of mental illness and poor life choices on my part that he shared with them as evidence that I was a “rebel wife.”

Thankfully, I somehow got my brain together and closed the door on his family, and then hired my superstar attorney when my husband kicked off the divorce from his “rebel wife.” Ironically, both attorneys were religious men who found sermons by my STBX online that they listened to as part of their research. Ultimately, the two attorneys decided together that my STBX was a hypocrite (among other things). My attorney told me at signing that the religious part of my case was one of the most interesting aspects to him, and that his prayers had been answered in getting me a good settlement without a trial. So ironic!

Now, I have a broader view of the church and community outreach than I once did and have focused my spiritual life in the community, not at church. I still go to church on Sundays, but I’m not focused on what happens in the church building if that makes sense.

lulutoo
lulutoo
9 months ago
Reply to  Elsie

Good for you, Elsie! You should think about changing your name to ‘Rebel Wife’ (or Ex-Wife)!

BattleDancingUnicorn
BattleDancingUnicorn
9 months ago

Jesus cheaters and the christian wing of the RIC make me shake in fury. I know it’s at least partly because that’s my trauma too, but the notion that there’s some sort of heavenly trophy for a dutiful marriage with someone who risked your health and every bit of stability in your life is rage-inducing for me. The spouses that choose divorce and walk away often also lose the community that is “supporting” them. When all you know is a barbed wire monkey…

Susan
Susan
9 months ago

My all time favorite was in 2017, the president of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod was sued for sexual harassment by one of his assistants. This lawsuit was settled for 1million dollars. People tried to tell me that there no proof that anything had happened between the pastor and his assistant. I tried to explain that there had to be a real good reason for that 1 million dollar payout. You don’t pay someone that kind of money because nothing happened. Unfortunately people have a real way of denying of is completely obvious to everyone else on this planet.

LookingForwardsToTuesday
LookingForwardsToTuesday
9 months ago

Soooooo …. “I’ll be making amends where I can” …. that is typical of a Cheater; just enough of an acknowledgement to get themselves off of the hook, but no real commitment on his part. It’s the “where I can” bit that gets me; it feels all too much like “when I get around to it” or “unless it starts to feel like hard work.”

I’m guessing that making amends sits somewhere on his “to do list” just below “rearrange sock draw” and is not the urgent priority that it should be.

Also, the scruffy f*cker needs to get a haircut.

LFTT

The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
9 months ago

Or at least wash and brush his hair.

Emma C
Emma C
9 months ago

One of my sisters is quite religious but she finally left her cheating husband. She is Catholic.
My daughter was being Confirmed and I asked my sister to sponsor her. I was told my sister had to have a letter from her pastor to say she is a Catholic in good standing. She went to her pastor and he refused to give her the letter unless she admitted she was wrong to leave her husband since it’s normal for men to cheat and she was probably at fault anyways. She would also have to go to Confession and admit her sin.
I assessed the situation on my side and noted that the organizer had no organization skills. We promised the letter but never delivered it. Confirmation went as planned with my sister as a sponsor.

The Confirmation went as planned but my ex brought along his girlfriend whom we suspected was going to the bathroom for 20 minutes at a time to do drugs. The following month showed this to be true, so had to issue a letter to ex that she couldn’t be around his daughters.

And … several years later, the Bishop (who had become a Cardinal of the Catholic Church) was arrested as a pedophile.

Conchobara
Conchobara
9 months ago
Reply to  Emma C

Head. Explode-y.

Good God. This is why so many view the church as a toxic environment and it’s hard for those of us who still want to have a relationship of some sort with faith feel judged by others. And makes it harder and harder to trust any organized church organization.

The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
The Ex-Mrs. Sparkly Pants
9 months ago

I hope there’s a special place in hell for Jesus Cheaters.

I’ve been married (and divorced) three times, and all three were Jesus cheaters. The first was church organist and co-director of music with Sister Margaret, the nun who led our pre-maritial religious classes. He fucked her, the choir director, a few sopranos and the leaders of a couple of women’s groups and God alone knows who else. The second was a former Benedictine monk. I missed the cheating until after I had decided to divorce him (for a very nearly successful murder attempt). I was looking for other women, not for Father Steve. The third was a “very devout Catholic” who wanted to be married in the Church. I went through the trouble and expense of getting my first two marriages annulled in order to marry him in the Church. Then I went through a year-long program to become a Catholic so we could eventually be buried side by side. Throughout our marriage, he played “Catholic police,” making sure I genuflected low enough, abstained from meat on Fridays, gave up something for Lent, etc. Turns out he was fucking around the whole time, and had at least a heavy flirtation with my Tribunal Advocate.

I was a wedding photographer as one of my many college-era jobs — I knew a lot of clergy, including virtually ALL the clergy in the counties around my home town, and many around the college town. Of all of that clergy, I only know ONE who seemed to be genuinely kind, empathetic and truly religious. The rest seemed to be in it for attention, for power, to get women and all of those other nasty little reasons other posters have pointed out. (I may be mixing up which comments came from WaPo and which came from CL.). I’ve been hit on by male church leaders in the dozens, mostly married church leaders. I’ve been groped by church leaders starting when I first started to develop breasts at the age of 12 (and they dropped by the middle school Sunday School class to “talk to me about getting more involved.” My mother and grandmother both assured me that I had misinterpreted the situation because “he’s a good man and he would never do that.” Kind of difficult to miss a grown man groping your breasts, in my opinion, and difficult to misinterpret that as well.

My best friend is a member of one of those non-denominational evangelical churches, and I respect her because I know she’s genuinely religious. But I’ve accompanied her to many the service and have not yet found one of the leaders of one of her churches who seemed to be genuine.

My former sister-in-law, also religious, tells me I’m just “prejudiced against organized religion.” Possibly she’s right. On the other hand, it’s quite possible that men who pursue leadership positions in organized religion are often entitled and/or Narcissists. I’m finally comfortable with NOT being religous or involved in a church. But it took me a long time to get there.

SerenityNow
SerenityNow
9 months ago

These are merely my muddling thoughts this morning but before I read this post today I spent time contemplating the toxicity inherent in much of some religious settings. What specifically bothered me was the entire “celebration” at some Christian school of Florida’s governor signing laws barring drag shows and forbidding people from identifying their own pronouns – you now have to go with what’s on your birth certificate or else. Sticking noses into someone else’s business. Proponents want to ensure that you live your life how they want you to live your life because to do otherwise is uncomfortable to them and therefore must be illegal. You must toe the line and live in the box which is created for you.

To allow people who have been abused in a marriage to just up and leave the marriage is uncomfortable for some people because it then allows free agency. It’s threatening to think that someone will stick up for themselves and walk. Abuse in marriage or in life isn’t the cooties. It’s not catching. Just because it happens to someone else doesn’t mean it will happen to you. It shouldn’t be threatening but it is. Therefore it’s wrong.

This mea culpa by the stringy haired pseudo Jesus is just b.s. The “our marriage is better” is b.s. Urging people to stay in drama, danger and chaos for the sake of the children is garbage. My ex was one of those cheaters spouting scripture and bible passages. I think he did that to feel better about himself and the crap that he was doing. That’s untangling the skein which I won’t indulge in anymore for my peace of mind. I’ll never know and it doesn’t matter. He also would say that this healing from his cheating would make our marriage stronger. No, I won’t live my life in a constant state of monitoring his wandering dick. I’m free of that and have moved on.

This site is great because it calls out the people who are peddling the garbage RIC.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
9 months ago

I think if you have a history of cheating and lying, if you really want to make amends you need to “go forth and sin no more” and step down from leadership positions.

I read an interview this morning with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He’s written a new book. It’s called Be Useful: Seven Useful Tools.

He’s a tool, and a useless one, when it comes to dispensing life advice, unless he wants to share honestly about the nuclear affair fallout he created when he and the housekeeper decided to f**k.

He thinks he and Maria Shriver should get an Oscar for how they handled their divorce.

“If there’s Oscars for how to handle divorce, Maria and I should get it for having the least amount of impact on the kids. The sweetness and kindness you see in them, that’s from my wife. The discipline and work ethic is from me,” he said.

He should get an Oscar for having the least amount of impact on the kids?

I wonder how the kids, including the one he had with the housekeeper really feel, and how their illicit sexual relationship impacted them.

The road to redemption for cheaters, if there is one, is a low-profile silent one, except for when taking responsibility for their violations.

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
9 months ago

Daughter Katherine Schwarzenegger’s relationship timeline with her now husband actor Chris Pratt smells fishy. His first wife was Anna Faris, they share a son born prematurely and they divorced. Then Katherine appears on the scene. It wouldn’t be the first time an adult child takes after a personality disordered parent. A friend sent me footage years ago of Ugly Arnold as a guest on a German talk show where he was flirting and grabbing the female host. This was before the housekeeper and her son were revealed.

susie lee
susie lee
9 months ago

Oscars are given for the best performances while pretending to be someone else, so maybe he is on to something.

2xchump🚫again
2xchump🚫again
9 months ago

As I’ve said before, my Pastors re-baptized my husband with known cheating and abuse, his online girlfriend in the front pew and with a text from them to me saying ” some men can’t be alone even a minute waiting for a divorce” to make it all OK to do this. I stayed at this church and am sitting alone every week in the 3rd to the front pew to look at them as they preach. I have nothing to say to them but I stay to stare. On Mother’s day, the main pastor brought me a flower from the bucket of carnations up front. I wonder why? I will be meh with all of them and not put forward any effort but listening. To all my friends at chump Nation, Church is impression management extreme. My STBXH gave me a D day bomb and then EXPECTED ME to sit close to him the next day in the pew.!!!! What???? He also went up and down the aisle telling everyone he met how I DROVE HIM TO the arms of other woman and it was my fault and he felt sorry I was so unstable. Some people believed him and kept away but others befriended me. In Jesus words, those who harm his children will be held accountable. His words were not gentle either. These people are wolves in sheep clothing. Churches, synagogues, mosques, holy places are sceneros that hide, encourage, deceive and perpetuate abuse. But so are families, jobs, and any areas where people gather. So are woman and men who allow abusers to carry on in leadership roles to prey on innocents. So are wives and husband who continue to allow abusers back into their beds for round 2, 3 4 or 100. We chumps are aiding and abetting these individuals to keep on doing what works for them. CL her book,all of us can change the narrative and come out of chumpdom and act and speak to uncover the liars and users. And leave them, fire them and let them find someone else to damage. It will never be me again

justme
justme
9 months ago

RUN!! For sanities sake run from this narcissistic , POS. What a sparkly turd. He is deep into his IMAGE management. Must get those public “ducks” in a row, you know? Ick, just ewww.

Cindy
Cindy
9 months ago

Hypocrisy is alive and well!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
9 months ago

I recall from an article on this situation with Lentz that the nanny was married to another pastor. Notice the lack of remorse towards that person in his response. Sad and wrong.

Luziana
Luziana
9 months ago

My favorite part is him trying to look like Italian Renaissance Jesus instead of Hipster Douche Jesus.

Big Righteous Gemstone Energy.

Little Wing
Little Wing
9 months ago
Reply to  Luziana

“Big Righteous Gemstone Energy.”

I love watching “The Righteous Gemstones”! It is like re-visiting my childhood and teen years, but with popcorn, a comfy couch, and a pause button.

CrispyChick
CrispyChick
9 months ago

Predators love a nice, trusting congregation of people looking up to them during life’s most challenging moments. I’ve met a couple of decent preachers but religious organizations (and sports organizations!) can attract some of the worst creeps. Messiah complex anyone?

Watch your children closely in these places.

Juniper
Juniper
9 months ago
Reply to  CrispyChick

Messiah complex – yep! I came across a note jotted by my “good guy” ex – who was part of the Sunday morning worship team – about how he wanted to “save” the AP (my friend – we all went to church together), and questioning if he himself had a God complex.

DrChump
DrChump
9 months ago

I am sorry that I am telling this again but I can’t help it.
FW was Eucharistic minister, president of Women’s Guild altar service and volunteer at church school where son was going.
She had affair with maintenance guy and told everyone I was abusive. I endured 2 years of neglect until a wise old nun, my patient, pointed out what the truth was. Before then priests and most of church turn backs on me and chastised me. I swear at times I struggled to find a reason to live.
Now priest just started trying to talk to me again. I am a daily communicant and for 14 months he ignored me when I needed him.

Juniper
Juniper
9 months ago
Reply to  DrChump

“…most of church turn backs on me…I swear at times I struggled to find a reason to live.” Me too, Doc. Me too.

Rarity
Rarity
9 months ago

I tried to post this comment this morning, but it keeps going to spam. Let me try again…

My husband’s exit affair partner is now married to the senior pastor of a church in Wisconsin.

I guess my thoughts, as a divinity school PhD student, budding theological scholar, occasional preacher, and Jesus Cheater infidelity survivor, are:

(1) Men like Lentz are disqualified from ministry leadership, per 1 Tim 3. The phrase “husband of one wife” likely means “a one-woman man,” or has been faithful to his spouse—which he has not. Him returning to ministry after what he did is the Christian version of CN’s “that is the extent of his sorry.”

(2) We evangelicals beclown ourselves in constantly failing to hold our leaders to our own sexual code of ethics. (We beclown ourselves in many other ways, but let’s focus on the sex for now.)

(3) Jesus Cheaters fool many, but God is real and he is not fooled.

Thank you for coming to my Christian TED talk.

Ka-chump
Ka-chump
9 months ago

What’s astonishing is how the mega-church masses adore these actors and long to be rich, hip and ‘spiritual’ like them. Amazing how a smooth tongue and piously braggadocious manner ie ‘God told me’, can turn the most vapid little pseudo-religious babble into the pinnacles of spiritual enlightenment. They’re good at manipulating your deep seated religious guilt but shallow discernment into funding their evil racket.

Plus they’re surrounded with yes-men i.e.church elders and board members eager to cover up their escapades in exchange for $$ and a chance to launch their own future mega-pastor careers.

We Jesus chumps are the worst enemies/victims of these wolves, coz they weaponized our faith and the church’s ruthlessly pro-marriage stance against us. Lucky for me FW left of his own accord, but many years later I’m still being shunned by those I used to trust for my ‘failure to keep my home intact’. Oh well.

Juniper
Juniper
9 months ago
Reply to  Ka-chump

All this 👆🏼

Nut Cluster Free Zone
Nut Cluster Free Zone
9 months ago

I have a list of people of the cloth and their “inappropriate” behavior. Isn’t that a pleasant euphemism ? My late mother worked for one of the dioceses of the Episcopal church and shared lots of stories.

-Bishop Judas Jack who drove his first wife into an insane asylum, diagnosed with acute paranoia. Guess cheating on your spouse for years can one drive you crazy. Two women were vying for his attention-Denise, one of the first women ordained in the Church and Christine, a secretary. Christine won and survived him when he died a couple of years ago. Denise’s daughter took after her mother and cheated on her husband;they’re now divorced. I don’t know why Denise and her husband Richard divorced but daughter Elizabeth is a bit younger than her two older brothers and looks NOTHING like her father or brothers. A blonde towhead yet both parents and her brothers are brunettes.

-the last reverend of the church I was raised in on the east coast was forced to resign for something bad. Either screwing around with a parishioner or interfering with a child in his parish. The church newsletter mentioned disciplinary action and how the vestry and parish would work on “healing”. The sinister minister fled down south to die at a young age (late 40s) of ALS and frontotemporal dementia. No mention of his wife in his obituary, just his son. I’m glad she escaped and feel sorry for his son.

-I was an acolyte for Reverend Gordon at his ordination. His wife, a fellow minister, died of cancer (what kind, I wonder ? Gyno from a venereal disease perhaps ?) He was caught messing around with a woman in his parish and was defrocked. He died in his early sixties and left behind two sons who are also ministers.