ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Dear Chump Lady, Do I tell the kids about the cheating?

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Dear Chump Lady, I have been married for almost 17 years, together for 21 years. The first time I caught him cheating it was all online, but included phone sex, cam sex, and lost of graphic instant messaging back and forth — with a woman we both know! The next time I caught him it […]

Dear Chump Lady, Does it really get better?

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Dear Chump Lady, Does it really get better, or is that just another lie that people tell chumps to cut down on the suicide stats? My STBX was a Boy-Scout-leading, Sunday-school-teaching, neighbor-helping pillar of our community, right up until the day I walked in on him and his skank in my guest room. He lied and […]

Dear Chump Lady, He sees me as the Fixer

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Dear Chump Lady, The other night as the Super Bowl was just getting started, my 18-year-old daughter called me into her bedroom. Her dad, (my ex of nine months), had just called to tell her he was vacationing and got married in Vegas the day before! Within five minutes he texted me: “Hey there. I […]

Dear Chump Lady, My ex has cancer

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Hi Chump Lady, I’ve been a former Chump for 8 years; I’ve got the fair settlement, a great house I bought and restored pretty much myself, the better career than I’d ever thought possible, a closer relationship with my kids and No Contact unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for our adult daughter. My other grown up sons […]

Dear Chump Lady, I’d divorce her, but she wants that

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Dear Chump Lady: I’ve read your advice and I want to divorce her. But that’s what she wants and she is manipulating me into being the one to do it. We’ve been separated for 6 months with essentially No Contact and I’m fairly certain she is committed to Smoochy Poo. The RIC has convinced me […]

Dear Chump Lady, I’m still broken hearted

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Dear Chump Lady, It has been over 5 years since D-Day, and about 3-1/2 years since I have spoken or seen my fuckwad cheater. I just found a journal entry that I made at the time, and I realized that I am STILL BROKEN-HEARTED. Although I have put my life back together to some extent, […]

Dear Chump Lady, I just want to watch it burn

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Dear Chump Lady, My friend directed me to you Chump Lady, I have been humming and hawing about wanting to message you but I decided as we are about to make the 1 year threshold it was time to talk and ask a significant question. My partner for 5 years, and wife for over 4 […]

Cool. Bummer. Wow.

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Dear Chump Lady, Please help! I do not know how to navigate this entire divorce mess with my two teenage daughters. My youngest sees her father every other weekend. This includes time spent with the OW. This weekend they took a day trip and she took many pictures on her phone from the day. She […]

Managing Divorce Expectations

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It’s always a good idea to manage your expectations around most things. What’s this? A scented candle? NO, I WANTED A PONY! Life has a way of broadsiding us. This is especially true when it comes to divorce. Now, you would think I’m a cheerleader for divorce, given the tagline here — “Leave a Cheater, Gain […]

How to Deal with Adult Child After D-Day?

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband told me 4 weeks before our 50th wedding anniversary that he had been having an affair with a woman who he saw at an out-of-town work conference for 11 years. He told me in the most vile descriptive language imaginable, which is something he never ever used before. It took […]