Dear Chump Lady, My story begins four years ago. My narcissist had an emotional affair with a much younger (30 years..) girl at the local amateur dramatic group. Initially, they were just ‘drawn to one another’ after acting together in a play. He started flossing, shaving, taking his phone to the bathroom and changing his […]
‘Replaced’ and Still Feels Empty
Dear Chump Lady, I was married for almost 30 years, have one now grown daughter, and I’m in my 60s. I managed to survive serial cheating and lots of other abuse. My daughter and I were immediately replaced with a new younger OW and a younger OD (other daughter) and other dog! I got back […]
What Happens to Couple Friends After Divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post divorce after discovering my ex-wife’s infidelity in September 2013. This holiday season my children (12, 8) are with my ex-wife abroad with her affair partner on holiday with my ex in-laws. It sucks that my kids spend time with the man that helped break up my family […]
‘I Can’t Talk to My Kids About Their Father’
Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]
In-House Separation, She Won’t Move Out
Dear Chump Lady, Last September my wife of 17 years and 3 kids, informed me she had had an affair with the headmaster of our youngest daughter’s school. I had recognised my wife had been unhappy for some time and was asking her why, I had suggested that if it was me making her unhappy […]
What Did You Do With the Photos?
You are the curator of your own history, so I’m curious — what artifacts have stayed and what’s gone? Or is it all moldering in the back of a closet somewhere? One of the hardest things to do after a divorce and the decimation of a shared history, is go through the photos. There you […]
He’ll Send Support If She’ll Send Naked Pictures
Hi Chump Lady, Thanks so much for your blog that always keeps me on track. I have been no contact for 6 months. The peace has been amazing. A few days ago I had to have contact. He found out I had filed for divorce 6 months ago and knew the date it would be […]
Who Filed for Divorce?
One thing that I always find striking about the chump experience is that chumps are usually the ones who file for divorce. I don’t have any hard numbers on this, but judging on the stories shared here, I’d say 9 out of 10 times it’s the chump who files. And that includes people who are […]
Infidelity, Divorce, Kids — How Did You Navigate It?
Hi Chump Lady, I wish I would have found your site a decade ago.. alas spilled milk… I’m in a 19 year marriage to a selfish/self centered woman who I chumpily still love. 13 years ago she found an affair partner online that I found out about. We went to counseling and “reconciled”… Since then […]
He Left Me. Why Won’t He Agree to a Divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, How do you deal with a fuckwit who won’t do the things necessary to separate from you? On the very rare times I’ve seen my ex (child drop offs), he says under this breath, “we need to separate NOW!”, like he means business. So, I think to myself, “Yep, couldn’t agree more.” […]
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