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He Walked Out for OW But Doesn’t Want a Divorce

January 11, 2021 by Chump Lady

cake

Dear Chump Lady, My story begins four years ago. My narcissist had an emotional affair with a much younger (30 years..) girl at the local amateur dramatic group. Initially, they were just ‘drawn to one another’ after acting together in a play. He started flossing, shaving, taking his phone to the bathroom and changing his […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Divorce, Pick me dance Tagged With: cake eating, divorce, dragging out divorce 118 Comments

‘Replaced’ and Still Feels Empty

December 14, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I was married for almost 30 years, have one now grown daughter, and I’m in my 60s. I managed to survive serial cheating and lots of other abuse. My daughter and I were immediately replaced with a new younger OW and a younger OD (other daughter) and other dog! I got back […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life, Life post-cheater

What Happens to Couple Friends After Divorce?

December 3, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post divorce after discovering my ex-wife’s infidelity in September 2013. This holiday season my children (12, 8) are with my ex-wife abroad with her affair partner on holiday with my ex in-laws. It sucks that my kids spend time with the man that helped break up my family […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Switzerland Friends Tagged With: Switzerland Friends, Taking sides

‘I Can’t Talk to My Kids About Their Father’

September 15, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Children and infidelity, co-parenting with a fuckwit, Divorce Tagged With: Abandonment, co-parenting with a fuckwit

In-House Separation, She Won’t Move Out

September 8, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Last September my wife of 17 years and 3 kids, informed me she had had an affair with the headmaster of our youngest daughter’s school. I had recognised my wife had been unhappy for some time and was asking her why, I had suggested that if it was me making her unhappy […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Limbo, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Living together while separated

What Did You Do With the Photos?

July 17, 2020 by Chump Lady

You are the curator of your own history, so I’m curious — what artifacts have stayed and what’s gone? Or is it all moldering in the back of a closet somewhere? One of the hardest things to do after a divorce and the decimation of a shared history, is go through the photos. There you […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Gain a life Tagged With: Memories, Photos

He’ll Send Support If She’ll Send Naked Pictures

June 4, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady, Thanks so much for your blog that always keeps me on track. I have been no contact for 6 months. The peace has been amazing. A few days ago I had to have contact. He found out I had filed for divorce 6 months ago and knew the date it would be […]

Filed Under: Divorce, No contact, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: exortion, Revenge porn

Who Filed for Divorce?

May 29, 2020 by Chump Lady

One thing that I always find striking about the chump experience is that chumps are usually the ones who file for divorce. I don’t have any hard numbers on this, but judging on the stories shared here, I’d say 9 out of 10 times it’s the chump who files. And that includes people who are […]

Filed Under: Divorce Tagged With: deciding to divorce, dragging out divorce

Infidelity, Divorce, Kids — How Did You Navigate It?

May 22, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady, I wish I would have found your site a decade ago.. alas spilled milk… I’m in a 19 year marriage to a selfish/self centered woman who I chumpily still love. 13 years ago she found an affair partner online that I found out about. We went to counseling and “reconciled”… Since then […]

Filed Under: Children and infidelity, Divorce Tagged With: Children and infidelity

He Left Me. Why Won’t He Agree to a Divorce?

April 22, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, How do you deal with a fuckwit who won’t do the things necessary to separate from you? On the very rare times I’ve seen my ex (child drop offs), he says under this breath, “we need to separate NOW!”, like he means business. So, I think to myself, “Yep, couldn’t agree more.” […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Divorce Tagged With: cake eating, dragging out divorce, withholding

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