ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life!

When You Don’t Want to Spend Thanksgiving with Your Ex

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Dear Chump Lady, The holidays are coming and I was just wondering how to deal with the soon-to-be-ex (STBX) and holiday get-togethers. I actually thought we could stay on friendly terms since we have kids together and we will be seeing each other time to time. I really wanted it to be less painful for […]

Is Breaking Up 4 Years After D-Day ‘Overreacting’?

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Dear Chump Lady, I recently discovered your book and am about half way through it… D-Day was 4 years ago and I went through everything you mentioned a chump would do. Therapy with the FW, being understanding for the role I played in the infidelity, and even uprooted myself back to his hometown so he […]

Kick Me Out of My Funk

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Hello Chump Lady, Can you give me some pearls of wisdom (or a swift kick in the pants) to get out of my funk? It’s been almost 5 years since D-day. Married for 24 years at D-day, together for 26, almost 30 years together at divorce. I found out (for sure) Yahoo was cheating from […]

I Don’t Miss Him — Is There Something Wrong with Me?

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Dear Chump Lady, I just walked away from a 17-year marriage. He admitted to his second one-night stand in our marriage. I’m not chumpy enough to think there wasn’t more. He thinks because “It was just one night. A whole year ago!” and “It’s been 10 years since he last slipped up” that he somehow […]

Enough with Divorce Shame

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My cousin got divorced yesterday and I noticed today on her Facebook page that she wrote a very kind thank you to her friends and family who helped her through this difficult “journey.” She didn’t mention what that journey was — divorce. Several people wrote “You’re in my prayers,” and “hugs” and other supportive kind things, a few […]

‘I Can’t Face Being a Single Mum’

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Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been thinking about writing to you for months but I just haven’t been brave enough… I found out in April 2020 that my husband was having an affair with a woman he worked with for 6 months. I think going into lockdown in March had driven him mad and not getting […]

Don’t Send It, Three Reasons Why

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Psssst! I have a little secret to lay on you…. People are not interested in your messy divorce. Okay, maybe your parents and closest friend. Certainly it sucks for your children. But the rest of humanity? I’m sorry. They do not care for the particulars. I know how unjust this is, especially if you’ve been cheated […]

Can I Tell His Family He Cheated?

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Dear Chump Lady, My STBX informed me two weeks before Quarantine Thanksgiving that we had to talk. I shut the lid of my laptop and asked, “What do you want to talk about? Do you want to watch something together?” (I was deep into an episode of something that he hated.) He said, “I want […]

He Walked Out for OW But Doesn’t Want a Divorce

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Dear Chump Lady, My story begins four years ago. My narcissist had an emotional affair with a much younger (30 years..) girl at the local amateur dramatic group. Initially, they were just ‘drawn to one another’ after acting together in a play. He started flossing, shaving, taking his phone to the bathroom and changing his […]