Connecting with Other Chumps?

One of the very best things about running this blog is that people occasionally send me their chump meet-up photos. Even better, they tell me how they gained that new life. Want to meet some mighty? Check this out from “indomitablechump”:

Through the power of your website, I was able to connect with four other chumps here in Toronto in the fall of 2016; it saved my sanity, really. I was still in the throes of a nasty separation negotiation with a king size F**kwit who was dialled in full on the rage channel.  Three of the other four were just as shell-shocked as me and we took turns sharing stories and strategies for getting a life. We met for dinner once a month or so and I usually ended up in tears at these early dinners. It was a super scary time for me and I was so afraid for the safety of my children.

Happy news – my separation agreement was signed last November and the divorce decree was issued in May. I write to you from my own home. Oh my God, it feels good.  Our group of five chumps has grown to fourteen and ten of us had a lovely backyard dinner party at Amerti1962’s (chump) place.  I should mention that it is her place because she fired her useless lawyer this spring and successfully finished the negotiations herself including getting ownership of her long-time home. This from the Amerti1962 whom I met two years ago who was dazed and confused, utterly devastated, lost and unbearably sad. She could hardly get dressed in the morning, had no job, no lawyer and couldn’t get her shit together. You should see this mighty chump now.

Not since my days at university long ago have I felt such support from a group of disparate people whom I would not have met any other way. We are powerfully connected by our divorce experiences and have drawn enormous strength from each other –  advising, strategizing,  and consoling. We all speak chump speak at these gatherings and you would be so very proud of how these shattered women have all strapped their boots back on and got their lives back after some truly awful chump experiences.

I AM SO PROUD!!!

You have no idea! I get weepy when I get a letter like this. I am so. freaking. HAPPY you all found each other!

The point of building this site was that there would be the sort of site I wish existed when I went through infidelity. I got a ton of support from other chumps I met online then, but ALL the sites were predicated on reconciliation — and the friends I met there all wound up like I did, divorced and much happier for it.

It thrills me no end to think people are making new friends from this site. Today I want to hear about your chump friendships. Have you gone to a meet-up? Do you have some chump friends in real life?

Every day the world mints new chumps. Indomitablechump writes:

And there  are “incoming” as they used to say in M*A*S*H.  Someone saw my meet-up posting from last November and reached out to me the other day.  Thanks to you, we are all looking out for each other.

Thanks for looking out for each other, CN! Tell me about it!

TGIF!

Subscribe
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

254 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Mr. Chump Lady
Mr. Chump Lady
5 years ago

I’ve met countless chumps since my D-days. All of them thoughtful, resilient, and kind. Even married one of them.

Best. Decision. EVER. ????

MushroomCloud
MushroomCloud
5 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chump Lady

I haven’t met any IRL yeah but I really want to! I’m in the Los Angeles, California area. posted on some of the forums about meetups and I’m hoping something can come together soon.

Complete idiot chump
Complete idiot chump
5 years ago
Reply to  MushroomCloud

I’m in Long Beach 714 488 5802

Complete idiot chump
Complete idiot chump
5 years ago

Long Beach, California I would love to meet with other chumps!

Rabbit007
Rabbit007
5 years ago
Reply to  MushroomCloud

Mushroom, where part of LA ? I’m in Santa Barbara area,I have not met any chump here but I would love to meet some chumps and swap stories about our lives. I find it healing and knowing I’m not the only one.

Survivor
Survivor
5 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chump Lady

I too married a chump this go around. I highly recommend it!

Complete idiot chump
Complete idiot chump
5 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Where is this forum? How do you get to it? Anyone anyone? 714 488 5802 please call or text me and tell me how. Thank you

BeenThereandWasAChump
BeenThereandWasAChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chump Lady

I would love to meet up with fellow Chumps in Southwestern or Western Kansas. I posted on the forum but the couple who answered are half way across the state. I’m sure they are out there, just don’t know how to reach them.

I read this blog every day and am both amazed by the resiliency of the Chumps here and horrified by the things said and done to them. All you Chumps are mighty and have helped me realize his cheating has nothing to do with me; they would rather run away than fix the damage; it’s a character issue; and that I wasn’t crazy or stupid, but gas lighted.

Much love and many hugs to all of you!!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
5 years ago
Reply to  Mr. Chump Lady

You guys rock 🙂

Kintsugi
Kintsugi
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

????????????????

Rebecca
Rebecca
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Paul is totally the best!!!

Mandie101
Mandie101
5 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Lol! Ace! May you both grow old together.

Unexpectedchumpiness
Unexpectedchumpiness
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Look at you two.

WIN!!!

????

Jodi Lynch
Jodi Lynch
5 years ago

Fucking A!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
5 years ago

No physical meetups yet, but I am in a mostly chump filled Facebook support group. We were chatting about where we live and doing a meetup. I got a message from someone in the group – she recognized my daughter from my profile pic because, drumroll… she went on a few dates with my ex. ???????? He had impression management dialed up and showed her pictures of our kids. It only took her a few days what it took me 17 years to figure out.
Still hoping to meet up with Ky chumps this summer. ❤️

MomRN76
MomRN76
5 years ago

Hey Kentucky Chumps! I am in Louisville and open to a meet up 🙂

twiceachump
twiceachump
5 years ago
Reply to  MomRN76

In Lexington. I’m happy to meet there or midway somewhere!

Lyn
Lyn
5 years ago
Reply to  twiceachump

Bluegrass area as well!

NotMyFault
NotMyFault
5 years ago
Reply to  twiceachump

Anyone from Connecticut?

JamLady
JamLady
5 years ago
Reply to  NotMyFault

Yes, Bridgeport area!

NotMyFault
NotMyFault
5 years ago
Reply to  JamLady

Me too! How can we meet?

Arnold
Arnold
5 years ago
Reply to  NotMyFault

I grew up in Milford, CT. Now live in MN.

DivineComedy
DivineComedy
5 years ago

Also Louisvilleflower, I am from Kentucky as well! Paducah!

Newme
Newme
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

Louisville! I WOULD LOVe to meet up!

NOMORECOUCHSLUG
NOMORECOUCHSLUG
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

I am almost in KY…west TN. Not too far from Paducah. Have not met anyone nearby yet…and i am geographically close (an hour or less drive) to KY, MO, AR, and MS (and kinda north AL) where I am at.

IHaveHate
IHaveHate
5 years ago

MO here!

Carol
Carol
5 years ago

Hello from Versailles!

twiceachump
twiceachump
5 years ago
Reply to  Carol

Lexington!

katiedidnt
katiedidnt
5 years ago

@Louisvilleflower- I am in Berea and have met up with some mighty wonderful fellow chumps in Lexington. We will definitely have to coordinate and meet up again and you would be most welcome!

PS: Your ex sounds like a monster from the same tribe as my STBX. What a jerk.

DivineComedy
DivineComedy
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Don’t get me started! My stbx used our 5yo son as date bate (and our dog!) I was horrified! He would take our son to work (OW is his coworker) and also to the park with the two of them.

I don’t understand it! Showing off our son like he is a new toy while STBX feigns “Daddy of the year”

Makes me sick!

CC
CC
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

Ugh. My ex did this. Drove me nuts that the women at his work seemed to have this weird fascination with our daughter. I couldn’t figure it out. I’ve worked with plenty of men and never begged them to bring their children to a company gathering that their wife wasn’t invited to.
Ah hindsight.

Harlequin
Harlequin
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

When my stbx left he set up a Facebook account for the first time. His profile picture is of him holding our cat (who he abandoned along with me) outside our holiday home (which he is now using to try and extract money from me). Makes me sick.

maw
maw
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

Yep! My stbx used MY dog as his Tinder profile picture. I found it in my investigative phase and nearly fell over.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  maw

Maybe he should have used a picture of a dog’s ass, would have been more accurate!

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

That was a red flag for her! (And the fact that he only talked about himself ????) He kept telling her what a great dad he was. AND that he had just voluntarily moved 2 hours away from his kids to take a different job. ????
I did get my lawyer to make him take pictures of the kids off of his dating profile, because that is public, but I can’t stop him from sharing them. Gross.

DivineComedy
DivineComedy
5 years ago

Also Louisvilleflower, I am from Kentucky as well!

Nobody2U
Nobody2U
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

I am a kentucky chump as well. I am not originally from here and i truly have no friends now except my kids. I became a stay at home mom and wasnt allowed to have friends or money to go anywhere even if I did. Would love to meet all of you. The old me was a social butterfly..

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
5 years ago
Reply to  Nobody2U

If there’s one term that simply infuriates me to the point of bloody murder, it’s “…I wasn’t allowed…”. GAHHH. How dare someone tell their spouse that they are not “allowed” to have friends, or to go somewhere, or to deprive them of a financial amount to allow them to go have coffee with others? Of course, this is not to say that a spouse should be encouraged to be a cheater, but good grief, there is a happy medium.

I would consider that phrase to be a grounds for divorce, just like being a victim of domestic violence. I used the motto: “the first time is the last time” as a guideline for divorce, and it was a good thing.

I hope you are making friends, in the community and your church of choice.

DrFormerChump
DrFormerChump
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

I’m in KY a lot, also.

Unexpectedchumpiness
Unexpectedchumpiness
5 years ago

Louisville, that’s hilarious about the other chump and your ex!!! But also a good testament to the fact that we can call this shit out on the next ones after we’ve been chumped and are now oh-so-much less chumpy right from the beginning! Good for her! And I’m sure it validates you too 🙂

Louisvilleflower
Louisvilleflower
5 years ago

She has definitely fixed her picker. I’m in awe of her. I told my sisters about her and they said “She’s smart! Hang out with her and learn from her!” ????

UXworld
UXworld
5 years ago

This past spring, three fellow Chumps whom I met through this site sat at a table with some of my relatives and friends and watched me tell part of my DDay story on stage, in front of a live audience . . . and then witnessed my fuckwit ex get on the same stage and talk about having “the BEST.SEX.I’VE.EVER.HAD” with her porkpie-hat-wearing AP (also in the audience) on the first night they met, nine days after I told her we were getting divorced.

Support doesn’t get much better than that.

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Is KK competing in the Biggest Dirtbag competition? Because she wins!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
5 years ago
Reply to  Golfgrrl

I cannot imagine getting up in public and talking about my sex life. Unless i was a professional comedian and making it up to be funny. And even then….just no.

AB
AB
5 years ago
Reply to  Golfgrrl

I agree – I feel like all KK stories ooze out from the screen. She sounds like a wannabe Elizabeth Gilbert type cheater

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

This reminds me of https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fOmwkTrW4OQ

Great series! I highly recommend it.

Way to be mighty UX

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
5 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Link is not working for me. What is the name of the series?

Chumptopia
Chumptopia
5 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

I had so much fun watching this series. It won a Golden Globe. I can’t wait for more of it.

UXworld
UXworld
5 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

OMFG yes — a fantastic series. Incredibly funny and gets to the heart of what we all experience with our cheaters.

MamaMeh
MamaMeh
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Oooh just watched the trailer and so looking forward to getting into that! Thanks for heads-up GaB

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
5 years ago
Reply to  MamaMeh

+1, that series was terrific – wish they’d do another season

Kar marie
Kar marie
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

I went to one chump meet up in alabama. It was great! But i have made a life long friend my sister from another mother in jeep tess. A been through hell and back chump who has helped me back to me. I would not be here today if not for you tracy and chump nation. I am externally grateful!!!!

JeepTess
JeepTess
5 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

((((Kar marie))) 🙂

JeepTess
JeepTess
5 years ago
Reply to  JeepTess

We are all so lucky to have found such amazing and life saving support from each other! Thank you for being there!

unicornomore
unicornomore
5 years ago

I met up with Patsy in South Africa and we jumped around in the Indian Ocean …I took a selfie I sent her and in it we are both SO HAPPY..I later sent it to her with the caption “Neither of our former husbands are as happy as we are.”

I had been to the Chumpapalooza and and Patsy asked “What is Tempest like?”

“She is tall, attractive, poised, intelligent, well-spoken, kind, funny …”

“So it really wasn’t about us, was it?”

“No, it had nothing to do with us”

Shechump
Shechump
5 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

That is the FIRST thing I noticed about meeting our group in Oz. Every single person was warm, kind, attractive, funny and intelligent. It was stunning to realize it and it should not have surprised me one iota. These are the faces of chumps.

Cuzchump
Cuzchump
5 years ago

Ironically since I found out that my STBX was cheating on me with my cousin. I ran into another cousin that I did not see for 30 years. We were very close as children. She too was cheated on my her STBX and we started to talk and go away together. She has helped me so much. Us chumps understand how it feels to be cheated on and betrayed by those we thought would never hurt us. So ironic one cousin assisted in ruining my life as I knew it. And another cousin was there for me in my darkest hours.

Rickb89
Rickb89
5 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Hey. My ex broke up my family by sleeping with my cousin as well LOL thought I was the only one!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
5 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

My XH the substance abuser is miserable and increasingly paranoid and vindictive, thanks to 60 years of drinking and drugs. Jackass removed his employment from his FB page but he is never happy anyway. He knows he’s an asshole. So no–it never was about us.

Setmefree
Setmefree
5 years ago

I met some Sydney chumps at the OZ meet up when CL came to OZ in May 2018. I have been to dinner and from there met another chump who had a lovely dinner party and invited me and I met another 8 chumps. We sat around that dinner table and we shared our stories and had a wonderful night. Never would have met any of these ladies thank you from the bottom of my heart CL ….

Arlo
Arlo
5 years ago
Reply to  Setmefree

I’m a Sydney chump too.. love to be part of a catch up. Probably met some of you at the Newcastle workshop.

Vastra
Vastra
5 years ago
Reply to  Arlo

Zhuchi was going to set up an email contact list for Chumps from the Newcastle seminar

MamaMeh
MamaMeh
5 years ago
Reply to  Setmefree

I couldn’t get to Newcastle – is there a way I can meet the Sydney crew? Do u have something in the forums?

Setmefree
Setmefree
5 years ago
Reply to  MamaMeh

Please email Tempest – she will place you on the aussie mailing list where we can get in contact.

Bluewren
Bluewren
5 years ago
Reply to  Setmefree

How do we email? I’m in Australia and not sure how all this works.

Arlo
Arlo
5 years ago
Reply to  MamaMeh

I’m a Sydney chump too.. love to be part of a catch up. Probably met some of you at the Newcastle workshop.

Shechump
Shechump
5 years ago
Reply to  MamaMeh

SetMeFree – I feel the same way and so thankful I took the opportunity to go. So what that it was a mere 11,217 crow miles from here to there! (detour through HKong) . It was worth every moment I spent with my fellow chumps and I immediately felt so warm and welcome, knowing almost everyone in the room had been through a similar ordeal as I. I wish I could go back and do it all again!

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
5 years ago
Reply to  Shechump

Hi SheChump! Couldn’t agree more! Wish we could do it all over again!!!!

I had the best time in Newcastle, meeting fellow chumps. It was so enjoyable, empowering, a great experience all round! I was the only one who came over from Perth. I know there are others who would have liked to come but couldn’t/didn’t. I would really love to start up a group in Perth/metro WA area, but don’t know how to connect. I’ll try through the forum and see how I go. Xx

Annabel
Annabel
5 years ago

I would join a Perth group!

Whodoesthat
Whodoesthat
5 years ago

Hi im in perth too. I have felt like im the furtherest away from anyone…but its good to know there is someone else in the same boat !

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
5 years ago
Reply to  Whodoesthat

WhoDoesThat – wanna meet up? I put a post in the meet-up forum.

Shechump
Shechump
5 years ago
Reply to  Whodoesthat

I visited Perth a few years ago. What a great, hospitable place. I could live there.

Shechump
Shechump
5 years ago

AIRPORT! Hi!! I had the BESTEST time with you and I’m sorry I couldn’t understand a word you said. I’m Canadian and fast talking, but you are so much quicker! My family would be impressed. You are impressive by your spirit, laughter, joy, spunk, snark, sexy, great story-teller, comedian! The list goes on. I need to re-connect with everybody. A wonderful lady offered to tour me around Sydney before I left and I lost her contact somehow. Carolyn Baker (that’s what I call her) is going to come here and visit. I hope everybody I met and was so gracious and hospitable to me will come and visit. It was one of the best time in my life!

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
5 years ago
Reply to  Shechump

Hehehe, sorry about my strong West-Coast (aka, country hick) accent. I don’t think the East-Coasters can even understand my accent at times, so don’t worry, haha!

I had so much fun with you too!! Amazing baker lady is coming to visit you?! When? That’ll be a fun visit! Would love to visit your part of the world, some day. I hope you have found some fun, awesome chumps in your area that you can have coffee, cake and a good laugh with. I miss our fun already xx

Shechump
Shechump
5 years ago

Airport – did you know that you and I are about as far away on the globe that is possible? I’m west coast America. You are west coast Oz. That’s what makes visiting so much fun. Nothing planned yet with Baker but she’s dealing w/things. I have NO chumps in my area anywhere, so that’s why I’m still here all.the.time. lol

Shechump
Shechump
5 years ago
Reply to  Shechump

IN FACT! The divorce turned out to be a great thing being as how I never would have met these fellow comrades otherwise.

I know absolutely nobody in real life that has been cheated on, that I know of, believe or not.
But, that is probably because I was pretty smug in my own marriage and wouldn’t have been able to relate if somebody did tell me.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago

okay, I have tried to post this for now three times and everytime I get close to submitting it kicks me back to Facebook so I’m not happy right now….trying to post this.before I get moving for the day .
Here in L.A. (Lower Alabama), I’ve met up.with chumps.once IRL
I spent an amazing weekend last year meeting chump’s in real life at a lovely chump’s home who open her home up for all of us to visit for the weekend! And the caawwwfffeeee wasn’t bad either!!! Hahaha!!!
Meeting fellow chump’s in real life is so affirming or reaffirming that my struggle is not mine alone that everyone in Chump Nation shares the same struggle on the basic level Although our paths Journeys and experiences vary
I also started a GroupMe chat room for chumps in which I have become super super close with a couple other Chumps. I wouldn’t trade those friendships for the world!
I’m on Facebook as a member of many infidelity support groups, as well as chump Nation on Facebook
It has been 3 years now, and I’m still here – so that I can continue growing in my healing and recovery and also potentially be a light for others to follow a path with me
this chump life is not easy but it is what it is and I’m here now and I’m thriving surviving or at least trying to on a daily level and I wouldn’t be anywhere close to where I am now without the mighty mighty chump Nation
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ok, send post cawfee

Aimee
Aimee
5 years ago

I’m lower AL too, East side. I would be interested in meeting some fellow chumps!

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago
Reply to  Aimee

Aimee,
Email me at mollyflynn89@gmail.com and we’ll get this party started!!!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
5 years ago

Yes, I can confirm that all should try to hear dear Molly say “caaaaaffeeee” at some point! Lol!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
5 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Wait, no, spelled it wrong… it’s “caawwwfffeee”!

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Nikki Lynn,
Lol, but the way you say, “stare that mutha f***3r down” is just too good!!????????????????

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
5 years ago

We need THAT as a ring tone!!!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

Hahahahaha!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Yasss!

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
5 years ago

Say what you will about ‘bama, but we have MOLLY!!!!!

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Roll Tide, Dixie!!!
You make a great cuppa caaawwwfffeeee!!!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Dixie, right there with Molly…..you hit the lottery!

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Right back at ya, NoMoreSkankBoy!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

XOXOXOX!

Bluetrace
Bluetrace
5 years ago

Unsinkable Molly- I’m also in lower Alabama! I’d love to know more and be in future meet ups!

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago
Reply to  Bluetrace

Bluetrace,
Email me at mollyflynn89@gmail.com for more details!!!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago

Loved meeting all the chumps in AL and you have such great energy and super sense of humor, MollyX!

AussieChump
AussieChump
5 years ago

I have wonderful friends and an amazing, supportive family. However, Chump Nation gets me like no other group of people. CN knows that inner turmoil and searing pain that I have felt since Dday.

I met a CN member late last year and she has been an absolute god-send! Late night texts of desperation, bawling phone calls, innumerable amounts of good advice.

Through this Chump, I have been part of a couple of CN meet-ups and met some mighty people in all different stages of recovery. I’m looking forward to many more meet-ups ????

Amerti1962
Amerti1962
5 years ago

So proud, happy to be part of this group!
Thank you indomitable chump for your kind words!
I sign over the house to me today.

Now it’s our turn to pay it forward and help others…….

Chumpedincanada
Chumpedincanada
5 years ago
Reply to  Amerti1962

Amerti1962, I also want to say a big thank you for your warm hospitality and as devastating as our situations have been, the common thread I observed shining in all of us that met, was the will to overcome….

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
5 years ago

I’m thanking Amerti1962 for just being a strong badass chump, even though I don’t know her. Rock on!

NorthChump
NorthChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Amerti1962

Thank you Amerti1962 for hosting us at YOUR home! I am so grateful to have met these wonderful women. Thank Heavens for CL and her hard work in creating this world of warmth and support. Indomitable Chump was my first IRL meet and I knew from that moment on that I had people in my corner. You ladies rock! And to every person on this site – you are Mighty. Some days are better than others but at all times, you are Mighty! Much love to you all.

bouncing back
bouncing back
5 years ago

Recently met IRL bales of laughter. EU chumps!

Hellhathnofurygoddess
Hellhathnofurygoddess
5 years ago

Since I’ve started dating over 2 years ago, I’ve met a few people still struggling with being cheated on. It became clear we’re not good matches due to them needing to heal, but I get it, the pain, loneliness, mindfuck, ect. I have recommended CL and a few other blogs that have helped me get to a better place. Pay it forward. Be kind. Every little kindness from strangers during my dark time I will never forget.

Newlady15
Newlady15
5 years ago

Congrats indomitable!! I remember the few dinners I had with all of you. Way to gain a life. It’s good to get together to swap notes. Yes we were all shell shocked that’s for sure. My own divorce was final last June. I’m on to that gaining a life thing too. Sold the matrimonial home and took on a fixer upper. It’s pretty much all fixed I now. He is in my rear view mirror. I’m not completely at meh—still get angry and sad sometimes over my destroyed life but I have my family.. me and my kids. ((((Hugs))))

Rebecca
Rebecca
5 years ago

Meeting CL in real life in NYC set me on a CN path that I cherish. This was pre-book so I’m dating myself. She and everyone here has been a lifeline and I hang around for myself and the newbies.
I have tried so hard to find other members of CN for real meetings – I’m in NY so you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard – but nothing so far.
Love to host a weekend! Pool, BBQ, drinks and tissues included ????

ChumpYOU,MoFo
ChumpYOU,MoFo
5 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Hey, I’m in Jersey City and would love to meet up! Let’s make it happen. There must be zillions of us in the NYC metro area….

Rebecca
Rebecca
5 years ago
Reply to  ChumpYOU,MoFo

Go to the Forum and you will see that I posted my cell number. Text me and we will make it happen!

ChumpYOU,MoFo
ChumpYOU,MoFo
5 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

I can’t get in the forum! I have registered but it never logs me in. I will keep trying…

Liz C.
Liz C.
5 years ago

Any Nashville area chumps in our group? I’d love to grab a coffee with y’all sometime.

This is literally the first website I log into when I get to work every day. You guys help me so much. I struggle with being codependent (what chump doesn’t?) and have found it very hard to just be with myself since my marriage fell apart. Chump nation reminds me that even though I haven’t got a spouse or partner, I am definitely not alone, and I am enough to be with, all by myself.

Thank you all so much.

NOMORECOUCHSLUG
NOMORECOUCHSLUG
5 years ago
Reply to  Liz C.

I am in west TN! About 2 hours from Nashville. I come to Nashville for work or Dr. appts every now and then. I used to live in Clarksville where I went to college.

Liz C.
Liz C.
5 years ago

And if you went to APSU, then I can tell you GO PEAY! (I am an APSU alum myself).

NOMORECOUCHSLUG
NOMORECOUCHSLUG
5 years ago
Reply to  Liz C.

Let’s go Peay! Where? Behind a big tree!

Or my favorite (from the ’70’s)- Fly’s open, Let’s GO PEAY!

I am about 2.5 hours from Clarksville now…close to Jackson. I moved home after I graduated quite a few years ago. I do try to get up that way every now and then I am still in contact with a male friend up there. He is a chump also.

Get on the forums, and let’s see if we can go through someone and exchange emails…..

Liz C.
Liz C.
5 years ago

Definitely!

Liz C.
Liz C.
5 years ago

That’s awesome! I’m in the Clarksville area–my ex is a soldier, so I’m living the stereotype 😉

Maybe we can coordinate something sometime!

Kfindingmyway
Kfindingmyway
5 years ago
Reply to  Liz C.

I’m just a little south of Nashville.
I would love a meet up.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago

I made friends from this site I just spent some beach time with that are near and dear to me! Family and FFL they fill me up, and time with them is so nurturing. You ladies are amazing in every way.

They are an extraordinary support system! ????

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

NWHI, it was fun, wasn’t it. It was great to see old friends and meet new ones. All beautiful woman, inside and out! I swear we chumps have missed our calling being standup comedians talking about the scumbag exes. But then again, there is a great deal of material they have given us to work with. Idiots!

JeanM
JeanM
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Simply the Best!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

NMSB, you are hilarious (but I already knew that). And strong and wise. Was so good to meet you IRL!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Nikki Lynn, I had written a response earlier but the demons from the internet ate them! I just felt an instant bond with you! Thank you for sharing your story. You are an incredibly articulate woman and what strength. I am thankful I had the opportunity to have met you!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Yes!!! And you, my friend, have a huge heart. It’s so fun to spend time with you!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

Thank you all for inviting me and letting me crash there. I can’t remember laughing that hard. Dixie, you have me wanting to spend more time with God’s creatures and the beautiful outdoors. It awakened something in me that I had long forgotten. Thank you.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Laughter is the best medicine by far! And adding a dear friend to my life is most special. Love you all. ????

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago

Lots of love to all the local Tampabay chumps! Couldn’t have made it through without you! ????

Unexpectedchumpiness
Unexpectedchumpiness
5 years ago

I’m a newly chumped Tampa Bay chump! I was just thinking yesterday that I needed some fellow chumpy friends!!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

We have fabulous group here in the Tampa Bay area. We’ve all had our shots so we are good to go! We would love to meet you.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Warning: NMSB may bring her purple thong to wipe the bar down. Ask me how I know! And you’d better mind the tip jar!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

You’ll find us all under Chump Meet-ups: Clearwater, St. Pete, Tampa FL. We usually meet every 4-6 weeks.

unexpectedchumpiness
unexpectedchumpiness
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Yes!! Yes need to figure out how to get ahold of you on the forum.

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

I can agree (having just met them)–Tampa Bay area Chumps rock!

JeanM
JeanM
5 years ago

We are here for you,

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago

We’re here for you. Big hugs

Beth
Beth
5 years ago

I have a very close group of friends who I met through the Sisterhood of Support site in 2012 after DDay #2. I learned of Chump Lady from them and most/all of them are members of Chump Nation too. I have met a couple of them IRL and will meet more over Labor Day weekend when we attend the wedding of one of our group in Oregon. Meeting them in person is an incredibly emotional experience. We saved each other. We held hands and walked through hell together. To be able to thank them and give them a hug in person after years of virtual hugs is priceless.

I had my first Chump meet up last fall when Metamorphosis was doing her cross country trip. We met for dinner and it was great to see in person someone I’d gotten to know through CN. She is lovely and smart and talented and meeting her made me realize how utterly stupid these fucktards are to let such quality people slip through their fingers. If you ever need a reminder that infidelity has NOTHING to do with any failings on your part and EVERYTHING to do with a lack of character on the cheater’s part, meet with a fellow Chump and see how spectacular they are. It’s eye opening.

Mehtamorphosis
Mehtamorphosis
5 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Beth, I have been busy getting a life and not on CN much lately, but for some reason I felt like checking in tonight and glad I did to catch this thread. You and JeepTess were my first Chump friends when I stopped in Yellow Springs and made a huge difference on my Road Trip to Meh. All the things you say about me, I say right back at you. You are lovely and smart and talented — as are all of the chumps I’ve met.

Doingme
Doingme
5 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Isn’t it the truth Beth. By far meeting Chumps confirmed cheaters are Not right in the head.

THat says a lot given our initial instinct is to invest more.

And seeing the actions of cheaters IRL and on these pages allows us to see we’re not alone. WE CAN put our super ttraits to better use supporting one another. Meeting Chumps in person, priceless.

Fern
Fern
5 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Great comment Beth. What a wonderful point you make -so hard to see it when in the middle of the shitstorm.

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
5 years ago

I’ve been lucky to have so much support, however most has come not from chumps but from regular folks who have seen the chump dynamic.

Wish I knew more chumps IRL. In my experience, chumps are everywhere!….BUT they don’t want to talk about what happened in their past, and so you don’t always know that they’re chumps. I haven’t found a healthy group of people yet who are openly admitting their chump experience. Maybe I’ll browse the meetups….. 🙂

rainy
rainy
5 years ago

…hoping to connect with the Toronto Chumps. I have been on this site for a couple of months. I ‘m only 7 months out, 4 from DDay#2, trying to get my life back together after 24 yr marriage, and 30 years together. We were supposed to start our early retirement, traveling the world, he left a week before his 60th birthday. Now I know that he had been serially cheating for the last 5 years, and after initial denial of anyone else, he is now with OW who is 20 years younger, he had been cheating with her for at least a year. Struggling these days, the sadness and pain is overwhelming some days. He was my family, my best friend and he became a stranger. Longing for closure and some help from local Chumps.

Mitz
Mitz
5 years ago
Reply to  rainy

I am 2 hours from TO. Would love to meet up with a fellow travel enthusiast!

Indomitable
Indomitable
5 years ago
Reply to  rainy

Hi Rainy
I got your email. Your story sounds alot like mine (except throw in lots of prostitutes for more colour). I am leaving on vacation today so one of my fellow Toronto chumps will be reaching out to you. Sounds like you just got rid of a f**kwit. Big chumpy (((HUGS))).

chumpluscious
chumpluscious
5 years ago
Reply to  Indomitable

I was in touch with Indomitable too. I live in Toronto and would love to join. CL and CN has been a big part of my progress (not there yet).

Typhoon
Typhoon
5 years ago
Reply to  chumpluscious

Hi to the other Toronto chumps!

I’m “Typhoon” and this is my first time posting. I’m about six months from the final D-day (there have been many). I read CL’s blog and archives almost every day and CN has been a tremendous source of support as well as an often needed smack-upside-my-head when I find myself feeling nostalgic about Mr Duplicity and his abuse ….

I saw Indomitable’s post in one of the forums about a meetup last November in Toronto and emailed her a few days ago. I’d love to get together with other Chumps where and when ever – sign me up!!

Typhoon

LongTimeChump
LongTimeChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Typhoon

Typhoon, maybe you can ask Tempest to connect us via email?

rainy
rainy
5 years ago
Reply to  Indomitable

….thanks for your quick response, Indomitable. Enjoy your holiday. I will look forward to meeting the mighty Toronto chumps, and get some support and help to get through the nightmare.
Reading the posts here has saved my sanity. Big hugs to all the chumps on this site.

TheBestMe
TheBestMe
5 years ago
Reply to  rainy

No real local but close enough for a meet up and always available to be part of your support system.

rainy
rainy
5 years ago
Reply to  TheBestMe

Thank you TheBestMe. I would love to meet up with you. Can use some advice and help. Been struggling this past week.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
5 years ago

I have had the honor and joy of meeting many fellow chumps in real life. I have the frequent flyer miles to prove it!! The support that I get from this blog and the forums is profound, yet it is those deep friendships that have truly enriched my soul and landed me firmly in Meh. The decades I gave to BAM were lonely and isolated … I wasted my energy and attention on someone who could not or would not reciprocate. It was difficult for this introverted lady to turn outward and actively seek meetups with others, but drastic times compelled me forward. BAM’s hideous behavior has gifted me with some of the dearest friends and I am most grateful. ????????????

JeanM
JeanM
5 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Dixie, it was really neat..
You ladies Rock!

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago

I haven’t yet but would LOVE to meet up with San Francisco Bay Area chumps. Thankfully (and tragically) I have about ten friends who have been chumped. I am starting to wonder if the RIC and the wedding industry are one and the same…

chumpintraining
chumpintraining
5 years ago

I’m in the SFBay area too and would love to meet other local chumps 🙂

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago

Novato…where are you?

maw
maw
5 years ago

I’m in SF. Would love to meet.

A few East Bay folks are having a first time meeting in Oakland July 22. I believe a walk/talk at Lake Merritt meeting at the columns near Grand Ave at 11:00am.

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago
Reply to  maw

See you there!!

TheBestMe
TheBestMe
5 years ago

Michigan chump here. I am 3 years out and now that the dust settled I found I am struggling with the thriving part. Sometimes I think this is the hardest part for the rest of the world to understand, the mending that is needed after the storm.

I have not seen any Michigan meetups, but I am always awed by the stories found on this and other infidelity sites with what the amazing sane and loving partner is able to accomplish. These are class acts and I am so proud to be one of the chumped instead of the disordered and shallow.

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
5 years ago
Reply to  TheBestMe

Michigan chump here, too….and also struggling with the thriving part, although I have accomplished a lot. It’s just taking more time than I’d like.

Rebecca
Rebecca
5 years ago
Reply to  LiningUpDucks

LiningUpDucks,
I’ve followed your story and you have come so much further than you give yourself credit for!
You’re doing GREAT!

Magneto
Magneto
5 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Detroiter chump here.

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
5 years ago

It was this time last year that I traveled to another state to meet-up with a group of chumps that I’d been conversing with in the forum. For me, it was the important next step to connect IRL (and at that time there were no meet-ups in my specific locale).

I place an extremely high value on my friendships with my chumps. In this short time I feel as close to them as my best friend of 30-plus years. Few people can really understand if they haven’t walked a similar path and the fact that we can quickly and easily speak “Chumplady” really helps (Trust they suck, 3 channels of mindful, no spakling, no kibbles, no cake etc.etc.) — it’s like we can talk in shorthand.

Dealing with this shit is difficult — it’s a long road and having/creating chump friendships makes the trek easier to handle.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
5 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

Truthfully, I have arrived at the point where I am grateful for the final D-day … it brought so much good into my life. It makes me cringe to picture myself still plodding along, uneasy about what might or might not be going on, and definitely neglected and lonely. FNEC is a huge factor in shifting my perspective … love my girl friends!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
5 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

” It makes me cringe to picture myself still plodding along, uneasy about what might or might not be going on…” This X 1000.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago
Reply to  Nikki Lynn

So true! And you are an amazing woman!

Bestill
Bestill
5 years ago

Hello setmefree! I was another lucky chump to enjoy the lovely meal recently with 8 other chumps. We plan to reconnect again. It was a great idea. The host invited people and asked them to invite other chumps. None of us knew more than one or two others so was a great opportunity to connect with new chumps.
I am now looking for a challenging ( but not too challenging- just want to carry a day pack) hike. Looking at retreats- too much laying about and some group hikes for women but think I want one with it some healing element. Not sure if they exist- we should start a chumphike! I’m in the Southern Hemisphere but if anyone has done a great one anywhere please share the details.

Expectations
Expectations
5 years ago
Reply to  Bestill

NZ or OZ?

Bestill
Bestill
5 years ago
Reply to  Expectations

Sydney. Come and visit!

lululemon
lululemon
5 years ago

Can I join the Toronto group?
I live in the GTA

LongTimeChump
LongTimeChump
5 years ago
Reply to  lululemon

Lululemon, go to the Toronto meetup and email indomitable.

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
5 years ago
Reply to  LongTimeChump

I’m in Kitchener, ON. May be able to do a Toronto meetup. What’s in the works?

LongTimeChump
LongTimeChump
5 years ago
Reply to  OptionNoMore

ONM, Email me. Ask Tempest to connect.

CC
CC
5 years ago

I would love to meet some MN (specifically Twin Cities) chumps!

Tall One
Tall One
5 years ago
Reply to  CC

I’m in!

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
5 years ago
Reply to  CC

I’m in Mankato…

Chumped but good
Chumped but good
5 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

I am in the twin cities and a meetup would be fun.

Nicelutherangirl
Nicelutherangirl
5 years ago
Reply to  CC

I missed this before I posted my own below, CC. Chumps of Hennepin/Ramsey Counties unite!

Mandie101
Mandie101
5 years ago

I’m here in the Caribbean. I haven’t met any chumps from CN but I recommend the site. God bless you all.

Anuthatch
Anuthatch
5 years ago

I am also fairly new to this site. As I posted on the meet up page. I am in the Atlanta area. I am more than willing to meet up with any local chumps!

ApparentlyAnIceQueen
ApparentlyAnIceQueen
5 years ago
Reply to  Anuthatch

I’m a couple hours from Atlanta. And, still married to it and still a Chump, while trying to plan and get my ducks in a row. If Atlanta every has a meet-up, I’d love to learn how to proceed without getting any more damaged and injured because I’m feeling pretty beat up right now. Playing marriage cop apparently is how I found this place and honestly, it’s getting to be too much.

ApparentlyAnIceQueen
ApparentlyAnIceQueen
5 years ago
Reply to  Anuthatch

I’m still a chump…but only a couple hours from Atlanta. I don’t post, because not only am I still married to it but not very far along in the process of getting it together to make my exit. I know that he occasionally snoops on my computer and phone to see what I know about his extracurriculars as well. But if there is ever a meeting in central to north GA., I’d love to hear and learn how to get out the best way I can without anymore wounds than I already have.

Chumpiest
Chumpiest
5 years ago

Mid-September to mid-October I’ll be in Europe: Budapest, Berlin, Barcelona and Madrid. Any chumps there who’d like to meet for coffee or a glass of wine? The very few CL fans I know in my small South American country are my own friends to whom I’ve given CL’s book.

OutFromTheShadows
OutFromTheShadows
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumpiest

Ayy que pena! Tan cerca

I’m normally in Brussels but will be in Spain (Alicante) in August. An escape to Madrid would be very tempting FindingBliss. !Disfrutalo!

STBXW is from S. America and the Spanish-speaking world was always my weak spot. I just hope the 20 years I wasted on her won’t turn me away from this. Enjoy your trip Chumpiest 🙂

Chumpiest
Chumpiest
5 years ago

Thank you, OFTS, I certainly will. And I hope you and Finding Bliss can meet in Madrid! Un abrazo.

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumpiest

Chumpiest,

I’ll be in Madrid all of September. Maybe we could meet up. I’m super close to Parque Retiro.

Chumpiest
Chumpiest
5 years ago
Reply to  FindingBliss

Hi, Finding Bliss! I expect to arrive in Madrid on October 11, so I’m not sure we’ll be able to meet. Maybe you’ll have to extend your dates, so I won’t lose hope. Hugs.

Nicelutherangirl
Nicelutherangirl
5 years ago

Thank you for posting this, Tracy! I’ve been a resident of Chump Nation and reading the blog for a few years, and my divorce from Snakeface was finalized about 15 months ago. I’ve been finding my feet in the past year since I moved to a new place, and I would love to meet some simpatico fellow chumps in the Minneapolis metro area.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
5 years ago

Nice – I am in Mankato. I do get up to the cities occasionally (I went to Apple Valley HS). If you’d like to meet halfway or just headed south sometime – let me know!

Nicelutherangirl
Nicelutherangirl
5 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

I went into the forum, LadyStrange, and found a group of Minnesota chumps, mostly from the metro, who met a few weeks ago and may be planning another get-together in the next few weeks.

Something to note, I seem to have an old log-in name sticking to my profile, and it got re-attached after logging in to the forum, so that’s why I’m replying to you as Chumpedbythelake. Chumpedbythelake = Nicelutherangirl.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
5 years ago

Ok. I haven’t been in the forums for awhile now. I am open to driving up sometime. I am busy a lot of weekends, but not all 🙂

Chumpedbythelake
Chumpedbythelake
5 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

I’m open, LadyStrange, though we may need to start an “It’s A Small World of Chumps, After All” group or column or something… Snakeface graduated from AVHS in 1983 and his parents still live in town. What years were you there? What a connection to make!

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
5 years ago

Oh my! I graduated in 88 and my parents still live there. Yep – small world!!!

Hopium4years
Hopium4years
5 years ago

WalkingThruHell – a chump in my area who for now is still living with a fuckwit spouse, like me – has been caring, funny, and SUPER supportive, especially when I went through a particularly tense time with the Python (who hasn’t moved out yet, but has at least found another place and is gradually relocating his crap – YAY!).

We texted a LOT during that difficult weekend, and I will never forget her caring and kindness. And her wonderful sense of humor!! She helped me SO much, and at the time I was very anxious and badly needed some understanding and support. An incident had occurred which I thought might result in a switch to the rage channel (fortunately, it wasn’t too bad, but I was quite worried for a couple days) – I didn’t feel alone thanks to her. I will be forever grateful!

She is so funny, and such a breath of fresh air – when you live with a stinky (literally – I spray Febreze on the couch he sleeps on) cheater, you need that!!

Merci, mon amie!

walkingthruhell
walkingthruhell
5 years ago
Reply to  Hopium4years

De rien, Hopiumforyears! So grateful for your friendship, support, and sense of humour, too. Merci for your very kind words… I am deeply touched.
This forum and the Chumps I have met have truly been a blessing in my life. Nobody understands our plight like another Chump. Last year, I made the pilgrimage from my state to the wonderful Bama Chumpapalooza. Conspired with a non-chump friend in Atlanta who had a car and a sense of adventure, and off we went on a road trip to Bama! GA did not know about the side trip… I was so nervous, I broke out in hives! Have no idea how cheaters can lead the secret lives they do. While at the Chumpapalooza, I ignored GA after my phone got wet running with another Chump. He actually checked the weather in Atlanta! Upon my return, he confronted me and said, “It didn’t rain anywhere in Atlanta proper.” My response was pure return mindfuck, “It rained where I was.” Both places had 15% chance of rain that day (I checked) but was told 15% in Bama means rain for sure!
Thank you, Chump Lady, for starting this blog and bringing good people together all over the globe.

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago

Yes, we were totally caught in a downpour! It was literally and figuratively raining for many of us! Cheaters suck. Chumps rock!

Nikki Lynn
Nikki Lynn
5 years ago

“It rained where I was.” That a girl, WalkingThruHell! Stare that Mother Fucker down!

ChumpNeedsSunlight
ChumpNeedsSunlight
5 years ago

I connected with some awesome chumps online on another website that is trying to change the narrative (https://www.infidelityhelpgroup.com/) – and they were a lifesaver. I see a few of them on here from time to time too. 🙂

In real life, no chumps – but I do have a really close friend that is going through divorce with her very narcissistic X, and we support each other. It is so awesome to just have someone who GETS it. Even though her X didn’t cheat – these articles are still so relevant in how to deal with a narc. Love to you all!

honeyandthehomewrecker
honeyandthehomewrecker
5 years ago

Hi CNS! Yes, changing the narrative often happens one chump at a time.

11 days after I was abandoned by Honey, I found and attended a divorce support group that met up one night a week at my church. It was over a year before I’d find Chump Nation and my life would change even more dramatically, learning critical concepts about adultery, character, and abandonment that I hadn’t learned in that group. Another year later, I volunteered to help lead that class so I could help others who were shell-shocked and hurting. I still lead it to this day, 2 years later.

There’s kid care so I can totally manage this. The class lasts 3 months and then we start over with a new group. Always in week 1 of class, I watch chumps who don’t know they’re chumps walk in zombie-style and I want so badly to unleash all of the wisdom I’ve gained from this blog on that first night. But I’ve learned that some people who have been bombarded with other messages can’t process the truth that quickly or take such a definitive position so fast, lest they be considered ‘unchristian’ or ‘selfish’.

So slowly over the course of the class, I introduce various subjects. Ethical decision-making trees. Emotional disorders. Proof of character (trusting that they suck). Gaslighting. Adultery as a form of abuse. REFRAMING THE NARRATIVE! I keep it all within the context of biblical truth and let me tell you, I have seen the light go on for so many of these people (who I now count as close, lifelong friends) and seen the rage that has been turned inward turn toward self-protection and gaining a better life.

So I say all of this to encourage those without a Chump meet-up to find local divorce support groups in their town instead. There are tons here of all kinds in my town. You can go to meetup.com to find them or just google divorce support group in your zip code. You don’t have to lead the group to be impactful. Just go, meet people who have been cheated on and are suffering, and take what you’ve learned and impart it. Give them CL’s blog address. Meet them for coffee. Open their eyes like your eyes were opened. CL’s message will begin to spread like wildfire and friendships will be gained. We can pay it forward, one chump at a time!

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago

IHG rocks!!! I think it’s how I found Chump Lady!

acestace
acestace
5 years ago

I met several of my chumpy new besties in Divorce Care group. (Turns out infidelity is rampant!) And one of my chump friends led me to a great chump guy…who is now my boyfriend! It’s pretty amazing to be around people who ‘just get it’, without much explanation at all. CHUMPS UNITE!!!

MovingOn
MovingOn
5 years ago

I get together now and then with two friends who were cheated on, but we met through another site.

I am a WNY chump and hosted a get-together with fellow chumps from another site, but I would love to host a CN get-together. Toronto is not that far from me, but with three young kids (one of whom no longer goes on visitation), I can’t really commit to taking that sort of road trip at this point.

Any WNY chumps who want to meet for coffee or talk about some sort of get-together, let me know!

Neo
Neo
5 years ago

I could see a cheater sending someone in incognito to a champ group, in order to get Intel on their spouse

Traffic_Spiral
Traffic_Spiral
5 years ago
Reply to  Neo

Well, who? It’d have to be someone the Chump didn’t know who was also willing to do that for the cheater, so who meets both requirements? A hidden OP? Seems risky to send him/her in.

Chumplanta
Chumplanta
5 years ago
Reply to  Neo

I can smell cheating from a mile away now. Can’t y’all? Movie theaters, restaurants, coffee shops, work.

I bet I could sniff out a fake Chump pretty good, too.

Chumptopia
Chumptopia
5 years ago

I met an awesome young woman through this site that I correspond regularly with. She came and visited me last summer and is coming again in August. We live about 150 miles from each other.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
5 years ago

I was lucky enough to have Over and Out email me a few years ago. You can’t even IMAGINE how much she helped me get through the shit! We actually had a lot in common. She and I both lived in the country, so she helped with the sale of my house with things I wasn’t very knowledgeable with (septic tank, water testing, the well, etc….) The next year I flew out to meet her in Florida. Chump Mindfucked also met with us one night! I think it helped us all get together and just tell our stories. Even though Over and Out is 1500+ miles away (I live in Minnesota), we still chat often and she is one of my very best friends! Love her to death!!!
As far as MN chumps – I have met a few. I can’t remember their ‘chump’ names. But distance is certainly an issue as far as getting together…

Freer Every Day
Freer Every Day
5 years ago

I met several chumps from another site. they are my best friends now. we talk daily. I’ve met 3 of them and plan to meet another next month. I moved to a new state and they are my rock. I was privileged to meet tempest last week. truly a beautiful person!

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
5 years ago

Inside and out! Tempest ❤️

Chumptopia
Chumptopia
5 years ago

I’m in the panhandle of Idaho/Eastern Washington area if there are chumps in this area that would like to meet up.

Magical Feelings
Magical Feelings
5 years ago

I know there are a few NZrs on here, would love to meet and chat esp fellow male chumps, though I’m “lucky” to have a couple chumped friends in RL, and it’s so true, only if one has been chumped does one know how it feels. This site is truly inspiring, funny, scary and amazing.

Expectations
Expectations
5 years ago

Hi. By NZrs do you mean Kiwis? I am one and would love to meet up if you live in Kiwiland.

lovedandlost
lovedandlost
5 years ago

Is anyone out there from Eastern Canada (and NOT sleeping with my ex)?
I would love to meet some Super Former chumps around my age (in the over 50 age range).

Alexandra
Alexandra
5 years ago
Reply to  lovedandlost

I’m not from the East but I love it out there.

I’m Canadian too. 🙂

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
5 years ago

I’m in the El Paso, TX area and am hopeful to meet fellow chumps. If any are here, please let me know. Thanks!

Namibia
Namibia
5 years ago
Reply to  Amazon Chump

Same here. Let’s get in touch, Amazon.

Magneto
Magneto
5 years ago

Meeting other chumps is great. Having the support of someone who really understands the situation is very helpful.
Until they start swapping crazy diet ideas… … ..

kez
kez
5 years ago

I’m in Brisbane Australia if anyone from here or near would like to meet up? ????

GoodSexBeforeIDie
GoodSexBeforeIDie
5 years ago
Reply to  kez

Kez we’re all signing in for our next Brisbane meetup on the meet ups forum thread there. Hope you come too !!

junglechump
junglechump
5 years ago

I would LOVE meetups with other chumps. Anyone in Holland/Belgium?

OutFromTheShadows
OutFromTheShadows
5 years ago
Reply to  junglechump

Me 🙂
I’m just on the outskirts of Brussels.
STBXW is in Spain with the kids so I have some peace for a week or 2 more and am therefore off to Werchter this Sat to the TW Classic festival (Kraftwerk, Editors, etc.). It’s only now post D-Day that I realise how little I’ve done for M.E. for so long.

moominmamma
moominmamma
5 years ago

The Adelaide ,South Australia, chapter of CN has had 2 meetups so far .They were enormously helpful to me, and I hope I didn’t just talk the others into a stupor! It is such a relief to find people ( and awesome people) who understand how earth shattering cheating is and how the shockwaves keep reverberating through life. I got a text from my cousin this week- I love her dearly, but she thinks I need to get over being angry, she says I am ” scary” angry when I talk about my XH. WTF? The man is trying to screw me over financially and has caused my child to need a psychiatrist and I’m not supposed to be angry?Or I’m supposed to pretend? I did a lot of pretending for years and years that he was normal, I’m not doing it any more.
Looking forward to the next catchup, and to ChumpLady’s tour of South Australia… come, see the wineries, eat the food..

Freer Every Day
Freer Every Day
5 years ago
Reply to  moominmamma

I call that ‘bunnies and rainbows ‘ and people expect it of me too. I can’t do that ever again.. stripped to truth. forever.

CurlyChump
CurlyChump
5 years ago

I’m a midatlantic chump and I want so badly to meet up with others. I became very isolated during my codependent and emotionally abusive relationship and i am doing better in so many ways, but am aching for friendship. I am 2+ years since final separation on April 1 – yes, really, April FOOLS Day. As member of LGBT community, am having difficulty finding support. There is a lot of pressure to “forgive ex and be friends” among lesbians, and some straight people don’t view my partnership as “real.”

IGotTheHouse
IGotTheHouse
5 years ago