Jennifer Lopez Marries New and Improved Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck

In WTF news, I feel compelled to comment on the recent marriage of Jennifer Lopez to alcoholic, nanny-schtupper Ben Affleck.

What’s a multitalented, supernaturally beautiful woman worth an estimated $400 million doing with a guy who can’t hold coffee?

I DO NOT KNOW, CN. 

Is it the charming way he blames his ex-wife for his addiction?

Or his enormous phoenix rising back tattoo? (He’s the phoenix, get it? Rising from the ashes of all the cruel, cruel forces that made him a fuckwit.)

Is it his sneery, perpetual look of boredom? Even while fondling J.Lo’s bottom?

Explain this to me.

Perhaps Ben Affleck has gotten a character transplant. Given all the things you can manufacture, inject, and implant into celebrities, it’s entirely possible. Maybe he’s had ethics injections. Integrity veneers. A personal trainer for apologies.

What does she see in him?

Isn’t this the guy who cheated on her the last time they were engaged 20 years ago? Allegedly, he went to a strip club and sampled the merchandise. Affleck denied cheating and threatened to sue the National Inquirer, but then didn’t. Drama, drama, drama… J.Lo calls off a scheduled wedding for 400 guests.

They blame the press for Ben’s wandering dick the dissolution of their relationship.

J.Lo, that’s like me blaming Match.com for my ex-husband’s dating profiles. But whatever, it’s 20 years later, Ben Affleck has changed!

Since their ill-fated engagement, Ben married another Jennifer, had three kids, fucked the nanny — excuse me, dated the nanny while separated — did rehab, lost his fine-motor skills with Dunkin Donuts, and then went on the Howard Stern show to share how he was the real victim in his marriage to Jennifer 2.0.

I think I see a unicorn.

J.Lo, you’re worthy now. Okay, so he threw away what you had for a strip bar hostess, but since then you’ve built an entire multimedia empire. When Ben gets that far away look while caressing your ass, remind him, “This is a $400 million ass. You will NEVER find ass this good.”

And he’ll believe you, because he’s a changed man with $15 million worth of cosmetic character surgery. He had a douche tuck. No one can see his unsightly moral blemishes.

He only sucked for Jennifer Garner, the lesser Jennifer. He only vomits in her car. Cheats with her nanny. It will be different with you. Different than 20 years ago. Different!

Best of luck. Mazel tov.

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learning
learning
1 year ago

I feel bad for all of the children involved in their messes

Gorillapoop
Gorillapoop
1 year ago
Reply to  learning

Agreed. What a pair of douches. Running off to a Vegas wedding and leaving your kids behind to wonder ‘what’s next’? Her taste in men suuucks.

Hcard
Hcard
1 year ago

Trash meets trash, same story, different names. I believe the bigger the drama behind them dumping their families, makes them believe their love is more special. Where we see a couple of fruitcakes, they believe everyone wants to be them. Time to get the popcorn, watch the ???? show

KatiePig
KatiePig
1 year ago

Oh, you don’t know. She’s a total piece of shit. They are a perfect match. I’m so glad they’re together again, they can torment each other instead of some decent people.

She’s loving the drama. She gets to watch him trash his wife and the mother of his children and feel like a winner. That makes her happy, just like getting maids fired for daring to say hello to her while they’re literally doing their jobs and have to be there makes her happy. They’re literally required to greet guests when they see them but Princess Jennifer demanded they be fired for it. She’s an awful human. Money doesn’t make people decent.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
1 year ago

Well, I am watching the clock out of curiosity on this one.

I knew Jlo MIL #2. She did not have good things to say about her.

I am not under the impression that either party here has the necessary long-term skills for marriage. I’ve been interested in learning them and thought I had married someone who felt the same, but I was duped.

I feel sorry for the children involved. ☹️

Money is one of the ultimate enablers and it’s a good thing I didn’t have much of it way back when or I might not be alive today.

Trust is what I am after in this life. Without it, there is no love. I am
constitutionally incapable of ever again trusting someone who cheated on me, and if you think you can, I say, why would you bother with attempting when you can have blessed peace of mind being on your own or hold out for someone genuinely trustworthy? What I see here is doing the same thing and expecting different results, AA’s famous definition of insanity.

I just happened upon the final scene of the final episode of Outlander after having been on hiatus from watching since DDay OCT 2017. Jamie and Claire are lying in bed at night during a thunderstorm. He rescued Claire from her kidnappers and she is visibly covered with bruises. He asks her how she feels and she says, “Safe.”

I realized that is all I have ever wanted in a relationship and something I never had, and could never have, with someone who
lies and cheats.

I also realized I am covered with bruises, from my former husband, but they are invisible.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
1 year ago

As usual, a powerful and cogent comment from you, especially the last sentence. Thanks.

SweetChumpgirl
SweetChumpgirl
1 year ago

Cheater told me about some of his cheating June 2017. I zeroed in on your posts since and think the world of you Velvet. You remind me in every post how far we have come. 5 years! We learned what our boundaries are and how it’s ok to say “no” when it doesn’t feel right xoxo sweet ….nothing but love for you!!

Adelante
Adelante
1 year ago

I grew up in a violent household, with a cheating, abusive–verbally, physically, sexually–mentally ill father and a mother who wouldn’t/couldn’t/didn’t protect me. Safety and security is all I’ve ever wanted. I became a professor, and I fought for tenure because I needed the safety of knowing my job was secure. I thought I was in a safe relationship with a man I thought was nothing like my father, and that my marriage was secure. My trust, so very difficult to establish, was shattered. About the only thing I have any trust in these days is that the sun will come up in the morning.

Rebecca
Rebecca
1 year ago

Velvet Hammer,

It’s so hard to feel unsafe. Even harder (impossible?) to look for safety from another person. Whether from spouse, child, lover or parents.

I look at people who have parents that made them feel safe and hope they know how lucky they are. I’m not jealous because my lack of loving parents helped me be the badass person I am now. But I am happy for others.

The truest safety comes from within. Knowing one can survive anything life dumps on them while standing on their own 2 feet. That kind of safety comes from being a survivor and with time. Becoming a survivor requires introspection and work. I know that you have worked very hard on yourself and hope you’re as proud of that as everyone here is for you. I’ve often said here that time is the best friend we chumps have.

I hope you find that safety you crave as you continue your path towards Tuesday ❤️

Juniper
Juniper
1 year ago
Reply to  Rebecca

Rebecca – This comment is so kind, inspiring, affirming. I felt a warmth in my heart when I read it. Thank you.

❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
❤️ Velvet Hammer ❤️
1 year ago
Reply to  Rebecca

In 1989, I learned about the concept of “keeping myself safe” from my local domestic violence shelter’s educational program. I also remember being taught “you cannot control another person’s decision to be violent.”

Because people are not islands, and interacting with others, being in relationships with others is unavoidable, it means I have a responsibility to determine if I am safe and get away if I am not.

Of course the first hard part, having grown up with abuse from family who said they love me, is learning to determine what trust and safety are. Something I was absolutely clueless about, being raised in a violent dysfunctional alcoholic bonkers war zone household. Violence and abuse and love are linked, and that linkage is insidious and cast iron.

The second hard part, having grown up with abuse from family who said they love me, is the ongoing practice of ending a relationship if I become aware I am not safe or with someone who is trustworthy.

I have been blinded and handicapped and confused by the misuse of the word “love” and the inaccurate incarnations of the concept.

What’s most important for
me now is that I trust myself, that I am trustworthy, and watch for that in others when forming associations with others.

I need to look at and improve my “leaving” game. I know I can trust myself. It turns out I was right about him all along. ????

TRUST and SAFETY are the coins of the realm I want to live in. LOVE is their offshoot, and is not present without them.

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
1 year ago
Reply to  Rebecca

So true, Rebecca. I never felt safe with my abusive narcissistic parents. I never felt safe with my first husband who was a 23 year old alcoholic cheater and physically and emotionally abusive. I thought I was going to be ok when I went to law school and met my XH. We were together 26 years. I thought we were ok at times, but he abused me emotionally and then Dday 1 and I found out about the others. Then he assaulted me. That was nearly 8 years ago. I’m objectively “safe” but don’t feel safe. The scars are very deep.

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
1 year ago
Reply to  Rebecca

“I look at people who have parents that made them feel safe and hope they know how lucky they are.”

With a covert narcissist father, a flamboyant narcissist grandmother, and a co-dependent enabler mother, I too never felt completely safe as a child. I was too busy avoiding my grandmother and father (when I wasn’t desperately vying for recognition and support) and taking care of my mother. Perhaps that is why I cannot view any man with complete trust (with the exception of one of my brothers). I have never had the experience of being in a relationship with a man who turned out to be trust worthy. Now every man who looks at me (which is rare) I view with a jaded eye.

Informal
Informal
1 year ago

My thought is that his ex can be really happy now because he’s someone else’s problem.
I saw a wedding photo and his eyes appear as empty as my ex’s in photos. It is scary. We all know he’s living in the same shell and can temporarily morph into whatever they need to become while searching and finding willing participants.especially if they are wealthy.

CC
CC
1 year ago

JLo had all the evidence to consider and she married him ANYWAY. I imagine Ben Affleck feels pretty validated right now – I wonder what might go wrong…

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
1 year ago
Reply to  CC

CC, I would bet $ that Affleck will start drinking again. That is, if he isn’t now.

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
1 year ago

Poor Jennifer Garner–now she has to put up with more reporters and questions about how she feels, whether she supports the relationship, why her kids were or were not in attendance at the wedding, etc. I am sure all she wants to say is some version of, “Thank goodness, I divorced that jackass and am clear of him.” But she is cannot. She has to keep smiling and pretending to be “supportive” so as not to be presented as bitter, vengeful, cold, or saying things that might “hurt” his relationship with the kids.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
1 year ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

“Narcles” –lol. I couldn’t help it.

Picture yourself entrapped in a limo
With a coked up celeb
And monkeys that fly
Something gross happens
Your armrest is sticky
Then you’re forced to sign three NDIs
Crack pipes and Cristal
And underage teens
Tumble around in his lap
Then he of the big head
Who can’t hold his Starbucks
Throws up

Benny in the sky with narcles
Benny in the sky with narcles
Benny in the sky with narcles
Ahhhh– ah.

Follow him down to celebrity rehab
As he blames it all
On his beleaguered ex
Everyone smiles as he
Waggles his Oscar
And lurches around like T-Rex
Strippers and nannies
Thicken the plot
While J-Lo inherits
A spackling brush
Blending the kids
In this dissolute clot
Is fucked up

Benny in the sky with narcles
Benny in the sky with narcles
Benny in the sky with narcles
Aaah, ah.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
1 year ago

Bleah, ruined my rhyme scheme with a bad acronym. Correction:

Picture yourself entrapped in a limo
With a coked up celeb
On his third wedding day
Something gross happens, your armrest is sticky
Then you’re forced to sign three NDAs…

MamaMeh
MamaMeh
1 year ago

Awewsome. Both of them. Very clever. T-Rex to rhyme with ex, you’re on fire

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
1 year ago
Reply to  MamaMeh

Gracias. 😉

Curlychump
Curlychump
1 year ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Hopefully in the six years since she’s put down the pipe. Especially since Ben’s awful Howard Stern interview.

KB22
KB22
1 year ago

Ben basically gave JLo the discard the first time. He pursued her, love bombed her and then when the wedding was close became distance and behaved badly. Also, remember she dumped and divorced her chump husband for Ben. Both are pieces of work. My guess is JLo never got over Ben dumping her and marrying someone else. I think Ben trashed and demeaned his relationship with Jennifer Garner to appease JLo. The whole statement she made after they married was such delusional nonsense basically stating that they had/have a great love, were destined to be together and everyone else in between meant nothing. Anyway that was my take. I give it 3 years before they divorce, 2 years before they quietly separate.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
1 year ago
Reply to  KB22

KB22: That long? I would guess separation in 6 months & divorce in 2 years. Hey, maybe we should start a pool!

GettingStronger
GettingStronger
1 year ago

Thank you Chump Lady – you are the best.

portia
portia
1 year ago

This couple epitomizes everything I hate about celebrity “news”. Really, I do not care. But I am concerned about what this kind of crap does to the minds of impressionable chumps in the real world. I’m just Jenny from the block, is an inaccurate label. I’m Reformed Affleck is not real either. I believe they both want to represent what they want the world to believe. There are multiple marriages and “relationships” here. Nothing works out, because it’s all about media moments, and not about real life.

There is too much glamour, too much glitter, too much impression management. There are marriages and engagements to this one today, big jewelry, fancy clothes, and then “POOF” a new partner tomorrow.

I watch The View on occasion, just to listen to the clashes and see certain guests. One of the hosts said she believes that these two have always been each other’s true love, and they were destined to be. She thinks they will last. She is also very religious, married to a doctor, jealous, and a bit of a perfectionist. I have nothing against her personally, but I believe she holds standards of achievement that are unrealistic and unobtainable for most of us who live in the real world. She is also a lawyer, is intelligent, and has evidently worked hard in her life from what little I know about her. My observation is not about her personally, but about what she represents to the audience. It is very close to RIC dogma at times. The group was discussing monogamy, pros and cons, and one host observed it was like having a PBJ for lunch every day. She immediately said, “there are ways to spice up the PBJ and keep it fresh.”

Personally, I like PBJ, but I don’t eat it every day. I don’t want the burden of “spicing it up” to please someone else, on me. You either agree to monogamy in your relationship, or don’t. Either way, every relationship involves work, good times and bad times. It’s not easy, and certainly not “meant to be.” We do not live happily ever after in Fairy Tale Land. We live in the real world.

Entertainers and entertainment are intended to be entertaining, but actors are not the parts they play. Even their pictures are enhanced with make-up and wardrobe tricks. They may be talented, but they are not role models. This escape from the arms of one fiancé, who cheated, into the arms of a past fiancé, who cheated, does not bode well, IMHO. Past multiple relationships, all dissolved due to the actions of past partner, no time to heal, no critical self-assessment, again a bad bet IMHO.

It is ok to desire love and believe in love. Just remember who you are, what you need, what you bring to the table, and know all these things about your partner. Live in the real world.

OHFFS
OHFFS
1 year ago
Reply to  portia

“One of the hosts said she believes that these two have always been each other’s true love, and they were destined to be.”
???? Oh suuuuure. They’re “soul mates.”
Yeesh, what adolescent crap some so-called adults believe.

“Personally, I like PBJ, but I don’t eat it every day. I don’t want the burden of “spicing it up” to please someone else, on me. You either agree to monogamy in your relationship, or don’t.”

Exactly. I’m not twisting myself into a pretzel and doing kinky stuff to try to prevent my partner from growing bored. I actually think anyone who is bored by good sex and needs freaky extras to find it exciting is psychosexually abnormal. I never want to have sex with somebody like that again.

Adelante
Adelante
1 year ago
Reply to  portia

For the host to compare monogamy to eating PB&J every day is so reductive: of a person and of marriage to–and sex with–that person. To make that comparison reveals more about the limitations of the host than of monogamy.

LadybugChump
LadybugChump
1 year ago
Reply to  Adelante

I love this PBJ analogy and agree that story is reductive. Just another way a cheater minimizes what they are doing.
I remember “spicing” up food for my kids. PBJ with a circle cutter became a spaceship. They ate.

Letgo
Letgo
1 year ago

JLo has had several marriages, some that barely made time for a honeymoon. Her ex dumped his wife for her. Benny boy can not act his way out of a paper bag. They deserve each other. Time for popcorn and recliner.
I love Denzel Washington for his acting chops, his long marriage and his integrity. I hope I did not jinx anything because he, and a handful of others, are keeping La La Land from sinking.

LadybugChump
LadybugChump
1 year ago
Reply to  Letgo

I love Denzel too!

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
1 year ago
Reply to  Letgo

Sorry to say the actress Cynda Williams reported being harassed and coerced by Washington back in the 90s. Her school mates said she never really recovered from the experience. The story hit the trade papers and then disappeared, probably because the big money-makers have teams dedicated to shaping PR.

Anyway, when it comes to celebrities I always remember Margaret Atwood’s words: “Wanting to know a writer because you like their work is like wanting to know a duck because you like pate.”

Janise
Janise
1 year ago
Reply to  Letgo

Denzel swore off working with women of a specific race afte he was photographed, while married, on a sofa kissing a woman of that race. Of course it’s been spun to tap into his fans’ fears and loyalty, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be a one-off. His son also has some strong words for his dad’s treatment of mom and nothing but glowing praise for his mother.

I don’t think truly healthy people often seek out fame and worship in the entertainment industry, so most celebrities are probably of the same ilk.

OHFFS
OHFFS
1 year ago
Reply to  Janise

“I don’t think truly healthy people often seek out fame and worship in the entertainment industry, so most celebrities are probably of the same ilk.”

Agree. Most of them are quite narcissistic. Not all, but a higher proportion than the general public.

Letgo
Letgo
1 year ago
Reply to  Janise

This is why I hoped not to jinx my thoughts/hopes

FuriousRage
FuriousRage
1 year ago

This is a sh!tshow with a worldwide audience. I give it a year, 18 months tops. JLo has been married how many times? Didn’t she cheat on her then husband with sad Ben, the misunderstood genius?

Garner deserves an honorary Oscar for her performance as the selfless ex-spouse. She’s weathered the Blake Lively rumors, then the nanny… Ben’s a gift that keeps in giving.

The marriage also has shades of the Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor rematch.

Hurt1
Hurt1
1 year ago

Douche tuck for the win! I must use this in a sentence today to impress my Chump Lady-hip friends.

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Hurt1

“Douche tuck for the win!”

I am definitely going to use that. I think anytime anyone talks about a cheater reforming I will say “Really, did they get a character transplant and a douche tuck”.

Samsara
Samsara
1 year ago

So happy CL posted on this.
It’s hard to watch for some reason.
Feels like Ben Affleck is using this to pivot his career and using apparent sobriety with a nice PR-y wedding.
For her part I feel like JLo is projecting sooo heavily onto Baffle while he seems barely even present. He looks stoned and dissociative in every pic. They don’t even look well matched energetically or even physically. The energy seems off. She seems manic and hyper driven to get married and have the world validate the great loooove story and he seems not that into it, a bit lost and frankly checked out. Baffle also looks a lot like my Ex husband which is to say Affleck looks a lot like a man with a big secret. Either he is fighting sooo hard not to relapse and so it comes off strangely and turned within himself or he is checked out in several other different ways and to me as an NA alum, well suffice to say “I’ve seen that face before”…
Then the “dupers delight” cat-got-the-whipped-cream photo of JLo naked yet wrapped in her sheets posing post-coitally and smirking in the marital bed the morning after the nuptials. I think it was on her Insta but I felt for Jennifer Garner on that one. That would hurt her and it was a classic OW move of JLo to bomb social media by doing that and with that exact pic especially.
But at least after the Elvis Chapel vows there were thankfully high thread count sheets involved, so it was classy y’all. Classy in that ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ kind of way I guess.

KB22
KB22
1 year ago
Reply to  Samsara

“She seems manic and hyper driven to get married and have the world validate the great loooove story and he seems not that into it, a bit lost and frankly checked out.”
Exactly!
JLo is a very driven person I’ll give her that…it seems she has a strong competitive drive as well. She desperately needs to let the world know that Ben loves and has always loved her (eyeroll) to stick it to Jennifer Garner. The Vegas wedding was tacky, no matter how she tries to spin, but she was determined that she would marry Ben this time around and made sure he didn’t have an opportunity to get cold feet like the last time. Ben will be coming off the high of pursuit, exotic holidays, etc. and face the day to day humdrum life of marriage/family. This will be the kiss of death for the “love of the century”. Anyway, I’m pretty sure Jennifer Garner will have the last laugh.

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
1 year ago
Reply to  KB22

With all their money, why wouldn’t they have done something classy and private. They could afford their own private island! Fly out your kids. Have a beautiful, intimate family thing. They are immature adults. Tacky, desperate.

Kathleen
Kathleen
1 year ago

IMO she’s a egotistical train wreck. I don’t understand why she marries so often instead of just dating/living with
one guy at a time. As for Ben he’s a cheating aging wanna be. It seems these bed hopping celebrities think that true love will happen no matter how many divorces they can endure. Very sad in a way ????

Kathleen
Kathleen
1 year ago

IMO she’s a egotistical train wreck. I don’t understand why she marries so often instead of just dating/living with
one guy at a time. As for Ben he’s a cheating aging wanna be. It seems these bed hopping celebrities think that true love will happen no matter how many divorces they can endure. Very sad in a way ????

walkbymyself
walkbymyself
1 year ago

You know, nobody ever really wins the “Pick Me” dance. The only way to win is to refuse to play.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
1 year ago
Reply to  walkbymyself

walkbymyself, Shout out for War Games!

FYI
FYI
1 year ago

BOTH of them lied on the application for a marriage certificate. They can’t keep their stories straight even at the altar! He lied and said that he had been divorced since 2013, when in fact he got divorced in 2018. She said her divorce was in 2011, when in fact it was in 2014.
Oh well. No one keeps track of when they were married to the other parent of their children. What is time? What do years really mean? Love has no sequence!

SouthernChump
SouthernChump
1 year ago

Geez….I liked her $400 million dollar I took my life back ass too bc her story was one of exchanging wondering dick, taking her life back and changing that $15 million dollar ass into mega millions. WTF! Ugh….I digress. I smell a raging plot twist with major shitstorms ahead (including Ben wanting “his fair share” of that $400 mill. Good luck Beniffer 2.0! You gonna need it sister.

hush
hush
1 year ago
Reply to  SouthernChump

???? Ben sees dollar signs and triangulation against Bennifer 1.0 – plus now he can go back to being drunk and gambling all the time.

I’m glad the Affleck kids have their one sane mom!

LookingForwardstoTuesday
LookingForwardstoTuesday
1 year ago

Another celebrity clown show ….. as if we don’t have enough of those already. I bet that their respective lawyers are rubbing their hands with glee; having no doubt banked a truck load of cash to produce the pre-nup, they’ll be on a big fat retainer for when it all turns to sh*t.

Tanya CORDOVA
Tanya CORDOVA
1 year ago

Going back to an cheating ex is like vomiting and eating it back up.

MightyWarrior
MightyWarrior
1 year ago
Reply to  Tanya CORDOVA

The ex dumped me after 36 years to do just that. And like JLo he’d been dumped twice at least by exgfOW. Who was a cheater! I love your description TC.

MightyWarrior
MightyWarrior
1 year ago
Reply to  MightyWarrior

26 years ????

SouthernChump
SouthernChump
1 year ago
Reply to  Tanya CORDOVA

????????????. Tanya….you are spot on!

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Tanya CORDOVA

I can attest to that. I let my fw come back and it lasted a week. He was awful; and stomped me into the ground again. Luckily I only let it last a few days.

Elsie
Elsie
1 year ago

Yet another sad celebrity marriage that won’t last.

Both are truly messed-up people who are in denial. They are delusional if they believe this is real.

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Elsie

I agree. Jen is of course gorgeous and by what can be seen reasonably intelligent, but she is messed up to even entertain this idea.

I find myself wondering if it is just a ruse to jump start BA’s career, and maybe she gets a piece of it, once he is back in the good graces of fans.

I watched a couple old movies of Bens and quite frankly I didn’t see much to brag about talent wise. But, maybe I am just not the target audience.

New York nutbag
New York nutbag
1 year ago

Sooo, he has a phoenix back tatoo ? Wouldn’t that mean it’s rising from his ass?

Gonegirl
Gonegirl
1 year ago

J-lo needs to fix her picker.

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
1 year ago
Reply to  Gonegirl

Gonegirl, maybe this is just some kind of PR thing. I doubt it though.

WalkawayWoman
WalkawayWoman
1 year ago

The story I’m making up in my head is about JLo being a rags-to-riches, talented, determined, hardworking woman who attains incredible against-the-odds professional success but is unable to parlay that success into a functioning relationship. In my story she is a codependent control freak who picks one impossible fuckwit after another, believing she can change them and make it work.
I recognize that story is pure fiction, and what we’re likely seeing is the pairing-up of two disordered people whose supply of chumps has diminished.
The hardworking codependent with the broken picker in my story is actually me. After I left the Lying Cheating Loser and began the hard work of untangling my own skein, I realized that I had a history of picking fuckwits that went all the way back to my teens. I was shocked to see the pattern emerge that I had heretofore ignored or denied.
I’m turning 54 this year and have been happily single for going on 5 years. I don’t date. I’ve deleted the dating apps. My theory is that the dating app matches in my demographic are mostly serially-single, disordered fuckwits. And the few decent people, capable of bonding, who become single in their 50s, well they’re a stock that trades high, as CL says, and they don’t stay single for long.
If I’m choosing between single life and the Ben Afflecks of the world? It’s not even a contest.

loch
loch
1 year ago
Reply to  WalkawayWoman

“My theory is that the dating app matches in my demographic are mostly serially-single, disordered fuckwits.”

Insightful.

2 cents
2 cents
1 year ago

My 2 cents…Jlo gets what she deserves. She sits around collecting engagement rings, She knows what a cheat he is, knew what a cheat Derrick Cheater was, she’s a grown up. Make better choices or live with the consequences. I feel sorry for the poor children. All those millions can be paying for that!

Curlychump
Curlychump
1 year ago
Reply to  2 cents

I think she was with A-rod? (Not that he’s any more loyal.)

fireball
fireball
1 year ago

OFFS theses two are totally irrelevant to my life. They deserve each other and have NO SHAME in displaying to the world how F’d up they really are. IMO getting married (in Vegas or anywhere else) is just another day and means absolutely nothing to anyone. For all the star seekers…. why are you highlighting these revolving door, love stuck, disordered FW’s, neither are marriage material. I predict it won’t last and its more about attention!

Trawna
Trawna
1 year ago

Oh, my. I actually thought that “news” was a joke. What was she thinking?!?!

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
1 year ago

I’ll never forget the withering look Affleck shot at my children while he was location scouting with what seemed like a flock of agents and producers. I was at a cafe table circled by high chairs and baby transport gear when a wholesome-looking member of Affleck’s entourage came over to coo at my kids and to commend me on the work involved. It was a light-hearted exchange but Affleck wasn’t having it. He was visibly impatient, glanced malignantly at my children and did what looked like a disdainful full-body shrug, then stood in the door of the cafe silently summoning the straggler who dared to direct his attention away from Big Ben.

My kids looked like pudgy painted cherubim right off a basilica ceiling at those ages and were being quiet at that moment. Nobody didn’t like them. In fact I’d had to get used to people being drawn on tractor beams to ruffle their sausage curls. But not Affleck. I’d seen half-demented old men scowl over tantruming toddlers a few times and had gotten a total of two dirty looks from a couple of dried up preppies in matching madras slacks while I was publicly breastfeeding (didn’t stop me). But to date I think Affleck was the only adult I’d seen visibly cringe at well-behaved babies.

Previous to having children I’d worked as an advocate for DV survivors and knew that abusers tend to amp up abuse when partners are pregnant or caring for infants. I’ll bet the same is true of some cheater-abusers. In retrospect, Garner would have been pregnant at the time and it seems possible that this is what Affleck was actually reacting to. I hope Garner got combat pay.

OHFFS
OHFFS
1 year ago

That confirms what I’ve suspected about him since long before the gossip came out. He seems like an unmitigated jerk because he is. Some jerks can hide it reasonably well. He is not one of them.

Patricia
Patricia
1 year ago

We were talking about this in the Hair Salon today. I fear for her. I hope it’s a wonderful marriage.

damnitfeelsbadtobeachumpster
damnitfeelsbadtobeachumpster
1 year ago

when i look at ben affleck i think about STI’s. this is not a pleasant thought.

GratefullyDivorcedDad
GratefullyDivorcedDad
1 year ago

So “Bennifer” is back on? With their relationship track records they may not last longer than the expiration date on the yogurt I just purchased. At least no innocent parties will be harmed.

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
1 year ago

I recently read a comment on another platform about this wedding in which someone was trashing Jennifer Garner, claiming that there is old footage of her berating Ben out in public in front of the kids. I guess that was enough evidence for this person to deem her an “overbearing, nagging, controlling” wife (sound familiar?). Considering what he did to blow up that marriage and how he conducted himself afterwards, it is no wonder that Jennifer G. would have had moments of complete exasperation for this moron of a husband.

What lack of class is demonstrated between Ben and JLo to go off to a late Vegas wedding without their own children? WTF? Emotional immature idiots.

This man is nowhere near demonstrating 12 step level of addiction recovery. And JLo has just got to stop jumping from one engagement into the next. Good God. How does a woman this beautiful and this rich lack so much self-worth?

As for Jennifer Garner’s position, I must admit that if I were in her shoes with this level of fame, I would absolutely play the role of understanding, “conscious uncoupling” ex-wife. Her public image benefits from doing it. Stay quiet. Keep smiling. Persevere. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, she is most likely in control of her children’s well-being, holding the fort, and being the sane and responsible parent. In fact, it likely a blessing that her clown of an ex is now traipsing around with JLo, living the lifestyle she enjoys, which frees the kids more from his crap. Their kids are older now and have their own lives going on. Freedom for JennG – the real winner in all of this!

Elsie
Elsie
1 year ago
Reply to  OptionNoMore

Yes, being active in a 12-step group for almost four years now, I doubt that Ben is truly working the program. Certainly there are some who maintain long-term sobriety, but there are some who never quite make the full committment and periodically still spin out of control. The old-timers in my group know the signs and just saidly shake their heads when we are cleaning up afterwards and nearly everyone is gone.

Time will tell.

OHFFS
OHFFS
1 year ago
Reply to  OptionNoMore

I’m surprised she wasn’t caught on camera berating him more than once. He must have been absolute hell to live with.
I’m so sick of this “nagging wife” stereotype. Does it not occur to people that some husbands are such immature, selfish jerks that their wives have to browbeat them into meeting their most basic responsibilities?

LadybugChump
LadybugChump
1 year ago
Reply to  OHFFS

Right… the nagging wife. Let me tell you how much I I hate the nagging that goes on in my profession. It’s not follow up, it’s “professional nagging.”

RVA
RVA
1 year ago

Thank you for this! A reality check for me because this is the most glaring example of how cheaters and fuckwits and chumps work. All the money, all the star power, all the popularity and the guy still fucks the nanny and strippers. Their relationship proves these are not choices worthy of comparison. He does it because he can. He’s not making choices because he doesn’t have to – he is entitled to fuck whoever he wants. But J.Lo is making a choice and we know where that will end. I hope they have a pre- and post- nup. I doubt it because she trusts him now ????

Sandyfeet
Sandyfeet
1 year ago

I am already tired of hearing about them and didn’t need to see the new Mrs selfie from bed.

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Sandyfeet

I didn’t see that. The linc must have been pulled. I am sure I didn’t miss much.

Sandyfeet
Sandyfeet
1 year ago
Reply to  susie lee

It was on the TODAY Show, and the entertainment shows, I usually change the channel before they start. She’s apparently adopting his name too. SMH (bed shot was pretense of showing off her simple wedding band)

Brit
Brit
1 year ago
Reply to  Sandyfeet

Her morning after photo,
Guess what we did last night..
Jennifer Garner, are you watching??

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Sandyfeet

I smell a publicity ruse for both of them.

They will be busted up within 2 years. Just long enough to see if Ben can get some work out of it.

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
1 year ago

I saw this come across my news feed and shook my head. Then I laughed that JLo made a point to post her TWO white wedding dresses… and Ben posted photos of his “dressing room” (a men’s toilet). I couldn’t help but laugh.

JLo seems to need the whole “wedding” thing over and over —- seriously, how many times can you get married and STILL want to wear a classic white wedding dress?? Regardless of thoughts of appropriateness (not for me to judge, nor do I care), it comes across as immature to me that she’s been married 4 times (and engaged many more) and still acts like she needs all the “things.” I think she marries for the rings and dresses and attention — all the romance, but who cares about the dick in the suit she’s getting hitched to?

Then you have Ben, who appropriately got ready for his wedding in a men’s toilet.

They’re perfect for each other.

Can we take odds on this one? A Chump Lady betting pool? ????

Halfthecake
Halfthecake
1 year ago

Cheating has nothing to do with anyone but the person who does it. Decent people dump people they committed to before breaking that commitment in any circumstance. That’s all there is to it. The only reason cheating happens is the person WANTS to keep the person they cheat on. They aren’t selfless people need flash.

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Halfthecake

I agree. It may be that after cheating a while they decide they want to dump the chump. That is when they start backloading their resentments. In the beginning though they generally want the chump in the back ground. Heck that is half the fun.

If the chump is bad enough to cheat on, there is no reason for the cheater to not get rid of them up front. They don’t because they want to keep the chump, until they don’t.

Sausalito
Sausalito
1 year ago

Douche tuck wins the internet today!????

Alittle braver
Alittle braver
1 year ago

Who could possibly feel bad for either of them she was marc Anthony’s mistress and broke up his marriage and Ben Affleck cheated on her with Jennifer Garner it’s the longest pick me dance in history.

Chumpasaurus45
Chumpasaurus45
1 year ago
Reply to  Alittle braver

And didn’t Mark A leave JLo for Miss Universe?
It’s all a game to these entitled narcs, who I truly believe are incapable of genuine love.
All their children have center row seats to the selfish characters with zero scruples or integrity and the show will go on, sadly, for generations to come until someone breaks the mould.
Conscious Chumps will break that mould and are doing it right here.
JLo and Ben are two competing narcs that will tire of each other and move on to bigger, more in the limelight game. They think they are so unique and special, but nothing could be more predictable or common than cheaters.

Ren
Ren
1 year ago

I just don’t think they’re very unique in terms of shitty behavior. Their money, privilege, and press/publicity are unique, but their garbage character: very ordinary and familiar.
I feel tired even superficially thinking about the durability of their relationship. So.Tired.
But CL DEFINITELY adds the zest so—WORTH IT!!!????

susie lee
susie lee
1 year ago
Reply to  Ren

“their garbage character: very ordinary and familiar.”

Lipstick on a pig, doesn’t change the pig.

My apologies to innocent pigs.

Brit
Brit
1 year ago
Reply to  susie lee

“Combined garbage character”

I googled recent photos of Ben and he doesn’t look like a very happy camper as of late.
His facial expressions remind me of a spoiled over indulged child.

Brit
Brit
1 year ago

I just read that Ben and Jen are jetting off to Paris after their Las Vegas wedding.

They win the prize for bring the most tacky couple in Hollywood.

Ben’s face says it all, along with his waistline.

Brit
Brit
1 year ago

Whenever I hear Ben or Jen’s name,
You can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig.

Lola Granola
Lola Granola
1 year ago

My first and last comment on seeing the headline was, “What could possibly go wrong?”

As you were.

Brit
Brit
1 year ago

I just read that it was a drive through wedding? Like McDonald’s? at 12:30 in the morning?

They were just driving through town and at the last minute said what the heck, let’s hit the drive through and get married.

“They eloped and are gaga for each other.”

Daughterofachump
Daughterofachump
1 year ago

Hopefully they signed a prenup.

NewChump
NewChump
1 year ago

Incomprehensible. That turd isn’t even sparkly.

sue devlin
sue devlin
1 year ago

j lo has been married way too many times. shes in love with love. Bens dad was an alcoholic, ben said it really affected his family. he didnt learn from it did he. addicts always blame other people for their problems. that is why he blames his ex wife.

Newlady15
Newlady15
1 year ago

And he married jlo on the same date of his divorce from Jennifer G. Wow.

Shann
Shann
1 year ago
Reply to  Newlady15

Aww that’s bs://

Portia
Portia
1 year ago
Reply to  Newlady15

Seriously? I‘m lost for words and ask myself what Freud would have said.

Guest
Guest
1 year ago

Yeah ben seems like a total pos, but I’m not really a fan of jlo either. She doesn’t seem like any more a stable, serious, faithful kind of person.
I second everyone else here who said they’re sorry for the kids.

small jar of fireflies
small jar of fireflies
1 year ago

J Lo.. J Lo… why do I suddenly have Natasha Ramos’ “Jenny From the Block?” stuck in my head? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_LEmDWd8AI