The Museum of Broken Relationships

Don’t know what to do with that wedding ring? How about the collection of Franklin Mint Elvis plates he gave you every Christmas? Her love poems? Consider donating them to the Museum of Broken Relationships!

In Los Angelos there’s a museum that curates your broken dreams, and all the detritus thereof.

According to a recent Washington Post article:

The museum has just opened its second location, in Hollywood — the original one is in Zagreb, Croatia — and has been overwhelmed by the response to its online call for donations, receiving around 500 so far. “Some people donate multiple items,” said Director Alexis Hyde. “When people bring me their objects, they get emotional. I can see the tension and reluctance to give me something. But afterwards, they feel a little lighter. It’s a real catharsis.”

The objects go beyond jewelry and cassette tapes to include oddities such as a wedding dress stuffed in a bottle, a melted flip phone and a mass of dreadlocks. Donors include men and women of all ages and origins, but they have a commonality. “I don’t know their race, sex, socioeconomic status,” said Hyde. “We are all the same, struggling with the same things. The human spirit is never crushed. We move on and start the whole process over again.”

So today’s Fun Friday challenge is — what would you donate? Come up with a description — provenance, how it should be curated, etc.

Here’s mine:

Tie-dyed license plate cover. First and only Christmas gift post D-Day, circa 2006. Because “you are a hippy chick.” Utterly hideous. Provenance: Tractor Supply, by way of China.

You’ll note the lovely typeset notes that accompany actual donations such as the one above “Wedding Dress in a Jar.”

Got a donation? Tell us about it!

Photo credit: The Washington Post. 

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MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
7 years ago

I would donate his cat that he left. Only joking (saying “only joking” because a few people will probably take me seriously)

He has a tradition of leaving things, wife, kids, unpaid bills…,

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  MidlifeBlast

I was afraid my soon to be ex was getting attached to my new kitten, so I made sure to document the fact that I took her to the vet. I paid for her bills, etc. I though he might try to take the kitten away from me. He never did try that, but I made sure I had evidence that I was the kitty caretaker.

unsinkablemollyx
unsinkablemollyx
7 years ago
Reply to  MidlifeBlast

Yep, he left his kitty-cat here with me for two months, i finally had enough and put kitty outside in the back porch. Days later, he discovered kitty had been discarded, screamed at me, “You’re just going to throw him out like an abandoned child?!?!?! God help you if anything happens to kitty!!!!”

He came got it then took it back to his slut shack. My daughter is low-verbal skills so all ive been told is that “kitty not here!!!” I havent asked either, he probably got rid of it.

nodancing
nodancing
7 years ago
Reply to  MidlifeBlast

Mine abandoned our cats too! No surprise, OW is allergic.

DocK
DocK
7 years ago

I haven’t got around to it yet, but I’ve heard there’s a group (in Aus) that makes gowns for babies born sleeping; they take wedding dresses as a donation. I thought it might be nice to give something beautiful to a devastated family. The dress means nothing to me. It would be like turning a negative into a positive.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  DocK

In my area it is called Angel Gowns.
My dress is currently awaiting pick up.

DocK
DocK
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

It’s such a beautiful idea 🙂
I don’t really have anything else to donate. Stingey bastard.

Catlady1
Catlady1
7 years ago
Reply to  DocK

The group is called Precious Angels in the Niagara area in Canada.

Lucky
Lucky
7 years ago
Reply to  Catlady1

Thank you -I amCanadian and have not been able to part with my beautiful dress – what a wonderful way to put it to use!!!

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago
Reply to  Lucky

Great way to use the dresses how sweet. Mine was a silk outfit i donated to charity i hope somebody can get some use out of it. It really was pretty.

SeeTheLight
SeeTheLight
7 years ago
Reply to  DocK

I had the same thought, too. I am not avaricious, but when you consider the $$$ cheater spent on escorts and dominatrix, you realize that the primitively carved, broken key chain he picked up at the Dollar store as a gift for you, was not so charming.

Then again he did come through with flowery, expensive birthday and anniversary cards every year for 30 years, whose sentiments unbeknownst to me, were empty words.

But how about a collection of his Craig’s List classifieds? The images generated by cheaters words are a gift that could feed my PTSD for years to come.

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago

I could donate the dried, pressed and framed portion of my bridal bouquet, that Ex husband was alway so proud that he had managed to organise with out my knowing on our wedding day. Only I put it out on the curb a year back during a council rubbish collection and the man who lives up the street took it. He held it up and admired it all the way home.

I could donate my first wedding anniversary gift, a book on the history of DS 23 Citron cars. Ex husband was so proud of sourcing said book because they were our wedding cars. He was so excited to get it for me (cough, him) as a gift because what else would a girl want. (cough, Flowers!) but I cannot as I packed it amongst the shit I packed for him to take.

I could donate the birthday gift I got for my 32 birthday from Ex husband of a socket set, and spirit level but I decided I will keep those as they have been handy despite their lack of girly charm.

they could have the garden patio furniture he bought me as an undisclosed sorry gift, or the ugly bed suite the insisted in buying a year before D’day, or the really ugly masculine charm bracelet he gifted to me when I mentioned years ago that I would like a charm bracelet for my birthday.

or best of all I could donate to them the used mobile phone and prepaid sim he just gifted to our 14 year old daughter for her birthday after boasting to the family that he had gotten her phone.

Sunrise
Sunrise
7 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Syringes and the last vial of self prescribed Pentamix solution for severe ED I found in my freezer a month after kicking Dr. Sociopath Surgeon out.
Because I alone was blamed for breaking his dick after just one year. Not the multitudes of prostitutes, neighborhood hook ups and porn since med school. Just me and my raging va-j-j. Provenance: No longer requires refrigeration; won’t be needed any time soon.

Mikky
Mikky
7 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Ha Ha- yeah Thankful, I could have donated a container full too if I hadn’t already removed every. single. thing already. I’ve just moved and I gleefully paid someone to remove the last of the ‘shabby shit’ furniture he made me or his ‘genius’ paintings. Don’t recall the guy saying wow- are you sure you want to get rid of these, they are so beautiful. Nah, gone, forgotten and not to be revisited.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Mikky

Oh, the paintings! I lived with that, too. It isn’t that they were bad. It’s that there were so many and they all had to go up in our home. ALL. Ugh.

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago
Reply to  Mikky

Absolutely Mikky I was so glad to see the back end of my Ex’s crap and no surprise it all went to the new chumps house. at the time if you believe the Ex he and her were not “dating” they were just “friends” they were absolutely not “sleeping together” being exemplary “christians” and he wasn’t “living” with her as he “lived” at his mothers. but he moved everything to here house, lock, stock and piano.

kiwigirl
kiwigirl
7 years ago

Love this. I have got rid of most stuff and I don’t think they would want his collection of ‘granny and morbidly obese porn or the collection of secret images he took of me. However I would donate his pubic hair trimmer, anti snore nose spray, nose hair clippers and his back wax strips. Actually the first sign I knew something was up was when he started going on business trips with his anti snore spray and a 6 pack of polo peeper mints.

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  kiwigirl

I had made my ex a CD of images I took of myself that were meant for his eyes only. I found them in his pile of stuff before we got officially divorced. I decided that he didn’t get to see that after the way he acted. So, I grabbed the CD and shredded it. Not to mention the fact that he once sent a topless photo of me to his brother, but that is a story for another day.

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago
Reply to  JannaG

The naked pictures of me and his first wife i found hidden after he moved in with the whore. His first wife was a drunk and drug addict, selfish woman. I burned the pictures he didnt deserve them the sick fuck and those are pictures children should never see. My were fairly tasteful as in not too bad but the first wife pretty as she was were disgusting never wanted the kids to see them. He doesnt know i burned them too bad so sad. Asswipe doesnt deserve anything for what he has destroyed.

JeanM
JeanM
7 years ago
Reply to  kiwigirl

Kiwigirl, my exh, aka (grandfather daddy)bought himself expensive cologne, watching what ate and change his wardrobe and ate altoids. lol
Now these twovwarped fucks have to buy, diapers, wipes, kotex pads, hemrroid cream, and the beat goes on lol

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  JeanM

“I hear the train acommin,’ its rollin’ down the tracks……..” Thank you, Johnny Cash.

kiwigirl
kiwigirl
7 years ago
Reply to  JeanM

Lol! Karma??

JeanM
JeanM
7 years ago
Reply to  kiwigirl

kg, karma train, toot toot

Sunrise
Sunrise
7 years ago
Reply to  kiwigirl

^^This^^ makes me laugh and want to vomit at the same time.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago

My wedding rings which had to be cut off as they meant enough to me to have never been removed once in 34 years. Looking at the broken circle says it all.

NewHere
NewHere
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

My engagement ring had 6 channel set diamonds, so I had it made into 2 pinky rings with 3 diamonds each for our 2 daughters. I told them the diamonds represented when I loved them – yesterday, today and tomorrow. And that having the 2 of them was worth it all! I paid for it with the gold from my matching wedding ring, which came in handy that first Christmas when I was broke from lawyer and PI bills.

What did their dad get them that first Christmas 6 weeks after the split? $25 gift cards to Applebee’s. Almost brings a tear to my eye….

JeanM
JeanM
7 years ago
Reply to  NewHere

Newhere, nice way to repurpose diamonds!
Yep giftcards, sure a lot if thought!
Yikes

chumpty chumpty bang bang
chumpty chumpty bang bang
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Terrible and funny! Mine actually broke off my finger 3 weeks after dday. The universe was telling me all I needed to know!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

How funny–the most expensive gift X ever gave me was an emerald ring, of which he was very proud. The emerald chipped and fell out 3 weeks after I filed.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest…that is weird….your life sounds very close to mine. The diamond fell out of my ring very shortly before Dday! (Theme song from the Twilight Zone playing in the background.)

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

🙁 Heartbreaking, newdaydawning.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago

The shattered pieces of every breakable object he left behind. I later found out some were gifts from previously us affair partners.
Pieces because I took an entire shopping bag of them to an outdoor gun range and blasted the hell out of them

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Love that! It must have been so satisfying!

Sunrise
Sunrise
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Great idea! If Dr. Sociopath doesn’t pick up the trash bags full of his crap I not so carefully packed I might do just that!

Chatty
Chatty
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Ha I’ve been wondering where I could safety smash the memory flask exhole gave me for Christmas. Shooting range would be perfect.

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

OMG I wish I could have done that. Outdoor gun range awesome.

Special snowflake ha!
Special snowflake ha!
7 years ago

I could donate all the lovely female nudes I bought him (and hung in the bedroom – while I slept in the spare room during wreckonciliation) that were to remind him of every freaking woman he screwed during our 25 year marriage. Funny when he finally moved out, he didn’t take them with him. But, I’ve started selling them- only 3 left – going cheap!

He never bought me anything. I ended up paying for my own engagement/wedding rings (and his). 3 tiny pieces of jewelry in the entire marriage. Yep, I got nothing but taken to dinner for special occasions.

Peony5
Peony5
7 years ago

The gift of a very heavy 2 square foot rock cut into a heart and somehow the words “home is where the heart is” was cut into it. We used to laugh that we have moved that thing like 8 times all over the country. And it was one of our pet sayings. In fact, 2 days before disappearing, he texted me “home is where the heart is.”
Oh wait, I can’t donate that- I smashed it into very small pieces with a sledgehammer and put it in his toolbox for him to take wherever it was he went. That dust will be haunting him for the rest of his life. Lol.

Loridachump
Loridachump
7 years ago
Reply to  Peony5

I ve got another to add to the gps. One Valentine’s Day I made a gift basket of sexy things for us. There was a little vibrator that fit over your finger. After being called whore and a used of fucking everything from the mailman to the mayor of our city I did not desire sex so he would just demand it and take it . I would try to go to bed before him and fake sleep then I would hear that fucking vibrator and I knew it was rape time. I put that and every fake assed live message or card he ever gave me in his stuff he took with him.

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago
Reply to  Loridachump

Damn loridachump what a bastard. Thank the universe you got away from him. Damn!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  Peony5

Hahahahahaa!!!! Love it!!!!!

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago

I could have donated the two photos that hung above our bed for 15 years, the one of us on his side of the bed and the one of him alone on my side of the bed, but they are in pieces in one of the may boxes of crap he took to the new chumps home.

or the framed bible verse done in hobbitex from the 70’s that read “as for me and my house we shall serve the lord”…………oH oh oh I know what they can have. The collection of matchbox cars that sat in a polystyrene box in our garage for close to 14 years that was ceremoniously put into a glass display case at his mothers as soon as he moved there. and despite his now being married and living with the new chump. still resides in her hallway. I will even volunteer to go pack it. oh yeah

Deedee
Deedee
7 years ago

I sold the engagement ring which cost him 18 thousand euros cos he loved me so much dontcha know.
Let it go for 6k.I really didn’t care as long as it was gone.I have another ring which I am currently in process of flogging.
What I could donate to the museum is a box load of cards and letters expressing his undying love and fidelity,words I believed back then.It was all a pile of shite.Had thought of making a bonfire and watching them burn but maybe the museum idea is better.
At least I’m at whatever….meh.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
7 years ago
Reply to  Deedee

My rings were stolen by my oldest son to buy pot when he descended into darkness after the abandonment and lies. He got $60 for them.

I could donate the kissing lamp X bought me for my birthday when we were dating. It was the first thing he ever gave me and I loved it. Good thing, because as I was gushing over it, he said, “Yeah I like the blue, and it you hated it, I could have just used it in my house.” Red flag, anyone? I swear I must have been colorblind.

I can donate all the emails that prove when the affair started. X and bimbo continue to lie about when they colluded to destroy my family. It’s their “New Truth.”

Recently, X’s sister cornered my son in her kitchen during a party. She told him that “…[I] should just “get over it” because its been four years and [dear old dad] is happy now.” My son responded, “Actually auntie, it’s been five years since [X and bimbo] hooked up. Dad might be happy now, but he’ll always be a liar.”

Eh, fuck it. Let him keep living their lie. My sons and I live in the truth now.

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago

Your son rocks!

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago

I guess I should have kept the hideous vanilla candle he gave me (vanilla makes me gag)for christmas post sepstation. I couid also donate the jar of olives he gave our daughter ( who hates olives). Weird or what?

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

My “apology” gift was an orchid (which didn’t last long, kind of like my love for him after D-day) in a purple Halloween pot with a black web. Hey, Hannibal, that sure did make up for stealing 8 years of my life after you had a hot affair with a student!! Cheap fucker.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

After I caught my X out with his ho-worker, having drinks until 1:30am (“we are just friends!”). Two days after I invited my girlfriend over to my home to talk. She brought me flowers!!!! My X gave me flowers twice in 20 years. That same day, he came home from work, and I kid you not, he said to me, “I wish someone would give me flowers.” He was totally serious. And being the Super Chump that I am, the next day I ordered flowers for him and had them sent to his work. So, he lied to me and went out for drinks date with his “friend”, but somehow he got me to buy him flowers! And he had the nerve to call me controlling! He had some freaky emotional control over me. I think of that now and I’m like, what the heck was I thinking?!!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

wow. The selfishness and hubris of cheaters never ceases to amaze me–“Hey, let me fuck my ‘friend,’ and then request you send me FTD!”

Annie Get Your Gun
Annie Get Your Gun
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

During wreconciliation he bought me a single red rose as we passed a vendor at a fair. I just burst out crying. I didn’t tell him why. It had been about 20 years since he bought me flowers.

Kellia
Kellia
7 years ago
Reply to  sadlady15

Narcissists are usually horrible gift givers, like the ones you describe. Are you sure your ex wasn’t a N or had some other personality disorder? It’s not weird when you understand he may have a personality disorder, this fits the pattern.

CAGal
CAGal
7 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

OMG – my ExH (signed the paperwork yesterday ya’ll!!!) was so weird about gifts. He would oscillate between giving people random objects that he could access easily on the cheap or he would just give them (too much) cash/gift card. I remember one year he somehow came to be in possession of logo jacket for some random Nascar driver. He was like this is nice jacket, and he decided to give it to his teenage nephew for Xmas. I was like “Is B even into Nascar?” (the kid seems to be into gaming and lives in New Jersey). But Ex was not to be swayed. “that’s nice jacket, that’s nice gift” he proclaimed. One year he decided everyone was going to get inflatable furniture because he had just imported a bunch from China for his business. I have the WORST hand eye coordination. Like super bad and nothing helps it. He got me golf clubs for my birthday one year. I am on record as saying “I will never garden. I don’t like to hang around the house and tend plants. I got stuff to do.” He got me gardening boxes for my birthday one year. The year he hand made his mistress coasters for her apartment he bought a Groupon and took me to dinner on a Groupon for my birthday. Or he would just freak out and get a random niece a $100 gift card for her birthday and then send another random nephew some sort of gaming paraphernalia that someone left at the office. So. fucking. weird.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  CAGal

Congrats on your full legal freedom, CalGirl!!

scotty
scotty
7 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

With gifts from Narcs, it’s not the thought that counts. It’s the complete and utter LACK of thought that really counts.

Kellia
Kellia
7 years ago
Reply to  scotty

I agree. One of my coworkers got a bag of rice from her boyfriend. She hated rice. Another one of my friends got an eye glass case with out the eyeglasses in it, and my friend didn’t wear eyeglasses. Talk about crappy gifts.

Annie Get Your Gun
Annie Get Your Gun
7 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

I read this very quickly, and paused and had to read it again. I thought it said he gave her a “glass eye.” Still laughing. I guess I should read slower, but with some of these people, a glass eye shouldn’t surprise me.

Shechump
Shechump
7 years ago

Oh GOD – I’m just rolling off my stool. I read it the same way! He gave you a glass eye and you didn’t need a glass eye. I’ll be hurting in the gut til I hit the hay tonight, but you guys are too funny to got to bed just yet.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
7 years ago
Reply to  scotty

Clap! Clap! Clap!

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  scotty

Love this!!!

scotty
scotty
7 years ago

An empty prescription bottle of Valtrex? Amoxicillin? Provenance: CVS

I kid, I dodged that bullet somehow, but I know some Chumps weren’t so lucky and received gifts that keep on giving from these jerks.
Smartass comment not meant to trigger or offend.

scotty
scotty
7 years ago

My actual submission would probably be the drawer full of ridiculous T-shirts with sayings like “Proud to be Awesome” and “What? I can’t hear you over the sound of my AWESOMENESS!” XW would come home with. It just goes to show how little she actually paid attention to who I am as a person. That’s not the kind of thing I’d wear. Ever. But they say Narcs often buy gifts not based on the receiver’s likes, but their own. I’m sure those T shirts were representative of how she felt about herself. Or it was her passive aggressive way of pointing out how awesome I really WASN’T in her eyes. She excelled at the passive aggressive gift. Needless to say, the tags are still on them. Maybe I’ll be AWESOME next time I’m painting a ceiling in my house.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
7 years ago
Reply to  scotty

LOL!

Dixie Chick
Dixie Chick
7 years ago
Reply to  scotty

I could use a few of those shirts to clean up the AWESOME puddles of pee my old kitty leaves all over the house.

scotty
scotty
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chick

LOL. Your kitty’s pee probably deserves better. The worst part about those shirts, in hindsight, is how bad I felt when I knew I didn’t like the gifts she bought me. Of course I didn’t say anything and probably hid it well but I still felt terrible on the inside. I wasn’t raised that way, when somebody gives you a gift, you like it. Ahhhhh. Nothing like being a codependent people pleaser. Past tense.

NorthLondon
NorthLondon
7 years ago

I would donate the pregnancy test kits I found (not once, but twice) in my ex-wife’s cupboard after DDay – when we hadn’t had sex in months.

Housechump
Housechump
7 years ago
Reply to  NorthLondon

Yep. North London. I too have a used pregnancy test from the STBXW. It’s evidence for proving her adultery at this point, but I quickly realized I was meant to find it.

I suggest North London, that that pregnancy test was “planted” by your cheater just to drive the knife further into your back right between your shoulder blades.

She’s saying to you: “That’s right NL, I’m fucking every man I can get my legs around. I almost cracked my pelvis riding this guy the other night. He’s a real man. He made me come 11 times in 15 minutes. You are a dead fuck, NL. I loved fucking him so much I let him raw dog me and come inside me.”

She’s a psycho bitch North London. Sorry you married a fuckturd.

Shechump
Shechump
7 years ago
Reply to  Housechump

Whoa, Housechump. Be a little easy there. Not everybody wants to hear those kind of TMI’s about their spouse.

It IS TMI, coming from a stranger – we have enough mind-movies as it is. 🙁
Thank you.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  NorthLondon

Ouch.

scotty
scotty
7 years ago
Reply to  NorthLondon

I’m sorry man. What a kick in the balls. I had similar experiences when I was a full rank Detective on the Marriage Police Force.

UXworld
UXworld
7 years ago

Brass Medium Pocket Compass. Engraved with the words “I’d Be Lost Without You.” Given as a Christmas present, December 2015, by someone who, after 15 years of marriage, navigated toward deceit, dishonesty, cowardice, and taking time off from work to invite people into our marital bed while our daughters were at school. Provenance: Stanley London, a division of Castle Navigation Inc.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Beyond sad

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

UX, I would reestablish the symbolic value of your brass compass….use it to find your new direction.

As for the engraving “I’d Be Lost Without You” – just scratch out the “out” in “without”. Good luck.

ICanAlmostSeeTheMeh!
ICanAlmostSeeTheMeh!
7 years ago

While he was already sourcing the OW at his CrossFit gym, Mr. Sparkles gave me a bronze sculpture of a couple holding each other (bronze for our 8th anniversary). Our marriage had been sexless for the last two years because of his using a picture from our wedding day on AFF and not being willing to get a blood test and wear a condom after I discovered the ad. Of course, I think it was sexless because he is Bi and he is a control freak narcissist, but I digress.

While he said the sculpture represented the love he felt for me and the relationship he wanted back with me, I could only look at it and think “WTF”?

He moved out 30 days laters for the OW.

I donated the sculpture to Goodwill… and then I sold my engagement ring and booked a trip to Hawaii with my 10yo son.

My only regret, not smashing Mr. Sparkles in the head with the sculpture as he moved out. But the upside is that I write this from the comfort of my breakfast nook and not prison 🙂

Have a great Friday CN. Let’s rock this day!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

To be completely honest DC and DANB… I also BOUGHT my engagement ring with stock options I had from the company I worked for… so I got the ring I wanted. I can’t tell you how often I looked at it and thought “was it really worth it?”… so I sold it for about 60% of what I paid for it (*lucky to have a jeweler friend and I was unloading it just before the holidays which is the peak buying season for diamonds!)

Dixie Chick
Dixie Chick
7 years ago

I sold my wedding ring but it only netted enough cash to take a trip to Walmart … which is appropriate since that is where he purchased it. This is a man who earns over 6 figures … cheap bastard.

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chick

After leaving court the morning my attorney and I proved up our divorce, I drove over to the chapel where we were married 20 years earlier. It was empty and quiet. I sat in a pew for an hour remembering our wedding day and thinking of all the years, the kids, and events that made up our lives and family. Then, I got an envelope, addressed it to “GOD,” and enclosed a letter and my ring. I sat it at the foot of the podium and left.

I basically told God I was giving my wife back to him at the place he gave her to me, that I wore that ring proudly and faithfully for 20 years, that I always loved my wife and considered my marriage a privilege, and apologized for not being able to go forward under the circumstances. My letter gave the ring to whoever found it, trusting that they could make better use of it than I could.

I know that sounds so sappy and dramatic now, over two years later, but I was a total disaster at that time. (Discovered she was a serial cheater for the vast majority of the marriage). I think I may have just needed something symbolic to tell myself it was over – because I had to force myself to divorce her even after I learned the horror story that was the truth. Maybe that’s part of the draw of The Museum of Broken Dreams – sort of a symbolic leaving of the relationship at the alter.

I am so grateful for wherever I found the strength to divorce (codependency on steroids). I’m certain it saved my life, and has given me a chance for one I would never have had. Leave a cheater, gain a life.

ZHUCHI
ZHUCHI
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

I one-day hope to meet a fellow chump who is a guy with a heart like yours. Thank you and all other Chump Brothers for being here.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK – your gesture was heartbreaking and poignant. I can’t for the life of me understand how people like we chumps end up with people who would read that and say, “He could have sold that ring and made some money on it!” After all this time, I’m still trying to figure out the reason such empathetic and sensitive people end up with selfish people who have the sensitivity of sand paper.

Shechump
Shechump
7 years ago

JK! I’m another one that is deeply touched by this. I have been sitting on some diamonds I want nothing to do with, nor do I want to try and sell them. You just gave me the best idea EVER~!!!! Thank you.
I am going to make a trek back to the Montana church we got married in 800 miles away – it’s a gorgeous church that is desperate for money. It is where my X’s family lives – and they like me.
And, I hate money because it drove my X nuts that he could NEVER get enough and hoard it away.

He NEVER gave me a gift, so I can’t add to those comments. He was a scrooge enough to ask me for my wedding ring back (the diamond) and the other huge diamond my g/f made him buy me for our 30th. Ha Ha Ha
That’s about 6 carats or something. pffft. Means nothing.

They are sitting in a box and I will never wear them, nor do I care to price them or get money from them.

I am now going to go and donate those, in an envelope, just like you did and donate them to that church.
I just LOVE finding answers on C/N – thanks so much for posting JK.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

God bless you, JK, I hope you have found peace and a much better life these days. 🙂 You are truly a good man!!!

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

Thank you all very much for your kind comments. If I ever go back to that chapel, I’ll leave a follow-up saying thanks for letting me find this site and the people on it:)

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

So genuine and touching. You have a beautiful heart! Thank you for graciously sharing your story.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

Thanks, JK. 🙂 I have reread what you wrote quite a few times. I’m crying again. It’s all just so sad. What these cheaters have done to us and our families……sometimes only tears can tell the story.

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Dear Martha – I’m sorry my post upset you. I probably opened the door too much in sharing that second paragraph. I wished I had deleted it soon after I posted.

Now, what I didn’t tell you was that the chapel was about to be remodeled when I went there that day. In short order, there was going to be scaffolding put up and workers tearing old stuff out and putting new stuff in. That place was going to look different than it had for the last 20 years – and it was never going to look the same again.

It made me sad back then. Everything was going to change when I walked out that door. I liked that chapel the way it was. It was comfortable and held good memories. I didn’t want it to change. But I realize now that it was time for that place to have a makeover. It needed and deserved to be restored and shine again, and be admired and respected for the marvelous place it is. I know you get the point. Cry like Hell, Martha. I did. Then pick up a hammer?

Housechump
Housechump
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK, fellow guy chump here. Your writing is so tender and yet resolute.

Don’t know if you’re spoken for…. but I’m free on the 4th of July!

(Just kidding, buddy. Lots of love for you here today, and I just wanted to add my thanks for your very real story of suffering and persistence. Well done.)

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

I’m glad you didn’t delete your post, JK. It was beautifully written and a deeply emotional gesture to put closure on your marriage. You were faithful, that ring was a symbol of your faithfulness, and giving it back to God must have been healing.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

Hi JK,

Please don’t apologize. I loved what you wrote. It was so beautiful. As you saw from all the comments you received from your post, you touched all of us female chump hearts. I can’t even imagine my now ex ever being even 1% sentimental over where we got married and our wedding rings; even our marriage, life and family together. It was all tossed in the garbage, where now everything that reminds me of him will go. So, please don’t monitor or regret that you wrote something. It’s a holiday weekend and everyone has said all the “firsts” will be tough, so I think that’s why I’m extra sensitive.

Like Newdaydawning above said, seeing male chumps post here gives me hope that not all men are cheaters and liars. 🙂

Wow, that’s interesting what you wrote about the chapel you got married in and it getting a make-over; I totally get your point! 🙂

Have a wonderful holiday weekend (that is if you live in the USA!)

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK, that’s not sappy or dramatic at all! That was beautiful. I’m a big believer in ritual and symbolic acts.

You’ve inspired me. The only symbolic act I’ve done so far is, after creating my Box of Broken Dreams, I took our Cinderella wedding cake topper (we were really young) out to the driveway and smashed it into a million bits. When the divorce is final in a few months, I’ll find something more like yours, a symbolic way to honor MY feelings and MY investment in the marriage.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK…. You are a good man. All you male chumps restore my faith. Thank you.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK – A wise minister once said to me: “As Christians, we want to believe that God brings us things/people. But God can also take away people/things that are harmful.”

I think you returning your ring in God’s house, where you first received it, was a great way to honor God and the commitment you made.

Your story is far from over and your XW isn’t capable of going where God is taking you. Keep the faith.

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

I don’t think that’s sappy or dramatic at all. It’s a beautiful story and a fitting way to symbolize the end of your marriage.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK- what you did and your recollection of it stuns me. I only hope I can find a partner In my post-cheater post-divorce life that has this type of care, morals, spirituality, and integrity.

My STBX doesn’t have one iota of any of these qualities, hence the divorce I was forced to file (after giving my STBX an entire year post DDay to snap out of it and leave the OW).

Wren
Wren
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

Beautiful and heartbreaking. I like how you told God that you gave it your best shot. I struggle with wondering why God brought us together, which I do believe for various other reasons.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

Wow, JK. Just wow. My heart hurts for what you went through. No doubt there are good things waiting for you up ahead.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

What a beautiful and meaningful way to end your good faith part of the marriage. Very classy too.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK, that is beautiful. You’re a class act.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

I’m crying for you and for me, JK. I like what you did with your ring. I’m sorry you ex-wife is a cheater. I hope you have found a great life for yourself.

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

This is not said enough thank you to all our brother chumps for being here with us. Guys hurt too. Lotta good guys in the world. I have two who are better brothers to me than my own and i love them both to death. I feel it is so nice to have a mans point of view.

kaycan
kaycan
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JK, that is truly beautiful! In time, if it is what you want, you will find someone who cherishes that genuine and earnest loving heart of yours. And she will reciprocate in ways you can’t even imagine.

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chick

I also sold mine and got only about half of what was paid for them. Such a rip off.

Dixie Chick
Dixie Chick
7 years ago

I could donate a box of those Hallmark figurines they put right by the register for clueless husbands to quickly select as they go through the motions of remembering anniversaries, birthdays, valentines day … because nothing says “I really thought about this gift” like a piece of colorful plastic from China. But they all went to Goodwill. Even when times were good, I had to bite my tongue and find an out of the way spot to put these things. He would have noticed if I had thrown them out because HE bought them and thus thought they had real sentimental value. Snort.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chick

Any bobbleheads? ‘Cuz that would remind you of X for sure.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

LOL … i think bobbleheads would actually have been more artistic then these pieces of junk, and that is really saying something. In the last few years, he started getting them for me used at the thrift store. All the money he saved is about to get transferred to me so i guess it all worked out for the best!

Calmafterstorm
Calmafterstorm
7 years ago

I would donate the half empty bottle of Herbal Male Enhancement Pills, advertised to make it HARDER, last LONGER, and make your partner BEG for more. God knows he wasn’t using them with me! Provenance…China by way of Amazon….ingredients grass clippings,sewage and god alone knows what.

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  Calmafterstorm

I shouldn’t laugh, but that made me laugh out loud.

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago
Reply to  Calmafterstorm

Hahahaha mine was only 30 years old and taking Deer Antler Velvet as an herbal supplement to improve his stamina and vitality! He used to blame me for lowering his libido and testosterone levels. hahahaha

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Horny Goat Weed was mine’s enhancer-of-choice. He never had trouble with ED but it requires extra energy to bang someone from Craigslist in the middle of the day and then come home and have date night with the wifey.

Divinelife
Divinelife
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

OMG….I have to stop reading now…I feel sick. Tempest, my nasty husband also had Horny Goat Weed. blech. The only good part about that is that I now call him (to his face) Horny Goat.

Wren
Wren
7 years ago
Reply to  Divinelife

Calling him horny goat- LOL

Divinelife
Divinelife
7 years ago
Reply to  Wren
Calmafterstorm
Calmafterstorm
7 years ago
Reply to  Divinelife

My god, that’s really a thing? I thought Tempest was being sarcastic!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Calmafterstorm

I was so amused at finding it when I packed up X’s stuff that I took a picture for posterity:

comment image

View post on imgur.com

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Annie GYG, I live in WNY.

Housechump
Housechump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Wait. Is it just me, or was there a cat paw in there?

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Housechump

No cats–we are a 5-dog, 4-fire bellied toad, 2-parakeet, 40-fish household.

Annie Get Your Gun
Annie Get Your Gun
7 years ago
Reply to  Housechump

I was scanning my AAA magazine this morning and they had a list of local restaurants to visit. I don’t cook so all are on my list to try, except one. The Angry Goat Pub. I’m thinking its customers base is disillusioned cheaters. I couldn’t stop laughing. Although it might me fun to poke some old goats. Western New York anyone?

Divinelife
Divinelife
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest – I see your horny goat week and raise you some “Skyn” condoms! LOL How do I post my pix? 😉

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Divinelife

I go to makeameme.com, upload picture & add words (if desired), save that photo, then go to imgur.com to make a picture that can be embedded in html. However, other posters may have more efficient methods?

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Thanks for the laugh, Tempest!!! 🙂 I needed it!

Annie Get Your Gun
Annie Get Your Gun
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

The things you learn on Chump Lady. Absolutely amazing.

Anita
Anita
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Can’t under that! Thanks Tempest 🙂

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

LOL, Sionara!

Sionara
Sionara
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

and that, my friend, is the title of your book

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  Calmafterstorm

Yes, horny goat weed is the actual name of an herb that’s used for increasing male sexual performance, and has been for hundreds of years. My ex also took it for a short time. Of course, as it turned out, my ex had no problem in getting horny for other people, especially if they were strange men in a gay bathhouse. It was just ME he didn’t get excited about.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Calmafterstorm

You can’t make this stuff up.

WhereisMia
WhereisMia
7 years ago

I’m ready to donate for display his prescription constant supply for Cyalis that kept arriving at my address during time of separating for ‘wreckonciliation” ?

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago

I would donate the library of self-help books that the Narcissist so sweetly gave to me over the years.

You see everything that was wrong was undoubtedly due to my personal inadequacies and not his Narcissism. He just wanted to help me be the “best version of myself” aka a step-ford wife that would continue feeding his ego. 🙂

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago

My xmas gift one year was a workout dvd entitled How to Get the Body You Always Wanted … my sister and i always laughed and substituted “Your Husband” for “You” in the title. Pretty damn insulting and I only weighef 120 pounds. Guess i wasnt toned enough for his liking.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago

OMG! I received the same thing, “How to feed and care for a husband” for Christmas one year, the selfish idiot always blamed the whole thing on me and bought me books to fix me, the last book I saw him buy, for himself, was “How to help your spouse get over your affair.” That made me so mad I almost hit him with it, since he didn’t buy until after 22 years of marriage and two years after the final dday (3 all together, but probably more I didn’t know about) that he tried to pin so unsuccessfully pin on me.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

Yeah, I read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, too. But I went to the library. Now I look back and think, “What a load of crap!” I bought into it’s “my fault” he’s unhappy. I spent our entire marriage taking care of him. Trying to “fix” myself, because the triangulation with all his “healthy female friends” made me feel “less than.” I honestly have no clue what more I could have done to “take care” of him? WHAT ABOUT ME? When did he ever really take care of me, besides financially, which I told him so many times, “Thank you so much for working so hard to take care of me and the kids.” I always appreciated how hard he worked for us. What a horrible book for laying all the blame on the woman for a failed relationship. A marriage takes two people to make it work.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Dr. Laura is the biggest misogynist that ever lived! Maybe it’s self-hatred? If I’m ever frustrated and need to take it out on someone, I turn on her program and let the f-bombs fly.

KellyP
KellyP
7 years ago

Wow, just Wow. You do know that Dr. Laura is an OW? So it totally makes sense that cheaters would love her advice.

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago
Reply to  KellyP

I recall that there was a nice warning at the front of the book that said something like “None of the advice in this book pertains to any relationships that are mentally/emotional/physically abusive or controlling in nature.”

I guess the ex didn’t read any of it before sending it my way!!

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago

i missed the warning too, as i refused to look at it book- still have a photo from that christmas when he gave it to me, the confused look on my face when I opened it says it all

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago
Reply to  KellyP

all we need is more guilt from Dr. Laura, like the X can’t make up enough on his own.

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago

OMG I got the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands too! Also the 5 love languages, how to deal with anger. Love is a choice. blah blah blah.

Waffles
Waffles
7 years ago

I brought both of those during my dancing days. I fucking chumped myself more than JAMF ever coulda. :/

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  Waffles

I bought so many of those books during my dancing days, too. Mainlined them during our short-lived wreckonciliation over the holidays. The night he ended it (again), I kicked him out (again), then trekked back and forth to the trash bin in the snow and threw them all away. First time I’ve ever thrown away books.

Waffles
Waffles
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

I donated my gigantic (30+) stack of save the marriage books to the library in my neighborhood. I used to manage a bookstore, I couldn’t have just tossed them, I’d have burst into flames. 😉

Linden
Linden
7 years ago

LOL. I had to read the Five Love Languages, too, and take the quiz. Ex expected that my love language would be gifts, but unfortunately for him it was quality time and affirming words, two things he couldn’t just buy and give me while secretly despising me as a materialist.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Linden

“quality time and affirming words”

I am cynical enough that I laughed at that–a cheater EVER giving affirming words? lololol
But deep down, it makes me sad that that is what you (and most of us) lived with–near-constant invalidation.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

The Sequel to “Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” with supplement.

View post on imgur.com

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

LOL!!!! 🙂

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

love!

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago

Yep, he was so desperate to have me read books like the love language, etc, that he bought digital versions and downloaded them to my phone! I deleted them all, not only that, but remember “Fireproof?” He bought that journal and gave it to me so I could do all those nice things for him, somehow that killed the whole point.

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago

Oh Man, I got Fireproof and had to watch the movie too!! Is there a Cheater/Narcissist best seller list somewhere that we are unaware of?!?!

Sunrise
Sunrise
7 years ago

I got “The 7 Things He’ll Never Tell You.” Just not the useful edition.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago

When my ex came around wanting to reconcile, he claimed it was because he had watched Fireproof and didn’t want to be like the doctor in the movie. Of course, as it actually turned out, he really wanted to reconcile because he thought I’d work full time and support him financially while he continued to cheat.

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

yep, mine lost his meal ticket too, in fact, I had to pay him to go away, thanks no fault state laws!

scotty
scotty
7 years ago

Geez. That’s not even passive-aggressive. That’s aggressive-aggressive.

I’d also like to donate the travel coffee mug that said “Is running late considered cardio?” You see because I’m occasionally late for trivial things and was trying to drop a couple. I mean yeah, it’s kind of funny and I’m very self deprecating…but with 20/20 hindsight it’s just another one that fits a pattern.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
7 years ago

I fled the marital home as if it were on fire when I moved out and left lots of stuff behind, including things he gave me, pictures, etc. so I don’t really have anything to donate. I did have a staggering collection of stuffed teddy bears that he gave me. Most of them were delivered to me at work and then I would get the third degree when I got home. He wanted to know how all my friends reacted to his awesomeness.

Last year I donated all of them to this place that helps abused children. The social workers found if they had a cute stuffed animal to cling to, while they were going through the process of telling what happened to them it made the child feel better somehow. It sounded like a great cause so I packed them up and sent them to their new home. I hope they gave comfort to the kids they were given to.

The only other thing I have left is my wedding bands which I intend to sell someday soon.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

That’s awesome. Good for you! I too remember when the Evil One would send random things up to me at work, then I would have to go on and on about everyone’s comments. Ugh!!!!! More like spackling, cause no one at my work liked him, didnt give give two shits about it.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
7 years ago

I would donate the champagne glasses from our wedding. I had them engraved with our names and the date. After the divorce was final, I broke them (and then threw them away because who wants to keep that shit?)

expatChump
expatChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Elizabeth

I did the same. Right after I filed for divorce.

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago
Reply to  Elizabeth

I broke mine, too! I wrapped mine in a towel and stomped on them. Did each one individually and videotaped it for my own pleasure. I also smashed our wedding cake topper and ripped up all of engagement, wedding, and anniversay cards except for the ones from his best friend and his cousin/mistress; I kept those just in case he wanted to accuse me of “throwing away his memories”. Funny story- one of the cards played “Here Comes the Bride”. After almost 21 years that sucker still worked! I grabbed a meat mallet and pounded that music chip to smithereens.

Renee
Renee
7 years ago

I destroyed all the stuff the OW had given to our family over the years–really expensive stuff. It takes a little more time and effort to tear up expensive stuff, but a determined woman can accomplish much. I’m sure the folks who purchased the house are probably curious about the divits in the driveway.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Renee

🙂 Divits in the driveway? That took some effort, but I’m sure it felt good!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

I guess I’m not the only one who destroyed some stuff. 😉 It felt so good and I don’t regret doing it one bit.

Linden
Linden
7 years ago

I’m keeping the wedding band in case I find myself in a hard spot and need some quick cash, but I could have donated a cross-stitch ex’s sister made for us with our wedding date and vows on it, if I hadn’t already thrown it away.

LIningUpDucks
LIningUpDucks
7 years ago

I got rid of most of my stuff, either donated, sold, or thrown in the dumpster. I’m sure when I unpack the final boxes I’ll find some delightful relationship reminders that would be good to donate.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

I tried to selly wedding dress and band via an eBay store that had been in town for a few years, and they closed their doors the next day and declared bankruptcy. Local authorities said there was no recourse for those who lost things.

Sounds about right. 🙂

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago

I would donate the platinum dipped rose in its decorative box that he gave me for our 20th wedding anniversary. He was so proud of that gift. He had researched it and everything. Found out that 20 years was platinum and went with a platinum dipped rose. He spent $100 on it and another $75 for the display box! Six months later he’s wiring money on a weekly basis to his cousin.

Special snowflake ha!
Special snowflake ha!
7 years ago

Ooh, I did start getting those! For Valentine’s Day…. The only time he would get me anything (seriously!) Delivered to the office along with chocolate covered strawberries so everyone could see how totally Awesome he was! I had 5 of those suckers. Smashed them to bits and threw them in a box as he was moving out! Guess he found them.

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago

Now see I would definitely take the chocolate covered strawberries. I might not have been so dismayed by the rose if chocolate covered strawberries accompanied it. LOL Then again I’m pretty easy. Give me an edible fruit arrangement and I’m yours. But not for our 20th wedding anniversary.

To be fair he’s not much into gifts and was hard to buy for. I ended up giving him 3 different expensive bottles of bourbon that year.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
7 years ago

Mine did that too….even with chocolate covered strawberries once or twice but mostly with Vermont Teddy Bears. Once of the times he sent chocolate covered strawberries was after dday. Someone I work with commented he must’ve done something bad to send those. I just smirked and said “trust me, ain’t enough strawberries, chocolate covered or not, on the planet to make up for what he did!”

When he sent gifts to work, I would get immediately harangued when I got home so he could hear about how impressed my co-workers were at his awesomeness. Funny how he wasn’t impressed with that last one!

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Yup I got a pair of $2500 earrings when he was cheating. Selling them now. ..

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago

Our vintage wedding cake topper, ca 1940. Damaged in move to chump’s new life: groom’s head popped off.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

by accident, I’m assuming ; )?

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

It really was! I packed everything up before D-day and didn’t unpack until over a year later. It really did break during the move, and it was so hilariously symbolic when I unwrapped it in my new home that I kept it.

kaycan
kaycan
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

Wow! That’s poetic justice. Love it.

sadlady15
sadlady15
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

That says it all Free Vixen doesn’t it?

Briana
Briana
7 years ago

I would donate the Disney world scrapbook that he gave me for Valentine’s Day during reconciliation attempt 1….he was texting pictures of my kids to the bitch whore and being abusive to me on that trip. Because only a true asshole can ruin the happiest place on earth.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Briana

No shit Brianna! My Exhole ruined a trip to Disney that I had spent a year planning. My daughter, SIL and our two grandchildren were there for the first time ever. Found out later that my Ex met up with Schmoopie there too! Found out he begged off going to the park one day so he could screw Schmoopie in the place I had rented! Happiest place my ass!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Holyyyyy shiiiiiit, Roberta!!!! Wow, what an asshole!!!

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago
Reply to  Briana

“because only a true asshole can ruin the happiest place on earth” hahahaha

geekmom
geekmom
7 years ago

Ex’s only interest was cars. I used to tease I was going to send him to the HENRY Ford Clinic to “dry him out.” Gifts tended to be odd.

I’d like to donate the travel sewing kit packed into a container that looks just like a sparkplug and the (2 pound!) necklace made of ball bearings strung on a chain.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

I would donate a box of 3 condoms, with 1 missing, in commemoration of said box of condoms, in which I discovered one was missing as Hannibal left for a conference 3 months after the wedding. Provenance: Trojan, via CVS.

(he made up some lame excuse about using it when he masturbated to see how it felt when I questioned him. The significance of the Missing Condom became clear only 19 years later, after discovery of his serial cheating.)

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Wow!!! This reminds me of years ago, we had been married/together about 4 years then, and i found a box of condoms in the cabinet above the ‘fridge with one missing, maybe two. I got the SAME story as you did Tempest!!

Ugh, asshole!!!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

No way, the same story?!? LOL, that must be in the Cheater Handbook, too! The handbook covers everything!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Yep, told me he had used the two to “test” them out before using them on me. Bullshit, lying, cheating bastard!!!!!!!

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

right, because every man is just dying to know what wearing a condom feels like?!? where do they even come up with this shit?!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

Totally!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

They really do all say the same crap. Gawd.

happily ever after
happily ever after
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Wow Tempest. This reminds me—I too found condoms (had hysterectomy AND tubal ligation) among the twu luv letters. I tapped them all over the Quadro

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
7 years ago

Laugh of the day right there!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

LOL, HappilyEA! Love the Condom-bedecked QDRO!

happily ever after
happily ever after
7 years ago

(Strange freeze uo of iPad). I addressed the doc to X McCheater and Mistress Girlchild (real names used) in big 72 bold font to arrive at the office. I just couldn’t remember the names and thought surely the office gossip would get it to the right people. ?

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago

Asswipe gave great gifts i will give him that. I donated the wedding outfits to habitat for humanity. Jewelry im keeping to sell if i need cash. Everything else i got rid of. Wait a fancy jar really pretty think i will put all memories of him in the jar and donate that.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

For the most part, my ex also gave me very nice gifts over the years. But at the nightmare Christmas that was only two weeks after final dday, he gave me a pink washcloth he bought at the drugstore. I left that behind when I moved out.

violet
violet
7 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

Same here. X was good at gifts, mostly jewelry because it didn’t take much time-the jeweler usually had something selected before he arrived. Strangely though, after 30 years, I was able to put most of X’s stuff in the back of his car when he left. He was never, ever involved in selecting furniture, art work or the like. In all the years of our marriage, I think we went to the mall together twice. From stereo equipment to cars, I was always the one who selected and negotiated our purchases. It was odd to look back and see how truly uninvolved he was with our daily life. I cannot remember him even so much as changing a light bulb. I don’t think he even knew how to run a washing machine. It was all done for him. I didn’t feel the need to throw much away because he really wasn’t connected to it. In every sense of the word, it was mine. I have saved the jewelry for my daughters and wear one piece that was given to me when my daughter was born. I wear it to remember her birth; it has no emotional connection to him.

MzIt'sJustBeginning
MzIt'sJustBeginning
7 years ago
Reply to  violet

Violet, could we have been married to the same cheater???? When I look at everything in my home, it is all mine…he had no interest in anything…except the remote control. He would fall asleep with his finger stuck on the porn channel……seriously , that is what he would say!!!! During divorce, he once said that the only thing he wanted was the rototiller….really????? You used it ONCE and now you were somehow interested in gardening!!!! Or did he want it to just continue churning up lies and sh**?

zyx321
zyx321
7 years ago

Box of word magnets and a card from then husband’s university (was a graduate student): this was my anniversary gift for our 5th anniversary. This was after pseudo DDay when I was gaslighted into believing there was no affair, just an obsessed fellow grad student. I found these items in a drawer after ex moved out.

Clearly, in hindsight, purchased last minute at the bookstore, and also in hindsight, ex was not engaged in the marriage. Sigh. We stayed together for another 13 years with two more pseudo DDays. Truth finally came out in MC which I dragged him to when he simply wanted to walk away after 18 yrs of marriage and 23 years together..

phoebenix
phoebenix
7 years ago

I would donate the “comfortable slippers” that my ex gave me for Christmas one year. Upon close observation I noticed the tag said they were “men’s” slippers. How glamorous!

ANR
ANR
7 years ago
Reply to  phoebenix

They’d go nicely with the comfy tartan women’s pyjamas my ex-wife gave me for Christmas one year.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  ANR

Lol … Or with my flannel jammies covered with llamas that were 3 sizes too big!! Clearance rack? Room to grow??

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

It was for when you bulked up after obsessively using the exercise DVD that you mentioned above.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Ha Ha … You are so funny!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Hahahahahaaaaa!!!!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
7 years ago

I suppose I could donate the old AA book he left behind, how about a 100+ collection of empty DVD movie cases (cos he removed all the DVDs). Still need to go sell the fugly ring and other bits of jewelry, not worth very much. Already sold all the tools he didn’t use…

happily ever after
happily ever after
7 years ago

I did try to donate my mother’s 1939 wedding dress that I also wore to a museum at TWU. oops. They only collect First Ladies dresses and quite possible I was not his First Lady. So I boxed it up gave it to my daughter for her girls since it is a family heirloom. Thank goodness he took the ugly antique display case. The ring has a giant flaw in it so probably has no value. Kinda like X.

Traveling the World
Traveling the World
7 years ago

Oh, so many choices here!
There’s the book about selecting wines I got for my birthday, except I didn’t drink wine.

There’s the 100+ items of makeup she left that she never wore, at least around me, or the fancy underwear I never saw her in. All of it was reserved for one of the OM.

I would donate the box of pictures I found of the first OM, but I burned it all in the fire pit.

Happily never after
Happily never after
7 years ago

I found a cd full of pix of girl child and her spawn. With the love letters. Those are in an envelope addressed to my kids so they can have a “Bridges of Madison county” moment. They know about this package. And if X so much as try’s to spin the story they are getting this package early.

HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
7 years ago

The very large, hardback, illustrated book : “How to raise Goats”. I kid you not….pun intended.

Informal
Informal
7 years ago

I would donate the hammock and stand that I gave him on our first anniversary along with a card about the wonderful laid back years we have ahead. He never gave me anything. I continued gifts and nice meals for years. Then it moved to me choosing a restaurant that I thought he would not complain about, dressed nicely (never a compliment), waited for him to come home (from where he basically lived with a friend 10 years younger from a party pad). When he picked me up, he drove100 mph there, still complained about dinner, drove me 115 mph back, sat and stared at me as I got out of the car, backed up and went back to his party pad. I let that happen about three years until I decided never again. After DDay, he suddenly reminded me we have an anniversary coming up. I told him I was through with those and if it was important that he could plan it. No celebration there!
He never put the hammock up. I finally put it up when we had kids and he complained it would be ruined. It was bought to be used. He was like that with a lot of thing the kids and I bought him. They had no meaning for him even though we were careful to choose things we knew he wanted because we actually paid attention. Anyway, when I got to go back, I couldn’t find the stand, but I took the hammock. I have the perfect place to hang it or if the thought is too much I can sell, burn, or now donate it.
I could also add his empty viagra bottles that were in someone else’s name.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Informal

It might be nice to keep the hammock. It was your loving heart and thoughtfulness that chose it.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

How could I forget the illustrated book from his undergraduate days–The Gentleman’s Alphabet book?

With limericks for each letter of the alphabet, such A is for Aphrodisiac, B is for Bestiality, …D is for Deviate, …F is for Flagellation…M is for Masochist (that one rings true for me, having stayed married to him for 19 years)….W is for Whoremonger (‘nuf said).

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Speaking of books, I would donate her book – 50 Shades for Grey – which I recently found on my bookshelf. I believe it still had the library check out card still in it. I remember she was reading that book right after my dday which was years and years ago.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Justice would be that she tries to cross a border and is arrested for unpaid library fines.

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
7 years ago

I would donate my sex addict’s dick in a pickle bottle but it’s still attached to him…

Annie Get Your Gun
Annie Get Your Gun
7 years ago
Reply to  CalamityJane

We could find a really big pickle bottle and donate the whole ex.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

lol! 🙂

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago

Love this idea!!!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

THIS!!!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  CalamityJane

I’m sure ChumpNation can help with that…

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Calamity, the museum said they won’t display items as small as a gerkin pickle. Just put it in the garbage disposal!

Housechump
Housechump
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

There’s actually a new installation of pickled penii in the museum. Here’s one of the crowd favorites.

We also received a donation from someone with the initials “CJ,” but we’ll need an electron microscope to get the full experience.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

“Like” x’s a thousand!!!!! Hahahahaa

MzIt'sJustBeginning
MzIt'sJustBeginning
7 years ago
Reply to  CalamityJane

Love!!

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago
Reply to  CalamityJane

Hahahaha! Good one!

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
7 years ago

In the 26 years we were married, I received 2 gifts I loved from him. One was a ruby ring that I will eventually sell and the other was a nicely crafted bird house. He refused to mount the bird house where I wanted it in the yard and then he made a big fuss about it with the MC about how ungrateful I was when he gave it to me. So I’ll either sell it or take out my aggression on with an ax – I haven’t decided which yet.

I did donate the excessively large collection of nails and screws he had collected over the years. When we needed a nail or screw for something, he would go to the store and buy several new boxes rather than look through what we had to find what he needed. He also had about 50 old Hanes t-shirts saved for rags, cause you never know when you might need one. Trash. Then there was the box of used auto parts meaning, used oil filters, etc. that you would never use again. Pure crap. I put that box with his stuff but he left it for me, of course. Just thankful to be rid of him.