Nicole Kidman Can’t Believe Friends Kept Keith Urban’s Alleged Cheating from Her
Was Keith Urban cheating on Nicole Kidman? Sure looks that way. And their friends probably knew it before Nicole did.
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Raise your hands, CN, if people in your circle knew you were a chump before you knew you were a chump. Oh, is that nearly all of you?
News broke last week that Nicole Kidman filed for divorce from Keith Urban. Speculation immediately began that a certain Ozzy dick was wandering. But not before the casual misogyny articles appeared subtly blaming Kidman for taking a bunch of sexy roles (over 50!)
Who was Keith Urban allegedly cheating with?
Internet sleuths were quick on the Schmoopie trail, noticing that Urban changed the lyrics from his song “The Fighter” (which he wrote for Kidman) and dedicated them to a young member of his band, Maggie Baugh.
Instead of warbling, “When they’re tryna get to you, baby I’ll be the fighter,” he changed it to, “When they’re tryna get to you, Maggie I’ll be your guitar player.”
Swoon! What girl doesn’t want a greasy-haired, Australian man baby who wouldn’t know what country music is if Hank Williams rose from the dead and gave him a kidney? Keith, substance abuse doesn’t make you a country Western star. Wash your hair.
But take heart, Maggie. When people call you a homewrecker, he’ll defend you with his guitar! And isn’t that worth being twinkie du jour?
Who knew about Maggie?
Cosmopolitan magazine reports:
A couple things happened on September 30: 1) News broke that Keith Urban is dating someone new amid his split from Nicole Kidman, and 2) Nicole went ahead and filed for divorce.
And according to Rob Shuter’s ShuterScoop, she thinks Keith’s closest friends were keeping his infidelity a secret for him.
“Nicole feels blindsided not just by Keith but by the silence of the whole group,” a source says. “She can’t understand how no one gave her even a hint—not Blake (Shelton), not anyone.”
The Blake Shelton who (allegedly) cheated on Miranda Lambert and Gwen Stefani? That Blake Shelton? Protecting the wandering dick privileges of a fellow faux country hack? Say it isn’t so!
Nicole, welcome to our chump world. Sit on the Ethereally Beautiful Woman settee with Christie Brinkley, Beyonce and Shakira. Someone pass the snacks.
Conspiracy is part of the chump condition.
This never seems to come up in those Esther Perel articles. How betrayal isn’t limited to your partner, but encompasses your entire family and friend world, as you learn who knew, or suspected, and never told you. Some apologize later. Some avoid you. But the worst become Switzerland friends and feign neutrality. We love you both. (Air kisses!)
Love is telling a person the truth about their reality. Love does no harm. It’s not letting Nicole Kidman go to award ceremonies and be the giddy, supportive wife to the duplicitous FW.
I’m glad she filed immediately. She survived one FW, Tom Cruise. She’ll survive another.
Being a Hollywood megastar, there’s probably a lot of pressure on Kidman to not appear Bitter. Shakira at least got to write her diss track, but all an aging actress can do is eat the shit sandwich of conscious uncoupling and hope her profession doesn’t reject her like her FW husband just did.
Cue the misogyny of “Well, what did she expect? He’s a musician, surrounded by adoring fans! Sure it’s a bit icky that Maggie is young enough to be his daughter. But that’s men for you. Now, let’s pivot back to the obscenity of a woman over 50 having an orgasm on screen.”
I am not Hollywood.
I am Chump Lady.
Nicole, if you’re reading, Keith Urban was always beneath you. I know you bred with him, and probably feel flinchy and protective of him. But he was always dragging you down, from the first year of marriage when you had to stage a sobriety intervention for him. Everything you’ve accomplished, you accomplished in spite of his narcissistic, addict chaos.
He was never that deep. Maggie’s not that deep. She’s just next.
There’s always a next with these freaks.
Be glad you’re not the freak. Heal up.
CL, a lovely post for Nicole Kidman. X
I am grateful that friends didn’t know first. I hadn’t considered that scenario, but oh that would so amp up the constant nausea. I can’t imagine.
I’m going to rename my shabby, pre-loved chaise lounge ” The Ethereally Beautiful Woman’s Settee”. I LOVE the sound of that! And the thought of it will warm my soul I’m sure, as I sit there drinking tea and looking out the window (with or without rocking backwards and forwards…).
MCC
It’s sad, but nothing shocks me anymore. Ex FW’s brothers knew. All I heard is “he told us he had stopped [patronizing prostitutes]”. In the meantime it was fine that both my health and the health of our unborn daughter was risked. For what? The possibility of an intact family? That their brother’s unilateral poor decision making wouldn’t ever come to light and his wife would just continue on in the darkness, losing her mind but not ever knowing why? Screw that. “The shame must switch sides.”
Maggie Baugh F@@@ing her way to the top.
I continue to be amazed at how much psychological damage my Switzerland friends have inflicted on me by aggressively hinting that I should be friends with my cheating ex, and that we should all hang out together, papering over the fact that they knew more about his activities than I did (how much, I will never know) and suggesting that I am bitter, or depressed, or whatever suits their narrative. I have repeatedly told them I need space, but their texts continue to intrude on my hard-won peace of mind (there are reasons I haven’t blocked them yet — but that day is probably coming). It’s exhausting; I wish the Internet contained fewer so-called advice columns telling people it’s best to be neutral when friends in their circle divorce.
I am still friends with my ex’s sister (albeit awkwardly, and without much contact), and my young adult kids are trying to navigate keeping their relationships with both me and my ex — but those are the only people in my book who get a pass on choosing a side. (And they themselves have told me they are horrified by ex’s behavior.) Otherwise, if you are OK with hanging out with my ex, you are OK with him cheating, lying, and destroying our family life, and that is not OK with me.
I hope Nicole’s career allows her at least six months to avoid interviews. Her spokesperson can refer questions about his behavior directly back to him (thank you Melinda French Gates).
She’s allowed to set boundaries with family, friends and associates explaining a decision to distance herself from anyone who has not had her well-being in mind.