Schadenfreude Snark

Yesterday’s breakout moment, about the perils of breaking no contact, was Tbone’s assertion that if she hadn’t looked at her ex’s social media, she never would’ve known “that my ex proposed to his new wife over takeout from Chik-fil-A. Hahahahaha.”

Not to be outdone, Sunny replied with an epic hashtag riff:

#HowCanYouSayNoToJeebusChicken
#WaffleFriesFTW
#KeepingItClassy
#LadyKillerWithNinjaTakeoutMoves
#DatLemonadeTho
#ChikFilAMakesMeMoistLikeTheirNuggets
#SayYesToTheWatercress (Salad, that is)
#LowBudgetKeepsExpectationsLow

What, did he get the ring out of one of the candy machines in the front lobby before he picked up his order?

A Fun Friday Challenge was born.

I must have more of this snark.

Your mission is to find some nugget of schadenfreude you’ve enjoyed in this shit show, and hashtag it.

Is your ex a bad gift-giver to Schmoopie?

#MicrosoftOffice #youshouldnthave

#STDs #noreally

Did the cheater marry someone else that wasn’t the OW?

#alwaysafuckbuddy #neverabride

You get the idea.

Snark away! We may all return to Meh on Monday.

TGIF!

 

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Chumperella
Chumperella
5 years ago

#romanticallywalkingthedogdrunk
#nothingsayssexylikepukinginataxi
#whyohwhydomychildrendespiseme
#buyingyourwifeahousetokeepitofffacebook
#homewreckingyourownhome

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

????????????????????

Mustard Seed
Mustard Seed
5 years ago

#drunktextingwhilethechildrensleep

Megan
Megan
5 years ago

My 39 year old husband cheated on me with a 19 year old he met through work. I thoroughly enjoyed telling him all the places where I wouldn’t run into him since she isn’t old enough to get in. And that he better not have his 40th birthday party at a bar because she couldn’t be there, or that in another two years he could throw her a really nice 21st birthday party!! When he found out she was pregnant ( about a month after their affair was exposed) he proposed and I told him congratulations for doing the “right thing” since he ruined her life too.

Ell493
Ell493
5 years ago
Reply to  Megan

Gross, vomit! That dumb young girl doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into. I’m sure her parents are very proud **eyeroll**.

kellia
kellia
5 years ago
Reply to  Megan

Megan – That’s really bizarre a man pushing 40 is going after someone who was a teenager 5 minutes ago. This guy really has a few screws loose. Women close to his age wouldn’t touch him, so he had to go after a child. It’s really disturbing. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Chumpacha
Chumpacha
5 years ago
Reply to  kellia

Try 53 and going after a 20 year old stripper

phillygirl93
phillygirl93
5 years ago
Reply to  Megan

#daddyissues
#youcanbuyherherfirstdrink
#peoplewillthinkyouareherfather

OptionNoMore
OptionNoMore
5 years ago
Reply to  phillygirl93

#leftthebabyhomewithdaddysoicanparty

Babs the Chump
Babs the Chump
5 years ago
Reply to  OptionNoMore

Oh my god this is going to be sooo true!!!!! I live for the day Megan hears about that!!!!

Chumperella
Chumperella
5 years ago
Reply to  Megan

#middleagedshotgunwedding
#timeforpropecia
#viagrapoppinfool
#rockingawalkeratyourkidsgraduation

KeepItMoving
KeepItMoving
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

#grandpadaddy

ItAintMe
ItAintMe
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

“#timeforpropecia”
I’m dead!! Hahaha!!

Gonegirl
Gonegirl
5 years ago

Well, my ex cheated on a woman 14 years older than me, 12 years older than him. She is now 59 ( or 60 maybe?) and he is 47.

I told him, “You’re going to wiping her a$$ one day.” and “At least you don’t have to worry about her getting pregnant, she’s already gone through menopause.”! Some of my better come backs!

#loveknowsnonumber
#rodehardputupwet

geekmom
geekmom
5 years ago
Reply to  Gonegirl

My ex married OW, 14 years older than me; she’s 73 to his 65.
#mrscryptkeeper

And he married her with a ring he stole out of my jewelry box.
#heputmyringonit

Gonegirl
Gonegirl
5 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

My ex did the same thing! Stole my engagement ring and gave it to her!

#mustlovehandmedowns

Waffles
Waffles
5 years ago
Reply to  Gonegirl

Same here. Owife has no clue that when they get divorced, that ring goes with him.

#reuserecyclerepurpose
#perfectlygoodring

NurseMeh
NurseMeh
5 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

Ahahahahaha!

#SecondHandHoes

ChumpChange
ChumpChange
5 years ago
Reply to  NurseMeh

#secondhandhoes
????????????

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
5 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

Oh, wow! He’s a classy one!

Lulutoo
Lulutoo
5 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

Geek mom, a ring he stole from you! That is SO funny!

Chumplanta
Chumplanta
5 years ago
Reply to  geekmom

bwahahahahahahaha

AllOutofKibblr
AllOutofKibblr
5 years ago
Reply to  Gonegirl

#SpousesGetFreeAARP
#RockThatSeniorDiscount

KeepItMoving
KeepItMoving
5 years ago
Reply to  Gonegirl

That is the barb that I am saving if the OWife ever starts anything with me publicly: “How are your adult diapering skills?! Because Peepaw here has no retirement, boo! Hope you don’t mind wiping up your lover’s ass because he’s not going in a care facility!”

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Gonegirl

#grandmagotrunoverbyareindeer

David
David
5 years ago

For years my wife was

#mrschristmas

She bored myself, the kids, her extended family, her friends & social media in general with her Christmas obsession (you know the type, starts posting the Christmas countdown clock daily on FB starting on 26th December)

Imagine my sheer delight when I discovered yesterday that

#schmoopiedoesntdochristmas

Joy to the world!

unicornomore
unicornomore
5 years ago
Reply to  David

Cheater bemoaned that I wasnt as outdoorsy as him…didnt want to climb mountains.

OW couldnt ride a bike or swim.

#sothereMrOutdoors

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
5 years ago
Reply to  David

#NoPineconeElvesForHer
#TinselYourHeart
#HisPresenceIsHerPresent

Jojobee
Jojobee
5 years ago
Reply to  David

People who are insincere about religious holidays PISS ME OFF.

Robin
Robin
5 years ago
Reply to  David

#deck-no-more-halls
#inthe-new-old-not-so-christmasway

I hope you have a Merrier Christmas without her!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  David

#howthegrinchstolechristmasandmycheatingwife

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

lol

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  David

“Joy to the world!” — LOL 🙂

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago
Reply to  David
Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
5 years ago

Some of those would work for the OW too.

Blyatman
Blyatman
5 years ago

Oh come now, we all know the truely patrician gift choice is the tie-dye license plate frame

Amanda
Amanda
5 years ago
Reply to  Blyatman

I have never seen a tie-dyed number plate cover, why would you want to cover your number plates? Pretty funky, lol

LilyInTheForest
LilyInTheForest
5 years ago

The OW wants a child.
My still-husband cannot have children, so she will need IVF.
My STBX doesn’t want children. He just angrily told me he will take care of that “later”.
Like “later after she moved to another country to be with me”. She will turn 36 soon.

#IVFtriplets
#HeHasPotential

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
5 years ago

#GenePoolLifeguardOnDuty

Duped
Duped
5 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

I wish there was a like or love button for comments.

phillygirl93
phillygirl93
5 years ago

Oof, that is a shitshow in the making. I’ll start popping the popcorn for CN.

Kintsugi
Kintsugi
5 years ago

Wow.

If she hadn’t taken my husband, I’d feel compelled to warn her.

But the homewrecking whore doesn’t deserve to bring kids into her disfunctional sphere.

#chalkoneupforhumanity

LilyInTheForest
LilyInTheForest
5 years ago
Reply to  Kintsugi

I did try to warn her, but she was in denial.
My STBX did exact same sh*t to me. Mirroring (“I want as many children as you want”), making stupid assumptions (“but you were on the pill”), letting me make ‘reasonable’ assumptions (“not now”= later?).
I feel for her. She’s in love and doesn’t see the ship is sinking.

Honeyandthehomewrecker
Honeyandthehomewrecker
5 years ago

That’s my story in reverse. Mine ditched me with a one and two year old in tow to go have fun sexy freedom with a stripper he met while working out of state. She (by his own sheepish admission) man-trapped him with not one but two newborns within their first 3 years together. #diapersnottassels #funtimesover

Luziana
Luziana
5 years ago

I was FB friends with my stepdaughter but no one else in Cold Slab’s orbit. I had not looked at his FB for two years. I saw his profile pic on a comment and it was a little baby that looked a very much like my stepdaughter but I hadn’t seen that newborn picture before.

I clicked on it and that is how I found out an Extramarital Baby had been conceived during my marriage. The timing did not add up at all. Stepdaughter has been instructed during the pregnancy not to mention it before the dissolution was final.

I contacted him with a WTF and he just lied and lied. What else did I expect?

But the one time browse DID give me evidence of epic scale child support drama, new hypotenuse and serious money troubles, so my end result was a sigh of relief that I stepped out of that mess at the right time. I just wish it was before he gave me HPV and then Stage 1 Cervical Cancer. But hey, at least they cannot afford a vacation!

I have never looked at that circus again! It really is not worth the WTF factor.

Sarah P.
Sarah P.
5 years ago
Reply to  Luziana

Luziana,

#cervicalcanceristhebestchristmaspresent

#cervicalcancernevergoesoutofstyle

#cervicalcanceristheperfectaccessoryforthecervix

#hesworeonthebiblehedidnotcheat

Cervical cancer a gift that is too memorable to forget. Please know I say this in gest.

I was heading into stage 2 when I found out.

I was stupid and thought that we were in a monogamous relationship. He told me we were; he read his Bible and he didn’t believe in sin. I was stupid and believed it.

As soon as I found out about the OW and her promiscuous behavior, I RAN to my OB/GYN. I had seen the doctor for a while and was always clean of all STD’s and always had clean paps.

But let’s go backwards…before I found out about OW, I got lazy and skipped a couple of years of screens.

After I found out there was an OW, I ran to the doctor. I was waiting on the edge of my chair waiting for the AIDS results. Those were negative.

Then the doctor dropped the bomb. Cervical cancer. We looked through my records and talked about my personal history (I was ????% monogamous) The MD ascertained that I got it from OW. And this was during the holiday season.

While other people were getting jewelry and new coats I was getting news of cervical cancer. As the Church Lady from SNL said, “Well isn’t that special?”

I sure hope your doctor got you healthy. My doctor did, thank goodness. But, I will NEVER forget the experience of having almost all of my cervix removed.
It’s one of those experiences up there with being hit by a train. Only you didn’t park on the tracks and the train didn’t betray you.

#hopefullyhisdickfallsoff

I hope you are well.

Sarah

Luziana
Luziana
5 years ago
Reply to  Sarah P.

Sarah, My colposcopies are clear so far after the LEEP Procedure, and other than the expense I have had no symptoms. I’m okay with a hysterectomy if need be!

It IS the most lovely gift for years of monogamy. I get to lose my fertility so that Cold Slab can sow his. and pay Child Support until he’s eligible for Social Security. Hope she enjoys those genital warts he convinces everyone are “skin tabs”. He’s a giant Skin Tab I excised from my life!

MissBailey
MissBailey
5 years ago
Reply to  Luziana

#oncealoseralwaysaloser

I look back (just like you) at the men we once loved, and I just want to shake myself. What the hell were we thinking??

Anita
Anita
5 years ago
Reply to  MissBailey

I’m with you, about the exes. I would not touch any of them with a ten foot pole. It’s great to know I’m not harboring feelings for any of those losers. Especially Whore Mongering Cheater. He disgusts me.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  MissBailey

#metoo

Putting aside all he did to me for 23 years — he’s no longer attractive to me and hasn’t been for four years. What made him attractive to me was his “nice guy” mask that he wears most of the time. I’ve seen the mask fall completely off three times and the real him is ugly to the core. I wish I would have believed this is the real him when the mask fell for the first time way back in 1992. What was I thinking? Well, I was in shock and still believing the lies. Lesson learned to believe who someone is the first time they show you!!!

nomar
nomar
5 years ago

#WarcraftRomance
#CheapVegasHookup
#IFuckedATrollPriest
#45YearOldTeenagers
#BustedByMy12YearOld
#ICantBelieveHeFiled
#OopsLostAllWeBuilt
#OhWellNewDudeWillDoIGuess
#LiterallyMovedIntoHisParentsBasement

littlesigns
littlesigns
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Troll Priest story!!!!! tell it. you gotta tell it.

Chumperella
Chumperella
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Oh. My. God. Now you totally have to tell the troll priest story!

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Stop. Cannot. Breathe.

Hilarious.

CC
CC
5 years ago

#parentingforanother8years
#twoundertwo
#finallyforcedtoparent
#nomorehappyhours
#youthoughtIwascontrolling

Sailing
Sailing
5 years ago
Reply to  CC

#youthoughtIwascontrolling

This one is my favourite.

Geden
Geden
5 years ago
Reply to  Sailing

My ex wife accused me of not being around enough , like working 2 jobs was no excuse. The OG joined the navy right after our divorce…..ROFL

Sailing
Sailing
5 years ago
Reply to  Geden

Schadenfreude is delicious!

May his first posting be a five year tour of war zones!

CC
CC
5 years ago
Reply to  CC

To the OW:

#hereallyISbadwithmoney
#heowestheIRS
#imfilingforarrears
#dontcallmewhenyoufinallydiscoverthelies
#hesyourproblemnow
#hesusingyouformoney

My daughter saw a text on my ex’s phone where the ow was mad that he hadn’t made an effort to change some behavior and called him a selfish person. Lololol

Don’t have kids with people you don’t really know or jump into a situation you don’t really know.

#heleftawifewithcancer
#helldothesametoyou
#selfishat44selfishforever

But according to her he has changed and realizes what he needs to be for his family.

#ifyouhavetochangeeverythingaboutthemitsnotreal
#raisinganadult

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago

Oh, my STBXH is first generation American. His parents are from Germany. And nothing says “Ich liebe dich” like a big dose of schadenfreude.
Speaking of German concepts, our sailboat is named “Zufrieden”, which means “carefree”. I might decide to change the name of the boat to “Scheisskopf”. At midnight. With spray paint.

Sadly I don’t have much to share except that he told me recently he is not happy, that he is angry at himself. He told me he had been unhappy for years when I found out about the affair. News to me and our little girl. She and I are going to be processing trust issues for years to come because of that acting job alone. I am relishing the fact that now I am no longer the convenient scapegoat for him to hang his issues on. Oh, so I guess it was YOU?

Jane
Jane
5 years ago

Scheissekopt just made my internet time genug.

trying for mighty
trying for mighty
5 years ago

scheisskopf…mit schlag

inescapable
inescapable
5 years ago

Hahaha. I am German myself, so Scheisskopf is a great name. So would be Flachwichser. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves with swear words.
Happiness this undefinable concept is what drives all their actions. And then they need a scapegoat to blame everything on. And the constant need to be admired.

I got the “I have not been happy and hated my life for 15 years.” And of course I am the root cause for everything. He only remembers the bad things. Anything positive is completely filtered out.

And then the contradictions. He describes me as the worst person ever: anger issues, mistreating everyone around me, constantly yelling. And then the same evening he asks if we can stay friends. If I was half as bad as you said, why would you want to be friends with a person like that.

I am done with his entitlement and inability to learn from the past and only blame others.

The only Schadenfreude-Story I have is:
He is losing his air. it is visibly thinning in the front. He, who for years, has bragged how everyone is going bald but him. Ha.

And the other day, he was bragging without need that he is a better artist than his brother. And my daughter (13) looked at him and said: Did you see Uncle D.’s drawings? He is way better than you.

#Becarefulwhatyoubragabout
#Noonewantstohearhowgreatyouare

Merry X-mess
Merry X-mess
5 years ago
Reply to  inescapable

Wirklich? Can a Schlappschwanz be a Flachwichser? Anyway, sounds like your Ex was a real Arschgeige…

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago
Reply to  Merry X-mess

Danke for the new German nicknames for my STBXH!

Lania
Lania
5 years ago

Who would have thought that language learning could be so informative?

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Lania

Fun isn’t it, but you probably shouldn’t try those words out on your holiday in Germany!

Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
Velvet Hammer ????????❤️
5 years ago

Oh, I forgot! Here’s some OW schadenfreude! While the cheating accomplice has created a FB page shrine to him, he is on Tinder and racking up the frequent flier miles at illicit massage parlors….

#youtoo
#yourproblemnow
#nothingspecial
#sexaddictspermreceptacle
#justablowupdoll
#mrandmrsvillageidiot
#velvethammergetstobezurfrieden
#neenerneenerneenerhahaha

Martha
Martha
5 years ago

This >>> #velvethammergetstobezurfrieden

You go girl!!!

And Velvet Hammer, it’s a lie that he hasn’t been happy for years. He’s fxcking with your mind and heart. My ex said, “I haven’t been happy in ten years BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IT.” I had absolutely no clue he was unhappy and our marriage was just the opposite of unhappy. He always told me how perfect I was and how well I took care of our family. He beamed when he looked at me at home and in public. I don’t believe his lie. He’s just a serial cheater and he got caught. End of story. Don’t believe the lie that he was unhappy. If he was unhappy, he should have told you so you both could adult and work towards fixing whatever was making him happy.

Hope
Hope
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Thank you for this! I struggled for a complete YEAR, blaming myself because my Ex also told me (at the discovery of his affair) that he “had not been happy for TEN years!” And, it is bullshit. He was the guy that all of my friends wanted to clone, and we were “happy”. 20 years into it, happy…not “everything is NEW and exciting” happy… you can keep that affair fog!
It took a long time for me to stop the pick-me-dancing and realize that it wasn’t ME, but HIM… and how can anyone say they hadn’t been happy for TEN YEARS? Hell, I ten months is too long… what they really mean is, that real life takes over the new and shiny, and I didn’t really want to put the work into our marriage, so I’ll take my ball and go play over here, with a new friend, that doesn’t know the real me…YET. Have fun with that!

FreeNow
FreeNow
5 years ago
Reply to  Hope

Gah! They are so disordered! Just before I kicked him out he drew a heart and filled in our initials and wrote 34 years of bliss for our wedding anniversary. He posted it on social media for all to see how much we were in love. A few months later he said he hadn’t been happy for years (maybe 10…though he wasn’t exactly sure) and wasn’t in love with me. Oh, and he wouldn’t be able to take care of me on my cancer journey because he and 20 year younger Backpage massage parlor whore schmoopie were trying to have a baby together. He said, “it’s what she wants” and I love her.

#serialcheaterscaughtinlies
#itsnotmyfaultihaveaBAincommunicationsbutcan’tcommunicate
#whyyousomean?
#MeandmeandmeIdeservetobehappy
#6FidelityaccountsthatonlyIcanaccessbutI’mnothidinganything
#14gallonsofScope
#2casesofwetwipes;what?
#Freshbreathcleangenitalsatalltimes;just Incase
#Whyyousomeanandwant50%Can’tyoujustdieofcancer?

#Nowhe’susingthewetwipesforheandwhoresbaby
#How’shisfoulbreathandgrandpadaddygrayshriveledparts?
#Grandpaof3newdadmeetyournewunclekids
#How’sthatexternalsearchforhappinessgoing?

Me; meh.

ThursdaysChild
ThursdaysChild
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Ok, what is it with the 10 years? My cheater claimed he hadn’t been happy for 10 years and since dday #2 Ive heard of 3 other couples where the cheater said the same damn thing–10 years. Is it in a cheater handbook or something?

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
5 years ago
Reply to  ThursdaysChild

Absolutely in the cheater playbook. Mine said the same thing while revising his history. In the meantime, I looked back at all the emails, cards, etc. where he proclaimed his love for me, how much better his life was with me in it, how I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I believe the “10 years” thing is about making him look like a saint to his friends/family for staying in such a miserable marriage, all about impression management so that he isn’t judged as the complete ass he actually is.
#sainthoodforcheaters
#STDsforeverybodyelse

Jojobee
Jojobee
5 years ago
Reply to  ThursdaysChild

It’s a big enough number so that people who hear it will know and understand how he/she SUFFERED. Everyday for them was pure hell and they ENDURED because they are just that NICE a person. #too stupid to know I’m unhappy.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  Jojobee

Haha, Attie! That’s funny about only being able to count up to ten!

I’m not sure of the significance of the ten years with the other cheaters not being happy. My ex-cheater dug deep into the past to come up with some reason that he wanted a divorce. He wanted a divorce and this is a direct quote from The Divorce Letter, “I want to be with someone who trusts me 100%. You can’t give me what I want. Trust.” Sooooooo, the cheater went back about ten years to a night that I of course don’t remember and he said that I told him, “I’ll never trust you again.” It’s quite possible this night did happen, because this was about the time that he admitted that he went up to Canada over ten times while I was pregnant and went to 100% naked strip clubs and got 100% naked lap dances (and probably more!). This is also at the same time I thought he was having an affair with a ho-worker (I now 100% believe that he was as he got fired from that job as he was pretty high up in management). So, he said in The Divorce Letter that “something died in him that night” and so he said he hadn’t been happy all those ten years. Total bullshit lies. He had to make up some type of story to justify all his lying, cheating and “unhappiness”.

I’m watching the sociopathic killer Chris Watts’ interrogation videos and it’s like watching my ex-husband in action. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie! Take a story and keep spinning it. Take a little truth and add some lies. Tell a story, but keep out the facts that might make you look bad. Lying, filthy snakes all of them!

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Jojobee

Most of them can only count up to 10 without a calculator so there’s your magic number!

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Sorry about the double post – trigger finger here!

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Jojobee

Most of them can only count up to 10 so that’s the number of years they’ve been unhappy!

Nicelutherangirl
Nicelutherangirl
5 years ago

Bravo! Bravo!

Attie
Attie
5 years ago

A boat called Shit head!!! Please do it! Ha ha!

Attie
Attie
5 years ago

All the ex’s crap got dumped in my basement when he scuttled back to the States to be with his latest twu wuv and abandoned his rented home, all its furniture and the dog. So it’s been sitting in my basement (well the stuff that my kids didn’t want) since then. The other day I started going through a box of his books figuring I could put them in our second-hand book sale. I picked up a book in English on fishing and thought somebody just might like that. But waddaya know, out popped 5 pages – his psychiatric report when he applied for invalidity. Man oh man did THAT confirm everything (and more) of what I knew about him. It was in French but roughly translated he was a “fragile narcissist” who could no longer cope with the pressure of his work, who “emitted an alcoholic smell from his skin” but who had been traumatized by seeing men abused and killed “before his very eyes in war zones”!!!!! Mr. Marine Corps spent most of his MC duty stationed in the US, 18 months in Alexandria, Egypt playing guitar and BBQing with the British Consul’s wife, and then 2 years in the “death zone” that is Geneva, Switzerland!!! Yeah, he might have got hit on the head by a Swiss cheese. The most “traumatic” thing that ever happened to him was getting pulled over by a Swiss cop for driving in the bus lane! I showed it to my younger son and his gf (who is a psychiatric nurse) and told the older one what was in it. So yeah, I never was making all that crap up! How funny it would have been if I had just put that book in the book sale without looking inside it eh!

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Attie, I think “fragile narcissist” wins over sparkledick’s psychiatric diagnosis of “hypopragmatism”. Poor thing was so depressed that his “lack of will” made him travel with flatterfuck, buy an expensive car we could not afford. Etc.

Mustard Seed
Mustard Seed
5 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

What in the world is hypopragmatism???

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Mustard Seed

Sorry, but isn’t Teflon Narcissist an oxymoron? haha

kmanning
kmanning
5 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

Oh my goodness, SheChump, it is an oxymoron! Lol, and I can definitely laugh now that I’m not tethered by marriage to that mess.

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

Well fragile narcissist was how it was written in French. He is diagnosed bi-polar and ticks ever box for BPD so I reckon it might be that. Don’t care any more – not my problem!

MamaSparky
MamaSparky
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

“hit on the head by a Swiss cheese” Oh this is golden, Attie!

kmanning
kmanning
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Fragile narcissist? Who knew that such a thing existed? My ex is a teflon-narcissist-he makes sure nothing ever sticks to him!

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
5 years ago
Reply to  kmanning

Fragile narcissist ?

#po’wittlebaby
#sadsausage

inescapable
inescapable
5 years ago
Reply to  kmanning

Oh.. I like that word… Teflon-Narcissist… Can I steal it? I need to apply it to someone I used to know…

NewToCN
NewToCN
5 years ago
Reply to  kmanning

Kmanning- I think I will be borrowing the teflon reference.
#Arrested15timesNOJailTime
#ThinksItWillNeverStickUntilOW’sBabyWasBorn
#WillBeKeepingMyLastNameJustToPissHimOff

Livedtotell
Livedtotell
5 years ago

My ex was 38 and cheated on me with a 50 year old woman. I told him I hope he enjoys menopause. ????

Kristen
Kristen
5 years ago
Reply to  Livedtotell

Can we please quit with the “older women are gross” vein of humor on this thread. Some of us chumps ARE that old, and dont need the pile on.

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Kristen

I just turned 60 and revel in my loveliness!

Livedtotell
Livedtotell
5 years ago
Reply to  Kristen

I think your missing the point of this completely. I am older than my ex husband and it’s hurtful what he did to me and our children. This page was about “snark”. It’s my truth and I’m not sorry.

UXworld
UXworld
5 years ago

KK and RPD appear to have lost interest (surprise!) in their sex podcast project. After a flurry of buzz-seeking posts on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter a month or so ago, neither of them has posted anything in more than two weeks. #followthroughishardwork

One of their buzz attempts was: “Describe your feelings about sex and sexuality in six words. #sixonsex”

Okay, in the spirit of today’s challenge . . .

#NothingMoreBoringThanNarcissistsFucking
#LeaveTheVibratorTakeTheCannoli
#SexualPodcastsForSexualPodPeople
#ListeningToBeatzWhileIBeat
#BendOverRPDImComingIn
#EstherPerelWannabeInTheMaking

Waffles
Waffles
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

#WhatsThatOnTheDildo

PathOfTotality
PathOfTotality
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Hmmm… Was it KK and RPD who lost interest in their podcast project or they realized that pretty much no one else was interested? They were lucky if they had 10 likes on any of his vapid Insta posts.

#nooneclearkygivesafuckaboutthewayyoufuck

Mustard Seed
Mustard Seed
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

ADD at it’s finest!

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Nothing better than a good KK story on a Friday! lol 🙂

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Lmao UXworld!I especially like “#ListeningToBeatzWhileIBeat”. Too funny! ????

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

I’m crying from laughter….”#LeaveTheVibratorTakeTheCannoli”

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

also my personal favorite!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Hahaha, yes, Yes, you are my twin! I miss you! XOXOX!

Now I.C.
Now I.C.
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

After seeing one particular post on how they use their dishwasher I have to add:

#dontinvitemetodinner

UXworld
UXworld
5 years ago
Reply to  Now I.C.

🙂 indeed. I cringe for my daughters’ cereal bowls.

Kintsugi
Kintsugi
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

#Hahahaha

Newlady15
Newlady15
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

#wedontwanttohearaboutyoursexlifeyousicko

Newlady15
Newlady15
5 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

Sicko was the end—#hashtagtoolong
????

Diane J. Strickland
Diane J. Strickland
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

Thanks for the update UXworld!
AND You made my laugh before 7am!

OutFromTheShadows
OutFromTheShadows
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

#EstherPerelButJustTooLazy

oh noooo I was so looking forward to KK’s open-relationships podcast — but oh so typical — I see the same, lots of ideas but when the chump isn’t around to actually do the hard work (or actually all of it) then bugger all ever happens

unicornomore
unicornomore
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

My sister in law who was horrid to me for decades published a book of free form porn poetry and thought her self so daring. Sex is a pedestrian way to get attention. Everybody has an ass to shake. pleeze.

#yawnpleezeyourgrandmahadsex
#thisisthebestyougot?

oldcrone
oldcrone
5 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

How about an edit: #yawnpleezeyourgrandmaisprobablyhavingbettersexthanyouare

Lulutoo
Lulutoo
5 years ago
Reply to  oldcrone

Oldcrone, good one! Hahahaha

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
5 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

UXworld FTW!!!

Chris W.
Chris W.
5 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

OMG, the #Bendover one is priceless!! I love it!!

#analforassholes

UnCivilEngineer
UnCivilEngineer
5 years ago

Macho Man cheater didn’t feel “needed enough” because I was the primary income and expected housework to be an even spilt. The wannabe Marlboro Man found himself a receptionist with two kids and no daddy. Word on the social medias is she gets up at 4 AM to cook him a full breakfast every morning. I presume she wipes his ass then too.
Recently found out he got a second job under the table at a factory swine farm to afford her credit card habit. They are all in his name too because her Chapter 7 discharge is barely a year old. Guess she’s enjoying that perfect payment history I curated.
#pigsloppyseconds
#swipeitagain
#shelookslikeapigandyousmelllikeone
#howsdoesitfeeltobeneedednow
#oinkoinkmotherfucker

unicornomore
unicornomore
5 years ago

He thought that Civil Engineer money just flowed in everyones front door? Uh no…sounds like he was very accustomed to this part of his life being effortless. Would have loved to see his face when he first did the math.

My Cheater had developed a plan to set me and the kids up then move to Seattle and establish a whole life with Susan. It might have worked if he made like $400,000 a year…trouble was, he didnt and the same deluded braincells that convinced him he could have a wife and whore informed this process. Not sure how long it took him to do the math, but he eventually gave that plan up.

Pig farm, that is some Karma Bus action there.

KarenE
KarenE
5 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Yeah, doing the math would require looking at the future realistically! Cheater Narc wasn’t going there! After I kicked him out, I wanted to go to mediation to get $ settled, so I could plan and budget. He told me that was unnecessary, we’d just keep living as we had before. OK. We’d maintain two homes, plus your flying back and forth to see Shmoops, travelling w/her and going out w/her, on the same income we’d barely been managing one household on. Delusional!

He managed it for a while, by emptying his retirement accounts. Because that’s a smart move for someone in their mid-40s!

Fortunately we weren’t married, in a jurisdiction that doesn’t recognize common-law. So he couldn’t touch my retirement, nor ruin my credit. And we owned the house 50-50, he couldn’t touch the equity either. Dumbbell.

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Wow Karen, they really are that stupid aren’t they! Well mine was anyway. I’m so glad you are financially safe from that idiot!

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago

70 year old ex left me for 68 Owhore.. she died.
Immediately moved in with 82 year old woman.
He’ll be pushing her in a wheelchair soon!
#ViagraNeededHere

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

#DependsgiftcardinyourXmasstocking

silverqueen
silverqueen
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

After 40 years my 68 year old left me for an old hag said he wasn’t happy for years. He died 4 months ago maybe #hediedlaughing!

Out West
Out West
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

#thevavejayisbroke

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Wow Kathleen, he’s living with an 82 year old. Well I having heard your story I hope you enjoy that story!

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Attie
You believe that? Told my adult son “ she looks 65 looks great & he can’t satisfy her sexually enough “! Vomit ????
I don’t know anyone whose in their 80’s that look 65? Unless he’s living with Cher?? What a loser!

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Oh dear Lord, the visual. Your poor son. How many adult kids want to hear about their parents’ sex lives!!! Yikes! I’m so glad you’re out of there Kathleen. After my (younger) ex left me I dated a 13 years older colleague. I still love him to bits but we are no longer a couple. Still friends and see each other regularly. BUT are we all denying things here. He was mid-60s when we started dating and sex started off ok and then of course went downhill. No problem for me. I loved his hairy chest, his wicked sense of humour and his intelligence, but you don’t go with an almost 70 year old man for the sex do you. Your ex is either deluding himself that he is a stud or a lying piece of shit to think he can still get it up at that point and he “can’t satisfy her”. Glad you’re out of there Kathleen.

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Attie
I am glad I’m out of all the toxic crap but sometimes the loneliness hits hard. I’d rather be alone than be cheated, betrayed & lied to.
He definitely down graded with the now dead whore.
He’s living on Viagra with an old woman who he’s using. He’s an narcissist who still thinks he’s a stud. ????. Shame I wasted my youth on
such a loser . I’m glad your doing better. Us chumps are strong & resilient! Bless you Attie. ❤️

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Even better karma would be her having to push him in the wheelchair soon =
#NotMyProblemAnymore

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  RoseThorns

Rose Thorns
I wish!! He’s probably going to bury her too..
#DoesntWantToBeAlone
Haha

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Lol. Stupid ass

meh.twain
meh.twain
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Your last hashtag had me chuckling … he’ll regret pushing the wheelchair with THAT 😉

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  meh.twain

Meh
I hope so???? After 34 years of me bring a good wife he deserves it. Ha! ????

whatringofhellisthis
whatringofhellisthis
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

#Lonleyviagraboner
#Literallyasadsausage

Martha
Martha
5 years ago

LOL 🙂

brit
brit
5 years ago

My Cheater carefully planned his exit with “decoy” AP’s, the first photo op decoy was engaged, then he had another decoy attorney AP.., “he had never been happier.” Call it intuition, but there was something that made me question his sincerity. He had a “friend” my son would mention or I’d see a reference to his friend named “A.” His name was mentioned in an article on running with his biggest fan “A”.
I quit spying until recently when I found out he got married. I decided to find out who his bride is. Come to find out “A” was also married until a year prior to their wedding, they married on the anniversary of her divorce, she has two kids who are active in sports and now in college. Cheater and his true love were both in the same running clubs which are in inconvenient locations from where they both live, coincidently they entered the same out of town marathons, same weekend getaways.. marathons have suddenly come to a halt now that they don’t need to sneak away for weekend rendezvous.
Cheater is a personal trainer and trained her to enter the over 50 body building competition in Las Vegas, We have the same last name and I had been wondering why I had been getting invites to this competition and others. I know that working full time, preparing for body building competitions and a love interest, doesn’t leave you much time for your family…
By the way I just discovered this in the last couple of weeks, I find it interesting, my intuition was right. All these years hiding from her hubby, until the big day, (wedding in Hawaii, our favorite vacation spot). we’ll see how long the forbidden true love plays out when Romeo’s mask comes off.

Leonidis
Leonidis
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

Brit, I have always said to people “Be weary of married man and women (with kids) that seem to have so much time to spend at the gym. Something is always fishy there. At least I’ve found.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

#MyGutDoesntLie
#AlwaysTrustYourGut

AlmosttoMeh
AlmosttoMeh
5 years ago

I am one week post divorce and 1.5 years past Dday. I’m trying to make my way to Meh, but will happy take the exit for a quick stop in schadenfreude. At my 12 yo son’s soccer game, another mom said to me that my XH looks like Schmoopie’s kids grandpa. I wanted to give her a hug! As I piled up his shit in the garage, I put on top a training potty from when my kids were little. I couldn’t help myself!

kimsoverit
kimsoverit
5 years ago
Reply to  AlmosttoMeh

“As I piled up his shit in the garage, I put on top a training potty from when my kids were little.”…
That’s brilliant! My kids were all grown, so no potty available. Instead, after I loaded his stupid car with all his stupid shit, I left his gun on top. (in a case). This incensed him.
#leftyourgunontopofyourshit

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
5 years ago
Reply to  AlmosttoMeh

#BetterToGiveThanToReceive
#PottyChairyonShitSundae

meh.twain
meh.twain
5 years ago
Reply to  AlmosttoMeh

Excellent work there

AlmosttoMeh
AlmosttoMeh
5 years ago
Reply to  meh.twain

Awww that means so much thank u!!!!
I wouldn’t be where I am today without CL and CN!

#CNandCLsavedmylife
#finallywinning

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  AlmosttoMeh

Very well played with the potty chair!

Diary of a Yummy Grandmummy
Diary of a Yummy Grandmummy
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

LOL I put a used rat trap on top of his crap to take. A little not so subliminal message I hope he got but he’s so unaware and delusional and in denial, he prob didn’t. Not my problem tho.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

#traparatnamedexloser

BowTie
BowTie
5 years ago

I clearly remember the night before Mme YogaPants finally moved out. That was when I looked her in the eye and told her that I had recently had STD tests done and that the technician had looked at me probably wondering what sort of crack who’re this conservative looking middle aged man must have been sleeping with to warrant a test.

#notacrackwhore
#ineedspace
#ineedaplanb
#dancedoughnutboydance
#canyoukeepmakingmycarpayments
#notacrackwhore

Oh. And my tests came back clear.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Yeah, nothing better than thinking you’ve been in a monogamous relationship for 23 years and having your gyno tell you that you should get tested for HIV and STD’s. Nothing more fun than sitting in the phlebotomists chair while she punches all the codes into the computer of all the blood tests the doctor ordered. I can only imagine what they think when a 48 year old woman is getting tested for HIV and STD’s. Well, I enjoyed putting the blood draw bill on my cheaters desk so he could pay for it as he paid the bills. It was all spelled out in black and white what I got tested for.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Well you did better than me. When I got tested I was still smoking the hopium so I hid the bill from him (it was on my insurance so he didn’t need to know) so as not to insult him by insinuating that I could have caught something nasty from him.

Elsa
Elsa
5 years ago

I ordered HIV tests( he was still gaslighting me in believing in him not sleeping with others) he had a tantrum, then said “ I told u so” with a fucking smirk after clean result…following stone walking me for such an offensive actions(hiv testing)
All that knowing that he was fucking anyone willing the whole time we were together????

Elsa
Elsa
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha…what about sitting and explaining to your GYN why there is STD testing results coming her way, and why oh why I didn’t call it an emergency while scheduling ( and waiting my appointment)
She was very serious about my health, finish all the rest of testing PP didn’t do…. but pity on her face… or maybe that was compassion?
????‍♀️

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  Elsa

Yes, Elsa. It’s so nice when our doctors actually are very concerned about our health and what we could have been exposed to. My male gyno actually sat with me for at least a half hour and talked with me. He’s the one who suggested the tests be done and I took his advice as I’m sure he’s probably seen a lot of horror health stories of women who have been cheated on. I’m thankful the tests came back as negative as my ex spent over ten times up in Canada with 100% naked strippers getting lap dances. I found out here at Chump Nation that for extra $$$ you can get even more than a lap dance. My ex is just the kind of perv who would have gone for the whole enchilada if it was offered to him. It was worth the embarrassment of getting those tests ran in order to know I wasn’t infected by anything. I told my male chump friend about getting tested and he was shocked. He said, “I can’t imagine having to get tested after being married for 20 years!” I told him that I had no clue how many women he cheated on me with!! His wife cheated with only one man (that he knows of) and that man came from a long-term marriage, so he considered that “safe”. Hey, nothing is safe when you are dealing with pathological liars and cheaters!!

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

I went in for a full panel a few months after I found out about the affair. It wasn’t a big deal for the doctor, but I explained the situation because my then-wife and I have the same doctor and I knew have to report positive results to my wife as well. I figured I should just clear the air ahead of time in case they came back positive. It was actually much less embarrassing than I imagined it would be: not my secret to keep and not my moral failure.

Attie
Attie
5 years ago

I went to my gynae to request HIV testing too after my ex came back from a conference in Africa where he “found” a prostitute giving him a blow job in his hotel room when he work up from his alcoholic stupor! Not a nice experience but I wanted my reasons on my file! Thankfully negative!

Leonidis
Leonidis
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha!!!! UGH!!! Spot on!!! It hit me like a ton of bricks after the divorce that I should really get checked out. Youre right. There is no way of knowing how many other people there were. I came out good. Wheew. But hear about some of the stellar choices my ex wife has made since divorce. I don’t look for it but the news always drifts back to me. Usually old news by the time I get it. From what I understand she may graduate magna cum loudly from HPV U.

Elsa
Elsa
5 years ago
Reply to  Leonidis

I will never trust anyone to be “ safe”
Not a chance!
I’m doing my annual or semi annual check ups now, extra protection plus annual record of the person I’m having sex with( no one at this point)
I told my best friend to get tested and she was not thrilled by the idea of asking her doc’s ….
I think the shock of being exposed to deadly disease on regular basis for YEARS ( my husband started cheating on me from the very beginning, unknown to me.. together 16 years, I was faced with the whole picture more than a year ago) including times of pregnancies ????
And he was refusing using condoms with me “ he was careful and he knew which hooker was safe”( WTF?!?? Tip of distorted thinking)

Ugh…

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
5 years ago
Reply to  Elsa

I went to a new doctor and requested HIV, etc., testing; he looked at me and said he couldn’t believe I wanted to be tested that way. I asked him if he’d ever met me before or if he knew anything about me or my life??? He gulped, went silent, and ordered my tests.

Good grief, sometimes I just don’t believe doctors…

unicornomore
unicornomore
5 years ago

I kept our family functioning despite Cheaters desire for the biggest and best cars/houses that his reasonable but finite income as a military officer could afford us. He travelled so I kept the family books and he knew he could not hide purchases for long, so Susan got very few (if any) gifts. She is Hindu or Buddhist (I forget which…she is free to whatever religion she chooses) but the only thing he ever bought her was a book on Catholicism.

#HowtoJesusCheatBuddhistEdition

#IsAdulteryReallyAgainstMyReligion?

#CheaterNotFineWithHerBuddhism

Liz C.
Liz C.
5 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Nice! Same situation here–ex knew I looked at the bank, as he was overseas on orders. The only line item I could ever find was $40 he spent at a jewelry store in Brunei. His story–true or not–was that her cross necklace broke and he wanted to buy her a new chain. He didn’t see the irony that even Jesus didn’t want that homewrecking whore doing his advertising for him.

#irony
#signfromgod
#goodluckgettingmyatheistextoyourevangelicalchurch

OneFleshWithACheater
OneFleshWithACheater
5 years ago
Reply to  Liz C.

// He didn’t see the irony that even Jesus didn’t want that homewrecking whore doing his advertising for him.//

#troof

Chumpman
Chumpman
5 years ago

#lifeasasidepiece
#imsospecialhestayedwithwifeappliance
##lifetimespecialloveinamotelroom
#lookingforloveinallthewrongcoworkers
#wherearemykidsididntcheatonthem

Chumpman
Chumpman
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

Forgot:
#potsmokingnursenotaproblem

twiceachump
twiceachump
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

#nothingsaystruwuvlikesidepiecewhore

Okay, it’s a little too long. But I love these!!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
5 years ago

#cheatedonyoutooshocking
#youknowhelikesdudesright
#gaveyouapuppytoavoidfuturechildsupport
#norichdadinlawforyou
#losinghairandcharacterdaily
#nomoneyfordentalwork
#uncledad
#sixkidsnoneloveyou
#toohurtbypasttomarryhernow
#noreally #youcankeephim

Chumpman
Chumpman
5 years ago

#uncledad is great. I call XW aunt mom

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

CM – funny for us, not so much for the kiddos sadly. My friends say “but it is better than nothing”… I wonder.

KarenE
KarenE
5 years ago

My kids have figured out that no father at all is often better than a self-centered, angry father. It’s frigging sad, never what I thought would happen, and of course the kids struggle. But really, sometimes it’s better to stop exposing yourself to that pain, rather than persist because … hope.

Betrayed Bitch
Betrayed Bitch
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

My OW is an auntie mom too…she had children with brothers, she married one of them but lives with the one she’s not married to but they tell everyone that they are married. So she is aunt mom and he is uncle dad to the kids. The kids are brothers and cousins just sick shit!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
5 years ago
Reply to  Betrayed Bitch

WOW… that is right of “Deliverance”… sorry BB.

For me, #uncledad means he acts like more of an uncle (only sees kiddo on weekends, takes to fun events, returns to me to do homework and build life skills)…

Either way sucks 🙂

Betrayed Bitch
Betrayed Bitch
5 years ago

Aww…that makes sense! I was wondering if that was what you meant because it seems to be rare that people literally are an uncle dad or aunt mom lol…. but I have heard a few other situations of this deliverance shit! It still disgust me and I can’t wrap my head around it. After DDay when I did an internet search on her and I found out what kind of person she was I actually threw up and can’t believe he destroyed everything for a woman like her, even tho none of us knew what she was until it was too late and she had us all fooled. I should have done an internet search sooner! ???? I knew something was off with her from day one! Not that it matters I guess, he shouldn’t have went there in the first place! But I feel like she betrayed and manipulated me worse than he did!

meh.twain
meh.twain
5 years ago

Ive had a moment recently. The ex and his OWife apparently have a top of the range security system.. hooked up to HER phone.

She uses it to see what he is up to, who is visiting etcetc. If HE doesnt answer his phone she checks who he’s with and rings them!!!

#shetrustshertruwuvNOT
#ofcourseItrustyoujustdontdoanything(oranybody)whileImatwork
#youdeservethisyouwhore
#youdeservethisyoulyingcheatingSOB
#ohandyouthoughtIwasparanoidevenifitwasrightlyso

KB22
KB22
5 years ago
Reply to  meh.twain

If ex doesn’t answer his phone OWife then calls the person ex is with…..that is priceless! Even if you are not a cheater or have no intention of cheating, how annoying is that? Plus being in your own home and to have someone with the ability to check in via camera to watch your every move is downright creepy. Must really suck being your ex:)

meh.twain
meh.twain
5 years ago
Reply to  KB22

I know right? I’m heartbroken for him 😉

Todova
Todova
5 years ago
Reply to  KB22

#wheresmycheater?
#callingtheburnerphone
#imastalker
#hewouldnevercheatonme
#worriedmuch?

Maria73
Maria73
5 years ago

I’ve gone so NO CONTACT that I’m not sure what karma bus may have hit Creeper, though I do know he was the Saddest Sausage ever as, when he left my house for the last time, he was so butt-hurt he could barely walk, and said (like a 2-year-old), “You refuse to see the good in me….” Pooooooooooor boy!

About his cheapskate tendencies–for our first date, he had me over at his sister’s house (where he lived), and made tacos for us. Yes, his sister was there, too. But whenever people asked us where we went on our first date, he would tell them, “Cheesecake Factory.” This was a lie. However, a week or two into our fauxlationship, he did take me to Cheesecake Factory with GIFT CARDS he’d been accumulating for years. His so-called “first date” with me didn’t cost him a dime! Smarmy!!

kibbleshopflop
kibbleshopflop
5 years ago
Reply to  Maria73

#.002percentgood
#actnow #specialoffer
#normally #.001percentgood
#ursolucky
#whyunoappreciate #meeeeeeee

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Maria73

#Illseethegoodinyouwhenyoure6feetunder

Jumper
Jumper
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Good one NMSB!

Maria73
Maria73
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Funny, @nomoreskankboy !! Oh, and, another Creeper classic is, the next morning (after barely being able to walk out of my house the night before–butt-hurt as he was), I get a text from him that says, “It took me all night to realize my behavior is due to my addiction. All the dots are connected.” He literally said those very classic words: ALL THE DOTS ARE CONNECTED . Feels like some sort of cosmic candid camera episode. I never replied back, and I never will!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Maria73

#connectingthedotsonmyherpesrash

Maria73
Maria73
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! hehehehehehehehehehehe!!

FreeNow
FreeNow
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

So good!

whatringofhellisthis
whatringofhellisthis
5 years ago

#Godsgifttowomenislivinginabasement
#toldmeibringnothingtothetable
#buthehasnotablenow
#robbedmeblind
#buthehasnowheretoputit
#MONTHLYSTORAGEFEES

#somuchabuseididntknowiwasthebreadwinner
#hahahahaha

#hestolemydogtoo
#ivecriedfor6months
#ipickupmyrescuepuppytonight
#youcantdestroyme
#enjoythemildew

Chumperella
Chumperella
5 years ago

He stole your dog? Evil bastard doesn’t deserve to live!

whatringofhellisthis
whatringofhellisthis
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

I agree, Chumperella

It was his grand finale. The only things I have that are important to me – my garden, my birdhouses, my butterflies, and my dog – systematically broke, destroyed, or stole them. He did take me to my knees. But his victory is if I stay there. I am not staying there.
If a maniac destroys my garden, it’s being rebuilt 10 times bigger. And when i find my dog I’m fighting for him.

Chumperella
Chumperella
5 years ago

Good for you, whatring. He sounds like an out and out psychopath. I fervently hope you find your dog and my heart breaks for you.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago

What a massive jerk for stealing your dog!!! They sure know how to try to destroy us. They target everything we love and all our wonderful qualities that are true. I worked so hard to be the best wife and mom I could be. For years he told me what I great wife and mom I was. I was a great wife and mom. I would marry me! And then after the discard he said, “You never took good care of me.” I was like, “WHAT?!” He totally f’d with my mind and heart and tried his best to destroy me. BUT HE DIDN’T thanks to CL AND CN!!! Oh, and my family and friends too!

brit
brit
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha, I heard the same words, I was a great Mom, wife, and for years he told me what a great Mom and wife I was until the discard. Suddenly, I became a terrible wife and Mother, neglected him and our son. He’s done and said everything imaginable to destroy me including alienating our son from having a relationship with me. He should be ashamed it’s obvious he has used our son as a tool to hurt and destroy me, knowing how much I loved our family and our son. Sadly, no concern for our sons future or well being.
Like you, CN and CL saved me from despair.
They’re unbelievably selfish and cruel.

Mitz
Mitz
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

A lawyer told me that anyone can alienate a child from their other parent if they are willing to sacrifice their child’s mental health for their own spite and control. Sad.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

Brit, I’m so sorry that he has alienated your son from you too. The evil bastard, that gets me so mad!!! I have heard this same story so many times. My ex tried the same thing and thank God he didn’t succeed, because I for sure wouldn’t be here today if my kids weren’t with me. I hope your son sees the light someday and comes back to you. Big (((((HUGS))))) to you, Brit.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
5 years ago

“#hestolemydogtoo”

What a jerk. I hope the dog bites (just him).

whatringofhellisthis
whatringofhellisthis
5 years ago

In my daydreams my dog is growling at him and pooping in his boots.

Newlady15
Newlady15
5 years ago

I still like the olive man story—giving his daughter olives (she hates olives) for Christmas because she told him she was disgusted with his behavior.
My favorite, however, is that I bought him out of our house at a number $250k lower than I sold it for 3 months later. I hear he’s still whining about that one.
The newest thing I heard ( my sister lives with my daughter so she shares stuff she hears that she thinks I would want to know), is that Wackjob and his schmoopie are trying to talk her elderly father into selling his house to pay off her mortgage.

#oliveman4ever
#winwinonhousesale
#whatalovingdaughternot

Kale
Kale
5 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

How did you get 250K more? Wow! Was it a big house?

Janna
Janna
5 years ago

#ow#is#a#top#nowyourthebottom
#bdsm#notworkingforyouanymore
#yogacamptrolldumpedyou
#kidscallyouasshole
#stdinacoffeecup
#oldandaloneforever
#whosebeingabusednow

Sparkletwat turned out to be a dominatrix and was born the year we got married and yes, I did ask him this:
#whatcreepyoldguygetsyourdaughter

Strad
Strad
5 years ago

When XH finally admitted to cheating with his married ex-girlfriend from 30 years ago, he said, “If it hadn’t been her it would have been someone else.” When I told him I didn’t participate in 3 person marriages and began divorce proceedings he then convinced her to leave her husband of 30 years and marry him.
#Goodluckwiththat

ChumpedUpChik
ChumpedUpChik
5 years ago

#BigBoobsorBust
#HoSnatchTheNewHotpocket
#ChtrZGotMadSkillZ
#HookersWithHooters
#PantalonesEnFuego
#PuttinOnTheTitZ
#KlassyLikeOkStupidMatchDotCum
#WanderingStyeEye
#PussyCatHolePatrol
#SlutsNHosDelight
#MaryXXXmas
#YouCantMakeThisShitUp

DivineComedy
DivineComedy
5 years ago

I had my share of that this week. I finally received my stbx’s financial disclosure. True to form he is living paycheck to paycheck and eating out every meal. That was a problem in our marriage because he would drain our finances eating out all the time. So now OW gets the joy of being the budget police. I was so relieved to bot have to deal with that any longer.

#nolongermyproblem
#hopeyoudontmarryforthemoney
#sparkleandshine
#budgetmyway

eirene
eirene
5 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

Divine, my ExH actually stamped his feet and yelled, “You can’t stop me from buying breakfast and lunch out every day! I’m a full professor and don’t bring leftovers for lunch!!!” Too bad his salary didn’t match his entitled spending habits.

Divine, we were always out of money by the third of each month, every single month. I clipped coupons, was paying down our low-interest 15-year mortgage, and made dinner from my back yard garden.

Fast forward to today: I own my present home outright, love my life, still pick my dinner, and am getting by on $16k/year.

ExH married his bankrupt AP, lived in her derelict house until the bank repossessed it, and recently needed me to sign some forms so that he could “consolidate his credit card debt” by refinancing the mortgage on what had been our marital home.

You already took #nolongermyproblem, and other people have claimed various versions of #hahahaha, so I guess I’m left with

#ohthankgod
#freeatlast
#justbreathe

DivineComedy
DivineComedy
5 years ago
Reply to  eirene

Yes! Yes! Yes! I would clip and save and cut corners to keep us afloat while ue felt that he didn’t have to put in any effort!

I clipped coupons, purchased clothing from consignment, used apps like ebates and ibotta to get any little bit of money back.

Meanwhile, it was all really to keep up with HIS lifestyle.

#goodriddancetobadrubbish

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  eirene

Eirene – me too. I earned just a little more than the Twat (100-200 dollars a month). BUT I knuckled down and paid as much as I could towards my new mortgage in order to get rid of it. So now, after 7 years of a 17 year mortgage, it is paid off. Him? Took out a 25 year mortgage 3 years ago and will never be free. Schmoopie had to go back to work. To put it in perspective, if I sold up here in France I could buy 3 of his houses for cash and have a nice pension to live on. Him? 22 years to go on the mortgage, Schmoopie working now and 3 times my income but going nowhere. Ha!

MissBailey
MissBailey
5 years ago

I have some snark. We are all familiar with the songs about pyscho bitches and sex. Well, that was Dickhead. I figured out that while he was good in bed, he fucking sucks at life.

#boringAF
#nothingbetweentheears
#baldingandsnaggletoothed
#loser
#duh

DemHoez
DemHoez
5 years ago

I can’t think of anything. I’m in the sunken place right now.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  DemHoez

Hugs DemHoez, I promise it gets better! Please just hang in there. XOXOX

whatringofhellisthis
whatringofhellisthis
5 years ago
Reply to  DemHoez

You deserve a man that cherishes you for what’s on the inside and the outside.
I’m in a sunken hole too. But you know what, we married shallow trash that chases money or whores or what ever other shallow bullshit these people want.

After we got married he started telling me that I’m “disgusting” after we had a fun day or after we were intimate. He would scream at me “are you too dense to understand that if your husband can’t get hard to F you then you are the problem!?” “Whores keep their husbands wrapped around their finger.” “You tricked me into thinking you were going to be a tan woman and keep my attention. But you are a vanilla cone when I ordered chocolate.” On and on.

I read your comments and I don’t know your whole story but screw him. He’s a user.

#jokesonthem
#hesatoxichermitcrab
#realmendontmaketheirwivesfeelworthless
#wearewomenhearusroar
#theyaretoouglyontheinsideforus
#fuckthisshit

Elsa
Elsa
5 years ago

Whattriangle…

He said what?!?
They are really disgusting…. mine told me “ it’s not my business why he ordered some viagra” ( nope, no sex in months) and then why half of the viagra pills are gone ( apparently he used it with me, since he was unable to perform – unknown to me) and finally delivering the blow of “ hookers were getting him hard in a sec. while with me it was a ???? hard work.

Well, smart person.
He only remaining question there was: why, following his logic- I would stay with a 40something man, in ok shape with erecting disfunction( news to me) instead of having sex with 30 something guys?!?

Yeah…. dumb wife and her idiotic values.

Attie
Attie
5 years ago

Wow, What ring – your ex takes the biscuit there. Talk about deranged!

whatringofhellisthis
whatringofhellisthis
5 years ago
Reply to  Attie

he’s a beast with no empathy. a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Even crazier… after he says these things to me… he says “why do you force me to tell you such horrible things?” or “you always want the truth – so there ya go.”

#smilingbecausethereisnolongerabeastinmyhouse

#letsnotforgetheislivinginabasementnow

#;)

DemHoez
DemHoez
5 years ago

Eh, I’m not fussed about him really. I interpreted this post as being something akin to justice. I’ve certainly won’t get that. My son is autistic, so there won’t be another person in my life.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
5 years ago
Reply to  DemHoez

Dem,

You are not alone in this situation. I am a late middle-aged now divorced mother of young kids, one with incurable chronic cognitive issues. My abusive, adulterous husband left for younger women and men. I Finally thought life was going right when a fellow chump (covert narc?) that I thought I knew for three decades started dating (Love bombing) me. After a few years, he left me for the last time for a very successful work subordinate nearly 15 years my junior. Several wonderful relatives have died this year. I know that this garbage you describe is tough to deal with. I try to take solace in the fact that at least I am no longer being lied to, gaslit, insulted, criticized, controlled over things large and small by someone who covertly, quietly manipulates others for his gain while keeping up a successful ‘Nice Guy’ mask. I am trying to look beyond the piles of garbage around me to fully realize the beauty in the universe. F–ktards have not yet destroyed all of it! I wish you peace and happiness.

DemHoez
DemHoez
5 years ago
Reply to  RockStarWife

Like I said, it’s not about him. I don’t miss him and I don’t want him back. I’ve become acutely aware of what life is for me though. It’s daunting when you realize you will deal with this alone. That’s it, no other way out. No one worth talking to wants this lot. And what did I do that was so wrong to deserve this lot? (And I’m not talking about the cheating)

So there’s no hash tag to give, no justice to be found. I’ll trudge my way to the grave and find peace in it one day. Another placeholder in a field. He’ll find someone else to pay his Bill’s and give him normal children. He’ll forget his son and carry on. Some of us get stuck with the unhappy lot in life. Just how it goes.

Attie
Attie
5 years ago
Reply to  DemHoez

DemHoez, no wise words here but lots of hugs through cyber space!

Chumperella
Chumperella
5 years ago
Reply to  DemHoez

🙁 I feel you, Demhoez. I’m in a similar position in that I have a disabled daughter and a chronic illness which I will eventually die of, if cancer doesn’t get me first. The Asshole gave me HPV and I have already had two abnormal pap smears with precancerous nodules. I might have recovered from my illness if not for the trauma and years of stress inflicted on me by The Asshole.
Some people are lucky and others are not. The universe is a random place in which there is no justice or fairness. I’m keeping my sense of humor, though. The Asshole sure as hell isn’t taking that from me.
I hope you can find yours again. It could help get you through the dark times.
Don’t assume nobody would ever want to be with you just because you have an autistic child and some baggage. You have a lot to offer and somebody may recognize that.

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
5 years ago
Reply to  DemHoez

DemHoez,
#onedayatatime
#keepreadingCL
#trusthesucks
#itwillgetbetter

MyRedSandals
MyRedSandals
5 years ago

#somanyOWcantkeepthemallstraight
#foundoutnoproblemjustgounderground
#OWhasmynamesokeepthemonogram
#dontbealarmedhismicroisagrower
#keeptryingonAPsuntilonefits
#marriedhoworkersaresoconvenient
#justuseKGBskillstoflyundertheradar

NoMorePattyCake
NoMorePattyCake
5 years ago

#stbxhasprostatecancerat57
#hellopeepadsandlittlebluepills
#dependsformengaggiftfrom50thbdaynowneeded
#karmaforputtinghispenisinstrangepussy
#nomoreimpulselonglunchcheatermotelfucks
#caringforyouisnolongermyjob
#nobabiesforyoungMOW
#OWcanchangehisadultdiapersinstead
#owmustusehersickdaystocareforherfuckdaddy
#hahahahahahaha

Blindsidedbyevilones
Blindsidedbyevilones
5 years ago

#Romanticsexinpharmacybasement
#OWhasherpes
#OWthinksmyex-ishercompletepackage
#ExhasgainedweightOWhasadietplanforhim

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
5 years ago

#flatterfuckscostfamilymonies
#importedfancycarscostfamilymonies
#cheaterisfullofdebts
#cheaterdoesnotownahouse
#cheaterpaysrent
#chumpownsherhouse
#chumpownsasmallfarm
#chumphasnodebts
#chumphadbetterlawyers

kibbleshopflop
kibbleshopflop
5 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

#chumpismighty #chumphasreallife #chumpFTW

Tbone
Tbone
5 years ago

I also learned that Mr Chikfila is still Facebook friends with his AP (you know, the one he was proposed to when we were still married—how does that work) because they recently had a conversation in the comments of a post). And a friend sent me screenshots of his bumble profile that were taken six month after his wedding.

#WaffleFriesGetColdFast
#GottaGoSomewhereElseOnSundays
#TrustMeTheSecretIsNOTThePickle

Chumptastic Voyage
Chumptastic Voyage