On the latest episode of Tell Me How You’re Mighty, Sarah and I debunk a popular tenet of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex — the 180.
Coined by therapist Michelle Weiner Davis of Divorce Busting, it’s a set of instructions for chumps to follow so that their cheater sits up and takes notice of them. Essentially, it’s a manual on how to win the pick me dance.
Hang on, I thought the pick me dance was unwinable, Tracy.
Yes, exactly! But failing and recommitting is profitable.
As Sarah and I go through the many steps, we’re both struck with how utterly absurd and contradictory they are. ASK NO QUESTIONS. But also be cheerful, outgoing and attractive! But not too outgoing. The cheater is very scared now. It’s not a good time to discuss the marriage. DO NOT BE NEEDY! Ask for no reassurances! TELL NO ONE!
And on and on and on.
Pretty much this is a solid half hour of me sputtering.
I’ve debunked the 180 before, but now you can hear it in audio. And also listen to our trial-tested results of pick me dance failure. (Spoiler: After Sarah discovered her husband’s TWO Christmases, she hung up her dance shoes.)
So, CN, did you try the 180? Hey, just pretend that you’re just FINE! Ask no questions! Care for another shit sandwich? Don’t mind if I do! (gobble gobble…)
How’d that work for you?