The Wrong Pickle and Other Sins

If you’re responsible for their cheating, (thanks RIC!) then it stands to reason you’re responsible for all the other slings and arrows of their outrageous annoyance too.

In Tuesday’s column, The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender, “Xmaschump” shared a gem.

“I got chased down in the shower with xh holding a pickle that he needed me to see how badly I fucked up buying the brand I bought. I had no idea what was happening.”

Let me explain it — You. Bought. The. Wrong. Pickle. Xmaschump.

I know you were in the bathroom attending to your basic bodily care, but that was time you could’ve spent reviewing his briny brand preferences. Priorities, woman! Clearly, the proper course of action would’ve been to leap sopping wet from the shower and correct your mistake at once. Speed to the nearest convenience store…

“I NEED VLASSIC HALF-SOURS, STAT!”

How ever can you make it up to him? He’s fucking strange and you failed pickle clairvoyance. Someone deserves an apology here.

The Friday Challenge, CN, is to share the most absurd ways you Failed to Meet Their Needs. (Thanks RIC!)

 

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DivineComedy
DivineComedy
3 years ago

He told me I was required to say “I love you” at a minimum of 2 times per day.

chumparoo
chumparoo
3 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

I vacuumed and cleaned our 680′ condo too much! And I prepared dinner too late. Mind you I get home from dialysis at 4pm and need to rest a few hours. I also bought the wrong pickles. I spent too much time grocery shopping, and worked too much on my laptop, which let to us not communicating which led to his affair because we didn’t talk. Also he started shaving his balls and did 12 hour happy hours… about a year before d-day. Big red flags. He still has never given me closure and told me trickle truths. Im at the point I don’t care anymore. The irony is, he blamed me for everything, while he had his ho-worker affair. I confronted ho-worker by instant message. She of course wasn’t woman enough to reply to me. (I figured anyway) but I got blamed for sending dickface penis-nose I’M’s telling her she can have him now, he is all yours, thanks for helping me see his true character;) And wear earplugs at night because he snores. And sorry he is a 2 pump chump but I figured you already knew that. Also real women don’t fuck other Womens boyfriends, they call them up and report that their bf is chasing them. Real women have each others backs. Not go to France with their serious live in BF while she is on dialysis. He asked me why I sent her SOOOO many I”M’s (only 4), I said bc the bitch had it coming and I am not a fun person to cheat on. I ALWAYS call out the other woman if I get lied too and cheated on. She knew me and knew better. Dumb ugly cunt. You can have her. She looks like a man. anyway.

lisa
lisa
3 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

Funny you say this, mine told me I said it too much, now I never say it cause I really dont.mean it

Sue_W
Sue_W
3 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

I had that too!!! I had to thank him, also, for allowing me to stay at home and raise our three sons.

CallingSpades
CallingSpades
3 years ago
Reply to  Sue_W

Ah yes, he needed gratitude, “just a simple thank you,” is what he wrote after D-Day when discussing needs. I chumpily nodded, “Why yes, that seems reasonable!”

Later, when removed from his presence, I thought, wait a minute! I’m a person that says thank you all the time! For holding the door! For washing dishes! For watching his own kids while I catch up on work! For mowing the lawn AND picking up dog doo too, man, I acted like he was a effing hero because I consider the latter “my” chore even though it’s never been officially assigned to me. I was scratching my head like, WTF is he talking about?

And then I connected this with my growing suspicion of narcissism. Oh wait. He didn’t ACTUALLY want “a simple thank you.” That was just him trying to subtly blame shift, making me sound ungrateful. What he ACTUALLY wanted was for me to kiss his ass and fawn over him. To act like I was on cloud nine whenever I was graced with his presence. Oh, now I get it. And NO thank you. Peace out!

Fuk
Fuk
3 years ago
Reply to  Sue_W

Mine :

Me: well at least you are being paid biweekly for the work you do while I ( SAHM3 kids per agreement, since he was traveling a lot, no family around) am not getting a single $ for my work
Him: you live in the house, you eat the food, you don’t have to worry about the bills

That left me speechless.

Just me and the puppy
Just me and the puppy
3 years ago
Reply to  DivineComedy

The day isn’t long enough to start that conversation. There aren’t enough words. But hey. I was a good wife for the most part. Those words warm my heart to this day since everything was my fault. Smh

Free_Soon
Free_Soon
3 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Hahahah! I say I love you even to my morning coffeee so…

andpixiedust
andpixiedust
3 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

You are hilarious! This little comment just made my morning.

Spoonriver
Spoonriver
3 years ago

My hair was “unstructured” aka curly, I never wear pink. I folded t-shirts and underwear incorrectly. The list is endless.

Charley
Charley
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

I didn’t pair up his clean socks (before we even lived together he left his laundry at mine, looking back I was such a doormat) and he flipped out massively at me because “you get home from work at 5!” “Actually I don’t it’s nearer half-“ “YOU GET HOME FROM WORK AT 5!!!” Like the time I do or do not arrive home means I had more free time to spend pairing up his clean socks?

Diana Oakley
Diana Oakley
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

I folded underwear incorrectly and I hung his shirts wrong.

SerenityNow
SerenityNow
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

Ooh, I love that phrase! Unstructured hair! I have unstructured hair too! It sounds so avant garde!

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

My hair was “poufy”. Yeah, he knew that when he married me.

cf8280
cf8280
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

Ooo… I got told I folded laundry incorrectly (while doing probably 80% of the laundry and losing 100% of the closet space, so ALL my clothes needed to be folded but only about 1/3 of hers). Also I was a bad driver. I couldn’t park the car well. I didn’t know how to make appointments. I couldn’t cook. I……

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  cf8280

So different. It’s insane how different everyone’s households run.

I did all the laundry, ironing, sewing, etc. His clothes got all the closet space while mine were in plastic tubs. . . I know, wtf was I thinking?!?!

NotMyFault
NotMyFault
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

In my house, I was told “you don’t do the laundry”, the MACHINE does it. I did 100% of laundry (for he and two sons) and all appeared magically, clean and folded in the drawers. I was also told that he had to walk too far to the hamper!

Chumperella
Chumperella
3 years ago
Reply to  cf8280

I faded all of his clothes in the dryer. The crazy part is I am very particular about laundry – I sort meticulously, wash per tag instructions and only partially dry before putting the clothes on hangars – it is my system. Because of all of the care I put into it I believe he felt it was his duty to make me feel inadequate.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Spoonriver

Ugh I can relate to the clothing thing.

Ex-husband said I needed to start wearing dresses…it was winter ????

Chumptini
Chumptini
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Did make bed correctly
Didnt get ketchup at drive thru- ketchup at house “isnt the same”
Never, ever drove correctly

Thirtythreeyearsachump
Thirtythreeyearsachump
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Dear Chump Lady, there was this one time, he was very angry that I did not do the mending, he was forced to throw a stack of folded laundry in my face and start screaming about how irresponsible and lazy I was. When I demonstrated that the mending was done. He told me it didn’t matter and refused to apologize for throwing laundry in my face. He thought I didn’t do the mending, he was wrong. Of all the horrendous sins against marriage, all he had was a perceived lack of timely mending. I truly am a horrible person.

Then there was my inability to magically deduce where I should park my car. I asked to have an assigned parking spot to eliminate his daily fury at my inability to park properly. He refused to tell me how I could park the car to please him. So daily he would come home and scream about where I parked my car. Where it should have been parked was a constantly changing location. The poor man was married to a poor parker. I deliberately parked in a manner to make his life unbearable. I am a terrible person.

I was too clean. I was constantly putting things away where he couldn’t find them. How dare I remove his shit stained drawers from the dining room floor? What madness forced me to hide his tools in the garage and not leave them on the kitchen counter? Why wouldn’t I save the envelope the bills came in? My cleanliness was his cross, his burden. The poor man lived in a tidy hell of my making. What an awful wife I was!

Then perhaps my greatest sin against him was my bitterness. He needed me to not be so bitter. Why? Why couldn’t I be a little more cheery about his infidelities? My bitterness was just too much for him. He brought this bitterness up to the therapist and was shocked that she told him I was entitled to be bitter. He stated loudly, “I need Thirtythreeyearsachump to stop being bitter.” I was bitter, it was a downer for him.

Chump Lady, as you see I didn’t meet his needs. But it turns out a Howorker AND a decades younger hood rat could take up where I had failed. So I left him to their tender whorish mercies. Surely two whores could meet his needs where I had failed? I take a perverse pride in the fact that it took two whores to replace me. Enjoy, bitches!!!

I now delight in parking where the hell ever I want too. I have very little mending to do. Strangely, I am not bitter.

MedusaInMeh
MedusaInMeh
3 years ago

Oh, the horror! How could you? 🙂

The Colonel’s Ex-Chump
The Colonel’s Ex-Chump
3 years ago

Thirtythreeyearsachump –

I delighted in your stories. You are quite the writer! A toast to your bad parking and bitterness. ????

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

“the tidy hell of my making”…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and HA

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

I couldn’t wear attractive clothing or pretty shoes.

I couldn’t speak to the mailman if I happened to be at the door when the mail arrived.

When we separated, I bought some red leather sling-back sandals and a nifty dress.

Humph–

Kara
Kara
3 years ago
Reply to  Soldiering On

Soldiering On, holy shit have I got a story for you about SHOES…

So this was the first big argument I had with my abuser. It was about some damn shoes.

I have these goth heels with little bats on the buckles. I love these shoes. They are really tall and kinda hard to walk in, so I only bust them out occasionally when I’m feeling like I wanna wear something sassy on my feet, or I know when I will have the opportunity to sit. Last year I dressed as a vampire for Halloween and wore them.

Anyway, one day we’re headed to work. At the time I worked in a small shop, so I decided I wanted to wear my bat-buckle heels. I put on a pair of sandals for the bus, and my boyfriend put the heels in his backpack. I forgot to get the heels from him before I went in to work. I texted him and said I’d forgotten them. He said yeah, he noticed, he’d just bring them home later. I said I’ll come get them after I’m off, I’d like to walk around a bit while wearing them since I didn’t get to at work.

This, apparently, was an absolute crime against humanity. Because he replied with “WHO do you need to look that good for???” I thought he was kidding. I said “Me? I want to. I feel good in them.”

Thus began the argument. Apparently I can’t possibly just want to look good for myself, is him telling me I’m beautiful NOT GOOD ENOUGH???? Women only wear things like that when they want attention from other guys, these aren’t walking around shoes, if I’m willing to go out in these “slut shoes” (as he called them) when he’s not with me, then who’s attention am I looking for?

When I told him to stop slut shaming me, because that’s what that was, he told me it’s not slut shaming, but literally if the “shoe fits” and then he went on (and on and on and on…) about this Dave Chapelle sketch where he says if women don’t want to be called sluts, don’t dress like one, if you wore a police outfit you’d get mistaken for being a cop, so what’s the difference? (He also had to throw in that his ex Holly NEVER wore shoes like THESE…)

And when he came home, he didn’t stop. He kept going, holding the shoes in my face, pointing to how tall they were, asking me if all I was going to do was walk around in them, then why didn’t I just wear them on the bus instead of my sandals? SEE! That PROVES IT! AND didn’t I know? It’s just WEIRD to need to wear “whore shoes” (went from slut to whore shoes) to feel good about myself. Do I need to be a whore to feel good? Everyone in his shop thinks that’s weird, he asked them all, and they ALL agree! So I’m in the wrong and I should apologize. Also, would I let a child wear these? No? Why not? Because I know they’re slutty? If I’m not okay with a little girl wearing them then shut the fuck up about slut shaming.

So basically that’s where the standard that I cannot wear clothes that I would not also be okay with a child wearing, Dave Chapelle apparently knows more about how women should dress than …women, I couldn’t wear something to feel good about myself because HE should be the only reassurance I need, and wearing heels in public without him with me meant I was trying to pick up someone to cheat with.

…Interesting…considering he was the one who cheated…<_<…ask me about the time he didn't come home until 6 am and screamed at me for being concerned.

KarenE
KarenE
3 years ago
Reply to  Kara

Yup, you cannot win. My Ex LOVED it when I wore what I call ‘fuck me pumps’, and was pissed that I didn’t wear them all the time. You know, when wrangling toddlers, taking the subway to work, spending the day on my feet at work, taking kids to the park, attending family functions. Oh, those short skirts should have been part of the every day wardrobe too …

(Took me a long time after our separation to finally realize he LOVED it when other men looked at me lustfully, as long as I didn’t notice or respond in any way. He was full of envy, and wanted other men to envy him.)

Whatever we do, we are in the wrong. I am 100% sure that if I had the kind of life and stamina it takes to wear fuck-me pumps all day every day, he would have criticized that instead.

KarenE
KarenE
3 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

PS, I am envious now … of your bat-buckle shoes!

Kara
Kara
3 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

I don’t think the bat shoes are available anymore, but the company is Pleasers and they were part of their “Funtasma” line. Those are their more costumy styles for Halloween. I couldn’t find the bat buckles on their site but they have some cool skeleton shoes that have feet bones on them. Those come in heels and flats.

Mustard Seed
Mustard Seed
3 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

I mean kick ass! Sorry! Autocorrect.

Mustard Seed
Mustard Seed
3 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Me too, and I’d really like to buy some kids ass bat buckle shoes. But mine would have to be comfortable to walk in. I draw the line at uncomfortable shoes.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Soldiering On

Oh I bet you looked killer! Now I want some red pumps haha

Hcard
Hcard
3 years ago

My standards were too high. I made everyone uncomfortable, feeling they had to do the right thing.
Mad hatter thinking.

nomar
nomar
3 years ago
Reply to  Hcard

Yes, I got that too. I apparently made everyone miserable with my unreasonable demands that we both pitch in to pay our bills on time (we had plenty of money), keep house, and establish boundaries for our kids (homework, junk food, bed times, etc.). Utterly confusing since we discussed these things and reached a consensus on them, only to find out later I was crazy for relying on what she said.

I am convinced that many cheaters reach false consensus on domestic issues only to later claim they were abusive, so they can be used to justify cheating.

Lulu
Lulu
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

“ I was crazy for relying on what he /she said”
On all fronts 100%
But my part of the deal was expected.
Monogamy, love, care, kids etc

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I got a similar objection (during the discard phase of course – I never heard this during 17 years of marriage) that my standards were too high and I made her feel bad about herself. My standards are not high: minimize screen time for the kids, everyone sits down to dinner, don’t buy stuff you don’t need – that just about covers it. And it’s not like I was imposing these on my XW: I did all the cooking, child care, house maintenance, bill paying, etc. so these were standards I was holding myself to much more than her.

In the end, I also was accused of abuse (financial, and implied physical) because I did so much for her (enabling her high-powered career) that she didn’t know the day-to-day workings of our household.

The abusive husband narrative is just too enticing for them to resist. It instantly produces a community of supporters and justifies adultery as a means of escape. The saddest part, in a way, is that her lies raise doubts about all the actual instances of domestic abuse (many of them written about on this site). My XW calls herself a feminist, but I think that her lying about this kind of thing seriously risks undermining the progress that’s been made towards believing and helping victims of domestic violence.

Duped
Duped
3 years ago

This is a slightly different take … but still related, because it shows that certain feminists don’t think about their life choices and how they may affect other women…

After hearing my ex’s 30-year-old fiancé is a feminist, and is going back to med school (with my ex’s money) to help women, I decided I had to point out the irony to her. I left her a voicemail stating that, maybe before she claims her membership in the feminist movement, she should do some research on how divorce hurts women financially, and think about her role in my divorce. I explained that I likely won’t be able to retire for quite a while now because she enticed my husband of 24 years to run off into the sunset with her. I told her that I was with him while he built his career from nothing and now she’ll benefit from my years of support of him. Meanwhile my retirement and income took a giant hit. The next day, my ex threatened a protective order against me if I ever contacted his fiancé again. Think I might have touched a nerve…

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Duped

Dear Duped–

How dare you break through her elaborate “reduction of self punishment” borderline system of denial. Apparently her eau de social justice warrior spray couldn’t cover up the tell-tale mate poacher stink.

Now you can get a t-shirt saying you’ve had an encounter with a “sex-positive third wave feminist.”

No doubt she cheered over the Nike sponsored “pink pussy hat” portion of the last big women’s march- the one that infamously marginalized women of color. And never mind that impoverished women producing Nike gear in third world garment factories were being routinely raped and harassed on the job for ages and paid slave wages. I could go down the list of sponsors’ ironic abuses but it would get too long.

In short, it’s corporate entryism. Unfortunately this new commercialized narc-y bastardization of feminism sells well with many up-talking idiots. They shoot each other while shooting themselves in the foot.

I’m behind the #MeToo movement but not the #MeMeMe movement.

Duped
Duped
3 years ago

Hell of a Chump,
LOVE! Every word you said, spot on!!!
Thank you!!

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago

Nomar– what you say is so true. The minority of prevaricators tar actual victims and muck up progress.

I was raised by feminist parents and never wanted to believe that fakers existed. But I’ve seen this happen more than once. The prevaricator profile (I’m thinking of three specific people) is a dead ringer for she-cheaters come to think of it. Very narc-y.

Here’s the irony: the enticing abuser narrative only whips up a community of support in individual situations when it’s fabricated.

I’m not talking about publicized cases that trigger movements but obscure, regular people stuff. Workplace harassment, assault, etc.

I don’t know why this is but I imagine the liars are more pleasing as they gently wipe that single tear away and tell their tale of woe in dulcet tones or something.

Meanwhile the actual victims are sobbing alone in the restroom fearing for jobs and reps and hesitant to tell anyone. When they try to tell what happened they’re just not cinematic enough. Too wild-eyed and apoplectic to inspire communal sympathy, either shaking like chihuahuas or coming off completely numb, flat and spooky.

Go figure.

WishinforHappiness
WishinforHappiness
3 years ago

I agree with this. Too many times the real abuse victim minimises what has happened to them and then deflects attention away from it. They don’t want to rock the boat, make things worse- or they are just so scared that they will not be believed or that they really are as horrible as the abuser tells them. So they cry in the restroom, they never mention it or brush aside questions from well-meaning people who are picking up abuse vibes.

And it is so hard to break out of that mould. I still don’t like to vocalise that I was a victim of abuse – and I still feel that I am ‘over-reacting’ in calling it abuse despite the fact that the most obvious sign of it was that MONTHS AFTER I had broken up with him, he chased me down and hit me with his car before throwing me in the back and holding me against my will for over 48 hours with a number of those hours spent in his bedroom. *sigh*

And I thought I was super lucky to then end up meeting and falling in love with the cheating exhole afterwards! LOL

And my greatest sin in the cheating exhole’s eyes was that I didn’t believe him when he told me that he wasn’t cheating on me. Apparently, I should have continued to be a gormless idiot and believe whatever he said after I was given proof of his cheating.

Attie
Attie
3 years ago

Involuntary, I hear what you’re saying and I absolutely hate what they do us. I’m a woman and a feminist – and I had the shit beat out of me on a regular basis. So yeah I get this. But I still feel so much for those men who have this thrown at them when it’s so not true. I’m sorry for you – and I guess I’m sorry for me.

nomar
nomar
3 years ago
Reply to  Attie

Thank you for chiming in. It was easy for my cheating ex-wife to convince her coworkers that was was a jerk lawyer husband because it’s a common stereotype. After the truth came out they apologized To me for enabling her For so many years and ignoring evidence (My actions whenever they were around me) that I was not the monster she portrayed me to be. This community-wide gaslighting is nothing compared to the physical abuse that so many women endure, but it still hurts like hell. And I appreciate feeling heard in discussions like this.

Chickenchump
Chickenchump
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Not a feminist because I just couldn’t buy the whole political platform.

She’s sounded like her words and actions didn’t match a chump from what you described. Perhaps her “friends” figured that part out after awhile. Hope for your sake they’re not flying monkeys. Male chumps have extra hurdles and burdens from society. I’m sorry she sucks.

Chumpman
Chumpman
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

This exactly Nomar. Its all justification for poor behavior.

Attie
Attie
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Since he had been a marine, we reached a “consensus” whereby we were going to have a weekly “clean up” day, just like they did at the marine house. I hadn’t realized it only applied to me though – he’d sit there passed out drunk on the sofa or pranging away murdering his guitar while I tried to shop, cook, clean and take care of 2 kids – as well as work full-time!

nomar
nomar
3 years ago
Reply to  Attie

No one should be bullied into a fake consensus (I think this happens with many “open marriages”), but also no one should agree to consensus without the intention of doing what they say (what I was trying to describe). Adults seem to get this, but not cheaters. Your husband sounds like a lazy jerk who didn’t want to carry his own rucksack.

Jae
Jae
3 years ago
Reply to  nomar

“… didn’t want to carry his own rucksack.” I love it. ????

Madge2
Madge2
3 years ago
Reply to  Hcard

I’m so glad someone else made people feel ‘uncomfortable’. I thought it was just me! I made people feel ‘very, very uncomfortable’ so perhaps that’s worse! I also failed to heat up baked beans properly. I had to be supervised because I followed the instructions on the tin, and so didn’t boil them! I have many other faults. Too long a list to mention.

MaisyL
MaisyL
3 years ago
Reply to  Madge2

I honestly felt like I was the only one. After social events (only during the time I now know he was having an affair), my ex-H used to tell me I wasn’t funny and I should stop trying to make jokes and embarrass him in front of all of “his” friends. He would also tell me I made people uncomfortable if I spoke about my work (in the non profit sector – most of our friends were in business/for-profit companies). It got to the point I was anxious to attend anything because all these friends I had thought were close for years apparently didn’t like having me around!

Jae
Jae
3 years ago
Reply to  MaisyL

Dang. This struck a chord. What I got when I made a joke was, “That’s not cute. It was never cute.” It worked. I stopped joking with or around him.

Madge2
Madge2
3 years ago
Reply to  Madge2

And what is it with the ‘very, very’. Everything I did wrong was ‘very, very’ wrong. It was like having a conversation with Boris Johnson (Brit here).

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
3 years ago
Reply to  Madge2

trump does the same thing. Everything is ‘very, very’. As in, I have been treated very, very unfairly. lol

Kimberley
Kimberley
3 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

Sometimes it is a relief to live so far away from the rest of the world here in Kiwiland.

Madge2
Madge2
3 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

???? Rumblekitty, I didn’t want to be rude about another country’s leader. Ours is bad enough.

Cuzchump
Cuzchump
3 years ago
Reply to  Madge2

I was told by my ex that no one limed me not even my daughter.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
3 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Yup. No one liked me, either, Cuzchump.

Probably because I made people very, very uncomfortable…????

Cuzchump
Cuzchump
3 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Liked me. Not limed me.

Shelly
Shelly
3 years ago

He told me if I trimmed back his straggly fruit trees, he would divorce me.

Duped
Duped
3 years ago
Reply to  Shelly

Shelly,
I would have said, “I don’t want to touch your “straggly fruit trees”! I wouldn’t want to catch something!

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago
Reply to  Shelly

This is a good one. I would pay to see that on a divorce decree. “She pruned my trees”. There are so many snarky comments in my head, I don’t even know where to start!

marvel
marvel
3 years ago

just wow

ChumpToTheMax
ChumpToTheMax
3 years ago

I’m not sure how anyone can beat being chased by a pickle.

I only have the same boring examples of not folding his underwear or stacking the dishes correctly. When they are looking for reasons to hate and blame, they will grasp at anything.

Not sure I can ever look at a pickle the same way!

Free_Soon
Free_Soon
3 years ago
Reply to  ChumpToTheMax

Yes, pickles should sue for defamation!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
3 years ago

It was my fault each time at the end of the season that the Boston Red Sox didn’t make it into the World Series. It got to the point where I stopped watching the games with him in order to avoid an argument. Stupid idiot!

Chumperella
Chumperella
3 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

How could it possibly be your fault? Did he ever explain?

Chumpful
Chumpful
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Apparently every time I watched his favourite team play (on television), they would lose. I was banned from watching. My telepathic powers thousands of kilometres from the game were incredible!!

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumpful

Chumpful– we bow down before you oh god-like being.

Would you contract out those telepathic powers? Like, you know, make all the pedophiles in the world turn themselves in en masse or make would be drunk drivers lose their car keys?

Susan Devlin
Susan Devlin
3 years ago

I had a stillborn, which he said caused him to do drugs with prostitutes.
Shame about the sti(s).
Incidentally I saw the prostitute, one of them on the bus, this morning she was wearing a face mask, shame she cared more about her face than her genitals.
She kept on turning around and looking at me. She thought my ex was wonderful, she had to tell him that didn’t she, being paid and all that.

Dodgedabullet
Dodgedabullet
3 years ago

I once got blamed for my ex’s injury to his hand– which he used to punch a wall when he got mad at me because I didn’t want to join his family for dinner that night.

Cuzchump
Cuzchump
3 years ago

My lovely ex told me that he cheated(never admitted to cheating. They were just friends). Because I was no fun. I just did not give him enough attention and affection. He felt unloved. I did not want to go play pool and go to bars. He felt lonely. She was fun. She did not complain. She was happy all the time. And she was a nice person.
I felt lonely and unloved for most of my marriage. But, I did not decide it was a good idea to cheat with his cousin. Not once did he say he cheated because he wanted to.

Suzy
Suzy
3 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Yep same here. His ho-worker had all day to fool around and be fun because she had her kids in day care (she works to get away and shop and flirt and go to lunch apparently) and I was home doing laundry and dishes and all the indoor and out door work including raising our six children, and wasn’t “fun” enough. I didn’t greet him every day with a huge stupid smile and look at him adoringly like he said she did. I sometimes called to discuss issues with the kids and that “ruined his day when he just wanted to be in a good mood.” I also apparently didn’t make eggs, grilled sandwiches, or etc the right way. Funny enough when they were outed I bought all this shit and tried so hard to be what he wanted for two years and hell he kept on cheating and lying so hmmm… in the end he said I never loved him and God sent him someone that did and he couldn’t let her go but he wanted more time to date and decide because he wasn’t “ sure” yet he didn’t want me. I filed and am so done. Good luck with brainless happy dipshit with the 3 attention lacking kids.

Olly
Olly
3 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Cuzchump, my STBX also said he needed more affection and sex. (So did I!!) he called himself a “heavy drinker” refused to admit it odd to get drunk minimum three times a week. I wasn’t allowed to complain, I was told “not to make him pay for the sins of my mother”, my amazing mum who I adored was also an alcoholic (would binge for a week then not drink for 10-12 weeks). Living with my narcissistic alcoholic husband was never going to lead to a loving Normal sex life, when everything else was less than normal!! He never got the notion of cause and effect! Unfortunately we only ever relate to our perspective of the situation, my reality will never be experienced by him. He probably was feeling disconnected and desperate for “love” and sex, but never asked himself why two people who genuinely loved each other for two decades ended up with a gulf of distance between them (I’d fled to the attic room 18 months before I discovered his 2 year affair and worked late to avoid the gut wrenching disappointment of walking in the front door to see a drunk at the kitchen table smiling like an idiot), he just doesn’t get it, my patience ran out especially as he started physically abusing my youngest son. He’d created a toxic atmosphere in our home over the last five years. Yet he keeps referring to “all the hurt I’ve caused him”. He was pretending to be a divorcee to his girlfriend while living a lie with his family for two years. I was tippy toeing around to avoid setting off an incendiary device!! What hurt! He’s utterly delusional. Now he’s living alone (broke) and keeps calling to say how sad he is. He valued all the wrong things, fast life and fun (including heavy drinking, porn and sex). I think the pandemic has taught him that what he valued over family, kids, a loyal hard working, kind and loving life partner who stood by him and supported him financially for ever, might have been a mistake. They value the wrong things. Who wants to spend more of our lives with such screwed up people who wear a mask pretending to be normal!

Just me and the puppy
Just me and the puppy
3 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

So I’m not the only one that got cheated on with just a friend. I feel better now

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago

You’re definitely not the only one.

I was constantly told, “she’s just my fishing buddy”, “she’s just a friend” “she’s your friend too”, “I think of her like a daughter”. (the rat faced whore is almost 30 years his junior).

I can’t beat the pickle story, but there were so many tiny things he threw tantrums about it’s hard to pick just one, and although I remember the rages, I can’t always remember what triggered it.

But there was the time Christmas Dinner wasn’t ready when he thought it should have been, and he went into a screaming tantrum: ” I demand and *expect* that Christmas day should be perfect!!”

And the time he went into another screaming rage because he found the fly spray in the same cupboard as the tinned goods – apparently I was trying to poison him…

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

And there was the time I made egg and chips for his tea; he went into a screaming tantrum about that, because it was apparently no meal for a man who was working so hard, I was a lazy cunt, then he threw the plate on the floor.

Kara
Kara
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

If he hates eggs and chips so much then he can be a big man and make his own damn dinner…

NotMyFault
NotMyFault
3 years ago
Reply to  Kara

Regarding dinner, thirty six years, dinner on the table at 5:30… all while working full time and raising two boys. Always had Sunday dinner also! He “retired” (at age 58) two years before D-day. I once asked, “why can’t I have dinner ready when I arrive home”? His response, “don’t come home”!

RebelXIII
RebelXIII
3 years ago
Reply to  Kara

This is what I keep thinking when I read all the “didn’t fold clothes properly” stories! “Welp, here you go asswipe, if you don’t like how I do it, you’re welcome to do it yourself.”

Kara
Kara
3 years ago
Reply to  RebelXIII

One of my best friends used to be dating (emphasis on “used to”) a guy that I could. Not. Stand. I told her as much. She knew I didn’t like him, and he was garbage, but she had to come to that conclusion herself. She finally did, thank god, and she’s much happier now, but this reminds me of one of the things he did that made me say he sucks.

So she was still in grad school at the time, and was in class/lab very late. She didn’t get home to her apartment until around 11 pm. At which time he shows up to see her. And he’s hungry so he start giving her shit for not having had dinner ready for him. …At 11 o’ clock at night. At HER apartment.

That became an argument because she was like…s’cuse the fuck out of me but you didn’t feed your damn self???? His argument was her apartment was messy so she’s clearly not doing what she’s supposed to do anyway so therefore it’s still her fault because she’s just not a responsible person.

…It’s been over a year since she dumped him and she has been SO much happier since.

brit
brit
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

chumpnomore6, I’m responsible for a similar atrocity,
I made Sloppy Joes for dinner.

Other faults and built up resentments on his list, I didn’t compliment him on his biceps. I didn’t run up to the front door to greet him when he came home. I didn’t fix pasta twice a week, and I know he likes pasta. I parked my car too close to the house.

These are only a few, the list is long.

NotMyFault
NotMyFault
3 years ago
Reply to  brit

At first, I didn’t make pasta enough…then he decided to become gluten free, so, no pasta at all!

Chickenchump
Chickenchump
3 years ago
Reply to  NotMyFault

What is it about the GF diet?Like a supportive spouse I purged the pantry of all gluten products. I made GF meals and homemade breads. I shopped niche stores that specialized in gluten free foods. Mine was on and off the GF diet a few times. No notifications on when he ditched the diet the first time mind you. I had to figure it out myself by noticing the increase in nonGF foods.

Then he announced we were back on the diet again because it caused him to get debilitating migraines. He would lay around complaining for hours about them. But he didn’t embrace the migraine diet. He kept drinking alcohol and caffeine, eating other known trigger foods just avoided GLUTEN. The second time I didn’t purge the pantry. I wasn’t buying the special needs when he just dismissed he diet on his own before. Just another sham.

PS. I have migraines and on a migraine diet. It does work to decrease the symptoms as does the prescription medicines I take daily.

Salty
Salty
3 years ago
Reply to  brit

Ooh, I got the stamped with the Failed Door Greeter label, too.

Wonder if I would’ve accepted the job in the first place if “human Lassie, 24/7” was in the job description…

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
3 years ago
Reply to  brit

I made hot dogs.

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
3 years ago

My XW actually DID boil the water the wrong way. One day I had to work late and I asked her to put on a pot of water for pasta so I could quickly make dinner for the kids when I got home. When I arrived, the water had boiled over and put out the fire, so the house was filling with gas. Needless to say I didn’t ask her to do anything in the kitchen again.

Oh, and XW is Italian, too.

igotthesilver
igotthesilver
3 years ago

Oh! He told me I boiled water the wrong way. WTF?

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  brit

Sloppy Joe’s!!! How dare you! ????

The time I asked him to go to the hospital with me, when I had a breast cancer scare. He went into a screaming rage because he would have to take time off work. He smashed his dinner plate on the table, then swept the mess onto the floor.

Dear God, when I look back, what the fuck was I thinking!!?? ????????

brit
brit
3 years ago
Reply to  chumpnomore6

I rescheduled my hysterectomy surgery, I didn’t think it would be a problem but apparently it was, he became enraged, screaming and stomping around the house like a mad man.
Later, I had a pre op appointment with the Dr. who would be doing the surgery and I told him my husband was upset that I changed my last surgery date.
Dr. paused for a moment, then looked me in the eyes and said if you want to change your appointment for surgery, change it, that’s your decision, he said I don’t care if it’s the morning of your surgery. We can reschedule. It’s your surgery not your husbands.
Should have been a red flag moment but no, being a super Chump, continued to walk on egg shells.

Looking back, what was I thinking? why didn’t I tell ex to fuck off !!??

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
3 years ago
Reply to  Cuzchump

Skankboy, said “it just happened.” Poor thing not being able to control his dick.” I would be horrified if I had no control over my vajaja!

Beans
Beans
3 years ago

My ex gave me the classic you’re so-controlling-you-never-ask-me spiel. Tried to make me his mommy, never wanted to make any adult decisions about anything, then would get kissed at me ten years later for the decisions I had to make alone.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
3 years ago
Reply to  Beans

I definitely get the Mommy the in ng! My xh told our Mareiage Counselor Minister that I treated him like a child sometimes. Minister hit the nail on the head when his reply was, “You force her into the parent role by your behavior. You demand she take care of you like a mother would.” So basically, I had to be the responsible one or everything would turn to shit. He expected me to do all the cleaning & cooking & to wait on him, even when I worked more hours then him. Then he used this against me as a reason he cheated. Minister caught onto that way before I did.

beenchumped
beenchumped
3 years ago
Reply to  RoseThorns

Mine was like a child also. It took until the kids were in their teens for me to realize it though. Once they hit 14-ish they were indisputably more mature than him. And then it hit me like a ton of brinks.

beenchumped
beenchumped
3 years ago
Reply to  beenchumped

*bricks

Pulchie
Pulchie
3 years ago
Reply to  beenchumped

I got the exact same crap. I had to do all the adulting because he was either incapable or didn’t want to, but was then called controlling. Srsly? If I didn’t handle all this stuff that you can’t/won’t/refuse to, then we’d be living in a charmin box under the freeway, but mmkay, I’m controlling!

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago
Reply to  Pulchie

Yes, yes yes! to the mother thing. He wouldn’t make a decision, so I would. That made me “controlling”. This guy is so weak that he’s incapable of a firm yes or no on anything. Even when he asked me to make a decision it was still all wrong and all my fault.
This is all coming back to me now.
Also he didn’t want to have sex because I nagged him too much. And “who wants to have sex with their mom?”

Gross. Unfortunately, his actual mother died. He hasn’t dealt with it so I get the brunt of the rage against her. Then his father died and he went off the rails completely. That’s when I left.

Left It ALL Behind
Left It ALL Behind
3 years ago

OH WOW, Differently Chumped! I literally had a light bulb moment. My STBXH always answered with either “I’ll think about it” or “maybe.” Then, when I had to make a decision, I was considered the bossy, control-freak. The part that was weird, was I always saw him as the controlling person in the relationship. It’s because it was passive-aggressive. Thanks for the clarity!

Unstuckchump
Unstuckchump
3 years ago

I was always blamed for anything the dog did. Dog had an accident, “YOUR DOG did……..!!!!!”

and I always apologized.

Jenny
Jenny
3 years ago

His main reasoning was that he felt pressure because I asked him to clean up after himself! I guess asking to put his dishes in the sink was too stressful? Once he screamed at me and said the reason he kept his hair cut short was because he would pull it out of his head because I made him so miserable (funny, you’ve been wearing your hair short your whole life…).

Red-breasted songbird
Red-breasted songbird
3 years ago

I was not allowed to say “No, I think…” or “Yes, but…”. Saying that was too controlling and I was silencing my ex’s opinion. I was only allowed to respond with “Yes, and…” so my views could only be built with the express support of their’s.

ChumpToTheMax
ChumpToTheMax
3 years ago

Red-breasted songbird, I wasn’t allowed to say “okay.” I still don’t know why, but I guess because I didn’t want to argue? So weird they try to control even what we say.

Red-breasted songbird
Red-breasted songbird
3 years ago
Reply to  ChumpToTheMax

I think it because they just wanted to move the conversation towards the path of justification they chose. To be the victim in different ways.

Sunrise
Sunrise
3 years ago

I couldn’t say “crap,” as an noun or an expletive. If I did I was called low-class. He still tells my kids that so of course they say it regularly at home.

Left It ALL Behind
Left It ALL Behind
3 years ago
Reply to  Sunrise

I was told that it wasn’t okay to say “Crud!” That was considered very bad manners. While he dropped F-bombs and cussed people out on the phone in front of our young children. He always claimed that his family had excellent manners. One of nephew’s first words was “shit.” That’s a fun one to add to any baby book!

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
3 years ago
Reply to  Sunrise

I seriously thought that the first words my son would say would be “GoddamitMotherFuckItAllToHell”.

Yet if I said “Damn” in front of the kid I was a terrible example for our child and should be ashamed of my potty mouth.

brit
brit
3 years ago
Reply to  Sunrise

Sunrise,
One time, in anger, I said “shit.” he called me white trash, and trailer trash.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
3 years ago
Reply to  brit

Sunrise & Brit,
Next time you say shit or crap & he says you’re low class/trailer trash for saying it reply with, “Oh, you’re so right -.FUCK! I’ll try not to ever say crap/shit again!’ Lmao

Madge2
Madge2
3 years ago

I got pulled up for the verbal tics of saying ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I’m afraid’ or ‘to be fair’ at the beginning of a sentence. I’m a senior lawyer and articulate. I came to realise that I had become so scared of voicing an opinion that I developed the tics to protect myself.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
3 years ago
Reply to  Madge2

I had read somewhere (probably in some save your marriage article) that you should say, “It makes me feel bad when you…” or “It hurts me when you…” so that your spouse doesnt feel attacked. After the second time I said that my xh said, “EVERYTHING hurts you and makes you feel bad!” After that of I ever even accidentally said “I feel…” he would never at me with those snake eyes, huff and just walk away before I could finish. So essentially, I was no longer allowed to voice when anything he did or said hurt me. Most of the marital advice I read to try caused the opposite reaction from him.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
3 years ago
Reply to  RoseThorns

*sneer at me not never

Notareflectionorprojection
Notareflectionorprojection
3 years ago

I can’t compete with the pickle but if only I could have become him all would have been well with the marriage allegedly. Let’s just think about that. Yuk.

Newlady15
Newlady15
3 years ago

I was too honest. I said no to sex once in a while. I “nagged” him to stop f#cking strange and stop spending our life savings on himself.

KarenE
KarenE
3 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

Ooooh, yeah, the old head game of;
– you should be enthusiastically available for sex whenever I want it
– you should not initiate sex yourself, in any direct way, although wearing something sexy is good
– but if it becomes obvious you’d like to have sex or expect to have sex (like after a date night when you dressed up etc or during a much anticipated vacation), despite no direct approach, I will ignore you or fight with you instead
– if you try to initiate sex, I will lie there like a dead fish until you give up and slink away in humiliation
– when you decide you’re DONE initiating, the fact you never initiate will become one of the reasons I was ‘so unhappy I had to cheat’ – despite my never mentioning it before that.
– you are required to find ways to add zing to our sex life, but I will never lift a finger in that direction
– if one of those zing-adding suggestions is something you would like to try, but I haven’t really thought about before, it will never happen
– when you get fed up with my laziness/selfishness in bed and don’t make efforts anymore, that will also become a reason I ‘had to cheat’.

My Ex added in the ‘zero appreciation for the fact my wife LOVES sex and we have a very active sex life’.

They are manipulative selfish fucks, and that applies everywhere. What always appalls me is how long it took to figure that out, and how much crap I put up with.

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Yes.

He wanted sex when I was in bed with the flu, high temperature, felt really ill. I said no, I feel too ill.

He said he felt rejected, and if I really loved him it wouldn’t matter if I was ill. ????????

ChChChChump
ChChChChump
3 years ago
Reply to  Newlady15

I initiated sex, “but only when YOU are in the mood!” I guess I was supposed to initiate when I used my mind-reading super power to figure out HE was in the mood. Or maybe I was supposed to initiate when I WASN’T in the mood, just because having sex while not wanting it is the ultimate show of true love?

Skunkcabbage
Skunkcabbage
3 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

Mine loved this tactic. If I tried to give/get a kiss and a cuddle I was “soliciting affection” and rejected. (With the unspoken connotation of whore-like behavior) So after a while of this behavior I no longer felt my advances were welcome, so I stopped. Then I got “you never initiate sex with me.”

He loved to make me crazy through withholding attention, silent treatment, treat me like a person he could barely tolerate to be around. Then he’d ambush me after I had gone to bed, wake me up and want sex! If I refused, I was the withholding bitch he claimed me to be.

Totally crazy making!

idontwanna
idontwanna
3 years ago
Reply to  Skunkcabbage

Wow, i will never not be astonished by how predictable their behavior is! My stbx followed the same psycho game plan to the step. During the big discovery/discard he followed up with this is all your fault! You made me do it, because you’re a frigid bitch????

TooSmartforthisShit
TooSmartforthisShit
3 years ago
Reply to  Skunkcabbage

You know in all our marriage I just thought we had been unfortunate in that he seemed to be amorous when I was not and that he was stressed or in well when I was in the mood. I’m sitting here stunned that I never before considered how unlikely it was for us to be THAT unlucky. I mean 13 years worth of coincidence? How did I not see this was another manipulation? I can’t tell you how often I agonized over this “problem”. I am feeling very stupid at this moment

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago

You’re not stupid. Wasband used sex to manipulate, control and punish me.
It hurt so badly when I realized he used sex as a weapon. To me, sex is a precious thing that brings two people together in ways nothing else can.
Our minister flat-out called him out on that. Looked right at him and said, “Withholding is infidelity. How do you feel about leaving her open to temptation like that?”
God bless my minister for his support and straight talk. Of course, the talk did no good for Wasband. He’s never going to change. But it spoke VOLUMES to me. So much support shown in one question.

CLM
CLM
3 years ago
Reply to  ChChChChump

This is classic crazy. He is off the chain.

Yas
Yas
3 years ago
Reply to  CLM

Same. He would say I never initiated sex. And when I did, he would reject me. It always had to be when he wanted it. Then he would say in don’t know how to initiate. Then he would blame sexomnia (sleep sex) on me. The last time I was with him, he forced himself on me. I gave in after trying to stop him. Before the affair, he was the gentlest nicest man in bed. So confusing.

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago
Reply to  Yas

Your comment really made me think. I recognize those patterns! I didn’t realize it but that’s what was happening to me as well. It’s amazing what we learn from the stories of others.
He rejected me ALL THE TIME. Often in painful and humiliating ways. And it was always my fault that he didn’t want to have sex. His ED was my fault, too. He’d complain he didn’t know how to initiate. (Yeah, it’s called going out on a limb, buddy, which you would never ever do.)
I can’t remember one single time where he was vulnerable in our marriage. And I had his babies! Talk about vulnerability!
I often wonder what childbirth would have been like with a caring, emotionally functional husband.

Lulu
Lulu
3 years ago

ED was my issue – I wasn’t attractive enough.
I found viagra ( we haven’t had sex for weeks) with few pills missing
“ that wasn’t my damn business, that was between him and his doctor”
But doc didn’t prescribed them…. they were bought online?!?????
Well, not my business

But few were missing?!?????????

Yes, he wanted to take them to have sex with me but changed his mind

Whores. – he needed the pills to last with hookers.

Now, I know that his fucked up sex life was 100% on him- rejecting me, humiliating me ( by saying that my often Infections were turning him on, while my infections were caused by his unprotected sex with prostitutes)
I’m free.
I feel attractive.
I take my feminine side back.

Chumperella
Chumperella
3 years ago

I was too affectionate in public. I was not affectionate enough. I bought the Tylenol instead of Advil. I made pork chops the day he got the results of his cholesterol test and it was high (never mind he didn’t tell me) – he actually accused me of trying to kill him that day.

KarenE
KarenE
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Hmmm, sounds like you should have fed him bacon friend in butter, with hollandaise sauce.

brit
brit
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Ex accused me of trying to kill him by spraying air freshener.
It wasn’t often, I’d wait until he was in another room, if he’d walked into the room and noticed
the fragrance of air freshener he’d become enraged accusing me of trying to kill him.

Judging by his behavior you’d think I had sprayed cyanide directly in his face.

DuddersGetsChumped
DuddersGetsChumped
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Shame they didn’t have an extra thick layer of fat on those chops hey Chumperella.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
3 years ago

Lmao. Good one Dudders! ????????

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumperella

Pork chops are a deadly weapon!?! Who knew?

Differently Chumpef
Differently Chumpef
3 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Hahahaha!

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago

Ugh, my name is Differently Chumped. Fat fingers here.

middlefingersup
middlefingersup
3 years ago

I love a theme week.

I slowed down to not hit a man and his dog on the curb (dog was pooping) when parking to drop our son off at daycare – before dropping ex-DH off at work. I was wrong to slow down.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
3 years ago

I got kicked out of the car in 90F heat while eight months pregnant for exclaiming “watch it” when he sped up towards pedestrian who had the gall to jaywalk in front of him.

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago

Oh my goodness, me too! The issue of driving could be a whole other post. I am sure we all have stories.
Once he missed a stop sign and almost ran my children and I head first into a deep ditch. My therapist suggested maybe he was uncomfortable with what we were discussing and he wanted to end the conversation. I think she was right. What a dangerous coward asshole.

brit
brit
3 years ago

Differently Chumped, almost running you all head first into a ditch sounds like he wanted to end more than the conversation.
Scary..

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Ex-husband was livid I wouldn’t tell him where I lived after I moved out.

He said he would have the cops track me down to find me and he’d eventually have my address so I might as well stop being difficult and just tell him myself where I was living.

His obsession with trying to find me was strange to me. He even tried by saying he’d bring me groceries to my new place the day after I moved out.

It’s like he couldn’t connect our divorce with no longer having access to me.

beenchumped
beenchumped
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

He was trying to intimidate you into some kind of compliance under the threat “I know where you live.”

Similarly, mine told me IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR DIVORCE that he took out a million dollar life insurance policy on me. I NEVER had life insurance after becoming a SAHM because he said “there was nothing to insure” because I didn’t bring in a salary any longer.

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  beenchumped

That’s just disgusting for him to say something like that to the woman who gave you children. Karma is going to hit him hard one day…if it hasn’t already.

Olly
Olly
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

They want it all!! My STBX who has been planning a new life with his girlfriend (almost 20 years younger than he) for 2 years, then leaves messages saying “I hope this isn’t the end of our story”, admittedly I think he was drunk! He repulses me, I want to be a million miles away from that deluded self entitled man. Our story!! OMG

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Olly

Wow. Just wow.

I got something similar from my ex-husband, something like “we still have the future to make this work”. Uuuuhhhh no!

Why can’t these people just let it go!

Attie
Attie
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

My ex was furious after I bought him out of the house and changed the locks. He felt he should have a key “in case something happens to you”! I told him the only bad thing that ever happened to me was him!

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Attie

I don’t get why they want the access to us? It literally makes ZERO sense.

Having my own place and him not knowing where I was, enraged him. I mean the man wouldn’t come home after work when we were married and he was messing around, yet he wanted to know where I was all the sudden? weirdo!

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Yes. Mine was mad when he didn’t know where I lived. It was funny though, he’s ask all these seemingly unrelated questions but it was so obvious he was digging for info. I saw right through it. What a dumbass. The only ones they are fooling are themselves!

Alice
Alice
3 years ago

Must be a common thing with cheaters. I find it incredibly odd they wanna keep tabs on us.

KarenE
KarenE
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

A) We belong to them, and even after they’ve discarded us or we have gotten away from them, we still belong to them

B) at some point Cheater will probably want to circle back to us, at least for a few kibbles. Harder if they don’t know where we are.

As my at-the-time 12 year old daughter said about how her cheater father treated her and her brother;
‘He thinks we’re toys he can just leave lying on the floor when he’s tired of playing with us. Then a few days or weeks later when he wants to play with us again, he can just pick us up and carry on. And we should be fine with that.’

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

KarenE, it’s true. He absolutely believed I was still his. I think he still does to be honest. I know for the rest of my life, I’ll have to expect a message, email, call, etc out of the blue from him.

I won’t be responding to him though.

I’m so sorry your children felt used as well. That’s just heartbreaking. It’s a lesson we all have to learn in life but to learn it from a parent like that is just terrible.

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
3 years ago
Reply to  Attie

LOL!

Txmmw
Txmmw
3 years ago

I got followed while he was berating me for leaving the garage door open. Mind you it was a Saturday morning and he was outside doing yard work. One of my ear piercings is crooked and he hated having to buy me earrings knowing that my left earring would be crooked. The list continued.

UXworld
UXworld
3 years ago

For 15 years, she threatened to never have contact with her mother or sisters again after some perceived slight or show of preferential treatment — but of course, within days after each instance, she was acting as if as if nothing ever happened.

Then one night, I committed the sin of saying: “Come on, you know you don’t mean that.”

What followed was an hours-long rage like I’d never seen before, concluding with: “You’ve NEVER supported me. I’ve never in my life felt so alone as I do right now.”

okupin
okupin
3 years ago
Reply to  UXworld

That gave me chills, UXworld. I got the EXACT same two sentences from my ex when I dared to point out that he was taking his job stress out on me every night when he came home.

Also got shouted at and called names for taking his laundry off the line while it was still very slightly damp (we lived in a desert). Let’s see, what all else didn’t I do to his standards?

Laugh, eat, walk, exercise, open and close and lock doors (this was a biggie), drive the car, park the car, keep our accounts, organize the house, talk to people at parties, touch or look at things at other people’s houses, talk to his family, kiss him, make love to him, disagree with him…exist?

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
3 years ago

I got told by my Ex-Wife (an alcoholic) that I have a drink problem because I am tee-total. She could not see I did not drink because the best way to deal with her drunken toxicity was to stay stone-cold sober.

She then doubled down, saying that she was embarrassed to have her friends round, because: as a non-drinker, I don’t know how frequently I need to top our guest’s glasses (making me a terrible host) and; that me not drinking with them made her and her friends “uncomfortable.”

Olly
Olly
3 years ago

Hey LookingforwardtoTuesday, that’s deflection by your Ex. I got that too. As a non drinker the person I made most uncomfortable was him!! I’m quite sure the same was true of your Ex. It’s exhausting, alcoholics can never bring themselves to admit their drinking is not normal as that threatens one of their greatest pleasures, their drink. My Ex was a beautiful person utterly corrupted by alcohol (joined AA recently and called me a week later while drunk!). He will never change as he’s such an unwavering sense of entitlement- to his highs. Much better off without that type of person. They might be beautiful on the outside but they are very ugly on the inside. Only those close to them get to see that ugly side.

LookingforwardstoTuesday
LookingforwardstoTuesday
3 years ago
Reply to  Olly

Olly,

Seeing what drink does to someone you love is heartbreaking; it destroyed both her looks and personality. The woman that I loved (and our children loved) is now long gone.

Worst of all, it brought out (or allowed to escape) a side of her that I never knew existed.

Her family (who I am still in contact with and thankfully get on with very well) have said that they always knew that side of her was there – she hid it from the kids and I for years – but hoped that we would never be exposed to it.

GermanChump
GermanChump
3 years ago

I changed the baby at the airport coming off the plane. He cussed and shouted. Then I also changed the bodice. So over the top the diaper would have kept the dripping poop of the skin! Apparently this time added was the time when another passenger took my suitcase by mistake. Because that’s what typically happens when you don’t run to the belt with the business travelers with their Rimowas. (We were returning home btw with a house full of everything needed).

I inconvenienced him by deciding to keep up breast milk by pump for a full year when the baby wouldn’t feed of me. I walked, vacuumed and all with a discreet bra pump and took the annoying decision to sit with a medical pump every six hours while trying to teach the baby to drink again.
The day the baby stopped drinking from me he shouted at me and we had a fight. I went dry for three days. I let him cut my mother’s lifeline.

peacekeeper
peacekeeper
3 years ago
Reply to  GermanChump

((((GermanChump))))
Your post touches my heart.
Please know that you are an amazing Mother to do all of these things to provide your precious child with your breast milk.
I don’t know what age your child is now, but one thing is for certain, this child will always know who is the loving, caring parent.
Big big hugs to you.
I am so sorry you were treated so badly.

GermanChump
GermanChump
3 years ago
Reply to  peacekeeper

Peacekeeper, thank you for your words. Indeed, my child is in primary school now and has beautiful, flawless teeth even though lazy with brushing. So I guess the breast milk did kick in as hoped for (ex’s family has many dental problems).

Love to you, all sane parents and all of CN from the Aegaen coast (we are able to travel within Europe again). Different topic, I know, but two chumps with kids, we do find comfort and joy comparing mom’s vacations with all the troubles traveling with fuckwits.

Anyone else out there who never got it right for vacations/destination? I remember trembling while trying to establish in Spanish what the bandwidth of WiFi would be in the different rooms in a resort.

RoseThorns
RoseThorns
3 years ago
Reply to  GermanChump

It’s sad how stress can effect one’s body. After my xh walked out on us, I never had another period. Dr said I went into menopause early, at age 44, because of the stress.

DoneandDone
DoneandDone
3 years ago
Reply to  RoseThorns

Me too, RoseThorns. Never heard of that before. I was in the middle of my period when I found him (gps) at a motel with his skank.
Period stopped that day, never to return. Sure made me a believer in mind/body connection.

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
3 years ago
Reply to  GermanChump

This breaks my heart. I loathe him for you.

GermanChump
GermanChump
3 years ago

Thank you, motherchumper. Lots of love

Beachgirl
Beachgirl
3 years ago

I’m loving this one. Let’s see:

I threw out socks that had large holes in them.
I added apples to a crumb cake.
I went to bed too early (of course I had to wake up at 5a every day to get to work as the sole breadwinner).
I was no fun because I didn’t want to sky dive.
I didn’t want to watch him play video games for hours on end.
I demanded “perfection” , AKA I got upset every time I found out about another affair.

ChumpToTheMax
ChumpToTheMax
3 years ago
Reply to  Beachgirl

OMG, mine berated me for going to bed too early too! I got up at 5am, drove the kids to his moms, went to work, drove on hour back to pick up the kids, made the meal, took care of the kids while he was out running around. Then he laughed at me for being tired. I literally fell asleep while driving I was so exhausted! He would make jokes about it in front of our friends, then I would explain the situation and the friends would stop laughing at me and just say “oh.”

Suzy
Suzy
3 years ago
Reply to  ChumpToTheMax

Me too!!!

Chumpknowmore
Chumpknowmore
3 years ago

This one was not me not meeting his needs it was my then 4 year old daughter (stepdaughter to ex). She and I would say a cute little grace before dinner that she learned in daycare; “God made the sun, God made the sea……”. Shortly after we were married he threw a temper tantrum at dinner and forced us to say grace the way he wanted because he was “the man of the house”. From that day on it was “Bless us oh lord…” we even had to make the sign of the cross – I am sure Jesus was impressed ???? I remember being completely mortified. I wish I would have thrown him out right then and saved myself 20 years of abuse.

Dudette
Dudette
3 years ago
Reply to  Chumpknowmore

This is hilarious! I forgot that my ex would occasionally say in an authoritative tone, “BECAUSE I AM THE MAN OF THE HOUSE!”

CW
CW
3 years ago

I made too big of a deal about where he and kids put their shoes. It was his “rule” shoes came off when in the house – how terrible of me to not want them in the middle of the kitchen! Oh and I gave him a hard time about how much time he spent at work – seems I was right since he was having an affair with a part time employee.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
3 years ago

I, like so many, folded shirts wrong.

I like quilts and other handmade household items, but I don’t like jerry-rigged cars that frequently fail, and I don’t agree that both count as “handmade”.

I believe it isn’t monogamy unless it’s mutual.

I don’t want animals that are half wild
(half wolf dogs, etc.) living in my home.

I don’t want to engage in high risk travel.

These things all make me boring and/or irritating.

Living without him is GLORIOUS.

Suzanne
Suzanne
3 years ago

At one of many attempts at marital counseling, his one complaint about me was that I was disrespectful because I didn’t park as far over in the driveway as he wanted me to making it so that he didn’t have as much room on his side of the driveway as he would like (he had enough room and never mentioned my atrocious behavior to me prior to counseling). It is unbiblical to be disrespectful toward your husband this way.

Jeff I Am
Jeff I Am
3 years ago

I wasn’t loud enough when I orgasmed.

Duped
Duped
3 years ago
Reply to  Jeff I Am

Jeff I Am,

I dated a guy over a year after my ex left me and the first time we had sex, he was upset with me because I didn’t tell him I had orgasmed (several times, actually!). I thought the heavy breathing and moaning would make it obvious but… Why would I tell him and stop it??? Why not enjoy it and go with the flow???

Then, before he orgasmed, he had to tell me about how close he was the whole step of the way – like an orgasm play by play. It was a bit of a turn off, honestly. Afterward, he said to me, “THAT is how you tell someone you orgasmed!”

Ok…bye, bye!!! Won’t play with you again! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Jeff I Am

Oh wow. I had the opposite problem. I wasn’t allowed to make a peep during sexy time. He literally told me to shush!

The weird thing is, I never was super vocal anyway. Yet he still made it a rule I had to be quiet.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
3 years ago
Reply to  Jeff I Am

#metoo

Magically Chumplicious
Magically Chumplicious
3 years ago
Reply to  Jeff I Am

Same. Ugh. These people are such aholes.

Tall One
Tall One
3 years ago
Reply to  Jeff I Am

geez..

Quetzal
Quetzal
3 years ago

“You left your parents’ home not knowing your cuts of meat!”

This was thrown at me in admittedly his wildest tantrum, where he ranted via text 2 hours straight, after flipping out and abandoning me on my birthday (first birthday apart, we were reconciling!!!)

Now, just to put this in context, I wasn’t raised on a farm in the 50’s, and neither was he, but rather by neglectful parents who apparently also failed, amongst other sins, to give me the proper palate education, which resulted in me not particularly liking fried veal cutlet, which he happened to love.

LezChump
LezChump
3 years ago
Reply to  Quetzal

Re: abandoning you on your birthday: I’ve been reading “The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist” by Debbie Mirza, and evidently this business of ruining holidays and birthdays is pretty typical. Glad you’re on the other side!

Discarded Wife
Discarded Wife
3 years ago
Reply to  LezChump

That is a great book! I highlighted every item that pertained to my ex — and half of some chapters are bright yellow! I knew my ex was passive aggressive, because we both had to take the MMPI (a personality test) as part of a pre-adoption home study. My ex came back with passive aggressive and hypochondriac personality traits.

Fast forward 25 years — when I asked why he had an affair, my husband said it was because I had called him passive aggressive when he weed whacked my peonies down. (He never did any yard work — until he decided to weed whack my emerging peonies in a flower bed I built and told him I had planted bulbs.) The irony of having an affair for being called passive aggressive was totally lost on him.

I had also purchased new dishes after 42 years and he was afraid I would yell at him if he chipped a coffee cup. My marriage would have been saved if only he knew it was open stock!

Mel
Mel
3 years ago

I was told he left our 25 year marriage because I didn’t thank him for hanging the kitchen cabinets and I embarrassed him when I spoke. That’s reasonable, right???!!!

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  Mel

Ugh, I’d have a hard time not responding with, “you hung the cabinets?” just to piss him off haha

GayLynn
GayLynn
3 years ago

I had the audacity to go through menopause. It was a sign of aging and he couldn’t handle it.

Eve
Eve
3 years ago
Reply to  GayLynn

I got told “dried-up old women are yucky. I don’t want to hear one single word about it.”

So I went through menopause with no medication, no doctor, nothing but shame and silence 🙁

OhReally
OhReally
3 years ago

I wouldn’t let his work colleague have him as a boyfriend. I was a bad wife!

Alice
Alice
3 years ago
Reply to  OhReally

Wish I could key his car or something for ya 😉

OhReally
OhReally
3 years ago
Reply to  Alice

Alice, thank you!

Adelante
Adelante
3 years ago

Everything in my ex’s life that he was unhappy about was my fault, because he wasn’t happy because of me. He was fat because of me. He wasn’t writing because of me. He failed to become a Full Professor because of me. But the most fundamental way I failed him is that I was a woman and he wasn’t, and he resented me for that.

DarkQueen68
DarkQueen68
3 years ago
Reply to  Adelante

The exhole accuse me of not telling him he was fat! Look in the mirror dude! By the way, he was looking portly last time I saw him. Maybe I should have told him. I guess that’s the AP’s job now.

Duped
Duped
3 years ago
Reply to  DarkQueen68

My ex, also, blamed me for making him fat! Despite the fact that I had been on a diet for a year and a half before he left and tried to get him to exercise with me each night and eat more vegetables. I ended up having to make my healthy dinner (lean protein and lots of high fiber veggies) and then mashed potatoes for his side. After dinner, he’d eat a bowl of ice cream while I’d allow myself one little chocolate. But, yet I made HIM fat! After he left me for his 21-years-younger girlfriend, now fiancé, he lost about 60 lbs in four months. I don’t know how he did it. But she must have had some influence on his weight.

Kim
Kim
3 years ago

I once got yelled at because my teenage (about 14 at the time) son didn’t bring the trash can in. I told him to go upstairs and remind him because teenagers forget. Mind you my son is a great guy…. very little attitude.

He then proceeded to berate me because that was coddling, and why should son bother to listen because he “knows you’ll remind him”.

That’s right….my 14 year old son looked at that trash can and thought to himself, “I think I’ll ignore it because my mom will remind me later”.

I proceeded to tell ex to fuck off because everyone knew his snotty ass daughter didn’t lift a fucking finger in the house growing up. Ex muttered something under his breath and walked away.

Somehow my son became a fine engineering student of almost 20 who helps me with whatever I need.

RisingPheonix
RisingPheonix
3 years ago

I could never keep the house clean enough. It was my fault he was unhappy at his job.

Kara
Kara
3 years ago
Reply to  RisingPheonix

Same. It was my fault his tattooing career failed, and I was a lazy freeloader. I would try to do what I thought he wanted, but it was always wrong. I asked him what he wanted and I got “I shouldn’t have to tell you, you should just know.”

Magically Chumplicious
Magically Chumplicious
3 years ago
Reply to  RisingPheonix

I’m really wondering whether we were all married to the same guy!

NoRainNoFlowers
NoRainNoFlowers
3 years ago
Reply to  RisingPheonix

Mine too. Also every bad decision he’d ever made was my fault. It took some considerable therapy to get it into my head that his bad choices weren’t my responsibility. I had a very tough time with that particular abuse.

ChumpaWumpa
ChumpaWumpa
3 years ago

One that stands out is I was experimenting with new recipes. He came home and I told him what I was doing and that one of the experiments did not work and tasted disgusting. He went straight to it, tasted it, sneered at me and said, “This is absolutely disgusting.” I was like, “I JUST told you it’s disgusting. Why did you immediately go taste it?” He just shook his head at me like I should be ashamed of my existence. And I was just like “I KNOW it’s gross why did you taste it? It makes no sense.” He was so desperate to shame and berate me that if I handed him any opportunity to do more of it, he hopped on it in a way that was often laughable toward the end. In fact, that’s what eventually got me to break up with him. I eventually was laughing so hard at his lame attempts to tear me down there was a point I couldn’t take him seriously at all anymore and I dumped him.

One of your posts earlier this was so right that probably the best indicator someone is cheating on you is that they find fault in you for the most insane things. Chumpy and willing as we are to take blame and responsibility for too much, even we can go WTF? This doesn’t even make any sense.

Left It ALL Behind
Left It ALL Behind
3 years ago
Reply to  ChumpaWumpa

Mine did this too! I made falafel with canned beans one time FOR THE KIDS. He had some weird hand up that food = love. The kids and I agreed that the recipe was alright, but not as good as the more time consuming recipe. He sensed from afar that there was home cooking happening, and came home early. He proceeded to go on and on about how terrible the falafel were (while continuing to consume said falafel). I finally hollered, “I’m SO sorry. I promise to NEVER use canned beans again.” Which made him shut up, but look at me like I was the crazy one.

⚠️NoSympathyForCheaters
⚠️NoSympathyForCheaters
3 years ago

What a picture of contradictions! Complaining about the food while continuing to consume it!! Makes my head hurt!

Left It ALL Behind
Left It ALL Behind
3 years ago

HANG up, not HAND up.

NewLife2017
NewLife2017
3 years ago

I forgot to shut off the hallway lights in the morning before he left for work. Trying to get two kids ready for school, fed, lunches made. I didn’t hit the ‘clear off’ button on the microwave if a few seconds were left on it. I didn’t stop making him and the kids dinner when he came home from work (which was usually 15 minutes after I got home from work and picking up kids) and greet him at the door with a kiss. I left the garage door up a couple times after leaving for work. I didn’t put the clothes away fast enough after I did all the laundry, cleaned the house and took care of the kids – on Sundays when he watched the football game. He told me he left because of a bunch of my small failures, for the 20 year younger girl at his work. I just didn’t give him enough attention, not enough sex, not outgoing enough, my hair wasn’t the right color, at the end there was nothing about myself that I even could like. And I blamed myself for a long time, for all of it – its what I deserve cause even I think I suck. Its good to be out from under that, because I was exhausted.

okupin
okupin
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

” I just didn’t give him enough attention, not enough sex, not outgoing enough, my hair wasn’t the right color, at the end there was nothing about myself that I even could like. And I blamed myself for a long time, for all of it – its what I deserve cause even I think I suck. Its good to be out from under that, because I was exhausted.”

^^^This. Replace “not outgoing enough” with “too outgoing” and this is an exact, EXACT description of what it was like when my ex discarded me after 18 years of marriage, for a woman he had known all of 3 weeks.

It’s so helpful to read that other people have gone through pretty much exactly the same thing I did and survived. Thank you, NewLife2017.

They really are emotional vampires, aren’t they? And when they’ve finally sucked you down to a gray husk, in spite of you putting up the fight of your life for yourself and them, they look down in disgust at what they’ve created and step over your body and on to another victim….

NewLife2017
NewLife2017
3 years ago
Reply to  okupin

It took me two years to get out of my own head, and not have his words keep replaying. And I am working towards trying to know in my head, that the girl he left me for, he is still with (they were just friend you know), isn’t better then me and IS the next victim. Before I enforced no contact, he told me he was going to counseling to see how he can be a better husband and father, and no I wasn’t worth it for him to do it for me. She was everything I wasn’t he would say, she gets the best of him cause she deserves the best he says. The kids will see what a real mother and father should act. He also would ask me what I was going to do, since who would want a women like me, with all my mental instability. (note: my daughter was using his phone and found texts back and forth between ex and girlfriend, laughing about how ugly I am – and she told me and said – Mom I look like you, what does he mean you are ugly?) If he caught wind that I dating (which I wasn’t) he would ask, does he know your nuts? Its a long road to Tuesday.

brit
brit
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

I was also married to a Sociopath. Ex said that leaving me for AP was the best decision he’d ever made and he’d never been happier in his life.
He also took it upon himself to call my Mother who was dying of cancer at the time, the same thing.

No one in their right mind would want to fuck me, I’m mentally unstable, a pathological liar, pathetic, and told our son he didn’t have to respect me because I don’t deserve to be respected.

He comes across to outsiders as a “nice guy,” charming, articulate, funny, all American great guy.
People would tell me how lucky I was to be married to him.

His personality would change behind closed doors. Mr. Personality would turn into an arrogant, sarcastic, vile, hateful monster. He’d say it was my fault because he’d say he got along with everyone but me. I didn’t know what I was doing at the time but now I know it was just the fact that I was breathing.

DSquared
DSquared
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

I hate that guy for you. It’s important to realize that this was abusive behavior and that no normal person would treat someone this way. The behavior you described is downright sociopathic. All of those awful things he told you about yourself were meant to undermine your self esteem and weaken you so he could hold all of the power. You will heal from this and now you get to decide your worth, and not depend on a shitbag sociopath to define it for you. Sending you a big hug. Surround yourself with some good people who appreciate you, you deserve it.

Peregrine
Peregrine
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

@Newlife2017 A good friend told me: “Why do you listen to him? HE IS A LIAR.” Yep, that is my go to when I remember him telling me “she is so beautiful. I’m so sorry, but you are just not beautiful like that.” He hit me right where it hurts, my deepest insecurity. You know what? He is a liar and I am beautiful. So are you, Newlife 2017 – and so is your daughter.
I had another friend point out that beautiful people have integrity and his measurement has nothing to do with true beauty. AND, I’ve seen pictures of her and she is a hag – I also read her text messages to him -she is AWFUL.
Your comment: I was exhausted also rings true with me. I was so tired. Two months out, I can feel my energy coming back.

Left It ALL Behind
Left It ALL Behind
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

NewLife2017, my heart breaks for your daughter. I wish she had never seen those text messages. Praying she will have a strong, confident, positive self image that isn’t damaged by toxic comments from a toxic father.

KB22
KB22
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

Your ex has a cruel streak and there is no help for that nor will he change. His OW could shit ice cream doesn’t matter she’s next in line for his abuse. He’ll just keep sticking it to you, telling you how wonderful she is, as long as you allow any conversation with this defect. Shut down all lines of communication and if the kids are underage use an app for scheduling. Oh and OW deserves him, you and the kids so not…

Magically Chumplicious
Magically Chumplicious
3 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

What a toxic abusive ass. I’m sorry he treated you this way. I know exactly how that feels.

Beachgirl
Beachgirl
3 years ago
Reply to  okupin

That reminded me! He constantly berated me because I wouldn’t dye my dark brown hair with red stripes. My job (the one that paid for his lifestyle) wouldn’t allow variations in hair color but man I had to hear about it constantly. “If you loved me you would put red stripes in your hair”. I was also apparently fat as well (I’m 5”2” and weigh 110 pounds). They are emotional vampires!

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
3 years ago
Reply to  Beachgirl

My X called me fatso for years, even though I told him to stop! Then acted like it was a funny joke. ????

JWH
JWH
3 years ago

“I got chased down in the shower with xh holding a pickle that he needed me to see how badly I fucked up buying the brand I bought. I had no idea what was happening.”

Well, if a pickle is a stand-in for a particular body part, then yes – Xmaschump DID buy an inferior product. His.

For me it was pie. I made the wrong kind of pie and I should have known it wasn’t one he liked despite his eating it and complimenting me on it. So I told him no worries, I would never bake a homemade pie for him ever again. And I haven’t.

Left It ALL Behind
Left It ALL Behind
3 years ago
Reply to  JWH

Mine had an issue with never taking stuff out of his pants pockets at the end of the day. It was my job before doing laundry to fish all of the leftovers out of his constantly gritty pockets. Seriously, it was like he purposely picked up dirt to put in his pockets. He called one day in a rage that I hadn’t checked his pockets and washed a check that he left in his jeans. (The check was from our company and it would take one phone call to get it replaced.) I told him I hadn’t done any of the wash because I was too busy entertaining his guests that were staying at our house. He told me to never do his wash ever again because I was so lousy at it. THANK YOU!!! One less thing for me to do. It took him about 2 weeks to realize that I took him literally on that mean comment. Oh, and the check? It was found a day later in the pocket of his pants. (Took over a year for him to acknowledge his mistake, but only because he was hoping to get me to do his laundry.) They hate it when what they say bites them in the butt.

chumpnomore6
chumpnomore6
3 years ago

I also failed to check his pockets before washing his trousers.

There was a £5 note in them, and he screamed at me that it was *my job* to check his pockets before washing.

⚠️NoSympathyForCheaters
⚠️NoSympathyForCheaters
3 years ago

Good move! Way to stick to your guns! Let the cheaters do their own laundry if they don’t like your way. Laundry is NOT apart of the marriage vows!

Attie
Attie
3 years ago