Category: Cheater Tactics

Bait and Switch Cheater Tactics

A common refrain among chumps is “I never saw it coming.” Followed by all the ways their unbeknownst cheaters demonstrated they were invested. They sent …

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Things Cheaters Later Claim They Never Wanted

I never loved you! I never wanted children! What is this 30-year mortgage? I was trapped! Mated in captivity!  Can’t you see I’m trying to …

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‘What I Did to HIM?’ DARVO

Dear Chump Lady, I recently divorced FW after learning that he’d had numerous affairs, slept with hundreds of women, and taken thousands of dollars to …

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now i get it

Chump Epiphanies?

Hi Chump Lady, I have been reading your blog since my breakup five years ago. It has helped me so much to get out of …

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gym cheater

20/20 Signs They Were Cheating

Today’s Thursday Challenge is to Monday morning quarterback your life. Did you see signs of cheating before D-Day? To be a chump is to be …

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The ‘If You Aren’t Nicer’ Threat

People still submit one-liners of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say to me. Got this one yesterday: “If you aren’t nicer to me, I’m going to cheat …

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‘I Fail to Understand Your Hostility’

There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can …

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word salad

Cheater Word Salad Attacks

Chump Lady used to be a think tank editor in her younger days. Think tank publishing is mostly vanity publishing and not every book was stellar. …

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Dear Chump Lady, My Wife Is Near Perfect But I See Prostitutes

Hi Chump Lady, I happened upon your website and it seems to contain a lot of good advice for certain circumstances. But there are others, …

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Avoid feelings of paralysis

Lies Are Exhausting

A primer in mindfuckery today — exhaustion as manipulation tactic. If you’re a cheater and you want your chump to back off? Keep ’em running …

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‘Don’t Call It Snooping’

Dear Chump Lady, I need to get on the soapbox and say this. Back when Horace the “Porn Addict” and I were clients of the …

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butt face

‘I Feel Guilty for Leaving Him’

Dear Chump Lady, I discovered in September 2018 that my husband of 3 years (together a total of 13 years) had been having a 2-year …

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More Stupid Shit Cheaters Say

I know I have a page for this, but why hasn’t Stupid Shit Cheaters Say been a Friday Challenge? The time has come. When I …

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The Plan B Offer

If things don’t work out with her, perhaps you and I could work things out. This was submitted to my “Universal Bullshit Translator” inbox. It’s so …

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Way to Take Down a Cheater

A standing ovation for Talia Jane, a young writer who posted screen grabs of a conversation between her and married journalist perving on her. Need a …

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“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked

Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …

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Mindfuck blender

Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth

Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently …

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Chaos — The Fourth Channel?

I’ve often said the Mindfuck Only Has Three Channels — rage, charm, and self-pity. Recently, I was upbraided by a self-professed cheater. I’ll tell you: …

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Dear Chump Lady, He left me to BLOG with the OW?

Dear Chump Lady, I have a question. I am a bit perplexed. My husband ran off with a married coworker. He’s a true runaway, abandoned …

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Dear Chump Lady, Why must cheaters add insult to injury?

Dear Chump Lady, I am about 5 months out from D-Day. My husband and I were married for 6 years and together for a total …

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