If things don’t work out with her, perhaps you and I could work things out. This was submitted to my “Universal Bullshit Translator” inbox. It’s so cake-y and so common. Yeah, right, I want to be Plan B! Thanks for being so bold and out there with it, Cheaterpants. How many in CN have gotten this […]
Way to Take Down a Cheater
A standing ovation for Talia Jane, a young writer who posted screen grabs of a conversation between her and married journalist perving on her. Need a primer in how to shut shit down? Here’s a master class. Background — she’s a young, underemployed writer, he’s an older dude offering career advice. Then, as it often is […]
“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked
Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came in. There were days when I felt as though I were married to a teenager. He was self-sufficient, held a job, appeared responsible with money, but he CONSTANTLY made bad […]
Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth
Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently occurred to me that “trickle truth” is equally moronic… or Orwellian. (Moronically Orwellian? Deviously Orwellian? Anyway…) “Trickle truth” is like “truthiness,” the term comedian Stephen Colbert coined for the rebranding of […]
Chaos — The Fourth Channel?
I’ve often said the Mindfuck Only Has Three Channels — rage, charm, and self-pity. Recently, I was upbraided by a self-professed cheater. I’ll tell you: You’re spot on with the three channels, (but) you missed one: Big Chaos. Chaos is a premeditated distraction that’s designed to keep us together. Whenever I’d slip and fear she’d […]
Dear Chump Lady, He left me to BLOG with the OW?
Dear Chump Lady, I have a question. I am a bit perplexed. My husband ran off with a married coworker. He’s a true runaway, abandoned the kids and I back in January. A friend sent me a link to a blog today (gotta love the internet). The link opened up to a blog started by […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why must cheaters add insult to injury?
Dear Chump Lady, I am about 5 months out from D-Day. My husband and I were married for 6 years and together for a total of 14 (high school sweethearts we have been dating since we were 15). At the beginning of the year we had a fight regarding our sex life (or lack there […]
I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time
The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for a long time.”) It’s trotted out when the chump is looking for an explanation as to why their family life just blew up. Well DUH. “I haven’t been happy for […]
You Picked a Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille
Anyone remember that Kenny Rogers’ song? “You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille With four hungry children and a crop in the field I’ve had some bad times, lived through some sad times But this time your hurting won’t heal You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille” I was reminded of […]
You’d Like Them If You Really Knew Them
One of the classic “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” utterances is, “You know, if you met (the Schmoopie), you’d really like (him/her)! They’re a lot like you!” Yeah, you know if the circumstances were different, and this person wasn’t fucking your spouse, I’m sure you’d really enjoy scrapbooking together. It’s a patently moronic cake fantasy come […]
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