I call this: “If you didn’t want to go to Chicago, why’d you get on the train?” That rewriting of history where the cheater claims they Never Wanted the life they’ve been living for decades. Or never agreed to the deep sunk costs you invested in. Retirement savings? HAH! They never wanted it! An intact family? YOU TRICKED THEM!
So many cheater regrets. So much rewriting of history. It’s today’s Friday Challenge.
Walkaway woman proposed this contest:
During the slow death of the four-year clusterfuck that was my relationship with the Lying Cheating Loser, here are a couple of the things he claimed never to have wanted:
For me to meet his kids. I “pressured” him. Never mind the fact that after he succumbed to my formidable pressure, I was more of a parent to those two sweet humans (every other weekend, holidays, a month in the summer) than he was.
I planned – and paid for – vacations and outings, grocery shopped and cooked, bought Christmas and birthday presents… all the things. What he did? Sit on his ass and play videogames. Because “the kids just want to hang out at the house with me while we roast each other.” Not true. They were just pick-me dancing, and fully aware that voicing any wants or needs would not go over well with Uncle Dad.
Move in together. This happened after I had already met his kids, hence why it’s #2. I “pressured” him into this too. And actually, maybe I did. Through my rose-colored glasses, it looked like living together would mean easing our respective financial burdens. We already lived in the same town and spent practically every night together anyway.
So when he finally, yet again, succumbed to the pressure, he simply blew off paying his last month’s rent. When the shit hit the fan mid-month and the apartment complex threatened to lock him out of his apartment and deny him access to his stuff, who had to leave work and make a panicked, massive moving effort in her truck? Yours truly. Of course, he lied to me and swore he’d paid rent, but the apartment complex somehow lost his payment. Sheesh.
You couldn’t have talked me out of my determination to build a life with this clown, no matter how many red flags slapped me in the face.
I’m grateful it was only four years of my life down the drain before I cut my losses and moved on.
I’m now five years out, blissfully single, living my dream life.
Walkaway, I’m glad you’re out. And I hope those kids turned out okay. Thank you for doing the adulting during their time with Uncle Dad.
So, CN, what did your cheater claim later that they never wanted? What cruel commitments did you force upon them?