Many alert chumps sent me the Carolyn Hax column from yesterday, “Will She Always Be the Mistress to Her Now-Husband’s Children?”
Having been elevated to the status of wife from sidepiece, apparently she’d now like the proper deference.
The Universal Bullshit Translator is here for it.
My husband separated from his ex-wife six years ago as result of our affair, and we have been married for three years.
I won the pick me dance! Where are my prizes?
There was period of estrangement from his kids (ages 22 to 28 now) around the breakup.
I was promised prizes. Who are these sullen children?
After much abject apologizing, talking, accepting responsibility, and frankly extreme financial generosity on my husband’s part — well beyond what was legally required — they now are finally on a path to a better relationship.
We paid for better children. Well beyond what was legally required. I am very disappointed with my purchase.
As the mistress, I have been persona non grata from Day One.
But now I am the wife. BEHOLD MY LEGITIMACY.
I accepted that both as a foreseeable consequence and as the better place for their anger than with their dad, so they could someday get on the path they now seem to be on.
I couldn’t foresee a consequence if came with a GPS.
I love my husband so much, I’ll let his children blame their father’s wandering dick on me. Such is my devotion. Until the day his dick wanders elsewhere, and I am replaced. At which point I’ll marvel at my stupidity.
But as they repair their relationship and as I build very cordial relations with his extended family, who have been welcoming and gracious, I find myself unhappy with being the fall guy with his ex and kids. I exist and I no longer want to be treated as if I don’t.
Seething resentment is an excellent foundation of marital bliss. I EXIST, Children! Even Aunt Mildred is gracious! WTF is your problem?
His kids and ex explicitly excluded me from the kids’ high school and college graduations these past few years.
Fuckwit bleacher seating was full.
That was fair, and I supported my husband as he attended.
That was unfair. And I fervently texted my husband throughout the ceremonies. DO NOT SIT NEXT TO YOUR EX-WIFE. I am the new wife! BEHOLD MY LEGITIMACY! The turd is mine!
My husband has sought to introduce me to his kids several times, individually or as a group, but they have repeatedly refused, saying they are not ready.
It’s been three years. How long can someone be busy washing their hair?
I am invited to my husband’s niece’s wedding next year — and we plan to go.
Finally! I’m choosing my outfit, a subtle number with sequined epaulets that says, “John traded up!”
#bedazzle #destinationwedding #cleveland
However, his kids are close with her and will certainly attend. None of them has said anything to their dad yet about my being there, but it’s coming.
I wouldn’t want to detract from the niece’s big day, but my appearance may create DRAMA.
I don’t want to undo all the progress my husband has made,
Did I mention how generously we paid for these children?
so I am prepared to bow out; he won’t go either, he says, in that case.
Everyone will be crushed if we can’t make it. Especially Aunt Mildred.
But when will it end?
The UBT suggests checking his Tinder. Probably soon.
Am I going to be The Mistress forever?
Singular? No. You never were.
Does adultery carry a life sentence? Appreciate any guidance about how to move forward or if we should just give up trying.
I would appreciate any guidance that sees me as the true victim here. Which is why I didn’t write to Chump Lady.