UBT OW: I Just Want to Reach Out and Help You!

condescendThe Universal Bullshit Translator just can’t get enough of supercilious, OW twat waffle condescension. It’s like popcorn to the UBT. Popped fresh from Satan’s own blast furnace.

Amazon chump sent in a doozy:

My ex’s OW sent me the below email when he decided to stay married to me after I filed for divorce. Stupidly I believed him. He started fooling around with her again within a couple of years. I didn’t waste any time the second time around. I divorced his adulterous ass. Now he’s with his skank. I’d love the UBT to work on this:

Your wish is the UBT’s command, Amazon chump!

My therapist thought it might be helpful for you to have this information.

Harassing you was my therapist’s idea. Really!

I’m not a condescending twat waffle — I’m helpful! 

I have really wanted to reach out to you many times in the past, but I just wasn’t sure how and what to say.

“I’m fucking your husband” is a nice ice breaker.

Let me first say that I apologize for what you have been through and are still going through.

I’m so sorry for that nebulous Thing you are Going Through. Of which I have no pronouns or active verbs. Sometimes Things just engulf us, like sarin gas. Or fall from the sky like anvils. Who knows why? It’s one of God’s little mysteries. I don’t know what you did to piss off God, but I’m sorry for you. 

You have a lot of life ahead of you and my sincere wish is that you find a true healthy relationship.

Stay away from my man! 

You didn’t have a True, Healthy Relationship with him, like I do! Sneaking around for 11 years, fucking in cheap hotels, waiting for the one glorious day you would divorce his ass he would leave his wife for me. 

I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him.

My affair was just part of God’s plan. I trusted in God, waited for years, and got your husband! See what happens if you just trust in God? 

Although we have been house-hunting and planning for the future (living together, cruise/trips, one truck, not two, etc.),

Nyah nyah! GOT YOUR HUSBAND! 

Am I gloating? Hey, I’m the picture of modesty. I only have ONE truck. That I share with your husband… to have romantic adventures and house hunt with. 

Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.

I keep him on a very short leash. I’d tether him to a bedpost if I could. The way best friends do. 

I respect this but my concern is really for you.

I’m concerned you’ll win the turd back. 

In order for you to have a healthy relationship you first must have a truthful relationship.

He only lies to you. Never to me! Too bad you can’t have a healthy relationship like I do. 

You asked me before for information which I declined to provide, but I believe for you to move forward in the relationship, address the issues, you have to have full disclosure.

Please be the hypotenuse in my triangle! Don’t you want information that only I can give? Can’t you just beg pretty for it, so I can deny you and say it’s for your own good? KIBBLES!

Otherwise you are doomed to continue the life you had which you have acknowledged was unhealthy and unhappy for over 26 years.

DOOMED! If I don’t get some kibbles, shit’s about to get VERY ugly. 

I don’t know if you both can overcome the past as sometimes there is too much to get beyond and rebuilding trust is very difficult if it can be done.

But I do know for certain that you will never be able to overcome the past if you don’t address it and in order to do that you need to have full disclosure which Dave will not provide.

You need us. 

We’re all about honesty and full disclosure, except for Dave. Who won’t provide you with any details. But you should work harder to trust him. Or you’re doomed. 

You also need a third party to help you with this so I hope you will continue with your therapist or a couples therapist.

You’re batshit crazy. I hope you work on that.

I’d rather not go into a lot of details in an Email

I try to avoid anything like legal documentation. I prefer in person mindfuckery. 

but am available to meet with you in person in a neutral setting or even in the safety of a counseling session if you are willing to do so. I am not proud of my participation but suffice it to say that for over 11 years of your 26-year marriage, there has been a daily intense emotional and physical relationship between he and I that has included many out of state/in state trips (including M****, camping with the girls, MN, NC, TX, OK, AZ, CO, CA), countless meetings in homes, offices, public places, shared workouts/walks, gift exchanges, thousands of phone calls, Emails, there’s nothing we didn’t discuss and many, many lies and deception to you.

I’m not proud of those 11 years of shared workouts, gift exchanges, phone calls, emails, and surreptitiously fucking your husband. When I was roasting marshmellows with your girls around a campfire, I thought, “Gosh, Amazon Chump should be here to see the precious memories I’m making with her children.”

That daily intense emotional and physical relationship with your husband is something I regret. Daily. 24/7. Yes, I’m free next Wednesday, Dave!

I left off Rhode Island, foot massages, and putt-putt golf.

You may not believe me, but I have always regretted and will live with it until I die how you were made to doubt your own self-worth! You’ve been second guessing yourself and said in an Email that you’ve “been played for a fool”. And I know this because I have been made to feel the same way!

I’m a victim too! ME! In fact, my pain is greater than your pain. The regrets I’m burdened with… they’ll haunt me until the day I die. Just the other day, when I was house shopping — with your husband — I felt a twinge of sorrow. I had to lie down. And fuck your husband. It passed.

I was applauding you for taking charge of your life, seeking counseling, filing for divorce and recognizing the woman you can be!

I WIN! I WIN THE TURD! HE’S ALL MINE!

You have to decide what kind of individual you want a lifetime relationship with and I know you have not always held males in high regard

You’re a hairy-legged, man-hating lezbo, aren’t you? That’s why you can’t keep your husband satisfied. Maybe you should consider dating women, seeing as you hate men. Just a friendly suggestion! 

but I hope you know that you don’t have to settle for anything—what you’ve endured is not normal and not what you or any woman deserves.

I am not normal. I settle for side dish fucks. I don’t deserve better. Let me cloak those difficult thoughts in  heavy spackle and projection. 

Of course you could choose to disregard this Email, act as if all of this is in the past and just move on together, but then you will continue to live the same life you have had for 26 years and the odds are great that the same patterns will continue.

I’m not going anywhere, bitch.

Talk with your therapist about this—what do you need to move on and how to move on for you, and/or for you and Dave as a couple.

I saw a therapist when we were ending a 32 year marriage and one of the hardest things I had to get through my head was the idealization of a relationship that just wasn’t.

Apparently, it never got through your head as you’ve spent 11 years as a side dish fuck. Excuse me, confidante/best friend.

The therapist even got frustrated with me

I’m sure she’s not the only one.

because I kept saying, “well, if we could go back”, “if he would just do this”, “if I would do that”, etc. What I had to learn was that the relationship I had thought we could have was just not possible because that is not who he and I were together. My regret is that F* and I did not end amicably.

It’s shocking that F wasn’t amiable about me screwing other men. I regret his unreasonable animosity. 

Should you want to discuss more I will respond to you. Should you not want to discuss further I will not ask again. Either way, I hope you accept this Email as it is intended.

I hope it fucks with your head. I hope you think of me always and forever. When you’re shaving your legs — Twat waffle! When you’re standing in line at the DMV — Twat waffle! When you’re filling your taxes — Twat waffle! 

Please accept my desire to be utterly central. Kibbles! 

I told you when you visited my office that I was speaking from my caring about you, a fellow human being.

A fellow human being, but a lesser one. I care about man-hating, batshit crazy lezbos. I speak with kindness to all of God’s inferior creatures. 

I wish you the best whether you are able to work through the issues and come out as a stronger couple, or if you amicably decide otherwise.

Keep it amiable! I’d hate for you to come after me with a gun. 

Take care of yourself,

Fuck off and die.

SAB

Satan’s Affectionate Bitch

Shits After Belching

Sweet Ass Bandit

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324 Comments
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Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago

Just fucking unbelivable. This poor excuse for a human being is NPD. Nuff said.

Confused123
Confused123
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Oye! Amazon Chump.
All I hear when I read the OW email is someone who is “desperate” for return on her 11 year investment even when she know it’s a worthless piece of shit. It’s almost like she’s screaming “give me my dividend” for all I have invested. What a loser she is!

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

What does Amazon Chump need to move on? How about taking a marshmallow skewer and sending it right through Twat Waffles eye for camping with her children???? I know that would put a ton of emotional real estate between me and that whore. Can’t believe assholes like this actually exist. SMH.

wendy
wendy
8 years ago

yep. Shaking my head through this whole thing…. it basically explains why this went on for 11 years – she’s crazy.

Justanotherchump
Justanotherchump
8 years ago

That has got to be one of the craziest OW letters we’ve seen! What a piece of work! this lady needs the most help of all yet she’s ready to dish it out to help others. What a whack job! Stay as far away from her as you can and don’t even bother to reply or talk to her about anything she suggests in this email. Good grief! unbelievable!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago

And she is the one thinking Amazon Chump needs a therapist?! Rich. That’s rich.

Jess's Mom
Jess's Mom
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I refer to the crap in this nutslut’s letter as the Mother Theresa complex. It’s like a strange twist on narcissism. People like this love the adoration that comes with making others believe that they are super self-sacrificial … like Mother Theresa but without the necessary commitment, honesty, and hard work that went into Mother Theresa’s life.

Mother Theresa’s reputation was real. The nutslut … like every other narc I’ve ever met … can only be a pretender to the throne. No integrity. None.

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  Jess's Mom

Mother Teresa was also a lying piece of crap too.
Go look up the stories of where she squirrelled away money for herself, and how when she got ill, she went to foreign doctors to get fixed. What, wasn’t her hospitals good enough? Of course not.

WhereisMia
WhereisMia
8 years ago
Reply to  Lania

Lania good for you and your courage to call it what it is !! Yes I am well aware from excellent Christopher Hitchens documentary on her and other boguses under the guise of good Samaritans doing gods work. I felt sorry for the poor who were entrusted into her care and used as mere props. Yet another disordered revered exposed ! These are narcs positioned perfectly for global kibbles. And don’t get me started on that Dalai and pope and whole establishments that use these people to generate the gravy train!!!

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  WhereisMia

By the way, WhereIsMia (and others):
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2008/05/mother-teresa/
Read this page, and realise just how much of a fucking narcissistic fuckwad this woman was.

Patsy
Patsy
8 years ago
Reply to  WhereisMia

Mother Theresa was a narcissist. So was Princess Diana, and Margaret Thatcher (told my by a psychotherapist. But ‘caring’ narcs do do a lot of good, so he says.

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  WhereisMia

Its not courage, really. Its, like you said, calling people out on their shit.
And, no matter who it is, they need to be called out on their shit.
I can’t fucking stand people who blatantly lie, cheat and steal, or are apologists to that shit.

NCstevie
NCstevie
8 years ago
Reply to  Jess's Mom

^^^nutslut^^^ Bahahaha!!!! Bout choked on my soda 🙂

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

God loves me more than he hates divorce.

wendy
wendy
8 years ago

AMEN. “The writing of divorce was given for the hardness of their hearts”. Enough said.

Patsy
Patsy
8 years ago
Reply to  wendy

Don’t focus on what God will do to them. Al Anon says: there is your business, and then there is none of your business. Remember instead Jeremiah 20 ch 11-14: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Know that this is all part of God’s plan for you, that happiness and better is round the corner. Them? Let there sorry ass selfishness reaps its own rewards, not your problem!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I suppose that might work if you were an old school Calvinist believing in double predestination–i.e. “It was God’s will that I damn my own soul to Hell” sort of idea. I don’t believe in that doctrine myself…but the OW may….

wendy
wendy
8 years ago

the OW doesn’t believe in anything except herself.

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago

I don’t believe in double predestination that is. God gives us free will and enough rope to hang ourselves is my own opinion on the matter. Sounds like the OW is doing a fine job spiritually of tying and using her own noose.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

On utilitarian grounds, Jeremy Bentham might encourage the OW to hang herself.

divorceat25
divorceat25
8 years ago

Some people like using God’s omnipotence as a way of excusing their own poor behavior. Arguing that if something happens in a world where He is ever powerful then by the fact He does not stop it then He must support it. This is completely ridiculous, God hates evil, he hates adultery. However, He loves us enough to give us free will and we are responsible for all our actions. Without Free Will then all the good we do would also be completely meaningless. Sinners like pretending that they have God on their side, because I guess the alternative is too difficult to live with.

mrsvain13
mrsvain13
8 years ago
Reply to  divorceat25

that is kind of where i am lately. it blows my mind that the hood rat is still married and mine is not the first married man she “helped” out of a sad marriage. i see her as evil, as satans succubus.

but lately she has been posting religious things. “God forgives you. God knows you are not perfect. God has a plan for you.”

and i realize that all she has to do is ask God for forgiveness and all the crappy hateful and cruel things will be forgiven. it kind of bothers me because i tried so hard to do the right thing, i sacrificed for my husband and family. and this bitch just does what ever she wants, destroys my marriage and my family, enjoys the pain that she has caused and doesnt give a second though on what she has put my children and i though………..all because she is happy now with my husband, he treats her good and now she asks God for forgiveness.

so i struggle with the fact that since neither one of them have had any consequences for their really bad and evil behavior well then i guess God kind of doesnt care so much about it after all. i am not saying he doesnt hate adultery and the pain that it causes but it does seem like if am i to believe that God is going to forgive me for the things i did, he is going to forgive her and him for the things they did.

chumpanzee
chumpanzee
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

mrsvain,
I hope you don’t mind my posting this psalm – I have felt much the same way as you, and it is very helpful for me, even now, to read it when I start to feel discouraged again. God cares and He sees.

Psalm 73
A psalm of Asaph.

1
Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

2
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3
For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4
They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.
5
They are free from common human burdens;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6
Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7
From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
their evil imaginations have no limits.
8
They scoff, and speak with malice;
with arrogance they threaten oppression.
9
Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10
Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance.
11
They say, “How would God know?
Does the Most High know anything?”

12
This is what the wicked are like—
always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.

13
Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
and have washed my hands in innocence.
14
All day long I have been afflicted,
and every morning brings new punishments.

15
If I had spoken out like that,
I would have betrayed your children.
16
When I tried to understand all this,
it troubled me deeply
17
till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

18
Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.
19
How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!
20
They are like a dream when one awakes;
when you arise, Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.

21
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27
Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

mrsvain, this is why I’m firmly athiest.
What ‘merciful’ god would allow some disordered fucker to spew their way through life scot-free and destroy the lives of innocent people? Those innocent people DO NOT DESERVE THIS SHIT, from a ‘loving’ god or otherwise.
You don’t get a ‘get out of jail free’ card just because you pretend to care.

NCstevie
NCstevie
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

X-hole started calling himself a “Christian” and doing late night telephone bible study with OWhore (think they already gave it up ) and I told that miserable lying ass prick “You and that tramp can’t fool God asshole, you can’t LIE to God, he sees everything and he can see right through your bullshit.” I also made sure that I mentioned that during their next session they should read up on what scriptures had to say about adultery, not favorable at all. Bad juju for sure.

Just because you start showing up at church on Sunday quote a few scriptures and post religious intentions on Facebook it does NOT make you a good or decent Christian or even a decent person for that matter. And I am in TOTAL agreement, forgiveness requires TRUE repentance and that requires remorse and a commitment to BE better….to live a life of integrity and not continue to willingly choose to be evil and deliberately deceive and destroy.

What kind of delusion does it take for one to think they can lie to the Almighty??

mrsvain13
mrsvain13
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

thank you so much ForgeOn and chumptotheend. i dont know where my head is and sometimes i just seem to be losing faith in humanity. i see and witness so much evil and unjust and it seems like there is no consequences for those people. they just seem to get ahead. i cant say that i lost faith in God. i know he is a just and loving God. i am just lost in a sea of unjust and i am so tired of struggling and being lonely, i guess. i dont know. i trust in God but i feel like my pain is not worth of His attention. so many more people are going thru much more evilness then i am. i know i need to turn to God for strength, but i am so very tired of being strong. i am not perfect, i have done some bad things in my life. i try to be and do better every day but it is hard to watch those that dont reveling in the rewards. i appreciate your words and i am going to print them out as a reminder to myself not to give in to self pity.
thank you again.

chumptotheend
chumptotheend
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

Dear Mrsvain13. Forgive me I know that no one can really speak for God but my read on the Good Book says that one is to “Repent and be forgiven.” not just ask and you shall receive. I understand that repentance involves remorse for the wrong one has done and a turning away from that wrong. In other words, she cannot maintain an adulterous relationship and be repentant for it at the same time. They are mutually exclusive. Without repentance there is no forgiveness. She may believe that she is forgiven but that don’t make it so. This seems to agree with other things God has said about the judgement we shall receive. There will be many who will say Lord Lord look at all that I did for you and he shall reply Get away from me I never knew you. I could be wrong about this but something in my heart tells me I’m not. It is knowing things like this that gives me peace when on the surface things seem so wrong and unfair. Don’t let your faith be shaken by her. Whatever it is that you believe be it in God the father, Allah, Bhudda, Kharma , none of the great faiths teach that one can do wrong and then flippantly ask for forgivness and it is is given easily. It may be given freely to those whose heart is truly sorry and asks but if your heart is secretly rejoicing in getting away with the wrong and you live reveling in the rewards of your wrong there is no forgiveness. If God allowed that I would have to become an atheist. True repentance is something the guilty have trouble coming to. Most all of it is what CL calls imitation naugahyde remorse. Don’t let OW’s crap eat away at you. She is not worthy to even claim to be the same species as you. they both suck but you don’t.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

Dearest mrsvain13,

Remember, Judgement Day is still in the future, my dear. THEN, they will get the full ‘reward’ that is due them!

Satan just loves it when these situation cause us to question God’s view & feelings on these things! What looks like, from your perspective, that they have not reaped sad consequences from their actions is all part of Satan’s works! Remember, Satan is working very hard to turn us all away from God, with all the lies he has perpetuated.

Hang in, dear one! When they get what the have comin’, it will be way better than anything you could ever inflict on them!

From what you have shared, they have NOT met God’s requirements for forgiveness. It is his view that counts; not the sinner’s! So many say “well, I’ve told God I’m sorry & it’s all good now” all the while carrying on in sin, no changes, no remorse. Sorry…NOPE! Not how it works at all! God has requirements!!!

God DOES care for you and all the ways you have shown your love for Him!

ForgeOn, mrsvain13, ForgeOn all!

wat700
wat700
8 years ago

Amazon Chump – that OW is batshit crazy! Well done on sending her disordered attempt at manipulation to the UBT to be unravelled and ridiculed. Hopefully you are well on the way toe Meh.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago

Omg, i have never wanted to punch a total stranger in the face more in my life.

divorceat25
divorceat25
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Yep

startofsomethingood
startofsomethingood
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Agreed! Holy f**k!

MICHELLE
MICHELLE
8 years ago

I have had one conversation with OW in 3 years. It was a phone call out of the blue when I thought STBX and I were still working on things. She was psycho…”I won’t apologize for falling in love with your husband, I told my pastor I can’t feel bad about it, just because you had him first do you think that means you get him forever, you have to move on because you can’t really believe that your marriage can survive this…” At the time, I thought she was delusional. Turns out I was the one who didn’t have my head on straight. She was telling me all the things he didn’t have the balls to say.

mrsvain13
mrsvain13
8 years ago
Reply to  MICHELLE

i got the same phone call when i was thinking that we were working on things. she called from his phone right after i talked to him because she was sitting right next to him telling him what to say. i STILL dont understand why she called me, she told me that “he doesnt want you” and she “respects him”. she also told me that she “knew about his boys. and of course his boys love and need him. he was their dad”. somewhere in that conversation she told me she was still married and right about that time i wondered why the hell was i talking to her so i hung up on her.

i thought she was grasping at straws at the time. and was desperate. But in all reality, she is evil. she did not care that she was destroying my marriage, and my family. she did not care that she was taking my childrens father away from them. in her mind, she was HELPING my husband and sticking up for him. saying the things that he couldnt tell me.

i use her words all the time, telling myself that “He just didnt want me”. and there was nothing i could do.

a few times after that she would tell me to “get over it” and to “Move on”. even thou it was only a few weeks after i found out about her. of course they had been talking for months so they were way ahead of me.

it mind boggles me how someone can be so cruel and hateful. and THIS is the kind of woman my ex thinks is a good person. they are happy now. doing what they want and enjoying life while me and my boys are struggling everyday. he wont cheat on her for a long time, if ever. it was just that he was so unhappy with me that he cheated on me. and well, he really didnt cheat anyhow because we were “broken up”

you cant rationalize with someone who doesnt have a conscience or any moral background. i have no doubt in my mind that they are good together and will be happy. she is better for him then i was. i have too much moral, values and standards and neither one of them do.

chumptotheemd
chumptotheemd
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

Mrsvain13, Any woman who allows herself to become involved with a married man while she is also married regardless of the circumstances is evil. There is no justification for it. There is no justification for her to betray her husband and there is no justification for her part in your husbands betrayal of you. I don’t care what a man would say about his spouse or how bad he might try to portray her if a married man had ever come on to me or ever did I would find myself highly offended and insulted that he might think so low of me that he thought for one second that he would have a chance. I believe that if a man truly respects a woman he would never ask her to participate in anything that is immoral or unethical which committing adultery clearly is. When they take up they both know in their hearts that they are scumbags. Worms really. I do know that when you first find out that you married a worm you kinda think they might be a worm but at least they are your worm until it becomes apparently they didnt’ think the same way. And any woman that actively pursues a married man is a whore. A harlot and she is the epitome of evil. She is also a thief. In essence what she is doing is not only trying to take your husband but by doing so she is basically trying to replace you and take over your life and make it her own. Taking what doesn’t belong to you is stealing. What I can’t wrap my mind around is her claiming to have gone on camping trips not only with your husband but your children. WTF? how old are your kids? I know that it must’ve put them in a horrible position which in my mind amounts to child abuse by their father because he basically forced them in to an activity in which they are participating in your betrayal. I think you better get a good lawyer and ask for full custody. What a selfish bastard to do that to his own children just to satisfy his own needs. He has no clue how damaging that is to those kids. It could really twist them up and make them messed up adults like him. I’m sure OW was feeling like such a winner as she was trying on your family for size. But know this although no one may say it outloud she will always be the whore who broke up your family and she can never be legitimate. Even when she walks down the street with her nose held up in the air….she will be a fraud pretending to be a decent human when in reality she is a sneaky lying cheating child abusing hypocritical slut who thinks she respectable but is respectable to no one but herself and even your husband will not end up respecting her and if he was willing to cheat on you when he sees her for what she really is he will be looking to trade her in too. She is pathetic really. But don’t excuse him because of your anger toward her. He is just as guilty and should be condemned with her. I know how wrong it is to feel as if something you valued so much was taken and there was nothing you could do about it and it seems no one really cares about the pain you are feeling and how it envelops you to the point of suffocating and how the pain in your chest feels like it is crushing you. this is not in your head. It hurts more than anything. I know I was initially ashamed because it occurred to me that it would be easier to deal with my huuband having gotten sick and dying of cancer than for him to abandon me like he did for the sake of a woman who wasn’t worthy to breath the same air as me yet he suddenly told me that after 10 years of marriage that I thought was truly happy that we had only married for convenience. I almost choked to death when he said that. Nothing could’ve been further from the truth and I had all the love letters and cards and pressed flowers and pictures and memories and hopes and dreams that said otherwise. I think they have to lie to themselves too or don’t have a conscious other wise they would have to go kill themselves for what they are doing.

MICHELLE
MICHELLE
8 years ago
Reply to  chumptotheemd

You know my heart. You said everything I could ever say about my situation. Bless you.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  MICHELLE

Wow, Michelle. Now the OW can try to keep him forever….ha ha–not clear whether the greater hell would be keeping the cheater forever or having him cheat on her, too.

donna
donna
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I’m hoping X keeps her for the rest of his pencil dick life. Yet he will never stop cheating. Enough said.

Syringa
Syringa
8 years ago
Reply to  donna

Mine was a serial cheater too. He’d had a half dozen wives before me and cheated on all of them. If he isn’t cheating today it’s because he got old and is a little long in the tooth for it. But he would in a heartbeat given the chance. I guess that’s why Skank Woman won’t marry him. Maybe she’s not quite as stupid as I thought she was. She did however, refinance her house and paid ALL of his bills two months after they met. You know, instant Twu Luv and all. Refinancing your house to pay off your married boyfriends credit cards. Bwahahaha. I guess that means she paid off mine too since it’s a community property state. Now that’s desperate for a man!! Well, she WON him because she bought him! I can’t help myself, I still like to fuck with him.

Tracy
Tracy
8 years ago

You had me at “camping with the girls”……. Did this woman and Amazons husband take his daughters with Amazon, camping with his whore? Did these daughters never tell their mother? “Hey Mom Dad’s girlfriend makes great campfire pies!!!”…….
WTF……
11 years of this? Ok…I couldn’t endure that, and my husband put me in JAIL, so I can handle some stuff being done to me.
Amazon…..please tell us you are divorcing and taking his ass and his twat waffle to the cleaners….or throwing them in the campfire ring.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

RE: Dave. I think the best way ‘ease his conscious’ might be with an anvil falling from the sky (because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a conscience).

Wow, the hubris. Sorry, Amazon Chump. That letter reminds me of the story in Seabiscuit where the jockeys used to bury themselves in huge piles of horse manure to lose weight. So glad you lost Dave-weight (who can’t even be bothered to pick a sane OW).

wendy
wendy
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

hahahahhahaha,,,,,,,, OMG I am dying. Mostly because I’m a colon therapist…. I look at shit every day. What a great analogy.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Horse manure to lose weight? Does it work? I could stand to drop 20. Sounds better than dieting and exercising.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

That’s why the infidelity diet works so well. It’s like being neck deep in manure.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

WORD!
(but I do look fabulous 25 pound lighter, not as good as when I lost the 180 pounds of Narkles the Clown though)

Arlo
Arlo
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Ohhhhhhhhhh, now I understand

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Good one Carmella1722!!!

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago

Yep! I got this too, but in the form of one-liners from the OW! I would send a very business like request to my Ex and of course SHE handles all of his personal business! So of course I would get responses such as, ” here is the information you requested, I’m giving it to you because i am a nice person even if YOU aren’t!” Really? WTF! I asked for tax info and I get an analysis of my character? Bitch! You don’t even know me! Made me want to scream! Who do these bitches think they are anyways? Oh yeah! YOU are so nice! Fucking other people’s husbands! If that qualifies as “nice” then I’ll pass, thanks!

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Roberta, “Who do these bitches think they are anyways?” Short answer: entitled, deserving, thoughtless, unkind, fuckwads who are severely personality disordered.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpB

Roberta, “Who do these bitches think they are anyways?”

They think they’ve “won.”

Winning crap is still crap.

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
8 years ago

There are no words. Of course the UBT nailed it as usual.

Get the popcorn ready Amazon Chump because I’m predicting a bumpy ride for Ms. Twat Waffle and your ex. Make sure you let her no that you have a strict “no return policy!”

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago
Reply to  Cheaterssuck

A CN classic–“When a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy” comes to mind.

chumpita
chumpita
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

As much as we know we shouldn´t confront the OW if I were Amazon I would send this idiot a classy response such as:

Dear SAB,

Thank you so much for clarifying that I wasn´t the crazy one all those years that we were “sharing” my husband without my knowledge. But don´t worry about me, I have moved on because I am delighted that Dave is with someone he truly deserves. I am serious: you deserve each other! And your letter will help me get what I deserve from the divorce arrangement. For this I am so grateful that I have passed it on to my lawyer and also had it analyzed on chumplady.com! Its such a good letter that I think it will go viral!

Best regards,

Amazon

P.S. “When a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy”

donna
donna
8 years ago
Reply to  chumpita

No responce to the OW in this case. It’s one thing for the fucktard to invite that thing into his life. Stand tall knowing this piece of shit is his for the keeping. Let the two Slurpees silp and slide in the hell they created with each other.
Amazon Chump my heart goes out to you for having to deal with such a Sadistic Asshole Blow-job

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  chumpita

As we used to say in the ’70’s – BURN!

Chump4Bolero
Chump4Bolero
8 years ago

LOL!!! BURN BABY BURN!

chumpita
chumpita
8 years ago
Reply to  chumpita

I should of added poor F* to the letter:

“..I have passed it on to my lawyer, to F* and had it analyzed on chumplady.com”

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  chumpita

Awesome!

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

If you’re not doing him in his car… Who is?

moxie
moxie
8 years ago

LOL!!!!

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Yes, exactly. The section where she brags about all her romantic trips with the cheater…..just sounds kind of desperate and as if she is also convincing herself that their relationship is perfect. I bet there is already trouble in paradise.

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
8 years ago

Let her know even!

WiserToday
WiserToday
8 years ago

Yeah, it was my “trust issues with men” that my STBX attributes for his reason to faceplant in real and virtual pussy smorgasbords. Twenty years of blissful ignorance, 6 years of total demoralization while unicorn-chasing, and 2 years of zero face time hopefully ends today. My divorce hearing is at 2 pm. Since he has refused to provide an address – because he’s, uh, living in his semi truck, poor sad sausage – and did not respond to notices of publication and, as far as I can tell, a continent away – I should be opening a bottle of champagne by 3.

Just wondering if/when I should give him the good news. The way I see it, he de facto ended our marriage years ago and didn’t bother to inform me, and turn about is fair play. Wish me luck, chumps!

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Don’t bother telling him. Why bother.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Good luck wiser! I’m excited to hear the champagne pop open!

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Good luck Wiser and congrats on regaining your freedom!

BetrayedFriend
BetrayedFriend
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Best of Luck WiserToday!

chumpita
chumpita
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Good Luck Wiser! What a relief! Please have a glass of champagne in th name of Chumpnation!

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

YAY!

You go, Wiser! So glad you will be rid of that sorry excuse of a ‘guy’.

Yep, silly you, not trusting him……The only thing you can ‘trust’ about him is that he s____!!

So much easier to live an authentic life, contributing in a positive way to your fellow humans and to your community without the burden of a life-sucking drama queen!

ForgeOn, Wiser……ForgeOn, Great Nation!

donna
donna
8 years ago
Reply to  ForgeOn!

Wiser, congratulations! You deserve an authentic life!

Sah
Sah
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Good luck!!!!

thensome
thensome
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Wishing you the best of luck today!!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserToday

Woo hoo, WiserToday!!! We will all be routing for you & popping champagne corks today in honor of your freedom!

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

WiserToday, let us know!

HM
HM
8 years ago

I don’t even know what to say. Great interpretation UBT. I particularly identify with the “nebulous Thing You Are Going Through” as I was subjected to that nonsense quite a bit and it always made me feel horrible – CL, you nailed it. Thank you for validating my feelings.

I also like the “Take care of yourself = fuck off and die” because that is one I have used myself **takes a bow**

Amazon Chump, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry you have had to go through this bullshit. All I can say is that from here I guess the only direction is up and thank goodness you are rid of those psychos. She is completely out of line emailing you. I would be pissed. I would block her; but that doesn’t do much for this email. I would imagine it will take some time for you to burn off your anger at receiving this projecting, gaslighting, blame-shifting piece of crap.

And no…do not meet with her to “find out what’s wrong with you”. That’s just fucking insane. What’s wrong is that you had two parasitic growths. They have been removed. All systems go.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago

Good for you Wiser! Good luck and hallelujah!

TheClip
TheClip
8 years ago

Love love love love when the OW think they got their shit together and are now offering you advice about leading an authentic life. Ya ! I will get back to you on that offer to meet with a counselor. Perhaps we can book a pedicure after and then go to Applebys for some sliders? Maybe Dave can meet us at Happy Hour? Rrrrrrrrrright. Smile, laugh and touch their hands/arms often. Pay the bill. Put on your coat. Accompany them to the parking lot. Quick embrace to both. Turn and get in your car. Watch as the two thugs you hired to kick the shit of of them in the parking lot…. Drive by and wave.
Why do then always need to keep the triangle going… What is the geometry psychology there?

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

“Perhaps we can book a pedicure after and then go to Applebys for some sliders?”

Oh Clip, you are my muse!

Nord
Nord
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

I find that interesting as well. The final OW in my case stays far, far away from me but the ex, every so often, will try to create some drama and thus revive the triangle. Since I don’t give a single fuck what he does as long as it doesn’t interfere with my life he’s left pissing into the wind, which infuriates him. I assume he’ll soon find another side piece to keep the triangle going.

NCstevie
NCstevie
8 years ago
Reply to  Nord

Same here, OW has ZERO desire to attempt any tangle with this chump. I ate a TON of shit for X-hole for too long and that stopped when I found out about her. After the voice mail I left her…..not a chance she’d even think of crosding over that line, she is too much of a coward.

Justin
Justin
8 years ago

“please don’t think of her as a bad person,” SAB just couldn’t bear the strain!

PF
PF
8 years ago

Dear Amazon Chump

That pathetic deranged email from the OW should make you relieved you divorced your creep husband.

Your husband being with that nutcase is karma served on a silver platter.

Two cheaters, two liars, two nut-cases, and it’s a matter of time when they’ll turn on each other.

Amazon, they need you to fuel their dysfunction, they need need a victim and a scapegoat.

Celebrate your freedom from their crazy and soon enough they will implode.

Kim
Kim
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Truer words have never been spoken. This has been so helpful to hear. The OW has proven herself to be a total nutcase to me and his family as well. They are seriously worried about her level of craziness. I’m just sorry I have to send my daughter over to them half the time.

But yes, they deserve each other. Two people who can so flippantly break up two marriages, ruin the lives of two precious little girls (OW has one as well), and think that it will all work out fine because they are HAPPY and that’s all that matters. I hope they stay together forever, never quite trusting each other and making each other miserable forever and ever.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Kim

If OW is so happy why does she need to see a therapist? Why would the therapist get frustrated with her? This OW’s email is a shit salad with poor sausage as the main ingredient and a sprinkle of “I won, see I have him” spoiled croutons. Can you please gob it down and most importantly, can you write back so I can still feel important, so I can tell Dave that him and I are still on your mind?

No Contact is truly the best chump’s strategy…

“Let the wicked slay themselves.” – Bob Marley.

kbchump
kbchump
8 years ago
Reply to  Kim

Oh my God…”What about MY happiness”…my cheating ex whore bitch still says this to our daughter almost 2 years later. It’s ALLLLLLLL about HER happiness!!! Burn everything else down dammit! Sickening.

Nicole S
Nicole S
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

I think you’re right about it being just a matter of time before they turn on each other. It seems that what holds many of these cheating idiots together is the excitement of the secrecy, but once that is gone, they realize it’s just diminishing kibble and it falls apart. Yuck.

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  Nicole S

NicoleS, you hit the nail on the head. Once I divorced my cheater and extracted every asset he once owned he then moved a state away to live with his internet Twu wuv! I left them totally alone and made sure NC was maintained by cutting off any discussion of them with any family or friends we had in common. Yep, gave them both what they said they wanted….to be together and happy! But what is so funny is that his Schmoopie just had to pop into my life via email or text every so often to stir up some shit! I guess it wasn’t enough that she had him living with her. She needed to keep the vial drama going! Guess that was the aphrodisiac that was missing after they realized that life wasn’t so great now that they had blown up two families in the name of Twu wuv! Yep! It just became the same old same old with a different man/woman in the bed at night and we all know how quickly these fucktard a bore without some drama! I don’t feel guilty or bad that my Ex and Schmoopie only lasted 5 months after he divorced me. Did not surprise me a bit. It did not surprise me when, like Amazon’s OW, that she kept the vitriol and drama going. Unfortunately it didn’t work because I refused to answer her and play the game. My advice, ignor this hardup(11 years? Really?) bitch because that will disappoint her and piss her off. Just give that little email to your lawyer and let them use it to derive something good for you and your kids!

Nicole S
Nicole S
8 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Roberta- The “reap what you sow” aspect of your story is such a good reminder for us that there is justice- it just comes with different timing. Every time I read more pieces to your story I celebrate a little- not that you had to go through it, of course, but that your husband has gotten what he deserves. Talk about letting God take His vengeance.

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  Nicole S

NicoleS, I understand what you mean and that’s why I share this with ChumpNation. My Ex thought Schmoopie was the entire answer to his perceived troubles! But in reality his little hag was nothing more than a bundle of trouble! She was smart enough to cover her “flaws” with plenty of window dressing, sympathetic understanding and money to get him divorced from me, but once he got a load of living with little Miss Mental disordered then he realized (to late) that everything I had warned him about her was the truth! And oh the crocodile tears just flew! I reminded him that he could have trusted my judgement after 41 years of having his back and his best interests at heart, but no, he decided that little Schmoopie was so much smarter and so much more honest with him! She really “loved” him (read lust)! When in truth she was a complete nutter! I believe that 95% of these cheaters, both men and women, who walk out on their marriages are pretty miserable, but they simply don’t have the guts to admit it was all fantasy, smoke and mirrors! Their own pride brings them right to the gutter. Hate to actually say I told him so, but I did so many, many times. The divorce was one consequence of his bad choice, but that’s going to look like a cakewalk for him now! Nobody wants to risk having a lying, deceitful, cheating asshole around now. He is reaping the harvest of some bad choices. I remember he and Schmoopie taunting me and laughing at me thinking they had it going on! Well, she who laughs last laughs best! Don’t see him laughing it up now. I just hope all of my fellow chumps get to indulge in their cheaters downfall like I did. I must admit, it is delicious revenge, God help me!

Kate50
Kate50
8 years ago
Reply to  Nicole S

And they’ll never trust each other after realizing the lies they’ve told over that MANY YEARS, OMG.

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago

How is it the OW has NO SHAME?!? I can’t even

Kate50
Kate50
8 years ago

I’ve been doing lots of reading about Psychopaths lately and this OW sounds like one, so with that in mind Amazon Chump, I would “now” feel pity for her, she is sick and has no conscience and I can’t image living a life like that. Knowing this information also helps us detach from the insane, it did for me anyways.

Sionara
Sionara
8 years ago

I have found my tribe, and it is here. You people are the best.

NCstevie
NCstevie
8 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Also sorry you have to be here because that means you’ve been chumped like the rest of us. With that said…..welcome to Chump Nation, you will LOVE it here!!

Marked711
Marked711
8 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

I’m sorry you were forced to join the club that no one wants to join. But, this is the best place to be right now. Welcome.

BetrayedFriend
BetrayedFriend
8 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Welcome to CL and CN!!

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Welcome!

Arlo
Arlo
8 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Yep! CN is the best!

SoontobeDE-CHUMPED>
SoontobeDE-CHUMPED>
8 years ago
Reply to  Sionara

Yep. The selfishness is disturbing. Delusion.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago

I love those stories on Dateline where Keith Morrison is narrating a story about some broken couple somewhere; There’s years and years of betrayal, hidden assets, abuse, and a crazy AP off in the distance who keeps taunting the chump and boom, someone just snaps . . . This is exactly why some people end up shot.

I don’t know what I’d do if the person who had been having an 11 year affair with my husband sent me an email like this. Giving me advice as to how to move on and have a happy life? Giving me a high-five for being all the woman I can be? Pulling my children in the mix?!

Seriously, I might respond enough to her to say, unless you want to end up like Jimmy Hoffa, don’t contact me again. The nerve of these people . . . damn.

Nicole S
Nicole S
8 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

My friends and I joke around that I should write a book and call it “I Could Have Been a Dateline Story.” It is eerie how many of those stories are similar to mine and other chumps. Enter a beloved husband who everybody thought he was such a great guy. Suddenly his wife ends up missing or dead. It couldn’t be her husband, he was a boy scout leader and a deacon at his church and such a nice guy. Wait, a little more digging and turns out he has been constantly messaging an old girlfriend on Facebook and forgot to cover his tracks. The old girlfriend asks him to run away with her forever because this this true wuv and he agrees but needs to “take care” of a few things first. Shocking! Maybe he did do it. Turns out it is ALWAYS the cheating husband/wife and off they go to prison for life. Gosh they were a sociopath all along (think Scott Peterson)! Because of the depth of my husband’s secrets and cover up, I have no doubt he considered taking me out. I’m grateful every day that I am here for my kids. A year ago I would have said he could never do something like that, now I see him for the narc/sociopath/psychopath/whatever that he is.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Nicole S

Same here Nicole, I was extremely ill 14 years before D-Day (and as I later learned about 3 years after my ex’s long term affairs began). I have several friends who now believe my ex and his AP’s may have tried to poison me. The frightening part is I cannot say they are wrong. I just don’t know.

But after D-Day as I slowly came to realize what my ex was (a sociopath), I have to believe that he at least considered offing me. I also thank god every day that he didn’t.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Oh and I always say that my story would make a good Lifetime Original Movie, the kind that everyone says “oh that could NEVER happen.”

Nicole S
Nicole S
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Oh Kelly, that’s awful. You never know, he could have done it. What convinced me that my stbx is capable of anything is that he was extremely cruel to he and his own sons. His own boys sobbed and begged him not to do the things he was doing and not only did it no phase him, he seemed to enjoy it and he doesn’t deny that he enjoyed it. Full blown psycho.

Meg
Meg
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

My whole family thought my XH would kill me rather than lose half of our assets or pay alimony. I was very careful, moved out to an apartment, never let him know. I watch Dateline & 48 hours weekly and it is Almost Always the cheating spouse. They are so charming but the sad thing is that they feel entitled to have it all, and if you divorce them you’re still not safe because you dared to leave them. My XH lives on the other coast but I still keep an eye out!

Nola
Nola
8 years ago
Reply to  Meg

My Ex is going to be getting his first letter from my attorney in about 2 weeks’ time and I leave the country for two weeks just around then. He will be livid as he thinks that he can continue to give me a pittance while he lives the high life with his Eastern European girlfriend. He has no intention of dividing up our assets. I too, am afraid that he will do something quite destructive to the home I live in or to me. Dreading what it will bring in terms of retaliation.

Chump Nation is what keeps me strong. Thank you all.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Hey! How do you know he’s buried there!? Traaaaceeeeeeee . . . .

KenderJ
KenderJ
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Of course, growing up in NV, we were always told he was buried in the desert somewhere near Yucca Mtn.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  KenderJ

Call Geraldo Rivera…. He might know.

ANC
ANC
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I thought he was buried in cement on the Lodge…

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

also heard he could be in a cornerstone of the Renaissance center in Detroit.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

My Dad said he got away, but then he laughed really hard.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

When I was a Spartan, the dorms used to serve “Johnny Marzetti casserole”– a disgusting concoction of hamburger, pasta, tomato sauce, and cheese. We called it “Jimmy Hoffa stew.” Just a counter-hypothesis…

Phi Slama Jama Mama
Phi Slama Jama Mama
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

“The secret’s in the sauce…”

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

Sipsey knew her shit!

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

SPARTY ON WOOOO! (You made me remember that fabulous game a few weeks ago.) Fantastic!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

Thanks for the link; that was awesome! “Oops!” as a former presidential candidate might say.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

I know, Rumblekitty!! I hear the Wolverines had to take all the “Arrogance is Bliss” stickers off their cars.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I grew up close to it, too. I was always told he’s under the Silver Dome!

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago

I always heard he was under the Silverdome too. But I read awhile back he’s actually in a land-fill in Jersey.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago

As awful as this letter is, I would take a little bit of joy in it. OW is clearly nervous and things aren’t going the way she thought they would. After all, Amazon Chump is allegedly a bat shit crazy man hater with all sorts of issues and yet, when served with divorce papers, Dave wants to stay married? He has his out and doesn’t take it? Hmm. I think a very faint little bell is going off in the deep recesses of OW’S brain, buried under thoughts of marshmallows and hotel rooms and a map of the US and pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, and she knows she is nothing more than a common OW, albeit a long term one, who has wasted 11 years on a cheater.

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Yes! Yes! Yes! Carmella is spot on! My Ex professed his Twu wuv of Schmoopie over and over again prior to divorce! Sat in deposition and announced his intention to divorce me and marry her as soon as he could! Then he got his divorce and never even got close to marrying the bag! His brother asked him when he was going to marry her and he said “never”! Guess that must have pissed her off! Now he’s just a lonely, homeless, jobless old fool! She and he split the sheets, but she made sure to clean out the joint bank accounts! Got to hand it to the gold digging hag, she wasted no time getting rid of her “soul mate”! Bwahahahaha! So much for fairytale romances!

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Amazing! He got financially ripped twice? That’s gotta hurt! BTW, how’s his health?

KenderJ
KenderJ
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

You are spot on, Carmella. It’s was this part that told me that twu wuv happily ever after was not happening.

“Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.”

He’s getting ready to dump her ass, and she knows it. She’s desperate and flailing around for anything that “might save the relationship” including telling Amazon Chump anything and everything to make her run from “Dave” as fast as she can. Too bad for Twat Waffles that she doesn’t know that she already “won” the jerk.

KenderJ
KenderJ
8 years ago
Reply to  KenderJ

oops, sorry. I missed the part that this was sent during reconciliation after the first D-Day and that Amazon Chump divorced the creep after the second D-Day. Carmella was still spot on, it is the letter of a desperate twat waffle to keep her ill-gotten man and try to get Amazon Chump to run for the hills.

Uniquelyme
Uniquelyme
8 years ago
Reply to  KenderJ

Can you imagine anyone thinking that someone else may want that piece of shit? Delusion much?

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

You are on a roll today, Carmella!!

Kate50
Kate50
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Ha, I think you nailed it Carmella, she is worried and hoping by telling AC everything, she won’t want Dave back, problem solved. I might even send an email back and tell her, don’t worry he’s all yours now, the divorce is going through, sleep well now :). Something that simple.

Taking the other path
Taking the other path
8 years ago

I think of the OW as very clever. What she did was give the wife a whole lot of things to think about. I’m sure the wife is now wondering when all those trips took place, going over and over this new information in her head. The OW just made everything fresh again. If the wife was on the fence as to whether she wanted to reconcile, this would most probably push her away from reconciliation. THAT IS EXACLY WHAT THE OTHER WOMAN WANTS..she doesn’t give a shit about the wife and her feelings, she wants to turn the knife and make the pain all new again. She want the husband to think she’s an awesome person by offering to assist in counseling. The OW is afraid that she is losing the husband. Afraid that the reconciliation just might happen and she’d be out. This was with the dual purpose of looking sweet and helpful to husband and rubbing the wife’s face in it. She will tell husband that she wanted to help his wife and can’t believe that she took this all wrong. Explain that wife is crazy for this letter renew her rage. She will comfort him from mean, mean wife…

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
8 years ago

Didn’t this dope just give Amazon Chump a confession of infidelity? I hope she takes both of them to the cleaners.

Amazon Chump, whatever you do, don’t even acknowledge receipt of OW’s email. It will drive her batshit crazy when she realizes she’s not worth a response.

KB22
KB22
8 years ago

Exactly! This e-mail was purely intended to rub Amazon’s face in the affair so she would have second thoughts of reconciling. Skank kept referencing the “patterns of 26 years” referring to Amazon’s failed/doomed marriage and how it is not meant to be. So ex cheating husband is a sniveling little weakling that has now hooked up (or more like stuck) with a psychopath. Works for me:)

Kate50
Kate50
8 years ago

Yes! That letter was filled with manipulation.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago

Ding ding ding. Nailed it, TTOP.

Lost2015
Lost2015
8 years ago

The total lack of self awareness in these people (the cheaters and their APs) is truly stunning. We know the cheaters are generally self-entitled nut jobs, but it also makes sense that the AP would have to be too. Why else would you date a married person unless you had your own issues to sort out?

I pity the therapists and counselors whose job it is to try and figure any of these folks out. Good lord they are all deranged.

Lost2015
Lost2015
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

And CL, right on cue on HuffPo today: A married woman with a “perfect life” and children divorced her husband for another married man (and is sad that he didn’t end up divorcing his wife for her like he said he would, so now she’s alone).

This is probably a good summary of what is going through my wife’s head right about now. I think her married AP made her promises to leave his wife that he didn’t keep either (she’s been posting those BS narratives on Pinterest about having a broken heart and needing to be free to chase happiness). I just need to get the nerve to finally just divorce her myself. I would love to see the narratives she posts on Pinterest after that.

Anyway, the self-entitlement and total lack of consideration the HuffPo author shows for her spouse and her kids both enrages me on the one hand, and just plain confounds me on the other. I just can’t wrap my head around any of it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorced-moms/i-left-my-husband-for-him_b_8426642.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Lost2015

OMG, that blog post! Poor kids, and I hope the unknowing chump ex-husband finds great happiness now he no longer is married to that entitled nutjob.

newchumpatl
newchumpatl
8 years ago
Reply to  Lost2015

Wow, that Blog. GAG.. DOUBLE GAG HEAVE.

Michael.
Michael.
8 years ago
Reply to  Lost2015

Next UBT?

Michael.
Michael.
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

+1

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  Michael.

Make that 2! Deranged is probably the nicest way to express this behavior!

Maggie May
Maggie May
8 years ago

Ran across a Blog this weekend that brought tears to my eyes. The wife had been chumped for 40 years and now seems to be defeated….” MY JOURNEY INTO DARKNESS- THE STORY OF THE WASTED LIFE OF PATRICIA STOCKTON AKA PATRICIA HUFF”…..Maybe you could find some time to check in and show her some Chump Nation love……My take is that she desperately needs it…..Just the title of her Blog speaks volumes.

Nord
Nord
8 years ago
Reply to  Maggie May

Well, that was depressing as fuck.

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Nord

Hahahahaha oh it’s not that bad. I kind of love how she seduced him to stick it to the other woman. Chiquita has balls.

Nord
Nord
8 years ago

I wouldn’t go near my ex’s dick with someone else’s vagina. God knows where it’s been since I last saw it.

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Nord

It will probably fall off on its own.

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Maggie May

That blog is heavy, but good. Holy crow.

nancytymensky
nancytymensky
8 years ago

This is manipulation of the ninja level. The dysfunction is mind blowing. This letter has sent me into a wake up call, this is not my xh, this is not my ow.

Good LORD.

sephage
sephage
8 years ago

Four words sum up that entire bizarre OW letter:

– Cognitive dissonance.

– Bat-shit crazy.

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  sephage

Here- “I went to counselling, but I’m a horrible person, so I will pass the advice along to someone with a conscience…. ” seriously… Some people’s children

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
8 years ago

This letter is an incredible specimen of mindfuckery and self-absorbsion. AmazonChump, stay strong!

Thanks to the UBT for taking this one on. Nailed it!

TiredChump
TiredChump
8 years ago

This letter is simple.

SAB/OW is essentially saying: “Dave is not over you – and in case you Amazon Chump are not over him – I am going to tell you a bunch of things to make sure I sabotage any remaining feelings you have for him. So, to twist he knife in as far as possible, I will inform you of gifts,lies AND trips with your kids you may not have known about; and further, I will render a verdict that your marriage was bad for 26 years, was not part of God’s plan, and that you are a good person who should not be willing to put up with lying,cheating, house-hunting with his f-buddy Dave.”

My thought? — God does have a plan for sure – and it is to smite down SAB, the horrendous home wrecker and attempted head wrecker of Amazon Chump…………….

Amazon Chump – you are mighty – do not listen to one word of this insecure, desperate, home wrecking, psycho-babbling and crazy B#@CH. This letter is beyond appalling.

Hugs,
TC

Michael.
Michael.
8 years ago

I’m glad I never got anything like this from the OM. It would take some serious restrain to not reply.

AmazonChump – this is totally a challenge for you to open that door so she can really mess with you. Pandora’s Box. Don’t do it! It’s a childish dare and she is indirectly calling out, calling you chicken. She’s almost begging for a response so she can have centrality. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  Michael.

Absolutely. The disordered OW cannot wait for Amazon to go off on her, thus allowing the OW to “win.” In reality, the best way to win with disordered folks is to ignore them. Total silence. Crickets. That drives them crazy. The moment you engage with them in any way, ESPECIALLY if you go off on them with anger, you have played right into their hands and given them what they want… power over your emotions. By staying silent, you retain the upper hand. It can be hard not to respond though, believe me, I know.

Uniquelyme
Uniquelyme
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

You know what’s worse than hatred? Indifference. I hope Amazon Chump ignores this letter.

I have ignored ALL the ex’s emails – and finally they stopped a few months ago (DDay was nearly 3 years ago, and divorced over 2 years). It worked. He finally stopped bothering me.

kb22
kb22
8 years ago
Reply to  Uniquelyme

Oh he’ll continue to pop in every so often-hoping for some sort of reaction (good or bad) and you are so right, indifference is exasperating to just about everyone but especially for the cluster b group.

Michael.
Michael.
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

+1. A strange kind of zen.

ChumpDad
ChumpDad
8 years ago
Reply to  Michael.

I wouldn’t have that restraint. I’d reply myself into an orange jumpsuit for 20 years to life.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

Yep. I think that would be me as well.

No
No
8 years ago
Reply to  Michael.

Agree, let her thumbs fall off refreshing her email waiting for a response.

uniballer1965
uniballer1965
8 years ago

I got to the part where she invoked God has a plan. Oh, how I remember hearing that from my ex-wife. “God just wants me to be happy!”

Really. I’m not sure the word happy appears, or is at least prominent in scripture. Depending on the translation, it does appear in The Beatitudes in Matthew. But then it says things like, “Happy are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.”

I don’t recall happy are the cheaters….

In fact, all you have to do is look at the story of David and Bathsheba, the sword never left David’s family from that time on.

For those who invoke the “God wants me to be happy…” defense should really spend less time with other people’s spouses and/or spend less time frolicking with those who are not their spouses and more time actually studying the faith they claim to follow.

I don’t think the “worlds” definition of happiness is even close to what scripture describes as God’s definition.

James 1:2-3 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

(I don’t see cheating in that, nor any hint that you should cheat. I see the opposite. If things are difficult, which could include your marriage, work on it. No, I’m not saying remain with a cheater, or a beater or similar. But if you disagree on where to eat, etc, that’s not a marital crime… you don’t need a new spouse if one of you is vegetarian and the other an omnivore.)

Proverbs 1 is also a pretty good warning and outline. The bottom line is if you satisfy your lusts outside of the plan of God, you sew your own destruction. Too few are willing to learn true wisdom.

While I realize not all are willing to embrace Christianity, to me, I see wisdom in not having sex with someone who is not your spouse if you are married or single.

If you married, you likely made some sort of vow with your spouse to be true to them. If not, then by not sleeping with those with whom you are not married, you will not unwittingly end up sleeping with the spouse of another.

Chumpion
Chumpion
8 years ago
Reply to  uniballer1965

“Happy are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.”

Love it.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago
Reply to  uniballer1965

Bravo Uniballer. I HATE that ‘God wants me to be happy’ shit, and I HATE people who trot out God when it’s convenient for them, and pervert His word to suit their own agenda.
And the other side of the same coin-”God hates divorce,” usually invoked when trying to get a chump to stay with the spouse that betrayed them, when they see the reality of losing their kids, half their money, and their perfect public image.
In Jesus Cheater logic divorce=bad, adultery=A-OK?

Kim
Kim
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

I am not religious but I thought infidelity was one of the only biblical justifications for divorce. Somebody correct me if I am wrong.

uniballer1965
uniballer1965
8 years ago
Reply to  Kim

As with everything else in Christianity, it’s a debated topic. Most agree that you can divorce an unfaithful spouse. There is a fringe that suggests you can’t or if you do, you can never marry again. There is a whole “standers movement” that believes you should stand for reconciliation with your unfaithful spouse. There are others who take out of context the scripture that says if a woman divorces her husband, she should is to marry none other than her former husband… 1 Corinthians 7

This of course ignores other passages that speak about divorcing an unfaithful spouse. Not to mention Matthew 15, on church discipline. If someone is sinning, you are to go to them in private, if they won’t stop, take it before the leadership in the church and if they still don’t stop, then it’s a matter before the whole church. If after that, if they still don’t stop, they are to be treated as an unbeliever.

Well, let’s take it back to 1 Corinthians 7:15, what does it say about an unbeliever? “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”

So it’s my view that no only can you divorce an unfaithful spouse, but because they are either an unbeliever or are to be treated as one because they refuse to stop sinning, you are no longer bound to the unrepentant, unfaithful spouse.

I would never be so presumptuous to tell someone whose cheater came back that he/she must take them back. While I think Christianity is about forgiveness, and we can never refuse to forgive without facing the hypocrisy of our sin being forgiven, what right do we have not to forgive others, I think that’s a matter between God, the adulterer and the betrayed. For I would not feel qualified to tell someone if their adulterer were truly repentant, or just missing their kibbles and cake.

See Matthew 18:21-35, the parable of the unforgiving servant.

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  uniballer1965

My Ex and his Schmoopie would invoke God into their sickening sweet harlequin emails! It’s disgusting! They expressed that God was testing their love through all their trials with their meanie spouses trying so hard to keep them apart! Double yuck! Well, I guess whatever “God” they were referring to finally gave them exactly what they wanted and guess what…..it fell flat on its behind in record time! Do I feel bad for them? Fuck no! You get what you deserve in life!!! They got what they wanted and then like two toddlers they found it wasn’t REALLY all that great! Too bad!

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago
Reply to  uniballer1965

I agree with your post. But there is one question I struggle with. Is it okay to sleep with someone you know for sure is single, when you are single ? According to my evangelical church, you can only sleep with someone you are married to. This makes the whole job of dating even uglier, because one has to make prospects wait forever, something that is bound to fail in close to 100% of cases. Who would take the risk to marry without having spent the night ? I am lost. I hate to be trapped in the dating zone again. And I do not know how to handle multiple dates in parallel. I resent the fact that I have to date again at 55. Even if many prospects seem to like me. It’s just something I hate to do.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpFromF

I’m have not a religious bone in my body, but I think if your church and religion are important to you, you’ll find someone who has the same values as you, like no sex before marriage. If a guy can’t wait for that, he’s not for you.

I think two single people can do whatever the hell they want, but that’s me. You have to decide what you believe.

moving forward
moving forward
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpFromF

Listen, these are good guidelines. But at age 55, I think you can adjust the guidelines set out by the church. It does not make you a bad person. It makes you a person who is in charge of developing a healthy life.

Dating is about finding out if you are a good fit.

So, what are your rules for dating? Yes – you can set those. For example, you won’t sleep with someone until after 6 dates or 6 months. Those are the rules you choose and that you communicate/agree with the person you are dating.

If you are dating multiple people, tell them. Tell them what your conditions are. “I like you and want to find out more. But I am not ready to be serious and I not interested in getting physical. Since I am new to this, I won’t even think of getting physical until I date someone for 6 months.”

It is tricky at first but men respect honesty and clarity. PLUS you need to ask and understand their rules to see if you are actually on the same page.

Good luck!

uniballer1965
uniballer1965
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpFromF

I’ll tell you what I tell my 17 year old daughter, no one died from not having sex. So if some boy(man) is trying to make that argument, they are not being honest.

Not saying it’s not difficult. It wasn’t easy at 17 and while I’m re-married in my 50’s, I can’t imagine it would be easier today.

I’m an engineer, not a theologian. It’s my understanding that sex meant for marriage. I think that part, evangelicals get right. If someone is trying to convince people that sex is dirty or shameful, well, I don’t think scripture makes that case.

I think some do some pretty shameful things to “get sex.” After all, if someone is cheating on their spouse, or lying to convince some young girl that he just has to have it or he’ll die, or whatever lies women tell men (fake boobs, fake pretty much everything…), then that’s pretty shameful.

Sausalito
Sausalito
8 years ago

OW

Sausalito
Sausalito
8 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

Funny how that came up on my Facebook feed yesterday…

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

That’s awesome!

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

Ha, that’s perfect for my ex. He actually said that God sent his main OW in answer to his prayers to cure him from being gay.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

Now that should be a bumper sticker. And a t-shirt. And a billboard. And the subject of a homily. And the 13th truth in SA. And a Carrie Underwood song. And the subtitle to CL’s next book.

One Step at a Time
One Step at a Time
8 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

That is funny, Carmella!!

Heartofgold
Heartofgold
8 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

Love it, Sausalito!!

JC
JC
8 years ago

Is this phenomenon of OW passive-aggressive mindfuck confined to the female sex? Does any male chump here have a story of his wife’s AP “reaching out.” Mine didn’t.

Marked711
Marked711
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

Nope, her AP didn’t. He continued her lying, but only one contact when I called her on it. He did say she was a longterm loyal friend. How come I’d never heard of him in 30 years?

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

Avoidance is his mindfuck of choice.

JC
JC
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

I guess. If he wrote to me, I think I would have just laughed, and considered it inconsequential. He has poor character, yes. But what mattered to me was her poor character, not his.

There will always be slime out there willing to fuck your spouse. What matters is that your spouse avoids such people, as opposed to being slime herself (or himself).

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

In my circumstance, I think it’s both. Her crappy character DOES affect me since it seems likely that she’ll be spending time with my son at some point in the future. It’s a double whammy for my son and me because they’re both still connected to my life and they both suck.

I have little doubt that your internal UBT would go into overdrive if you ever heard from him. But he made it clear that he places all responsibility for what happened on her and felt very little guilt for his role in things. “It was her choice to be with me” was pretty close to his exact words.

The ability of cheaters to compartmentalize, blame shift, and feel righteous about their shitty behavior just boggles the (normal) mind. They are indeed slimy weasels who squirm out of whatever they don’t feel like thinking about or dealing with.

JC
JC
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

I did learn early in my divorce process to simply delete / throw out e-mails and letters from my ex asking for another chance. The logic was that I’d already made my decision, so why save something that wasn’t consistent with it? As the divorce progressed, I also threw out other blameshift/mindfuck communications not specifically related to the legal/financials. I like to think I would have done the same had I heard from your husband, but you’re right: chances are it would have been such a surprise that I would have emotionally engaged, despite knowing better. And back then my UBT was a mere Version 2.0, as opposed to the refined, luxury model I now possess. Results could have been poor.

I agree that you and others here are stuck in a shit situation because you don’t have the choice to fully ignore it. You have to deal with two people who want to engage on only what they choose, and choose to ignore / squirm out of anything they don’t. Two-year-old children at that way, but at least you can teach them to change. Not so with cheaters.

accubonded
accubonded
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

Not so much “reaching out” as taunting. Sending me texts like she was cheating the whole marriage and the kids weren’t mine (they all look like me so it was an attempt to get a reaction from me and mindfuckery) I didn’t know that I possessed the kind of restraint to not respond but I did. Now face to face would be a completely different story

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
8 years ago
Reply to  accubonded

“Now face to face would be a completely different story”

Do you think he was trying to goad you into a reaction they could later use against you? These cheaters always characterize the spouse as horrible and the marriage unbearable to justify their cheating. I think with wives it’s usually bitchy, cold, sexless, “bat-shit crazy man hater”, etc. But I think for husbands it’s often either neglectful or abusive and controlling. Men can be sitting ducks for that kind of accusation. Good job not throwing any punches. I think that’s what they want.

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
8 years ago

Wow, that is so upsetting, what a fucked up bitch and the saying “with stupidity, even the gods compete in vain.” Comes to mind.

I’m too upset after that, I think I need to lie down and recover from her nasty underhanded selfish comments. Her therapist needs shooting. I’m sorry you have to put up with that shit Amazon chump, I hope you look forward to a few years from now when their true character is shown.

Anita
Anita
8 years ago

That is a textbook example of Delusional WhoreShit. Lol, too funny. She still wants to be a side dish fuck. Boo hoo. Her husband divorced her nasty ass, and now she finds out Dave never planned to get with her anyway. Talk about STUPID

Arlo
Arlo
8 years ago

UBT has been working out!
Looking good 😉

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
8 years ago

Sounds like Dave is playing from two decks. I would HAVE to reply to this salad of mixed nuts with the following:

Dear SAB,

How did you ever find out about us. I am so sorry. God’s plan.

Twulips

Futurechump
Futurechump
8 years ago

Is it bad that i almost wish i had an OW to hate? I need something to concentrate my animosity towards and perhaps be able to ridicule like this but instead i just have the sea of porn stars and women on dating sites that my husband uses. I would also like an OW to come steal my pervert husband away from me so it wouldnt fall on my shoulders to make the hard decisions while he thinks he just has a little problem and is somehow constantly getting better but never actually better. ?

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Futurechump

I don’t care if it’s an addiction – if he doesn’t treat it like one. if he’s not getting treatment, and not doing everything he can to stop- it doesn’t mean anything. because then he’s a horny toad who doesn’t give a shit about you. He is sucking away your life and your time. My husband is the same- porn porn porn. Then it escalates to messaging escorts, then it’s craigslist hook up sites. He begs forgiveness and says that’s it, he will try harder. Everything is magical for a week. Then it’s underwear in the laundry and God knows what in your cooter.— it’s not so bad- an empty marriage, pretending to be perfect on the outside, a lot of work on your part and him always just making you feel like you’re failing- and also he does nothing. Because somehow, his problem makes you feel like you’re not enough. The worst part is that I rarely get laid. I’m a dirty girl, I would put out dammit. But I don’t get it. I get “tired” or “sore” or “wired so I’m going to stay up and “read” (message some ho)” you want to get biblical? A good woman is like rubies. Songs of Solomon calls down lovers to each other, not to f-ing dating sites of ho’s…. Lay low. Collect screenshots of his dirty secrets and bills, and play nice until you are ready, then get some trusted friends to help you make him leave. Make him leave. If he’s a good dad, try to keep it civil for the baby. I’m so so so so sorry.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Futurechump

FutureChump, your husband has is an addiction. Just like a spouse who drinks too much and denies there’s a problem, your husband is denying he has a problem. Have you thought about visiting Al-Anon to see how they suggest approaching a situation that is becoming more painful to you by the day? You can’t fix his problem, only he can do that. Put your own welfare ahead of his, take care of yourself. Listen to your gut. You shouldn’t have to live in a way that makes you feel demeaned every day. Maybe talk to a lawyer to find out what would be involved in filing for a divorce, just to know what you’re up against. I know I buried my head in the sand hoping things would just get better, but they just got worse. Hope you’re talking to a counselor!

WiserTof
WiserTof
8 years ago
Reply to  Futurechump

Give it time, FutureChump. Sooner or later he will escalate his internet fantasies into real-life encounters. They only get worse.

Futurechump
Futurechump
8 years ago
Reply to  WiserTof

I know….we have only been married a year and a half and he lied his way down the aisle. I was young and pretty and a virgin but he did not appreciate that bc what is a normal pretty girl compared to porn stars? I thought i was fat and ugly! Now we have a baby and im really just waiting until i have enough money to leave so i can take care of the baby. I told him i want a divorce.

Arlo
Arlo
8 years ago
Reply to  Futurechump

FutureChump, you don’t have to wait around for a “good” reason to leave a worthless porn-addicted liar. All you have to do is decide if his actions are ok with you or not. Know your worth!
That being said, it did take a brisk slap in the face in the form of my husband parading a girlfriend around to get me to take a good hard look at my situation. I should have dumped the alcoholic deviant freeloader years ago.
FWIW…

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  Arlo

‘That being said, it did take a brisk slap in the face in the form of my husband parading a girlfriend around to get me to take a good hard look at my situation. I should have dumped the alcoholic deviant freeloader years ago’
Arlo, does your X know he has an identical twin brother?? That was dead on my Cheater X!

Futurechump
Futurechump
8 years ago
Reply to  Arlo

Thanks Arlo! I have accepted the fact that he’s never going to ‘get better’. I’m a Christian so we are always taught that hes filling a void and needs to have a relationship with God to overcome this addiction. Sounds easy right? Well I’ve also accepted the fact that he will never have a relationship with God either. He says he loves me And wants me more but his actions always prove differently. Good for you for leaving! It’s never easy no matter what they do.

lostntx
lostntx
8 years ago
Reply to  Futurechump

Do you really believe he is on dating sites and not meeting others? What does your gut instinct tell you? I found out the hard way, when you suspect there is reason. I wish I had listened to my inner voice sooner. He needs to take actions not just say words. Is he seeing a therapist? Does he do something like celebrate recovery? If not, he really doesn’t want to change. Is divorce allowed in your situation? Only God and you can decide that. Ask your church if there are some women that might coach you through this. Just be careful, often times people have opinions that aren’t based on the bible. In the end, you have to do what needs to be done in order to survive.

nodancing
nodancing
8 years ago

How do they even write this stuff? It’s like what monkeys would write randomly after a million years with a typewriter, it barely makes sense. 11 years. 11!!! I hope Amazon chump is getting $$$$$$ in this divorce.

TP
TP
8 years ago

I would simply email her back stating that I want to work it out with my husband. Please do the right thing and stay clear. Do not contact me again.

Then divorce his ass!!!!

It’s the little things that make me chuckle! I take them where I can get them.

mrsvain13
mrsvain13
8 years ago
Reply to  TP

when i was younger and full of piss and vinegar. i would have responded with something like this. i would have told her how he told me everything and how he laughed about her. how he said she was ugly, and fat. and he just didnt know how to get rid of her. i would tell her that he said she was bad in bed, and had saggy tits. and how he had to fantasize that he was doing Jennifer Lopez when he was with her. that he said she smelled bad down there and he worried about getting a disease. i would say whatever i could just to make her feel bad. and then for him, i would turn around and fuck his best friend.

but now i am all grown up and figured out it is not worth the drama. still it was the hardest thing i ever had to do was to let her “win” and not fight for what i believed in, not fight for my husband and my marriage.

DeeL
DeeL
8 years ago
Reply to  mrsvain13

mrsvain, the game is rigged. There is no winning. Once you get cheated on you already lost. And it was your spouse, your best friend, that cheated you out of the “win”. The only “winner” in a cheating scenario is the cheater and they rigged the game, that you didn’t even know you were playing, for them and them alone to win. But let’s look at the prizes: cheating ho bag, cheating, spineless asshole. Damn sign us all up. Those damn prizes sure look mighty fine lol.
We didn’t lose a damn thing. All we lost was the dead weight that was the cheater. You are not missing out on anything. He might seem to be under her control, but in reality, no one has complete control over another person, unless that person is tied up in a basement somewhere. It seems ludicrous, but seriously, you are not missing out on anything or anyone important. And all of it, all the pain, all the disillusion, all the “relationship” that you are missing, it’s all phantom pains. Just think of your ex as a gangrenous, rotting, puss filled extension that you had to get rid of. He will not be “better” for her, he will be his same, wishy-washy, slug, slime, of a “man” that he showed you he was. She’s got his balls in her purse, that is not a good thing. It’s rather laughable in fact, but that is what he “chose”. You are mighty mrsvain. Just keep on telling yourself that until you believe it.
This life is hard, its painful at times and it’s beautiful at times. Allow yourself the “luxury” of seeing the beautiful times even though you are feeling down. This was not what our life was supposed to be, it wasn’t what we signed up for, but unfortunately this is what we got. But if you give yourself a moment to look around you, even though it is hard, it is much, much better than having that dead weight just bogging you down, not letting you be the person that you could be.
You have been through so much in your life and your still managing. You are mighty. You just have to start believing in yourself and stop wanting to believe the “story” that should have been your marriage. If you would have known that the man you married was this thing that he is now you would have walked away screaming at his ugly soul. You believed, like we all believed, the story of them. Well fuck them. Now it’s the story of us. No nasty baggage needed. Thank you.

mrsvain13
mrsvain13
8 years ago
Reply to  DeeL

thank you for that!! all of you!! so many wise words. i guess i got tired of waiting for karma to kick them in the ass. but you are right, in truth, i dont want to be around people like that. i dont want my kids around people like that and that is why she got mad. i have to remind myself that THIS is who he really is. not the person i thought he was. it really doesnt matter if he is happy now, because he is missing out on the best thing that could have happened to him. he threw away a blessing from GOD in the form of his boys. i am blessed to have that in my life. it really doesnt matter if they are doing better then me. because i would never give up my struggles for an easy life. sure, if i gave up my kids, let my parents raise them, bail on the house payments and just use my check to buy me clothes and phones, cars…. i could have what they have. but i am not like that. i can not walk away from my responsibilities any more then i could give my kids away. (not saying anything bad to the people who had no choice)

i am happy with what i got, i just get frustrated and tired of being strong. of doing the right thing when so many people can take the easy way and seem to do better. but you are right, i need to look at my life and the blessing i have. take the good with the bad and not worry about a man who can walk away from his children.

i loved that psalm. and i will be printing most of this out for a daily reminder of how lucky i really am.

thank you so much for putting it into words and bringing back from the black hole of despair. You people are super AWESOME

lobarrl
lobarrl
8 years ago

I’m all for no-contact just to not give into the triangulation and centrality that OW craves. However, I would be tempted to forward the email to hubby. I suspect that hubby doesn’t know what OW is up to and may be angry at her for sending such an email to Amazon chump.

BetrayedFriend
BetrayedFriend
8 years ago