A couple amazing things happened this past Tuesday. The first one is that this blogometer flipped to 15 million page views. Oh but that’s just views. What’s that in people? That’s 2.7 million unique visitors. Apparently a few of you stick around Chump Nation long enough to read the other pages, getting us to 15 million views. Wowza!
There are a lot of chumps out there who hunger for a narrative around infidelity that isn’t $399 affair-proof-your-marriage hopium. We’re changing that narrative, Chump Nation!
I though it fitting that the blogometer flipped on a Tuesday — which, to all familiar with the CL lexicon, is the day the pain stops. We achieve Meh! Thanks, CN. What makes this place endure is you. Your stories. The support you give the newbies. Your tales of mighty. And speaking of Meh and Mighty, yesterday I got a letter from “SuperDuperChump” telling me about his Tuesday miracle. (Okay, maybe my eyes got a little drippy reading it…) Letters like this are why I keep this blog going. Read SDC’s story and let CN know if you’ve got any Tuesday miracles to report too. Love you guys! — Tracy
Dear Chump Lady,
I reached the Land of Meh yesterday….
Three years ago, I discovered my wife’s affair with our minister. I went through the self destruction, weight losing, “Why, why, why?” phase, the “pick me dance” followed by marriage counseling for a year trying to put my broken marriage back together. I busted my rear doing everything right that the MC said I needed to do in order to not allow this to ever happen again. I accepted all the blame for “Our Affair.” I was so proud of how we rebuilt our marriage.
A year later, I had a simple cataract surgery. When we got home, I went to bed still groggy. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed.
After my surgery, my loving wife had taken me home, put me to bed, and left. The A/C unit went out in my house, and since it was 101 degrees, it didn’t take long for the house to heat up, and according to medical records, my sleeping, groggy, hot body and anesthesia collided, resulting in a seizure. Somehow, my fish flopping body butt dialed my sister 500 miles away. Since I wouldn’t say anything, she tried calling my wife, and with no response, called 911 for a welfare check. I am grateful for the young, rookie policeman for saving my life.
When I woke up, Officer Fletcher was sitting by my hospital bed and asked if I would possibly know where my wife could be. With tears in my eyes, I gave him the address. I began crying when I heard the response come back over his radio 10 minutes later.
While I was hospitalized for 3 days and the cat was out of the bag, my wife cleaned out the savings and checking accounts, leaving me penniless. During that time, I found Chump Lady and quit smoking the hopium pipe. I could only hire a cheap attorney with borrowed funds from a Payday Lender. I lost my house, work tools, and half of my retirement. Plus, my grown children refused to have anything to do with me for ruining their parent’s marriage.
Ashamed, hurt, financially broke, confused…. I moved to a new town a few hours away to try and start over. That was a year ago. The hardest part — besides starting a new job while living in a dumpy, cheap apartment — has been grieving a future that I will never have. I had so many plans and dreams for us. I basically have been going to work, sitting in the park watching happy people stroll by, and going back to my lonely apartment to get a few hours sleep. Life just isn’t fair to good, decent people.
A few months ago, I met a wonderful woman two years younger than me. She was parked next to me at Wal-Mart and her car wouldn’t start. Being an awesome mechanic, I had it running in 10 minutes. Since I refused any type of payment, she demanded my address in order to show off her cookie baking skills. I was so ashamed of where I lived when she arrived… but she didn’t care. We’ve dated since then with lots of nice, long conversations about our pasts. Turns out, she is a chump, too.
I got the news…. she had been in a car wreck. I spent the night in her hospital room looking at this poor, helpless woman who was still sedated after a long, intensive back surgery. The nurses were so kind and made sure I was comfortable too. Yesterday morning, she woke up to me feeding her breakfast spoonful by spoonful. Suddenly, it arrived… her little mouth was halfway open and she reached over and squeezed me hand….. and a calm, peacefulness blanketed me: I am a good, decent, caring man who is living a wonderful life. I am in debt, living in the ghetto, but I have decent job and will get back on my feet. My children hate me right now, but it is what it is. I have a ton of love to offer and the world is full of opportunity. I absolutely love my life and can’t wait to see what the future has planned for me.
I reached Meh yesterday….and it, was indeed, on a Tuesday.
Thank you very much for what you do,