I don’t have a specific question and the Gabby Petito murder may or may not have anything to do with infidelity but……
Have you seen the video of the police interview of her and her fiancé? The one where several white male police officers determined she was having a “mental health crisis” and gave Brian a hotel room and let her sleep in the van and worry about having to drive it alone? Because she was crying a little after he LOCKED HER OUT of her home and only ride out of the wilderness?
I’m so mad! She was having a mental health crisis? Or was she reacting to his stonewalling (at best) and gaslighting (probable)? This is the patriarchal narrative bs that allows women to get murdered by their partners, causes chumps to get blamed for cheating and causes society to look the other way and mutter in secret “who knows, she may be a lot harder to live with than anyone knows.”
Every police department in this country needs to review that video tape with a Domestic Violence expert to discuss and learn from it. Gabby was white and cute and little, so she captures the attention of the patriarchy and the part of America that chooses to not see (I’m being generous and not saying despise or hate) brown and black, big, ugly, and gender nonconforming people. Let’s start a national dialogue and prevent more tragedies like this one by educating the assholes while we’ve got their attention.
Thanks for listening,
Yes, let’s have a conversation about the Hysterical Woman. See also Bitch Be Crazy.
Why, if you thought someone was having a “mental health crisis”, would you allow them to sleep in a van and not a hotel? It sure looks like further punishment to me. Like (if you were a shitty parent) you might treat a toddler having a meltdown. You go sit in the car until you can calm down while the adults carry on….
Honestly, I can’t read too much about Gabby Petito. As I’m sure it is for a lot of women, in another life I lived a version of that nightmare. (One with a much happier ending. I’m here running a blog, with a life, and a good partner who’s not a blazing misogynist.) Two “triggers” (and I loathe that word) — being dumped on the side of a highway as the angry guy drives away. And the way Brian gets smiley with the cops. Does he look like a man in crisis?
It’s gaslighting in action. And clearly it worked. Nothing To Be Hysterical About Here. Only one of us is losing our shit! And it’s not me! We didn’t see the rage channel, but the charm channel flips right on.
Shouldn’t it strike the police as odd that this guy is weirdly chill as his girlfriend is so visibly upset?
I’ve told my DV story here elsewhere, but I remember being a hyperventilating, terrified woman. As the cops took a chatty, charming, cajoling him out of the house. And his guns. I told them to look in his car, in the wheel hub. Where they found an unregistered handgun. Which is illegal. And he was a member of the bar. And I asked that officer, “Why aren’t you writing that down? Are you going to report this?” And he said brightly:
“I think he’s in enough trouble for one day.”
Who got him in trouble? Me. By calling 911.
Who was hysterical? Who was a smiling white man?
This shit has to change.