Category: Blameshifting
I Have Cancer, But the OW ‘Suffers’
Help Chump Lady! I’ve made a complete and total eejit of myself this week……so ashamed….. One and a half years ago husband starts affair. Simultaneously …
UBT: ‘I’m Flabbergasted by the Narrative You Created’
Dear Chump Lady, I divorced my emotionally abusive narcissistic husband of 17 years. He is a religious Jew, so I don’t know if he cheated …
The Infidelity Fallacy of ‘Unmet Needs’
If I could wave my magic Chump Lady wand and rid the world of one founding principle of the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, it’s that affairs happen …
She’s Sorry Now That She Cheated
Dear Chump Lady, I have been married to my wife (possibly soon to be ex) for over 25 years. I was 23 and she was …
5 Ways to Decode a Non-Apology Apology
If you’re a chump you might have a hard time distinguishing between a real apology and a non-apology. Welcome to Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. GINR is …
Why Won’t She Admit She’s Cheating on Me?
Dear Chump Lady, Why is it impossible to get the cheater to admit to cheating? I have dozens of pictures of her and other guys …
‘What I Did to HIM?’ DARVO
Dear Chump Lady, I recently divorced FW after learning that he’d had numerous affairs, slept with hundreds of women, and taken thousands of dollars to …
Stupid Cheater Lame Excuses
Ever need something from a FW? Then you’ve probably witnessed a barrage of nonsense about why they cannot do you this one small solid. Yesterday, …
The OW Calls Herself a Feminist
Dear Chump Lady, I am 8 months post divorce from FW, we were married for 21 years. It was such a long road though, years …
She Said If I Was French I’d Accept the Cheating
Hi Chump Lady, I became friends with an older (mid 60s) French-Canadian woman who moved into my neighbourhood this summer. Over some wine recently, I …
What Dreams of Happiness Did You Crush?
Apparently, many of us stood in the way of cheater greatness. Reading all the stories here, I noticed how so many chumps just crush dreams …
Stupid Things Cheaters Say After D-Day?
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband said some of the most absurd things after I caught him cheating and I filed for divorce. You know, things …
UBT: Why HER?
Dear Chump Lady, Bullshit translator, please. My ex and I were together for almost 19 years, married for just 1 week shy of 15 years. …
Stupid Things People Say to Chumps
People say a lot of stupid, insensitive things to chumps. It’s everything from the grossly mistaken — “Gee, the affair partner doesn’t seem all that …
My Family Wants Me to Support My Cheating Brother
Hi Chump Lady, My brother is having an affair, he has denied it repeatedly for the last year, and has been gaslighting my sister-in-law by …
Schmoopie Dumped Him, He Blames the Kids
Hi Chump Lady, After three years, the wheels have fallen off the FW & Schmoopie love bus! All the “I finally found my soulmate, sorry …
UBT: I Wish You Were Still Nice
The Universal Bullshit Translator gets a lot of “It’s not what I did, it’s how you reacted” pitchforked into it. Blameshifting lays around in piles. Why …
Why Does Everyone Assume Cheating Is the Chump’s Fault?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve recently been pondering something that irks me, and would really appreciate your opinion. In various conversations with some friends over the …
UBT: ‘They are all deep connections with different colors’
Hi Chump Lady, I read your book right after D-Day, lying on the floor, to stop myself from feeling like I’m falling. At the time, …
Are You Sure It’s Not My Fault?
Dear Chump Lady, I stumbled upon your blog and subsequently your book after two D-days that unearthed three affairs over a six-year period. I’m currently …
