Cheater Freak Christmas!
I’m a little late this year, but it’s time again for our Cheater Freak Christmas Contest!
This is how the game is played. You determine what parts of your infidelity story make you Freak of the Week. I want the weird, WTF details.
For example, my husband and I know a fellow whose (now ex) wife had special wedding rings crafted for when she and her OM had trysts. That’s a contender!
The object here is to be as SUCCINCT as possible. No essays! You can comment on other people’s submissions, but each submission needs to be three brief sentences, tops.
For example, my submission would go like this.
1) He had the same mistress for over 20 years and three marriages.
2) OW and ex apparently had a kid together and she passed the paternity off on her brother-in-law.
3) After boinking his OW in Vermont, he drove home and presented me with a one-pound bag of coffee.
Cheater freak Christmases of the past have gotten a lot of submissions (which still make for some pretty awesome reading). Every day this blog is gathering new chumps and new stories. You veterans are more than welcome to submit your previous stories, (we never grow tired of BarristerBelle’s story of her ex who jumped around furiously in a sleeping bag). One caveat — GladIt’sOver cannot play! She destroys the competition every time with her dancing Yeti ex and his gifts of half-eaten box of Cream of Wheat. We’re amateurs here, Glad.
I usually end the contest by drawing 12 cartoons for the 12 Days of Christmas (some past submissions shown below). Alas, with the book galleys and everything going on, I can’t promise that this year. However, I will draw the winning submission and you get a Meh mug!
So BRING IT ON, chumps! Let the competition begin!
1) my husband left his email up and I discovered he has something called a humiliation fetish
2) he would have OW lay over toilet and pee on her
3) he had her wear a dog collar and crawl on the floor and eat dog food.
Jan 9, 2009. That was a really ‘fun’ D dAy
Wow. Is it just me or is anyone else having thoughts of a woman putting on the dog collar, crawling toward the man and biting the crap out of his ankle?
Yeah, but more like take a chomp off his balls and then run with them.
There are…..no words.
Who is going to top this? Close down the competition! NoWire, I am trying to find the positive in this, the only thing I can think of that it is SO disordered and split, you could instantly be in no doubt that this is not about you.
Chumpy co-dependent controlling him-focussed Chumps look hard to see what they could have done different/appealed to finer instincts (boy did that delusion take up years of my life). This instance? Nope. Just plaaaain deceitful on every level.
Patsy- I saw your deleted comment on my feed, relating to RIC, and how the Cheaters excuses call us out as not attractive and what not, and you mentioned that you’re no oil painting, but you see people who are less attractive and less of a good spouse and they don’t get cheated on. You ended by saying it’s not about us. You’re absolutely right. The RIC and the cheaters and often the affair partners stick this button on our lapels that say ‘you didn’t measure up’ and that’s exactly where they falter. I did. You did. I didn’t cheat, I worked hard, I talked honestly, I dug in when things were nasty to try to be the better person, and. It turns out he was looking for strange, incapable of real intimacy and I am nothing but a fake plant in his office lobby to keep people thinking he is normal. If anything, you were picked because of how good you were to help him pass as not a terrible person. I’m sorry you are still working through this. I’m sorry for all of us, really. Just wanted you to know- I think you probably clean up pretty nice, I’m certain you will find a new better world. Happy holidays
What in the actual fuck did I just read…
This is just sick. There’s kink which might be arousing, and then theres this crap. Who in their fucking right mind gets turned on by this shit? Answer is: They don’t. Only disordered people do.
True. Disordered people think they are somehow missing out on something, so they do weird kinky stuff. They think they are being wild and edgy and sexy. But it’s not. It’s not new, it’s disordered.
There is no unreading this..
HAHAHA…there’s no unreading this for sure! Honest to dog there are actually women out there that think so little of themselves that they would subject themselves to be pissed on by some married dude and crawl around on their knees and eat dog food?? Oh for fuck’s sake.
I can’t compete with that, only because he changed his f_e_t_i_s_hdotcom user ID and password before I could get past daily “public humiliation” emails featuring nude collared women being led on city streets, waiting at bus stops. I didn’t know they took the bus.
“I didn’t know they took the bus.” Bahahahahahahaha!
You know, that’s my problem with BDSM. I don’t understand how people could be in those situations and react with arousal rather than laughter.
…..or just plain disgust. Wtf?
OK, I think the competition is over after the first submission!
Thanks NoWire, now I have the song “Superfreak” by Rick James playing in my head. I really hope it doesn’t camp there all day.
That’s perfect. Rick James was accused of kidnapping a 24 year old woman and keeping her as a sex slave.
How the heck am I suppose to follow that?! 🙂
Pretty sure you are the winner, NoWire.
But you win already if you are rid of the fuckwit. UGH….too early for that!?
D Day was Jan 9. 2009 late at night . It was a Friday. I was at the lawyer’s office first thing that Monday morning. The things I read had in those emails. Truly horrific. and I was 7 months pregnant.
That’s enough internet for me today. Thanks NoWire.
Wow! you should be happy to be rid of that guy. Weirdo with a capital w. No problem with wanting him back.
Holy crap, NoWire. That’s pretty good right out of the gate!!
That was my exact thought! Wow…right outta the gate!!!
So you definitely weren’t the only one calling the OW a bitch…
Hehe!
Ha!
Ew. I don’t think I want to draw that! However you have now put the “freak” in freak week.
Ewwww. OMG. And yet again, ewww.
The bar. It is high.
Or low bar.
Ewwww, TMI. She chump, you are not considering the homosexual and misogynist issues here.
I can tell you that the misogynist issues are a big concern for me as he’s the father to my three daughters!
Y U C K!
Who ARE these people? How do you even discover you like to pee on people?
No, don’t tell me.
What I’ve never understood is how the pee-er or shitter or observer of human-dog-food-consumer finds that special someone who wants to be the receiver of pee or crap or dog food. Do they hint at it, all subtle-like? How does that conversation even go?!
Surfer
It’s the new doggie style?
I actually think they’re out looking desperate. I want to be whipped, sort of raped and sort of abused. It’s exciting. My husband is vanilla, as am I. (how boring, right?) Do you know what a butt plug is? I do – it gets your anus ready to absorb your big gorgeous dick. I think it’s a tighter source for a guy, personally, once the vagina doesn’t do it for them anymore. I once read a story on IRC a long time ago about a woman that set herself up in a motel room. Never met the guy. She blindfolded herself – he was her DOM, after all. And waited for him. He came in and handcuffed her and, my God, she was thrilled with it. She had 3 young kids. She actually showed up at my house one day and I was horrified.
I put the kids in the pool, played with the dogs and sent her on her way.
She was a total mess and my H was horrified.
I thought I could help her. ack!
I think they breach those subjects under the guise of a joke to see if they bite…or they find each other on Craigslist where they advertise for that freaky shit. I know X-hole posed a “whadayathink about the back door?” comment to OWhore…when she gave a negative response he played it off as a joke and responded “Oh I’m not like all the other guys”. Whatever fuckhead, no you’re NOT, you’re worse.
NCStevie, my ex husband was having ED issues and I suggested that he mention this to his doctor at his annual all over medical check. When he arrived home I asked him what the doctor thought and making it into a joke, he laughed and actually tickled me at the same time, he said the doctor suggested that to get the ‘spark’ back he should have sex with someone other than me because we had been together so long!! I don’t believe for a moment that the doctor suggested infidelity but I suppose it is possible. The joke was on me eventually.
Just end the competition; the Meh mug is accounted for.
For reals …whew
On Fathers Day he announced to our son the computer iscreen was frozen on a message asking for money in order to remove his access to child porn. He said, “do I have to pay it”? “I’m not sure how it got there”.
After seeking treatment for STD for a month he bragged he didn’t have one. He wasn’t aware the documentation came to the house.
Oh boy, just when you think NoWire has won hands down …. that is just sick, Donna. So sorry for you and your son.
Father of the Year award.
Gawd, your poor son! Yuck.
1: my ex husband got the kids a puppy (pedigree of course) and gave it the same name as his affair partner.
2: I inherited $60 000. He took it, paid off his debts and left 6 weeks later.
3: he just got a court order forcing me to let him take the kids over seas for a Christmas holiday….with his affair partner now girlfriend. I have still never seen her or heard her voice. (I have however read about ten thousand texts that they saved as a document of their special love so I have a pretty clear idea of her moral character and contribution to irreversibly changing my children’s childhood)
I received the maximum criminal compensation in Australia(not a huge lot & I don’t think anyone else has ever come close;due to a gang rape.) Event happened before I met Mr fabulous. When I eventually left him,having a miscarriage due to diseases I’d caught from his groupies I had $30 left in my bank account. He & his trolls had lived up large! And his last troll was horrified that my family had cleaned out our house and left them nothing” not even that cool brass bed”. They tried to move in there but the landlord there them out?
I hope you have a pit bull attorney! Inheritance isn’t supposed to divided in divorce. It’s yours.
If you “co-mingle” it in a joint account, as in directly deposit into a joint account used by you and the cheater, the moment it hits the bank, it is considered marital assets. At least in IL
In TX, any inheritance is considered not marital-property (even if in a joint account).
Thank you. Working on getting it back.
“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
aw…that was my Dad’s favorite poem. Read it, Opal and go get him. He’s despicable.
It depends on the laws in your state.
I’m not in the US so it’s different again
My ex husband lied and said he was going to a conference when he was really going to a concert with his girlfriend out of town.
It was our child’s second birthday.
She also had chicken pox at the time.
He informed me of his plans 2 hours before her birthday party.
Nine months later, she gave birth to his child.
Oh, my God. People are objects to be discarded or picked up, whatever makes his happy. So sorry, Construction.
1. Sent a letter in the mail telling me he’s been unhappy for 15 of 36 years married…ran out of the house as the post man was delivering it!
2. Said I knew he was unhappy for 15 years but said nothing when I put $30,000 dollars on the mortgage 2 years prior to that letter so he could retire early!
3. Sent a second letter that I could keep my Toyoto Corolla that I had been paying on if the damages weren’t to bad from the divorce!…….
You win. My x lied and had me help him select a nice suit and tie to wear to his “boss’s wedding”. Sad sad sad, they couldn’t offer plus 1’s even for spouses b’c of $ but REALLY DESPERATELY needed x there to help with the sound system!!!
Nope. Turns out it was a wedding x was attending with his office slut.. her brother’s wedding.
But she didn’t have his baby nine months later. Ugh. Your poor 2yr old. And poor you. What a jerk to miss your sick little child’s bday 🙁
They are such toads and fools.
Wow.
Our child had the birthday and chicken pox. Girlfriend gave the birth.
Oh he just sounds delightful, I really think you should fight to maintain that….said no chump EVER. Holy crap, fuck that asshole! Just wow!
The OW became psychotic and intent on becoming me. Changed hair, lost weight, tried to put her kids in a home. Best part – she got him and now she’s the old me. Got exactly what she deserved and I got freed.
Kim, now that could be a histerical cartoon for the second day of Christmas! The whore twinning. How very sick. Freaks
Heh. Final OW has turned into old me as well. Poor thing. I’m new/pre-ex me and life is so much better.
?
that is what I aspire to be! my old self
The OW did the same here. After my 8 yo son went to visit them for the first time after the ex and OW moved in together, he said the OW now had red hair and had lost weight. I am a red head, size 2/small/whatever. I was speechless. What is the thought process there? Did she really want my life?
Holy “Alex Forrest,” Batman!
No bunnies were harmed though, right?…
I told him I couldn’t raise our special needs child alone. What will happen to her when we’re gone?
He replied: “The government can look after her. This is what I need” (referring to the OW).
Fuck. Him.
Seconded!
Should I mention that X and OW are both school teachers?
I’m a teacher, and we have a special needs daughter. He does nothing for her, didn’t while we were married, and damn sure doesn’t now.
Suddenly glad I’m not so chummy with other teachers at the school I teach at…I don’t even want to find out if any of them are like this.
What a soulless bastard!
Holy shitballs Batman!
Holy Crow! My ex and ow are both school teachers too.
My daughter’s married 1st grade teacher ran off with the married soccer coach.
One of STBX’s online hookups was a married 2nd grade teacher whose youngest kid was going into kindergarten. She was into ben-wa balls and nipple clamps. Wtfever.
Previous DDay X hooked up with a teacher he met at the gym. I sincerely felt bad for her. She dumped him once I filled her in. The damage a sociopath touches each and every person they come in contact with. I pity any decent person X cons once the whore tires of supporting the “good guy”. Yet at this point he is circling back to use his children for supply. Fir their sake I would rather have him step in front of a bus, a fast moving karma bus.
That is so COLD. Evil. We have two special needs kids. I cant even imagine…wow. You are a warrior. Your child is probably better off without such a cold and callous ” parent” around. Imagine that…they are both teachers?! Sickening. You are a champion though.
Words and actions people
My stbxh said he loves the cats, i once saw him kick the cat some distance into a fence and another time carry by the scruff and drop kick it out of the front door.
He said he wasn’t seeing anyone during MC. someone’s baby is due 9 months later.
He cried when he was not allowed in his brother’s girlfriend’s delivery room. He later denied crying or being upset. While she was pregnant he offered to take her to her obgyn appts and to be her lamaze coach. I was also pregnant but after the first few appts he refused to accompany me. We were sharing a car. He would insist I ask my dad to take me! But he kept offering to take HER! I asked him to be MY lamaze coach but he said “I dont wannt do that shit. Why dont you ask your sister?
To this day he insists that nothing was going on between them. But why was he so emotional about being in her delivery room? Am I crazy for thinking there is somethin WEIRD about a brother in law being in the delivery rm?
When his bro was going out of town for a few days my husband packed a suitcase, telling me he was gonna stay with HER while his bro was out of town because she didnt want to be alone. I offered to let her stay with us or come along too. He said No, she doesnt want that. I asked if his bro knew about their “sleepover” but he wouldnt answer me. So I said ” Ill ask him.” He got in my face and said ” Dont You Dare! I swear..if you do that then were done.” So i told him if he spends one night with her, dont bother coming home.” he stayed. Sorry so long.
I could go on and on…he would pick random fights with me then leave ” to cool off”…probably to hang with her. He shared a dessert with her, sharing the same spoon while they stared in each others eyes (at a family christmas party). When i complained he told me i was insecure….they were always giving each other sidelong glances and trying not to smile. They would be off in a corner away from the rest of the family…talking. I knew something was going on but he denied it and told me i needed a psychiatrist and would not discuss it….
One of they very first things that make me uneasy was when X offered OW some food from his plate. We very rarely socialized with her and didn’t eat together more than a couple of times, but that offer set off the warning bells. Of course, my concerns were brushed aside indignantly. I later found out their affair started within days of that meal. The act of sharing food is very intimate and my suspicions were right on the money. Like many here, I was bullied inti distrusting my gut. Never again!
Yes I agree sharing food from the same plate (and utensil!) is very intimate! In my case, he shared a dessert with his sister in law…same spoon and everything. Minutes earlier I had offered him my dessert…because it had rum in it ( i hate rum) but he said no thanks and threw it in the sink. She then decided she could not finish her dessert by herself so he decided to “help” her. They looked like two ppl in love sharing that dessert. Gag. Barf
I kinda knew it when they sat at the end of the table, completely ignoring everyone else at our daughter (her neice)’s 13th birthday party….
Mr Fab has 2 bros, the Downgrade has fucked all of them. The Dad made several passes at me over the years. Between them, they have lived with/married and cheated on 12 women in 20 years.
My mother who is currently 75, once overheard X-holes father (at a family get together) say that when he was younger he “had gotten more ass than a public toilet seat”. Such a great role model and “Christian”. He has three sons, all cheaters….big shocker. Vile people.
OMG NCStevie!!! That made me shudder! satan is a traveling salesman (cliche much asshole?!)…I’m sure he could relate to your fil!!!! EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!
Now all I can see is these poor 12 ladies like they are disciples at the last supper and these three men are… I dunno, watching you all? Swapping Scores and report cards? Creepy.
I have no idea whether it ever got physical, but snake’s brother is a serial cheater and in hindsight, probably also a narc. His brother’s wife would call snake and cry for hours about the way she was treated…. And he listened and listened and consoled and listened….
We didn’t live nearby, so they wouldn’t have had the opportunity for a PA much, but I always thought it was very odd.
After a while, his tone toward her changed to “hey, get out if you can’t forgive him and let it go, the past is the past”…
Maybe he was planning to dump me for his brother’s sloppy seconds…. who knows? Maybe he is…
Yep. He’s been fucking her. In fact, I’d be willing to bet 10 grand that he was.
Fucking sick shit. What is it – the family which bonks together sticks together, or something?
Yeah, it even sounds like it might have been his baby. I mean, he cried?
If you can stand to hear more of this story…sorry to be so long winded. It is such a relief to talk about it! His bro had to leave the delivery rm because he felt sick or light headed. My husband thought she would ask for HIM (because he had been a corpsman in the navy. Sure. Whatever) but she asked for her best girlfriend instead. He was crushed. Her best friend got to witness the birth. Not him. How tragic. Let me play the violin now.
That was my other thought, too. Fucking gross.
yes, weird. Sounds to me that your X might have been involved with the GF.
Anyone who would drop kick an innocent animal should be housed with the criminally insane. (Lets see him try drop kicking Bubba and see what happens !)
@Yo
I agree. Anyone who drop kicks and innocent animal should be doused in gasoline and set on fire. I have a zero tolerance policy for violence, especially violence against animals. Had I witnessed that, I would have lodged a knife in his throat. What a piece of garbage and to stand by and do nothing! What a disgrace.
vegan – sounds like you have a huge tolerance for violence given your response…knife in the throat? do “peaceful” people not hear themselves?
I got nervous with dousing with gasoline.
Hello vegan chump, for the record I did not stand by and do nothing. But when the man walked to the front door with the cat, I was not expecting him to do that. This is the difference with words and actions. He says he loves animals, and he’s vegetarian, and he meditates everyday and he’s morally superior blah blah blah, you don’t expect him to be cruel to a cat. But there you go, I could only do something after it had taken place.
It’s an interesting part of the story to look back on, a red flag, he said he loved the cats, have them sit on his lap and pet them, then occasionally be cruel. Seemingly out of character, you question yourself, maybe they haven’t owned pets, maybe explain about delicate bones and internal organs. But in time you understand that it’s part of their personality, occasionally cruel.
I gotta an action: One time cheater dropped our daughter off and walked her up to the door in the pouring rain. His hood was up and the umbrella over himself while the run off from the umbrella fell on my daughter’s head. I have a photo to prove it! Now that’s a cartoon!
Exhibit A, Your Honor.
Appalling, but a fantastic mental image.
Horrible man
Some people should not be parents…how gross
You have no idea. Total Narc to the core.
1)Ex wanted anal sex, I said no so he took up spending time in adult shops in the city’s gay district, I saw this as adultery. This resulted in my owning that my views were too black and white and that I was not submissive enough as a Christian wife. He stated it would never happen again case closed! And yes I remained in submissive in that regard.
2) 11 years later, Ex confesses having a male affair partner and for 8 yrs intermittently indulging in oral sex with random men in public toilets since affair. Many men!
3) The religious twats who tried to bully me into staying with Ex after D’day, stand by his claim that he has been delivered of his unclean sexual spirit and have spent the last 12 month helping him to groom his new beard, I mean fiancé.
I am so sorry that religious people tried to bully you into staying in a situation that was bad for your physical and emotional well being. When I was going through it, I read “Love Must Be Tough” by Dr. James Dobson. He recounted a story where a betrayed wife thought the good Lord would spare her the pain of further infidelity or divorce as long as she was submissive to her husband. She ended up in a threesome with her wayward husband and the other woman.
Dr. Dobson’s point is that being “nicer” and “submissive” to get someone to be respectful and stop having affairs doesn’t work. He suggested being tough and setting boundaries, only allowing someone to stay married to you if they are genuinely repentant and stop sinning. Dr. Dobson is a conservative Christian. After divorcing, I went to a class my church held on biblical boundaries using the book Boundaries written by Cloud and Townsend. Nobody has to be a doormat. It is okay to stand up for yourself and not look the other way when hurt by sin. Not everyone who believes in Christ has their head up their butt as those bullies did.
P.S. I feel kind of sorry for the new “beard” Good luck for everything she’s going to be getting into.
Yes, they just stay in the closet, find another ‘beard’. Sad.
That doesn’t help anyone. She’s doomed and he is awful. And both will be trapped by terrible religious garbage.
“indulging in oral sex with random men in public toilets” eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww….
No graphic representation of this please.
1. toward the end of an over 12 month in house, legal separation, my x was court ordered out of the master bedroom where he had been sleeping (I had relocated to the guest room in a double bed, he’s 6’5, I’m an even 5′)
2. ex always slept in is designer underwear and his newly manscaped chest (he was a hairy beast)
3. the night he was ordered out of the bedroom, he came into the master, in his tightie whities at midnight and ceremoniously whipped all the covers off of me while I was sleeping and stalked out of the room with my duvet cover trailing behind him and shouted at me “If you don’t like it, sue me”. My response was “I just did”
He did all sorts of crazy, but usually held his “ice cold exterior together, that night I knew I had gotten under his skin” it was the only comedic moment of my divorce, the rest was run of the mill tragic.
That deserves a cartoon alone!
lol . . . “I just did.” Ha ha
Interestingly enough, it just occurred to me yesterday that today (18 December in the Philippines) is the day he left. Freakboy’s “list of belongings” that he demanded I return to him, after I had already spent thousands shipping his crap back home, will always make me laugh. Since I’m only allowed 3:
1. His collection of about 17 airline liquor bottles (the small, one-shot wonders).
2. Eight 12″x12″ black rubber floor tiles.
3. Three egg poaching cups.
… and a partridge in a pear tree… lol
Rubber floor tiles? What a thoughtful guy – I’m sure he just wanted them to make Schmoopie’s knees more comfortable when she was down on them.
Ha! He didn’t even get to keep his Schmoopie though because she is a sex worker here and he’s… well, not here.
Love the “and a partridge in a pear tree” ending! Thank you.
Shortly after I moved out, I got an enraged text message from ex complaining about my taking the set of cheap steak knives we got as a free gift for subscribing to the newspaper, along with the AA batteries. This from the guy who got to keep the whole HOUSE.
Glad you took the batteries. I took the batteries too…for my new battery operated boyfriend. You want to hear something messed up. We were still technically living together during the divorce, though I spent much time getting away from the house. He got mad that I hadn’t cleaned out my stuff in the refrigerator, so he contacted his attorney asking if it was okay to get rid of the old food. My attorney printed out a copy of his attorney’s email and mailed it to me. It said “I can’t believe I’m even writing this email but my client asked if it would be okay to throw out food in the refrigerator.” My friends and I had a good laugh over that. It’s like, no you can’t get rid of old food darnit! You’re ruining my science experiment!
I got the house, will close on the refi on Tuesday evening. It’s a great story. However, dip shit left in May with a suitcase, like he was going on a business trip. I packed all his crap into garbage bags and wept (CN supported me that day).He came two weeks later and got his trash bags of personal belonging.One month later he came back with movers and had them pack some stuff, took some that was mine, pissed me off. He had so much stuff they had to schedule another day. For his third trip, I went through house and put his crap in piles, in each room. Took two days off work so it wouldn’t upset my kids. The best thing, was I boxed up 10 years of piles and piles of magazines, even put a broken air conditioner in the pile that he insisted on saving old computers, college text books you name it, it’s gone…I had to hire a lawyer that day to make sure he didn’t abscond with anything else. The lawyer’s comments to me as my x walked out the door “Too bad he (x) couldn’t be a stand up guy”. The lawyer was gobsmacked by the behavior….
Ha Ha You made me laugh?…mine tried to sue me for contempt of court if I did not return kitchen spatulas.???
omfg
GIO, I think this is why you’re technically disqualified from playing. Free knives with a subscription?! I don’t to think why he needed AAs so desperately.
Good God these people are SUCH fucking assholes. This is THE best therapy ever. Every day I read through the comments and every day I read comment after comment that just reaffirms how horrible these disordered fucktards are.
What a piece of miserable shit he is. Sometimes the only piece of mind I have is just being thankful I’m not one of them, I prefer to be the chump in this equation.
yup!
I love the floor tiles. It’s so absurd.
Mine broke in the house and took the VCR.
He really showed me.
bizarre-so did mine!
Hopefully, you kept the rewinding machine 😉
Mine hijacked the vacuum cleaner, and one knife out of my Henkel set. :/
OnTheHill, Okay… now THAT would piss me off! The best thing that came out of my marriage other than our kids are the Henkel knives and the Miele canister vacuum!
LOL mine asked me in a whiny baby voice if he could pwetty pwease take this favowite bwanie with him when I threw him out! and some really expensive hotel quality towels he had chosen for us, (“nothing but the best for US!”). I walked over and shoved him up against the wall and just said, “take them, you JERK!”
I used his leaving as a way to clean the house of all the shit that he accumulated and didn´t want to get rid of: moldy books, tons of wires from electrical connections, an answering machine, hundreds of cassettes, old phones, broken rice cooker, I could go on and on…trash left with Trash..
I packed every piece of crap in the house I didn’t want and boxed it. I can just imagine his face after he went through the boxes and found mismatched dishes, old towels, broken spatula, and shower hooks. He got his clothes and debt.
“bwankie”
This is gold.
Saved you a trip to the Goodwill!
Lol. Hahahaha. They need an eight track player and a 3 1/2″ floppy disk to go with it. Then they can have their very own museum of outdated technology.
1. On D day discovered cheater had boinked a girl from adult friend finder in the bed of his truck….. That we had purchased together.
2. When baby was 3 months old, discovered cheater “helping” another woman by getting beers, taking her to concerts, and all day hikes outside of town
3. When baby was 3 months old, discovered Craigslist ad for men seeking men and 100 email exchanges with transsexuals while he was “praying about our marriage” in a hotel. His conclusion after week in hotel praying “Im not confused about our marriage anymore. I just really need a motorcycle and a tattoo.”
I think I could do a whole post on cheaters who “pray” at hotels. There sure is a lot of Bible study going on out there!
Ummm yeah, when I blasted X-hole about hanging on the phone for (literally) hours with married/cheating Owhore I was told “we are doing Bible Study together”. He was serious, delusional but serious. My response? “You and the cheating whore should read Proverbs, there’s a ton of good scriptures about adultery, educate yourselves.”
In one of her rants the ho told me she was a Christian woman. What?
I’m sure the Gideons would be so proud.
Ha!
Lol! You took the words out of my mouth. It’s all THEIR fault.
Yes. Excellent spiritual revelations and development there!
1) (Now) Ex-wife gets Chinese take out with her mom greeting me at our home. After an awkward dinner together, we divide up our stuff.
2) (Now) Ex-wife re-launches her private counseling practice as a therapist who fosters authenticity and helps couples with trust issues…while still lying, denying, and gas-lighting me about her adultery.
3) Trained and licensed therapist (now) ex-wife told me that her (adulterous) relationship had nothing to do with our marriage problems with a straight face when confronted.
My mil and the mow are therapists/social workers. One marital, one brain injury. I will now only see professionals with MDs, I deserve better than the crazies with a bachelor’s. (Not demeaning BAs, I haven’t completed my masters and prob won’t).
My asshole has an MD PhD and a high position at the university. The OWhore is a licensed Psy who told my asshole ex that children of divorce really don’t suffer and that it would be no big deal.
Chumplisa
Don’t you just love it when they quote the other cheater. Oh, yeah you just fucked her last week and she decided you can’t ever speak to tne person you’ve been with since you were 16, have three adult chikdren and a granddaughter with.
And they abandon their children in a heartbeat. No it’s all on them. Quoting the ither woman is blame shifting. Can they ever take responsibility fir anything?
I think it would be like hating all gymnasts if that’s what the ow was. It doesn’t mean all gymnasts are assholes. I just now hate all community college certified social workers.
Morality isn’t dictated by intelligence.
Life experiences and sky-high boundaries are what dictates morality – one of the wisest people I ever knew was practically homeless at one point – while the many fuckwits I have encountered lived a cushy life with ‘achievements’ as kibble-grabbers.
OW was a physician who just ‘knew’ fucktard had been snipped (she could tell by his smirk?), then panicked when she found out otherwise after their initial no protection fuckfest (Yay Plan B; yay Time Machine on Mac – very easy to find email). She then got an IUD (lower failure rate than tubes tied) and later claimed he got her pregnant (with the IUD in). MD’s are just as fucked up as anyone else.
OW was a licensed social worker, who advertises that she is a parenting coordinator. Her X had to petition the court for the appointment of a parenting coordinator because OW was refusing to follow court ordered visitation schedule and trying to convince her son that he shouldn’t want to see his dad.
Mine has a Masters….cheaters can be educated, too (and still morally bankrupt)
Mine has a Ph.D. and a Distinguished Named Chair in his Department, but has been on Ashley Madison, Adult Friend Finders, Craigslist, has been caught screwing graduate and undergraduate students, and has to clear his computer of porn every time he takes it for repair.
Intelligence and education are clearly not indicative of morality.
“Intelligence and education are clearly not indicative of morality.”
nor wisdom.
I have met wiser garbage truck drivers….
True guys. Cheaters are in all intellectual, social , economic, religious, etc spheres. They are priests, teachers, presidents, salesmen, truck drivers, policemen, lawyers, rabbis, monks, unemployed, self-employed, teetotalers, alcoholics. They just display poor lack of impulse control, and overwhelming sense of entitlement coupled with some very delusional views about themselves.
Told my colleague about a fellow attorney who propositioned me.
Swear to God this cult of self is the undoing of us all….stbx mother opened my eyes to it…this right to be happy at all costs;even if it means unhappiness for all around you.
Mine had a PhD and is an AGU fellow a pretty big deal as Divorcedat25 will tell you. Doesn’t matter. You can be smart and still be disordered.
Yep, being an AGU fellow us a pretty big deal. But I’ve already met some sketchy “big deals”. I was taking a summer class last summer where some of the biggest deals came dancing with graduate students after hours and were being quite seedy.
Agreed.
Oh we need a new category.
The shit they insisted on having…….
1) the rusted out old coal fire BBQ
2) the torn climb chair given to him by the EAP he had the year our first child was born.
3) the hard drive from out only computer, no surprises there.
Mine wanted our wedding album and family videos, probably to replace me with a photoshopped Skanky in my place. He’s repeating everything else we did as a couple, including our family events and trips.
My ex didn’t ask for the wedding photos but I notice that he is repeating all of the things we did as a couple with the OW. I expect to wake up one day to a text from him asking me to go through all of the boxes of photos and send his to him.
The Direct TV boxes – too late, I ran them over with the car
The TV from our bedroom – Nope, I’M the one who paid for that.
His Green Bay Packers sweatshirt – Sorry, that went to the homeless shelter.
My exh left almost everything of his at my house for me to contend with because he bought “all new.” He is a fire fighter (no offense to other fire fighters) and he fancies himself to be quite the catch. A few years ago, he quit the fire department in our small rural town yo go work for a large Fire department in Kansas City. He used to swan about town on his days off in his big city fire department shirts thinking he was impressing everyone. When he left, he left a ton of his big city fire department shirts (among other things). He refused to come get his things, so the kids and I packed them all up and donated then to the homeless shelter in our small town. Now, homeless people can be seen walking the streets wearing his prized fire department shirts. He doesn’t seem like such a big noise wearing them now!
My X loved direct TV. He canceled the premium channels when he left. Then after the greed kicked in, but thankfully after the D was finalized, he wrote to my attorney asking to be reimbursed for the damn thing while he was off living with his whore. She provided him a list of shit he didn’t pay for and told him he OWED me $. Shut him the fuck up fast.
Ex rummaged around in the garage for 3 hours back in February when he came to finally collect his stuff. 17 large boxes of shit + what he considered his. He made a pile of stuff on the floor to ‘discuss’ which included a tapperware jug and cups I earned as a demonstrator and a video trivial pursuits game I bought myself for Christmas one year that he refused to play with me.
I can laugh about it now.
Yes…’The shit they insist on having” items:
Listed in our official Settlement Agreement, Ex demanded:
1. The panini maker (we’re not talking an industrial sandwich press, just a $40 gadget)
2. Sports Christmas ornaments – cheap shit, not collectable names like Waterford or Lennox. (He married his whore, and she’s Jewish, not sure how well received those treasures are).
3. The “Fiesta-ware” dinner dishes that were about 15 years old.
He moved straight from our house in with OW. He’s a pack rat – he must have looked like Steve Martin in the Jerk gathering his shit: “All I need is this panini-maker, and these sports ornaments…and that’s all I need. And I need this, the panini-maker, these sports ornaments, and these Fiestaware dishes…and that’s all I need too!”
Love it!!!
… and his remote control. I love it!
my ex asked for our digital camera. The mediator said it was his ‘fuck you’ item to me. I laughed and said he could have it because he’s not techie at all and won’t know how to use it. Oh, he can take pictures, but he has no clue how to load them to his computer. And btw, he only has a work computer so he can’t load them on it. Eventually the card will be full and he’ll be clueless.
Ha our “fuck you” item – a $10 iphone charger that he demanded back in an email yesterday. When he already has about 15 of them.
He’s not fucking getting it…on principle.
Out “fuck you ” item was a professional air compressor in the garage….IT’S MINE! I smile every time I pull in, and I enjoy putting air in my car tires, bike tires, etc….
X also insisted that I send him the subwoofer from the car. It was already 10 years old and took up 1/2 the back space of the CRV. Actually I wish I had sent it back COD since it is now just a liability in a car I have to get rid of.
Mine was the mod triptych painted by my daughter’s art teacher, that X refused to pay more than $200 for, and I spent 1/4 on my summer salary to keep them. He wanted them when he moved out and I said no, then promptly hung them in the most prominent room in the house.
He’s already clueless.
That should say ‘club chair’
1. OW is old ex girlfriend. They got together when she was H’s best friends girlfriend. Best friend never spoke to him again. She cheated on H twice when together, married someone else, cheated on her husband and is now alone and miserable.
2. She lives in another country and currently their fantasy relationship involves mucho sexting and making shit up about their lives to look good.
3. F^^*@r actually bitched to me about not helping him when he was booking flight out to visit her and make their fantasies a reality.
He still won’t admit to doing anything and cries about how there’s something going on between us and he doesn’t know what it is. I have copies of his texts and sexting pics on a thumb drive at work even though I live in a no fault state. Never know when I may need the leverage.
Working on an exit. B#@*&d never acknowledged me on my birthday ever since I gave birth to his children. It’s amazing what it will take to make you see the light.
What is it with this changing once you give birth? THAT is the exact moment I ceased to be a human being, and became ‘mother/housekeeper’ instead. I went along with it
Happened to another friend too (enablers ex wife). I think it’s when they have competition for attention. That and maybe having kids makes them suddenly realize they are supposed to be grow ups and they just can’t go there.
^ Bingo. It’s absolutely about competition for attention. My narc freely admitted that everything changed when our kids were born and that he felt like he got no attention any more.
Never mind that he was sex chatting online three years before the eldest was even BORN.
I guess a narc would tell you to be thankful that it took that long…. Some of us lose merit before we have kids. But yknow, we are half liked until we are basically too old to have that option anymore
Ditto
Me three.
Oh and caught texts between him and enabler friend (where he’s stashing the gifts he’s bought the Ho and her brood, money he didn’t spend on our kids, but hey got to look like a hero and saviour), he’s panicking now that there is some way I can stop him leaving the country and he’ll get to the airport and they’ll throw him out. Searching furiously for this information dumb f^&k.
Only concern is that I’ll prevent him from getting his kibbles.
We are here for you. I’m waiting too. Sometimes it’s right to keep it low and be ready. Beeeeeee ready. Stay safe
1) Husband told me that on multiple trips to our nation’s capitol, he was briefing top brass at the Department of Defense (given his line of work this is believable), but instead he was “debriefing” a 20-something program officer who liked taking hallucinogens with him, and naked selfies in the bathtub.
2) After being discovered as a serial cheater for 16 years with multiple women all over the world, he said that if I revealed his misdeeds to any mutual friends he would tell them (and our two teenagers) that I didn’t give him enough blowjobs (!)
3) D-day was 2.5 months ago. Since then, his most recent AP and the professed love of his life has dumped him, and he has found a new girlfriend, a former grad student who lives in Latin America. They leave next week to spend Christmas and New Year’s traveling around Europe.
You didn’t give enough blowjobs – so what? Maybe if his dick was properly cleaned or wasn’t sticking it into other people, you might have considered it, in his case, HELL NO?
Yell your story from the rooftops. When he pulls that pathetic one-liner it will just make him look like the crazy you have already pointed out.
Honestly, you have to be pretty awesome if that’s all the dirt he could come up with.
What a loser he is.
He actually told your teenagers that?! OMG
(no, just a threat, I doubt he would actually do that; he does love his kids a lot)
Ha! Mine demanded a confidentiality clause in our mediation agreement. Hells no! I agreed not to mention it on social media for the sake of the children. In person however…..let me play you the audio!
Si, I hope you sing like a bird.
YES! Sing like a bird. His secrets are not yours to keep.
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” –Anne Lamott
One of my favorite quotes Sionara!! “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
X-hole called my sharing “slander”, as we’ve said many times here in the comments “it’s not slander if it’s true!”
Amen, that’s a damn true statement!!!!!
When you sing like a bird, maybe sing to http://www.dodig.mil/hotline/ . Hallucinogen-fueled nookie parties are hazardous to one’s security clearance.
Oh BURN. I like it.
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” –Anne Lamott
And that is why I blog.
Love this quote!
Great quote!!
Si,
So not giving enough BJ’s is shameful to your teenagers and mutual friends how?
You can let people know about his despicable behaviour in discrete versus graphic language and be ladylike.
And laughingly joke that he was fixated on having anything or anybody “blow him”
This is no contender, and some of the above gave me the vapours, (lol) but the mow drove 3 hours to my mil’s birthday party/narc-o-rama to present her with 65 little rolled scolls about why mil was great. Of course one was that she’d given birth to wh. Of course mil totally agreed. And didn’t see the irony that the mow had driven hours and left 4 kids behind right around the holidays to tell my mil what a great mother and woman she was. She did not have a scroll that said she was fucking my h, seated at a different table, but I think it was implied. Other guests at the party were appropriately creeped out, since the relationship was a business one. I can’t think of a boss I’d blow off my kids for to write tiny messages on little scrolls then drive thru snow to hand deliver, and I’ve had some awesome bosses. Needless to say, when the shit hit, guess who mil was cheering for?
I’m working on limericks now. Can that be a st Patrick contest? I’m salty.
65 ways MIL was great?
That’s impressive.
I’d be hard pressed to find 5 about mine.
LMAO, I could probably come up with about five as well. Especially if I were to repeat myself four times.
MILs! The biggest red flag we ignored IMO. I now tell young people: look at the family. It doesn’t matter how much you love them, if his mother is weird, RUN. Her ways are what you will be dealing with when the love shine wears off.
The first thing STBX ever said to me as I walked into his house was: you need to watch out for my mother. She can be a bit strange.
That he would not resort to her coping skills once inevitable stresses came into marriage was my biggest delusion, and on me I am afraid.
Gosh this is true, STBX told me how abusive his parents were, but it was their abusive coping skills he relied upon when shit got real.
I could not agree more with you, Patsy. I think we need to do a Red Flag book for unsuspecting, about to marry disordered nuts.
My mom had picked up on XMIL’s crazy within a minute of meeting her. XMIL is a total whack-job. I ignored my mother and spackled away. I did the pick-me dance so that XMIL would accept me. She never did, in fact she treated me like shit. Now she has a new DIL (OW) that is an amoral, skank.
Golden child was happy to blame XMIL for being an “impediment in our marriage”. Of course, he never confessed to an affair as being the reason for him divorcing me.
Poor XMIL, now she has a real problem married to her son and she has to keep her mouth shut. Karma….
“Especially if I were to repeat myself 4 times.”
That’s hysterical ChumpyElf!! Love it. Same here, I’d HAVE to repeat myself, couldn’t fabricate that much bullshit in one setting to talk up X-hole’s mum. My sister calls her Cruella DeVille lmao.
None. I can come up with absolutely not a single one. It’s why she surrounds herself with white trash a few levels below her – she looks like the fucking duchess of Deutschland compared to their pathetic selves. It’s sad. I finished college before she did, so that’s always been a bee in her bonnet. I was 20, she was 40. It’s like a high school rival – my mil. She can’t have people around her who she perceives as superior. Effed up shit. And I’m an asshole too – I bred with this family, yet I judge. Lol.
I should say that the ONE way MIL is great is that she often forgets I (and our child) exist 😉
ChumpyElf: mine too. But posts on FB how sorry she wasn’t there for my kids like she up is for her NEW grand kids. Oh well…out with the old and in with the new!
65 little scrolls sounds like a good tag line for the 12 days of Christmas!
And I wonder why 65? That’s a lot of work! I’m picturing him writing them and rolling them all up!
Little scroll rhymes with little troll. Which rhymes with wet hole.
Feel free to write your limerick any time, nic.
Wow. Scrolls. Just W.T.F. Were you there for this?
Yup every spidey sense tingled. It was a real study in “how narcissistic can I get??” Photo booth, country club, speeches, slide show, super long guest list, special menu. These people are hillbillies, not this scene at all, this was a real show of ” how we want to be perceived”. Most folks knew to back out of the room so they could see where the knife and demeaning would come from.
I think the limericks come out at Valentines Day…I cant wait !! Im guessing it was the MILs 65th bday party hence the 65 scrolls. That is SO icky. OW gave my nowdeadhusband a gift for his retirement and he hid it in his car. I found it and he rounded the corner to find me, his mom and his sister (all MY homegirls) staring into the bag. I hope his internal reaction felt like his rectum was falling out.
The disordered whore approached me and after calling ME a slut and a whore said she had a hairdresser she could recommend for my grey roots starting to show.