FW of the Week
I read a lot of fuckwit stories on this blog. I could chart the last 11 years of my life in fuckwits. In fact, you could probably line them up like dominoes, and they would circle the world twice. (And then you could tip them over. Wouldn’t that be fun?)
Do you have a favorite FW, Tracy?
There are so many, Narrative Device Friend!
David Brooks, Esther Perel, the cheater who robbed his children’s piggy bank and took his Schmoopie to Disney World instead of them.
How could I possibly choose? The world is awash in fuckwits and I can only showcase so many. Which is why I need your help!
Today’s Friday Challenge is to submit your Fuckwit of the Week. Did your cheating ex do something cringey? Is there some public figure you’d like to see pilloried for fuckwittedness? Some really bad infidelity advice? Nominate them for Fuckwit of the Week!
Not just today, but on the Tell Me How You’re Mighty podcast too! Sarah and I are adding a special segment at the end of each episode that will feature the winning fuckwit!
You know what this segment needs, Tracy?
No, what Narrative Device Friend?
A MONSTER TRUCK VOICE OVER. For fuckwits!
Your wish is my command! Did you know that on Fiverr you can hire a voice actor who will do a MONSTER TRUCK promo for you? You can. And I did.
Introducing…. FUCKWIT OF THE WEEK!
You’re having too much fun with this podcast thing, Tracy.
I know. It doesn’t stop there — we also have a NEW WEBSITE where all things podcast lives — www.tellmehowyouremighty.com. You can subscribe, review, read extra content in the show notes.
That’s nice. But let’s get back to fuckwits.
Okay. Who is your FW of the Week, CN?
Tell me in the comments — and/or leave me a 90-second voice message here. WILL YOUR FUCKWIT WEAR THE CROWN?
My fuckwit drove a truck around for scrap metal, and then used to drive around all night in our car while I slept. I cleaned our car out on a Thursday – full vacuum and everything. THE NEXT DAY I found cigarette ash over the centre console and a red lipstick-stained cigarette butt in the ashtray. I asked him who was in our car smoking cigarettes? He said no-one – so I pulled out the butt from the rubbish. He backpedaled and said it was someone he gave a lift to when he was at work. When I pointed out he drove a truck for work and not the car, not to mention that he worked during daylight hours, he insisted that I was mistaken and could not possibly have found this butt in the car.
Yes. I must have planted it there. Or imagined the whole thing.
He then used this as a reason to be incandescent with rage/indignant by my suspicions, so he didn’t bother to try and hide the fact he was roaming all night from that point.
This sounds exactly like the psycho/alcoholic I’m going to divorce.
💯💯💯
Not my FW ( he and his Tru Lurv ran off into the sunset over a decade ago ), but a client’s FW husband who happened to stumble into my inner circle of peace -which I tend to keep FW free.
I have a neighbour who I quite like. She tells me her husband thinks I don’t like him. So, I try to be friendly because I am a people pleaser ( palm to forehead). I have purchased a lovely ( new to me ) 4 door Jeep named Betty White. He starts texting me about my Jeep because he is just thinking he might get one too!
I am uncomfortable but it seems harmless. Then he sells his truck and voila – a very new fully loaded Jeep in his driveway. He is now coming over at inconvenient times and wanting us to be Jeep buddies. He sends a text at 4 am wondering what I am doing ?!?!
I block him. I hide in my house if he comes out. He seems to take the hint.
Wife friend comes for a haircut. She is distraught. He traded in his motorcycle for something they cannot afford. She thinks he’s going to trade her in for something newer too!
I tell her about the Jeep thing. I think I have lost a good neighbour, friend and client.
I can see FW from my kitchen window washing his Jeep.😡
Not your fault, of course. I wonder how quickly she could sell that Jeep on Carvana or something like that out from under him. You did the right thing to tell her though because you’re probably not the only person he’s hitting on – or HAS hit on. This guy has a history to be that bold – 4 am!
Lucky, “jeep buddies”! Is that what the young people call it now? What a frakkin FW idiot.
I think you’re a wonderful soul for trying to warn the FW neighbor’s wife. But the risks are so great in doing this (forget about “women scorned”– hell hath no fury like a FW outed) that I lean to the option of anonymous email warnings from dummy accounts pretending to be an “old friend” who’s too cowardly to name themselves. That way the seed of warning is still planted and, bonus, the messenger doesn’t have to get shot in the bargain.
“I lean to the option of anonymous email warnings from dummy accounts pretending to be an “old friend” who’s too cowardly to name themselves.”
Yeah, I did the dummy email warning to AP’s husband. He stayed with her anyway, but at least he was made aware that his health was endangered, since I informed him she was not using condoms with her extramarital partners. I did hear through the grapevine that she was looking miserable shortly thereafter, so I assume he believed me. I can only hope he has protected himself from STDs ever since.
I agree that being anonymous is the best way to go about it in most situations.
You did the right thing Lucky. No matter how it plays out. She made need you sometime in the not too distant future when she’s able to look at her reality. It took me a very, very long time.
Just keep rocking your mighty life and staying out of his orbit. 💪
Your neighbor will sweep what you said under the rug (really stupid) and may avoid you. However, her husband has checked out of the marriage, is dead set on finding someone else and sooner or later some twit will respond to his advances. So your neighbor will have no other option than to deal with his discard and maybe she’ll appreciate that you gave her a head’s up. Maybe.
KB22 , maybe – just maybe – the neighbor is getting her ducks in a row before filing. I hope so. Before she gets an STD generously passed along by one of her FW’s “jeep buddies.”
I think you were right to tell her. This is painful stuff, but if just one person had given me some valuable info, I could have made a couple huge different decisions, instead of making decision based on what I thought was an intact marriage.
YES! It stinks that you may have lost a friend/client because of the “kill the messenger” theory. But she suspects, and you may have helped shed some light. She is in a better position to protect herself now than she would be if she was in the dark.
Mine was pressuring me to quit my job and find a new one, even if it was less money. I’ve had it for a long time, and it is stable, but it can be stressful. What you said about “making decisions on what you thought was an intact marriage” hits home for me. I didn’t quit my job because I valued the stability more than my sanity, I guess. But I absolutely could have, and had I, I would have done so thinking I was in a stable marriage and that we would be ok, even if I was making less. In the meantime, he was having an affair and was planning on leaving me for her. And now we are separated and I desperately need every penny to live on my own as he makes a lot more than I do. I think he was hoping I would quit, and have less money so I would be more dependent on his generosity. (Ideally, I wouldn’t leave him and would just allow him to go public with AP while I was his platonic appliance. That was his earlier proposal. A sort of sister wives situation but no romantic aspect for us. To be clear, there isn’t anything in my history to imply I would ever be open to such a thing. Well other than him always getting his way, but even for him, this was a big ask )
Abuser tactics : gaslighting (That never happened; and if it did, it wasn’t that bad; And if it was bad well get over it); blame shifting (if you’d have done what I asked this never would have happened; I would never do something like that; it wasn’t that bad, and you provoked me, it was your fault) moving the goal posts (I didn’t say get a part-time job; I said work part-time from home; Did I say from home? What I meant was if you worked part-time from home, and it didn’t interfere with the usual routine; Actually you always misinterpret what I say. Now if you’d just done what I said this would never happen). There is nothing to work with. Communication is not possible no matter what shape you morph yourself into. Then there’s the ever-useful DARVO: an acronym for deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. It is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers. When any of these tactics are used, you know what you are dealing with. There is no talking sense, no common ground. Get a good lawyer, and document everything first
I have a job that is very hard and I am underpaid but it means the world to me and positions doing this are VERY rare. He tried to get me to quit and the kids to be happy with an uprooting in 12th, 10th and 5th grades to move (3000 miles) so that he could have his family an his fuckbuddy in the same city. Even being underpaid, my job was at least something to count on and he wanted all of us to give up everything for the convenience of his dick.
Not only did I not do this, I still have my job and Cheater has been dead for 11 years.
My ex, the Lying Cheating Loser, hit on our 60-year-old married neighbor (he was mid 30s). He also hit on a couple of my (also married) housepainting clients.
There is no aspect of your life that is safe from “ruin by FW” until you leave them.
I hope your neighbor kicks her FW out so you are both rid of him!
Too bad mine was just a run of the mill, plain old stupid, selfish, narcissistic sociopath (sociopath was the word the judge added).
Not worth of a weekly contest.
Just awful enough to destroy our long marriage and knock me and the children off of our feet for many years.
Sad that the norm is just normal.
Same. There’s nothing funny about my abuser.
You’re in the wrong place if you don’t think we can ridicule abusers.
Yep
“Proverbs 17:22 (NIV) – A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Laughter is a gift from God. Laughter is a great way to stay encouraged.”
If I had not figured out a way to laugh at him and at myself, I might not be here now.
Tragedy plus time equals comedy. May not always be true, but it sure helps to use humor to help heal.
Yes, laughter is great medicine! The more we laugh at them and about their carry-on, the sooner we see them for the apes and absolute feckin’ eejits they are and that must surely help with getting to Meh!
Indeed.
OF COURSE the FWs are not funny. We are!! (once we’re schooled in CL’s smart frickin hilarious snark).
Chump Nation member status involves taking the piss out of those cruel bastards. Because they’re ridiculously pathetic. And laughing is the best [fill this gap].
And laughing is actually just the BEST!!!
“Chump Nation member status involves taking the piss out of those cruel bastards.”
Love that.
My late Aunt Helen’s most common quote when she ran across someone who was nasty was to refer to them as a piss ant. That included after a long marriage her alcoholic cheating husband.
Of the week? Here’s a FW who is reclaiming centrality when his ex is getting more kibbles than him. Or vise versa.
“Watching the attacks against Lauren, I feel the people should know the truth of our broken marriage and burden she has carried for too long,” Jayson Boebert wrote. “I take full responsibility for my actions, and I deeply regret the choices I made that led to the breakdown of our marriage. I was unfaithful to Lauren in so many ways. I should have always brought my best just as she did. My actions were selfish and thoughtless, and I failed to consider the consequences they would ultimately have on the person I hold dearest in my heart.”
He’s afraid of her having damaged her political career and losing a pay check. She should.
paid political announcement?
I haven’t been following this. Is he saying he cheated on her? Or that what he did (not folding laundry correctly) led to her cheating?
That’s what I read, it does seem he cheated on her repeatedly, but from what I’ve seen of her…it looks mutual. I can’t imagine sitting in a theater and having some sleazedaddy fondling my boobs under my clothing and me groping his groin….as well as the vaping in front of a pregnant woman and hollering and at the end “do you know who I am?” It was very explicit and open, I saw the video. It sounds like the Boeberts should have stayed together, they deserve each other.
Chump Lady, I truly wonder if this is a case where both parties cheated? Quite possibly we’ll never get the straight story.
Idk, but this is his post in full and all I see is a whole lot of “me me me.” In other words, typical FW. https://www.facebook.com/jayson.boebert/posts/pfbid02LRBNoMLGQGxUhdyUNPEuihXeAJFMNc8irgo2oiAy1TV7FS8F1CW5VpZJFnkwY72Zl?ref=embed_post
I’m giving everyone in the Boebert life-story the benefit of the doubt. Business Insider has a factual time line of their life and I’d say the dude has anger management issues and possibly some alcohol problems. I’m not making excuses for her or her behavior but I’m going to wait for more information. The family has some serious issues…
I’m doing the same, Stephen. I think his response is either he doesn’t want to lose his alimony or he doesn’t want to have his children full time. Children can be a drag when it’s party time. Some exes would take advantage of this situation and sue for full custody.
Hard to tell. But the word salad and public posting suggest more will be revealed.
Stepbystep, you made me laugh! “The word salad and public posting suggest more will be revealed.”
I think what he’s saying is that if she loses her job (her last election margin was razor-thin) there goes his spousal support, so please don’t let this scandal get her voted out of office.
Whatever one thinks of Boebert and her politics, the STBX is a long-time creep.
They’re both creeps – and this is a non political thing – but I would like to see her kicked out of office just on the basis of that disgraceful public activity. You don’t sexually fondle each other in a public theater (and assorted other things). Again, so many political figures, on both sides, are absolute entitled sleazebags.
I’ve got a submission!
I stumbled randomly upon this book just this past week:
The 50- Mile Rule, by Judith E. Brandt.
It’s a book about the about the proper etiquette of having an affair.
“THE 50-MILE RULE gives men and women the information they need to make smarter decisions when pursuing sex outside of marriage (including the rule that spouse and lover should never live within 50 miles of each other).
Discover who makes a suitable affair partner, the rules you must never break, when to call it quits, and what to do if yourself caught.
I wrote “The 50-Mile Rule” in an effort to understand how a conservatively-raised girl from New York could not just enter into an affair, but not feel particularly guilty about it. What I learned about how men and women truly interact – as opposed to the ways we might wish they did – are the basis of the book.”
What valuable advice it would have been for the FW schtuping the next door neighbor, your best friend or sibling, their bosses or understudies, the baby sitter.
Yes, they could have had the gold standard Esther Perel affair, dancing through the exuberant bliss of no consequences and the Ferris wheel of cake eating happiness.
If only they had taken Judith’s sage advice and preplanned their infidelity with control and responsibility.
“2022 marks the 20th anniversary of the release of The 50 Mile Rule, Judith E. Brandt’s pioneering guide to having successful, fulfilling, and toe-curling flings.
At times cautionary, this cheating instruction manual offers salient advice on arranging, managing, and finally cutting loose lovers once the thrill is gone. Though it could use a little updating in the age of smartphones, hookup apps, and social media, the advice contained in it is still very relevant for scandalous women who want to eat their cake and have it, too.”
“The reality is if nearly half of all (committed) people end up having an affair, shouldn’t someone be out there telling them how to do it right?” asks Brandt.
“Having an affair isn’t necessarily wrong,” she continues. “What IS wrong is going about it in an… emotional or drunken daze, with no thought to what happens if you’re discovered.”
“Affairs can rekindle feelings and emotions in you that you may have believed long buried. For some people, they’re the only things that make a long-term relationship tolerable.
More eye-opening is the number of people who have considered an affair or would if the
circumstances were right. LAIntelligence reveals 68 percent of women admit they’d cheat if it were guaranteed they’d never get caught.”
About the author (2002)
est
JUDITH BRANDT has over 15 years of experience in marketing, public
relations, and film development, and is currently the director of marketing for
a well-known humor magazine. She divides her time between Los Angeles and Colorado, while maintaining excellent relationships with her ex-husband, former and current lovers, and her dog, Ryder.
The irony to me is that one of my exFw’s long term mistresses( 6-8 years together until immediately on to the next one) was named Judith.
She didn’t want to be called Judy, mind you, FW once told me. She was way too classy a woman, proudly wearing her “Judith” moniker as she banged my husband for years.
Wow, Tracey really needs to take this trash apart. I read this article, it’s horrifying. What an awful person. Here’s a couple of excerpts: “A few too many ‘likes’ on your posts by your fuck toy can raise suspicions. You might consider not accepting follow requests from your lovers.
• Deny everything if you’re caught. “Admitting to an affair,” says Brandt, “almost always leads to misery. The spouse doesn’t want to believe it, and a confession only leads to hurt, rage, and months–sometimes even a lifetime–of distrust.”
So the person you’re having sex with and maybe romancing or giving gifts or whatever….is just a “fuck toy”…..I don’t even think APs should be regarded like this….everyone should be treated with basic human respect. Also, hide what you’re doing so you won’t be miserable….and God forbid your partner should ever DISTRUST you even though you are lying and deceiving them and plotting against them and possibly exposing them to disease. What a horrible person this woman is, and again, I have to wonder if her partner knows she writes this smut and what he or she thinks about this.
I have to wonder about the spouses of people who produce great heaping piles of shit like this….how they tolerate the smell. If I knew my spouse was writing books and articles about how wonderful cheating is and how to cheat better…..I’d look elsewhere for love.
Chumpasaurus45 , disgusting! Appalling! There is “no” right way to have an affair!
Unless both spouses have agreed IN ADVANCE that infidelity is OK. But I don’t call that an affair. I call it open marriage, or consensual polyamory.
The only 50 mile rule is that is the minimum safe distance from a cheater.
“while maintaining excellent relationships with her ex-husband”
Well sure, she can’t be a bad person if her ex husband is her friend.
They’re ALL gonna be…..EX husbands. Don’t see this woman ever succeeding at a committed relationship.
All this time there really HAS been a cheater manual.
Ha. Your comment reminds me of a talk I went to about a decade ago, by a lawyer who fought to make changes in where traffickers could make their advertisements. He showed us slides a literal grooming manual that circulates amongst these “businessmen.” How to identify vulnerable women, how to approach, how to establish trust, how to suddenly switch things up once they’ve become emotionally invested, and how to introduce what kind of work to ask the target to do in order to be treated “lovingly” again. A literal manual. Its author could be FW of the decade.
She has to be La Perel’s godmother.
Ugh. Did you find this online? Link? The UBT could have a snack.
It’s available to browse for free on The internet Archive. You’ll need a free id / password if you don’t have one. https://archive.org/details/50milerule00judi
I must have this book.
Be right back. Hold my coffee.
Okay, I just got a copy on eBay. It sounds fascinating.
(I have a child who reads the DSM V for fun)
😛
Double Ugh. Here’s the source of the article: https://scandalouswoman.com/featured/dalliances-and-indulgences-the-50-mile-rule-turns-20/
It mentions: “When the 50 Mile Rule was published, Brandt was a marketing executive at a well-known magazine who wrote under a pseudonym to maintain privacy. Her book seeks to help those inclined to stray to play it safe, or at least safer. Her 20 rules for affairs were gathered from private confessions and her own experience.”
There’s a lot more in the article, but I’ll leave it as Tracy fodder.
I really think people have to understand that when you commit yourself to a relationship – or to anything important, worthwhile….it involves making choices. You choose one thing or set of things and forego the other things that are contrary to that or would weaken it. You don’t try to have everything because that’s selfish and it never works out right anyway. The energy you have you can put into making a committed relationship work….or you can diffuse it in having various affairs….and then discarding your APs when you tire of them (as you usually do). It’s not a way to treat people and it’s not the right way to live in any context. You can be married or single….but you CAN’T BE BOTH. Make choices and try to live up to them.
I wonder if her spouse, partner, SO, etc, knows that she writes like this and thinks like this. Why on earth would anyone want to be with someone who advocates this kind of soul crushing behavior? Yeah, maybe it’s fun to sleaze around but if you get caught….and eventually most people do, whether they want to or not, you are going to destroy some very precious people, including your own children. It’s not worth it, it’s never worth it. It’s never right to advocate lying and deceit and selfishness in ANY context but especially with people who are supposed to be close to you. As we all know, if you are THAT dissatisifed in your relationship…..be open and fix it or move on. It’s the decent thing to do. Always try to Do the Right Thing….you won’t have regrets later.
It’s for sale on Amazon for $6.
Sorry for all the typos, it’s too early for me to function to full capacity.
Good weekend chumps!
I think my FW deserves a FW award but it’s hard to know which aspect is the most cringey. It could be when he told me after 25 years on DDay that he had a plan he’d been devising…he said he’d tried hookers, and that wasn’t enough so he went to sex clubs, and that wasn’t enough so he HAD to have a girlfriend because it was becoming inconvenient and unsafe for him to have random hookups. It was better for everyone, he said, that he just did his cheating with one woman. And so he found one who would do whatever he wanted in bed and he was going to live with her 3-4 days a week and then “hang out” with me and our daughter the rest of the time. He offered to “mow the lawn and do the taxes” at home and then he’d bounce back to the girlfriend’s house for his sexy time.
What kind of FW says something like that to their wife of 25 years? And for the record, I said “no thanks” to his fabulous offer. I mow the lawns myself and pay a tax accountant 😂
My STBX also generously offered “important family time ” and helpful housekeeping chores in between dating publicly and bringing his girlfriend on trips and to events such as weddings, business dinners, sporting events, etc. Our divorce will be final in approx. 90 days
LOLOLOLOL……why would he think you would ever agree to that? What is the great allure of that for you? You could hire some young guy to mow the lawn and maybe take care of trimming the bushes….something I bet FW sucks at. Was he really surprised when you went for divorce? What happened to this entitled AH?
Mine couldn’t even be bothered to mow the lawn. I did it. I think the only “chore” he ever did was take out the trash – literally and figuratively. And the only part about the figurative aspect of the trash he took out was the trouble of keeping up with all of his lies to maintain the double life.
So … why not? Why did you do everything?
No judgment here – I was responsible for everything in my marriage except clothes (buying and washing) and birthday / Christmas presents, and breastfeeding of course – but it did make sense at the beginning of my marriage (when XW arrived in the US she wasn’t confident about her English and, since she’d never lived on her own, didn’t really know how to adult either here or in her home country). As she learned the language and culture, I should have asked more of her but I didn’t. I doubt it would have saved the marriage, but maybe I wouldn’t have been so burnt out at the end. (I also always had a full-time job, though not one as glamorous as XW’s and somewhat less well remunerated)
So … why didn’t we ask our spouses make an appropriate contribution to our shared life?
My husband is like this….he insists on doing everything himself even if I offer. The only time I get to do things is usually when he goes to bed and I can sneakily make a meal or clean the refrigerator or do something domestic. I think he’s really tied up in how his mother, Domestic Goddess, did everything and it all has to be done exactly the same way whereas I don’t see anything wrong with paper plates, LOL. I’m certainly willing to do things but he always tells me I’m doing it wrong or not fast enough or whatever. Maybe it’s a control thing? Then of course, he gets angry that I’m not doing “enough”.
When you ask them to do something- or in my case he would “offer” and then do the job so badly at the last minute when my nerves were stretched wondering if he’d ever get around to it, I would never ask him again. Doing it all by myself was easier.
You know that incompetence thing was done purposely right?
I remember once I asked XW to cook dinner because I was working late. She put water on, forgot about it, and it boiled over and put out the gas burner. I arrived home to the entire house smelling like gas, and of course no dinner and kids not prepped for bed. I never asked again. XW is Italian born and raised and literally couldn’t boil water for pasta. The only thing she cooked was tiramisu (which doesn’t even require cooking) and even then I had to buy all the ingredients.
On the other hand, every parent faces this short term / long term tradeoff with kids. We let them try and try again in the expectation that they will eventually learn, and that failure is part of the learning process. (OK, not always – sometimes I get frustrated and pick up my son’s room just to get it done, but I know that it’s a bad idea in the long run). This is pretty much parenting 101. Why couldn’t I apply the same principle with my wife? Ask her to make sure the bills got paid, for instance, and just take the hit in late fees for a few months until she figured it out? I never did, she never learned, and XW called me a “financial abuser” on her way out the door. Everyone would have been better off if I had held her to a higher standard.
I dunno. It feels like you’re blaming yourself – you shouldn’t. She was an adult and wasn’t acting like one. I’ve had some of those feelings too, but I think they are who they are and if they aren’t willing to participate in the adulting then we can’t make them. My ex wanted to be left alone to be what he wanted to be and blamed me for wanting him to step up. I don’t think you can win with these types of people. Holding her to a higher standard might just have made her resentful- it was true in my case. My ex didn’t appreciate it at all and I was very kind and patient about it. I personally don’t think they change much no matter
Interesting question. I took on a lot of housework primarily because my FW just really didn’t do it. I tried everything – asking, coming up with rosters, lists, asked him what things he wanted to do, I paid a cleaner, I bitched, nagged, begged, stopped doing it etc etc. In 25 years I tried it all. He forgot the rubbish, didn’t wash the cars, did minimal gardening and never laundry or cooking. He would’ve had us eat out every night – he simply didn’t care. I had fantasies of just lying in bed for a month to see what would happen 😂 In the end I just gave in and did it all to save my sanity as best I could. It made me an anxious mess, but I didn’t want to live in filth and I wanted fresh, healthy food and clean clothes. It was really hard, made so much worse to know that as I was busting my arse he was out there fucking strange and doing whatever he wanted and lying about it. It was abuse.
My ex’s lawn at his new place looks HORRIFIC! The man must be allergic to yardwork. Even his dad, who set the shitty example my ex is now following, has called him out on not taking care of his home. When papa FW says, “Maybe you’re spending too much time golfing?…” You know the priorities are severely outta whack!
Same.
I think we’ve got a winner here!
What’s with mowing the lawns? After 37 years of marriage, Fraudster found Schmoopie online (turned out to be a romance scam), and told me that they would move nearby, she and I would be best friends because we had so much in common (actually nothing), and he’d come mow the lawn while we sat on the porch watching him. He had a lawn service, hadn’t mowed a law in years. Do they imagine themselves as hunky teenage boys, flexing their muscles while we pant over them?
I said, “no, thanks,” too, and filed. Every offer he’s made since then always was to get something. For example, he “offered” to drop off groceries when tween and I were isolating during the pandemic, then blew up when I said his friend could leave them at the door. He said he wouldn’t put his friend at risk like that…and days later demanded I let him or his friend in the house to get things he wanted.
He’s trying to see you, I think, I assume his wonderful post marital life….sucks in reality. I’d just leave his shit on the curb and tell him to get it or send a friend before a porch pirate gets it. I don’t understand the lawn thing….maybe it’s the only domestic task they can think of that they might actually be able to do?
“Mowing the lawn” is one of those heavily male-coded chores, at least in US culture. Remember that scene in the first True Detective where Woody Harrelson’s character is furious that his partner, in helping out the family, mowed his lawn for him? It’s also one of the first go-tos for men who are defensive about being asked to pull their weight around the house – sure, the wife appliance does laundry, cooking, and everything related to the kids, but HE mows the lawn once a week and that’s the same thing!
I’ll admit that I get some guilty pleasure every time I see my XW mowing the lawn at her new house. She never appreciated that I did all the traditional women’s work (cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc.) in additional to all the traditional men’s work (car, yard, bills, etc), and ultimately I think lost respect for me because of it. Unfortunately for her, AP (now husband) has to divide his time between her and his other household (1200 miles away), so XW ends up having to mow the lawn every once in a while. Plus, you know, all the other stuff – but the lawn mowing is the only thing I see from the outside when I happen to drive by. I’m absolutely sure she hates it.
Pretty sure my FW felt emasculated (therefore just HAD to fuck strange and stalk randos online) because I mowed the lawn. Fucker was never around – someone had to do it!
It is SO male-coded. When I (a girl!) complained about the unfair division of labor in my FOO it caused collective male hysteria from both my brothers and father…BUT MEN MOW LAWNS! The first time I actually mowed a lawn, I was like “what the hell, this is it?” Crazy.
My father had two daughter’s and so I grew up helping with yard work. I actually enjoy it. My ex grew up in the city and mowed yards with his uncle at an apartment complex. But he was crappy at yardwork. I rather enjoy doing the yard now that he is gone. I at least know that the edging is done correctly and that my plants weren’t weed eaten because he can’t recognize what they are.
Mowing a lawn is a public act, at least in the American suburbs. Nobody outside the family sees the person scrubbing the toilet or pretreating stains on laundry.
“Do they imagine themselves as hunky teenage boys, flexing their muscles while we pant over them?”
I think them acting like hormonal teenagers is on point.
My situation was long before CL and about three years before internet so it was a term I had never heard, but I remember thinking after one screaming at me incident, that he was acting like a hormonal teenager. He was 40.
Maybe there is something to Manopause.
This monster truck promo is the best investment ever! Awesome.
I was thinking the same thing!! Best money ever spent! I am going to head over to fivver now to see if there is Morgan Freeman hired voice. This would be perfect for my life.
Yes! Brava!!
I need to hire this guy for my voice mail …
Perfect intro to FW land, monster truck promo is great!! 😂
Buwahahaha! Love the monster truck FW of the week teaser. Reminds me of the promos for the rallies at the ‘Dome! ‘Dome! ‘Dome! ( the Silverdome).
My ex and his new wiftress going to the graves of my parents to leave them flowers and pray that their souls would be released from the grave and Into the loving arms
of God. Even making sure to bring them my fathers favorite color for flowers.
My ex used to take my son to my father’s grave. I sincerely hope he never took OW with him, because that’s f-d up. But I wouldn’t be surprised.
As the not very religious granddaughter of an evangelical minister…..I can also quote Scripture and here’s what you tell these two rotten bastards when they pull shit like this:
“Matthew 6
New International Version
Giving to the Needy
6 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Prayer
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Tell these two Jesus said to CUT THE CRAP.
Wow. Just … wow. That is some kind of warped. 🥶
The AUDACITY!!!
Yikes…
How we are all not in jail for murder astounds me. There are no words for the fury.
Oh, what a perfect Instagram moment for them. /s
Image management with each other and those in the great beyond.
It ain’t gonna work. Hell looms.
He sent me a picture of the headstone with the flowers he left for them.
Absolutely disgusting. He is continuing in his original sin with this woman and he needs to stop it. Check out my post above. He needs to be slapped down about 50 pegs. He should leave your family alone instead of trying to be like a Pharisee and proclaiming his prayers in public. Jesus said to pray privately and your good acts in private and not so others can see them because that is NOT the point of good works or prayer. This two defile religion.
Jo, if he and his skank are not wrapped in duct tape and in the trunk of your car, I salute you for beyond-human self-control.
Wow, Jo! That one got me!!!
Yeah/ he is now a “redeemed” Jesus cheater. Even sends me
And my sons Bible passages he thinks would be helpful
In my moving forward to forgiveness and being happy. He informed me that he harbors no “ill will” towards me after spending 30 years married to each other because God wants him to be happy.
I hate people like this, absolutely hate them. This is the answer to this: What did Jesus say to the woman taken in adultery. He said: “GO FORTH AND SIN NO MORE.” Adultery is the only thing in the Bible that justifies divorce. And when you SIN…..you cannot keep the proceeds of the sin….if you steal money, you can’t repent and keep the money. The money is part of the SIN. When you cheat and go with another woman, you are “keeping the money”. You are keeping the profits of the SIN. You are STILL sinning. You are not forgiven if you do not truly repent, which doesn’t mean just prayer or feeling sorry or empty words….it means punishment, it means sacrifice, and it means YOU DON’T KEEP THE PROCEEDS OF THE SIN…..you give it up in recognition that what you did was wrong and you don’t get to profit from it.
I like this description I just saw: “Was the woman caught in adultery forgiven?
There seems to be no evidence of forgiveness. His command to her was, ‘Go, and sin no more. ‘ He was directing the sinful woman to go her way, abandon her evil life, commit no more sin, transform her life.”
Did these two cheese balls admit their sin before the congregation and the world? In Crime and Punishment Sonia tells the ax murderer Raskolnikov to “Go at once, this minute, stand at the crossroads, bow down, first kiss the earth which you have defiled and then bow down to all the world and say to all men aloud, ‘I am a murderer!’ Then God will send you life again.”
Sonia urges Raskolnikov to immediately perform a public act of repentance to atone for his sin. In committing murder, he has turned his back on God and killed his soul. The path to recover inner life lies through confessing the crime, a crossroads from which he can’t turn back. The idea that public repentance reconnects a sinner’s soul with God represents a traditional idea found in many religions. (from sparknotes/lit/crime/quotes/character/sonia)
Before these two can preach to anyone else, they have to rectify their own sins against you and their families and communities, which means public confession to all who might matter and to renounce what they did and abandon each other. THAT would be…..going forth and sinning no more. Don’t take any crap off these two disgusting Jesus Cheaters. They defile religion.
He ain’t half in for a great big nasty shock when he faces Jesus then!!!
I remember Ex-Mrs LFTT castigating me for the effect that seeing the texts between her and her AP had on our children. She gave me both barrels, stating that the texts were private that I had no right to see them and that I only showed them to the children to damage her in their eyes.
I took a deep breath and said, in as measured a manner as I could “I don’t doubt that seeing the texts has damaged our children, but I did not show them to the children ….. they showed them to me after seeing them on the iPad that they use that is synched to your iPhone. I was (to quote the Del Amitri song) always the last to know.” She doubled down and accused me of lying, stating how this would not look good in Court. Again, I adopted a measured tone and said “Our eldest daughter showed me the texts on [date] after our youngest daughter had seen them and showed them to her brother and sister. If you do not believe me, ask our eldest daughter ….. having to tell your father that your mother is having an affair is not the kind of thing that you forget in a hurry.”
She never did ask our daughter what happened; most likely because she knew that what I had said was true. Part of me suspects that Ex-Mrs LFTT has never forgiven our eldest for having the audacity to “betray” her mother in such an egregious fashion.
Ex-Mrs is, and always will be, a piece of sh*t and the kids and I are well shot of her.
LFTT
That monster truck voice over is everything. I want to hire that guy to record my outgoing voicemail greeting. 🤣
My FW, like so many is quite laughable and at the same time, so pathetic. For 15 or perhaps more years (not sure), he pursued encounters with all sorts of whores and sluts, ignoing and gaslighting a brilliant and beautiful wife six years his junior who, by his own admission, singlehadedly raised a smart, successful annd wonderful child. Said child is now a successful and awarded attorney who texts mom a few times a week, calls her every Friday and never forgets her birthday, Mother’s Day, etc. Brilliant and beautiful mom, record holder in her age group across two states and still 5k racing on weekends, who has never had an ounce of fat on her and only hit triple digits of weight while pregnant, holds a doctoral degree and helped bail out the FW from financial trouble when they first met.(Of course, should have been a red flag)
FW is in his mid 70s now, balding (though he took Rx meds for years to keep his hair growing and lied about it), 5’4″, and and has a host of medical problems, in large part due to his lifestyle choices (heavy drinking, late nights, life of lies, whores with sexually transmitted infections). I saved his life after his first stroke; rode along with the EMTs to the hospital. He also has diabetes, high cholesterol, heart problems, blood pressure problems, etc. Handfuls of meds x2 every day.
What makes him a noteable FW?
One of his whores explained to me,while stroking the FW’s arms in a restaurant in front of our child and me, her “business idea,” of selling animal manure online and sending it in Fedex boxes to people, or simply sending it to people she didn’t like. He thought she was a great businesswoman and that he may want to work for her. (only after the first 10 or so drunken encounters)
Another whore (this one had a face that bore an incredible resemblance to a horse) told me,while her 2nd husband (maybe 3rd) was present, that she and my FW could be great friends, and in her experience (as a slut), there was no problem with married people sharing intimate information and being physically close to each other.
His hysterical lies about another one…”She said she wanted to see what my hotel room looked like.”
“We went to my hotel room (after a few hours drinking in a bar)and watched the news on CNN, sitting in chairs. Never on the bed.”
“She had a lot of problems.” (Spending your time getting drunk and having sex with countless married men can do that to a person)
“How was I to know she had HPV? She said she had cervical cancer, and yes, she had sex with lots of married men, but didn’t mention sexually transmitted diseases.” (I have had my head up my ass–or someone’s ass for the last 2 decades and never saw all the public info on this)
“My work per diem expenses were never enough to cover food, drink, entertainment, bottles of alcohol, transportation, etc, for the whores, so I had to use the family credit card. That’s why I had to keep admonishing you to not spend so much for food, things our child needed, basic neccessities. And that’s why our finances were so incredibly a mess. I had things I needed (whores).”
And finally..
“I had to babysit my younger sibs and I resented this (like 70 years ago). You were the target of my resentment, but it had nothing to do with you. I was just drawn to whores. I am learning to be a better person in my 12 step group.”
Yep, that’s me now. The one laughing hysterically at the stupidity of it all. Got to go now. Time to hit the gym for a few hours. And then I have my weekly manicure appt afterwards. No time for this crap anymore. It is all about me now, every single day. I won’t be there to call 911 when he strokes out the next time. Pretty sure no one will call.
Hopefully there is not much of a market, but I so want to send you a T shirt that says “My husband left me for a whore who sells boxes of shit online, and all I got was this lousy T shirt.”
Thanks for the kind thoughts. Laughing so hard, I almost cried! And there were so many more, even more deranged whores after this one…Sadly, this one may not be involved in this odiferous product right now(though I could be wrong), but is apparently still in business selling other products, and working customers, vendors, employees, etc with sexual favors. A very unsavory part of all of it is her self-portrayal of being a successful businesswoman who had to overcome so many obstacles in a male-dominated industry. Makes it harder for the rest of us women who don’t have sex as part of our business plan, and instead rely on knowledge, talent, hard work, perseverance and all that boring ethical stuff. Thanks again!
The OW sells shit? You. Cannot. Make. This. Stuff. Up.
“Shit for sale! Shit for sale! Roll up, roll up! Get your shit here! Cheap as chips! Buy one bag, get one free, while stocks last!”
I feel like I shouldn’t laugh! But I CAN’T HELP IT! Hehehe!
No kidding. I’ll never forget it. She had quite the “business plan” about it that day at lunch at the restaurant; not in our home state at the time. By then, she and FW were knee-deep (or maybe genital-deep) in encounters in a few different locations around the country, to the best of my knowledge. My kid was astonished/horrified at the scene. That night, child and I went out to dinner, while FW and the potential shit-seller got blitzed together on margaritas (maybe even discussed the amazing “business plan”) and he drunkenly returned to the hotel suite in the wee hours, reeking of alcohol, cheap perfume and sex. It was not the start of encounters with this deranged slut, but it was the beginning of the end for me.
How deranged? She has been booted off Twitter and Facebook for inappropriate (obscene) content. That’s remarkable, considering what is on there already! And she boasts of training her adult daughter, who lives and works with her, so she can take over the business one day.
Sadly, some of the other sluts were even more debased.
So many stories, so many deep belly laughs. Now.
JahMonWildflower, I find myself wondering what kind of training is needed to sell animal manure online.
SMDH.
Being full of 💩, that’s what
I kinda want to make that my ringtone. 😊
Oh god if this is what the site is decaying into I’ll pass
Bye, Felicia…
Aren’t those facts about Trump? But because he’s a public policital figure, we can’t bring up these truths about him? If that’s your reasoning, then yes, this blog may not be for you.
Too many for me to choose from … but I’ve discovered there is currently an online charity auction where you can bid to have Hannah Waddington (of Ted Lasso fame) follow around the person of your choice while she chants, “Shame!” CL, could this be an exception to the “if it feels good, don’t do it” rule for an FW of the week??? 😂
If so, I’m in!
3 weeks after my FW came clean about how he was leading an open affair while I was newly pregnant (and leaving me and our toddler), he posted something on Facebook, publicly stating “Chump (me) had a pretty bad day after we received news of our dog having terminal cancer and then getting into a car accident; chump could use some love, and so please send your love to and I will make sure I get everyone’s messages to her because she could use some cheering up.” I mean, the image management of appearing to be a loving husband but really betraying me and abandoning his pregnant wife… so needless to say I got notes from around 80 people expressing their care and concern for me but not really knowing the whole picture as laid out by my wonderful FW. Also needless to say, his AP was not very happy about the attention I was getting, as my FW had also managed to get his AP (a personal injury lawyer) to act on my behalf with my car accident case……. talk about stupidity on both sides!
Wow, you almost have to admire the audacity of having AP represent you. My FW had a similar flair for that sort of audacity. You would think that a FW would want to keep their schmoopie as far away from you as possible, but in reality they seem to want you to have some sort of relationship with them (I unwittingly was having brunch with my FW’s asshat, at her suggestion). Do they get a sick thrill from the power they think it gives them? Do they think if you end up friends with this person that you’ll realize how good a person they are, thereby absolving them? Are they just morons? Oh well – I don’t need to unravel that skein anymore.
What a spin master. I suspect there was even more to this. He directed people to “please send your love to and I will make sure I get everyone’s messages to her.” He could have directed them to send messages directly to YOU. Instead, he got himself a nice list of your supporters that he could use in the future, perhaps by messaging them directly to further spin the narrative. And what nerve to announce publicly that you had gotten into a car accident. Almost like he’s setting you up as irresponsible and a bad driver. And maybe as a bad parent, if your child was in the car.
When kids caught dad red handed on Christmas, he screamed at them that he had to cheat because he hated every minute of our family life. Kids became suicidal. I’ll never forgive him for saying that to them.
He could lead a blameless life for a thousand years and it would not be enough to redeem one word of his shameless attack on his children.
I believe when some one is so cruel to another, they make them suicidal, they’ve committed a grave sin of violence on them. If the victim does kill themselves, they’ve been murdered by their abuser, and the death is their sin, their fault, not the victim’s! It’s “hands-off” murder! Murder by stealth, with plausible deniability!
Pure EVIL!
Shadow, I agree with the culpability of the cruel person in scenarios like this. I wanted to die during the cruelty discard. Yesterday, I was taking part in a wonderful opportunity in a wonderful place and I was so full of gratitude…I thought back to the moments I wanted to be dead (so much so that I was mad at God when I woke up alive the next day) and thanked God for insisting that I live.
Oh my gosh, that’s so twisted and horrific. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so very sorry your kids went through this.
I hate your FW. I cannot even imagine a person saying that to their kids.
When our dog died, my ex kept looking at us – to gauge his wife (me) & our kid’s reactions, I guess.
I remember thinking, despite my grief, that he was acting so unnatural (for how much he said & portrayed loving our dog). Then all of a sudden, he burst into big gobs of snot & tears, whimpering & whaling away. We looked at him in shock because it was so dramatic & so fake. I just couldn’t comfort him either – I was actually repelled by his display – because I think I knew then -deep down- that he was a FW.
In my experience, my x2x looked to my face or to whomever was on TV on in a movie, or near him to mimic their emotions. I do not believe he ever had emotions of his own except rage and when he got his own way he was happy momentarily. I never realizes how empty he was. Like the gong of an empty oil drum.
That’s how I think about my ex too….empty
Wife #2 (and I believe #3) was famously his mistress during the previous marriage, so I wouldn’t feel TOO outraged about that.
You miss the point of this entire website. You should dig into the archives because the issue is CHEATING not marrying the person you cheated with. That’s a whole ‘nother set of issues also addressed on this site. It’s called fuckwits marrying schmoopies 😂
Yes, Stephen, that wife #2 was Schmoopie winning the dog turd prize (and thus not being a chump) was my entire point.
Cringe: 58 yo FW engaging in sex with 21-22yo girls-taking them on trips, local hotels, buying expensive gifts 🤮
Yea, Ew yuck.
Bill Clinton, 1998: “It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. If the—if he—if ‘is’ means is and never has been, that is not—that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement. … Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true.”
The surreal spewing of word salad perfectly captured the water-weenie mentality of cheaters. In the end all he did was dance around and hinge his indefensible cheating by essentially saying, ”I was not screwing her at the moment someone might have asked me on some undefined day.”
I often wonder if this “technically” mindset is the cheap fright mask worn by cheaters everywhere. If you ask them if they’re cheating or sleeping with someone, they will automatically say “no!” Because in that exact moment they are with you and not actually screwing that other person.
I would like to hear the cheater responses from Chumps who actually catch their FWs in the act, though.
This is EXACTLY the lying limbo dancing of my ex. If it wasn’t happening at that exact moment, he wasn’t lying. It was nothing but layers of obfuscation. Was he a lawyer? Yes, he was.
Wow! I’m a Democrat etc. etc., but I have to pipe up to say that yes, THIS IS WORLD-CLASS WORD SALAD!
Hoo where do I begin?
The ex who almost became a UFC fighter IF IT WERENT FOR HIS EX WIFE!! (shakes fist) yeah…THAT was what stopped him…oh and the only reason he never became a model for Abercrombie was because his daddy wouldn’t let him. BUT HE TOTALLY COULD HAVE DONE IT YKNOW…for realsies!
Or the ding dong who got one of his schmoopies pregnant and tried to run back to me but found that I had gasp moved on and was not interested in taking him back, who then went on a years long campaign to try to make me into a desperate woman trying to ruin his life, which included accusing me of fabricating my engagement, following my manager around at work trying to tell him I was crazy and can’t get over him (manager said “She’s literally never mentioned you.”) and finally ended when he tried to tell my maid of honor I couldn’t get over him (she said “Shut up -ex’s name-.”)
Or perhaps the guy who, after three years with him, told me he was very depressed and needed someone to talk to, only to tell me the reason for his depression (his grandmother’s death? Work stress? Nope!) was the girl he’d been cheating with was moving with her fiancé and he was never going to see her again. The engaged girl 13 years his junior. Then he got mad at me for not taking any pity on him and not listening to how saaaad he was.
So hard to choose…
My comment regards PESI, who provides conferences for mental health professionals. I received an invite for this piece of shit
https://catalog.pesi.com/sales/bh_c_001262_estherperelintimacyinfidelity_organic-31676
I am eagerly awaiting their follow up presentations on positive ways to inflict trauma and spousal abuse. I hear “Danny Masterson’s dating tips” is a real masterclass.
Long time lurker here. Final D Day was April 2020 just as the COVID pandemic was tightening its grip on a frightened world. Together 20 years, 15 legally married (in Canada). My other half had a well established history of serial cheating, gaslighting, lying, double life…in other words, a well equipped secret sexual basement. We had just returned from a long exotic holiday where I had heavily subsidized his first class travel. One night he goes missing from our bed. I awake at 3:00 am to find him nowhere in the apartment. The dog is standing on my chest whining. I look for dear hubby. Where could he be? We are in the middle of a pandemic. Nothing is open. The city is in full lockdown.
He crawls in the bed about an hour later and cuddles me. Tells me he went out for a walk with the dog. Dear hubby was going stir crazy and needed some “fresh air”. Wait? The same dog that was standing on my chest an hour ago? I am tired and say nothing and determine that this statement requires follow up cross-examination in the morning.
The next day I begin the cross-examination – to be honest…cross examining him and catching him in his lies was the only fun I had in our “mirage” for years. The usual dance between him trying to assess how much I knew so he can cop to the minimum “truth” possible. I skillfully dragged the truth out of him fact by fact.
Long story short: dear hubby met up with some of his online fuckbuddies at a condo apartment down the street. He was bottoming for an unspecified number of men. Crystal meth was the drug of the evening. This was all in the middle of a lockdown and a quarantine. Me wearing masks to do grocery shopping for us. Me wiping down every surface in the house twice a day to reduce exposure to potential virus. Hell…I even disinfected the groceries before putting them away. Dear husband of course did nothing except complain about how traumatizing he found it to wear a mask.
In any case, he exposed me to the virus without my consent. I was told not to be so uptight about it because the “guys” were really careful about health and hygiene. The proof point on his assertion was that he was asked to shower before his duties as the cumdump.
Golly gee…who knew? A simple shower was all that was needed to avoid the COVID.
I instituted an in-home quarantine and masking protocol immediately. Forced him to go get tested. We both will est and sleep separately. Engaged mediators to draft a Separation Agreement. We were legally separate by October and legally divorced the following September. I have been happier. Haven’t missed his sorry sad sack act for a single second.
I’m so glad you’re happy now Gay Divorcee, but other than that, I’m so appalled at what he was doing, I’m lost for words!
“I was told not to be so uptight about it because the “guys” were really careful about health and hygiene. The proof point on his assertion was that he was asked to shower before his duties as the cumdump.”
That is insane, but it is typical cheater behavior. My FW insisted it was okay that he hasn’t used condoms because AP was “clean.” Right, because good hygiene prevents STDs. He gave me HPV from his “clean” skank.
The FW stupidity sinkhole is bottomless, just like the FW depravity cavity is.
Good on you for gaining a fantastic FW free life. 👏
Thanks OHFFS. We were in a same sex marriage…but what I read here convinces me that what I endured is sadly commonplace. Some specifics are different…but the same rationalizations, deceptions, sense of entitlement and absence of empathy.
Ironically, after our separation he would text me helpful advice like “get the vaccine as soon as you can…see…I really do care about you.” Yeah right, I recall thinking at the time…but just not enough to NOT carelessly risk my health for your own self-gratification.
I have since embraced the healing powers of “no contact”.
To all of the wonderful chumps on this site…you are mighty and more of an inspiration than you can possibly imagine.
Correction: I haven’t been happier.
There are so many but for the one that pops out at me today. My X2x called me from the ER wanting me to pick him up after a procedure. He said he needed his nurse( yes I’m an RN) and where was I when he needed me???? Was I heartless??”This was AFTER Dday, after an HR investigation into a consensual acts AT WORK, after degrading me, after giving me his reptilian devoid of love and any emotion stare- mask off. This was after his unrelenting coercion, after moving my furniture out of ” His” bedroom”. Telling me I drove him to porn and others. This was After he was served, after the restraining order was in effect.
I -yes me, was heartless. Yup!
3 days after leaving the marital home – while I was a sobbing hot mess, wanting my life to end – FW sent a picture to our two adult daughters showing them a dessert that howorker had made for him. It was baked pineapple. It went down with them like a lead balloon. Wtf was he thinking?? That they’d respond with a ‘wow dad that’s awesome’….
🤷♀️🤦🏻♀️
Over all that shit now 😁
What a thundering ape he is! Feckin’ hell!!!
As Jim Royale would say “Baked pineapple, my arse!”,lol!
Cheaters can be so clueless.
This reminds me that when I was in a similar emotional heap in the immediate aftermath of D-Day, FW sent a breezy, happy-go-lucky email to his three adult kids after he abandoned me to live with his long-time, much-younger AP. Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah! “Would love to get together over a beer to tell you how AP and I met and fell in love.”
Ummm no. Just no. They were stunned and disgusted.
Never any acknowledgment of their pain.
Another lead balloon that he did not anticipate.
One guess who he blames for all this! 🙋🏻♀️
It’s as if an entire memory unit has been erased from their brains, along with empathy and imagination.
Nah….my 2 cheaters were very run of the mill. #1 was a serial cheater….I almost wrote serial killer, LOL, when I was in my early 20s. We were together about 7 years. I knew he cheated with other women and I just ignored it because it was more important that I keep him than keep my self respect. Then one day…..without warning or discussion, he just left. Left with another woman for another state and another job that he eventually got rich in. He never lied to me, I have to say, he just never discussed what he did, up to that point, I found out from other people, but I kept looking away. Never saw or heard from him again. We were not married, no kids, but it took me years to get over that, but I blame myself, esp now that I know so much. I guess I thought if I were only a little bit better, a little sexier, put more effort into it….but it doesn’t work that way. #2 was just garden variety online dating but he never met anyone in person (I do know that)….just sad stories of wasted time that I mainly blame myself for now.
Don’t be so hard on your young self. There are many reasons and many pressures young women cut themselves down to fit the outlines of their partners. As a college professor, I always have said that college is a place where young people can make mistakes and learn from them–not just in academic pursuits, but in personal relationships (yes, I know this is a privilege afforded to the few, and many, many more young people don’t have the luxury of soft landings).
Thank you, Adelante, but it took up so much of my youth – not only Cheater #1 but the years I spent afterwards grieving over him and trying to recover. I think because of my childhood it might have been harder on me than perhaps on others. I spent a lot of my childhood in various institutions and foster homes so stability in relationships has always been key to me and having picked such a dud who probably sensed by vulnerability….well, it changed the course of my life. That’s what bothers me the most. I can’t even blame myself too much but it’s just the waste of time and effort. I was so devastated by him leaving that I don’t even remember most of that time period. I don’t even remember who told me he left and what happened – it wasn’t him, I never heard from him again. I am amazed at how little I remember except walking around in the rain that night crying for hours. Everything after that is a blur for quite a while but I think I really blocked it out.
You’re right about Trump but in fairness I have to bring up Joe Biden – which is why I generally avoid politics in places like this. The story that Joe & Jill Biden tell about how they met….is not true. It’s another lie from Joe’s seemingly endless stream of lies. They say they met through his brother Frank in 1975 and went on a date. That’s not true. Jill was actually married before to Joe’s first major supporter and backer, a guy named Stephenson. They got married in the mid 70s and Stephenson was actually one of Joe’s biggest backers at that point and a personal friend. He said they knew each other in 72 and actually helped plan Joe’s campaign for Senator, which he unfortunately won (because Joe IS an awful person – both Trump and Biden can be awful people). Stephenson said that he and Jill were in the Bidens’ KITCHEN in 1972 helping to plan his campaign. It is also rumored that Jill, whom I think was around 20 at that point, quite a bit younger than Joe, babysat his kids so she knew Neilia (1st wife appliance) too. Stephenson said he found out in 1974 about Joe & Jill’s affair because of a car accident with Jill’s car & he found out that Joe was driving it…then it all unraveled and they got divorced. After the divorce, Stephenson was harassed for DECADES by Joe’s brother Frank (I think it was Frank) to give Jill stuff like the house, etc, and threatened with various things like tax problems, etc, if he didn’t. Well….he didn’t give that cheating POS this stuff and sure enough Stephenson & his brother started having all kinds of harassment esp over tax matters. Joe likes to have other people do his dirty work so he can pretend to be above the fray. So we have Stephenson’s word & the record of harassment for years afterwards. Personally I believe that Joe and Jill started their affair IN 72 & she decided to move up to the Senator model and I suspect that Neilia found out and that’s probably what led to the car crash that killed her. You know, a wife with 3 small kids in 1972 saying her new Senator husband was cheating on her with a bimbo that was married to one of his best friends & supporters….probably would have killed Joe’s career. There are other things about Joe I could bring up like showering with his then child Ashley which is in her diary that I have read online and which the FBI has confirmed. What kind of guy showers with his little daughter? Yeah…THAT kind. I could bring up other stories but again….Didn’t want to go there but I’m not going to just let it slide. Trump has done bad things personally and SO HAS JOE BIDEN. So have many of these pols….Robert Kennedy’s behavior with women was so bad that’s probably why his first wife killed herself. We could go on and on but the bottom line is that politics brings out the absolute WORST KIND OF PEOPLE and we can go both sides of the aisle. I wanted people to know this story as I find Joe Biden to be absolutely loathsome. Here’s a story you can read from the New Yorker magazine, about the Biden family – this is not a right wing journo – the first paragraph details how Joe used his young sons to climb into 2nd story windows of empty houses….yes, you read that right. Don’t look up to these people, they’re ALL crap. Here’s the story – I don’t know if I can post links here but you can find the story if you Google this: newyorker.com magazine 2022/08/22/ the-untold-history-of-the-biden-family
Please check your facts before you post something so defamatory, Mehitable. There is nothing in that diary which suggests Ashley was sexually abused and the diary was not authenticated as being hers by the FBI as you claim. The mention of showers was deliberately taken out of context to make it sound damning. Actually, lots of parents bathe with their kids when they are little. It could be completely innocent. I’m certainly not an admirer of Biden. However, saying he is a fuckwit is one thing. Saying he is a child molester is a whole other level of character assassination.
For the real story;
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/project-veritas-james-okeefe-ashley-biden-diary.html
Relevant excerpt;
“The diarist had made a list of childhood memories, some of them uncertain and dreamlike, of various forms of early sexual awareness. One of them read, “showers w/ my dad (probably not appropriate).” Nowhere in the text is it suggested that Joe Biden abused his daughter. But when ripped from its original context and shorn of its author’s intent, the mention of “showers” could be made to look disgusting, even accusatory, and O’Keefe excels at creative framing.”
There is no evidence to support these outrageous assertions. I’ve never heard any of this which would have been all over the news during the campaigns if existed. I’m calling BS. Let’s stick to surviving our own trauma. Leave the rest for the sordid journalists and politicians. Why is this even approved for posting.
Mehitable
TrumpSupporterTactic#761: Include a plausible-looking non-working link to the article that you are misrepresenting.
Talk about false equivalencies. This is like saying, “Hey Joe Biden took a joy ride in a car that didn’t belong to him when he was in high school! He’s no better than Donald Trump!”
Yes it’s true: Joe Biden was technically guilty of trespassing. (And–gasp!–he was never prosecuted!)
Would that that were the worst thing Donald Trump has ever done.
How is it that creepy people fail to realize that they inadvertently out themselves as creepy people when, in the absence of any evidence whatsoever, they accuse others of “creepy behavior”?
I wrote a post a few days ago that sort of brushes on this issue. I’m a lifelong lefty (much farther left than the mainstream) but tend to reserve the most ire for offenders on my own side sort of the way countries reserve greater punishments for traitors than they do for enemy combatants. I do not circle political wagon around rapists especially. So, yes, there are plenty of creeps on the political left. But here’s what I think is the difference: at the moment, the right has gone far beyond traditional conservatism and is veering into outright radical authoritarianism while the mainstream left– though it’s swung far too “right” for my tastes– still maintains the (admittedly often hypocritical) guise of groovy egalitarianism. And there’s arguably this tradition in violent political authoritarianism of openly appealing to a violent rapey base. So while Trump can nearly balls-out brag about his revolting history to draw the votes of the eternal creep base that every society in history harbors in its dark corners, even the creepiest Dem candidates can’t currently openly appeal to that small but manically energized base.
There’s obviously such a thing as the authoritarian/totalitarian left (that’s another argument about whether totalitarianism can ever be genuinely socialist since Soviet Russia basically established state capitalism by killing off all the unions) but the mainstream left in the US is just not currently in that phase, at least not openly. If it was (I think only a world war or epic crisis could cause that shift), you might see the rise of charismatic left-ish candidates beating their chests, flaunting their “exploits” and appealing to that eternal creep minority who have no particular political ideology beyond dreaming of a world where they can let their violent freak flags fly free. That base will get behind any flagrant criminal whether a Hitler or Mussolini or a Stalin or Pol Pot because one of the lesser discussed perks of living under violent authoritarianism is nearly free reign for average Schmos to commit sexual violence.
Anyway, creeps abound. Some are loud and proud and others sneaky and covert. The larger problem to me is that society seems to be perpetually searching for a violent daddy figure as some kind of mass reenactment of childhood trauma. It just doubles my resolve to improve justice for victims with a hoped-for side effect of decreasing society’s tendency to elevate creeps to power.
I’m cynical to say the least about most politicians, see my post above , but what disgusts me most about the Biden’s, as well as his inappropriate, and frankly disturbing behaviour around children, is their purporting to be devout Catholics! Their hypocrisy in this matter sickens me and plenty other Catholics! Going to Rome to glad-hand Francis, whom I also do not like nor trust, was nauseating. Biden coming here to Ireland and having his backside kissed and we all supposed to be pure delighted like he was JFK (also an adulterer) reincarnated was intolerable!
I’ve no illusions about Trump, he’s one of the entitled, arrogant super-rich, was pally with Epstein and is an adulterer. But Biden’s no better, and might, just might, be even worse!
People just can’t help themselves can they. In no other post that I’ve EVER read on this site have commenters done the, “Oh yeah? This FW is worse than yours.” Just out and out shows that it IS about politics. You just had to both sides this shit and you couldn’t even keep it to the infidelity stuff which is the whole point of the blog. Keep wallowing in your conspiracy BS with fake links and doctored pics and videos. It’s fine to nominate Biden. I’ve not doubt he’s a FW. But you are telling on yourself.
ITA, LurkerChump.
Good nomination, Mehitable. Biden is surely a FW, as well as creepy in general around women and girls. He should definitely get a week.
I think the thing that makes Trump stand out is that he has no shame, real or feigned, and that his supporters will still defend him to the death no matter how many times he shows them who he is, and no matter their own moral code. He’s enlisted 40% of the country as flying monkeys. You gotta give him credit, that’s quite an accomplishment. I think he gets a week as well.
And this is the explanation for all those Switzerland friends and enablers. Their ‘moral code’ takes an immediate back seat to their tribalism and sense of loyalty towards family members/friends/anyone they perceive as on their political ‘team’.
It’s very enlightening because we see it right here in action. I don’t like the behavior of ANY of these people and I think it all needs to be called out. But if we defend bad politicians because they are on our “side” (they really aren’t, they just want to make money) we’ll defend this behavior PRIVATELY too. I think people need to consider this because it clearly shows how Switzerland came into being.
BTW…..the one who relayed the story to the writer about Hunter & Beau climbing into the 2nd story windows of empty houses so Joe can go in and take a look around…..was Hunter in 2019.
I’m way passed the idea of fake news and now call things making shit up. Trump confessed, confesses and brags about who he is and everything he has done as a person. No one can make up shit about Donald Trump because he tells on himself. On the other hand, in some weird exercise in “we are all the same”, some people just make shit up and hope no one will check to see if it is true.
I suspect that loads of senior politicians are morally bankrupt. Old Boris Johnson has a rake of illegitimate kids with different women, the sheer amount of scandals about British politicians is scary.
As for the lot above in Daíl Eirreán here in Ireland, they’re gombeens and cute hoors to a man and woman, save for a very few who stand out because they’re NOT self-seeking, lying, traitorous scumbags who’ve been bought-and-paid-for to sell out the Irish people and to sell Ireland herself to global interests!
I should imagine plenty of them regard people as things to be used, and lying, fleecing and cheating the Irish public is their M.O., so I bet plenty of them do it to their other halves as well!
How do you know when a politician’s lying? His lips are moving!
Shadow– Just a stray thought: Why is it that the fuckiest FWs always seem so completely unfuckable? Could you even visualize having sex with Boris Johnson (I’d rather eat glass) or most of the other dilapidated creeps involved in these sensational scandals? A close friend who grew up in the fancy seaside enclave where my kids went to school was sharing all the local FW lore and adulterous cheating gossip and I was amazed. It’s not that the worst cheaters weren’t conventionally attractive because “sexy” has little to do with commercial beauty standards. It’s that they were all dry as a bone and the least sensual beings imaginable– literally the last human beings you could even imagine having sex. Anyway, it just strikes me as interesting. I read a study which reported that many rapists tend to present as “asexual” in order to avoid detection. That seems to be the FW norm as well.
That makes me think of Henry Kissenger, one of the most unattractive men I have ever seen…..ever.. .and how he always had a beautiful woman. He said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac and that’s probably what it is for some people. As you say, I’d rather eat glass. With hot sauce.
The primary OW is a Chinese national he said he found on Craigslist in Causal Encounters. Very possible. At DDay I found out he was a patron of illlicit Asian massage parlors. I heard, “I’ve always been attracted to Asian women but never acted on it because my parents wouldn’t have approved.” I am unmistakably Caucasian.
I recently found out that they are running an illicit Asian massage parlor business and escort service. Previously I thought karma might come in the form of her finding out he was cheating on her, or vice versa. But it turns out she is in on it and evidently he is cool with her servicing randos. Now I think it’s more likely he met her in an illicit Asian massage parlor.
The situation is in the law enforcement pipeline and I am participating as a very knowledgeable and very willing informant. My new karma fantasy is they get matching engagement handcuffs and he finds out she’s been playing him for cash and prizes as may very well be the case.
I changed his ringtone on my phone to the theme from The Sting.
Fingers crossed, Chump Nation, that Dumb As A Box of Rocks and his “sole mate” go to jail.
Thank you for the Monster Truck voice.
I needed that today.
Thank you.
My bid might need some qualifying. I nominate the married doctor and father of two whose dalliance with and apparent professional shielding of child serial killer Lucy Letby was partly made public while his name was not. That’s the part that earned this creep my vote– that he demanded and was given special FW dispensation by the court to hide his identity because this may also be hiding a problematic tradition in medicine where playing schmoopie for douchy medics and medical system honchos is such a well worn career track that a serial killer could count on it in order to stack up some more innocent victims. It remains to be seen how much influence this piece of shit exerted to protect Letby– point being the public should be allowed to see the facts in order to know whether the system and the courts are properly weighing them.
In this doctor’s defense, I’m sure he banged a whole series of nurses and underlings in exchange for a bit of professional coddling, most of whom didn’t go on to murder 17 (or 27 or 30?) newborn infants. I admit that, generally speaking, workplace sexual favoritism is a lesser issue compared to workplace harassment or assault. In many workplaces, favoritism mostly just lends to “negative environment” and quality control problems. For anyone who’s suffered through working in a “permissive” environment and has lost opportunities and sleep because they refused to bang superiors while others leapt on deck, the problem is more than a little irksome. It can be career ruining and can cost businesses money and rep. But in “life and death” professions like medicine, sexual favoritism– like any of the “lesser” side effects of a generally toxic coverup culture– takes an even creepier hue. The Letby case could show the potential cost of when dangerously incompetent or even murderous bimbos/himbos expect a bit of political protection and patronage from whoever they’re bonking in the stockroom.
Obviously the much larger crisis within the NHS is that those who blow whistles on dangerous practices get no protection (while those who blow people in power seem to). Apparently anyone calling out systemic issues risks losing their career and the coverup culture seems to include the difficulty of reporting on sexual harassment or sexual favoritism. According to recent reports, most of the young medical professionals being perved on within the NHS aren’t willing participants. Not even female surgeons are protected from harassment (some of which seems to be occurring while they’re performing surgery) and quid pro quo pressure to have sex with superiors in order to advance their careers. So one of the reasons why even victims of harassment within the system might not welcome scrutiny into favoritism is because the innocent could end up being tarred along with the opportunistic hustlers. But that’s just a reason to handle the matter carefully, not ignore it.
I hope “Dr. A”– as he’s called in court transcripts– ends up being publicly exposed in the upcoming investigation of systematic failures in the Letby case. I also hope that the investigation puts a spotlight on both the punishment of safety watchdogs as well as the system of harassment and transactional favoritism that likely contributed to the deaths. Finally I hope it ends this weird practice of legally shielding FWs.
I was a nurse in the NHS for 19 years, and I am a staunch supporter of NHS-style healthcare to this day, especially as I have experienced life without it here in Ireland! However, I’ve no illusions that there’s no corruption in it! Although I was never sexually harassed nor preyed on, it’s a long story but I did have a senior manager put his fist up to my face when I acted on the U.K.C.C. Code of Conduct and went to him with concerns for the safety of both patients and nursing staff in the small psychiatric acute unit I was working in at the time! I wasn’t exactly a whistle-blower, but I was rocking his little boat and I knew he was was warning me to keep my big trap shut!
I fell pregnant with my son whilst there and knew I wasn’t safe! It was such a relief to leave and I have never regretted it!
Also I’m very sorry that you had to experience such a traumatic work situation. I don’t know if you ended up quitting the entire profession to boot which is such a typical added tragedy of those kinds of dynamics (which chase out anyone with integrity leaving only cyborgs and creeps running the show). I would relate because I forever quit the media industry after working under someone who later ended up in all the headlines for multiple allegations of raping minors. I was also pregnant at the time and, at least at first, the abuse was not overtly sexual. I just had this creepy feeling the guy hated pregnant women for some reason. He would mostly glare, obstruct my work or sic his minions on me, including another far more overt bully who nearly drove me into pre-term labor. The latter POS also later ended up in headlines for emotionally abusing child performers.
I should have quit that job immediately but was young and struggling and thought bailing might put a mark on my career so I went back after giving birth. That’s when rapey boss started running his fingers along my arms every time he walked by. Ah. Though I didn’t yet know about his history of rape, I suddenly understood why the boss’s long-suffering wife was so nervous and reserved with every woman who worked there. His behavior also put a solid name to the earlier, more indirect abuse and I quit. So don’t be so sure the threats you experienced didn’t have a strain of creepery underlying them. Rapey fucks get especially pissy and testy when they think a target is off limits or inaccessible for whatever reason.
Of course I was trailed with bad buzz for quitting in the middle of a project but then the boss’s criminal past was exposed and everyone who’d once played henchman or flying monkey for him was covered in shit. But the expose and the #MeToo movement were too late for me. I’d dealt with endless harassment and even stalking and assault in that industry since before leaving school and I was done.
Speaking of favoritism, it was never confirmed but I remember a couple of stupid women working under that creepy married boss who had the telltale toxic behavior of complicit schmoopies. Hard to explain but I’d seen this effect quite a bit in that sleazy industry: workplace schmoopies often become imperious or abusive with peers as if they’re borrowing power and wearing the FW overlord’s strap-on dick. I sense “borrowed power” is part of the psychopathic motive for willingly banging the boss. But the asshole behavior of these women was barely noticeable compared to the more raging abuses going on at the time so I didn’t really put two and two together.
Blimey! You haven’t half been put through the mill over the years HOAC! I haven’t experienced anything anywhere near as bad!
I did end up leaving nursing for good because I ended up having to leave my baby father, not because he was a FW but because he was irresponsible and exhausting! I reared my son alone for 9 years before I got together with FW and, as I had no support from family nor from baby father, my parents were elderly, frail and had moved back to Ireland, them my mum died in 2001, so I had to go on State Benefits. I had a couple of part time jobs, minimum-wage, but couldn’t keep them up as they always wanted more hours from me and I had no one to mind my son for me on a regular basis, never mind for the hours that nursing requires. Then my Registrations expired, then my qualifications became obsolete altogether, so I couldn’t go back without re-training to do a job I had been doing for nearly 2 decades! Nah, I wasn’t up for that. I don’t regret leaving nursing, but I do regret not training for a profession that would have paid me well enough to afford full-time child care as a single mum and had more social hours, e.g. every weekend and Bank Holiday off, but it’s one o’ them, ennit? We can’t go back in time and re-do life!
What you talk about reminds me of a heartbreaking line from the old film “The Verdict” in which a (supposedly Irish. Not sure about the accent) nurse goes on the stand and testifies about corruption in a hospital that killed a patient and destroyed her career, finishing off with “Who were these men? I wanted to be a nurse!” The people who belong in the profession seem to be the fist to get chased away.
In the US you’d pretty much have to be a CEO to afford decent childcare so it’s leaving kids with family or nothing for most. It’s a disaster for women’s autonomy.
Shadow– I live part of the year in a country with universal public health which I think is a Godsend so my comments about the NHS weren’t meant as criticisms of socialized healthcare. But since we’re on the subject, I’ve been reading compelling arguments that, if the NHS is currently faltering, the real culprit is the neoliberal privatization push.
I used to work for an environment health publication and one of the things I was assigned to watchdog was how water privatization was impacting health (perfect example: lead in municipal water in Flint, Michigan). Since then I’ve come to understand that the scheme to privatize public services and resources worldwide always follows the same pattern: “Defund, defame and privatize.” First the free market mavens with corporate puppet masters get themselves appointed to positions of control over public resources/services. Then the moles make sure money is pulled from the system in question with the aim of gradually decreasing quality and engineering crises. Then the complicit corporate media jump in to howl about how the cause of the failure is the public nature of the service/resource and begin to champion private corporate actors who will “save” the system because of blahditty-blah-free-market-blah-blah. Then usually “emergency managers” who don’t answer to the public are put in charge of the failing system and, if it hasn’t been already, the system is put under the control of a so called “public/private” partnership. And finally, voila, in come the private corporate “firemen” to put out the fire they themselves set. Then once the system is fully under corporate control, the quality of the resource or service completely bottoms out while prices explode but, oops, the hoodwinked public discovers that privately controlled services have zero accountability to the public which can’t even file freedom of information act requests to scrutinize.
I don’t live in the UK so correct me if I’m wrong but it seems like something along these lines may be happening to the NHS which, by all accounts, used to work very well. What’s so interesting is that public health– if it’s not being deliberately screwed with– generally seems to work so well even in very poor countries that it takes all sorts of complex maneuvers, energetic fuckery and dastardly schemes to crash it.
You make a good point! I started my training as a General Nurse in June 1979, just after Thatcher became P.M. ( I was raging, coming from a Labour-voting Irish immigrant family and having just voted Labour myself in the G.E., because it was the party of the working-class in those days! I feckin’ LAOTHED that bloody woman!) I can tell you, the slow privatisation of the NHS started all those decades ago under her, as she was mad for privatising Britain as much as she could! She started to slowly privatise nationalised industries like British Rail and the Electricity Board and Gas Board, then with the NHS, bringing in more and more managers, changing the way it was managed so it was more like a business. Then they decided to change nurse training from hospital-based training that was more like an appreticeship, where we learnt mainly at the “coal-face”, to university-based training which now seems to be showing to be having a detrimental effect on nurse recruitment and retention. (I know that if I’d had to go to uni, I wouldn’t have done nursing-I’d have chosen a far higher-paid profession with much less unsocial hours for a start!) Not enough nurses giving hands-on patient care means ward closures, backlog of waiting lists and people being made wait longer and longer for treatment, over-crowded wards which reduce quality of patient care as there’s simply too much to do and not enough nurse to do it all! Not that most wards were ever overloaded with staff IME, except for the 2 paediatric wards in the city I trained in! We were usually run ragged, so it must be awful nowadays!
Cut a long story short, subsequent governments picked up Thatcher’s privatisation baton and ran with it! Even Tony Blair’s lot didn’t do much to reverse the privatisation of services, including in the NHS. By the time I was doing a bit of agency nursing whilst pregnant at the hospital I’d done my General Training in, I couldn’t believe how untidy and sort of grimy-looking the wards had become. It was because the trusty Ward Domestics of my time, who were NHS employees, part of the ward team and who took great pride in their work, had been got rid of and the cleaning of hospitals had been farmed out to private companies, many of whom employed agency cleaners, and one cleaner would have to clean several wards, rather than just being responsible for the one she was a member of staff on. The cleaners were over-worked and having no connection to the ward team, didn’t have anywhere near as much invested in keeping the wards sparkling clean, plus they just did not have the time.
Domestics never cleaned up bodily fluids though- us trainee nurses and nursing auxilliaries did those lovely jobs! One of the big complaints since the nurse training was changed is how dirty the wards became, because it’s been noticed that nurses with degrees appear to regard cleaning up blood, vomit, poo and pus as beneath them- why? Because there’s so much muck around and it’s just left! Plus there seems to be be no more Ward Sisters, the formidable women who ran the wards of my time like army camps, lol!
Oh I’m waffling but yes, the slow drip privatisation of parts of the NHS has had a very detrimental effect on the standard of patient care from what it was when I was a student nurse all those moons ago!
Shadow– That’s hardly waffling! I think there should be a giant coffee table book (with photos) with a chapter documenting narratives like yours and other NHS staff describing the inexorable decline due to privatization. The other chapters could be about the effects of the privatization of water, postal services, the military and the rest. Personally, I think this shift is not only an economic, ecological and human health disaster but suspect it’s also doing something Orwellian (or Kafkaesque? Some dystopian thing or other) to people’s souls and social attitudes. I could go on and on. Anyway, there should be a book like this.
Considering your sentiments towards Thatcher, you’ve got the see the film El Conde on Netflix. It’s brilliant black comedy but admittedly very gory. I had to cover my eyes a lot but I think the slasher element is clever since I believe it’s meant as bait to lure in today’s politically susceptible youth who seem to be going neoliberal-fascist in droves. The film is half in English because the whole thing is narrated by a Thatcher doppelganger to great effect. There’s a lot about economics in it, also wittily done. The Chilean filmmaker Pablo Larrain has rapidly become one of my all time faves because his political acumen is as sharp as his dialogue and direction, plus the fact he seems to reserve his most vicious commentary for sexual abusers. Let’s see if he keeps it up with his next film, a biopic on Maria Callas.
My FW isn’t a spectacular example of FW’s but he did do one thing contest-worthy.
My mother-in-law hated me all through our dating and 10 year marriage. When we divorced, she would send birthday/xmas checks for her granddaughters to FW. At the time, FW was paying $300 / month child support for 2 children. If he happened to buy his daughters something like a pair of shoes or socks when he had them visiting, he would subtract that from the $300 check for their support.
Somehow my MIL found out that he was not spending her checks on her granddaughters, so she began mailing them to me. As a dutiful mother, I would allow the kids to spend it and make them write her Thank-You notes.
Somehow FW found out about this and he tried to find out how much she sent so he could subtract it from child support.
That was 30 years ago. Now he wonders why his own daughters don’t like to spend time with him. I must be still controlling them.
Wow. Deducting a child’s birthday/xmas check from a grandparent from his support obligation is definitely monster-truck announcer FW worthy!
What a dick of a man, Emma! That’s awful. You wonder how they justify that in their own heads?
I think they have it in so bad for us as the source of all their pain, that the more they can keep out of our hands, the happier they can be. Collateral damage to that is losing his daughters, but they don’t really care about anyone at all is what I firmly believe to be true.
They are on a journey to get what they can out of us and they don’t care who they hurt doing that.
I could not agree more.
My lying, secret sex basement cheater eX, was oogling the college girls and young women among our family & friends (while in his 50s), stealthily inappropriately touching & hugging the same, creeping on my own girl friends (when i was in my 40s &50s) and being sexually demanding (coercive) with me every chance he got (my feelings did not matter)…… and this was before I discovered the porn, the prostitutes, the perverted massage parlors and the penis extension sex toy searches on amazon.
That “Monster Truck” voice-over is spectacular!!!!
Snakeface and I rarely argued during our marriage because both of us were conflict avoidant types, but sometimes I would get pushed to the limit of my endurance and open my mouth.
On one occasion, when I dared to question the excessive amount of time he was spending away from our family, to go to sweat lodges and other ceremonies (or any other places he wasn’t being truthful about), he attacked me for my lack of support, then, in a tone comprised of equal parts arrogance and offendedness, declared : “The boys are my first priority!”
Yeah, the same boys he didn’t see at all on too many weekends or during weeks of the summer. I had no words.
One of the times I expressed my discomfort with his growing relationship with Tuberculosis, he claimed “She prays for our marriage.”
Prays for it to end, probably, I thought.
Finally, another gem, not directly related to Snakeface’s cheating but soooo revealing about the depth of his self-absorption and self-delusion. One cold winter night, several months into his immersion into Lakota spirituality, when he was starting to plan for his first hanblecha (roughly translated as “vison quest”), we were standing on our deck looking at the sky. There was a rare winter halo around the full moon, truly a gorgeous sight, one I’d never seen before. Snakeface choked up with emotion as he told me that the moon was personally blessing him. All that beauty was a message directed at him, affirming all that he was doing. He was serious.
Again, I was speechless. I was caught between truly wanting to be a supportive wife because I did love him, even though my anxieties about how interwoven Tuberculosis was with his spiritual life were getting worse all the time, and thinking that he sounded like a complete jackass.
I was thinking this sounded like bipolar disorder, which–as I know from a family member with bipolar disorder–can produce manic states in which the moon, the stars, or anything else can “send” you a cosmic message that you are blessed and specially chosen.
“Snakeface choked up with emotion as he told me that the moon was personally blessing him. All that beauty was a message directed at him, affirming all that he was doing. He was serious.”
Was he on drugs? FFS, what an insanely grandiose weirdo.
May I nominate the ever predictable David Brooks? New York Times columnist, author and previous worthy target of CL’s brilliant wit. FWs are so full of themselves and their own importance, and not very bright
He had a Twitter/X public meltdown recently and went after an airport restaurant
David Brooks posted a picture of the cheeseburger, fries and a drink on X, formerly Twitter, Wednesday with the caption: “This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible”
The 911 Smokehouse Barbecue restaurant replied:
“Looks like someone was knocking back some serious drinks – Bar tab was almost 80% and he’s complaining about the cost of his meal [thinking face emoji] keep drinking buddy – we get paid off everything.
🥃🥃🥃🥃 😜🤪
David Brooks is in the FW Hall of Fame.
Hah, Joyce Carol Oates even piped in. According to commenters’ bar math, Brooks must have had about three double scotches in a short space of time which suggests he’s built up quite a tolerance. If memory serves, when FW was secretly drinking at this level with his equally cirrhotic AP, he was hell on wheels at home so congrats to Brooks’ OWife. Clearly she won the big pickme dance prize.
I love it when a man who left his long term wife to marry his “soul mate”, is drinking himself silly!
CL is right–they do not get a character transplant.
“Looks like someone was knocking back some serious drinks – Bar tab was almost 80% and he’s complaining about the cost of his meal [thinking face emoji] keep drinking buddy – we get paid off everything.”
Lmao! So it seems the great “moral crusader” has a wee problem with alcohol in addition to his wandering wee willie.
Ok but that monster truck thing was brilliant!
Annoyed with my Fuckwit because I just realized the mofo took my packing cubes when he moved out and as I’m getting ready to leave for my first trip since everything went down I’m beyond annoyed so at this current point in time my vote is for him lmao
Get this. A friend of mine distanced herself from me. When I asked her what I did to offend her she told me it wasn’t me — it was my ex.
When I confronted him, he got her on the phone and asked very specific questions. “Have we slept together? Have we kissed?” She responded no. At that point, I figured something has triggered her because her ex had gotten involved with a swinger group. And you can’t force someone to be your friend…
Fast forward 10 years later. I discover his affair, we split.
I reconnected with my gf — turns out last time she visited he went to her and told her that he’d be back for a blow job once he knew that my daughter and I were deep sleep.
She left — when I asked her why she left in the middle of the night, she said she couldn’t sleep and had a major work project, so decided to go home.
Turns out he was a predator — he had tried before. Met her for dinner when she thought I’d be with him. Told the taxi driver to go to his hotel room, which she did not do.
I’ve discovered other stuff, dating back years, but this completely shocked me and grossed me out.
When I challenged him, he tried to deflect on her. I don’t care what she did. He’s the married one. You just don’t go there.
He was/is a covert narcissist. Always playing the role of the nice guy/good husband/devoted father.
It’s a hard lesson to learn that if they flirting with someone in front of your face, there fucking someone behind your back.
FWs have no problem lying and assassinating others’ characters so chances are the friend may have done zero to court this. As I learned as an advocate for domestic violence survivors, this seems to be a typical part of abusers’ social isolation campaigns against partners to drive wedges into partners’ friendships. Hitting on partners’ close friends is usually an attempt to kill two birds– dip their wicks and kill your social life because you weren’t supposed to have any friends to begin with. Friends are dangerous because they might have supported you against FW’s campaign of repression. They might even introduce you to their handsome and charming brothers, second cousins, pals and coworkers after a breakup which would mean– gasp– instead of lying in a fetal position in the gutter crying FW’s name forever, you might move on to greener pastures and be– double gasp– happier without them. That simply will not do. Easy fix: they try to bone your friends. Even if the friends think FW is gross they’re going to be freaked out or avoidant of being shot as the messenger. Win-win.
🤣 I’m dying laughing at that voice actor.
For fuckwit of the week, I want to nominate this epic asshole;
https://www.tmz.com/2023/09/07/lenny-hochstein-lawsuit-plants-removed-home-ex-lisa-moving-out-divorce/
The history is that, unbeknownst to his wife Lisa, Lenny was caught on camera admitting he was cheating, then a few weeks later announced the marriage was over. He immediately demanded his wife and kids leave the marital home. She refused. He went public with the AP, who reportedly licked her lips when confronted by Lisa. At this time Lenny was still trying to get his Lisa to buy him groceries, was going over to the marital home and letting himself in, only to scream at her in front of their kids. As soon as Lisa had been out of town for one day, he had brought his mistress over to the marital home, presumably to fuck in what had been the marital bed. So then the two loony FWs got engaged not long after and taunted Lisa with it via instagram. Lenny recently succeeded in ejecting his wife and kids from the family home, but is now making a monumental fuss about the things she took with her. He wanted her to only take the contents of one bedroom, but she dared to take enough furniture to raise two kids comfortably. This POS is so petty that he’s getting legal over some potted plants.
So whether one watches these crazy reality TV shows or not (a guilty pleasure of mine) I think he is eminently qualified for the exhalted position of FW of the week.
By the way, I laughed so loud at the FW/monster truck recording that I made neighbors’ dogs explode in a chorus of barking. That was truly inspired. 😉
I can’t find Paul doncasters the stranger video. Can you drop a link please
I wish I could play this game but still in the legal system. Can say:
FW ran off to Thailand and thinks that he is going to get away with not complying with our court order. He is in for a rude awakening!!! My Thai lawyer says that I have the X by the cojones!
Lovely international news. It’s nice to hear about entire countries refusing to enable deadbeats.
Thailand has mistress laws (evil laughing). Really having to channel Mr. CL’s “if it feels good, don’t do it.”
Bridges of Madison County. Just read about how it is not about the actual affair but about longing……..yeah right. The Esther Perel BS about exuberant defiance.
Clint Eastwood is reportedly a repeat batterer. I get the feeling that whitewashing adultery is sort of the “softsell” for domestic violence.
I’m deleting the Trump/Biden thread.
You done right. Politics is toxic.
And so is being a FW, regardless of your chosen profession. Hence why it’s so hard to be a Chump when even CN we can’t agree on the ground rules of who a Turd is.
But I agree with CL in deleting the stream.
Thank you!!!!!
FW name is convicted murder Chris Dawson the podcast name is “the teacher’s pet”. It’s Australian story of teacher FW hooks up with willing schmoopie student, kills wife, moves schmoopie in (teen wears wife’s old things) gets away with it for years, finally in prison, now trying to build case against schmoopie.
Footnote: FW and schmoopie’s “relationship” didn’t last. She is now “happily” married with kids and distressed this has come up, saying (through lawyers) this has nothing to do with her. Looks like Dawson’s twin either played a part in the chump murder or knows more than he is saying.
PS..the voice over was unique and stirring to my soul. It matches how I feel. And i appreciate so much ,Tracy, your humor, witt, untiring devotional to people like me who used to be a wet noodle but now I’m strong and unbreakable. I can barely stand my whimpiness looking back now in all my years of marriage..a people pleaser until I could not take it anymore. This site reminds me every day to
Forgive myself and give
myself grace. I know now that these cheaters have a playbook and they thumb through the chapters that apply. I was sure my first heart break was original, but my second cheater had the same lines. Our first counselor wanted to work on our trauma, the second counselor said, GET OUT NOW. I listened. But Tracy supports me every day when I feel alone and people are tired of me…I don’t get tired of the snark and ribald common sense. It feeds me and heals me. A closing Friday thought. Thank you Tracy, for holding my hand the whole year of divorce and now weeks after. I would not be as far along in my journey without CL.CN too, weighs into the equation. Thank you one and all