The Doug Emhoff Cheater Revelation
Well, this is gross: Doug Emhoff (Vice President Kamala Harris’s husband) reportedly was a cheater in his first marriage. And a bunch of you are sending me news articles about this. Let’s discuss.
Doug Emhoff, Depressing, Banal Cheater?
Let’s not, Tracy. This is my safe space. Keep politics out of here!
I’m sorry. We must. If you can’t bear it, skip today and stare instead at this adorable picture of Monty, our golden retriever.
Tracy, I don’t want to know your political views! I imagine you are a social conservative, God-fearing, trade unionist, Antifa, free-market Methodist with unruly hair. LIKE ME.
I have unruly hair.
Look, one of the things I love about Chump Nation is that I have no idea what any of you look like or where you come from or what political party you vote for. We’re just united in agreement that cheaters suck and the victim-blaming narrative surrounding infidelity must change.
This is our common ground.
We have more that unites us than divides us. And if it turns out that you hate my political views, (whatever you imagine they are), consider that I helped you in a dark time. Not bad for a Commie! And so did a bunch of other strangers, whose political views you are unaware of. Hurrah for basic human goodness!
When are we going to snark about Doug Emhoff?
Which part? His white tennis shoes or his bad dancing?
His wandering dick.
I’d tell his first wife to leave him. Oh, hey, she did. In 2009.
I’m late to the party. What’s going on here?
The British tabloid, The Daily Mail, broke a story that Doug Emhoff — husband of Vice President and the Democratic presidential nominee, Kamala Harris — cheated on his first wife Kerstin Emhoff. Allegedly, the affair partner was a teacher at their daughter’s school. (Teacher schtupping being a subset of cheater cliches, adjacent to secretary and babysitter fucking.) The OW reportedly got pregnant and had a miscarriage.
Emhoff doesn’t deny it.
“During my first marriage, Kerstin and I went through some tough times on account of my actions. I took responsibility, and in the years since, we worked through things as a family and have come out stronger on the other side,” Emhoff said in a statement provided exclusively to CNN.
The statement comes after the Daily Mail reported that Emhoff had a relationship with one of his then-young daughter’s teachers, which resulted in the end of his first marriage.
The relationship and the circumstances around it were known four years ago to Joe Biden’s vetting committee as Harris was herself going through the running mate process before being picked for the ticket, a person familiar with the conversations told CNN. The person also said that Emhoff had told Harris about the affair well before they got married.
The relationship ended years before Emhoff began dating Harris.
Not a deep vein of snark material here. Emhoff gets in front and takes responsibility for the marriage ending because of him. Taking the blame for the divorce makes him quite a rarity among cheaters, judging by a few bazillion stories here.
I deduct points, however, for “coming out stronger” as a family. That’s a toxic myth we can all do without. Cheating NEVER makes your marriage (or your current wife’s political campaign) stronger.
CBS reports that the affair happened after he and Kerstin Emhoff were separated. I’m skeptical of affair and separation timelines. If that’s true, however, I wouldn’t consider it cheating, especially if someone has filed divorce papers and they’re waiting for some state imposed deadline. So why not say so? Whatever the story, Kerstin seems to be gracious about the whole shit sandwich. The Daily Beast reports:
“Doug and I decided to end our marriage for a variety of reasons, many years ago. He is a great father to our kids, continues to be a great friend to me and I am really proud of the warm and supportive blended family Doug, Kamala, and I have built together,” she said.
Kerstin Emhoff
Well, okay then. And why wouldn’t Kerstin be grateful that her ex married Kamala — someone who is not the affair partner and good to her children? Much easier to coparent. I ick out at “great friends” with your ex, but most of us aren’t connected to two of the most politically powerful people in the world.
Whatever happened in Doug Emhoff’s first marriage doesn’t concern me, because Doug Emhoff is NOT RUNNING FOR OFFICE. What does piss me off, however, is:
Women paying the price for men’s wandering dicks.
Every stand-by-your-man political wife. Hillary Clinton staying with Bill Clinton, and having to carry the weight of his sexual misdeeds. A job she agreed to, of course. But she was damned for staying with him, damned for eating the shit sandwich, and — if she had left him — politically irrelevant. Kamala Harris now having to deal with Doug Emhoff’s cheater story just as her star is rising. So much wandering dick sabotage! Can we just keep wandering genitals out of the public sphere? It makes me think of this brilliant 2018 ad from Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel who promised voters she’d never show a penis on the job.
You know what Doug Emhoff’s first marriage says about Kamala Harris?
The dating pool sucks.
Someone as accomplished and beautiful as Kamala Harris still wound up with a second-hand cheater. We judge women’s choices, instead of looking at the quality of the applicant pool.
Is Kamala special enough to keep him faithful?
WRONG QUESTION. How about: Is Doug Emhoff humbled enough to have learned his lesson? Does he treat women better now? Would he want his daughter to marry someone unfaithful? I don’t believe in once a cheater, always a cheater. I do believe it destroys the relationship you cheated in. It ended his marriage.
Has he behaved better in his next marriage? I hope so. For the sake of our children and greater humanity, I hope all our cheaters change for the better. Odds are long, but they’re not zero. Maybe divorce is the consequence your FW needs to be a better person. Whatever you want to say about Emhoff, he appears supportive of his wife and unthreatened by her success.
What I absolutely do not understand about this Doug Emhoff cheater scandal is how anyone thinks this erases or is somehow equivalent to the manifest misogyny of Donald Trump and the GOP.
No! Not politics!
If wandering dicks offend you, you cannot possibly vote for Donald Trump.
He’s an adjudicated rapist, sexual predator, serial cheating, porn star paying, convicted felon, authoritarian wannabe. Who just thanked Vladimir Putin for releasing the hostages. I mean, I know we’re former Olympic level spacklers here, but supporting this clown takes a super-human level of cognitive dissonance.
But! But! Democrats!
The people trying to solve affordable housing, address climate change, and ensure reproductive freedoms? Those villians?
You might not agree with those objectives, but at least Democrats are the sane parents in the room. Look, my life’s work is getting people to leave narcissistic sociopaths!
Is Donald Trump a pathological narcissist? Let’s see …. pic.twitter.com/JohzwTEmKg
— George Conway (@gtconway3d) July 18, 2024
And don’t even start me on JD Vance.
Actually, CN, we need to talk about JD Vance.
The eyeliner?
Yes, WTF is that?
@thedailyshow Maybe it's the dark, black part of his soul, maybe it's Maybelline! #DailyShow #JDVance #DesiLydic ♬ original sound – The Daily Show
No, the whole women need to stay in violent marriages FOR THE CHILDREN. Says the guy whose grandmother lit his grandfather on fire. And how’d that work out for your family, JD? It fucked your mother up and she became a drug addict. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for staying together for the kids.
I’m not going to untangle JD’s skein. Perhaps rabid misogyny is a new persona he’s trying on like tech bro, or hillbilly. Tomorrow it will be cross-dressing Latvian. Whatever.
We need to vote for Kamala — a badass, competent woman married to a lesser man, as many badass competent women are.
And we need to sign up our kids, and register new voters, and show up at the polls. Too much is at stake this election. That’s why I’m breaking my usual silence on politics and urging you to vote blue up and down the ticket.
Ack! Politics! You’ve ruined this blog forever, Tracy!
I’m sorry to disappoint you. Stay home on Election Day, Trump chumps. That’ll show me.
Yes! Yes! Yes! To all of it. USA … Please vote blue. It matters.
Thank you CL ❤️🌈❤️
Thanks for addressing this issue. I read a post on my favorite lefty politics/law/current events blog yesterday, and it was all “haw-haw looky there” or something. I didn’t read too closely! But I’m mainly staying away for the time being. It was a safe space online for me, but not so much at the moment. Cheaters and their advocates really fucking wreck everything.
Oh, and super cute dog.
Hey, I’m a regular over there too! And it was a bit of a shock, after having spent time here, to be confronted with the attitude that cheating is no big deal and hey nobody’s perfect. I’m sorry for the reaction you got.
Soon or later, we must all dine at a banquet of consequences..Robert Louis Stevenson. It can never be hidden, infidelity always resurfaces and its corrosive, toxic tentacles destroy everybody in its trajectory.
It sure was! I haven’t read any comments–I thought there would be such ignorance that I just couldn’t cope, ahead of time. Anyway, I’m sure it’s not everyone.
Political aside- in some way the fact that he cheated is still out there in the public and he has to address it – may that be a warning to others. You will be haunted.
That’s the only part of this that’s digestible– the “cheaters beware” bit. Cheating or participating in it tends to follow people forever and then explode if they ever rise to prominence or power. Even if many of the Teflon sociopaths in politics and showbiz seem undaunted by the scrutiny, I think it gives most average people pause.
The first Monty picture is gorgeous.
The Daily Mail is so right wing my late aunt refused to read it.
Across the pond I rarely discuss Trump but he did not impress on the American Apprentice – came across as not very bright and deeply insecure.
Not wading into politics but do want to comment on Emhoff’s comment to the press:
“tough times on account of my actions. I took responsibility” just doesn’t do it for me.
There is zero remorse in that statement!
Actions? Responsibility?
Are those the words he would find acceptable if he was the one cheated on or if they were uttered by someone cheating on his daughter?
Call it what it is.
Cheating. Infidelity. Those words fit his actions.
Breaking my promises and vows. Broke trust. Remorse. Pain I caused. Address what you did and exactly what you’re taking responsibility for.
Be specific because words matter!
And his young child’s teacher. There aren’t enough strange women to choose from? I will bet he didn’t even think about how that would impact his daughters’ mental health. Having survived a work AP was awful enough. But to be a kid and learn your dad screwed your teacher? That’s a much higher level of mindfuck.
I’m sure I’m showing my age when I say I always hope that our leaders have integrity. I guess that’s too much to ask for.
And I do agree with Tracy that it doesn’t say much about the potential partner pool out there. All incredibly disappointing. This one has made me sad and angry all day.
Thank you!! I got stuck on “a great father to our daughter.” What?? Making an authority figure and role model in your young child’s life your AP??? How can you possibly in any way be a person who puts your child’s needs first. How great of a teacher do you think AP was, how focused on teaching and caring for his daughter, when she was going through a miscarriage she couldn’t talk to anyone about??
Well hopefully this is all a sideshow, he learned his lesson, and he doesn’t use the power and fame gained from Kamala’s position to level up his fuckwittery. I sure hope this asshat’s wandering dick doesn’t distract the (potential) first woman president from the very important job at hand.
Anyway I’d still rather vote for someone who voluntarily has a (maybe unicorn) fuckwit for a husband (which could describe a lot of us at different points in our lives) than a creepy doddering old man or a rapey narcissistic old man.
This 10000000 times. Yeah It brought up a lot for me about HIM not her. Hopefully, he is not smoke and mirrors.
Monty is adorable!
Everyone, check out the MSNBC video Tracy attached. Apparently Missouri actually passed a LAW that pregnant women can’t divorce their spouse, even if they are victims of domestic violence. No, they have to continue being a punching bag at least until the baby is born. For many women, this is exactly when the abuse, neglect, and cheating RAMPS UP. This is the direction the new GOP (Trump/Vance) wants to take us.
It’s so strange that, just as abortion bans are passed, MO passes a law that will increase a kind of involuntary abortion. For whatever reason, pregnancy has always been the highest risk time for domestic violence and murder. Pregnant women have a 16% greater chance of being murdered than non-pregnant women. In general, domestic violence kills more pregnant women each year than any other cause. Nearly 20% of women experience violence during pregnancy. Obviously fetuses of murdered women mostly die but sublethal domestic violence is also a leading cause of fetal death. Emotional abuse alone has a high association with fetal death and other poor pregnancy outcomes like low birth weight, premature birth and chronic health issues and disability in offspring.
Yayee for Tracy!!! Political persons need to be discussed!!! We are talking cheaters here and Emhoff is one. We will get to watch him unravel and be hunted if he cheats on Kamala!!! I hope he has changed but as we know, character is there and looking at woman as objects is something you don’t IMO outgrow. I don’t trust him or wife #1s opinion. Trumps first wife called him every week and slathered him with 👏 praise and advice. How much money was she getting and how do we know Emhoff didn’t charm his Chump as many cheaters are experts at that…just saying. I’m unaffiliated and love both side for many improvements yet hate both sides for much stupidity and putting our democracy at risk. But if you can’t trust a man to be alone with your daughter for 3 hours, you can’t trust him with the country. I’ll vote Monty for President!! At least you are assured of loyalty!
In direct proportion to the power and/or wealth someone wields, I tend not to trust the praise of the people around them whose personal success or notoriety depend on cuddling up to that power figure or to those close to that power figure.
By that token, I think the first few seasons of the series Succession did a great job of showing how families and sycophants tend to circle the wagons in rapt defense of powerful assholes even if, behind the scenes, they’re still eating mountains of shit from said powerful assholes– as long as that shit is served on silver platters.
Hell of a Chump. Indeed I must untangle my own skein. I lived in fear and cuddled up to both my gun weilding husband’s while they bullied me and used the pick me dance I did not know I was doing, to garner their favor and have me beg for their love. I was of use but not loved. I did not know this. I now feel like a fool and a coward as their masks were lifted and I could see the evil character inside the actors.i am working hard on my fawning, fear and failures so that never again will I beg to be loved. Now I know, before I was unaware. I don’t want to be a follower anymore, but look what it took to break me free. 2 cheaters in different life stages( new motherhood and retirement) and now wisdom comes. Our nation will choose and live with the outcomes, then we will learn. Maybe we will grow from this experience, maybe not
Good analogy. It seems like one big portion of the country is suffering from political Stockholm syndrome and votes in line with the individuals or communities who dominate them and the another big demographic internalized some abusive figure from childhood and picks their leaders on that model. The rest wearily vote according to specific issues or try to pick the lesser evil.
Hell of a Chump. Well said. I admit to being Swiss when it comes to politics. I don’t have a wish to be tortured by either side. This same decision kept me in an abusive situation for years, telling myself that manure tasted like cookies and cream. I think your analogy is spot on and both sides have fear factors and power factors. I love Tracy as she calls out those who wear cloaks to hide behind. Masks that cover their true selves. This is the most important task. Truth over lies. Does character matter?
Like the difference between a chump and a side piece, I think there’s a big difference between people who get entrapped and captor bonded within abusive relationships (fear factor) and those who are attracted to known thugs because they identify with and feel empowered by enabling and participating in cruelty.
🎯🎯🎯
if you can’t trust a man to be alone with your daughter for 3 hours, you can’t trust him with the country
👏👏👏
Among a multitude of comments and actions, Trump was caught on tape stating to Billy Bush of Access Hollywood, “I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait,” Trump said. “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
Trump supports political conservatives, including the religious conservatives who believe that women should be subordinate to male authority. If he helps more of these people get into office and governement positions, including appointments as judges, the impact on female chumps will be catastrophic. Consider the impact on any children in these divorces, including parenting time, child support and spousal support.
Dana Nessel’s campaign ad was to overcome naysayers who opposed a three-woman ticket for office. For centuries, we have had all-make tickets, and they were unquestioned. BTW, in 2013, New Hampshire became the first state to have an all-female Congressional delegation (Senators Jeanne Shaheen and Kelly Ayotte, and Representatives Ann McLane Kuster and Carol Shea-Porter.) Shaheen previously served three terms as NH governor.
There are some horrific female candidates and legislators. The issue isn;’t getting more women into office and on the bench, it’s getting decent people into those positions.
Trump, BTW, contstantly uses DARVO. It’s his MO.
There is a pattern for the right wing and Republicans that goes beyond Trump. When Geraldine Ferraro was a VP candidate in 1984 the Republicans attacked her husband. When Hillary Clinton was a presidential candidate in 2016 Trump and the Republicans attacked her husband. Now Kamala Harris is a presidential candidate and the Daily Mail, a right wing British tabloid is attacking her husband – which of course means we will soon be hearing from the sanctimonious people from Fox and Friends and then our always faithful American Republicans. The premise of this question is that if you are a three times married lying cheater who cheated when his 3rd wife was giving birth to his son, and you lost a jury trial where the jury and judge found you guilty of assaulting a woman who you thought in a deposition was your 2nd wife, and your biggest claim to fame is that rich white guys historically can assault women then that somehow makes you a good presidential candidate (????) This isn’t hypocrisy – this is who these people are!
Last I checked Kamala Harris’s husband is not running for office and won’t be a candidate on any ballot that I am going to be voting on. There is no tit-for-tat here. She is the candidate and she made a choice to be married to Doug.
Agree 100%
I’m all in for Kamala for two reasons. The first has to do with me and my brave new life. The second, of course, has to do with FW.
You see, I think that I played a little, tiny part in her elevation from VP to Presidential candidate.
The debate left me feeling rather “meh” about the whole thing. I wasn’t going to send Biden money the way that I did last time, but sure, I planned to schlep to the polls in November.
Then, Trump got shot in the head.
It became so very crystal clear that unless something happened that he’d win. Our principled, honest, but very human Roomba could not compete with a blood-streaked competitor, especially when Trump dared to offer something other than fear and hatred, something that looked a little, tiny bit like hope.
First Covid, then inflation, then housing prices, left the slumbering masses without air to breathe. I knew that we needed to wake up. I knew that we would wake for change, regardless of who offered it. We’d rise up for hope, no matter how false we know it to be.
That’s when I wrote my congressperson and my governor, Democrats both, and made a case for a change at the top of the ticket. I never received a response to these emails, but four days after I wrote them, Biden stepped down.
You’re welcome, Kamala.
The second has to do with FW.
FW loves Trump. Loves him.
All during the later part of 2020, FW tortured me with non-stop Fox news on our main TV, Trump signs, Trump hats, fake Trump money. The whole nine yards.
So, naturally, when FW’s dick decided to wander, I assumed that it would wander red.
Nope. Dicks be weird that way. FW fell ass over, well, ass for a very liberal person from a very liberal state. It probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference if Biden had stayed in the election, but Kamala? Well. That’s a whole different story.
Not only is the AP liberal. She’s also of Indian descent. The AP is all in for Kamala.
She’s also moving to our fair, red state, well before the election to live with FW, who last I knew, was all in for Trump.
A little, tiny part of me, the part which is not at meh, is gleeful about this.
I lie.
Maybe I’ll be able to see the fireworks from my house.
They’ll be magnificent.
CL recently had a podcast where she gave advice to sad sausage Matt who wanted to “make amends” with his chumped wife. CL’s advice was along the lines of follow court orders, be prompt, be courteous, pay what you are supposed to, be generous/let the chump have her way for a while, and stay the fuck out of the chump’s life. Oh yeah… and admit and own responsibility for the cheating being the reason the marriage broke up.
Ya know what? Maybe that is what Doug did. And maybe that’s why his ex says nice things. And yeah… he didn’t marry the AP. That didn’t hurt. Maybe he sat with the pain and found a way to not be so GD entitled. Rare? Yeah. Really fucking rare. Impossible? No, not at all. CL has always said she doesn’t believe once a cheater always a cheater but that most cheaters won’t use their God-given free will to change because cheating and entitlement get them all the cookies.
In spite of doing all the right things – assuming he did – Doug did not get a second chance from the chump.
Speaking of second chances, Trump had his 4 years. It was a dumpster fire. He doesn’t take responsibility for anything and he’s a many times over felon. He doesn’t deserve a second chance at tearing the country apart. I’ll be voting Kamala and volunteering to transport my elderly neighbors to the polls, also.
Spot on. The Trump/Vance ticket will do nothing good for any of us. This is too important to tip toe around politics. We got to talk about it. This is NOT a normal election. Things will not be ok enough. We cannot have Trump again. He TOLD EVERYONE he’s going to FIX having to vote again… i.e., hes going to make him self a dictator/king/god/whatever of America. We won’t get to vote again if he is elected.
I’m sad to learn the Kamala’s husband cheated on his first wife, and truly hope he is not cheating now. I’m not enlightened enough to hope that cheaters can learn… Which is at odds with my belief that we can call grow and change. I guess the millions of chances I gave the FW I was married too, has amended my belief to anyone can change except cheaters… I don’t know. I hope he really did change for her sake.
Okay, since the rock has been lifted I’m gonna step in here. I don’t know what you all know about Kamala Harris, but she is actually THE SAME KIND OF OF OTHER WOMAN that so many of the people here have been the victim of. INCLUDING ME. I worked in offices with women like Kamala who slept for years with her married boyfriend Willie Brown, who helped her into all kinds of offices that she did NOT deserve or earn, and gave her expensive gifts like Mercedes cars that his wife might have liked. I’ve seen women like this personally – I lost a job directly, something that would have changed my career to a woman like Kamala who was sleeping with her married boss (and this woman broke up his marriage and married him later, I saw what the wife went through as well) and he got her a major job that I was all set to start in. And then I went on a 3 week vacation and when I came back she was in the job. I have seen shit like this in other places and I would never ever ever under any fucking circumstances vote for someone like a Kamala.
As for Trump, I do not understand the hysteria about him, when he was POTUS, we had a good economy with jobs coming back to the US, with a reasonably secure border with actual applied policies instead of millions of illegals pouring across, I wasn’t paying 30-40% more for groceries and gas, we didn’t have wars breaking out because he tried to negotiate. I simply cannot understand the anti Trump stuff. I know he’s an asshole personally but he achieved and I want more of that. I want someone who knows how to RUN SOMETHING which Trump proved in his first term and I doubt Kamala could run the proverbial hot dog stand. May you all need to think about this differently in terms of practical benefits an actual manager can bring about.
Convicted felon and rapist is OK with you? Wow. Weird.
No, she wasn’t the other woman at all. A lot of things can be said about Willie Brown, but during the brief time he and Harris dated he was famously separated from his wife.
I simply don’t believe that you ‘can’t understand’ or ‘don’t understand’ why anyone is upset with Trump. All of the things you are describing as accomplishments are fiction – especially “knows how to RUN SOMETHING”, well, I guess that’s true if you mean “run into the ground”. He’s declared bankruptcy multiple times, his credit is so bad US banks won’t lend to him anymore, and he literally bankrupted a casino. You like that he’s a bully and you think he’ll make people you hate suffer. That’s all there is to it.
So you’re OK with the abolition of Roe v Wade?
Please do your homework. He did NOT achieve anything good for us regular people. He did a lot to reduce taxes for billionaires and reduce environmental protections. Don’t even get me started about Jan 6th or his ties to those who want to take away our reproductive rights. He is a convicted felon who belongs in prison.
I’m assuming your time at CN has been educational about things like gaslighting, lies, and image management. The next thing you should consider seriously asking yourself is whether the Right Wing media bubble is operating within the same manipulative frame work.
There is irrefutable data out there about this; but to believe it, you have to be willing to look at it. Remember, as impossible as it was to swallow, factual due diligence is what helped you break free from the lies and gaslighting in your former marriage.
Respectfully, I wish you would consider applying the same broad brush to other aspects of your life and be willing to look at it because doing so hasn’t served you wrong. And sadly, ‘wrong’ is the only word that can be legitimately applied to many of your claims if we are operating in factual due diligence.
You don’t “understand the hysteria” about a convicted felon? A guy who praises dictators, alienates our allies, and wants us out of NATO? Inflation was because of COVID, and the economy has surged under Biden. And inflation is now at 3% https://www.usinflationcalculator.com/inflation/current-inflation-rates/#google_vignette
I can’t argue when we cannot agree on basic facts, which is a problem in the divisive news world we live in. As for border security, the democrats agreed to a border deal which Trump KILLED because he wanted it as leverage in the election. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/republicans-kill-border-bill-sign-trumps-strength-mcconnells-waning-in-rcna137477#
omg
Agree.
I will vote on the economy and the border. Republicans can’t be too bad, Harris is changing most of her views to conservative views now. I guess she has seen the light. Who knows it might work for her, and if it does; I hope she doesn’t flip the switch back as soon as she is in office.
Most of our politicians are PIGS including Kamala Harris herself. I’m sorry if you like her and want to vote for her but there was more than Willie Brown (although that was enough). Trump cheated on his wife and got Maples pregnant, also, we could go down the list of absolutely sleazy assholes running this country or want to run it. Biden also cheated with Jill on her first husband Stephenson (sp?) and then persecuted him and his brother for years afterwards. The story about meeting on a blind date is a lie. This is not a political thing to me – look at Schwarznegger – repellent asshole. Politics is full of absolute disgusting assholes and I hate 95% of them and wish we had better representatives for ourselves and our children.
Two bad choices, but nothing changes the fact that those are the choices. Split basically 50/50. I didn’t get the person I wanted in the primary; but that is the choice. I vote on policy and I understand my priorities are not the same as others.
I don’t justify, nor does anyone I know justify behaviors. (on either side) Those are the choices. Or stay home and I am not morally or legally obligated to do that.
Yeah, Kamala was literally the other woman and Willie Brown was still married when they were together. As a chump, I’ll never vote for an OW (a proven lair and a cheat). The fact that this has been glossed over by the press and democrats is pretty gross, IMO. Neither Harris nor Trump has earned my vote.
Kamala was never “literally the other woman”. Brown was legally separated from his wife. They dated briefly while she was getting introduced to the famously cutthroat SF political scene. Nobody is ‘glossing this over’ if you remember the last election, which was the same group of fanatics who had no problem with a literal porn model and OW First Lady but called Kamala a “ho”.
Not disputing the facts, but it bears to note that Mr. Brown had been legally separated from his wife for over a decade prior to ever meeting Kamala Harris. It’s not been ‘glossed over’ by either party; there is no “proven liar and cheat” in that scenario.
Sounds like something my ex-fw would say.
Oh my goodness, Mehitable, I understand what you’re getting at, but surely dismissing Kamala Harris as having “made her career on her back” is a bit reductive and sexist?
Not just a bit. Disgusting and sexist.
Chump Lady, would you say USA TODAY is disgusting and sexist? It seems your political bias might be getting in the way of your usual, hard-hitting analysis of character in these types of workplace situations. Here is the USA Today article text as mentioned above and it shows her intentions as a 29-year-old sleeping with her 60-year-old-married professional superior were not honorable.
“ Former S.F. Mayor Willie Brown writes about dating Kamala Harris, appointing her to posts
WILLIAM CUMMINGS | USA TODAY
Former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown addressed his past relationship with Sen. Kamala Harris in a letter to the San Francisco Chronicle on Saturday and acknowledged giving her appointments that furthered her career.
“Yes, we dated. It was more than 20 years ago,” wrote Brown, who said he had “been peppered with calls from the national media about my ‘relationship’ with Kamala Harris, particularly since it became obvious that she was going to run for president.”
Harris’ office did not immediately respond to USA TODAY’s request for comment on Brown’s letter to the Chronicle.
Brown was married at the time he and Harris dated, but – because he had been “estranged from his wife” Blanche Brown since 1981, according to People magazine –the relationship was not kept secret. A Sacramento Bee reporter told People that Brown “had a succession of girlfriends” and would “go to a party with his wife on one arm and his girlfriend on the other.”
A 1994 Los Angeles Times report about then-California Assembly Speaker Brown’s “rush to hand out patronage jobs” described Harris as Brown’s “frequent companion” and said several people referred to her as Brown’s girlfriend. That report also cited a column from the Chronicle’s Herb Caen that called Harris “the Speaker’s new steady.” When they met, she was 29 and Brown was 60.
According to Caen, the couple split up in 1995, which “flabbergasted” those “who found Kamala the perfect antidote to whatever playboy tendencies still reside in the mayor-elect’s jaunty persona.”
Although Brown supported Harris in her successful 2003 run for San Francisco district attorney, she tried to distance herself from him in that race, telling SF Weekly that Brown – whose career was dogged by corruption allegations – was an “albatross hanging around my neck.”
“His career is over; I will be alive and kicking for the next 40 years. I do not owe him a thing,” she told SF Weekly, vowing, “If there is corruption, it will be prosecuted.”
Among the issues that followed Harris from her time with Brown was the allegation of cronyism in his appointment of her to two well-paying posts.
“Yes, I may have influenced her career by appointing her to two state commissions when I was Assembly speaker,” Brown wrote Saturday. Brown was the speaker from 1980 to 1995, prior to his stint as San Francisco mayor.
Brown appointed Harris to the California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and then to the Medical Assistance Commission – positions that paid her more than $400,000 over five years, according to SF Weekly. Brown also gave Harris a BMW.
“And I certainly helped with her first race for district attorney in San Francisco,” he said in his Chronicle letter Saturday…”
Agree. Vile and unforgivable in my book.
Maybe she’s confusing Kamala with the former first lady, who was a porn model as well as a literal OW?
We justify all types of horrible behavior because we treat politics as a zero-sum game.
These are the kind of people who encourage the idea that adultery is okay. It’s the entire elite class – Repubs and Dems, Left and Right, all elitists who engage in disgusting behavior both with sex and money and they’re all PIGS.
Wait, Donald ‘Grab em by the pussy’ Trump (multiple bankruptcies, tax cheat, convicted felon, outrageous racist, and so much more) is good with you despite his many and public adulteries?
It’s a HUMAN problem. It’s not an “elitist” problem. That’s a loaded term. Cheating is a basic power dynamic.
I know this is sensitive, and divisive. I know there are a few folks on here who are socially-conservative and perhaps Christians, like me, as well as lots of all sorts of others. I have been listening to a podcast called ‘culture, faith and politics’ by a retired pastor called Kahnke on youtube, which is calm, sane and often funny in a quiet way. He’s not as funny as CL but neither is he ‘very lapsed’ as CL once described herself (I really liked free-market Methodist 🙂 ). He comes to the same conclusions about the upcoming elections as CL does above, but from a conservative angle. I have found it very helpful, so I leave it here in case that helps anyone else. The one on Herod isn’t a bad place to start.
Thank you so much for this info. My best friend, an evangelical, has been duped by Trump and I’m so saddened by it. I will find a way to gently pass this YouTube channel along to her.
I hope she finds some good in it. There are a lot of episodes there, and he is clearly making a (very systematic) attempt to talk about his problems with Trump, and the compromises which some Christians are making in the pursuit of power. Faced with a wall of such episodes, maybe someone in way deep might be a bit (!) put off – but hearing him, he’s really worth hearing. Maybe choose an episode you think she’ll cope with, and send a link to that one.
yikes
Yes. I agree 100%. Tracy, you saved my life when I was in my darkest days. I’m also a chump. a male, a firefighter, a democrat and Golden Retriever parent, so not exactly your target demographic. I will vote for Harris and care less about her husband. Thanks for putting this on your blog.
Hey, are you single now? You sound like MY target demographic!! hahahahahaha
Hey, are you single now? You sound like MY target demographic!! hahahahahah
Agree!
[Wild, raucous standing ovation] YES!!!!!!!!
And that Nessel ad was FABULOUS. Kinda makes me wish I could take a TARDIS to 2018 Michigan so I could vote for her too 😂
Bravo, Tracy.
Sorry, but for the first time since 1988, I will not vote for President. I will still be voting for Collin Allred against Ted Cruz. Yes, my non-vote may be a vote for Trump but perhaps he’s what the Democrat Party deserves for being assholes. I got cheated and Joe Biden got cheated. Fuck George Clooney and all Democrats who publicly blasted Uncle Joe instead of discussing it behind closed doors. I voted for Joe and my delegate handed my vote to Kamala without my input. Yes, Joe had a problem. My family has problems on occasion,but we don’t go publicly blasting one of our own. If Trump wins, perhaps it will be a wake up to all these assholes to handle problems differently in the future instead of fucking off the guy who got the ball rolling in this country. What a fucking disgrace how Joe Biden was treated. Pathetic. They deserve Donald Trump.
And the rest of us get to be collateral damage, but who cares about that, I guess?
ChumpLady, I’ve read through most of the comments and am gobsmacked at the revealing posts from those who STILL don’t accept that tRump is a convicted felon, in addition to all of the other horrible things he’s done. Please everyone, read Mary Trump’s book. He is a dangerous, unstable malignant narcissist. Sheesh, wasn’t it bad enough when he ridiculed a man who’s physically challenged? What about the facts surrounding his association with Russia to steal the election from Hillary? What about January 6? Tip of the iceberg. It makes me sad to see chumps defend him. SMH.
💯 spot on! I appreciate your willingness to tackle this, CL. Tracy for President!
I so appreciate this post. I am endlessly depressed by the sheer number of people who cheat. Perhaps the one truth we can all agree on is that the dating pool sucks.
My world started to unravel in 2015 and I worked really hard to protect myself and my three kids. The subsequent Trump win hit hard – almost creating a simultaneous PTSD – because Trump’s endless lying and narcissism mirrored my ex’s behavior. If I hear the words “best”, “worst”, or “witch hunt” one more time . . . he’s a con artist and I do not understand how people can fall for his lies.
The fact that a bipartisan border solution was killed – all because Trump wanted immigration to be a problem for the Dems in this election cycle – is disgusting. The fact that he lowered taxes for the rich, contrary to what he says, is appalling. And the insurrection? Beyond shocking. I hope that voters will dig a little deeper – beyond Fox News – to access actual facts and critical thinking. I can’t decide who is the most evil for being powerful and spreading lies – Trump or Murdoch.
Truth!
The Murdoch connection is weird – he runs Fox News, but in the UK (alongside all sorts of horrors past and present in the print media) he also runs (internet) Times Radio, which is…reviled by hard-right people I know as ‘something for the libs’. Times Radio is very small beer regarding listenership, but there was a recent episode where hosts Alistair Campbell (centre-left – Tony Blair’s comms director and famous in the UK) and Rory Stewart (centre-right – who not-so-nearly made a conservative PM 100x better than famous cheater Boris Johnson) interviewed Anthony Scaramucci (botoxed potential narc, but OK…) about Trump and the election. Another thing worth digging up – the podcast is called ‘The Rest Is Politics’ and I think there is a US edition which AS co-hosts.
Did you ever read or see a production of David Hare’s/Howard Brenton’s satire Pravda? I would have loved to see Anthony Hopkins playing the Murdoch-inspired role in the 1985 London production. At the time it seems like few understood how epically destructive Murdoch was but the playwrights were practically prescient.
As far as Murdoch and sons dabbling in “liberal” media like Vice, I think it’s old fashioned entryism to redirect or destroy. Most of these pseudo-liberal platforms are already so commercially compromised and mercenary that they seem pretty easy to capture and it barely takes any meddling to steer them to the radical right. I think it goes back to Plato’s argument that the fastest way to close down an open society is to start lulling the “humanitarian element” to support piecemeal authoritarian policies (usually on the hook of “science” which, apparently, has always been blinding catnip for progressives). Vice seemed to specialize in cashing in shallow libby lip service to climate change, feminism and LGBT content in order to promote “scientism” and I’m glad it tanked.
Anyway, so far only the play has managed to really capture the apocalyptic gravity of what Murdoch has done. Even the series Succession shied away from this.
1) I love Monty.
2) I do think it’s possible for people to never offend again after committing an offense, but if I ever date again, I’m too badly burned and scarred to consider dating someone who has cheating in their past.
I always wanted Colin Powell to run for president. I think he said he and his wife decided against it?
It does chap my hide when the same people who dismiss and minimize and normalize cheating get all shouty and outraged and finger-pointy about it during election years. I try to imagine the rhetoric had Barack Obama been a cheater with a quiver of cheated-on former wives, numerous children by different mothers, bragged about grabbing women by their genitals, and paid off a porn star.
It’s funny to me because my kids, who are far to the left of me, dislike Kamala for her record as a prosecutor too. But they’re still going to vote for her as, you know, not a senile fascist.
Monty is adorable.
I will vote Republican.
To quote a South American cab driver, “Ningún político es un santo.” I don’t think anyone rises to significant power in the current “corporate duopoly” other than Teflon sociopaths. Especially since the Citizen’s United ruling, both parties are so far up the ass of global corporations that there are times I can barely tell the difference. But I can still recognize that open neoliberal fascism is even worse for the planet and humanity than the Dem’s hypocritical form. I wasn’t a big fan of Al Gore but suspect that, at the very least, 700K-1.4m dead Iraqis would have preferred him to Bush and Cheney.
Last Comment….and Veterans are not Suckers and Losers…I will vote Democrat.
Hey lovely American people! I’m British but have been watching American politics closely for decades. I am personally appalled by the racist, misogynistic lying lies that come out of Trump’s mouth. He is so very dangerous to your democracy and by extension ours. The unholy alliance between the GOP and the evangelical/fundamental wing of the Christian Church beggars belief. The undoing of Roe v Wade is beyond appalling. I could go on.
I’m not saying things here are great. They really aren’t. We too are seeing a resurgence of extreme right wing insanity and most recently violence. To counter this we need to strengthen civic society through reducing wealth disparities and providing more support to the most vulnerable of our fellow citizens. Historically fascism emerges from the failures of capitalism.
Mussolini said fascism is when you “can’t slip a cigarette paper between corporations and government.” With or without Trump, that’s what’s happening in the US and, sadly, also in the UK and elsewhere.
Blatantly anti-democratic figures like Trump might only speed the process. I think the real harbinger of this is neoliberalization driven by the “free market” cult (small hint: Milton Friedman was a big supporter of Pinochet). But this trend is even overtaking Scandinavian countries (especially grabbing hold of healthcare systems like in the UK in the tried and true “defund/defame/privatize” process used to privatize everything) so it can be misleading to think this only happens under a fascist banner.
For that matter, the Soviet Union wasn’t much different since it practiced a form of state capitalism which is partly what necessitated the term “totalitarianism” to encompass the whole spectrum of modern authoritarianism. Whether initially presented as left or right, totalitarian rule always comes full circle.
I haven’t read the book Autocracy, Inc. yet but I’m hoping the author stresses the above point since the title mirrors Sheldon Wolin’s earlier Democracy, Inc., which includes the totalitarian theme.
Totally agree
But don’t you wish you didn’t? Bleah, it’s all so bleak.
That’s why I’m an activist
Same here. Mostly eco and environmental health but those platforms cover the political spectrum (anyone who cares if their unborn children or grandchildren grow gills) and provide opportunity to weave in all sorts of relevant warnings about neoliberalism. It’s the only way I can sleep at night and beats pills.
Thank you, Tracy. Your decision to write about the impact of infidelity on our political conversation is appropriate. Your decision to respond to comments which are misogynistic or uniformed is also appropriate.
The previous infidelity of a candidate’s spouse is unlikely to impact the election outcome. We should, however, welcome the necessary scrutiny of weakness or vulnerabilities which could unduly influence a president.
The GOP’s current nominee believes he is above the law and common decency. He is surrounded by powerful people who excuse his language as hyperbole.
I know better BECAUSE I was a chump.
I so don’t need (an in-the-closet gay with a heavy beard) man telling me what to do with my body. I’m surprised that no one seems to be addressing what a hypocrite and phony this poser is. It is soo obvious.
Before I even knew anything at all about Vance he gave me a major closet-case vibe. His weird obsession with the idea that having children is a so important for everyone, so necessary to keep people from becoming sociopaths, strikes me as coming from a person who doth protest too much and needs to convince himself that he shouldn’t regret his life choices. Add in the gay billionaire tech bro political patron, having confessed to thinking he was gay as a child (did anyone ask?), the religious/spiritual mentor who is equally obsessed with marriage and children but is oddly silent about his own, plus the eyeliner . . . I would say it all fits a pattern I’ve seen before.
Love the article and I’m still in awe of the doggy pics. I love cats, but I really love dogs.
As JD Vance remarked, “I have nothing against cats.” In a different context.
Ok, this pales in comparison to what we know about Trump’s sexual pursuits, though. And Trump is a crook businessman, to top it off. I truly cannot stand him.
Back in the day, I worked in a government position where I had access to an older political consultant who worked on certain issues for me on Capitol Hill. She billed by the hour under a larger support contract, and she knew how to get certain information to the right people and float certain ideas for feedback before I went through official channels. At times, I’d take her to lunch just to understand better how things got done and because she was such a fascinating person. She certainly confirmed that BOTH sides are “swampy” and lacking morality behind the scenes, both in and out of work. So it still is.
At this point, I have pretty low expectations for people in general. Maybe that is part of getting older and having been through my mess.
I think JD Vance is a crazy-bomb exploding in slow motion. The fact that he’s changed names, political positions and possibly even gender preference so radically over the years suggests there may be no “there” there. It smacks of someone who’s soul is so charred out that they can easily blow with whatever wind gets them the most kibble (i.e., a sociopath).
But as for his cosmetic habits, my late uncle and several men on my mom’s side of the family are/were blue-eyed Scandi blonds with lustrous black eyelashes. It’s a running joke that women in the family never get that trait. I didn’t but don’t mind because very few people with pale eyes can pull it off without looking William Kennedy-Smith-level l creepy. Or like that Nestlé fascist Peter Brabeck-Letmathe (who once said “water is a privilege, not a right”). Or Argentine junta apologist Federico “Freddie” Klein who was convicted for participation in the Jan. 6th riot. I’m sure not all pale eyed people with black eyelashes are freaks. My uncle wasn’t but it can look a bit too Anne Rice vampire or TV Nazi.
Canuck here, fervently hoping the felon and sexual aggressor does not get to further erode checks and balances on presidential power and nor get his opportunity to “have it fixed so good, you’re not gonna have to vote.”
A person I know who recently moved to Atlanta just posted about voter suppression in Georgia. According to her, they tell you to “register online” but then, when no email confirming her registration came, she went and investigated: in the small print, you learn you’re still supposed to print out the form you filled online and mail it in. To anyone who has to register, I’d suggest getting on that asap in case your state has added extra steps on the back end that might mean you not getting on the list.
Thank you for writing this. Being chumped raised my awareness of how much spackling I have done in my life. Or sticking my head in the sand. I can’t do that any more. I used to think that once people realized just how MUCH gaslighting there was in trump’s campaign, they would wake up to the harm and stop spackling but I was wrong. Rather than studying the issues and educating themselves, they are relying on “facts” told to them by a lying liar who lies and his supporters. “But our economy!” “But the hordes of illegals pouring over our borders!” But blah blah blah blah blah. The number of people coming across the border now is at a lower level than when trump was in office.
Trump was asked by the Associated Press to outline his plan to address economic issues. He hasn’t responded. He’s telling people that things will get better once he’s elected but he hasn’t put forth any plan to show that there is any action behind the words so that you can make an informed choice. How many of us were burned in our marriages with “trust me.”
I remember back when I wanted to believe so much that my FW was telling me the truth. It was a hard lesson to learn that pretty words mean nothing. What actions support those words? Trump wants you to vote for him because he can’t stand to lose. He will tell you what he thinks that you want to hear. He is not anyone who can respectfully agree to disagree. If you disagree with him he engages in bullying and belittling. Is that really the type of person we want as a leader? The playground bully? People questioned Joe Biden’s competence, but if you ever read a transcript of anything that Trump has said lately, none of it makes any sense. It’s all dangerous word salad. A man who idolizes Hannibal Lecter and real life totalitarian leaders?
Our country is changing whether we like it or not. To cling to the idea of the good old days, which really were only good old days for some people and not really good for a whole lotta others, isn’t going to serve. The tighter we try to cling to not changing, the harder and more painful it is to make the change. I want to live in a society which opens more doors to success to more people, not one which is trying to shove me and my daughter, and all of the other “scary” people into a corner and telling us how to behave.
Trump literally has no policy plan. It’s all catchphrases and hate. “I hate the same people you do! Vote for me!” But the people propping him up, they have a policy plan. Just not one they are willing to claim publicly. Anyone who thinks that the head writer of Project 2025 stepping down (i.e., being reassigned to somewhere equally dangerous but less visible) and Trump pretending not even to know what it is, means that it is going away is lying to themselves or straight up delusional. Project 2025 is wildly dangerous for women, families, and children. Basically, if you are not a powerful cis white man, say goodbye to your rights.
For anyone catching up with this dystopian psychosis, the Wiki article on Project 2025 covers some of the basics. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_2025
UX, I’m feeling a snarky parody riding from Vance’s stances. Damn it from the hitler transition to burning grandparents comes cat attacks and eyeliner cracks. You’ve got this Paul. We need to frolic through the mud with all the ammunition he gives effortlessly!
Until UX graces us with his ever-appreciated presence, how about a Charlene parody? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM-okx_yE2Q
Hey lady, you lady
Brainwashed by the liberal screed
You’re a discontented cat lady
Who’s never carried out a pregnancy
I’ve no doubt
You dream of your burning grandpa
But I wish someone
Had a radical political conversion
Like you wanna have with me
Ooh, I’ve been to DC and Appalachia
And anywhere I could flee
Took the hand of a preacher man
And we plotted against LGBT
But my political deference and sexual preference
Aren’t set because I need to be free
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to the vice presidency…
That’s awesome! I was thinking one to the tune of Fool On The Hill.
That would be hilarious– Fool on the Hill is lugubrious like Vance’s hillbilly saga and the rhyme scheme isn’t as bizarre as the Charlene song. 😀
CL, you are wrong in your choice of candidate.
And so is everyone else that has posted here today!! None of them are the answer!
All the “truths” that we all are holding very tight death grips on, are not anywhere near the full truth we need to be able to grasp.
None of us have cornered the truth people. And if we think we have, we are as narcissistic as the abusers who blew up our lives that we post about every day!
I have five siblings ranging in age from 60-72. We have been super tight our entire lives, grew up in the same house our parents lived in for 50 years.
If I had to pick an immovable truth in my own life, it would be the strength of the bond with my three kids and also the bond I have with my siblings, it is unbreakable in my eyes by anything at all.
My kids and I are on the same page polically( were not always but are now) But among my siblings, three of us are immovable Democrats and three are immovable Republicans.
We are literally unable to bring up politics together without my sister immediately and frantically running from the room saying as she leaves that she will NOT talk about this with us!!
It’s the most absurd thing on earth to me that we just can’t discuss it calmly and try to see what the other side sees. We all feel like we really really want to understand how each other could possibly take the view we take.
No, that ship has sailed a few elections ago. It’s incredulous to me how strongly everyone holds their ground, even in my very tight family!
So it deeply frightens me that it is really not a fixable issue and I don’t see the way out.
Maybe it we get thrown into WW3, a scarily evolving possibility, and are actually freakin nuked, we will have no choice but to pull together to some degree and try to survive as a country?! I thought Covid was going to be our reset, but it’s even more divisive since that hit.
Short of a cataclysmic sized event, a meteor hits and we near extinction like the dinosaurs, I don’t hold out hope for the parties EVER getting along. It is totally beyond crazy to me!!!
The corruption is too deep, it’s grown to a malignancy now. You can’t trust the government, the health institutes, the corrupt media, the nefarious agendas of the damaged people, the ‘all about me’ delusions, trust has been shot to hell.
We all look at our own news sources that we are absolutely positive are spot on as to what is happening and seem so logical to us, but they are diametrically opposed to the other side.
The truth is impossible to uncover, though we are all sooo convinced we see it and throw it in other people’s faces.
We are all being conned and we don’t even know the origins of the con!
My gut senses there is an unknown dark evil that is unraveling us controversy by controversy and we are too wrapped up in our own slants of what is happening and whose fault it is, that we are unable to know any truth at all. We have all been blinded by this.
I think we are too scared to stop the unraveling and maybe look from another angle. The fear won’t let us make ground concessions on any level, we all sense the dangerous situation we are in as a nation and we are locked in DEFCON four.
We are willing to take our own “truths” to our graves and the actual reality of it is NO ONE SEES THE FULL TRUTH!!! NOT ANYONE!!!
And if we don’t find the root of the evil takedown of everything we all hold dear, I fear the demise of yet another super power in the history of this planet. I think we are at a transition and we all sense it and are locked in the panic, it is super real and so scary to watch in complete disbelief of what we are actually seeing.
I think that’s why the escalation of emotions are soooo off the charts high right now, we all feel the critical nature of the problem and don’t seem able to stop the train from sliding off the track.
Whichever party gets in the White House is going to spend their four year term not protecting a nation we love, but finding how to screw over the other party, even when it also means their own demise.
What a tragedy we are living in right now, it’s surreal times!
We are caught in a very bad spiral, the exit isn’t giving the Democrats four more years to add to the level of the horrific situations Biden already has put us in, but neither is it put Trump back in, who is despised to the point of assassination attempts by roughly 50% of the country. There are no good choices!!!
Kamala is NOT your savior Democrats! And Trump isn’t yours Republicans!
We all have to search with all our mights to find any glimmer of middle ground that might pop up and stop the hate slinging both ways.
Reading these posts today made me feel so emotional and defensive and just annoyed it’s not possible to have your opponents see your view or you see theirs in any way at all it seems. It feels so helpless.
It’s like our country became two gangs and we are trying to take each other out constantly and because of that there are no decent playgrounds for anyone, no places of peace like parks for communities to enjoy, only raging knife fights that do no one any good and take us all from actually living our very short lives to the fullest.
It’s pretty damn dark and sad and we all contribute to it.
I wonder what the evil actually is that is trying to take us down? Has our hatred for each other birthed it or was it already there growing?
I’m wondering if we will ever fully know,but whatever it is, it’s real.
Been praying everyday for my 9 year old nephew with leukemia and I’m going to include the survival of our country in those prayers.
Pray for peace people, we are at treacherous crossroads right now. We have to look to douse the fire instead of continually adding our own logs to it, any little way we can. Infighting will not save us. I don’t want to argue with any of you over politics, I just want us all to be able to be okay.
Respect for this post. We have answers in history and in scripture. I read (actually couldn’t finish) the trilogy by dikotter including ‘tragedy of liberation ‘ and these sentiments were expressed by those caught in it . They felt that people they used to know had become literally bewitched with new ideas unheard of just a generation ago.
Also, I grew up in a 3rd world country that experienced very similar to what’s in the west today. We laughed and cried, worked and prayed our way through it. Don’t fear. Just live.
Feel I have to comment on this one: who is despised to the point of assassination attempts by roughly 50% of the country.“
Absolutely not. I loathe Trump but only want to see him beaten at the ballot box. 50% of the country do not want him assassinated, did I read that wrong?
I’m not a registered anything and I’ve not been active in politics, other than voting. I too have experienced divisiveness with my best friend (fortunately, we’re willing to listen to each other).
The reason I care so deeply this time around is that things have changed (or perhaps, have become transparent). I sincerely hope the ship can be righted – maybe not – but I’m not going to give up hope.
I am no rally attending citizen. I get my thrills from football and soccer, not politics. But when the trajectory of peace and stability and common sense and ethics are at risk, I am relieved that there is an alternative to Trump. I greatly admire Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger for making their ethics and morals more important than their politics. I look at the unusually large number of people – former Republicans, former Trump administration – who are actively warning what a second Trump presidency would look like, and I appreciate their willingness to take a stand.
The Emhoff cheating is one more story that adds to my disillusionment of human character and morals. I am no banner-waving fan of Harris . . . my banners are saved for sports. But I will be happy to mail in my ballot and take a small step toward retaining a world of peace.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is, please don’t assume that the relief many people feel for a Harris/? ticket does not mean that they’re hoodwinked into thinking she’s some kind of savior.
The truth is impossible to uncover, though we are all sooo convinced we see it and throw it in other people’s faces.
“We are all being conned and we don’t even know the origins of the con!”
I’ve lost three good friends friends, one a chump because there are limitations to how far the goal posts have been stretched. My chump friend threatens me there’s going to be a civil war a few years ago. All those innocent dead children of sandy hook were actors. It sickens me enough to deal with the brainwashing but the indoctrination has a life if it’s own. White supremacy has been underground for quite a while and it’s reared it’s ugly head spewing hatred.
Another friend who works in a school full of illegals for decades blamed them for all her investments lost. I reminder her if they were reported she wouldn’t have had a job. Another had no issue licking kids up in cages
Departing from today’s topic, I just want to say that I’m at the 2 year anniversary of my D-day, and I am still hurting real bad. I miss him, I love him (I don’t understand why I think I do) and I’m devastated, I’m heartbroken, I’m angry, I’m depressed and I’m fearful of men and fearful of dating and don’t trust anyone. I am dealing with real PtSD and am doing all the self care and “self work” (things to help me develop as a person, to encourage and empower myself) and I’m just trying to survive. Yes I’ve been following the politics situation for 45 years and have my own (atypical) opinion, but I am hurting from betrayal trauma and hoping to heal so I can “gain a life” and make the most of my remaining years. I have been helped greatly by this site and by the book LACGAL. I hope and pray that all my daughters do not experience the suffering of betrayal from infidelity or as I call it (I’m old), adultery.
Viktoria – Recovery takes years. It just does.
You can make each day less painful by creating a gratitude list and providing service to others. The roof doesn’t leak and there’s food in the pantry? Write it down. Share your time with shelter animals, cleaning streams or reading to children.
This healing attitude happens to inform my politics, as well. Look for the helpers and join them.
Viktoria, big hugs to you 💕
I’m two years out as well.
I adored/deeply loved FW 2, I would say that I had never loved someone in that way before. I had thought that we had a precious, deep, fully reciprocated, relationship…so it’s been very painful.
If you have loved deeply than I think that the feelings afterward ‘match’ in intensity, the sadness, searing pain, dismay, disbelief and anger.
Consider an approach where you can say to yourself, “I’m not going to fight the feelings of still loving him (and all the other feelings), I’ll let those feelings stay for as long as they want to stay, I won’t judge those feelings, and when they’re ready to leave, they’ll leave” (of course in the meantime all the self preservation rules apply: no contact, protect yourself, no wreckconciliation, no spackle, lawyer up etc).
I found the best way out of the pain that I could draw on was to think of it all as if someone who had been precious to me had literally died. (In fact cheating irrevocably murders an existing relationship)
It was a mourning. I would visualise myself casting a platform boat that his body was laying on, into the Ganges (not in a wishful thinking way, I mean as a visualised act of mourning 😊)
I would visualise that the platform boat was slowly pulling out away from me and I would say to myself, it’s over now, it’s done, it’s up to you and your God now and it’s up to me and my God now. It’s done.
I can’t explain why, but this helped me.
Now, ‘post mourning’, I don’t hate FW 2. So in that sense I do ‘love’ him, or at least love the child he once was, or even the man he could have been (but never was and I think never will be because he is too damaged).
I simultaneously feel meh. I think he is a disordered person. I think he murdered his own happiness. I certainly think it is over. I think that’s more tragic for him than it is for me.
Betrayal trauma is devastating and life changing. I can tell that I’ll never be the same person again. Not in a good or a bad way, just that it’s really altered the alchemy in me. Maybe the consequence of that will be wonderful? I don’t know yet.
So hugs as the feelings and intense pain ebb and flow through you. I’m sure everyone here has their arms around you. 💕
Thank you, very helpful. Copied, pasted, into my quotes journal.
Beautifully said, Learning. I also feel that the man I loved was killed by the man he really was, and although that doesn’t make a lot of sense, it comforts me. It feels true on a spiritual level.
Thank you CL. Vote for the prosecutor, not the felon. 🥥🌴💙
Loved reading this post & discussion in the comments!! …but also, can’t stop thinking about how adorable Monty is! We need a companion for our golden…do you share breeder information?
Hopefully Emhoff is a more loyal & honest man now. Disappointing to hear he wasn’t in the past. I tend to run in the middle of politics…a little to the right, a little to the left. Where is the middle party for people like me? There isn’t one…just two polarized parties & politics. It’s crazy on both sides.
Putting aside the politics (anyone can be a cheater), Doug Emhoff may present a more genteel face to the world than Trump and not be as much of a grandiose narcissist as Trump, but he’s still a cheater.
“During my first marriage, Kerstin and I went through some tough times on account of my actions. I took responsibility, and in the years since, we worked through things as a family and have come out stronger on the other side.”
I’m sorry, but this sounds like textbook cheater bullshit to me. He screwed the teacher and got her pregnant. She had a miscarriage (or so he says). It sounds like you’re giving him a lot more leeway than you would give anyone else. Saying that at least he got in front and took responsibility sounds like serious spackle and that you don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater. He’s not the one running for office. That’s true. So why so much grace for this guy? Because at least his wife is not Trump? Because he’s out front and center shilling for reproductive rights (which under the circumstances seems utterly self-serving)? Because admitting that he’s a disgusting, cheating creep might call her judgement about life partners into question?
Politicians have been cheating on their spouses since forever. Bill Clinton was a sexual predator and feminists still voted for him. Hillary stayed married to him in order to build her own career. Clearly his sterling character wasn’t a consideration. When people are emotionally invested in some pet issue, they will come up with all kinds of justifications for a politician’s shit character provided he or she will promise them what they want.
Doug Emhoff doesn’t sound like a repentant cheater. There’s nothing remarkable about his admission of guilt. It’s the sort of bullshit people in power say when they know they’re going to have to appear remorseful in order to save face. Just vote as your conscience dictates and don’t try to spackle it.
“Once a cheater, aways a cheater!” ” trust that they suck!” “don’t spackle!” “cheating is abuse!” “cheaters are rapists / thieves/ narcissists!”*
*Unless they’re our political darlings, then of course it was a mistake, of course they’ve changed, your guy is worse, how dare you bring up the past?!
I never argue once a cheater always a cheater. I’ve never called cheating rape (I’ve seen other commentators here make that argument.) Doug Emhoff is not running for office. And if you care about demonstrated character — YES, Donald Trump is much worse.
If you are defending Donald Trump with bothsideserism — I’d say you have a huge blindspot for *your* political darling.
Exactly. ❤️
And vote for her. And for your daughters. 💙
I apologize if you took this as a direct jab against you CL. I meant the bulk and totality of the commenters on this topic who uphold and espouse these CN pillar ideas, but are making special exemptions; with claims like ‘doug has clearly changed, look at his mea culpas’ or ‘it’s not so bad coz Trump’s a felon’s etc. if you go to any urban barbershop and ask about Harris they’ll say she a *, coz folks out here feel they know how she got her start in politics. But they’ll still elect her over her opponent, coz they want to; and I support their freedom to choose.
It’s no moral stain on anyone to agree with say, economic policies of a cheater or work in a company owned by a cheater etc. It’s just life and we can both shun a cheater and work with or for one, just not date or befriend one or morally uphold them.
No need to downplay their cheaterness to support their work or cause. Similarly no need to holistically demonize a person based on their cheating, we can hate the sin and work with the sinner.
This mainly makes me sad not because Doug Emhoff cheated on his first wife and got his affair partner pregnant (!!), but because Kamala let that go and made him her partner anyway.
I still am going to vote for her, though.
I live in a purple county in a purple state. We won’t win all the hearts and minds but we can find something somewhere that we agree on.