The Universal Bullshit Translator has feasted on Elizabeth Gilbert bullshit (of Eat, Pray, Love fame) since the early days of this blog. Frankly, anyone who addresses their readers as “Dear Ones” deserves to have their prose shoved down a chipper shredder with a stick.
YOU DON’T KNOW ME, Elizabeth! ENOUGH WITH LOVEBOMBING!
(Says the woman who calls her readers “chumps.”)
Gilbert on her halcyon days as a serial heartbreaker cheater.
Gilbert on leaving her soul mate (ala the EPL franchise) for a woman.
Gilbert exhorting us all to forgive!
Anywho, I’m sure it will surprise none of you, who have followed Gilbert’s complicated love rhombus, that she’s found bliss. Again. And again, and again, and again… And no, it’s not an ashram you cannot afford, nor is it a bowl of beautiful, beautiful Napolese pasta.
Dear ones, it’s a man. From her instagram. (Where a rakish octogenarian appears to be nuzzling a toothy blonde.)
“Please meet my sweetheart, Mr. Simon MacArthur. He’s a photographer from the U.K. — a beautiful man who has been a friend of mine for years. (Even more touchingly, Simon was a beloved friend of Rayya’s for decades. They lived together in London over 30 years ago, and they adored each other forever like siblings. This, as you can imagine, means the world to me.).”
No one is ever less than beautiful. Nothing ever means less than the whole world to Elizabeth. And those in her circle ADORE each other. Heck, you yourself are dear to her.
Do you adore your children? With their sticky fingers and loose bowels? Do you fill with rapture at the very thought of them? No? Then you do not love as much and as deeply as Elizabeth Gilbert.
Stop being churlish, Tracy. Elizabeth wants to tell us about her beloved squish mallow, Simon.
“Of late, Simon and I have found our way to each other’s arms. And now here we are, and his heart has been such a warm place for me to land.
Hang on. I thought you landed in his arms. But it was in a puddle of hot organ meat instead? Eww.
I share this news publicly,
Of course you do. Have you considered skywriting? Maybe hacking a Western democracy? A troll farm propaganda campaign? Just some brand amplification suggestions, E.
despite the fact that our love story is so new and young and tender,
Unlike Simon the Pensioner, old and ropey and overcooked.
for a few reasons. For one thing, I just want to say: If you see me walking around with a tall handsome man on my arm, don’t be buggin’.
OMG, I am SO JEALOUS. Where’d you meet? PlentyOCadavers.com?
Oh, sorry, I think you meant I’m supposed to be scandalized that you like dick again. Oh, yes. Thanks for letting down the hairy-legged lesbian liberationist sisterhood. It’s always tragic when one leaves our ranks to suck the patriarchy. But we’ll rebuild. (sob)
Just know that your girl is happy, and following her heart.
Well, your happiness is the most important thing, Elizabeth.
But also this: I will always share anything personal about my life, if it could help someone else feel more normal about their life.
Your million dollar book deals and Italian palazzos make me feel much more normal about my life. Thank you.
SO…if you have lost a loved one to death, and you thought you’d never love again, but you are feeling a pull of attraction toward someone new, and you’re not sure if that’s OK? Let me normalize it for you. Let me say: It’s Ok.
Okay.
I’m glad we’re losing our loved ones to death now and now a nebulous ennui that compels one to journey to distant lands to find sexy gem merchants.
As break-up strategies go, death is ethical. I’ll give you that.
Your heart is a giant cathedral. Let it open. Let it love.
Are there organ fugues? Because I really enjoy a good organ fugue.
Do not let your gorgeous loyalty to the deceased stop you
Can my loyalty be anything less than gorgeous? What if it clangs around in my heart like a dull ache and wants to live in its pajamas?
from experiencing the marvels and terrors of your short, mortal, precious life.
My heart is Quasimodo and it lives in a terrible cathedral.
It’s OK to live, and to love. Or…if you are falling in love in middle age and it’s terrifying, because you feel just as dumb and crazy and excited and insecure as you did at 16? Well, let me normalize this for you. It’s OK. You will always feel 16 when you are falling in love.
I sincerely hope not. At 16 I was a virginal sack of self-loathing. I’ve made a lot of progress since 16, Elizabeth. You’re freaking me the fuck out.
If I should be as fortunate as you, to find an octogenarian love muppet (after my beloved has died of course, and I’m glistening with exquisite grief) — I should hope it feels mature. And safe. Like, we go pick out medical alert bracelets on the weekend and renew our AARP subscriptions.
Or…if you once loved a man,and then you loved a woman, and then you loved a man, and you’re wondering if that’s ok?
If you need tracking software to figure out your love life… maybe not so okay, Elizabeth.
Well, darling. Let me normalize THAT for you. It’s OK.
Everything is okay! I love how you don’t judge me Elizabeth. EVERY. FUCKING. THING. IS. ACCEPTABLE! Because… happiness!
Love who you love. It’s all OK,
IT’S ALL OKAY!
(What about all those other people you used to love?)
IT’S OKAY!
(Did they get fucked over?)
BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY! OKAY!
and it’s all impossible to control, and it’s all an adventure that I would not miss. That’s all I wanted to say. Onward, and I love you all.
LG.”
LG.”I wonder when someone’s impossible-to-control adventure runs you over like a mack track… would you be okay? Or is it onward to the next sparkly thing?
Adorbs. Kisses. Treacle pudding!
I love you ALL. Okay?
I remember reading her book. I was a new mom in the trenches and dealing with PPD on top of my normal depression. Everyone was raving about this book. I read it and I thought it was bullshit. What a prentious idiot this woman is. Thank you for continuing to call out cheaters. We need the snark to survive.
I read most of this book: woman is ambivalent about man who adores her, decides to find herself; goes to Italy (Fun); goes to India (interesting); goes to Bali and finds herself ambivalent to a man who adores her…
And then I threw the book across the room. I should have stopped at Italy. Because I think this author could actually have a meaningful relationship with a plate of pasta.
awesome
hilarious. i totally agree
I couldn’t agree more! This country is full of this nonsensical Babylonious (and babble on and on..) BULLSHIT!
People just can’t think for themselves these days period!
It’s why I registered as independent years ago – to piss off both parties! Like Affair Recovery- it’s a factory full of clusterfuck groups that just pat each other on the back and spend hours ‘helping’ the cheats ‘learn how they ‘strayed’! And not one of them will even acknowledge the simple fact that they were attracted to someone else and just liked fucking them! (If you write a negative they just won’t publish it). And the founder just makes boo-coo bucks for hosting the groups! At least Infidelity Help Group is fairly objective and are in reality (OBTW is Wayfarer our very own Tracy?)! People need to get a grasp of reality – that’s why Chump Lady is so popular – because it’s real!
Stop being sheeple!
Elizabeth Gilbert truly epitomizes narcissistic self indulgence. Does she really believe that anyone needs her to tell them what is okay and what is not? She is so far from normal, she can never “normalize” anything just by doing it and bragging about it.
And let’s not forget her announcement a couple of years ago bragging to the NYT about her serial non-monogamy of overlapping “relationships” in this article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/magazine/confessions-of-a-seduction-addict.html
“If the man was already involved in a committed relationship, I knew that I didn’t need to be prettier or better than his existing girlfriend; I just needed to be different. (The novel doesn’t always win out over the familiar, mind you, but it often does.) The trick was to study the other woman and to become her opposite, thereby positioning myself to this man as a sparkling alternative to his regular life.”
The mindset of many an OW for sure.
What the fuuuuuuuck.
What is terrifying to me is not that there are women out there like that (there are, we know there are) but that one can actually become rich writing about being a sociopathic bitch. Like there are women who openly admit this.
What’s terrifying to ME is that Gilbert apparently thought her article would go over well with the audience at the New York Times. All the comments there roast her (rightly so) as a sociopath.
People like her really live in a fantasy world and have no self-awareness. It’s shocking.
Yes!! I’m coming here to share the very same link!! She is awful, and I want to vomit when people post her quotes.
This is a fave of mine. It shows everything we need to know.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/magazine/confessions-of-a-seduction-addict.html
UGH!!! That is just nauseating!!! Gross
That is so dark, calculating, and evil. And that is exactly why I never pick me danced. I knew it just didn’t matter. No matter how wonderful I tried to be, it would not be enough.
Honestly, sometimes I think she has discovered some sort of secret. She seems so happy. Just like all the rest of the abandoners and APs. Carpe diem, live in the now … these are things I believe and her path seems to be in line with all that. BUT. What about being true to yourself? My best life is one where I am seen and loved for who I am, not for who I’m pretending to be. I would feel desperate with anxiety if I felt I was loved for things that weren’t really me. And it kind of begs the question … is there a core self under all that? If you had one, you couldn’t possibly sell it out like that.
Yeah, but if attention is your only currency and the thing that gets you out of bed in the morning, you don’t really care about the rest of it. As long as you have a source, you go with it. Makes life simple.
She’s happy when she’s on the high of the new thing. Then she’s not. I’ll bet she’s not a lot of fun in the devaluing stage.
Hence the copious amounts of attention whoring on social media and regular media. Idiots like this consistently seek ego kibbles from whoever the fuck gives her a second glance.
She might seem “happy”, but keep in mind you’re talking about a shallow leech with no morals, no values, no empathy, and no identity outside of what she can steal from other people. She literally survives by sucking other people dry. Of course she’s happy! She’s a narcissist who’s found fortune and fame. She has attention 24/7. Her life is a neverending buffet of kibbles!
But I think it’s important to look at your definition of “happy.” If you’re an attention addict, and you get attention 24/7, sure, you’re “happy.” Look at any addict when they get their fix. Drug addicts are thrilled when they’re shooting up, until they crash and they’re desperately searching for their next fix. I’ve known tons of addicts, and they loved their drugs, but none of them were happy.
And God forbid they don’t get their hit, their life falls apart. (Gilbert actually ran away to Italy and India for it, and she STILL wasn’t satisfied! She never did find her holy grail. 10 years later, she’s still desperately flitting from lover to lover and requires daily butt kissing from her social media following.)
Is that happiness? To a shallow person with no real identity of their own, I guess. But that’s an equally shallow definition of happiness.
The narcissist will never admit it to us, of course. But let’s be real, if these people were happy, they wouldn’t live their entire life as a parasite. Narcissists literally cannot survive without victims to hurt and mooch off of. They derive their pleasure and sense of power by hurting others. Many can’t even pay bills on their own. So victimizing others is quite literally how they survive. When the source of easy prey drys up, that’s when you see these predators have nervous breakdowns. Where would Gilbert be without an adoring audience who buys her books? She’d have to be working a regular job somewhere like the rest of us.
How does a predator like this survive? Impression management. They’re all smiles on social media, but that doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a picture, a single moment in time. Even pictures can be faked these days with filters. Social media doesn’t mean anything.
Is Gilbert happy in the way normal people would define it? Stability, growth, charity, deep and meaningful relationships with genuine people who’d take a bullet for us? No way. Because Gilbert doesn’t know how to provide those things to others. She clearly has no idea how to lead an honest life or form healthy relationships.
Happiness is relative. Shallow people will view it in equally shallow terms. So yes, I suppose in Gilbert’s little head, she’s happy. That doesn’t mean I envy her or her life.
I think you hit the nail (narcissist) on the head (shallow ego desperate for kibbles). What Gilbert exhibits seems to be an addictive behavior pattern. Makes me wonder if my cheating ex is the same way (she seemed to have used Eat, Prey, Love as her own personal playbook during our divorce). Regardless, this kind of behavior should not be rewarded or encouraged as “It’s all okay!” the way Gilbert does. It destroys too many lives and relationships among those of us who choose to struggle through the good AND hard times of committed relationships rather than cutting and running at the first sign of difficulty or boredom
Out of the mouth of sociopaths. She luuurves to compete, this one. You can just tell. Attention is her oxygen.
The paragraph you quoted was pivotal in my life when I read it, specifically because it made me internalize completely that his loss of interest in me was 100% not a reflection on me in any way. He was completely novelty-driven. Of all the things I could try to be in a failed attempt to be good enough, the one thing I would NEVER be to him again was new, and that was the only thing that would ever matter to him. There was nothing to do but remove him from my life.
Seeing the toxic narcissism of a person like Liz who preys on novelty addicts for a thrill (and shrugs off the harm it causes partners and families) laid bare like this brought it home for me that the people who think this way are living in a different mental universe than mine. I will never be able to conceive of the depth of conscious-less-ness in their souls. I will never understand what it is like to not care even a small amount about another’s real pain.
They are robots that are programmed to harm and painted to look happy. My best life occurs when I stay as far away from them as possible.
Beautifully put. And so sorry for what you’ve been through. But so glad you’ve realized it’s NOT you; it’s their addictive search for novelty and inability to ever ever grow old with someone who has committed them.
Yep, that’s predatory behavior right there.
Sure, the married man needs to say no to her, but she’s certainly on the search for the low-hanging fruit.
OMFGosh! I hate her.
What the actual fuck kind of thought patterning is this? it should be titled “How to Win the Pick Me Dance, an Other Strategies for Entrepenureal Narcissicsts”
I was given the book shortly after Dday. I enjoyed the adventure of it but also realized that there was very little substance. She sounds like people I know, everything is ok , don’t judge., blah, blah. I’m stuck in a divorce vortex, and nothing is ok. This was the best laugh in weeks and it feels good.. Thank you.
I’ve been here way too long, but this is why I read.
I’ve managed to miss her book and the movie. I count myself lucky.
Evil SIL gave me “The Bridges of Madison County” for my birthday years ago. Raved about it. Couldn’t say enough nice things about it (I didn’t know SIL was evil at that time).
Anyway, I hated it. Every. Single. Page. I kept going though because I believed that if there was a mountain of manure, there MUST be a pony too. Maybe there was a pony, but it was long dead. Probably composting in Mount Manure. I got rid of the book and I even told Evil SIL that I hated it and why. She looked shocked.
A few years ago I found out why she looked so shocked at my response. She had cheated on her husband, got herpes and gave it to him. They’re still married. My guess is that he figured he couldn’t do better wrapped up in a big steaming heap of Christian forgiveness shoved down his throat. She’s also very religious. Hardcore Christian.
*shudders*
That’s not Christian.
I went off on a pen pal who loved that book andsaid how wonderful it was when I was in the thick of the discard. She too was astounded over how much I hated it.
Now I’m reconsidering our friendship.
I don’t know that she didn’t embrace Christianity fervently after she hopped on the guy on the adjoining bar stool.
Anyway, religion appeals to cheaters who want to browbeat their partners into taking not telling them to get out. Too many chumps mistakenly believe that you have to forgive and keep them around. Or that you have to forgive at all.
I think arm-twisting someone into saying they forgive someone who harmed them is abusive. Doubling-down and insisting that they “can’t” toss them out or they’re even more in the wrong than the perpetrator if they do give them the heave-ho.
The Bible says clearly the one reason you can divorce your spouse is for infidelity. It is one of the 10 commandments after all. Forgiveness is a complex thing which I have struggled with. Right now I am in the camp that it is for my benefit to forgive meaning I unburden myself with the weight of betrayal and hatred of him. It’s a work in progress
Apparently many religious authorities prefer to be part of the RIC instead. The number of them who spout the, “what did YOU do to make them cheat?” is legion. Plus shoving forgiveness down chumps’ throats.
Yup that book made it seem acceptable to cheat on your family. It was just ‘one of those things.’
I don’t believe that dishonesty lives in a vacuum. I think that dishonest people are dishonest about many things, not just sex and monogamy.
I would have loved to see what the husband of Meryl Streep would have thought of his wife’s bumping uglies with the Clint Eastwoood character. But apparently if your spouse doesn’t know you have betrayed them it is ALL good.
Oh my gosh – I just googled it and the synopsis is so gaggy. Adultery always gets the glam treatment. It’s SICK!
No shitcupcake
When I hear “ hardcore Christian” wtf is coming to my mind.. you can not be hardcore Christian while cheating… you can’t even be Christian… or called yourself decent human being…
If you are hardcore Christian- you don’t cheat, lie etc.
If you do cheat and lie- you are a phony who uses the religion to excuse his/her shitty character
Luckily I am no longer subjected to her emails or presence. Apparently everything is heavily sprinkled with religious references, the glory of god, endless invitations to (their church), etc.
I chuckle about her hypocrisy now because I’m removed from it. It’s funny how many people she has annoyed through the years who have no idea what a HUGE hypocrite she is in her marriage.
For all I know, her husband “forgave” her but has been bludgeoning her with religion ever since. I admit that would amuse me in light of how she has treated and spoken of so many people since she hopped off strange dick.
Elizabeth Gilbert is the kind of comfortably well off, educated Wasp woman who makes my Asian and Indian friends Roll their eyes about “white girl antics,” before hastily reassuring me that I don’t qualify, in spite of my financially solid, British background. (I wonder at what point my people, once famous for their boring probity, switched to being known for moral relativism, exploring every religion except the one that into which they were born, and screaming while wearing pink kitty cat hats?). Oh, I also checked out simon’s bio; he sounds like a pretentious turd, too… at least that’s two pretentious turds keeping each other out of the dating pool.
Yep, she’s like Goopy (Gwyneth Paltrows) older sister. Or cousin, at least.
Ugh. Just ugh. Goopy.
I looked at her IG and threw up in my mouth a little. People who constantly post “inspirational” shit on their social media scream Borderline Personality Disorder to me.
Hahahaha! Yup. Very true. I see a lot of that on the dating sites as well, and it’s a bit of a red flag.
^^^ this. Exactly.
It’s more like: Barf, Curse, Ignore.
Puddle-deep narc-salad.
I see a parody!
Oh man, nothing like a good belly laugh first thing in the morning. My ex and all of my Switzerland friends are perfect EG wannabes. So superior, enlightened, and “spiritual”. ????
“Conscious Uncoupling” is easy for the avoidantly attached narcissist! The person who actually bonds, loves, and is broken by these imposters gets to look like the unevolved mess in these “New Agey” spiritual circles.
I love, love, love, this post. CL, you nailed this type. They are a dime a dozen, they’re just not all famous. My ex now has her job title posted on LinkedIn as “Charity Worker.” Communal narcissism much? They are laughable once you realize what you’re looking at.
EG wannabes!! Love it! now part of my list of insults
Ha Ha, I just read the title and put it back on the shelf. What a crock of shit.
Oh yes please remember Chump Nation. Love Never Dies!!
As told to me by the ex as some kind of panacea that meant that the family was breaking up but it didn’t all end there, slightly different approach to the patronising abusive emails he’s sending me less than a year on.
Love Never Dies – erm, yes I think you’ll find it does
It can sure as HELL be killed…
One sided love is always a death sentence.
That title could probably be edited to “Eat, Prey, Full Stop”.
Oops. Too many commas.
LOVE THIS!!!!!
Just reading about the book made me sick, I never bought it.
I don’t give out my money to support narcissism.
One of the vapid people at my last job read it, and spent the good proportion of our lunch break telling us about it.
My response was “I don’t subscribe to attention whoring bullshit where it teaches that you can throw someone under the bus if its not all about you.”
She proceeded to say “It’s not like that!” but my point had already been made.
This is the same woman who tried to convince me that 50 shades was nothing more than tripe which glorifies domestic violence under the guise of an S&M relationship, and that nothing matters more in the world than someone with money. Fuck that shit.
Er, she tried to say it was *not* tripe, I should say. I am the one who said it was domestic violence under the guise of an S&M relationship.
I tried reading 50 Shades and only got a few pages in. The heroine was as self-absorbed as Elizabeth Gilbert. I’m now suspicious of anyone who enjoys such narcissistic trash.
Thanks for this comment. LMAO I needed that.
And good on you for calling out EG’s narcissistic attention-whoring for what it is (and 50 Shades for the abusive relationship that it is!)
Yup, I knew she was full of shit when I attempted to read her EPL book years ago. After reading the part where she dumped her first husband for no apparent reason, I put it away. I can’t believe people still fall for her crap.
Dumped him? Cheated on him and discarded. Funny how that never gets mentioned in the book.
If cheating is ok, we should be perfectly comfortable saying that’s what we did, right?
Oh, but no, people might judge. Can’t have that. I guess the honesty will have to wait until nobody judges anymore.
Funny how the narcs w/the love rhomboids conflate judging someone because they love someone of their own gender, or someone much older, or love again after losing their beloved, w/lying, conniving and manipulation . How handy for them.
W/ JUDGING lying, conniving and manipulation….
Chumperchipcookie, I was going to say the same thing. This was all before I knew I was a chump. I got the book from the library and started reading it. I stopped reading it as soon as she discarded her husband for her “happiness” or whatever reason she said in the book. Pre-known chumpy me knew this was pure garbage way back in 2006. And I also tuned into Oprah’s show when she was a guest. I couldn’t stand Elizabeth!!! She seemed so fake and self-centered; it was hard to watch the show and I love Oprah!
Martha, I have to confess that when I was Oprah’s featured guest (April 15, 1992), the resulting strange people I never met insulting, judging, and criticizing me cured me of any desire for fame…..????
Moreover, my personal experience with Oprah deliberately provoking me to react (which I didn’t do…this was in her Jerry Springer days) left me with the culturally unpopular opinion of NOT liking her at all…
I’ve always found Oprah to be a a bit of a megalomaniac. Her magazine is named after herself and she puts her mug on the front cover every month, with just a few exceptions for guests. Oh,and her staff likes to low ball for any creative contribution (words and images). “So and so should be honored that their work is appearing in “Oprah” you know” Then you guys can pay for it !
The comedian Mo’Nnique has a video explaining how the big O completely threw her under the bus regarding Mo’s sexual abuse during childhood. I don’t get the sense that Oprah has really delved into her own trauma. Seems like there’s a lack of depth and authenticity despite her broadcasting the contrary.
She’s a narcissist.
I never cared for Oprah
This should be a check box on any dating site: Do you think EPL is bullshit? Y/N
I never ever got close to her book. That kind of crap never appealed to me at any time in my life, I never fell for her navel-gazing shit and similar trope. I stumbled across the first 4 minutes of the movie once, gagged, and turned the channel.
The ‘influencer culture’ is so full of these horrible people that it makes me worry for all of us.
Dear Lord she quotes Cheryl Strayed on her IG. That is another complete POS for you, and a liar to boot. Check out the ‘I Hate Cheryl Strayed’ blogspot for serious detail on the lie after lie after lie from her book.
These people are narcissistic trash.
Oh, no! Not Cheryl Strayed too?!! I actually really loved the book, Wild, as I have a dream of taking a really long hike someday. I’m afraid to go look at that blogspot now. 🙁
Don’t let that stop you– you can still take that really long hike (hint; she didn’t).
She is a cheater and a stupid and selfish little twit, but I repeat myself.
That’s hilarious ! Somebody created a blog to parse Strayed’s BS ?! Must be a cousin of Tracy’s
Thank you for the info on the “I Hate Cheryl Strayed” blog. The author has the gift of snark too! Very funny & entertaining! Thanks!
moi aussi. (likewise) I could never figure out what there was to admire in her.
Wait, I thought she was a lesbian? Missed this whole thing.
She goes wherever the wind blows her. Husband in Seattle dumped, she goes walkabout, falls for a South American, moves to Jersey, gets bored, becomes enamored of a dying lesbian and now she’s found a new flavor.
And if you are wondering whether it’s possible for a woman to be so utterly and passionately in love with their own reflection that she believes all the world thinks of her as “my girl”?
Let me normalize that for you. It’s possible. More possible than the rest of us would like to admit.
Girl=child
Really CL, really??? “the Pensioner, old and ropey and overcooked”. Doesn’t sound enticing at all. I hope there are old ropey and overcooked Pensioner-esses that will find this old dog (me) worthy of a relationship. Does AARP have a matchmaking blog? Hanging around the local nursing home trying to meet women hasn’t really worked for me. Do you think a Bingo parlor will work? Damn, I feel washed up and discarded at the curb. Ha, ha, ha. May you live to be 105.
I do love CL and CN most of the time, but today not so much.
For the record, I LOVE AARP. I’m a member. Per dating, they have a Date My Grandmother series https://www.aarp.org/home-family/dating/info-2019/date-my-grandma.html . I have nothing against older people (I am an older people) — was just pointing out the apparent age difference and snarking. The general message that everyone is worthy of love, I agree with. I just think the messenger is a bit suspect.
I’m personally very glad you pointed out the age difference as it is a relevant and common component of many problematic relationships. My ex (who was 5 years younger than me to be completely transparent) cheated on me with her boss — a married man with two kids who was 25 years her senior. She then literally Eat, Prey, Loved me — quit her job, left me and our dogs, and went to travel around the world, finally meeting and falling in love with another frivolous carefree “beautiful” traveler who was — SURPRISE!! — more than two decades her senior. I feel that this can’t just be a coincidence and I suspect some unresolved father issues (perhaps also in Gilbert’s case)
Hi RatinaCage3Times, if I could explain away CL’s description of Gilbert’s new love as an overcooked, ropey pensioner I would. It hit home and triggered something in you. However, as someone who is dating a man 8 years my senior, I can attest that there *are* OBVIOUSLY differences between him and the crushes of my youth. Many. Most of them GOOD. Is he a little paunchy? Yes. Bald? Also yes. Not in possession of all his natural teeth? Again, yes. Now on to the good differences! He’s unselfish, amazing in bed, caring, mature (usually), reliable, loving, and loyal. So instead of seeing CL’s description as unflattering to your whole demographic please take it as a slam of Gilbert’s specific man. Older guys can be hot and sexy! It’s Gilbert’s nattering on about hers that has CN throwing up in its collective mouth.
I frequently balk inside at the judgmental and insulting language around people’s appearances that can show up here — they are often describing me uncomfortably well in their anger, and it’s quite a bitter pill to feel so ugly and undesirable in their eyes.
I try to remember that they are venting anger and try to tough it out. But there are days for me, too, when I just stop reading so I won’t feel horribly demeaned all day.
It’s a public forum, so it’s diverse. We can’t all love it all. Tomorrow is generally a new day, so I just wait and return later. As long as it stays relatively infrequent, I will keep.doing so.
Cheaters seek out that ‘high’ repeatedly. They bank on chumps feeling less than. They devalue to the point of harming whomever they come in contact t with; it’s a repetitive cycle.
Admittedly, the Limited stated it was always for the THRILL of the chase. E states she feels like she’s 16 when she’s in LOVE. Yes, I’ve witnessed the excitement whenever he found someone. It takes over and nothing can interrupt the gleefulness.
I’m sincerely sorry it’s a trigger. I’ve developed broad shoulders after years of believing I wast good enough. What we CAN bank on is the fact we were always better.
To me E is no different than when she was cheating on her X, dating awoman or Hooking up with an 80-year-old man. Her instagram picture and history are a blantany need both visually and verbally to highlight and normalize her disorder. See, she’s OK.
You are beautiful by virtue that your genuine personality shines through any looks you might have. That in turn makes your outward appearance beautiful as well.
Cheaters are ugly on the inside and that makes them ugly on the outside, regardless of their actual physical appearance.
Right on. Love this. There is nothing uglier than deception and betrayal and nothing more beautiful than true trust.
It is farcical humour! Ms. Gilbert promotes every one of her loves in cheesy superlatives. There seems to be an endless parade of once in a life time ‘loves’ in her charmed world.
Someone gave the EPL book to me when it was first published. I found it nauseatingly self-aggrandizing, and that was before I understood narcissism.
However, it did serve one useful purpose in my life. If someone told me they adored the book, I could immediately say “Next!” in my head and exclude them from any possible consideration of friendshipe. Worked in reverse as well. A litmus test….
Applause.
I literally could not finish her book. I attempted it many times before finally saying fuck it and throwing it away! Now I see why I could subscribe to her brand of bullshit!
Ah EG, what a nauseating sack of crap she is…andd now teaching classes on facebook. I had them tagged as ‘why am I seeing this…abusive’.
My soon-to-be-legally divorced ex wife had the book and DVD at her house one night when I dropped off the kids. Think she even bought it…second hand store like herself after darling OM chose not to leave his wife!
I did everything I could to not mention the similarities between them both (biting tongue)….aka leaving a husband by cheating, earning a living by talking shite, going off to find herself as my estranged wife (strange alright). I drove away hoping to fuck it would encourage ex Misses Bannnerman to fuck off to India or Thailand (sans kids) and find herself….ideally in some tourist trap for months with diarrhea, flies, heat, street robbers and some crabs she picked up from some blonde beach bum alcoholic dream date….oh why oh why oh lord did you forsake me…(I would become religious!) And…I would have offered to pay for the flights!
Ha ha ha! Brilliant!
???? Don’t forget bedbugs. Bedbug bites all over her body and bedbugs hitching a ride home in her luggage.
Maybe she can travel with my ex husband, and they could exchange some uncurable communicable disease. No, wait, I’m pretty sure he did that with his boyfriend in Italy 2 years ago.
Yeah?
Well, I’ve discovered love feelings are not enough. I want love actions. Sucking it up, sticking around, being assertive and having healthy expectations. I don’t want nor need ♥️ Or ???? blown up my ass.
I just need to say this (having read the Instagram post)… methinks her vagina is a giant cathedral.
this made me giggle
Twiceachump gave a great tip in the forums this morning. When I narc uses the verbs love or care, just substitute “use”. That is what they really mean!
I love this! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Rat. I just turned 60, and while my face has changed, I feel like a million bucks. I don’t feel the least bit ropey or over cooked. I have earned every gray hair, and every line on my face, and I’m free to like myself in all my cat loving, yarn arts eccentricity. Think I’ll knit myself a red hat, and Dawn a purple moo-moo. ????
Yeah. I got dragged to The Bridges movie years ago by my best friend who thought I might garner some wisdom into my husband’s great love affair and his absolute nobility in giving up schmoopie for the sake of our marriage and family! Couldn’t I see how mature and self sacrificeing he was being, and how selfish and unfeeling I was. Made me want to throw myself off one of those bridges for effect, but I realized it was pointless. The water couldn’t possibly be deep enough to kill me, and I’d probably break a leg or something, and hobble around on crutches, while my friend, and every body else pointed at me and sighed, saying,’isn’t it a shame that her dear husband is saddled with the likes of her. She’s such a drama queen!” ????
I saw Bridges years before Dday with my Ex who loved it (another red flag missed).
The funny thing is that I felt the most for Meryl Streep’s farmer husband who while in the Army saved her from a warzone, brought her home and I’m sure suffered snide remarks about marrying the “Italian”, gave her a nice home, raised 2 kids with her all while working his butt off on a farm.
His reward is her griping, being ungrateful, banging an old hippie and only staying with her poor husband out of duty and knowing that the hippie’s ways will eventually lead to disaster.
Maybe my sub conscience was trying to warn me all of those years ago ….
“Banging am old hippie.” DYING. ????????????. You’re so right. That movie came out when I was 16 and I was like “wait….” even at that age.
My Mom loved it though and I remembered being weirded out about that at the time as she is a super cold person. Of course she played OW to my Dad’s first wife until I was 12….makes more sense looking back on it.
I was also really disturbed by that movie when I saw it many years ago now. I saw it with my ex and my grandfather. My grandfather hated it too but he and my grandmother were always faithful even after my grandmother died.
My bf’s narcissistic (and devout Cathoolic) monster of a mother loved “Bridges”. She also has a steady diet of Harlequin romance novels. Total dreck
I hope your ‘friend’s’ husband starts screwing an OW during their marriage some day very soon. See how she likes the knife in her stupid, naïve, idiot back.
So many horrible sick things are done in the name of ‘love’. Turns you off the very word.
Lucky for Lizzie that I can’t comment on her instagram pages.
The sad part of this is that it is so normalized that the cheating narcissist becomes the role model and the hero of the story. Society no longer understands why the spouse that was cheated on does not move on and live a grand life too. They have turned a blind eye to the fact that someone has to stay home and take care of the family, house and pets that just do not magically disappear and reappear when convenient. It is a crime to just live a authentic small life taking care of your corner of the world and being happy. Guess it does not look as good on social media…..
Yeah, no supply in that. Narcs must have their supply.
Every single time a starry eyed FB person posts a quote or a meme from this POS, I am compelled to respond briefly…”She’s a cheater, so nothing she says is worth shit.” I don’t find her to be a guru of self discovery. From Eat Pray Cheat to Eat Pray Gay, her entitlement and lack of empathy disgusts me.
I am so glad someone feels about her the same way I do. I tried twice to read her book and got so bogged down in that huge pile of shit I was standing in that I never finished it. Then I watched the movie. At the end the only question I had was, “What in the hell was that about?”.What kind of personality or delusion or whatever does she have?
The scenes in the movie were beautiful. They should have taken out the actors and done a travelogue.
“Let me normalize THAT for you.”
This says all I need to know about this woman’s perception of her importance in the world.
I’ve resolved not to share these publicly of late for reasons of personal growth, but Elizabeth Gilbert is a sociopathic scumbag, as is anyone who takes her seriously or models their own behavior on hers. The world is too full of people like her, Eating away the love, kindness and hope of others, Praying the residuals from her emotional terrorist manifestos keep rolling in, and Loving herself unjustly. She can eat an ice-cold bowl of severed, flaccid, homeless crackhead dicks.
Amen. I often wonder if disordered, selfish scum actually outnumber decent people. I fear that may be the case.
I have this thought on the daily. It seems so lopsided sometimes I really wish I could be an arsehole too, just because they seem to have Irvine so easy, what with the not caring about anyone but themselves. I just can’t do it.
I love you, CL. Do you laugh as hard as I do at what you create?
A million thank yous, OKAY?
ME, ME, ME, ME!! How my readers love ME!! And this old guy also loves ME!! Maybe he will leave me everything when he kicks off!!
I picture Elizabeth’s first husband, the one she discarded to find “happiness”, aka as “new boy toy”, as the meme of Michael Jackson eating popcorn. On the meme, Jackson is eating popcorn at a movie theater and he’s so engrossed in what he’s watching. Usually the meme says, “This is some good shit.” or “I just came here to read the comments.” I picture her first husband anonymously following her accounts and silently laughing to himself over her posts. She’s a trainwreck, but she doesn’t know it.
Hopefully he’s been at meh years ago and no longer follows what she’s up to. But maybe, just maybe, he reads everything she posts about all the other soulmates she’s had since she divorced him. Hopefully he trusts that she sucks!
Isn’t she the one who dumped her girlfriend/wife who used to be her forever BFF for this guy, and then her ex died a short time later?
And now she’s spinning it as “I found new love after my love died” and leaving out how they were already split up?
I’m not sure you get to play the widow when you cheated and left before they died…?
Oh, really!? I thought she was busy getting high on the fumes of being the long-suffering widow to be and widow and it would take some really rich pickings to entice her away from that.
I hear what you’re saying, but I believe that EG was with her ex Rayya (the one who had been her close friend for many years) until Rayya’s death – they didn’t break up first, though it’s possible they didn’t have a conventional monogamous relationship. I’ve heard EG’s account of Rayya’s death: sounds like both of them were pretty narcissistic, and it was an interesting (read: screwed-up) dynamic. [eyeroll] EG evidently respects/is attracted to other narcs.
And yes, EG’s going to remind her “dear ones” about her loss for some time, regardless of how things went down.
And there never was a movie where Julia Roberts was so unattractive. She was perfect for the character though. So miserable and self absorbed, then delighted and transfigured by superficial, expensive, sources of Narcissistic Supply.
I . Just.. Can’t. I had to stop was feeling quite nauseous.
Omg, I saw this this morning and thought of forwarding this to you after my eyes rolled back to the front of my head. I immediately thought of your posts on here. After reading this new post, her words just rub me the wrong way again for some reason. I am glad I wasn’t alone in my eye rolling. ????????
Bahahaha OMG Tracy, you’re on fire today! ???? The snark – love it! This woman and our dear Esther P both do my head in. I love how you tear them to shreds, every time. My god, I love you! Thanks for this read and laugh today xx
PlentyOCadavers.com for the win!! LMAO!
I think I’d prefer Andrew Gottlieb’s “Drink, Play, Fuck: One Man’s Search for Anything Across Ireland, Vegas and Thailand.“
I can no longer stand anything that tells me what to do—t shirts, jewelry, “art,” mugs, decorative garden rocks.
“Eat, Pray, Love” is a triple whammy. I never read it because the title was SO annoying. Now I see from CL’s wonderful snark that EG’s writing is ALL ABOUT telling other people what to do. As if she knows best. What a world-class flake.
You’re not the boss of me, Elizabeth Gilbert. Don’t tell me what to do!!
I bet her ex’s have *STORIES*.
Hahah. Yes. Let’s crowdsource a book for them to each write a chapter about what it’s like to be involved with a narcissist. Might solve as an education and warning to others “out there.”
⬆️ THIS ⬆️
Apparently her first husband is a prolific humanitarian and law scholar who’s now remarried to a diplomat.
It’s stunning how different Gilbert is from her ex. He dedicated his professional life to refugee efforts in developing countries. She cheated and dumped him so she could take a long vacation to “find herself” abroad and use developing countries as her own personal playground. Says it all, really.
I always have a problem with the idea that love is “impossible to control”. We are rationale human beings. We are capable of acting maturely. We have the capacity to alter our poor habits and behaviours. So, not being in control of love or “it couldn’t be helped” is an obvious sign of immaturity.
I know full well that it is possible to “control one’s love” and “help yourself when you’re in love.” After almost 15 years of loving a man who ultimately cheated on me and left me for another woman, I’ve had to learn to let that love go, turn it off, pack it away. I had to control it and I had to help myself because I couldn’t have him. FULL STOP!
Now I don’t want him anyways. Because I have found someone I love more and I want the best for that person and I want to defend that person and cherish that person…ME.
Funny, how that’s possible. So much for the claims of all these fuckwits and their affair partners who feel that they just couldn’t control themselves or that there love was meant to be.
I’m willing to concede that it may not be easy to control who you fall in love with, but you can damn sure control your actions and divorce before pursuing other women/men.
The womens a self absorbed tit !!! Good article
Last time I saw this much revilement of EPL it was on a red pill site. I’m sure the narcissist EG would be thrilled that such a broad range of people absolutely hate her guts, she is truly a piece of work.
Eat, pray, cheat
Fuck that bitch…..she sucks
Thank you, Chump Lady (Tracy). You killed it today! I needed it today as I am in the thick of creating what I hope to be empirically-based, comprehensible, useful, world-benefiting articles and products, ideally with some compensation to support my kids, left by their father who believed it was OK to ‘love whoever he wanted to love’ for years without keeping me, his wife, apprised of the situation, and then beating me up for not earning more money to support our kids while he takes the partner of the week on luxury vacations around the world. (How does Elizabeth feel about chumps and children going through that?) Maybe I’ve got it all wrong when it comes to business and writing–providing illogical, self-aggrandizing, promotion of unethical, cruel behavior sells. Wouldn’t be able to stand myself if I went down that path, though.
So funny today, CL!!!
Thanks for the laughs.
The humor helps – it’s easy to get down about how many fuckwits and nitwits are out there.
They’re everywhere! Like the title of George Simon’s book says
Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon Of Our Age
It’s true. There are a lot of nutballs who think like this self-centered, dopey EPL woman. Today’s take-down is terrific. Way to go Tracy!!
I dunno about anyone else but I don’t think of my heart as a cathedral. Cathedrals were built in the middle ages as massive monuments to religious piety and they were none too keen on sexual or romantic liberation, if I am correct on my history. …Which I am.
Nah if I think of my heart as a place with me in charge then I am a powerful witch queen who commands an army of alligators in my swamp and they feast on idiots who wander in with their overpriced pasta bowls and pithy self-help book deals.
????????????
“My heart is Quasimodo and it lives in a terrible cathedral.”
????????????
EG is a contributing writer for O Magazine. I don’t subscribe but in years past my mom sent me subscriptions as a gift. I’m baffled by Oprah’s love of EG. I wrote to the magazine and expressed my disapproval.
Because Oprah is a narcissist too.
How so? Sincere question. I’m unfamiliar with Oprah’s behavior.
Velvet Hammer above, was a guest on her show many years ago – and was deliberately provoked into doing things. It’s not the first time that I’ve heard it being said either.
Wow! Good to know.
I can tell just by the title that the book is pretentious, self-reverentional claptrap written by a poisonous narc. I didn’t read it or watch the film and I’d rather clean dingleberries off my dog’s butt than put up with even five minutes of such garbage.
Great takedown of this twit, CL.
The thoughts of a sociopath. Shiver. It was for an article that Elizabeth Gilbert wrote about herself for the NYT:
“You might have called me a serial monogamist, except that I was never exactly monogamous. Relationships overlapped, and those overlaps were always marked by exhausting theatricality: sobbing arguments, shaming confrontations, broken hearts. Still, I kept doing it. I couldn’t not do it.
I can’t say that I was always looking for a better man. I often traded good men for bad ones; character didn’t much matter to me. I wasn’t exactly seeking love, either, regardless of what I might have claimed. I can’t even say it was the sex. Sex was just the gateway drug for me, a portal to the much higher high I was really after, which was seduction.
Seduction is the art of coercing somebody to desire you, of orchestrating somebody else’s longings to suit your own hungry agenda. Seduction was never a casual sport for me; it was more like a heist, adrenalizing and urgent. I would plan the heist for months, scouting out the target, looking for unguarded entries. Then I would break into his deepest vault, steal all his emotional currency and spend it on myself.”
Narcissist. Sociopath. Scary Stalker. If a man had written the above about how he viewed women, people would be looking up his criminal records online (assuming he had them) and making memes to warn others all day.
Elizabeth Gilbert is telling everyone WHO she is and yet the general public doesn’t seem to recognize it. It’s a nightmare version of the “Emperor Has No Clothes.”
A female colleague gave me a copy of Eat, Pray, Love. It was funny once when she talked about the guy named,”Lucca Spaghetti.” Twice? Getting old. I am not going to count, but all I remember from the Italy part was her saying “Lucca Spaghetti” about a 100 times. The Ashram part: Groceries. The un-love part: The guy she un-loved said something about her having the vulnerability of a child during sex… or maybe she said it about herself. (Either way, NO words for that…) Oh and she thought it was cool because that guy she un-loved still kissed his adult son on the mouth. (Also no words). I gave the book back to the female colleague. Obviously I didn’t “get it” and still don’t. All I know is I do not want to meet her at a dinner party. But, I thankfully don’t travel in those circles.
PS- Chump Lady is NOT the sociopath, Liz Gilbert is the sociopath. Chump Lady’s article made me laugh really hard and I needed that.
That article is insane. I only knew about Gilbert and her book in passing, having never read her work before, but I’d heard about it because how could you not? Now I’m shocked anyone gives this woman credence. She sounds like a creep.
It’s almost like this clown wrote her book to justify her own affair.
And how she attention whores consistently on social media is also a means to, you guessed it, justify her affair.
There are children’s paddling pools with more depth than this fuckwit.
okay, sorry I can’t keep up with these people. I read Love Warriors and after I finished found out she left then divorced the guy before the book was published but didn’t want to say anything until the book sale began so the book would be about marriage and sell. Here is the quote from her website: “And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.” That is f*cking dishonest!!! What a creaton! How many people believed her crap? So when I see Glennon Doyle’s name I think fuckwit…
I am proud of the fact that I had never heard of Elizabeth Gilbert until today. With any luck I will forget who she is again until the next time her work goes through the UBT.
I like organ fugues too… a beautiful organ fugue from Cambridge Fugue in C minor BWV 575:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slgjVr97FLY
“Played on the Snetzler organ of 1755 in Clare college Chapel, Cambridge. This fugue is for manuals only until the final section. The Snetzler organ, in common with most organs in England from this period did not have pedals but a longer manual compass going to GG. The piece has therefore been adapted, playing mostly in octaves from the first pedal note and accompanying the final pedal solo (which is played in the left hand) with material derived from the fugue subject in the right hand to make a more complete musical texture. The chorus to Sesquialtera is heard throughout. This was part of the complete Bach organ works played in Cambridge by Anne Page during 2011/12”
All this time, all I needed was someone to NORMALIZE this whole fucking journey for Me. Viola! It’s OKAY!
I feel so much better now.
Thanks Easter Bunny!! ????????
Ugh this woman has all kinds of things wrong with her, I have a feeling she’s at least borderline. Also reminds me of tgat horrendous Julie Powell who wrote Julie Julia, which I quite liked only to find she had been fivking around behind the mice husbands back forever. These women gave blackholes for souls that could never suck enough attention into them ever and give white women a terrible reputation, mostly because so many women seem to buy their book and hold up their bullshit as some kind of enlightened ethos
Plus her kind husband asked her NOT to write about him anymore. So what does she do? Writes a second book about cheating on him.
I simply couldn’t look at it. i enjoyed the movie, wanted to read the book, but started searching for info on the author and that was that.
This is the article that prevented me from buying anything written by her EVER.
https://www.npr.org/2009/12/10/114431078/whats-wrong-with-julie-powells-cleaving
Am I the only one that hears the “Everything is Awesome” song in my head every time I read “It’s OK” and the end of each line of Gilbert’s nauseating statements? ????
She’s found yet another love. Gosh, didn’t Rayya pass away recently? Time moves quickly. Maybe I’m jealous. I want to drink the cool aide. Wouldn’t it be easier?
I don’t begrudge her happiness. I don’t begrudge anyone happiness. (Although, I wouldn’t mind seeing my STBX suffer at least a little – truth be told). She must have grieved for her loss and how lovely for her to love again.
Yes, I think I am jealous! I don’t think I will ever open myself up again to be vulnerable and to be blindsided, gutted and discarded. If I run a risk cost analysis, I can’t see the benefit of risking heartache and upheaval. I’m ready for a drama-free life. The story I tell myself is that a new partner will bring along his own baggage and I am SO done with someone else’s disorders and issues. I want to enjoy my children and friends and job. I know I can craft a great life without a parter.
Okay, that was a momentary lapse. I don’t want to actually drink the cool aide. I will continue to choose to be moral, thoughtful, loyal, a good role model to my children…and all of those wonderful things we Chumps do so well. And I’ll do it quietly, humbly, to please my self. Because, really, it feel so freaking great to do the right thing!
Crickets, I’m with you. I don’t think I will ever let a man get close again and for THAT I resent the hell out of my ex because I know damn well that not all men are violent, insane bastards! Shame really but I can’t see me ever taking on someone else’s baggage and yet I have so much to give. Funny story, the farmer that owns the fields at the back of my home asked me out two weeks ago!!! He doesn’t even know my name! I have known him (or at least who he is) for 30 years so I wasn’t afraid to have a coffee with him but told him just what I wrote above. “I’m happy on my own and not looking for anyone”. Isn’t that a sad state.
How about someone landing on Elizabeth. Sorry! ‘arms. How old is this girl who met that wonderful eightish boy?!
I love you CL, and I love CN and your snark is my daily bread but every so often there is a blog or a post and it appears to be in another language, and I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about! I’m British you see ????
I read the article on this. Then I read her Wikipedia bio where she basically says she robs people of their emotions and ‘spends it’ on herself. She says she’s addicted to the chase….
She isn’t hiding who she is. Just wow!
Her new book:
“Normalizing Gorgeous Adverbs While Eating In Cathedrals”
????
Is anyone going to mention the bit in EPL where she meditates on a roof in India and calls the soul of her ex-husband to join her in a dance and forgive her? His soul shows up. Not all of him, just his soul, and the best bit is that it’s totally his soul’s choice! His soul is totally into it.
I’m not going to go looking for a quote, but in essence she learns that everything that happened between them was just a bit of a silly lark, and that souls don’t care about stuff like that when they can dance together on top of an ashram.
If the UBT can cope, I’d love to see that passage decoded.