Most Audacious Lie?

Today’s Friday challenge is extra challenging — of all the lies your cheater told, what was the most audacious lie?

And I don’t mean the obvious, love and honor, “til death do us part” stuff. I mean the kind of disordered whopper that needs an avalanche of spackle and a Special DOJ Investigator. Audacious lies so outrageous only a chump would believe them. Examples include:

  • A fictitious twin brother
  • A hotel stay that included hand-holding and Bible verses
  • An overnight… in a car…. in February… in Vermont…  with no cell phone reception
  • A promotion/special honor/hereditary peerage that never existed
  • A kissing cousin
  • A lesbian who was very much NOT a lesbian
  • A child who looks nothing like you

People who love, trust.

People who trust, believe. If you’re completely mortified that you checked your commonsense at the door for someone once, well… welcome to the club. And let’s hear it for a new life full of healthy skepticism and boundaries! Yea!

Nobody loves me, but my mother,
And she could be jivin` too.
Nobody loves me, but my mother,
And she could be jivin` too.
Now you see why I act so funny, baby,
When you do the things you do.

B.B. King

TGIF, CN!

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TooLong
TooLong
5 years ago

Id lie to you, because you want me to lie to you.
You want to hear my lies.

Wanting to be on the Other Side
Wanting to be on the Other Side
5 years ago
Reply to  TooLong

Audacity #1: I have to be in my home town more to have face time with the clients. (he “works” for his father and telecommuted while surfing porn sites).

Translation: I just re-met the rich sow. We were at the same prep school and she is now my long lost love.

Audacity #2: It would be great for the kids to spend the summers with their grandparents and go to French camp. You can keep working and go back and forth on weekends to be with them. I will move to my home town so I can focus on my “work” and the clients.

Translation: I have decided to spend the summmers going forward with my rich sow and her 4 children. I will take them out on the family boat (instead of you and our own children). I will not bother to see you or our children while they are with their grandparents.

That started in 2013. Day was in October, 2015.

I did not tell him I knew. I lined up my ducks and served him in December. Divorce took just over a year during which time he refused to leave the matrimonial home and emotionally abused me at every turn. And took the kids to the rich sow whenever he pleased. And introduced her as their step-mother.

The verbal abuse continues by email. I am as no contact as possible.

Audacity #3: I want more time with my kids.

Translation: I want to mind-fuck them into believing that life with me and my rich sow and her 4 children is better than life with you, their mother. Then they will come to live with me and YOU will pay ME child support.

Sociopathic POS!!

Triumphafterterror
Triumphafterterror
5 years ago

My ex fed the kids the same lines of vullshit about her & her kids. Told them they were brothers on day ONE, they should call her mom, and has spent 4 + years playing the mind fuckery game with them. They were just babies at DDay, and he pulled them in completely. My heart aches for everything they have had to go through. But they absolutely hate him, refuse to call him pretty much ever and have very limited visitation (because that’s what he chose). So hang in there, your kids will be ok and will see your ex for who he truly is. A deadbeat dad that walked out on them for someone else and someone else’s kids. That’s got to be extremely horrifying for a child, but they still have you. Be the rockstar parent that you are, and fuck trying to figure out the ex & his demented kind games. The audacity of being a complete deadbeat still blows me away, but I’m getting so much better at just shaking my head and giving my boys all the love that I have. I am enough. I will not let their db father destroy them.

TooLong
TooLong
5 years ago
Reply to  TooLong

That was the statement from my STBXW on DD#2.
Divorce & moving her out is in progress.

DunChumpin
DunChumpin
5 years ago
Reply to  TooLong

Lulz. Honestly the fact it’s the same script always makes me giggle.

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
5 years ago

I was at Hobby Lobby all day and just lost track of time. I had my ringer turned off because I didn’t want to disturb the other shoppers.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago

Now, as a crafter, I really can get lost in Hobby Lobby, ***however*** never that lost.
SMH

Kristen
Kristen
5 years ago

Similarly, “I was at Home Depot for two hours and came home with nothing to show for it because it was just too overwhelming.”

Mommamarsh
Mommamarsh
5 years ago
Reply to  Kristen

Ha! My ex “went to Lowe’s” for 2+ hours and came back with a couple of screws. Meanwhile, he had an entire 40+drawer screw sorter cabinet in the garage in which he kept any and all manner of screws. Not very creative, are they??

Sausalito
Sausalito
5 years ago
Reply to  Mommamarsh

Oh yeah, the Home Depot and Lowe’s trips for 6 hours. “Well, I couldn’t find what I was looking for at HD, so had to go to Lowe’s, but they didn’t have it at that store, so I had to drive 30 miles to another Lowe’s to get it…”

Isawthelight
Isawthelight
5 years ago
Reply to  Kristen

Similar—he went shopping for tennis shoes at the mall. He was gone for 6 hours and came back with no shoes. When I indicated that I didn’t believe him, he got very angry and said his feet are hard to fit!

BowTie
BowTie
5 years ago

Mme once spent 7 hours shopping for safety pins. She kept sending me updates on her progress too.

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

You really can’t make this stuff up. So glad you’re free of this delusional liar, BowTie.

Onward and upward. Stay mighty.

BowTie
BowTie
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Oh – forgot to add that she came home with her top on inside out.

CLASSY!

Waffles
Waffles
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Hmm, I got safety pins at the dollar store. In under 2 minutes …. interesting.

Goaheadandjump
Goaheadandjump
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Okay that one is truly amazing!

Letitsnow
Letitsnow
5 years ago
Reply to  Goaheadandjump

Ok I think you won!

Giddy Eagle
Giddy Eagle
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

That is just plain sad. And stupid.

PrisonChump
PrisonChump
5 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Wow! That is nuts! And what was the excuse for the insideout top? I got caught in a tornado on the way home?

wonderwoman
wonderwoman
5 years ago

Lol!! Good one!!

struggling
struggling
5 years ago

Howling with laughter over here! “I turned off my ringer because I didn’t want to disturb the other shoppers”. Good fucking grief. That’s the best she could come up with? Definitely sounds like something my dumbass ex would have said. Come on, cheaters. If you’re going to lie your fool head off, at least be good at it! Come up with something remotely believable!

Chumtastic
Chumtastic
5 years ago

So considerate of other shoppers! I HATE when I am shopping and hear s ring!
That is hilarious!

nomar
nomar
5 years ago

Hobby Lobby is the new Appalachian Trail.

ChumpionoftheWorld
ChumpionoftheWorld
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Well done sir!

violet
violet
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I actually know someone (beside the congressman) who used this excuse! He conveniently forgot to mention that he had a “hiking companion”. I think he actually hiked the trail for about half a day. All of us who were friends with the wife told her her hubby was full of BS, but she is still with him. After all, he was just bored and it didn’t mean a thing, so any good wife would understand. Brick meet wall.

Creativerational
Creativerational
5 years ago
Reply to  violet

Was she wearing a blue suit with pearls? Because that’s a thing, when you eat the political shit sandwich.

brit
brit
5 years ago
Reply to  violet

Violet, almost sounds like you’re describing me. One day I was teaching for something in his truck and found a “water bladder,” a device to hold water that attaches to your back pack when you’re hiking. I thought it was odd he hadn’t mentioned it to me. I asked him about it, he said he was afraid I’d get mad. I’ve never been upset at anything he’s bought and I thought it would be something he would be excited to show me.
It was after X met AP that X suddenly became interested in hiking, all day hiking. I suggested I go with him or we go as a family. I couldn’t hike the 25 miles he did but I thought it would be fun to do a light hike and have a picnic. He gave me the “look” of disgust or disdain and said no, he preferred to go on long hikes by himself. At one time I thought he would have preferred hiking with his family than “alone”.
Guess what? It came to light later that he wasn’t hiking alone after all he was going hiking with his Triathlon AP who he claimed to have so much in common with, and leaving me was the best thing he had ever done and had never happier in his life..

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

Ha! I think I just figured out why X was so keen to take the dogs to the dog park by himself on Sundays for the last few years of the marriage.

Lemonade
Lemonade
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

LOL I had the dog walks too. My ex all of a sudden wanted to walk the dog 3x a day. Long walks too. It never occurred to me until after I found her number on cell phone and a letter. Feel so stupid thinking back on it how much evidence I needed to really come to terms with what he was doing. He even bought a Ducati and would take it for rides at night in this all new leather gear he bought. I’d be studying for my grad courses or putting kids to sleep while he was riding his new racing bike to her house. Ugh…makes me want to puke thinking about all of it in hindsight. And I was even do the pick me dance thinking he was just unhappy in our marriage etc. I’m glad we finally got the divorce over with after nearly 2.5 years but can’t say my life has taken off. Its been hard raising the kids solo, finishing up my degree and basically having no life while ex seems to be enjoying himself despite the pain and suffering he’s inflicted on his family.

Sunflower36
Sunflower36
5 years ago
Reply to  Lemonade

Yes, but you’re building something important and long lasting. Your setting yourself up for your future. You HAVE a future that you are making sacrifices for now… and thankfully, that future is not with him.

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

In situations like this, I always picture the dogs sitting in the back of a (rocking) truck, looking at each other with a disgusted look on their faces like, “What the fuck, man? I thought we were going for a fucking WALK?!?!?” Poor dogs.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

OMG, those poor dogs.
Or they were allowed to roam free.?

Waffles
Waffles
5 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

Bahaha. JAMF also used the dog as as cover to go off and fuck cocksockdr. Shoulda known right then ….

Tammy
Tammy
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

Brit
I’m right there with you. Stbxh decided to work on his health. Didn’t want me to be part of any of it. “His friend “ whom has been passed around more than a lost box had somehow made him see the light on his health. Something his faithful, loyal wife of 23 yrs could never convince him of.
He decided he needed a vacation by himself to go hiking and camping this past July. He was only taking his bible and would be turning his phone off as to not be bothered while he and God tried to figure out what he should do about his marriage and family. He has been so miserable and feels like he sacrificed his whole adult life on me and our children and he just wants to be happy and live his life for himself now….
while he was gone, I got my hands on the proof I needed and found out he was on vacation with his howorker (who has made it a hobby to destroy as many families as possible, the last 4 being in their work place…)
Months have passed, divorce draaaaaging out and guess who has started trying to come back home this week…. ????
Wanting to know if there is any possibility that we could save our marriage and family! ????????‍♀️
I have totally shut him down, as I do believe everything happens for a reason and I see the exit sign as I keep hiking my ass on out of this farce of a marriage….
wishing you well, and nothing but happiness in life…????

Ashley
Ashley
5 years ago
Reply to  Tammy

Please please please don’t let him back! I live for these success stories of kicking these assholes to the curb! I’m 3 years post Dday and have gained a life and then some! My lying ex and schmoopie are sadly breaking up after living together a whole year! “Watch our commitment and undying love”
Your life will be 10000 times better without these freaks and eventually their lies and destruction will catch up to them!! Now he has to move out of their ginormous house they bought together and find a new place for him and our 3 kids…on half his income. Good luck loser! When I moved out of our marital home I made sure to secure a new home for the kids and I. One I wouldn’t rely on anyone else to keep. It’s our home and he gets to start over AGAIN at 34!

Ladystrange
Ladystrange
5 years ago
Reply to  Tammy

Good for you Tammy!

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
5 years ago
Reply to  Tammy

“These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days these boots are going to walk right over you.” Hope I got that right, but keep going one boot in front of the other. Make your own path even if you don’t know where you’re going because it’s not the destination but the adventure that counts.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

LOL! 🙂

Cliffs_of_Insanity
Cliffs_of_Insanity
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

????????????

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

This^^

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I just spit my Cornflakes all over the breakfast table.
Thanks nomar.

Cactusflower
Cactusflower
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Hobby Lobby smells like cancer! (Along with the 99cent store!)

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I forgot to mention….we didn’t have a Hobby Lobby yet.

It was still under construction. Didn’t open until 2 years later.

PrisonChump
PrisonChump
5 years ago

That had me rolling!

ivyleaguechump
ivyleaguechump
5 years ago
Reply to  PrisonChump

Yeah, Hobby Lobby has a GREAT selection of glue guns. And sparkly things to glue onto the turd.

2nd Gen Chump
2nd Gen Chump
5 years ago

It wasn’t open yet? Small wonder he had troubling finding the right train set, then.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
5 years ago

This really is Fun Friday!!!! Bwaabwabwaaa!

Martha
Martha
5 years ago

Wow!! An added bonus to the original lie.

ironhardempress
ironhardempress
5 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

bwahahahaha

Loulotte02
Loulotte02
5 years ago

I swear to you, I will share my hotel room with my secretary on our business trip in Germany, just in order to reduce the cost…

Kiwichump
Kiwichump
5 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

Traitor: I want to spend more time in town and use the library again.
Fine by me. He starts to spend all day Mondays in town after handover. Never brings any books home.
Me: Have you seen any good books lately? I’d like it if you picked some for me too.
Traitor: No, I go to the University library and I read the science journals.

And I believed it… I even felt sad for him that he must miss the research career he abandoned.

brit
brit
5 years ago
Reply to  Kiwichump

Mine started spending afternoons at Barnes and Noble, when I’d be out shopping I’d stop by Barnes and Noble and he was never there. I mentioned it to Cheater, he said well, he must have stepped out for something to eat….,

People would ask me where X was in the afternoons, I’d tell them Barnes and Noble, he likes reading, a lot..

I sometimes can’t believe how naive I was, but I trusted him.

chumpchick
chumpchick
5 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

Classic!

Loulotte02
Loulotte02
5 years ago
Reply to  chumpchick

I actually feel so stupid, just typing this @chumpchick…

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
5 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

Don’t feel stupid. I remember going to a holiday party and having a friend tell me, “Man, I would NEVER let my husband hug all those little waitress girls!” (he was a restaurant manager at the time) I laughed and replied, “I’m not worried about it. I trust him!” — And I am NOT sorry I felt that way. That’s how a marriage is SUPPOSED to be, full of trust. To this day, I am not one bit sorry I did not police my marriage. What kind of excuse for a marriage is that, to be watching your partner every minute? Why would you do that to yourself? Get out, save yourself the headache.
THEY are the stupid ones, not us.

Waffles
Waffles
5 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

Amen!

kiwichump
kiwichump
5 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

Don’t feel stupid. You’re honest and loyal, so you trusted him.

AC
AC
5 years ago
Reply to  kiwichump

No, don’t feel stupid. You were lovingly applying “benefit of the doubt” and transferring your good intent to him.

For instance, when I was attending a month-long training school many years ago I met up with an old friend. Now it just so happened that the school was a few hours drive from Yosemite National Park, it was a great time of year to see the park, tent cabins were hard to find on the weekend (and pricey), and my friend was the opposite gender.

We did find one tent cabin open – for one night – so we booked it and went. We behaved ourselves respectfully – slept in separate beds – and had a great time. Seeing the park, that is. NOTHING even remotely questionable happened between us.

Surely our spouses, who are gifted with the same level as self-control as we are, can do the same?

If my spouse can trust me, surely I can trust also? You think?

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago
Reply to  kiwichump

Loulotte – don’t feel stupid. Same thing happened to me. At dog shows, we’re always trying to find ways to save money so that’s a real issue. He was going to a show 600 miles away with our handler (single) and insisted they save money by sharing a room. Now, these rooms are not expensive…..say $40/night – you know – cheapo and everybody is trying to outcheap everybody else. SO, must split room like other people (same sex) people do. Over 4 day trip, I guess the sleeping arrangements worked like a dream…..to hear them tell it. Of course, I never questioned a thing! arrgh

btw – we can more than afford a good hotel room and one for the handler as well.

chumpchick
chumpchick
5 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

Do NOT feel stupid, we all want to believe their BS. It’s only in looking back do we realize how gullible we were!! I believed some real big ones too!!

wonderwoman
wonderwoman
5 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

Don’t feel stupid! We’ve all spackled. Thats why we’re on this site. Chumps that laugh together heal together!

Payback is a bitch
Payback is a bitch
5 years ago

“ I just started s relationship with ow after I left the marriage. I’m not having an affair”. Oh and that $1200 worth of jewelry purchased for her 8 days post departure?? Yep everyone spends that kind of money for a 1 week old relationship!

nomorecamping
nomorecamping
5 years ago

My stbx started up affair with coworker 25 years younger than him. Moved out and moved in with her. My daughter had his ipad – actually, he had given it to her. I picked it up one day and for some reason looked at the pictures. The ipad was linked to his pictures. There was OW with a big fat ring on her finger. Also in his backyard of expensive house he was renting, was the same Weber bbq and a gas smoker… Has replicating his life with replacement wife appliance. Took her to our eating and vacation spots – one time in our camper that I was making the payment on. There was a picture of OW and her mom hugging all happy. I’m thinking, yeah happy her daughter got a stupid old man with money for her to make her baby with.
My ex told me when this young girl started working with him at work that he likes that she knows how to get whatever she wants. I was like, ok…..
But now I’m wondering if OW is happy with what she “wanted” and broke up a family for: A fat old mega hairy man with a balding head, false teeth, a mean temper (my daughter was telling me how her dad yells at OW), who cheats and lies, who cannot really care about anyone but himself, and if something better comes along he will dump her and turn on her with a viciousness she’s never seen before. Way to go, OW! Oh, yeah, and the naked pictures of OW on the ipad that her prince charming showed all of his friends. Glad I changed the locks the minute he left.
One of the couples we used to go camping with – the wife was furious that she found these naked pictures on her husband’s computer. I’m just glad our daughter didn’t see the pictures.
Oh, and our daughter wants nothing to do with him. He says I alienated her from him. No….. dummy. You are the one who threw away your family. Not me.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago

Yep, exh2 claims that he met his OW after he moved out. If that’s to be believed, then they met and married in five months. Wow, Tru wuv comes fast and hard, eh???
I know he had another AP who came forward to me after he discarded her too…plus one or two other women he was with too.
He honestly expected me to believe that he just met her randomly one day. Rrrrright

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
5 years ago

Same!!
Jewelry purchased before he left, AP ( that he had no relationship with) was sstaying at his new place the same weekend he moved out.
I’m sure he never even thought of her “that way” till after he asked for a divorce. It’s probably also the reason calls to her were on my phone records at all hours of the day and night going back two years.

WisedUp
WisedUp
5 years ago

Yeah, jewelry. After DDay when I scrutinized our family cell plan phone logs, I saw that one morning he called a jewelry store in the city where OW lived about two hours from here. Next time I saw him (after he moved out but kept coming back ostensibly to get things, but really to manipulate and gaslight me further), I asked why did you call a jewelry store in her city, did you buy her jewelry???? (had of course never bought me any in 16 years). “NO!” he shouted, “I was on my way to her house and she asked me to stop and pick up some jewelry she had left there to be repaired, some jewelry she inherited from her mother!”

The insanity of this. #1 she didn’t have a phone to call the store herself? instead she calls Cheater and asks him to call the store for her? #2 WisedUp you insensitive bitch! OW’s mother DIED! and you are making light of that situation!”

Newlady15
Newlady15
5 years ago

Yup mine said he met her 3 days after our separation ( he left his family on thanksgiving Monday to go on a first date—snort!). He moved in with her and her 11year old 5 weeks later..

Oh but there are soooo many more I could post 10 times

The Second Lady
The Second Lady
5 years ago

I was just doing research on the kind of people who advertise on Craigslist for sex–ALL the kinds of people. It fuels my short fiction writing, and I’m even thinking about writing a novel. –said the unemployed man who sold energy futures for a living.

He was being sued by the company whose laptop he refused to return on being fired–heaven only knows what was on it

GracieD
GracieD
5 years ago

What facebook profile? a friend must have put it up for a joke, where does it say “single and interested in women? oooh, it must be a default and I didn’t know how to change it.” From a web programmer ….

Jeanny
Jeanny
5 years ago
Reply to  GracieD

Lol too funny…. I love when a tech guy plays dummy “ Craigslist- never heard of that site”
“ “it’s in ur browsing history”
“ nah, someone hacked into my computer”
“ it’s protected by 3 types of passwords?!?”
“Uhm…. eeee….. blank”

ironhardempress
ironhardempress
5 years ago

Where shall I begin…….because I don’t actually know all the lies that were told, I can only relate the ones I found out. Like he stayed overnight at the casino with a friend (who i didn’t really know and couldn’t verify the overnight with) when in reality he stayed overnight shooting up heroin alone (really alone, heroin addicts don’t give two craps about sex). Or, later on after he was clean from heroin but replaced that addiction with one of other women, the biggest whopper of them all: “She’s just a friend” , after i saw messages where they were calling each other “baby”

Chickynot
Chickynot
5 years ago

“Baby” is always a cheater red flag! They use it so they don’t accidentally call out the wrong name at the wrong time!

Ladystrange
Ladystrange
5 years ago
Reply to  Chickynot

My asswipe called everybody “baby.” He was a huge flirt. When he would call me ‘baby,’ I’d ask him who is was talking to. I hated him calling other women that and I told him it bothered me. Didn’t phase him. He didn’t give a shit how I felt. I also told him he needed to watch that because some woman is gonna get the wrong idea. Maybe that was the plan and they actually got the right idea. Asshole.

Goaheadandjump
Goaheadandjump
5 years ago
Reply to  Ladystrange

My stbx called our 18 year old son baby the other day. He has never done that…. must be the pet name for millennial whore. Barf

ironhardempress
ironhardempress
5 years ago
Reply to  Goaheadandjump

something I have noticed tho, is that young men in this area often call women “babe” whether they are hooking up or not. I am in a youth-oriented business and am friends with a lot of younger people on social media. I notice this and it seems quite common, they call me “babe” on occasion, kind of like people here use “darlin’ ” or “hon” (I’m in the South). But never ever “baby”. Seems like there is a difference of some sort.

OCchump
OCchump
5 years ago

Ahhhhh! The names they have for each other. It’s a whole other pile of shit to heap onto a chumps sandwich.

Hey babe. I love you babe. Your the best babe. I miss you babe…….blahhhhhh. makes me want to vomit on my shoes.

Chumtastic
Chumtastic
5 years ago

He bought her a bee hive and shipped it to her house. (Yes, a real bee hive) He said it was to pay her for work she did for his firm.
Who gets paid with bees???

Other Kat
Other Kat
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumtastic

Funny thing about bees . . . my X wrote a YouTube song about them, which was, he wrote, “inspired by a conversation with a friend.” This was during the divorce, before I stopped working for the marriage police. By the time the divorce was final, after much CN therapy and support, I no longer cared. But I almost peed my pants laughing when we were at the bank closing our accounts and his phone rang to the tune of “Flight of the Bumble Bee.” He nearly fell out of his chair trying to turn the ringer off before I could catch a glimpse of the name of the person calling, not even aware that I hadn’t bothered looking.

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
5 years ago
Reply to  Other Kat

Other Kat- Wow! Flight of The Bumblebee is not the most loving ringtone.

Leavealyingloser
Leavealyingloser
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumtastic

Well who doesn’t want to get paid with bees! Oh right prostitutes.

Honeyandthehomewrecker
Honeyandthehomewrecker
5 years ago

Maybe it was a selfless gesture. Maybe she bought him Rogain by selling her bees and he sold his hair comb to buy her a hive. Kind of like like The Gift of the Magi with less altruism and more whoring. Just spitballing here.

TorontoChump
TorontoChump
5 years ago

That is frickin’ hilarious, HatHW!

Waffles
Waffles
5 years ago

I thought hookers liked cash?!?

ironhardempress
ironhardempress
5 years ago
Reply to  Chumtastic

that’s actually hysterical! Im sure not at the time, but in hindsight. (I used to raise bees)

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
5 years ago

Mine supposedly bought a $20,000 piece of equipment so it could be rented out and he could make money. Then he had to go away for a week to be trained to use that piece of equipment and had to be gone a few times to use it to make money and then I never heard about it again or saw it. Just an excuse to have missing money and be gone. I was busy working full time and doing all the parenting and adulting. I trusted him to manage his own business. How’s that going? Last year he was on Government assistance. Then his mother died, leaving him $100,000. Now he’s ramping up the business again, spending money to rent office space from his new schmoopie. I don’t know much due to No Contact, the path to the truth and the light but my son lets things slip every now and again. These days I can see it all so clearly. I’ll let you all know when the inheritance is gone.

CakelessinKalamazoo
CakelessinKalamazoo
5 years ago

Just prior to D-Day, we were hosting New Year’s Eve as always. And as always, OW was in attendance and got falling down drunk, as she often does on weekends. Ex said he’d drive her the five minutes it took to her house and would be right back. He didn’t get home for an hour, leaving me to field awkward questions from our guests, wondering if he’d been in an accident and humiliated that he’d ditch out on the party like that.

Definitely one of those ah-ha moments when I found out about a week later that they’d been fucking for the last six years. I don’t want to even imagine what they were doing for that missing hour.

Oh and then there’s the “I haven’t been happy in years.” line as well.

Martha
Martha
5 years ago

I got the “I haven’t been happy in TEN years, but DIDN’T KNOW IT.” He had to go back ten years to a night that I of course have no memory of (gas light much?) and tell me that I said something that made a part of him “die inside”. That in turn made him “pull away from” me. No evidence of that in ten years as far as I could tell; he sure seemed happy or content to me most of the time.

They lie. Make up stories. Rewrite history to justify what they did and what they are doing. They are The People of the Lie.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

OMG, the kids and I got the “I hated every minute of this family for the past 10 years!” My 10 year old was laying on the floor her arms around my legs crying her heart out and she said, “but daddy, that’s my whole life!” The evil bastard replied, “I’m sorry but it’s true.”

If I was living in the time of my Viking foremothers I would have taken up my sword and lopped off his head right then and there.

via GIPHY

Jeanny
Jeanny
5 years ago

Such an asshole!!! Shuttering the world of another adult is despicable, BUT breaking the heart of his own child!?!??
Unforgivable ????

twiceachump
twiceachump
5 years ago

And lopping off his head would be way too good for that nasty, cruel fucker. Thank heavens your daughter has you to comfort her and be the sane parent.

Sunflower36
Sunflower36
5 years ago
Reply to  twiceachump

Wow!

There is a special place in hell for people like that.

That poor kid.

I Got The House
I Got The House
5 years ago

What a disgusting narcissistic POS! These selfish assholes are incapable of thinking or caring about how their words affect others…even their own child.
Sending you and your daughter hugs.

nomorecamping
nomorecamping
5 years ago

I am so sorry for your daughter. Oh my gosh my heart aches for her. My daughter has had to endure rejection from her dad, and it’s horrible. Her dad then twists it and says she is throwing HIM away. They use people to get their way, no matter who it is, or what the damage is that results. They do not care.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
5 years ago

What a piece of shit.
There will be a day when your daughter will be contacted by him in need and she will repeat verbatim that moment her father crushed her soul, and your daughter will speak her truth to he father and he will then finally see just how vile and cruel he is.
#FeelMyWrathDad

Kettle
Kettle
5 years ago

Kids remember shit like that. Vividly. Hope his dick rots off. I hope when he gets old and remorseful your daughter throws that back in his face.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago

Mother, that made me feel a kick in the stomach for you! I HATE him for you and your precious children! HUGS!

kiwichump
kiwichump
5 years ago

I love Lagertha! And I hate your cruel cheater.

Chickynot
Chickynot
5 years ago

I hate him and hope the karma bus flattens him pronto.

Mairead
Mairead
5 years ago
Reply to  Chickynot

Just love ???? what you wrote please let it happen to my asshole who cheated with a bitch thirty years his junior for five plus years and went into attack mode when l found out and said it was all a joke and yes she was the love of his love in his heart all the time yaya ya what a fuckwit????????????????????????????

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
5 years ago

Fucking cruel asshole!

Letitsnow
Letitsnow
5 years ago
Reply to  spiritwoman

I fucking hate him also! cruel, inhuman bastard. RUN!
So sorry this happened to you, nobody deserves this
Now you know who he really is, a traitor
Fuckoff

rockstarwife
rockstarwife
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha,
I love that term, The People of the Lie! The people–not so much.

I Got The House
I Got The House
5 years ago
Reply to  rockstarwife

“People of the Lie” is a book by Steven Covey. Describes these evil morons to a “T”. It’s worth a read.

DrFormerChump
DrFormerChump
5 years ago

Just fyi, “People of the Lie” was written by M. Scott Peck.

I Got The House
I Got The House
5 years ago
Reply to  DrFormerChump

Oh, that’s right! Oops. Sorry for the misinformation. I reread it too when I was going through my divorce. Sure did help connect the dots for me too.

JeepTess
JeepTess
5 years ago
Reply to  DrFormerChump

DrFormerChump

Thank you! I found it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IT1qj4pTo0I

Martha
Martha
5 years ago

Yes, that’s an excellent book and that’s where I got those words from. I’m guessing I read that book close to ten years ago. Little did I know I was living with one of these types. When his mask finally dropped and I started connecting the 20+ years of dots and lies — I remembered this book and then reread it. How did I not see it when I was living it? Oh, that’s right. Spackle!!

My ex is a “Christian” and years ago he read the book “Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. He probably took notes while reading to fine-tune his con game.

Loulotte02
Loulotte02
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

My cheater told me he had been unhappy the FIRST 10 years of our marriage…we had been married for 17 years at the time he said that…
I did try to untangle the skein of fuckupedness for a couple years after that, danced the pick-me dance quite hard and then found Chump Lady and this community who litterally saved my life…

Payback is a bitch
Payback is a bitch
5 years ago

Oh the “ I haven’t been happy in years” line is a definite must in building the ball of justification! My stbx and I built a million dollar house together and moved into it and 18 months later he began his affair. Yep we all expend that kind of money and effort and investment with someone who has made us miserable for years… I mean is that as creative as you can get??? Seriously brainless blather…

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
5 years ago

Well, to be fair there is another explanation: maybe he just assumed that HE would get the house. You thought you were building it for both of you, but he was building it for himself.

My XW left me a couple of months after we moved 1000 miles (for her job). Just last week my daughter pointed out that the AP’s new house (he left his wife the same week my wife left us) is really too small for him and his kids – probably he and my XW thought they’d all move in together into our new house, which she figured she would get in the divorce. This also explains why she was so angry that I talked to our neighbors about the affair: she claimed I was salting the earth in our neighborhood, and chumpy me thought “this means she has been considering reconciliation” rather than “she wants to be able to move the AP in”.

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago

I, Georgian – omg – this could be my story. We spent 5 yrs creating our dream home. 2 yrs planning and 3 to build. It occupied our life for quite awhile. But, man, we were sure bonded during this time frame, making decisions….which, seriously, were mostly all his decisions because he’s always known what is in the best interest of ‘US’. Turned out I didn’t like the house because it was far to big and obnoxious, and I’m a simple farm girl . But, we made it a home, made many friends, etc. So, when he decided to have the LT affair, he would move her into MY house. They slept in one of the beds that used to be our master suite. Once she was there for 10 days when I visited my home county. You name it, she used it. I truly believe she wanted my lifestyle – looking back . (we were close friends) . Found hair in MY pool,etc and finally some panties in that bed. I’ve mentioned it before, but in the 10 days she was living in my house she started landscaping projects that he took credit for. I saw her work-print all over the design. It was the same at her house.

Then, audaciously, in the middle of an uncomfortable marriage relationship the said he found a house I could buy in a little village 30 miles south of here. I was, as they say, Gobsmacked! Why was out meeting realtors for me? Sure, he was pushing hard by intimidating to move out. How simply obvious that is to me now. He thought I would just move away, stay friends and dogs, and he would get the house – not a problem, and she would seamlessly move in. (she parked her jeep in my spot in the garage. I could smell her)

In the end, it was obvious he didn’t care if I found out or not.
Until, of course, the consequences hit him being the eyeballs.
He never really thought it through.

Asshole

WisedUp
WisedUp
5 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

My Cheater point blank told me that I was going to move out and that he had already brought OW into our house to tour it (while I was out at work earning the mortgage payment) and she was looking forward to living here. He told me he was going to help me find an apartment near my work, and then he would help me move. I flat out told him nfw and that was almost 5 years ago. I still have the house that we worked together to remodel for 12 years and 95% of the equity too. I don’t really know where he is but a couple months ago someone told me he broke up with OW multiple times but that he still lives in her house (that she bought in our town a year after Dday and moved him in w/her) because “he can’t afford to live anywhere else.” Karma’s a bitch.

douchefreelife
douchefreelife
5 years ago
Reply to  WisedUp

Kudos to you Wisedup????

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

p.s. to above post. I wound up getting the house during the divorce and selling process – but I needed it for the dogs. He lived out of his r/v (oh yeah, he fucked her many times in that and they drove all over the NW. Talk about an emotional shock – that was ‘my baby, that r.v) I got all the dogs and his mother was terribly disappointed. He listed all those things he wanted – #) I don’t want to lose my house, #2) I don’t want to lose my dogs, and drum roll..#3) I don’t want to disappoint my mom.

And, none of that came true for him. aww.
He lost a lot of his dignity and his character/integrity has been tarnished. ..possibly forever.

nomorecamping
nomorecamping
5 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

My stbx was so mad I wanted the amount I wanted for support. He ranted on and on about how he would be homeless – he could not afford that!! He was not giving up his new truck (he tricked me into cosigning the F350 so we could be safe towing our camper – but the “we” was him and OW and the new bigger camper he bought to tow the new bigger Polaris off road vehicle! Lol) Anyway, he railed on and on about he was going to make the judge sell the house and he was taking the dogs away from me, and he was taking our daughter away from me!
But that didn’t come true for him.
I wound up getting the house in the divorce. I got the dogs. And our daughter wants nothing to do with him now because he’s mean and selfish and doesn’t care about anyone but himself – her words.
Oh, and the amount I wanted for support? That’s what I got in the divorce. That was the amount I believed to be fair, and that’s when I ended up getting.
Funny – he has been able to afford the support and he’s afforded to buy big new shiny toys, rings, etc., too. He didn’t become homeless and have to live under a bridge after all! Imagine that.
He wanted to throw me away as cheaply as possible and all of his threats backfired on him.

Cara
Cara
5 years ago

A lot! But the most big lie that I hate me for believe it was: I am like you! I want to be a part of your life becouse I feel a good and bbeautiful person when I am with you!, I love you (he didn’t even knkw me but he said that he loves me) I was 15 years and I believed that shit!!! I will never forget myself rhat I had allowed that shit to enter in my life and my soul thinking that he could be a good person… He destroyed me forever! I will never thi k that people are good.. I just can’t. And I’m scared of people because of that and I don’t trust myself anymore

Jeanny
Jeanny
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Cara
Listen, girl… he wanted to be LIKE YOU- decent person, loyal companion and friend, with a good values and priorities in place….
Unfortunately- HE WAS nothing like you….
that’s why he ended up being bitter, angry and hateful….
Don’t let him change who you really ARE!!!
Don’t give him that power

dandoopy
dandoopy
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

I know how you feel.
Womdering if i’ll ever trust again, my whole view on romantic love between a man and a woman has shifted from something beauriful to something that is manipulative and ugly.
Loosing my faith has been the most difficult part of my divorce, not my husband cheating, but my loss of faith.

My ex was such a good man, kind and loving. How could someone desicrate their family like he did? Makes the world seem like an immoral place, where society supports divorce and the breakdown of community.

So many empty, lonely people, i never knew existed, now they’re all i see.

It’s been 3 years since D Day and the hope and faith in the sanctity of marriage has not been restored.

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Cara: I can hear the strength in your posts. That indignation will keep you afloat. You are not ruined forever. Surround yourself with support (including Chump Nation), and slowly you will start to believe that there are trustworthy people in the world. You will also learn to pick out who they are, and avoid the people like your cheating X. Distancing yourself from the evil, and filling your life with goodness, will catapult you to a better place. Hugs.

Cara
Cara
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Thank you, Tempest! As I recently heard one thing: With more you are happy, the psychopath is unhappy. And more you are unhappy, the more they are happy.
This is what happened to me. I am frustated that for years he stolled my happines and he was feeding with my energy. I feel robbed. but I fighting with my own thoughts. And one good news is that God gave us the light in our soul and nobody can steal that from us. Only if we let them. I have good moments and bad moments but Im fighting. and I am not alone. I have discovered this site, great healing resources and I know that God is taking care of us, He gave us life, not the psychopath that we had met”! they don”t have any power on us. Only God has. This fact makes me strong.

left him at the airport
left him at the airport
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Cara – welcome!! Stick with Chump Lady and Chump Nation – everybody here will support you.

I felt the same as you, 2 years ago when I left my cheater. I had counselling to help me through, which helped me work a lot on trusting myself again, and really listening to my instincts. I now listen to that voice inside me, my gut feeling. And I go with what it tells me. I actually think being cheated on gave me a better life – I am now away from him and raising my two children in PEACE! And I’m slowly building my life up again. You will too.

Hang in there. ((((Hugs)))) from Australia ????????

Cara
Cara
5 years ago

Thank you soo much for your support!
You are a great mom for your kids!

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Cara, that’s just the game they play to hook you in. Don’t beat yourself for falling for the trap. A lot of us here at Chump Nation fell for this game too. We like you didn’t realize it was a con. They are a lot of personality disordered people out there, but not everyone is like this!

You are not destroyed forever! Work on yourself like Chump Lady says to do. If you don’t know about boundaries — learn about that and start implementing. Find out about deal breaker behavior and write out a list of your deal breakers. There are tons of books out there and us chumps will be happy to lead you to lots of great authors. If you don’t have the energy to read — there are a ton of Youtubers that are teaching the way to get healthy. You are right. If you don’t trust yourself to keep yourself safe, then you will not will not feel safe to ever trust again. Everything starts with YOU. Take care of you first. Keep coming back to Chump Lady and Chump Nation. We are here for you. You will get through this. I’ve been here for over two years and I still read every post. I don’t need it like I used to, but sometimes I just need a good laugh and Chump Lady always delivers. 🙂 Don’t give up! We are here for you!

brit
brit
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Great post Martha, good reminder too for the down days when you’re feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.

Thank you!

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

🙂

Cara
Cara
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Thank you Guys soo soo much! I did not believe that there are ppl like you in this world. Im from Romania and I’m not very good in english but I’ve descovered this site and I understood in a foreign language what happened to me.
I had “friends” that they had blamed me for the fact that the piese of sh** abandoned me. Wtf is wrong with the world… Im out with that “friends” now. There were toxic ppl with toxic mentalities. However, last year I was in hell. Only God took care of me and gave me the strength to go to work and make normal things. He was a psychopath and found that after 10 fking year’s! Even that I was 15 years old when I’ve met this person, I felt that something is not good with him.. But I believed in his words and what ppl told me.. I will start to believe more in my soul as God give us the strength to feel if one thing is not good for us. And not believe in what others say. Thank you one again for your comm. Big hugs from Romania : )

Martha
Martha
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Cara, your English is very good. 🙂 You were involved with a psychopath and what a lot of us realize after leaving our cheater or getting discard by them — we realize that a lot of our so-called friends are toxic too and we have to get them out of our life too. It seems this is what happened to you too and it’s good they are out of your life.

God took care of me too and continues too. 🙂 It’s good you realize He’s there for you and will never leave you or forsake you. Keep trusting your intuition about people. It’s never wrong. One good book that I read, but I’m not sure if it’s in your native language, but it’s called “How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Become Involved” by Sandra L. Brown. For the book, she interviewed a lot of women. ALL of them red flags or a gut intuition that something was “off” with their boyfriend/husband. I myself had quite a few gut feelings that something was wrong. I caught him lying, but didn’t say anything to him about it. He lied and cheated on me from the very beginning. But I spackled and trusted to my own detriment. So you were right from the very beginning, but you didn’t trust your intuition. From now on, you will. 🙂 I’m not sure if you speak Polish, but there’s a Youtuber called “Soul GPS” and she has lots of great videos in English and Polish that might be helpful to you. (((HUGS)))

Cara
Cara
5 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha, thank you ones again! I have checked the “Soul GPS” youtube video”s this morning and is amazing! It helps me soo much! Guy”s, I recommend forward!

Panchovilla
Panchovilla
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

After years of loving (yes loving) the lie, you lose yourself in it. You choose to love it because you want your life so badly to be some sort of normal. BUT… You can no longer trust yourself, your instincts, or even your own eyes. Your own mind begins to deceive you. Who can you trust? AND THEN… Divorce… Time speed crawls (many if you know what I mean), and you end up broken, never thinking you could love again. Months or years go by alone WHEN…All of a sudden you see someone that gives you butterflies. Thats healing. Work on yourself, trusting yourself, and why you chose the partner you did. This can be very helpful for your future in all of your relationships not just romantic ones. Hang in there. We got your back.

TaraBelle
TaraBelle
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

(((((((HUGS))))))) to you Cara. CL & CN got your back ❤️

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago

Before I found out if the sordid affair he told me he was going skiing alone for few days . My son & I carried his ski equipment & helped him with packed lunch to his car.

Weeks later I found ripped up statement from his charge account. I put it together piece by piece… read he was in a hotel room, restaurant receipts, liquor purchases just half hour from our town.

When I confronted him he said he won a free room at a hotel, wanted to party & if he drank too much, he could sleep out there instead of driving all way home.

Was with the Whore… how stupid was I ??????

Calgal1
Calgal1
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

With mine, it was a 5 day bike ride up the coast and back. The one he needed to reduce work stress. I rounded up the pack bags for the bike, and made sure they were cleaned and ready to go, along with the sleeping bag. Made sure all his gear and clothing was prepared and packed. Got him sunscreen. Even set him up with snacks for along the way. The one thing I couldn’t figure out was why he didn’t see it a priority to pack the single tent.

The other odd thing was that he was out of cell phone signal the entire time, with the exception of one quick voicemail he left me on one day. Hmmm. It was 2015 and the cell range along the CA coast is pretty solid. Also, the guy who would always take tons of photos, came home with supposedly not a single pic of his “epic” and “gorgeous” coastal ride experience.

He went during the start of our daughters’ spring break, which meant he had time at work to make up when he returned. No time for the family. Plenty of time to be with the OWhore employee of his, 13 years his junior, who I am now certain accompanied him on that trip. (insert face palm to head)

Jeanny
Jeanny
5 years ago
Reply to  Calgal1

I was always helping H pack for his business trips, buying him clothes etc. as a part of being a nice wife; I was Even buying “ gifts” for kids ( H was too busy during the trips) so he can give it to our children…
After #2 I learned, that my ways of doing nice stuff for him, were used to lure and fuck whoever was willing or was paid for the “ service”
I felt like an idiot for a long time.
No time for buying souvenirs for his family? Plenty of time to screw around…

Cara
Cara
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

You were not stupid. You were only a good person who thought like normal people think that they have dicided to have a man in her life who will respect her, love her and take care of her. He is the stupid one that he lost a treasure! His family, a great wife, the respect, everything!

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  Cara

Cara

Thank you …

HUGS ???? ❤️

Giddy Eagle
Giddy Eagle
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

DDay #2 for me was when I was coordinating housesitter so he could go skiing by himself following a business trip while daughter and I were in Hawaii. (She was meeting up with a friend and I had a lovely condo. I asked him to join me saying it has been forever since we had a vacation just the two of us.)

So two hours before I’m set to leave with my daughter, my marriage blows up. I manage to fake it with her a few days until she heads off with her friend.

He sticks with his plan and goes skiing with OW. But he was generous enough to offer that he’d pay for the trip out of his separate property.

As it turns out, he’s a serial adulter and I have no idea how much community funds were spend on his affairs.

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

I didn’t type first sentence??

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Kathleen

Kathleen – ‘You didn’t type first sentence?”

What’s going on?

Kathleen
Kathleen
5 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

There was a sentence stating “ duplicate content…or other”. Think it was from website but it disappeared.
Sorry.

lovedandlost
lovedandlost
5 years ago

Omg so many to choose from. Of course there’s the usual: “she tells me her marital problems because I helped her out making cupboards.”
And then comes “I was just trying to claim my stake in my mothers place to my brother” after I overheard him say to his brother, “I’m so unhappy in my marriage. I’m just going to stay until the kids are gone.” The latter was the truth, that if he had told me instead of his brother, things could have gone down a lot differently. But no, like a good chump I accepted what he told me without really believing it. It was the beginning of the end. After 20 yrs married to that, and 4 yrs out, Now I trust no one.

Luziana
Luziana
5 years ago

We’ve never touched. Our connection is 100% Spiritual.

Eight months and a quickie dissolution later, a full term baby (described as a week late) pops out of the Sluterus.

My inquiry to my OBGYN and her response if that was possible.

“Her uterus is not an Instant Pot”

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
5 years ago
Reply to  Luziana

A little story on how I selected my username: My now XH was a Jesus Cheater. He actually decided he had an “insight” one day where he realized he had never been in love with me. This life altering “insight” was that we weren’t SPIRITUALY CONNECTED. However, his “insight” from God happened to come at the same time as he told me he just found his soulmate. Of course it was complicated by a 2 week Online affair with a fantasy from half way across the world, she couldn’t speak English, different religion, and he had never met her.

He did leave me, separation and divorce started before he flew off to meet his soulmate. I truly believed that we he met her the fantasy would blow up and he would come back once he realized all that we shared. It was when I confirmed he had flown to meet her and lived with her a month visa, that I stopped smoking the hopium pipe.

It’s very painful knowing I was thrown away after 25yrs for a 2 week fantasy. It was mental hell because he told me I was still his best friend, had been a great wife, and we had a wonderful relationship. He didn’t excuse or blame with complaints, accusations or faults of me. My world had been hit by a meteor I didn’t see coming, blew a crater through my heart, slammed my soul out of orbit, and caused near death from the fallout.

This is why it’s important for me to tell people Emotional Affairs can definitely destroy a marriage. Today is exactly 5 yrs, not at meh but have quit trying to untangle the skein. Now I just conclude that crazy is as crazy does. Sorry for hijacking Fun Friday, now back to our much needed comedy relief.

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago
Reply to  spiritwoman

I can relate to this, spirit woman. How can they survive after they’ve been caught and all this ugly is about to come down the turnpike at them. For me? I was shocked he wouldn’t keep seeing her! 35 yrs of (cough) marital bliss. We were best friends our entire adult life, and now we are 100% N/C. I don’t think he ever thought I would immediately file divorce papers on him with hardly any conversation. Bam!

Kibble-less
Kibble-less
5 years ago
Reply to  Luziana

“…not an instant pot”, this made me snort out loud in my cubicle where no snorting or even heavy breathing is allowed in this govt cubicle farm… LOL!!!

OhHellNo
OhHellNo
5 years ago
Reply to  Luziana

Luziana, so sorry you had to go through this. I will never use my instant pot ever again without thinking of you and saying a prayer for you. <3

susan devlin
susan devlin
5 years ago

He had hiv, a lie
The ow was abused as a child (admitted a lie), her dad was in prison, lie, she was a friend, lie, he said he picked me, a lie, he wasn’t paid, a lie, he didn’t know they were prostitutes, a lie, pretend suicide attempt, a lie, biggest lie pretending to be a human being, forgot cystitis was actually sti, my lie wasting my life on him!

Creativerational
Creativerational
5 years ago
Reply to  susan devlin

He lied about having HIV?
What?
I can’t even bend my mind around that

SheChump
SheChump
5 years ago

Sounds like he ‘lied’ about having HIV.

UXworld
UXworld
5 years ago

(After returning home after attending yet again another family event with my daughters, but without KK, who suddenly decided she wanted to see the new Star Wars movie alone, “to give myself a break”)

“I was on the highway on the way to the theater, but … did you ever start driving and just zone out, and suddenly you don’t remember any of the previous 10 or 15 minutes? That happened to me! And suddenly I was 20 miles away, clear on the opposite side of Boston. Weird, huh? So I just decided to drive around for a while. How was the party . . . ?”

(She was fucking the Carrot Singer in his home, after his wife and infant daughter left for the day.)

nomar
nomar
5 years ago

She told me she was flying to Idaho to reconnect with a friend of ours from college. Even emailed me a “copy” of her airline itinerary. And she called me and the kids back in Oklahoma every night to tell us about her great day in “Idaho.” Except she wasnt in Idaho. She was in Las Vegas. With an AP. He was from Florida. And she met him playing World of Warcraft online. (Note: names of states changed). Literally a lie big enough to span a continent.

NoMoreLies
NoMoreLies
5 years ago
Reply to  nomar

He went a week early to a conference in Salt Lake so he could “visit Yellowstone” even though his father was at death’s door (in Europe). I asked why he would do that (said I didn’t understand since I’ve never been to Yellowstone and he has). Well, his father died that week while he was with OW (and being a chump, felt sorry for him). Four months later when he should have gone to parent orientation and move our son to college 8 hours away (I always felt like a single parent), he said he was sad about his father and wanted alone time to think about him (and being a chump, felt sorry for him). I later found out he went to a soccer game at Wembley with OW (we live in the U.S.) So many lies…and me such a chump.

So Done
So Done
5 years ago

Wow, the real challenge here is choosing just one lie, when there have been so many.

Here goes. For years, my STBX maintained that his affair in 2011 had been an emotional affair only. Last July, I discovered text messages between him and his whore — my STBX had “waited and waited until the clock struck 12” so that he could be the first person to wish her happy birthday; her reply included the following, “All I want for my birthday is to have your arms wrapped around me and your body smack up against mine.”

After reading these texts, I said to my STBX, “Obviously, your affair was not just emotional.” His reply, “Yes it was!”
Me: “Then why would she talk about your arms wrapped around her and your body snack up against hers?”
Him: “She likes to sit very close to me. She always talks about how she likes to sit right next to me, very closely.”
Me: “Do you also wrap your arms around her while you’re sitting close to her?”

Yikes. Unbelievable.

Lioness
Lioness
5 years ago

The $2000.00 that was withdrawn from our a/c when I saw the statement. Well he said I just wanted to buy you an heirloom. Took him two weeks to give it to me. In August no birthday no occasion to celebrate, nothing. Gosh I nearly cried when I saw it, actually thought the diamonds were real. Oh my .. saw the same thing for $10.00 at a costume jewelry shop. I’m keeping it as a reminder… all the lies, betrayal etc in my weak moments! Oh how that strengthens me….

cupcake
cupcake
5 years ago
Reply to  Lioness

holy crap what a con artist!

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
5 years ago

A month after this clusterfuck began, I decided to go to the beach to try to get myself in a better space. At the time I needed to get my head right as I was very double-minded with it all (knowing what the facts are, however not acknowledging all of those facts).

I went to the beach, ALONE, and for two days I drank coffee, smoked cigarettes and read two books: Leave A Cheater, Gain A Life and From Abandonment to Healing.

Three weeks later Douchebag McGee decided he needed a weekend alone to reflect so he could come back and really work on our marriage since he was concerned I had disengaged a bit. He told me he wouldn’t be answering the phone because he really needed to be focused. The fucker even sent me a video text telling me he was going to take time to reflect so he could come back and be the husband I deserve. He ended the video with, “Just know that I love you” (should have heard “I’ll be banging my co worker this weekend but I’ll be thinking about you the whole time).

My best friend has mutual friends with homeslice and homeslice posted all over FB about her weekend with her man. Weekend ended…. he came to the house and told me he wanted to work on our marriage….I guess he couldn’t stop thinking about me while fucking her.

Needless to say, it’s been two years since the clusterfuck, I’m getting ready to sell our house; I get 100% of the proceeds (alienation of affection and criminal conversation is a great negotiation tool, if you have it in your state; especially since he married homeslice and doesn’t want her to know that about all of his attempts at wreckoncilation while they were simultaneously together; they are married now) and Douchebag McGee gets to pay spousal support for several years.

Life IS better. I was erratic during the beginning out of Fear. Fear keeps us trapped; fear can go fuck off, I will NEVER tolerate that kind of BS from anyone again.

Lady B
Lady B
5 years ago

Fuckin ay to that. We learn lessons through this pain and tune our bullshit detector!

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
5 years ago
Reply to  Lady B

Damn, you are awesome!

scaredandconfused
scaredandconfused
5 years ago

The classic: those condoms are old ones from when we were trying not to get pregnant (9 years ago?). And: I don’t wear my wedding band because it’s never been comfortable (he just realized this after 8 years of wearing it). Gosh, typing these out makes me feel like such a chump

champchump
champchump
5 years ago

At least your cheater used condoms. I got, “It was just a drunken one-night stand!” when I found out about the illegitimate son for whom my x had been secretly paying child support for 13 years.

The boy’s name is Mitchell, and he lives with his mother the one-night stand in Toronto, Canada. My family refers to him as “Mitchell Snow, Bastard of the North.”

ZENmaster
ZENmaster
5 years ago
Reply to  champchump

OMG! literally rolling on the floor laughing! Cool family you got there!

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
5 years ago
Reply to  champchump

My cheater husband did not use condoms with the AP I met. She had never had kids and wanted him to impregnate her. He was happy to oblige although he had a family (with chump wife, me). He offered to use condoms on me. I, the wife, started feeling like the OW!

KeepItMoving
KeepItMoving
5 years ago
Reply to  champchump

Omg. Mitchell Snow…I’m dying! ????

Born Free
Born Free
5 years ago

I got the masturbate one too. My therapist literally rolled her eyes.

DavidB
DavidB
5 years ago

Hey at least they used protection!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
5 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

I don’t trust that he was consistent in condom use in my case, but I do have some gratitude that I was personally lucky that I didn’t catch anything from his antics. (Given everything, though, I am sure his motivation would have been 100% driven by self interest, so my gratitude is universal and he doesn’t get any of it.) 😉

DavidB
DavidB
5 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Well she went 100 percent without condoms or birth control. Looking back, getting pregnant would have made me chuckle!

NoMoreLies
NoMoreLies
5 years ago

I heard the same about the wedding ring…said it was uncomfortable and that he didn’t like things on his hands (said very rationally – this was the first year we were married so never imagined there was some other reason). But years later after I found out about the cheating, he said it was “in protest” – he wanted me to beg him to wear it. It made him angry that I accepted his not wanting to wear it. SO many mind games…trying to make me feel unstable and insecure and saying the opposite of what he really wanted. Chumpy me took him at his word and didn’t suspect ulterior motives.

Mg
Mg
5 years ago
Reply to  NoMoreLies

He used to wear his wedding ring on 3rd finger. Granted, it was too big for his ring finger. Up until he took a different job that pit straim on his hands to the point that all his fingers looked like sausages. Especially the one he had the ring on. When i told him to release pressure and slide it over to his ring finger, it’s swollen and can accommodate the ring for a while, the damn fight he put up over it, Christ!of course it has *nothing* to do with the single mom Diva he sees and interacts with twice a day, yeah, nothing ????????????????.

And the hypocrisy is mind blowing. When, after 1.5 months of not a good word, no sex, no intimacy I walked in on him mid-stroking on the couch “taking a break from job search, trying to relax”…. i blew my stack. Stopped wearing my ring. He was sooo sowwwyyy…texted asking if I’ll please wear my ring again, “for him”. I told him that’s quite a cruel thing to ask of me, since he has no problem jizzing all over his ring multiple times a day while imagining fucking some random ho, and nothing left for me and our marriage. That shut him up about the ring issue.
Coincidentally, the “i wuv you, I’m sowwy” texts and attitude stopped when he started his new job and met Diva Lolobrigida, who he has to whute knight for because she has long nails…even tho the job requires working with your hands all day.

Hopeful
Hopeful
5 years ago

Mine blamed the condoms I found in HIS truck on our 14 year old virgin son. Not long after that, I found out about a Tinder account and he pinned that one on him, too. So I had a “come to Jesus” talk with my poor kid who had no clue what I was even talking about. I’m so ashamed that I believed my husband’s lies about our son.

Mommamarsh
Mommamarsh
5 years ago
Reply to  Hopeful

Hopeful, I had the same “talk” with my young teen son, too, after porn sites kept popping up on our computer. I confronted cheater ex about it first, and he played all innocent and blamed our son! Of course, son denied everything, because it wasn’t true!! So when I reported this back to scumbag cheater ex, he threw son under the bus again and accused him of lying! There truly are no limits to the depraved depths to which they will sink.

Jo
Jo
5 years ago
Reply to  Hopeful

Oh no, don’t feel bad about it. Things like this happen when dads cheat, and it’s why an abusive cheater like this can never be a truly “good dad.” Ever. Your son will understand in time what his father did & who he is as a man, and how his father’s behavior harmed him. Hugs to you.

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  Hopeful

That is horrible. Your poor son.

Letitsnow
Letitsnow
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

My cheater bought the condoms for the “talk” that never happened between him and out high school son, but the condoms disappeared.
What a fucker.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
5 years ago

One of mine is similar — “the condoms are gone because I use them to masturbate so I won’t leave a mess.”

Aieee.

cashmere
cashmere
5 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Sigh. Yup. Heard this condom excuse. As well.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Yeah, and I wear a dental damn so as not to swallow any mosquitoes! (eye roll)

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Nomoreskankboy- literally snorted when I read that!

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Lol!! (though in your neck of the woods, that could be a legitimate use)

Tempest
Tempest
5 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

I just posted the same “excuse” down below.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

“She has shown me some affection,” AND her vagina!

brit
brit
5 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I found unopened condom packages in his travel toiletry bag. We didn’t use condoms.
He said his sister put them in his toiletry bag as a “joke.”

chumpanzee
chumpanzee
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

Mine SHOWED me a pack of condoms he had bought from a gas station while we were on a weekend trip. I was like “why? you have a vasectomy and I had a hysterectomy a couple years ago.” So he gets all pouty and butthurt and says, “It was just to make things more exciting, see, this one has knobs, and that one is neon orange,” or some such bullshit. And I’m like “But I thought guys hate condoms, and you sure used to complain. Butthurt butthead says “Well if you’re going to be so negative about it, then fine, we won’t use them.” No sex at all that weekend as I remember.
What I think of this whole weird incident? He was buying them for whoever he was screwing at that time, and got some sort of sick perverted pleasure out of showing them to me and being sooo clever. Gah!

Notthatdamsel
Notthatdamsel
5 years ago

I got one! A full year before he announced he haz sadz, he let me know that he was let go during a corporate reshuffle, new CEO wanted his own exec team. I babied him for a month, told him how unfair, networked like hell for him. Four years later (2 years after divorce was final) I’m on a business trip meeting a client, a client the sadz ex referred to me as she was his old boss’ wife. She asks what’s new, I say the ex is getting remarried, she asks “To the woman he got fired for?” Wha…???? Turns out the executive shift was his getting fired for fraud. He and his howorker had been charging the company to find their international vacations, including one to an exotic resort in India. Fun trying to explain to client how I’m not really such a gullible dumbass…

GetMeFree
GetMeFree
5 years ago
Reply to  Notthatdamsel

Holy crap!

Angie
Angie
5 years ago

My ex and I were separated due to his drinking but trying to work through things. We had agreed that the separation did not include dating. Apparently he misunderstood and thought that boinking a local college girl and introducing her to our son was ok. Obviously the separation moved on to divorce. One weekend I went back to the house to start packing my things and he called me to over explain a pet fish. It wasn’t his! He was pet sitting! Not sure why I would care about a flipping fish in the house but thanks for the heads up. For whatever reason he thought the fish would be the give away that the girlfriend was living in the house that I was still contributing to the mortgage and bills for. He forgot to come up with a good excuse for her bras and the vibrating cock ring though…

Lothos
Lothos
5 years ago

My x told me she left her previous marriage (and abandoned her 3 kids) because her x-husband got the baby sitter pregnant and was constantly cheating on her.

Found out in the middle of my divorce that my x had an affair on her previous husband and that she was dragging her kids around on the dates. The reason she left and abandoned the three kids is because he found out about it.

So she came to America as an illegal and left the three kids with the father and then told everyone sad sausage stories (which where lies) about what happened.

To add more salt to the wound I recently found out that she may become a citizen. There is a secret immigration court where people can be convicted of a crime (sorta) and you can’t ever mount a defense. If this court determines you are guilty then the illegal becomes an American citizen. This happens with “alleged abuse”.

So it seems my X took advantage of this loophole in the law to become an American citizen by lying to them. She was going to received deportation papers later this year as Trump was not renewing TPS programs.

Seems like this sick jerks seem to always find a way to get ahead!

Lothos
Lothos
5 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

Forgot to mention the secret court. The defendent is never nmotified of it and you never are aware of the accusations that have been made against you.

Basically my X told this court I physically abused her and raped her (and our daughter). I found her in the public court when she accused me of that stuff and I wun (both times she tried). My daughter also told everyone she could that her mother was lying about that and it never happened.

Chompingchump
Chompingchump
5 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

That’s awful. I know someone who went through that. Accused of abuse after a whirlwind marriage so she could get citizenship.

AlohaFreedom
AlohaFreedom
5 years ago

There were so many ridiculous lies. The one that stands out the most is:

“I can’t possibly be sleeping with x, y and z. I was a virgin when I met you! My high school gf (and those others I mentioned dating) never wanted to have sex!”

struggling
struggling
5 years ago

He was going to meet his friend Steve for a bike ride. He grabbed a beach towel on his way out the door. Me: “What’s the beach towel for?” Him: “Oh, just in case I want to shower at Steve’s house after the bike ride”. Right. Because Steve doesn’t have towels.

Found out later he was boating with shmoopie.

Another one: Me: “You’re face is sunburned”. Him: “yeah I took a call at work today and went outside because it’s a beautiful day and I was out there for an hour. Me: “Take off your shirt”. The sunburn was severe and all over his chest stomach and back. What a stupid asshole. He was at the beach. He still insisted shmoopie wasn’t there. Yeah, right

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
5 years ago
Reply to  struggling

How about the sunburn which shows a large hand and arm across the lower back of the OW? Talk about a “red flag”!

Jenny
Jenny
5 years ago

“I never wear my wedding ring when I travel. I don’t want a potential terrorist to know I have a family.”

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

Too outrageous! What a knight!

“I don’t often protect my family from terrorists, but when I do, I always take off my wedding ring. Works every time.”

Honestly, it is a miracle any of us survived these delusional freaks and their mind-twisting lies.

Chumpiness
Chumpiness
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

Ha! Good one! Bonus points for making it sound like he cares. Mine never wore his for fear of losing a finger on a gun trigger. His go to military excuse.

Chickynot
Chickynot
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

LOL!!! I think we have a winner in the “hilariously stupid” category!!!

Lady B
Lady B
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

Oh fuck that takes the piss!

Smart Woman
Smart Woman
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

OMG that’s hilarious!

PrisonChump
PrisonChump
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

So crazy! Thanks for making my day!

Lost 220# Deadweight
Lost 220# Deadweight
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

Jenny-he’s a fucktard. Never had I heard the threat of terrorists. Wow!

brit
brit
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

OMG! Jenny, our cheaters were given the same terrorist briefing and security clearance. Cheater brought it to my attention, if by chance I noticed that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring, he didn’t want potential terrorists to know he has a family. My hero…

Cheater is a pilot for a major airline, he lost his wedding band or left it in his room at least three of four times while on trip. At that time he said he removed the ring because he was afraid the wedding band might get caught in something and he’d lose a finger which could end his career. I must have had a wtf look on my face because he continued.., what if I have to walk around the plane and look at the engines.. Being the Chump I am, I never questioned him.
Now that I’m thinking about it, don’t you look with your eyes not your fingers? Have you seen the size of a 757’s engine? Excuse the late arrival pilot dumbass had to climb inside the engine and make a minor adjustment. Good thing he isn’t wearing his wedding band, safety first.
X is incapable of fixing a lawn mower.
Can you picture that? how does anyone get their hand I that close to a planes engine fan?
I really think I could win the title of Queen Chump.. at least be in the top 5.

champchump
champchump
5 years ago
Reply to  brit

Brit, this is hilarious! I had to LOL at your ex climbing inside the 747 engine to make a minor adjustment…

nomar
nomar
5 years ago
Reply to  Jenny

Ah, the terrorism card. Haven’t heard that before. You were married to an international man of mystery: Cheater-as-007. Brilliant!

Trying for Mighty
Trying for Mighty
5 years ago

The Founding Lie:
When we were first beginning to get close to one another he told me how he’d protected a black man from his racist uncle. I thought I’d found a man who was compassionate, ethical, non-racist, willing to confront injustice, and courageous, that story went a long way to my opening up and trusting him. When I recounted this story to him not too long ago (I’m only ten days out in my own place), he said “That never happened. I was telling a lot of lies at that point in my life.”

Foundational Lie:
He was hiding his true sexuality from me.

struggling
struggling
5 years ago

WOW!!!

Twitching
Twitching
5 years ago

I’m not lying. You are just willfully oblivious.

struggling
struggling
5 years ago

It says duplicate comment but I don’t see it so trying again:

He was going to meet his friend Steve for a bike ride. He grabbed a beach towel on his way out the door. Me: “What’s the beach towel for?” Him: “Oh, just in case I want to shower at Steve’s house after the bike ride”. Right. Because Steve doesn’t have towels.

Found out later he was boating with shmoopie.

Another one: Me: “You’re face is sunburned”. Him: “yeah I took a call at work today and went outside because it’s a beautiful day and I was out there for an hour. Me: “Take off your shirt”. The sunburn was severe and all over his chest stomach and back. What a stupid asshole. He was at the beach. He still insisted shmoopie wasn’t there. Yeah, right

Chumptydumpty
Chumptydumpty
5 years ago

“I had to pull into a McDonald’s with bad diarrhea. There was no (cell) signal in the bathroom.”
– My ex’s explanation to our daughter & me, when he went MIA for 90 mins on his way to pick her up from college for Thanksgiving.
GPS nailed him at a massage parlor.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
5 years ago

“I was working late.”

He was always unemployed, and when he would get the occasional contract gig, he always ended up “working late” just before his contract ended. I ran into an old friend who confirmed he was fired from one job (the contract didn’t “just end”) because he used to cut and paste everything he wrote.

Other Kat
Other Kat
5 years ago

Mine was always working “in the vault,” a part of his office building that didn’t have cell phone reception, so he could rarely receive my calls at work. Find My Iphone tracked him to a “vault” alright, only it wasn’t in his office.

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
5 years ago
Reply to  Other Kat

Other Kat,

My partner (post-separation boyfriend), too! Mine works in the defense industry and had to work in vaults and go to places (couldn’t tell me where) for a few days now and then. He was probably telling the truth. However, he didn’t bother to tell me that my replacement, his work subordinate, worked a few desks away from him. So I give him ‘partial credit’ for sometimes telling the truth! However, 50% is still an ‘F’ in my gradebook!

My partner (husband/now ex-husband) didn’t have to try to hide much as 90% of his work was away from home. He virtually lived with his one of his APs while he was away from kids and me. His colleagues, the godfather of one of my kids all knew this. I was the last to know. Being a trusting chump, I didn’t find out until he confessed to me–a decade after he started cheating on me.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
5 years ago

Now I know his “working late” was code for “I’m fucking around with some skank I lied to at work.”

champchump
champchump
5 years ago

Yes, “working late” is a classic. As well as “going to watch the game with the boys.”

My ex would NEVER tell me when he was working late when he was actually working late. He’d just come home whenever. When he started fucking around, he’d ALWAYS tell me he was working late.

Chumpy me just thought he was finally getting considerate about letting me know.

peacekeeper
peacekeeper
5 years ago

I don’t know if anyone can understand this or if it happened to anyone else here, but I never experienced an open lie from cheater.
He just carried on with his life, that would be packing his duffel bag for work away, ( in which his brand new underwear was packed-which I had lovingly laundered and folded), and went out the door, happily driving off to his tru wuv’s open arms and vagina.
It was like to him I wasn’t really there, just something to pass by on the way out the door. No need to lie to me, just bypass an obstacle on the way to better pastures!
Geeeesh!
He, himself, is the big lie!

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
5 years ago
Reply to  peacekeeper

Happened to me, too. He found my replacement and continued “our” life (sans sons) with her. When I was doing the financial accounting to find the tens of thousands that disappeared, I found credit card posts from places we used to frequent, and where he was now bringing her. I used to wonder how he passed her off to the people at those places who knew me.

Pesky me wouldn’t “just die” as he had hoped. Hey, someone had to raise our sons, and they wanted nothing to do with his skanky “domestic partner.” That’s how he introduces her to people. Like she’s an obedient dog. Quite apt, actually.

I think my very (continued) existence pisses him off more than anything else in his life. Because discarded things should just disappear.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
5 years ago

ChutesandLadders, you’re not alone! My Nex and NexMIL just want me out of the picture. You can just discard and replace someone, right? I had a cancer scare this year, told him about it and…crickets. Why won’t I just disappear from planet earth so Schmoop and him can raise our kids as the perfect, happy family? Me breathing oxygen everyday is such a drag for them. Jesus cheaters are exhausting to deal with. It’s scary that such entitled people like them exist in this world.

Kibble-less
Kibble-less
5 years ago

Yes I had/have cancer and I scheduled surgery while he scheduled plane tix and hotel reservations for he and Schmoop. “They would never let me take off work short notice for your cancer surgery” = lie. I have not seen or talked to that woman” = lie. “There is No One’s reflection or shadow in the mirror, wall picture or TV screen and I am Alone in this hotel room” = lie. “Those charges for plane tickets and double occupancy hotel room are a mistake, airlines and hotels often make mistakes, I don’t know how HER name got on the reservations and receipts” = lie This was only for Aug 2016 (DDay #3 of 4)

I am a huge chump and this first lie should have been the ‘Early Warning System’ of all lies, “My dad is dead” (July 1992), one month later: “Here are the pics of me and my dad from this Spring, don’t we look alike? He lives in next town over” = lie I should have put the photos down and walked away right then and there, saved myself 25 years of lies lies and more lies. But I am a habitual chump and I have offspring with this cheater-troll and they are amazing and hopefully kids and I can live an authentically honest, disordered personality free life from now on. FYI: Divorce was a Tuesday

Should'veLeftTheFirstTime
Should'veLeftTheFirstTime
5 years ago