Oh the Places You’ll Go!

dark_placeYesterday a discussion broke out over the Places Cheaters Go.

My partner told me about all the “places” he visits as well. The dark place, the non-committal place, etc. … I guess he’s really into sightseeing?

And…

What are these “places” these cheaters go to, anyway? He’s in a good place. Huh? When my ex-husband was treating me cruelly before the separation/divorce and I couldn’t understand it, he explained to me that he was “in a dark place right now.” Of course that turned out to be code for Schmoopie’s vagina. Why not just tell me I was being re-placed? Oh yeah, I forgot… CAKE!!

 

Today’s Friday Fun assignment is to map the geography of cheater souls. Put together an Atlas, chumps, and help them find their way.

Subscribe
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

426 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kimberly
Kimberly
8 years ago

My ex of 30 years and 2 kids, liked to hinge on the boarders of drunken idiocy, asian porn video palace and I’m looking for a sugar Momma bar fly. Be careful what you wish for eh?

HopeIsGood
HopeIsGood
8 years ago
Reply to  Kimberly

My poor ex was “on a path” and before that he was apparently in the land of nod because now he is in an “awake” place which is also a “happy”place. He takes every opportunity he can to tell me this and als that I am apparently in a “sad, bitter”place according to him. Sad and bitter isn’t what I expected if that’s where I am, it feels more like freedomville, but what would I know, I am just a sad bitter scorned woman who can’t let her cheating ex go….

Freenow
Freenow
8 years ago
Reply to  Kimberly

STBX ability to compartmentalize and ability to lie still makes my mind reel with anger. He was texting a potential new Back Page whore while sexting with married AP all while having dinner and relaxing with our beautiful family. He could look you in the eye, when asked who he was texting, and lie; always work he would say.

When I confronted him I asked him how he could compartmentalize and lie like that, he said, “it’s something I’ve always been good at”. He was actually proud of his abilities.

Glad to be NC, in divorce process and working toward meh. Thank you CL for connecting many going through the same things. I’m cheater free now!

willowchumpx30
willowchumpx30
8 years ago
Reply to  Freenow

sounds like something my WH would do and say. the more I read the more proof they are all the same.

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
8 years ago

It feels really quite pathetic to me, that my cheater had the OW come right on in to our family home, on a weekly basis, for months, while he was home every Friday with the kids (one of my two work days). She was “a friend”, “just like you invite your girlfriends over for coffee”. I told him this was not appropriate and he just kept trying to gaslight me. I feel pathetic for loving him and trusting the lying bastard. So, the geography… under my roof, northern suburbs of Melbourne, Australia. And, then he left me for her, still not owning up to it for several more months.

I’ve never told him how he made me feel.

I hate him.

Kfl
Kfl
8 years ago

Mine was under my own roof as well….with the babysitter. Even after he had started having sex with her he still brought her into the house in front of me and my kids and slept with her in the guest room because “she needed help sleeping”. When I said it was inappropriate he told me that he paid for the majority of the mortgage so she could stay whenever she wanted and then told me to fuck off and go back to my room. My youngest daughter heard the entire thing. And he wonders why she doesn’t want to go to his place (he living with her now)

Maree
Maree
8 years ago
Reply to  Kfl

Kfl, what an awful situation you were in and I am just amazed. I have zero respect for your cruel ex but I have even less respect for that cheap and trashy babysitter. I would have torn her hair out of her head the little tramp. Together they will get their rightful dues. I am truly sorry but you are now free of the bastard and be grateful for that.

Kellia
Kellia
8 years ago
Reply to  Kfl

KFL – I can’t even tell you how revolting this is on ALL levels. He was having sex with the babysitter in his own home and then proceeds to sleep in her room with the entitled excuse that she’s having trouble sleeping. The level of disrespect and incredible betrayal he showed to you and his own children is unfathomable. This guy deserves to have his balls chopped off. The family home is sacred, and a wife and children, need to be protected and cherished. and to add insult to injury he states he can do whatever the hell he wants because he’s paying the mortgage. Reminds me of Arnold. It takes COMPLETE LACK OF CONSCIENCE to do that to your very own family. I wanted throw up when I read this, this guy is severally mentally disordered. I’m so very sorry this happened to you.

Jumper
Jumper
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

+1, I totally agree. So sorry you had to go through that KFL. He wins the prize today.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Kfl

“Heartless” doesn’t quite cover it. What he did is emotional abuse ramped up to the level of torture.

hesatthecurb
hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

@Klf “she needed help sleeping” ?!?!??!!??!!

O.M.F.G.!!!! That certainly supercedes any of the ridiculous reasons I had tossed my way as to an explanation of what part of the fuckedup atlas XBF had been slimeing around on…….

If there’s an available ‘award’ for this one, I think you won it though I am sure you don’t want it.

Torture, indeed……So very sorry you had to endure this.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
8 years ago

How it makes you feel is the thing they really don’t get. The choice is to feel some sympathy for their true inability to empathize or to hate them. I am personally in the “hate” camp right now. I suppose “meh” will require me to shift a tad towards empathy.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Meh doesn’t require empathy for the losers, merely indifference. I myself will find it difficult to ever have empathy for someone who wreaked as much havoc as my serial cheater (both to his family and to his sexual harassment victim/s), and who continues to lie, gaslight, and blameshift for his affairs.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

+1 Tempest… I anticipate large chunks of anger will leave my psyche as I get closer to Meh… And that anger will I anticipate be replace by a prolonged if not permanent state of schadenfreude as far as my X is concerned.

DoingMe
DoingMe
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

+1

kb
kb
8 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Anger and hate are useful as tools to help Chumps take steps to leave their Cheaters. However, like all tools, these emotions need to be put away.

I do think it’s possible to be both angry at them and sad for them. And angry that they can’t see what they’re doing and sad that they can’t see it.

In my own case, I am in the final stages of moving out of the marital home, which my cheater is supposed to refinance. He’s in violation of the decree, as he’s over 4 months past the deadline. He can’t refinance because he’s totally tanked his credit. In his fantasy world, he’ll liquidate the remaining part of his retirement (what I didn’t get) to pay off the house. I don’t think he’s accounted for taxes and early withdrawal penalty. He will be destitute, and Schmoopie will leave him for some other married man who’ll foot her lifestyle.

I can see he’s miserable, and I know that his future is grim. Would I take him back? Never! But I can see the destruction of a human being there, and that is sad. I know that this is 100% of his own making, and that’s sad, too. He chose this.

Make no mistake. I’m angry at him and will be glad to see the last of him. My anger propelled me to file for divorce and to create a settlement that was very advantageous to me. But now that I’m at the stage where the need for anger has passed, I’m also able to see that he’s managed to waste his life. And that’s sad, even if I have zero desire to be part of that life.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

kb, you are clearly a kind soul. Your sympathy is wasted on your ex, however, as not only will he never see that what he did was wrong, he is going to blame you 100% for his coming financial hardship and any related problems. You can bet on that.

junglechump
junglechump
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

kb I also feel, through my anger, my STBXH is an idiot and seriously doesnt understand life and is now suffering by his own makings… it really is sad. But its more sad what he did to me and our daughter.

Sometimes I wonder if years of drugs/booze/head trauma from road rage accidents really did cause brain damage… Not spackling here… I just really wonder. Look up frontal lobe damage syndrome…

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  junglechump

Thank you junglechump…satan is a major alcoholic…his whole family is. his sister died before she was 50 from drinking…they all began drinking at very young ages… Wow. I never read about frontal lobe damage syndrome before. Looks like satan may be a candidate. he certainly fits the description… I read about alcoholism and saw him there in the 4th stage description…but I never read about this before. Sad…very sad. Wow.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  junglechump

Drugs and booze will do it. My XH (substance abuser, not Jackass the Cheater) pretty much single-handedly destroyed his life with this stuff. Poor health, a divorce that halved his resources, and emotional estrangement from everyone. Drugs, especially the widely abused opiate prescription drugs, and alcohol destroy both brain and body.

had-it
had-it
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

kb, I feel you ….
after 35 years of marriage, I see him totally destroying everything he worked for…. Divorce was final end of May, Him and the 29 year old “most fantastic person he ever met” off to Florida in June to celebrate, come back and they buy a new house together, new furniture ( I know cause he sent the bill to me) new electronics (I know cause he tried to change the perks program that was under our sons name to him and the sluts new address), bought her a new motorcycle, back to Florida in October for a “get away” and a Cruise in January….. Now he cant pay the 7000.00 of his share of what he owes on work that was done on our dream home when we had to sell it…..
He was a public figure in our small community, well respected and admired by many. Our two kids and I thought he was the best… now he has only her, which im sure she will be finding greener pastures since the money is drying up. At 58 I don’t see retirement for him for a long long time, He is a total laughing stock, Kids haven’t talked to him since I told them of the affair (he didn’t have the balls to do it) I’ve got a new baby granddaughter that at this point, he will never meet let alone get to love…. anger at him is really diminished (but NOT at the slut) … at this stage more like pity, and total thankfulness on how blessed I am… THANK YOU CL and CN for keeping me strong, sane and on the right track!!!

Brittneyk
Brittneyk
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

I agree with all of your post except they don’t see. Oh they see what they are doing, they just don’t give a shit. Unless a cheater has Brain damage they are fully capable of grasping they are terrible people they just don’t care. That’s why you have to get away from them because it’s easy for them to destroy you. You gotta choose yourself because they never will.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Brittneyk

People who think a new partner is the answer to the black hole where their hearts should be are not tethered to reality. They are always in the moment, hunting for kibbles and cake, And we are all just bit players in their lives. To the extent that they think ahead, they believe they can control us, the court system, and the entire universe in order to make their fantasized future a reality. Whether they are the organized kind of cheater (hiding assets, plotting, etc.) or the kind that just wings it and believes in Twu Wuv, they are always involved in magical thinking based on their own centrality.

Kellia
Kellia
8 years ago
Reply to  Brittneyk

Yes they know what they are doing. Why else to they hide the cheating?

hesatthecurb
hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

@Kellia—-EXACTLY!!!!! Of course they know everything that they do. Takes careful planning to pull of the deceitful shit they do.

Sashakane
Sashakane
8 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

Dixie Chump – I am patiently awaiting the arrival of “meh” My ex (5 weeks) brings his latest for jogs in my neighborhood and drinks in the neighborhood bar by my house (though his soulmate (of 3 months) lives in another town!?) And he left me! (not for this soulmate but for the one before her)
He also brings her to my kids’ sporting events. How in the world is this ever not going to bother me?!
“Meh” where are you?!? Chump Lady, is “meh” real?!?!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Sashakane

Can only speak for myself, and my own journey to Meh involved not only recovering from infidelity but a lot of looking at a picker that was set to “be attractive to someone who can’t reciprocate your feelings,” such as substance abusers and other disordered sorts. I got to Meh when I had grown enough to understand that no part of my happiness is controlled by what others do or say. That doesn’t mean I can’t be hurt or sad or infuriated by what people do or grief-stricken by real tragedy. It’s that I won’t let the choices of other people stop my enjoyment of my own life, my connection to the people who love and support me.

People come and go in our lives. It’s hard to let go of those we gave our love and time. It’s hard not to keep focusing on them–where the go, whom they live with, what they do. But I won’t give Jackass another moment of my attention, other than to remind myself not to repeat past mistakes and to continue to learn about my tendency to give away my judgment and my power to people who are not worthy of it. I’m lucky–I don’t have kids with Jackass. But the fact that so many chumps are tied to Cheaters and their APs through children makes it all the more important for people to focus on their own lives–and to stop renting space in our minds and hearts to them. Every time we have to interact with these people or their friends and relatives is a chance to reassert the importance of our own lives. The other day, someone here gave the advice for chumps to write letters to their attorneys and merely copy them to the Cheater, thereby demoting them from their place of centrality to being a “copy” of a document sent to someone of actual importance. I’m not sure yet how that translates into actual human contact, but I’m pretty sure it can. The task is how do we demote the Cheater and AP into “copies’ or footnotes in our lives? When we stop caring about what they do and whom they do it with, we’re at Meh. And that is totally in our own control.

Virago
Virago
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Sweet summation, LaJ. Demotion is Grey Rock in action.

Blackbird
Blackbird
8 years ago
Reply to  Sashakane

Sashakane – 5 weeks is so early into this, you are probably still in shock or still weeping and raw. You have a long way to go butt I know you will get to Meh. But before you get to Mehh,, you do have to feel all the feelings — give yourself time…

gotadog
gotadog
8 years ago
Reply to  Sashakane

Meh is real,-, i know, I’ve had glimpses of it gently grazing in the mist. But its a timid elusive beast- its in the same family as the more common Meh-ish. You will probably see that one first 🙂
Hang in there!

MightyAgain
MightyAgain
8 years ago

You are not alone ChocLemGelato, I used to feel sick thinking that I was that dumb, that blind! Until I finally saw it exactly for what it was – that they were the ones that were Fucked up! We are supposed to trust our spouses and our friends.

My Cheater Ex and OW (20 yrs younger and married), who befriended me came to my home many times for 4 years, and here’s the best part – I invited her, She’d call me “what you guys doing tonight?” me – oh nothing, come over, have dinner with us” She worked with him… this went on for 4 years. This is the part that I could not forgive, that he allowed her into our home!! That he allowed her to sit at the dinner table with our kids – after just having fucked her at work. Or faking an “On-call” call – to go meet her, after we just had dinner together! That is the cruelest and most disrespectful.

After he finally admitted it all.. He said many times, how he was in a dark place at that time – yeah in a dark place at the Guest Suite, her home, the car and probably my home,!!! He did say that he never never wanted to get divorced, that makes him even more horrible – that he actually expected to carry on with the Schmoopie Skank with me in the picture. What a narcissist! She went back to her Chump husband! So glad I did divorce his ass!

somuchhurt
somuchhurt
8 years ago
Reply to  MightyAgain

I can relate to the AP being a friend. And I still don’t know which betrayel hurts worse-hers or his? She moved into my neighborhood years ago and had a lot of issues in life and I befriended her, was good to her, and helped her in many ways. And to find out she threw her self at my husband just tore me apart.

I talked to her once on the phone right after DDay and she told me herself she heavily persued him even after he told her no. I wish I would have just beat the shit out of her!

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
8 years ago
Reply to  somuchhurt

Plus one!

My “friend” for 34 years (and his cheating exgf!) I felt for her. Single mum. Lonely. Poor sausage. Thing was, he was putting his sausage inside her while we holidayed together, in our holiday house, while our childten were there, came for dinner, I looked after her son, etc, etc….poor little sad sausages. Fuckers. Just about killed me. But my small town thinks I’m a meanie for not forgiving him because “he’s so sorry, was so fucked up at the time, and is gutted and a lovely guy.” Yeah. He is. But he broke my fucking heart, gaslighted me for nearly two years, and gave me terrible diseases, robbed my kids of their sane mother for several years afterwards. Yep. I’m the bad guy for not just getting over his breakdown.

somuchhurt
somuchhurt
8 years ago
Reply to  horsesrcumin

I was so naïve I just thought this was something women didn’t do to each other I thought that was a code lol….some days I still struggling believing this has actually happened! I don’t believe I will ever forgive her or my ex and to be honest I don’t want to – they knew exactly what they were doing assholes

Living happy
Living happy
8 years ago
Reply to  MightyAgain

Mighty again I can totally relate. We are too nice. While the husband of our friends was being transferred overseas we invited the wife and two daughters to stay with us between the time their house sold and they had to leave. For two weeks I welcomed this woman in my home only to find out later she and my then husband were deep into an affair. We are kind and gracious to a fault. And it is so incredibly wrong that people can take advantage of us. No more.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  Living happy

Mighty and Living, same thing here…my bf of over 30 years had a years long affair with satan…there are rumors her daughter is his… When she was struggling through her first divorce I opened my home, my heart to her… Blackbird is right these types are dysfunctional and evil. We are so lucky to have gotten away from all of them when we did.

Blackbird
Blackbird
8 years ago
Reply to  Living happy

Wow, living happy, what a pair of scum-bags! I Know the outrage is hard to deal with, but I hope it helps if I say that any halfway decent human would hear that story and immediately identify your x and his skank as totally sick, dis functional humans.

Thankful
Thankful
8 years ago

CLG, I know it is no comfort, but let me just say you are not alone.
I have for the passed 4 years watched the husband of a good friend be very chummy with the wife of his so called best mate. When he refused to give my friend his phone records 2 years ago she ended the marriage. he quickly moved on to a relationship with a work colleague while still going to events, concerts, and any other thing possible with his mates wife. both of them the whole time claiming they are just friends, she is a good christian who would dare doubt her. but non of us were dumb. a week before my friend and I flew to New York to escape my XH remarrying. we discovered that the mate and his wife are now officially separated and the two “friends” are shacking up.

Don’t feel pathetic, you are just a chump and you are in great company.

Blackbird
Blackbird
8 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Thankful – I don’t post often these days, but am so happy to hear you had a trip to NY after all you’ve been through. I’m an Aussie chump so love to hear the success of other Aussie champs and from memory, you were not just fucked over by your ex but by your entire faith community. You are truly mighty!

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
8 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Oh, Thankful, that’s such a sickening thing for your friend to have experienced and for you to have witnessed. Power to her for taking the decision to end it! I’m impressed. I often find myself wondering if I would have ever left my ex, even though he was increasingly parading the OW around under my nose for four or five months (lying and minimising the entire time). I feel less pathetic these days, and to be honest, I guess that I think he’s the pathetic one.

Anne
Anne
8 years ago

CLG,

I know that you don’t think anyone of us are pathetic for trusting our husband or wife and for buying the lies that they’ve told, or for them gas-lighting us, or the hundreds of other things that they’ve done. Show yourself the same compassion you feel for others here. None of us are pathetic, we’re just humans who couldn’t recognize another species and had no idea of what to do once we did. Be kind to yourself and be mighty.

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
8 years ago
Reply to  Anne

Anne, you’re spot on. Thank you. It’s just a feeling that creeps over once in a while… you know what I mean? I do need to truly show myself compassion… I don’t think I’ve quite got the hang of that just yet. I’m almost two years out from his big announcement that I don’t meet his needs, with my eldest currently in grade 1, my middle in kinder (almost 5) and my youngest in pre-kinder years (almost 3). I have many many more years to deal with the ex… I can’t wash my hands completely of him just yet. I’ll say though, that I’m secretly glad he’s revealed now, as opposed to twenty years later. The betrayal is as great, I’m sure of it. However, my new life begins now and not twenty years from now.

Anne
Anne
8 years ago

I do know what you mean and I sympathize with all chumps who have to deal with children in the mix. My youngest was 20 on the first dday and 21 on the second and last dday. The betrayal and what if’s and what the fucks are so huge after 27 years, and I know I would still be a puddle of self-doubt and shattered self-confidence if it weren’t for CN. I still have really rotten days, but every day gets better. When I find a statement on this website that means something to me, I write it down in the notes on my cell phone. I have a bunch, but I’ve been putting the positives toward the top. Here’s a few:
1. I am mighty (always number 1)
2. Effort is sexy
3. I didn’t cause it, I cannot cure it, and I cannot control it.
4. I deserve better

It goes on, but really I’m working on me now and people who are not helpful don’t deserve a place in my world, Mehland on the long trip down Chump boulevard (avoid the round-abouts, their fucking brutal).

chris1731
chris1731
8 years ago
Reply to  Anne

Hang in there Brit an others.
I’m only a year out after 25 years with my cheating 1st grade teacher X-Wife. The advice here is great. I only wish I had grasped and understood really what was going on earlier with my then wife…. so many lies. I really thought I was the crazy one.

The negative thoughts from being devalued continue to dissipate slowly, and I’m beginning to finally see the hope and light of a better future.

Chris

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  Anne

Brit, satan did that to me too. he said and did things that cannot be taken back or made right. I filed. he flipped out and tried love bombing me…asshole. I went NC and tried to hold on to my sanity and health. I did not feel safe in the world and I was certain I was going insane. Everything he said and did was playin on a loop I couldn’t stop. It took great effort not to internalize his evil bullshit. Nothing they say to us or do to us is because of anything we did…they are like bullies on the playground. They live to frighten, confuse and hurt others. It pumps them up and keeps em going. They really are without empathy or compassion…alien assholes. I am now a year and a half from finalizing my divorce and lovin my drama free life. You will get here I promise 🙂 Trust that there is an end to the evil bastard fooling with your life. You will stand up and dust his dirt off yourself and smile in the sunshine…he, on the other hand, will still be exactly who he is and the truth will be told. Stay mighty Brit! You got this! And its wonderful!

Brit
Brit
8 years ago
Reply to  Anne

Thank you Anne for posting, it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who still has bad days, feeling crushed. X left our 20 year marriage because he decided he wanted something different. X has done everything imaginable and more to destroy me. I live in constant fear of what he will do or say next.
I’ve never known anyone who could be so cruel, and callous. All without any remorse or regret..pure evil.
I’m going to use your suggestion to write a list of positive statements from CN, I’ve started with the four you listed. I don’t know where I’d be without CN and people like you who post.
I needed to be reminded to stay focused on me, thank you.

Marked711
Marked711
8 years ago

Yes, he is the pathetic one. I’ve come to the same conclusion about my exW. When I told people that she was trolling for old high school boyfriends, and hooked up with one from 30 years ago, they laughed. One friend said “that is so pathetic”, and it hit me that that was the word I was looking for. They are pathetic losers. Trust that they suck! Be strong.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Marked711

She’s pathetic, but it’s still excruciatingly painful, Marked711.

Marked711
Marked711
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

You are so right. And I thought she was really special until dday. Boy was I fooled.

Meg
Meg
8 years ago
Reply to  Marked711

My XH left me and OW1-5 for high school friend from 1973. It took him 40 years to find her again. What is lower than pathetic? Oh, yeah, pathological!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
8 years ago
Reply to  Meg

For what it’s worth, here’s my experiences with The Evil One going back for seconds with old middle school and high school loves:

When TEO was in Jr. High, he dated a girl named “Sally” for a couple years, then she moved to Texas and they broke up, but he tried to get back together with her off and on over the years- until he met me in 2002 (more on that in a sec.)…now, the story goes that they were trying to work things out- he fled to TX to hide out with her after yet another criminal escapade, and she and her parents allowed him to stay there for a few weeks then her mom sent him packing because he (GASP!!! SURPRISE!!!) Did “nothing around the house, didn’t get a job, wouldn’t do chores, etc.”….when he returned home, he called her and Sally told him that the little girl that was at the house a lot when he was there was actually his daughter and he would never see him again….Fast forward to 2015, and thanks to social media, TEO and Sally re-connected in which he spent 4-5 months promising her the moon and stars and swearing on our daughter’s life that he was leaving me for her and that I didn’t want our daughter and that they were going to raise my daughter together…when Sally was about to pack up her house and move up here from her state, TEO then told her that he just spent the last 4-5 months lying to her and had no intention of being with her (brace yourselves) “in retaliation for lying to me about our baby all those years ago!!!”

Sally contacted me via Facebook about 6 weeks or so after he broke up with her, and told me everything. Apparently, she was indeed pregnant with his child but miscarried at about 3-4 months, but for some reason, TEO thinks she was lying about ever being pregnant at all and denies telling him that about his “daughter” with her… crazy, disordered freak!!!!As crazy as some of what she told me was, I had no problem believing her!!!

Supposedly, he was in touch with her back in 2002, but “dumped” her again when he met me (i.e. found a better deal with me).

There were a few other old high school girlfriends TEO tried to re-connect with back then too, but I guess they were all smarter than Sally.

Along those same lines, my EXH#1 has done that over the years since our divorce- trying to hook up with old loves, never worked out for them either.

Idiots, the lot of them!!!!

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Meg

Has anyone read (or seen the John Cusak film-version of) High Fidelity? In the story, Rob’s (Cusak’s) girlfriend, Laura, a lawyer, (Iben Hjejle) [punctuation be damned] leaves him for Ian (Tim Robbins in a hilarious role). Rob goes on a quest seeking all his past loves. Apparently, Rob is sure he missed the meaning-of-life and these women are meant to help him sort it out. Anyone tried this in-real-life? Seems like a recipe for disaster to me. (If not a fun stroll down easy-pickings lane.)

Linden
Linden
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

I’ve seen it. As I recall, it was an embarrassing disaster for Rob, too.

Kellia
Kellia
8 years ago
Reply to  Meg

Contacting an ex from high school is an easy target. I see this happen often with my girlfriends, where a long lost boyfriend of theirs from the high school era (20+ years ago) all of a sudden contacts them. Upon getting more info, we realize the guy is going through a divorce and lo and behold, my girlfriend has always been the “ONE”! Really?? For 20+ years, he went off, married someone else, had children, created a family, and now my girlfriend is the ONE? Rrrrrrright. These cheaters don’t want to put in any effort and social media gives them the perfect lazy tool, e.g. Facebook, Linkedin.etc. It’s much easier than getting dressed, going out, spending money, courting someone new all over again, when they can easily reconnect in a lazy way with someone they knew 20 years ago. Flush, next, delete.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Chumpity Chump Chump – A great Karma story and quote from your mom, thank you for your comment :)!

Chumpity Chump Chump
Chumpity Chump Chump
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Ahhh yes the recycling of old romances. Mine went back to his ex wife. 25yrs after their divorce. ( we were together 22) Moved her across the country to start anew.

The whole love bombing, it’s was a mistake when she divorced him!? He was cruel for sport…said it was to help me get over him. How thoughtful of him.

The best part is I got to see the Karma bus run over them and within 8 months she was moving back across the country. Poor thing called me to tell me how hurt he was that their relationship didn’t work out!! Poor baby! The best part is he started to try and woo me back. Oh hell NO! Poor thing didn’t want to be alone and we had a “special kind of love”

As my Mom told me dating an ex is just the “same shit different decade”

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Asked and answered.

Chumpish
Chumpish
8 years ago
Reply to  Marked711

Hmmm. The x was trolling for old high school gf from 30 yrs. ago, too. Oh, the places you’ll go. . . 30 yrs ago. Conveniently located between embarrassing and pathetic.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpish

chumpish, “Conveniently located between embarrassing and pathetic” LMAO!!!!

Marked711
Marked711
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpish

Was he in Austin? My ex is in Texas now.

yooper01
yooper01
8 years ago
Reply to  Marked711

The OW in my case was from Buda Tx right outside Austin. My husband and I living in Wisconsin. She started trolling men from 45 yrs back in her life. Getting a hold of them on Facebook. She was living in a women’s shelter with 4 kids in Austin. Her husband divorcing her for having an affair. Bringing the younger man in their home when he was working. Lucky me my husband sucked right in to her crap. You would of thought she would of liked the “Long horn state” more then my X’s short horn. But any port in a storm.

kaycan
kaycan
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpish

Love this!

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago

Oh yeah, the comparison with your own social habits. I heard it too. Parading a girlfriend from Moscow he had met on line was equivalent to me inviting my american cousin. Right.

Thankful
Thankful
8 years ago

my cheater dwelled in a place full of compartments, because when I asked how he could fuck another man, remain with me and go to church and engage in ministry he stated, “well as i told gullible the elder I just compartmentalised it all”

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

My X justified his affair by describing his ability to compartimentalize his life. That’s when I retired my Olympic-level spackling skills, and paid my lawyer’s retainer.

Location is really of little importance, because my X sucks no matter where he went, is currently located, or will go.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Ah, yes, the compartmentalization of Home life as dad-who-attends-back-to-school-nights and is home-every-night-for-dinner, versus the Professor life, filled with graduate student pussy and conference fucks and (when that wasn’t exciting enough) trysts with strangers from Ashley Madison on the lunch hour.

Sionara
Sionara
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

So true, Tempest. From another who has lived with a lying, cheating profesor with decades of conference fucks under his belt.

This2ShallPass
This2ShallPass
8 years ago

Our neighborhood bars drunk and flirty, his friend’s bachelor pads, out of town work trips and (saving the best for last…. his car (yes I have photos of him in his car jacking off while his AP was facetiming him) (oh forgot to mention car parked at our elementary school).

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  This2ShallPass

I know someone whose brother-in-law now has a sex offense for urinating into a fountain while drunk at an elementary school. If your photo shows that it is clearly the elementary school lot, your X/STBX could have grounds for getting onto the sex offender registry.

Sicko.

Kay
Kay
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

He probably deserves to be on the sex offenders list.

Bev
Bev
8 years ago

This “bad place/dark place” must have secret super powers that wipes out memory because none of the cheaters that have been there can remember who they banged, when they banged them or how many times it happened ?

DavidB
DavidB
8 years ago
Reply to  Bev

It is interesting that once caught, they seem to be so traumatized by their actions that they cant remember what they have done. The names, dates, actions, all become horrible memories that have been blocked from their brain.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

She remembers, David. She just doesn’t care enough about you to tell you.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Or she enjoys the game of “I know something you don’t know.”

DavidB
DavidB
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Well this I am very aware of. My post was somewhat sarcastic…. but that’s her storyline and yes its all bullshit!

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
8 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

Your sarcasm was not lost on me DavidB but I do so wish there was a sarcasm font we could all use!

Raging
Raging
8 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

Even people who remember every detail, small things that happened decades ago, can’t remember any of what really happened in an affair.. they remember one time, but everything beyond that is a fog…

ChumpyKindofLove
ChumpyKindofLove
8 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

Oh yes and they “don’t know” how some bar whore they met in another state showed up to a hotel in a DIFFERENT state – by using a plane ticket his bought with his credit card. “How did she get there?” Uh, I dunno!

Thankful
Thankful
8 years ago
Reply to  Bev

yes it has the capacity to remove, names, dates, times.

or do all cheaters have some form of sex induced amnesia?

virago
virago
8 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Or hyperthymesia, where they reveal excessive detail ~~ all in the name of ‘transparency’. “Don’t want you to hear this from someone else, Virago.”

He was actually bragging!! In an adolescent tone and demeanour.

“Virago, any more KIBBLES?”

TheMuse
TheMuse
8 years ago
Reply to  virago

Virago, my pathological Ex did this too. We were having yet another discussion about his cheating when he blurted out, “It just HAPPENED, OK, Muse? It’s not like she stuck her big tits in my face, or wagged her pussy in my face!” Um. OK. In another post DDay convo, he blurted out, “I don’t know where you get this idea it was all hearts and flowers with her, Muse – it was JUST “sex” – OK??” I’m sure OW never would have believed him talking about her in these vulgar terms. He also smiled as he told me that he’d spent 3 days “talking and fucking” at her house, just prior to my discovery via cell phone records of his 50+ calls a day to Whore. I never asked for these details. He smiled in my face as he told me. That was when I started to realize that he hated me.

Tessie
Tessie
8 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

Ouch for both of you Virago, Muse. What jerks. The “This is what I get to do cause I’m so special…. and I will brag about cheating and the skank right to your face…and revel in your pain…so what are you going to do about it bitch.”….blues. Very painful. I hate both your exes too on your account.

Cheater ex did the same thing to me. I did not react as he had hoped as I have the ability to control my reactions, courtesy of my double narc FOO. Fixed him with a cool stare and just said ” Really. Hmmm” He went on to sing her praises. That’s when I knew he hated me too.

Same playbook, assholes, all of them.

Virago
Virago
8 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

Nope, TheMuse. No normal person could hate you.
I think he hates himself.
And BTW, I hate him too!
xxx

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

It’s like dextromethorphan,which causes amnesia in rats (apologies to rats for the analogy).

Jeanette
Jeanette
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

LOL !!

nomar
nomar
8 years ago

My ex-wife was waaaaay into online video games and included dudes she met there among her APs. When caught she explained, “It was like playing life on Easy Mode.” You know, the mode of playing a video game where the normal rules of what you can’t do don’t apply (often referred to as “cheats”)?

New flash: you’re a 44 year old mom with your own business. You’re supposed to be able to handle things that aren’t always easy. Also, we live IN REAL LIFE.

Life without a codependent, chumpy kibble machine (me)? I’m guessing: not so easy.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  nomar

They just arrested a suspect in the UT Austin murder this week. He’s apparently waaaay into MineCraft. Beware, these zombies-of-death are multiplying.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Sounds like “easy” fits her to a T.

HM
HM
8 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Mine wasa gaming obsessed loser. He even wore the headset so he could get into fights with 14-year old boys about whatever it was that they were shooting. Lol. Definitely upgraded by dumping him.

Cindy
Cindy
8 years ago
Reply to  HM

He was probably yelling at my XH.

The Marine Major I dated after XH divorced me for Schmoopie always got a kick out of how XH’s rank on Call of Duty was higher than Marine’s rank after serving for a year in Iraq. XH lives in a place of fantasy – where he is a general and Schmoopie is an honorable lady.

300lbsLighter
300lbsLighter
8 years ago
Reply to  Cindy

Oh, that’s funny!

JBaby
JBaby
8 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I’m surprised there aren’t more gaming-obsessed cheaters. It’s such an escapist behavior. And certainly entitled behavior, especially when there are children to raise, because adulting cannot happen when you can’t pull your eyes away from that screen, and faithful partner is usually forced to pick up the slack.

Jenni D
Jenni D
8 years ago
Reply to  JBaby

My husband was super into anything online – which then became an obsession with Second Life. He had 2 affairs (that I know of) with women he met on Second Life, including flying out of state to meet up with them. The last time he did this, I was on chemo and too weak to do anything about it, much less leave. Finally, he hooked up with a local whore he met on FetLife. God only knows what else he was up to, I saw tons of texts and emails, until he got another email account and started locking up his phone and other devices. Lesson learned: if I ever get involved again, and they are way too into anything online or live on their phones – BYE BYE!!

kb
kb
8 years ago
Reply to  JBaby

I play online games, and I’ve been with my online community enough that we’ll notice people who spend an unhealthy amount of time online–especially if they’re married to non-gamers. Marriage and family come first. Those married to non-gamers will prioritize their spouses and children, and often play only once or twice per week.

Those married to gamers will invariably play together.

I was always very careful with my gaming time because I didn’t want it to eat into the time I had with my ex-husband. He was, I thought, always so busy working late due to his IT job. When he was home, my attention was focused on him to the point where one of the younger people I played with (a 14-year-old who’s since grown up and gotten a real job) commented that I spent a lot of time trying to do things for my husband–what did my husband do for me?

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago

My cheater went places physically: Riga (Latvia), Carcassonne (France), Venice and Bergamo (Italy), Sofia (Bulgaria). He totally associated the thrill of discovering new places with the Russian cow who played the role of tourist guide while coveting my life. “I thought you would never want to visit these places, bwaaaaa !” he said after D day.

ANC
ANC
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpFromF

Bergamo, really?? After living in northern Italy for years, that is like a down-downgrade to Bellagio. I love Bergamo, but it’s like taking your fuckbuddy to that Paris place in Las Vegas instead of the real deal in France.

Kar marie
Kar marie
8 years ago

Asswipe in still in the dark place cause he doesnt know what he wants. Claims he never knew. Hahahahaha! Some never grow up.

Justin
Justin
8 years ago

My ex repeatedly chanted: “Elizabeth Gilbert says the Universe places me right where I need to be; I’m just going with the flow; it’s all good.”
It took me a little while to understand that I’m just not welcome in that Universe; it flowed me right out of it; it wasn’t all good…

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Justin

If anyone needs any further reason to hate Gilbert, here ya go: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/28/magazine/confessions-of-a-seduction-addict.html?_r=1

with this oh-so-admirable quote, “If the man was already involved in a committed relationship, I knew that I didn’t need to be prettier or better than his existing girlfriend; I just needed to be different. (The novel doesn’t always win out over the familiar, mind you, but it often does.) The trick was to study the other woman and to become her opposite, thereby positioning myself to this man as a sparkling alternative to his regular life.”

and CL’s essay on Gilbert:
https://www.chumplady.com/2015/06/eat-pray-kibble/

Amehzing1836
Amehzing1836
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Thanks Tempest, can’t believe I missed that one. When the book first came out, I couldn’t get past the first chapter without thinking what a nassicistic load of drivel. An ex-friend was raving about it, turned out she was sleeping with a guy who had an “open marriage” – yeah right wonder if his wife knew hence one of the (many) reasons she’s been dropped along the path. I had a friend who does reiki massage and healing, she described what she saw with me a large tree with strong roots and a long tap root, white light, love and encouragement. A while later we spoke about the ex and turned out she had massaged him (a present I’d given him before we’d separated) and she’s seen black tentacles writhing out of where his heart should have been, spewing out black oil and covering everything around him! turned out to be an excellent metaphor for our lives and the places we came from!

TheMuse
TheMuse
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Elizabeth Whore-bert

hesatthecurb
hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Regarding the Gilbert drivel Tempest shared above:

Well, I can definitely say that all the other women were certainly ‘DIFFERENT’ than me. Indeed they were my ‘Opposite’–they were morally bereft slugs, pathetic colluders, etc.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Justin

Because apparently all of that nasty flow from her vagina carried her away to the Isle of Prick. Stupid fucking Elizabeth Gilbert. Add her to my wish-list of plane-crash victims.

TheMuse
TheMuse
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Gilbert is a whore.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Justin

That’s a sad and sorry interpretation of a pretty awesome idea–that the sum total of the decisions you have made have taken you to the place you find yourself. In chump terms, we find ourselves on D-Day because we got involved, unwittingly, with a cheater and then spackled and fought to keep the relationship. For cheaters, they find themselves bi-locating because they made a decision to have cake in multiple cases. And after a long journey of hard work and going in the right direction, we end up at Meh.

Justin
Justin
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylovemademedoit/ “yes, EAT PRAY LOVE made me do it…”

TheMuse
TheMuse
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

My Ex was fond of talking about the Universe, too. He said, “the Universe is laughing at me” when he found out Schmoopie’s ex husband was a good friend of ours twenty years ago. You see, this made it difficult for Schmoopie to come visit him in her exhusband’s best friend’s house, where Ex was holed up after I kicked him to the curb. To my Ex and all other narcs, I give the timeless advice I read somewhere: Yes. the Universe cares about you, because you are a pimple on the ass of the Universe.

StrawberryJellyfish
StrawberryJellyfish
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Ahhh, yes, the Universe often gives signs to privileged white people. Because the universe has nothing better to do with itself.

https://youtu.be/6eqCaiwmr_M

Virago
Virago
8 years ago

Couldn’t open that version in my country. So, for those who had difficult (praying the link is accepted by WordPress):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZFLbMN28rw

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
8 years ago
Reply to  Virago

Thanks V. Works in Aus.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago

Please don’t let Amy Schumer turn out to be a Cheater. Without Schumer and Wanda Sykes, I’d have given up on women all-together.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

loved it! (and the fact that Bill Nye can do comedy, too, just confirms his status as sexiest nerd ever)

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
8 years ago

Oh God. This is SO off topic, but I have a close (middle aged female) friend who totally believes that bullshit and makes a good living selling that drivel to OTHER (middle aged female) individuals who also believe it!!!! Thanks for posting!

Bev
Bev
8 years ago

That was so funny?? made my morning!!

JBaby
JBaby
8 years ago

My cheater didn’t talk about places, but he’s so simple-minded that I’m sure he would’ve gone with the standard ‘I was in a dark place’. Just after we separated, I confronted him on his months of unemployment, coupled with gaming, which preceded the final affair. He shouted at me, “Did you ever think that maybe I was depressed?!” Hmmm, no. You didn’t look depressed every day when I would come home from school and catch you in your underwear, unshowered, sitting on the coffee table with X-Box headset on your nappy head and controller in your hands, grinning and laugh-yelling at the TV. Btw, (because I’m feeling bitchy thinking about this), he lost his job for texting a pic of a coworker’s boobs to other coworkers. Supposedly, the boob-shot was unsolicited and he thought it was anonymous. Then he sat for a year on the coffee table in his underwear not looking for a job and purposely (by later admission) sabotaging any and all interviews I arranged for him. I was at school full-time and would walk in after an 8 hour day plus traffic and he would ask me what’s for dinner. So this is what depression looks like to him: 8 hours of video games a day, sitting around doing absolutely no adult things all day, then when wife comes home sitting around playing some more and waiting for food to come straight to your mouth. You say potato, I say laziness and entitlement. This image of him (underwear and nappy, headset-indented hair) is what I go to whenever I delude myself into ‘they’re happy and in love and I’m all over here single with 4 kids’. At least it’s not single with 5 kids anymore, lol. And I know for a fact that he is doing the same thing to her. AND, she’s a nut job, so both of them got what they deserved.

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  JBaby

JBaby, your story just gave me the worst feeling, remembering those days of being USED by a lazy Slacker that says he’s depressed! The person who’s working full-time, doing fucking everything, and being the only real parent, is who should be depressed! Yikes! Thank you once again, CL, for making this site, so I could find my backbone and get out!
X was always excusing his many, many problems by saying- Those were fucked up times. Well, I was going through it, too, with no awesome Chump to make me dinner, and pay all the bills, and even give me massages…I can’t believe how I babied him! I still have to fight Chumpy feelings of feeling sorry for him, it’s a work in progress.
One good thing I’ve taken away from all this is – I know I’m really strong, and resilient, because I am thriving after all that!

Anne
Anne
8 years ago
Reply to  JBaby

Please tell me you got rid of the coffee table too.

MagPie
MagPie
8 years ago
Reply to  JBaby

Wow I literally just threw up a little in my mouth. How old are these “men”??? This is like the definition of Leaving a Cheater Gaining a Life. I really think these gamer loser types have so much resentment they do this as a passive aggressive means to hurt their partner. They force the parent/child dynamic out of extreme self-loathing and entitlement, then resent you for “controlling them”.

And yes its crazy how much weight lift end and happiness you feel when you drop 200 lbs of dead weight. How much easier and drama free and less painful your life is without them.

BetterDays
BetterDays
8 years ago
Reply to  MagPie

MagPie – YES! Exactly this! “They force the parent/child dynamic out of extreme self-loathing and entitlement, then resent you for “controlling them.”

Took me awhile to figure this one out, but this was the dynamic in our relationship. And then one of the reasons he gave me for cheating/leaving was I wasn’t enough fun.

NotTodaySatan
NotTodaySatan
8 years ago
Reply to  MagPie

“They force the parent/child dynamic out of extreme self-loathing and entitlement, then resent you for “controlling them”.”

Exactly. The relief I felt when I freed myself from a man child was amazing. Now my energy goes to parenting my actual child and on self-care.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  NotTodaySatan

Man-child, indeed. As my therapist put it, I was the single mother of three (though I only birthed two children).

willowtree
willowtree
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Oh that is so me too! 3 kids but only 2 of them grew up!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  willowtree

Lol, Willowtree! My cheater never grew up, but at least he left the house ; ).

NotTodaySatan
NotTodaySatan
8 years ago
Reply to  JBaby

My ex was a gamer as well. The description of being unshowered, sitting in his underwear, with an indent in his hair from the Xbox headset, just waiting for his hardworking chump to get home…that’s spot on. It’s such an improvement to be a single parent of a child rather than a surrogate mother of a fuckwit who behaved like an entitled teenager.

Kay
Kay
8 years ago
Reply to  NotTodaySatan

Not today Satan is the greatest screen name ever! Ha!!! I laughed my head off! Love it. ?

NotTodaySatan
NotTodaySatan
8 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Thanks! It’s usually what I think whenever I have to interact with my ex. 🙂

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Me too! Great name, conjures up all kinds of stuff to me!

Yup
Yup
8 years ago

MY XH LOVED to hang around the new hood. Victimhood. I became chief villain and abuser.

The TALES he told! He needed to fire up the “VICmobile”, with his trusty sidekick, ROBBIN’ (as in my husband), and drive off out of Gotham.

Anne
Anne
8 years ago
Reply to  Yup

Hahahahaha

Magneto (Yup)
Magneto (Yup)
8 years ago
Reply to  Yup

Just call me Magneto…..

Kellia
Kellia
8 years ago

Yes the “dark place”. It’s when they’ve found someone else already and they just aren’t sure how to juggle both at the same time, the AP and their spouse. They want their cake and eat it too, and don’t know how to they will manage. But their place isn’t that dark when it comes to having sex, lying, cheating. They’re plenty capable of doing that, but the place is oh so dark when it comes to doing the right thing.

Raging
Raging
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

I got the “I thought you hated me” line… I told her that of course I did, she was sneaking around, telling me lies, picking fights with me for no reason, being cold, being mean, being distant.. was I supposed to act like I was enjoying that? It wasn’t hate, it was me trying to figure out what the hell was going on with all the mixed signals.

I’m with you Kellia, I think the cheating and flirting and all that leads to the dark place, not the other way around.

They seek out that dark place because it’s what they want. What my wife should really have said, (if she was capable of being honest).. would be “I hated you because I got close to the guy at work that I was flirting with and sending signals to that I was available and you and this marriage were holding me back, but still convenient to pay bills and do chores and drive kids around. Once you married me, you were no longer a challenge. ”

She was all fixing up her makeup, buying clothes.. going to the gym, going with her friends.. seemed to be having the time of her life. Didn’t seem to dark until she got caught, then boom…. clouds incoming in 3..2..1…..

Buddy
Buddy
8 years ago
Reply to  Raging

Story of my cheater, my life too. Once I committed to her and proved my commitment over and over with action, she lost attraction and “deserved more”.

In the meantime, I did all the work. Really. All of it.

Once I caught her, she said her emotional needs weren’t being met. Yeah, it is kind of hard to meet her emotional needs when she constantly withdrew from me, neglected me and rejected me.

What they are really saying with “my emotional needs weren’t being met” is
– I just don’t get that thrill from you, so really, I don’t want you to meet my emotional needs
– I prefer using your desire to meet my needs against you, to get you to do all the work while I can play around
– I don’t want you to be someone I’d be attracted to because that might mean I have to do some work around here too
– Now that I’ve had you, I really want and deserve new, different, better, richer and I am entitled to that
– And, deep down, I am afraid of any true intimacy. Fantasy fucking other men is so much easier.

Virago
Virago
8 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Brilliant, Buddy. Story of my ‘situation with MoFaux’ (definitely NOT a ‘relationship’!).

Interestingly, since Dingleberry dropped him 3 months after DDay, I wondered where he would ‘go’ for thrills because he needed to be cheating. NEEDED. Did it throughout a long marriage (to his wife for decades!) and then probably to me for decades.

But, if there is no one to gaslight, shame, blame etc where do they go? Existential question: how can I be my true fucktard self without a chump?
ps I got going TOO much on this and had to delete! You’ll all thank me that I did so!!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Virago

Virago, “But, if there is no one to gaslight, shame, blame etc where do they go? Existential question: how can I be my true fucktard self without a chump?”

Yes, yes, a million times, yes! They need a victim the way mosquitoes need a host. Can’t survive without someone else’s blood (plus, where’s the sport in being inert?).

Reply Comments

BetterDays
BetterDays
8 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Buddy – you totally nailed it. I got that crap about not meeting his emotional needs from The Entitled One. And your description of what that REALLY meant is dead on.

Raging
Raging
8 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

I had a therapist that mentioned needs not being met.. I told her that I’d need to turn into the guy that she was sleeping with at work. I couldn’t meet that need.

Kay
Kay
8 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

And Buddy, she’s also thinking: When I’m no longer distracted by the thrill of the chase, I have time to stop and think. Which is never good for me, so I have to have the constant distraction of new because I am so crappy that it scares me. And I don’t want to do the work to become less of a piece of crap. Sounds right eh?

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Raging

Fixing her makeup, buying a new fuck-me outfit, getting new shoes to match the outfit, going for a run with the dog, asking me to take pictures of her new dye-job and haircut, all in preparation for her first outing with Match Stick. No, Raging. It’s hate.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

I am sorry you have to digest this Ian, hate is a healthy reaction when realizing how she was using you as a photographer and kibble supplier while getting ready for MS… That’s just so twisted and sick!

BTW – Her idiocy in filing with his address on the petition is priceless! It seems that your NC is giving them more rope… Keep forging on!!

Doingme
Doingme
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

So classic, Ian. The Limited asked my opinion on clothing he was purchasing while cheating. When we got home he modeled new boxers he bought and wanted my opinion on how they looked. Hmm…. they looked like fucking boxer shorts. Fucking assholes.

unicornomore
unicornomore
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Yes, the “dark place”…yes,my cheater spoke of that place. Odd thing though, they all act as if they invented this dark place, like it was all a shock to them that it existed. I will go all “Catholic grandma” on everyone and mention that the Church has long know of (and gravely warned against) ventures into this dark place…it has a name too…it’s called “Mortal Sin” and its effing real.

jojobee
jojobee
8 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

YES!

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Exactly how mine played out. Thank you, Kellia.

HM
HM
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

I love how they act as though it “is painful for them too!”…as if. Mine said to me “don’t kick me while I’m down”…jeezus.

bepositive
bepositive
8 years ago
Reply to  HM

LOL! I heard the same thing!

Sasanka
Sasanka
8 years ago
Reply to  bepositive

Hahaa! Mine said often “yeah, just keep beating the dead snake!” (he is from south Asia). Well, snake he is, and very live one.

SDK
SDK
8 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Kellia you nailed it.

nic
nic
8 years ago

I’m having a bad day, meaning super snarky, but the first place I thought of was the patch of quicksand that would suck him back into his mother’s uterus after 50 yrs.

Digbert
Digbert
8 years ago
Reply to  nic

???

nic
nic
8 years ago

Or the place where several states touch so he could straddle 2 places at once. Like married but also not married. Committed but also young and free. Destructive but also worshipped and admired. Working hard and long hours but actually fucking his employee. Loyal but also fucking everyone in his family over. An exhausting trip, no?

somuchhurt
somuchhurt
8 years ago

My ex cheater said he just got lost? I said what the hell does that mean and it’s too bad you managed to find you way home every night if you were lost?

Oh and places he actually took his whore a few times – the church parking lot!!! That one just tore me apart! He was supposed to be this great godly man….I ask him what he thought God was thinking while he was commiting adultery at Gods house, he couldn’t even look at me.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago

Jackass needed to go back to Mommy’s house in the old neighborhood to take care of it and “work on himself.” Within walking distance of MOW. I still don’t know how he went from living on his own as an adult to the land of confusion in a matter of weeks.

strongwoman
strongwoman
8 years ago

My cheaters dark place was in the deep, dark internet looking for strange. He’s definitely a dark triad wannabee.

My cheater said he thought he wasn’t really cheating because it felt like he was playing a “video game.” Said he could see what he was dong was wrong but it didn’t feel real. And that it was an “out of body experience” ( that went on for 14 years!! ) therefore, he did nothing wrong. WTF! I told him “I wasn’t playing a video game – i was playing real life. And my life matters” what a nut job. I’m doing mediation (w/lawyer involvement) and have a house closing/moving out next week –good riddance! I hate these disordered golden child fucks who use us to hide their sick twisted shit from mothers!

lady jane
lady jane
8 years ago

Dodo said he was so unhappy ” his world had turned black.” I would be pretty unhappy too if I was sneaking around, afraid of getting caught. It’s hard work lying to be people you’re supposed to love and keeping all the lies straight. Do these people really think that lying and cheating will actually make them happy? It’s moronic to think so.

Deedee
Deedee
8 years ago
Reply to  lady jane

It’snot hard work if one is a cunning ,devious,practiced deceiver and pathological liar.
Ex had/ still has a room in the hospital with a bed as he’s an obstetrician.This is his place….a single bed where he shagged a nurse,another consultant,a secretary and a patient,juggling them all at the same time for years during working hours.Some of these women knew each other.Not a bother on him.Still came home and played the role of dutiful spouse.
I have no doubt he hasn’t changed although he is living with someone now.She most likely has no clue as to who he really is and I hear things have become a bit rocky between them.She’s totally welcome to him.The very thought of him makes me shudder.

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
8 years ago

cheater is an idiot who didn’t have the depth to describe a place he went. But physically, one of his OWs worked at an airport in a major hub city so he would make sure he scheduled his work travel through that airport with an adequate LAYover between flights.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

That does give new insight into the meaning of “layover.”

PF
PF
8 years ago

The true dark place for a cheater is being non-present in reality. A dark place for a cheater is a place where they are not the center of the universe.

When a cheater claims to be in a dark place when cheating, it’s actually a place that is super shiny strobe light awesome.

The real dark place place for a cheater is reality and for cheaters life would be fucking fantastic if only reality didn’t fuck it up.

The land of make believe isn’t dark at all, it’s a wonderland of glowing groins and magical kibbles.

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

I had not thought of it that way. Ya nailed it, PF!!

nic
nic
8 years ago

Lost is good – maybe there needs to be an enclosed pen for the lost – like they have for little kids at fairs and such. All those poor cheaters who got lost yet found a direct unencumbered route to right between someone’s legs. Poor things, so helpless.

DoneNow
DoneNow
8 years ago
Reply to  nic

Yes, in The Land of Confusion. “How did I get here? I don’t belong here. This is not where I wanted to be.” This is a direct quote.

Ummm, alien abduction? No wait, it was hookers. That’s how you got “here.”

DoingMe
DoingMe
8 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

The Limited said,”I can’t get anywhere with you.” It was the truth, my truth. Wherever he lands it’s not with me. The sadz spell is broken just like his dick. Oh that place, the fantacy land living with a new grandma with dogs in a dump with no money. POP all that attention? Haha that place.

Lothos
Lothos
8 years ago

Honestly I have no clue were the other place was that my X and her OM were going. He lived several states away (he was married and divorced his wife, his divorce was the same day my x-wife left me). He had an apartment in New Jersey for his job. My guess is they met in hotel rooms or in her SUV.

Her excuses were things like “going to the gym” or “shopping at the mall”.

At this point I don’t care. I believe they are engaged to be married now and bought a house together which I then cut off her alimony (Cohabitation law in Maryland FTW!). She complained to me saying when I would leave her alone so she can start a new life (she was referring to alimony). My response was “I wish you and him the best and hope this succeeds for you but honestly I want you to leave me alone so I can start a new life and me paying you alimony to help your new life move along is a bit much. I should not be paying you to propel that life (with another) so in reality you should be leaving me alone!”

She did not like that reply and never responded about it again. Oh well! LOL

Lost2015
Lost2015
8 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

That’s what sucks and is the last thing that’s keeping me around. The realization that not only do I not get to be with my kids everyday (which is the biggest thing), but the fact that I’ll have to pay my wife alimony every month for who knows how long even though she’s spent the past several years in a relationship with another man and has been hiding cash. A no-fault state is a terrible place to be.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

Marylander myself Lothos. Match Girl (lawyer dontcha know), was actually stupid enough to put Match Stick’s home address on her divorce filings. Apparently he fucked her stupid.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

MatchGirl should have put the address of the gas station from which she called you months ago after MatchStick threw her out of the house without purse or cell phone; I suspect she’ll be spending a lot of time there.

yo
yo
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

When they say theyre gonna fuck your brains out, they mean it.

Lothos
Lothos
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Now that is awesome!

If I ever get married again I am getting a prenup. I don’t care if she makes more than me or not. No prenup then no ring! We can date forever then as Maryland has no common marriage laws.

SDK
SDK
8 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

Lothos … like my soon to be ex wife.

She has the AP (supposedly rich business man, lol, meantime his salary is less then hers), but she wants me to pay for her car ,with huge amount of money for kids (aka keeping her living standards high).

I’m just thinking , the AP promised you lots of stuff, so why is he not helping you to take over your payments? You know the best part? With the divorce (I already sold the house), she would be able to finish off paying the car, but she is too greedy (and so is he)

So much for the tru love.. they have.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  SDK

Is there even one woman who Cheats with a guy who can’t upgrade her life with his “wealth?” Fucking hell. Way to perpetuate the stereotype you fucking golddiggers.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Well Ian I can say that the MOW that is now the ex’s wife didn’t marry a rich guy. He lost half of his 401k plus an additional 25K in savings. Not to mention the boat and new truck he bought while we were in fake wreckonciliation which I told him to only put in his name because I had a pretty good feeling our marriage was not going to end well.

Plus he “accidentally” gave me his credit card bill which he had run up to $5,000.00 in like the 2 months after I left.

Nope, she got herself some debt and she’s the one with the money. Or at least she used to be. Who knows now. Guys go for the money sometimes too.

Chumptacular
Chumptacular
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Ian,

You ask if there is even one woman who has cheated with a man who cannot upgrade her life with his “wealth.”

I have been divorced for 10 months now from a man whose last job was a temporary part-time minimum wage position he quit early in 2002. I supported him until I kicked him out 12 days after D-Day, which was a little over 13 months ago. Therefore, he had no “wealth” to offer to the OW.

OW is a greedy cake-eater who wanted her chump’s money and XH’s dick. XH is a greedy cake-eater who wanted my money and the fantasy life of hot sex and mad love with OW.

I believe they both wanted to keep the relationship in the realm of fantasy for obvious reasons. For him, a real relationship with her might mean getting a job. For her, a real relationship with him might mean supporting him and losing her chump’s money, which would result in a less affluent lifestyle.

I always heard, from my teen-age years, that being in love makes you happy. My observation of XH in the last year of our marriage, when I believe he was love-bombing the OW and cheating with her, is that he was very angry. When I noticed that he was distant and not very loving, I asked him to have a talk with me about our marriage. He refused to have a talk with me; instead he physically attacked me and put bruises on me. He told me he hated me, didn’t want to have sex with me and was just using me for my money. When I asked him why he hated me, he said it was because I didn’t make enough money. When I asked him how he could put bruises on me, he said he just snapped because I didn’t make enough money. The harder I tried to make it work, the more disrespectful and mean he became. I asked him at one point, “When will you respect me?” He replied, “Never.” I think he had to demonize me to rationalize and justify his decision to have an affair. Someone had to be the bad guy, and it wasn’t going to be him.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumptacular

“When I asked him why he hated me, he said it was because I didn’t make enough money. When I asked him how he could put bruises on me, he said he just snapped because he didn’t make enough money.”

Chumptacular, one thing you can be certain of is that this is a very unstable and evil man, one you are well rid of.

unicornomore
unicornomore
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Deadhusbands Schmoopie may have figured out well into their relationship that the half he would be left with after a divorce from me was much less than what her fiance could give her. She wore a $39,000 rock from her man while she fucked my husband. She and my husband eventually parted ways, she married her fiance and later divorced.

My Now husband was married to a woman who had delusions of grandeur..she said his Military Officer friends weren’t good enough …in fact nothing was good enough. She ran his credit cards up, signed a lease to rent a place (him paying of course) took what she wanted and then stalled forcing him to file for divorce. He paid her money of top of money (his family paid her to be removed from the family trust).

About the time it became clear that even with all she got, she would likely still need to work , she asked to reconcile. He declined that generous offer. She remarried years later to a seemingly nice guy but he has nothing close to what my now husband has worked to achieve. She now treats us with utter contempt.

So we had 2 golddiggers in our past. Me? I never aspired to wealth…I hoped for a loving faithful spouse and live in a tract home and drive a Honda (If I was lucky). I didn’t have a loving faithful spouse, but I did financial security out of it all. What a genuine blessing it is now to know that me & newhusband aren’t after what each other has our discussions revolve around mutual love, support and whats for dinner. There are non gold diggers out there and finding one is a treasure in itself.

Lothos
Lothos
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Well in my case my X took a step down. Her new fiancé/boyfriend makes slightly more than half of what I make.

However she controls him real well. He is potty trained and does every command she gives him to the point (last I heard) he was about 60k in debt (not including mortgage) all from my x-wife.

Hey, him and I talked once on the phone almost three years ago and I warned him. Oh well ROFL!

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

Entitled bitch. Makes me furious that they don’t have an smidgen of empathy. She sucks Lothos.

Lothos
Lothos
8 years ago

Yup, Now she is trying to convince everyone that even though his name is on the mortgage and deed to the home that he does not live there and they are only friends and that I still need to pay her alimony. Right, the $5k bed she sleeps in (he bought it for her) and the $3k 3D TV she uses (he bought her) and they are just friends? My daughter already told me he sleeps in the master bedroom with her mother and I have an eye witness who saw the engagement ring and they admitted to being engaged (they were engaged 1 month after our divorce and were going to wait the 3 years till alimony ran out).

Again thank god for Maryland “Cohabitation” laws/rules. I added it to my divorce documents which she signed. She just never read the divorce papers.

Sucks to be her!

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago

My cheater would tell me, ” I can’t talk about this to you. You know I’m in a bad place right now!” As opposed I suppose to a “good place” in a hotel room screwing Schmoopie??? Don’t know, don’t care! I know he’s in a “bad place” for sure now. He has no Schmoopie and no money! Tough break!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

After getting caught, mine claimed he had been in the “Middle Life Crisis” place and the “I felt free” place. So I made him feel really free with a divorce.

Deunan_Knute
Deunan_Knute
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

@ Tempest Mine did the same thing with the “Midlife Crisis” crap. I think this was posted here before, but bears a re-post for the newbies….

http://nashlinks.com/midlife

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Deunan_Knute

Deunan_K–that is BRILLIANT. Hey chumps–we have the Cheater Handbook, Cliff-notes version.

This is a Must-read (even if your jackass did not claim midlife crisis). It puts all their actions in perspective.

Kbchump
Kbchump
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Oh God, did all that sound so fucking familiar! Great article, but I know now the cheaters just don’t give a fuck. They would read that article and never see themselves in it, at least my cheating ex whore wouldn’t. She would read it and be like “Huh?”
I can totally see her stupid face saying that.

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Mine also played the midlife crisis card. I felt he was going through something and my job was being supportive regardless of how bad he was behaving because, “in sickness and in health…”.

He referred to being with me as being “trapped”, “stuck” and “in jail.” Now I wish I had given him that “Get Out Of Jail Free” card, from Monopoly.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

So many of these cheaters are emotionally abusive and controlling that the adultery is our “Get Out of Jail Free” card. (And if you get a good settlement, don’t forget to buy Boardwalk and Park Place.)

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Funny you should say that Tempest. It was one of my first thoughts when I found out the ex had an affair. “This is my get out of jail free card.” It was a good thought too. If only I’d listened to it right away!

I still used the card but I held on to it for three years before I cashed it in. My bad!

Tessie
Tessie
8 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

I felt the same. Before we got married I told cheater ex my one irrevocable deal breaker was cheating. I even told him if he had any wild oats left to sow, get on out there and sow them, because if he ever cheated, that would be it as far as I was concerned.

He was so arrogant and entitled, he thought he could rub her in my face and get away with cheating. Wrong. I had to stay a few more months til I finished nursing school and passed my state boards. And then it was adios shithead. He was truly shocked. He thought it was going to be cake forever.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Cheaterssuck–there’s no amount of money that makes up for 3 extra years with a cheater (but I hope the settlement pot was a little bigger at the end to partly compensate you for your misery. It’s the only way I can feel a smidgeon better that I didn’t find out about X’s affair for 8 years; not that the extra money was worth those 8 years of my life, but that it HURT him to have to give me more of “his” money. Community property state, baby!)

unicornomore
unicornomore
8 years ago

I was SO RELIEVED when nowdeadhusband “admitted” he was in a Midlife crisis…I thought that his epiphany would be an avenue to self awareness and healing…it gave me hopium for my pipe! What I didnt know is that he had been cheating for years and this “crisis” was a result of him falling in lurve with one of his whores. As it turns out, my “crisis” was in marrying him in the first place.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

‘Midlife Crisis’ = now I’m old enough to have a label for my poor impulse control.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

So true Tempest! They always sucked, but now that they have to live with the consequences of their actions, they try as many versions of the poor sausage acts they can!

The smoking mirrors they used to be so good at fooling people with are getting less and less believable, especially as the gap between their GFs’ age and their own keeps widening…

One of the best forms of karma to me is that our cheaters are stuck with themselves, and see their own deterioration every time they look in the mirror. To them, their own aging process is akin to witnessing how their outward appearance looks more and more like their ugly psyche…

In contrast, chumpy us work hard to grow from our life experiences, and forge on to build our best life from a place of integrity and strength! Good riddance.

hesatthecurb
hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I got ‘midlife crisis’ too. After bursting out laughing, I replied “Oh really? If that is true, from what your family has told me about your serial cheater history, your ‘midlife’ started in your teen years.”

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Right on Tempest! The best thing to do when you’re married to a cheater! Give them the freedom to go to any of those “places” they love so much!

Then your world becomes a happy place!

Lostandfound
Lostandfound
8 years ago

My STBX keep saying that I don’t understand but he has “issues” and it’s not all about me. No it’s about being a selfish prick, leading a double life and not giving a shit about his family. He would lay on the couch and say “I’m not happy ” and he said he would argue with himself in his head and that made him drink. Cause he’s such a nice guy he couldn’t stand the way he treated us even though he did it anyway. Apparently the bad self won because he finally ran off with schmoopie. Even now on the rare occasions we have contact, he complains to me about how tormented he is and how schmoopie is so sweet she comforts him when he has a bad day. Poor sad sausage torments himself when he is not busy enjoying his new life with his schmoopie, retired in Florida while I will have to continue to work the rest my life

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago
Reply to  Lostandfound

“He would lay on the couch and say “I’m not happy ” and he said he would argue with himself in his head and that made him drink. Cause he’s such a nice guy he couldn’t stand the way he treated us even though he did it anyway. Apparently the bad self won because he finally ran off with schmoopie.”

Lostandfound, I think we married the same guy.

Lostandfound
Lostandfound
8 years ago

We all married the same guy !

ANC
ANC
8 years ago

Asshole never mentioned dark places. He just found it suitable to hookup on work trips. He’d even meet his MOW at ORD and then they would fly off to places like Cleveland for a little fuckfest. His best place was even easier and closer to home with the MOW. She would fly in from Orange Cty CA to ORD. He would pick her up at the airport and then commence fucking at the Hyatt on Lake Cook rd. Lovely.

ANC
ANC
8 years ago
Reply to  ANC

Maybe the dark places refer to orifices. He was balls deep into various genitalia, mouths, rectums of many. True tunnels of love.

aka
aka
8 years ago

My X was a world traveler. He started out in Spread Eagle, Wisconsin. Somehow found his way to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Then he traveled to Denial Bay, Australia. He invited me to join him in Looneyville, Texas (I turned that invite down…). He stopped for a drink at the Gaslight Saloon in South Dakota. And now I think (or hope!) he’s on his way to Hell, Michigan. (Note: all of these places actually exist in an Atlas.)

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  aka

Looneyville is pretty-much “anywhere but Austin” in Texas.

hesatthecurb
hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Hey, Ian—-what did (my) great State of Texas ever do to you? 😉

Austin IS cool but the rest of the state rocks pretty damn well too.

Yeah, we’ve had some looney politicians but……. 🙂

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  hesatthecurb

Sorry hesatthecurb,

I was having a terrible afternoon.

I’m originally from Texas; born in Houston.

I was actin’ a-fool. Mea Culpa.

hesatthecurb
hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

@Ian—it’s all good, Bro. You know how it goes: ‘Don’t Mess With Texas’ 😉

ANC
ANC
8 years ago
Reply to  aka

Maybe he drove through Climax, MI on his way to Hell.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  ANC

with a roundabout trip through Spread Eagle, Wisconsin, on to French Lick, Indiana and Blue Ball, Ohio, then passing through Intercourse, PA on his way to a second Climax in NY.

mgirontree
mgirontree
8 years ago

My STBX said, “He is afraid that if he comes back into the marriage he will go back into his OWN WORLD and hurt me again.” I guess his “OWN WORLD” explains it all! His happiness, his fun, his needs, his………, just fill in the blank because in his “own world” no matters expect him. It must be nice in that world of his.

Raging
Raging
8 years ago
Reply to  mgirontree

He’s already prepping his excuse for next time. (I warned you it might happen again). Probably good to take his advice and not take him back. He’s handing you a giant red flag. It’d disguised as “I care about you and don’t want to hurt you”…. translation: “If you take me back I will continue to do what I do, lie and cheat, then blame you for taking me back because I warned you”

mgirontree
mgirontree
8 years ago
Reply to  Raging

Raging, you are absolutely right!!!!!

gepster
gepster
8 years ago

Once upon a time there was an emotional toddler named Fat Bastard who lived in a magical land called The Rules Don’t Apply To Me Because I’m SPECIAL.

Fat Bastard spend his days in this magical land strolling the Forests of Strange Twat, paddling down the river of Incest Porn, and dipping his teeny tiny tallywhacker in the tinking fountain of Twitter Tramps. He lived on Cake and Kibble and he grew large and flabby from it.

Fat Bastard had a magical mirror that made his 400lb hairy backed, flabby, pasty body look like Joe Manginola in Magic Mike XXL, and that’s the image he believed in because he was the prince of the magical land of The Rules Don’t Apply To Me Because I’m SPECIAL. He had a special gallery of all the wonderous things he found in the Forest Of Strange Twats and fountain of Twitter Tramps, and he looked at them whenever the Evil Queen Gepster was off saving lives in the Swamp of the Infirm.

One day Evil Queen Gepster found Fat Bastards special gallery. She saw how he’d been spending his days and when she confronted him he said “NO! I haven’t been spending my days traveling through the Forest of Strange Twats, I’ve been in a dark place called I Don’t Know How To Deal With Being Married, but i promise you Queen Gepster I’ll never go there again!”

And Queen Gepster believed him, for secretly she was a Chump.

But Fat Bastard had lied to Queen Gepster. He continued visiting the Forest, and the River, and the Fountain. He gazed into his Magical Mirror and saw only what he wanted to see.

When Queen Gepster discovered his lies she became enraged! Flames shot from her eyes, obscenities poured from her mouth, objects hurled from her hands at Fat Bastards head and she uttered the magical words “I’m DONE! Pack your shit and get the FUCK out of MY HOUSE!”

And thus Fat Bastard was cursed. he was banished forever from the land of The Rules Don’t Apply To Me Because I’m Special. Fat Bastard was forced to gather his Flying Monkeys, his magical mirror was shattered, and he was doomed to spend the rest of his lonely days couch surfing, working minimum wage jobs, and seducing trailer trash Queen Gepster wanna be’s.

Queen Gepster burned down the Forest of Strange Twats,dammed off the River of Incest Porn and took a sledgehammer to the fountain of Twitter Tramps. She made a bonfire from Fat Bastards special gallery, and renamed the land of The Rules Don’t Apply To Me Because I’m SPECIAL.

This land is now called I Deserve Better Than This. It borders a lovely place called Meh, and some sunny tuesday Queen Gepster plans to travel to Meh and eat Pie.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  gepster

Gepster, When is your screenplay going into production? Whom would you cast as Fat Bastard?

gepster
gepster
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

It would have to be John Goodman, but he’d have to gain a shit ton of weight back and dye his hair red.

Oh I’m so glad everyone was tickled by the story – I was laughing as I wrote it!

Chump4Bolero
Chump4Bolero
8 years ago
Reply to  gepster

Wonderful story!

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump4Bolero

Awesome Gepster, just change the porn to “threesomes with girls dressed up to look like high school cheerleaders” and you got my ex’s story too